The MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary

[Arwen]

The MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary staff is proud to announce the opening of their new offices here on the Planet. As before, please suggest a word or situation that you feel needs defining. The The MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary staff will search the archives, their souls, their shoes' soles, and all other available resources to provide a definition.

Past definitions will be posted here so that you can see how this works. Thank you for your time and attention to our grand opening.

[Arwen]

Threadstalking (Thred stal king) verb origin English from the Latin Stalkere, to watch

1) The act of going into someone's profile and hitting "see all posts by" and reading them. Sometimes compounded by publicly respondind to posts. Other times by sending PM's

Can be a hobby. Can also be a psychotic ex.

[Arwen]

Snarkimosity (snark eh moss it tee) n from the Greek Snarkea to bitch

1) Medical condition found in those who have had it up to here. Often seen in threads that will end up being Peached at some point.

2) A desire to speak one's mind without filter.

See also snarker, snarkee

[Arwen]

Drama Llama (Drah Mah Lah Mah) n originally from Basque, DramadarieanAlpsGoat


1) Beast of burden that causes its rider to wail and shout and gnash their teeth. Repetition can also be seen when riding a Drama Llama

2) Drama Llama poo is useful for making threads flame and Peaches grow.

NOTE: Not recommended for the uninitiated

[Arwen]

Impeach (EM PEECH) aka "OH HOLY HELL I'VE SCREWED THE POOCH ON THIS ONE" n From the Enochian SORRYWONTDOTHATAGAIN

1) To be publicly wrist slapped by She Who Must Be Obeyed. Often occurs just after riding the Drama Llama one too many times. Can be fatal.


Please note: This refers to something that does not happen on this Planet but is here for archival purposes.

[Arwen]

FelinaPolaroidaphile (Fee Line Ah Po' Lah Royd File) n Latin in origin

1) One who can not control the impulse to snap a shot of their .... cat... and post it on the forums

See also, FelinaPolaroidalookeelou

[Arwen]

Dramadery (DRAH-MAH-DAY-REE) noun. A person who can live for months on the psychological angst generated from a single act of drama. Most often recognizable by the single large hump on their back, caused by carrying the weight of the world's abuse and misunderstanding on their poor overburdened shoulders
Clue-By-Four (klew bi fore) n. From the Carpenteria DANGBIGSTICK

1) Object to be applied when all else has failed.

example: "I tried to let hym know I wasn't interested, but I had to use the Clue-By-Four and spell it out for hym."

2) alternative usage; When you suddenly get something you weren't understanding.

See also - lighbulb moment


Original definition by KrystleH

[Arwen]

Diva (Dee vah) n from the Femme DivineWomanAmI

1) A Femme who knows her own worth and is not afraid to speak her mind, her heart and her soul.

2) Sometimes a real pain in the rear but always worth the time.

[Arwen]

Troll (Trole) sometimes n, sometimes v From the Saxon troller, to drag

1) n. A person who goes into a thread specifically to ride the Drama Llama. Usually instantly recognizable by the dromedary hump on their back. Prone to flame-outs and poor me sessions intermittently. Should be avoided at all costs.

example: That troll stirred up everyone with a rumor.

2) v. To cause drama for the sake of causing drama. See negative attention is still attention

example: OffRoadButch called Arwen on her trolling in the "Not a Poodle" thread.

[Arwen]

LURKER (lurh kurh) n From the Latin lurkero, to hide in the shadows

1) a) One who is not confident that their words will be heard.
b) One who fears being ridiculed.
c)One who is shy and may just need to be told where the safe threads are.
d) One who prefers to watch.

example: It is nearly impossible to be a good lurker on the Island Of Dreams


Please note: Island of Dreams is a thread from another site. An Island of Dreams thread does exist on the Planet but is different.

[Arwen]

U haul syndrome (YOU Hawl Sin Drome) n. Medical Term

1) A medical condition that more people need to suffer from. Symptoms include wanting to talk more, needing more time, not rushing into things.

Often conflicts with the NeedAUHaul syndrome.

