Falling in Love.. Online

[WheelieStrong]

So i'm ust wondering what you all think on the subject of online relationships and love.

Do you think it's possible to fall in love online?

[Sachita]

no don't do it. Read the thread about online relationships, meeting etc that Superfemme started.

can you care about people online? sure, look at so many here but falling in love is a whole other ball of wax.

[SuperFemme]

It IS possible to fall in love online. That is the way a lot of great relationships start. Mine included.

Here is the thread Sachita is referring to: http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1365

It's a discussion about protecting yourself while falling in love....

[Rufusboi]

So i'm ust wondering what you all think on the subject of online relationships and love.

Do you think it's possible to fall in love online?

I think you can meet online. But for me, love comes after face to face interaction. YOu can be attracted to an online persona, fantasize about someone online, or lust after someone online.

Rufus

[Andrew, Jr.]

You can do anything online or over the phone, but I would prefer real time. That way nobody can pretend to be something that they are not. Just like Rufus stated.

[adorable]

I have met people who have done it. What I know for sure for me is that it's possible to be madly and passionately >3 online.

And we >3 each other every where - even in public - right in front of people! We don't even care who knows that we are greater then three with each other. We are both hopeless romantics like that. We each stand there with one toe in the water and dare the other one to flinch. -sigh- he is so freakin' cute!

On a slightly more serious note - I know that what I've been looking for is a needle in haystack. Being online gave me a bunch more haystacks to search. Once I found the right stack, the needle was much bigger and quite easy to find. *snicker* :fishswim:

There are no guarantees whether you meet online or in real time. Connections for me are difficult. I am not easily understood, I have a few minor issues. lol. When it's right I think you feel it. When you connect you know it. When it works it is fabulous. There is only one way to know for sure and that is to take the leap. It's not easy for those of us who have lost before. Once bitten....

[Kobi]

Anything is possible. For me, it is not probable.

Relationships are complicated things, so is attraction. I might find someone on line to be intriguing or someone I might like to get to know better. But, falling in love, for me, is an up close and personal thing sans a computer screen or telephone.

[SuperFemme]

Falling in love is a process.

I know LOTS of people who MET online, and an attraction turned into a spark, the spark turned into a fire...and today they are happily together.

It CAN happen. Falling in love online doesn't necessarily mean that the entire process from glimmer to fire happens online. It means that yes, online you can see the glimmer of attraction that can lead to love.

[WheelieStrong]

i've always been in love with the idea of love..
my people issues and disomfort socially kinda make it impossible.

i find it difficult to even make friends because i fear rejection, sometimes live in my old little world and people don't get me.

Sadly if i wanted sex, i think i could get it easily just to a "social" site.
but i never just wanted sex, so i gave trying to be social.

So i'm here and i think i met someone nice without even looking, we started chatting over the smallest of small things.

But i am kind of woried that my social skills are going to screw me over..
i keep telling myself no matter what i should keep my distance cause i only know the person online.. However i have to consider that in person i would never have had the chance to meet anyone.

God i really do babble on!!

[SuperFemme]

Wheelie? We've chatted and you are going to be fine. You have fabulous social skills. Sometimes it's ok to take a risk, yanno?

[Jet]

They f**king suck.
Never again—not online, not r/t. I'm attracted to certain
types of women, but I won't let anyone from online get
close except for friendship. Jus' sayin'

[WingsOnFire]

i've always been in love with the idea of love..
my people issues and disomfort socially kinda make it impossible.

i find it difficult to even make friends because i fear rejection, sometimes live in my old little world and people don't get me.

Sadly if i wanted sex, i think i could get it easily just to a "social" site.
but i never just wanted sex, so i gave trying to be social.

So i'm here and i think i met someone nice without even looking, we started chatting over the smallest of small things.

But i am kind of woried that my social skills are going to screw me over..
i keep telling myself no matter what i should keep my distance cause i only know the person online.. However i have to consider that in person i would never have had the chance to meet anyone.