Often causes rashes and fleas and excessive licking

example: She wanted to move in on the 2nd date which caused my UHaul Syndrome to flare up. The doctor got me some datebegone and I felt better almost immediately

[Arwen]

Banana Boi (bah nan ah boy) proper name AngloUhaulian entymologically

1) He who is tall with a great smile. Protector of femmes who haven't caused his allergies to flare up. All around nice butch.

example: Banana Boi was seen on the Island of Dreams regularly

[Arwen]

Ostracized (oss trah sized) v. from the Amish Ostrichous, to be shunned

1. The act of being shunned by those who think they mean something

example: I was ostracized by the heterosexuals because my butch was better to me than their husbands. SNAP!

Adendum by Ursy: Not to be confused with Austrocized (ozz tro sized)

1. The condition of being planetarily isolated from the majority of b-fers. This unfortunate happenstance often results in the significantly reduced ability to attend b-f events and/or to meet fellow b-fers in real life.

[Arwen]

Tooblunt, (tu blunt) from the vernacular

1) Often used to cramp someone's style, this phrase is used to make someone feel bad about their communication skills. Frequently used with women who have brains and know how to use them.

See Scare tactic

example: Well that Miss Tee is just too blunt. She told me she was in love and didn't want me PMing her with erotic messages. She is just too blunt!

[Arwen]

SOB (sob) n an anacronym for Someone Over Board

1) An individual who is over the top and doesn't stand down even when given every chance in the book.

Alternative, Some Odd Butch

1) An individual of the butch persuasion who exhibits bizarre behaviour that causes femmes to gather in small clusters

[Arwen]

Player (plai ah) n, From the Latin RottenScumous

1) A person who lives by the following rules:

1. Pay her/hym alot of attention up front.
2. Let everyone know you are interested in her/hym.
3. Be jealous and possessive.
4. Do this for about a week maybe two at the most.
5. Stop calling
6. Act as if you don't know her/hym
7. Start at step 1 with another femme/butch

[Arwen]

Badonkadonk (bah donk ah donk) n. From the Butch bodaciousbabealert

1) The nodding movement one of the butch persuaions's head makes when one of the femme persuasion who catches hys eye goes by. Often accompanied by mild drooling and incoherency.

example: gD went badonkadonk when Arwen's dress nearly fell off at the Bash

[Arwen]

FLAME (flayme) n or v From the Latin flamius to light something on fire

1) n. The act of searing someone with your words whether they needed it or not. Often found with the Drama Llama riders and Trolls. Sometimes out of control during Mercury retrogrades. Can be avoided by using the unsubscribe button or the little x in the upper right hand of the browser screen

See Impeach 'cause if you Flame, you are gonna get to know allll about being Peached!

[Arwen]

Loser (loo suhr) n. From the Greek Lossia to give away something good

1) Someone who used to date me.
2) Someone who used to date sweet_oc_grrl
3) An inDUHvidual who thinks they really are all that and talk about themselves until it is time to let you talk about them (kudos to the lovely MountainGirl aka SuperFemme for this funny line!)

[Arwen]

BFP Addict (bee eff pee add dicked) n. from the DusaJackian to do what you loved

1) An individual who just can't get enough finger movement

[Arwen]

Femme Fatale (fim fah tahl) n. from the Latin WhatALookericious

1) An individual of the femme persuasion who can cause individuals of the butch persuasion to walk into walls either physically or verbally. She can accomplish this with what she wears or what she says. Closely associated with badonkadonk since there is no one Femme Fatale flavor according to the butches polled.

example: She was such a femme fatale that none of the butches could speak until she left the room

[Arwen]

Turkish Dates (turh kissh dayts) n. From the Italian HowToSeduceArwen

1) Food item guaranteed to make Arwen swoon over. Succulent, moist plump delicacies to sink my teeth into. See also banana

[Arwen]

Serial Monogamist (see ree ahl mah nah gah mist) n. From the Greek IloveyoutodayYouhurtmetomorrowsonowI'mwiththem

1) An individual of the butch or femme persuasion who doesn't know how to date effectively. Often suffers from NeedAUHaul syndrome. Decides within two dates (or two minutes) if the other person is the next Mr or Ms Right. This person is rarely seen solo in the wild. Seems to have an innate need to BE A COUPLE. A couple of what's is still being decided.

[Arwen]

Datebegone (dayt bee gohn) n. From the French BonneDieuAdiosMotherPhucker -good god good bye

1) A topical spray to be used in the case of severe flare ups of UHaul Syndrome. Use caution around the eyes and genitals as intense shrinkage may occur. Other side effects can be: nausea, headaches and muscle cramps from running the other way

[Arwen]

Eye Candy (I can dee) n. From the BFPVernacular yumminessitis - to enjoy


1) An individual of the butch or femme persuasion who can produce the badonkadonk reaction without even trying. Generally have "what's going on" all together with the junk in their trunk looking mighty fine. Tend to produce reactions like 'whoa' and 'oh my' and 'aren't you a tall drink of water, darlin' '

Can be seen by the unclever as summarily unintelligent because of their outside packaging, but that's why we call those people the unclever.

Eye Candy is sweet to see and dandy to look at but never underestimate what's underneath the pretty wrapping.

[Arwen]

Femmielicious (fim eh lish us) adj From the Spanish CalienteWoza - hotdamn

1) When an individual of the femme persuasion has reached a critical mass of intelligence, wit, charm and looks that causes butches to walk into walls and bounce back to do it all over again.

2) Also used when a particularly cute outfit is seen at the mall by two or more femmes

[Arwen]

Butchtastic (bootch tas tick) adj From the Spanish CalienteWozo - hotdamn

1) When an individual of the butch persuasion has reached a critical mass of intelligence, wit, charm and looks that causes femmes to gather in small groups to discuss him on and offline.

2) Also used when a particularly butch is seen at the mall by two or more femmes

3) Can be grounds for defensible stalking

[Arwen]

A note from the staff here at the MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary. Some stereotypes have been used and possible harmed in these definitions.

PETBFs is working with the staff here at MirriFemme-Webutchster in order to insure the ethical treatment of Butch & Femme stereotypes is adhered to.

If they catch us at it, that is....

[Arwen]

Wrongus Toiletus (Ron gus Toy let us) n. Latin

1) A condition generally afflicting heterosexual women that causes them to stare when an individual of the butch persuasion walks into a women's restroom. Can be cured but the heterosexual needs to have their mind opened. This sometimes requires a crowbar and can be messy. Not recommended for the faint of heart

[Arwen]

Flabbergasted (flab burr gas ted) n. From the Greek WhatTheHellios

1) Act of being so stunned that your mouth (known as the flab to the ancient Greeks and the one down on Colfax) hangs open and flies (known as gasts to the ancient Romans) swoop in.

[Arwen]

Floored (florhd) v. From the Italian tileussmilus

1) When one has been pressed down by one's lover until one's back is cradled by the floor

2) When one has seen something that has caused flabbergasting


3) The thing that comes right after 1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila

[Arwen]

Gallery Whore (gal er ree hohr) n. from the Basque for PictureLottus

1) An individual of the butch or femme persuasion who puts up numerous pictures of themselves. Often there is no discernible difference between photos.

This individual is also characterized by the need to post "NEW PHOTOS IN MY GALLERY" in as many threads as possible.

2) Can also be an individual of the butch or femme persuasion who posts comments on every picture in the BF galleries


3) An individual of the butch or femme persuasion who spends more time perving on, we mean looking at, pictures in the gallery

[Arwen]

whats the word for being totally wrapped around a femmes finger?


Happy and don't you forget it, fella. ;-)

[Arwen]

Sympathy Sponge (sim pah thee spunj) n. from the Andean Pitiosome


1) An individual of the butch or femme persuasion whose posts always start with "I had a bad day" or "My ex was mean to me again" or "No one understand me" or some variation there in.

Can be found in threads with kind people who allow themselves to get sucked dry by said sponge.

Can be very attractive to Drama Llamas and Trolls.

White Knights often champion them as well until their visors are lifted. Use extreme care when lifting visor of White Knight under a SympathySponge Spell. You can get burned.