God i really do babble on!!

Sometimes it takes going out on that limb to help build your confidence... take it slow, explore likes and dislikes.. TALK about your concerns when you feel the relationship is moving beyond your comfort zone .... If a person cant listen to your concerns without putting you down for it then maybe it isnt the right relationship for you... So dont feel you cant talk about how you are feeling..

I met my Daddy/Sir online.... I then met him in person by going to a state I had never been to and meeting 8 people I had never met just to get out of my comfort zone.. I had really enjoyed my interactions with them online...

Does it always work online? No... Can it? Yes... For me it requires real time interaction but that doesnt mean online is not possible. Everyone has their own personal experiences to judge from... but you can only judge it from your OWN experience... Listen to your heart, listen to those little nudges when something doesnt feel right.. Usually if it doesnt feel right it isnt.. My first online experience was just that way. I gave way too much of myself to someone I hadnt really spent alot of time getting to know. It was a very hard lesson to learn.

I havent read the other thread yet but I have a feeling it will hopefully give you alot of helpful tips...

Good luck!!

Becca

[bigbutchmistie]

For me I think SuperFemme said it best Falling in love is a process.

I know LOTS of people who MET online, and an attraction turned into a spark, the spark turned into a fire...and today they are happily together.

It CAN happen. Falling in love online doesn't necessarily mean that the entire process from glimmer to fire happens online. It means that yes, online you can see the glimmer of attraction that can lead to love.

And that's the way it is with me. I meet femmes online attracted to who they are meet them in person and can tell wether there is a spark there or not. If there is great we can move forward, if there isnt then well that's cool too Ive made a great friend.

I have had friends that met their significant others online as well who have met and fallen in love once they meet. It can happen. And it does happen when its supposed too... Until then it sure is fun meeting and trying :)

[Lynn]

I think the answer is yes. I know you *can* meet a love on line because I did. I've been with my partner for five years, and our relationship has progressed from online, to long-distance, to living together for the past three years.

It's hard to find a someone who is "right," so I'm all for being open to all options. I know too many people who are single, who have dated all of the eligible people they know, locally. If you want to meet someone, I think it's OK to take a risk. Just be smart and careful. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[Massive]

I think the answer is yes. I know you *can* meet a love on line because I did. I've been with my partner for five years, and our relationship has progressed from online, to long-distance, to living together for the past three years.

It's hard to find a someone who is "right," so I'm all for being open to all options. I know too many people who are single, who have dated all of the eligible people they know, locally. If you want to meet someone, I think it's OK to take a risk. Just be smart and careful. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Thank you for this post Lynn. I admit to being too scared to post because I do believe it is possible to find love online, I found My babygirl on the other site, and we've happily moved over here since then.
IMHO relationships, be they online, r/t, long-distance, ALL take hard work, honest, open communication and talking as often as you possibly can, even if it's merely to say "sorry, I can't get online right now, but don't think it's because I don't want to talk to you, it's for *x* reason(s)"
If you meet someone you click with then it's up to you to see where and how far it can go, dismissing it out of hand because they are far away can mean you will regret that for the rest of your life, yes, it is hard being long-distance, I speak from experience here, My babygirl lives in SC, and I live in the North-East of England. It might be harder than dating someone just down the street but it is equally rewarding, today we have webcams and the likes of Skype where you don't have to spend a fortune calling someone on the phone, you hook up your cam and mic and chat, it's not exactly face to face, but it comes pretty damn close.
Try not to be too scared, that's the best advice I can give, and don't let other peoples doubts dissuade you either, it's your personal choice as to how you choose to live and love!