[Arwen]

Attention Slut (ah ten shun slut) n. From the French DramaMarieAntoinette

1) An individual of the butch or femme persuasion who uses an interesting technique to garner attention. This technique is generally two-fold starting with the bid followed by the apology. Often see in conjunction with a Sympathy Sponge but the two can be mutually exclusive.

The bid is most often a dramatic post with hand wringing and hair pulling and sometimes teeth gnashing. Expect this post to be long -- very long.

The apology follows within five to ten postings by others. It doesn't matter what the responses of these other posts are. As long as they address the bid post, the Attention Slut is happy. The apology post will use phrases like 'I didn't mean', 'I'm sorry I said anything' or 'I had a bad day at work'.

[Arwen]

Ivegottabigego (ive got ta big ee goh) n. Latin HotAirBalloonus

1) Condition where in an individual of the butch or femme persuasion uses gigantuous words in an effort to seem more intelligent than those around them. Condition can be diagnosed by not asking said individual to define words. If they suffer from Ivegottabigego, they will begin to twitch if no one remarks upon their posts.

2) Sometimes referred to as the toddler syndrome

Please see also: fullofmyselfitis

[Arwen]

Fullofmyselfitis (fool ohf mi self eye tis) n. Latin Imbetterthanyouitous

1) Condition where in an individual of the butch or femme persuasion has no concept of their true worth so they must speak of themselves and praise themselves at all times. Often can be found referring to posts they made elsewhere or crossposting them to HelenBack. This condition is often socially fatal and usually incurable.

Please see also: Ivegottabigego

[Arwen]

BetrayalBeeyotchitis (bee tray ahl bee yotch eye tis) n. Latin

1) Evidenced in individuals of the butch or femme persuasion who have low self esteem and need to be most important in someone's life. Generally occurs when someone has to divide their attention.

[Arwen]

YeatsHatesMeoria (yaytz hatz mee oh ree ah) n From the Greek Musephobia

1) A condition that afflicts the eyesight making it impossible to detect bad rhyme and no meter.

2) Persons suffering from this condition could also break into bad verse at any moment. Are known to grab you by the sleeve saying, "Wait. Let me read you one more."

Sometimes referred to as Arweniaitis

[Arwen]

Poetholierthanthou (poh et hoe lee er than thow) n. From Latin Museaholic


1) The feeling that you are the best poet ever and no one else is any good. A condition marked by blindness to other styles of writing and expression. Commonly seen in English majors and Art students

[Arwen]

Barbi-ettes, n. Barh bee etts, from the French "KeepUsClose`"

1. Individuals of the femme persuasion who exhibit plastic behaviors such as sweetness and kindness to any other individual of the femme persuasion within earshot. This immediately devolves into meanness when that same individual of the femme persuastion steps out of range.

2. Exists within individuals of the butch persuasion but known as GoodBuddioso for that group.

[Arwen]

A note from staff at the MirriFemme-Webutchster Dictionary.

We do blush in the warmth of your praise. However, we do try to stick to terms that are not "real" in the sense that we did not make them up. We fear that by defining real community label such as Transensual/TG etc that we might unavoidably cause real harm to someone.

So we are disinclined to acquiesce to any such request. But we do invite you to submit other terms or ideas.

Sincerely,
The Staff

[WolfyOne]

*runs in all happy*
The new place looks great
Love what you've done with it
Happy happy happy that you're finally moved in

I did tell you how happy I was about the move, right?

[BestButchBoy]

Some of these are just too damn funny.

[Daywalker]

Glad you were able to find the craziness.
:dance1:

:daywalker:

[Arwen]

Poltergeist Syndrome (pole ter guyst sin drohm) n. Medical from Latin polter for scary stuff Maynard

1) This syndrome is characterized by a need to preview threads to see if "they're heeeeeeeeere". Individual is usually practicing some type of avoidance technique usually necessary for avoidance of drama, stupidity, drama, ignorance, drama or really dumb people - or any combination there of. Normally found in people of traditionally sound minds who have reached some personal limit. Symptoms can be relieved by judicious use of Ignore feature and topical application of "STFU". STFU should not be applied in public as the fumes can attract Drama Llamas.