[SuperFemme]

Thank you for this post Lynn. I admit to being too scared to post because I do believe it is possible to find love online, I found My babygirl on the other site, and we've happily moved over here since then.
IMHO relationships, be they online, r/t, long-distance, ALL take hard work, honest, open communication and talking as often as you possibly can, even if it's merely to say "sorry, I can't get online right now, but don't think it's because I don't want to talk to you, it's for *x* reason(s)"
If you meet someone you click with then it's up to you to see where and how far it can go, dismissing it out of hand because they are far away can mean you will regret that for the rest of your life, yes, it is hard being long-distance, I speak from experience here, My babygirl lives in SC, and I live in the North-East of England. It might be harder than dating someone just down the street but it is equally rewarding, today we have webcams and the likes of Skype where you don't have to spend a fortune calling someone on the phone, you hook up your cam and mic and chat, it's not exactly face to face, but it comes pretty damn close.
Try not to be too scared, that's the best advice I can give, and don't let other peoples doubts dissuade you either, it's your personal choice as to how you choose to live and love!

I'm glad you posted because I was hoping you would. Wheelie is in England too!

Your last sentence is the best: don't let other peoples doubts dissuade you.

Amen! At the end of the day, it is between you, your object of desire and fate.

[Massive]

I'm glad you posted because I was hoping you would. Wheelie is in England too!

Your last sentence is the best: don't let other peoples doubts dissuade you.

Amen! At the end of the day, it is between you, your object of desire and fate.

Thank you SuperFemme!
I know, I noticed Wheelie was one of the few BFPers on My side of the pond, unfortunately we're at opposite ends of our small island, if I lived closer I can guarantee that I would be popping by for a chat and a cuppa!

Wheelie, I sincerely wish you all the best here!

[WheelieStrong]

Thank
I know, I noticed Wheelie was one of the few BFPers on My side of the pond, unfortunately we're at opposite ends of our small island, if I lived closer I can guarantee that I would be popping by for a chat and a cuppa!


i would offer to put the kettle on for you Syr, but it won't fit, no matter how much i try to squeeze in! :superfunny:

My ex gf (the wench lol) who cares for me is from Sunderland, are you that far North East?

[WolfyOne]

Sometimes it's ok to take a risk, yanno?


I did, I've loved and lost, but not for any reason anyone would ever imagine.

Honestly, I'd do it again if the right person happened into my life
Well, at least when I'm ready, anyhow

[SuperFemme]

I did, I've loved and lost, but not for any reason anyone would ever imagine.

Honestly, I'd do it again if the right person happened into my life
Well, at least when I'm ready, anyhow

Awww. Wolfy. Did she ball up your socks rather than just match n fold?

I hate that.

[WolfyOne]

Awww. Wolfy. Did she ball up your socks rather than just match n fold?

I hate that.


LOL, she never had to do the laundry because of that.

You'd probably be one of the few that believed me if I told you the whole story.
It's sad, so bring a hankie with you.

[Massive]

i would offer to put the kettle on for you Syr, but it won't fit, no matter how much i try to squeeze in! :superfunny:

My ex gf (the wench lol) who cares for me is from Sunderland, are you that far North East?

lmao No problem but Thank you for the effort!

Yeah, I'm from up past Newcastle now, used to live in 'the toon' but I moved further north to be with My family. I wonder if I know her ... if she was ever on the scene in Newcastle in the past 13 years, it's entirely possible we've bumped into each other!

[SuperFemme]

What's a kettle? Is that for super fast water boiling? To make tea?

[Massive]

What's a kettle? Is that for super fast water boiling? To make tea?

Yeah, we use kettles here, that plug into the wall, to boil water for cups of tea, or coffee, or hot other drinks ...

[SuperFemme]

Yeah, we use kettles here, that plug into the wall, to boil water for cups of tea, or coffee, or hot other drinks ...

I THOUGHT so. Thanks! :)

[Massive]

I THOUGHT so. Thanks! :)

You are more than welcome.