[Arwen]

EloquentMusism (el oh kwent muse ism) n. From Latin eloquent speaking out

1) A person who has this condition is easily identifiable. They post and the next 5-10 posts will reflect some of the following comments "I can't rep you yet" "Wow! The system says I have to spread myself around" or "You said what I wanted to say only better". Someone who suffers from EloquentMusism can sometimes also suffer from a rare disability of "DontWannaPedestal" and they will keep falling off if placed too high.

NOTE: This definition refers to an archaic repping system wherein you could only rep someone every 50 times you repped.

I know...barbaric, right?

[Arwen]

PERV (purv) n. from French purve to leer

1) Sometimes, PERV is an anacronym for Person Enjoying Raunchy Views.

2) Can be an individual of the butch or femme persuasion who can not post without some sexual reference on some level. This inability to be clean is not seen as a flaw. Instead, many denizens of the Planet seem to encourage their local PERVs by writing compelling posts and leaving doors wide open for PERVs to come through.

See BananaBoi, DallasLesbian, WolfyOne and Turino for male PERV identification

See RavenStar, AmiYesIAm and Trinity3 for female PERV identification

[Arwen]

Knyght (nite) n. From the Breton to protect and serve

1) An individual of the butch persuasion almost exclusively. Can be identified by a deep desire to do the right thing, protect the femme (not to be confused with the weak for that is a very bad idea as every knight has or will learn), and to right wrongs. A Knyght-afflicted individual may require that all those around hym speak respectfully of and to thos of the femme persuasion. Hy may also make outrageous claims about his own behaviour and then actually live up to it. It is difficult to be a knyght for one must keep one's armor spotless at all times or hy may be set upon by UglyMouthed Homonids. Knyghts, in general, are seen as a very rare breed.

See also, Poser

[Arwen]

Corrupted Femme (kore rupt ted fim) n. From the Persian for naughty naughty girl

1) An individual of the femme persuasion who can not stop from being naughty. She isn't a good girl but she isn't quite a bad girl either. She's basically snow white except she drifted. Mae West is a corrupted Femme. Katherine Hepburn isn't. The corrupted femme can be identified by the signature tattoo that identifies her as **** of the Corrupted Femmes. If you are butch and are cornered by one or more corrupted femmes, save yourself and do as they ask. It will be easier if you comply.

NOTE: Tend to congregate in threads dedicated to bad behaviours.

[Arwen]

Grammar Police (grahm err poh leese) n. from the Lemurian "commascountstupid"

1) An individual of the butch or femme persuasion who has a kneejerk reaction to spelling and grammar. They can be identified by their subtle (and not-so-subtle) corrections of others' posts. This affliction is rarely curable and can attract Drama Llamas. Often Grammar Policians can be found reaching their last straw with Sympathy Sponges who seem to naturally have poor grammar and spelling.

The sad fact is that the Grammar Police often forget that good spelling and proper grammar are like etiquette... learned skills. Not all individuals are blessed with these gifts. The Grammar Police are easily identified by their response to the dyslexic defense. An individual who is truly afflicted with GP will fire back, "I'll buy you a dictionary if you promise to use it." This often requires a Peach or Administratus sighting and it is never good for the Grammar Polician who invokes this occurrence.
Grammar Police afflicted individuals often gather together to stroke their own egos.

NOTE: The author of this dictionary is afflicted with this syndrome. She apologizes because she really can't help herself. Honest.

[Arwen]

Pimp Juice (pimp joose) n. From the Junarian to soak up

1) An esoterical as well as slighty hysterical beverage that is known to make strong femmes weak in the knees. This magical concoction is rendered in a blendered format and administered only under the care of the very brave or the very stupid. That one is still up in the air. It is highly desirable, incredibly expensive, but can be found at bus stations if you are willing to talk to strange men (no, stranger than DUDE) who dress in sharp suits, wide ties and floppy hats.