[Soft*Silver]

I think, for me, the internet gives me a cerebral start...because online is a brain thing. I read, I interact. I process. I also "feel" but I feel in regard to what I am seeking...and until I can meet the other person and have energies exchanged and movements entwined ( I am not talking about sex but actualy movement, because that creates a mass of moving energy) I cant develop those feelings. It can have a start online but it has to have the presence of the other one to be developed.

sadly, not all those feelings we start with over the internet, will be developed into love. The actual movement of that person might not match my energies...intellect, yes. Obviously something they wrote inspired me..its a brain thing. But it didnt carry out in person..and thats ok too...

[ravfem]

hey Wheelie :)

i have had several relationships that started online. In fact, the 3 major relationships that have meant the most to me personally all began online, including my relationship now with Massive. i don't think either of us were looking for anything serious, and though we've been chat room friends for a while, when the connection...well, connected, boy did it!

i had/have no fear about starting online....but the distance between Hym & me scared me like crazy....it still does a little. If we were at least on the same continent, i know i could drive or fly to see Hym without it costing $1000 and requiring lots of legalities. But, that's ok. We take it one day at a time. We talk a lot via skype, yahoo & text and let me tell ya there is nothing like getting a package in the mail and opening it up to see what goodies are inside!

But the bottom line is, it felt right. It feels so much more than right. It is meant to be. And it really is all about effective communication.....online or not.

There are fake people online and face-to-face. How often do you hear about how when people first meet they acted one way, but as time went on, they changed? It happens, no matter how people meet or interact. i do think it's easier to continue to be fake over the computer, but regardless, you have to take chances no matter what. And you're going to meet some people who suck and some who are great. That's how life is.

Taking chances, especially with your emotions, is never easy. But what's the alternative? Closing yourself off to possibilities? It's pretty safe, and lonely too. Yeah, i did that for many years....well, until Massi came into my life anyway.

Good luck to you! And don't let another person's experience or tale keep you from discovering what is and isn't right for you.

[Soft*Silver]

lol, Rav, you mentioned a box of goodies! My last LDR sent me monthly boxes of goodies! He was so sweet...little things that meant alot. Nothing expensive..mostly from dollar stores or Wal Mart of little places he would go all month..he would collect them in a box every month and then send them off to me. It was like xmas for the soul! It showed me how well he knew me, for one thing. Like, when he sent me ice cube trays for every holiday..he was talking to the hostess in me! And he sent me foods from his state too. I sent him cookies and ethnic food from my world as well. It was one of the pleasantries that the "boy next door" kind of dating doesnt need...

[WheelieStrong]

lmao No Yeah, I'm from up past Newcastle now, used to live in 'the toon' but I moved further north to be with My family. I wonder if I know her ... if she was ever on the scene in Newcastle in the past 13 years, it's entirely possible we've bumped into each other!

No Syr i beleive she moved down here 20 years ago and hated it

[Massive]

No Syr i beleive she moved down here 20 years ago and hated it


lol I can't blame her, it is a bit grim oop north!

[WingsOnFire]

Awww. Wolfy. Did she ball up your socks rather than just match n fold?

I hate that.

I resemble that remark! :superfunny: I learned the hard way how to match Daddy's socks. I had NO IDEA there were lines INSIDE the collar of the sock (is that the right term?).... So now "I" buy his socks and they are all white!! No problem matching up now! Now to discretely get rid of those "other" socks... :giggle:

[SuperFemme]

I resemble that remark! :superfunny: I learned the hard way how to match Daddy's socks. I had NO IDEA there were lines INSIDE the collar of the sock (is that the right term?).... So now "I" buy his socks and they are all white!! No problem matching up now! Now to discretely get rid of those "other" socks... :giggle:

Bwahaha. Right? I hate toe lines. Blah.

[DamonK]

You DO realize I threadstalk you right?

As long as all the socks are the same I don't mind.

Maybe I'll buy some black ankle socks to throw in the mix to annoy you... :D

[SuperFemme]

You DO realize I threadstalk you right?

As long as all the socks are the same I don't mind.