[Arwen]

Leg Pee'er (lehg pee erh) n. From the Rastafarian JaIsDog

1) Sometimes: An individual of the butch or femme persuasion who has an irrational need to post just after their partner stating that said partner is THEIR partner just in case the entire forum didn't know that the heartline POOPSIE IS MINE matched the heartline I'M HER POOPSIE. Seen in individuals with low self esteem and shaky relationships. When a Leg Pee'er pees repeatedly in the same day, it can be stated with some validity that the relationship is on the way out.

2) Sometimes: An individual of the zombutch:| or zombitch :| persuasion who can not contain their excitement and admiration for another individual of the zombutch:| or zombitch:| persuasion. Seen as a high compliment among the Zombie:| population.

[Arwen]

Hugglehump (huh gull huhmp) v. From the Goofy to Stud Worship

1) To wrap your leg around another individual's leg while moving your buttocks up and down rapidly simulating the act of copulation. Apparently a strange form of greeting among those who EWE might see on the Island late at night. Similar to dogs' sniffing one another's anal glands.

[Arwen]

ShouldaCouldaWoulda (shuh da wuh da cuh da) n. From the German to regret

1) This is a medical condition which can afflict individuals of the butch or femme persuasion. Often accompanies a severe DramaLlamaphobia (fear of Drama Llamas). The affected individual will go to great lengths to avoid attracting Drama Llamas including never posting in public,signing on invisibly or just cruising around as a guest. Often can be found in chat and PM's talking about what they wish they'd had the nerve to say.

Highly curable. Suggestions include type therapy and finding innocuous threads to post on. Growing a spine and developing a thick skin are necessary as well

[Arwen]

I did tell you how happy I was about the move, right?

The staff at the MirriFemme-Webutchster Dictionary is glad to have made you happy.

Some of these are just too damn funny.

The staff at the MirriFemme-Webutchster Dictionary is glad to have made you laugh.

Glad you were able to find the craziness.
:dance1:

:daywalker:




The staff at the MirriFemme-Webutchster Dictionary is glad to have your assistance in this manner.

[Arwen]

ZomButches (zohm boo chess) n. From The Qwockian to be snide

1) An individual of the butch persuasion who is characterized by posting using this face (:|). Can be found almost exclusively in the What Made you :blah: thread.

Zombie wandering is of a concern as Zombies breed like bunnies.

Zombie breeding deserves a :| all its own. Zombie posts show a marked inclination to be about things that make you go hmmm or huh or WTF. Often Baby Jesus is seen crying there. Leg Pee'ing is a common activity as is snarkiness and snideness. Zombutches tend to congregate wherever there are Zombitches.

ZomBitches (zohm bit chess) n. From The Sarongina to be snide

1) An individual of the femme persuasion who is characterized by posting using this face (:|) . Can be found almost exclusively in the What Made you :blah: thread..

Zombitches have more tendency to wander than Zombutches. They also tend to be Rep Whores. As with Zombutches, Zombitches posts show a marked inclination to be about things that make you go hmmm or huh or WTF. Often Baby Jesus is seen crying there. Leg Pee'ing is a common activity as is snarkiness and snideness. Zombitches tend to congregate wherever there are Drama Llamas. It seems to be a national Zombie hobby. The Zombie Tribe once had a Queen. They now wander unruled.

Addendum by JoeCTigger

addendum to above definition....a butch can be a zombitch on occassion and vice versa. The combination of zombu/itch is a shortened form to address most that post in the thread, although some do not enjoy the term at all and prefer to be referenced as y'all...and they will mock you if you post nakedly (without a :| on your post in the Zombie thread.)

[Arwen]

Q: Rep Whore???? Is there a definition

Curious in Texas

A: If you rep me, I'll tell you.....

[Arwen]

Mimiitis (me me eye tiss) n. From the Latin LOOKATMELOOKATMEUS

1) Medical condition marked by "I" and "Me" statements geared towards drawing attention to oneself. Prevalently seen in those with low self-esteem masked as inflated egos. Can be socially fatal. Sufferers have a tendency to tell the same story over and over again unless comments are made. Can be of the Derailer tribe but tends to be solitary. Aloof when approached and can be deadly when called on the behaviour. May exhibits signs of Sympathy Spongism.