Maybe I'll buy some black ankle socks to throw in the mix to annoy you... :D

just remember: she can always "accidentally" throw in her red panties. guess what color socks you'll be wearing then? :countpetal:

[WingsOnFire]

You DO realize I threadstalk you right?

As long as all the socks are the same I don't mind.

Maybe I'll buy some black ankle socks to throw in the mix to annoy you... :D
Why yes Sir.... I do realize you threadstalk me... hmmm... (thinks to myself... what mischief can I get myself into on here so that I can get your attention??? :giggle:)...

Since we usually shop together I am not worried.. will just make sure they are ALL the same black socks!!
just remember: she can always "accidentally" throw in her red panties. guess what color socks you'll be wearing then? :countpetal:

good one SF!!! I like that... but...ummmm... I wear his socks too :thinking: so ummm maybe not...

giggling... that was funny...

[Mister Bent]

So i'm ust wondering what you all think on the subject of online relationships and love.

Do you think it's possible to fall in love online?

No.

Just, no.

Don't.

Love is a transient enough whore in the real world.

[Hack]

I think you can grow close to someone. Become quite fond of them, perhaps. But falling in love is something I reserve for an in person encounter. I have only really experienced full-on once in my life. And I can pinpoint the exact moment I really felt it in an unfiltered, pure way.

I recently recounted the story to someone of how I met this particular woman. The responses I get from people when I tell the story range from "that's unbelieveable" to "you have to write a book." I can't imagine I ever will because it is mostly private what happened between us. And that's the way I prefer to keep it...although I admit to a weak moment now and then.

Jake

[SoulSearcher]

Okay I know that I am late on this subject, but better late than never right? Here are my thoughts on the subject of falling in love with someone online.

First of all I do not believe that any of your thoughts are wrong. For a-lot of people, falling in love with someone online or even just having an online relationship is a personal choice. Some people are totally okay with it, while other's aren't; and that's okay.

Now on a more personal note... I do believe that any number of feelings can exist for a person online even the feeling of being IN love. However, you may not always know if it truly is In love, and not just love, like or lust until you meet the person face to face. Two of the main reasons for this are because A. Face to face is always different because not only is there the physical aspect of it all but you also connect in a different way and on a different level. And B. There are some people who sadly are not face to face what they claimed to be online. Some are not even WHO they claimed to be.

There will always be factors that can change any situation in either a positive or negative way. This does not mean that we should limit ourselves, say no to everything or have some long list of things we won't do. Life is about taking chances. There are always going to be some things that work out for us, and some things that don't. Either way, we enjoy things for the moment and we learn and grow from things. If people didn't take chances, then would any of us ever experience love, happiness or even talking to or meeting anyone that touches our life or impacts us in any way?

I have seen many relationship from online work out and last for years; some are still going strong. I have also seen some relationships from online not work out. I believe it is all a matter of whether or not the two people really want it to work and how much time and effort they put into the relationship. No matter what happens, it does not mean that any feeling that two people feel for each other online is not real or should minimized. I think only the two people directly concerned can know what it is they truly feel.

Sorry if I rambled; I really didn't mean to. I just wanted to share my thoughts and I guess on some topics I kind of get off track. LOL.

[Jet]

The thought of a relationship sucks.

[AtLast]

Online, no. With someone unable to experience the world out side of themselves .... absolutely NOT! No one is immune from relationship pain unless they are totally self-absorbed. Consequently, not in my dating pool.

I know people that develop sound relationships from on-line beginnings. But, they end up together in real-time.

LOL... I really don't want to be with computers and phones! Prefer human flesh. But, everyone is different!

[Daktari]

My own personal experience is that no one cannot fall in love on line but there can be a spark ignited that could grow to love. I met my girl (as a result of meeting up with an ex at a Pride event) on the UK Butch-Femme site. Two weeks later after many hugely instant messaging conversations online and finally telephonic ones we met for what was to be a one-night-stand for both of us. 4yrs later we're still doing the 3 and half hour journey too and fro opposite coasts regularly.