[Arwen]

Reputation Whore (rep you tay shun hohr) n. From the Flemish YoureFunnyIAmTooa

1) an individual of the butch or femme persuasion who craves little green balls. Marked by a determination to post fun, witty things so that he or she can gain more little green balls. Can be overbearing in their need for little green balls and may even ask for little green balls. If given the slightest leeway, they will roam about the forums begging for more reputation.

2) alternative, an individual of the butch or femme persuasion who gives little green balls to anyone so that he or she can give little green balls to those he or she really wants to give little green balls. Marked by a frustration with people who post too many fun, witty things so that he or she can only rep them once in a blue moon and not every time. Can be overbearing in their need to remark "I have to spread myself around" or "I'm in rep time out" or "I need to be more of a ho so I can rep you again". Threads have been created to try to help them spread themselves around. Fostering this type of whoring is highly recommended.

[Arwen]

VIAGONG (veye ah gohng)

Generic names: RaiseThePlankam
Brand names: Viagong

Why is Viagong prescribed?

Viagong is used in the treatment of premature gongulation and rigiditisgongitis for short-term relief of these symptoms.

Possible SideEffects: DoubleVision (by Foreigner), Feels Like The Very First Time, Like a Virgin

POPCULTURE EXAMPLE: (the first ad from the Island of Dreams for Viagong)

Hi... My name is Snow... You guys may know Me from the fact I ride that huge steed(a horse ya pervs not a butch) through B-F on My way to hell... What you don't know is pregongulation syndrome... Yes many have suffered from it.... For example Stud... He has taken this..

Viagong...... He now can go through life without having pregongulation..... He now patiently waits with the rest of the butches and his plank well that plank is now pre free...

So remember...

Viagong....


It can make you a better man too....;)

[Arwen]

KyssmyAvataritis (kiss meye av ah tahr eye tiss) n. From the Qwockian to whore avatars

1) A condition that afficts individuals of the femme and butch persuasion causing them to change their avatars more frequently than their underwear. Persons so afflicted can be found on Google Image search throwing up any word that might get them the image they crave. They will pee on your leg for the right avatar.

If you try to feed someone suffering from KyssmyAvataritis, please be aware that the image should be properly sized or you may draw back a bloody stump. And whatever you do, don't use their avatar EVAH. Even if they are not currently using it.

The psychological school of thought is that this ties into MEMEITIS in some fashion but KyssmyAvataritis sufferers have banded together to fight this definition.

[Arwen]

POUNDIFICATE (pown dif eh cayt) v. From the Vulgarian to force it down your throat

1) The act of saying something so forcifully that one's recipient feels like they are choking on one's words. Often accompanied by overuse of the CAPSLOCK key and exclamation point. Normally repeated verbatim if anyone so much as intimates unfamiliarity with the reason for the force in the first place.

[Arwen]

My 2 Cents (meye too sense) n. phrase from the YaddaYadda to pontificate and pull out early

1) A phrase having to do with or indicating an individual of the butch or femme persuasion's inability to stand behind what they say.

Thought to lessen the impact of strong opinions and dogmatic statements. An obligatory offering of information.

Often seen amended with "with inflation, it's my 5 cents worth".

Can be used to negate other's thoughts, feelings and input as well. "Well that's just your 2 cents. Anyone else care to speak now?"

When used judiciously, this phrase can have effect.

When one spreads one's cents anywhere and everywhere, one is often left without sense.

[Arwen]

Eating Of Brains (ee ting ohf brayns) n. from the Zombius to intimidate

1) This practice is found specifically within the Zombie tribe also referred to as Zombutches, Zombitches and collectively, Zombu/itches.

When one encounters the Zombie tribe, one can expect to be stared at but most likely not spoken to. This is the Zombie way.

Should one say something exceptionally witty or intelligent or cause a Zombie to laugh, one is in imminent danger of having one's brains eaten. This consumption of grey matter should be seen as a high compliment as the Zombie tribe only eats that which they like. This is the Zombie way.

Sometimes alternatively seen as a dismissive statement stemming from the idea that to consume someone's brain would not take that long.

Examples of brain eating can be found here (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=698).

[Arwen]

Spreading The Love (spreh ding tha luhv) v. From the Latin Amoremoremorebabyohyeahmore to get some

1) The act of parting the thighs of one's lover in order to create greater access to..... AHEM.

2) The act of telling an individual of the butch or femme persuasion how much you enjoyed something that they said on a thread. This act can be accomplished in a public or private matter.

3) The act of giving someone a little green ball (see Reputation Whoring)

[WolfyOne]

ShouldaCouldaWoulda (shuh da wuh da cuh da) n. From the German to regret

1) This is a medical condition which can afflict individuals of the butch or femme persuasion. Often accompanies a severe DramaLlamaphobia (fear of Drama Llamas). The affected individual will go to great lengths to avoid attracting Drama Llamas including never posting in public,signing on invisibly or just cruising around as a guest. Often can be found in chat and PM's talking about what they wish they'd had the nerve to say.

Highly curable. Suggestions include type therapy and finding innocuous threads to post on. Growing a spine and developing a thick skin are necessary as well




I think you need a BeenThereDoneThat to go with this one :|

[Arwen]

Technophobe (tek noh fohb) n. From the Greek Computerscaremea

1) An individual of the butch or femme persuasion who has an inherent difficulty with basic computer/tv/stereo/dvd type items. Thinks in regular terms and doesn't know the difference between a bit and a byte. Can be identified easily when they try to insert a 5 1/4 disk into a 3.5 slot. Don't even try to hand them a CD-Rom. They will use it as a coaster.

Positive Identification Tips:
1. Do they have a technophile on speeddial
2. Can they spell Linus in their sleep

[Arwen]

Technophile (tek noh file) n. From the Greek ComputersImAWhizzia

1) An individual of the butch or femme persuasion who can coax anything from any computer. Known to have alphabetical indentations on their finger tips from spending inordinate amounts of time on the keyboard (do not confuse with Hottubbian). Technophiles tend to hang out here. There are 4 known grades of technophile.

These are :
• Knowsome
• Knowalot
• Knowitall
• Linus and PapaC

[Arwen]

Car (Kahr) n. From the American GOTTAGOGOTTAGO to motor

1) To an individual of the butch persuasion, a car is a vehicle that must be maintained regularly. Oil should be checked. Gas should never fall below a certain level. The windshield should be washed as well as the body of the car. Tires should be checked. A car can be an extension of the butch hym/herself. Never mock a butch's ride.

2) To an individual of the femme persuasion, a car is a vehicle that must take them shopping, to the clubs and out for coffee. Should it make sputtering, coughing, ticking or any other kind of non-radio noise, it should be ignored until the butch says, "How long has that noise been going on?"

The correct answer is, "What noise?"

All lights should be ignored for a week at least and then plaintively pointed out to the individual of the butch persuasion by saying something similar to "Honey, does that light mean anything?"

Stereotyping may occur. Any offense should be checked at the door. Thank you.

[Arwen]

June2Pencephile (Joon too pents file) n. From the Zombian WHOAWHATSHESAID to emulate

1) An individual of the butch or femme persuasion who wants to grow up to be just like June2Pence who is known for her crankypants postings and June Cleaver admiration.

Can be identified by threadstalking behavior and using Juneisms in sig files. Not thought to be fatal unless it makes June cranky.

Then all bets are off, popcorn is popped and salads are shot.

[Arwen]

Detestapedastlephobia (dee test ah ped eh stahl foh bee ah) n. From the ButchianFemmian to admire


1) The fear that your reputation is getting ahead of you.

Commonly associated with those in the top ten best reputation category.

Can invoke a deep-seated need to say nothing witty or funny or intelligent for fear of attracting the green-ballers.

Sometimes associated with Reputation Whore.

Most often witnessed in PM's to others who are burdened with a large number of little green balls. Non-fatal in most cases. Can be cured immediately with a new profile.

[Arwen]

RideAstridus (rie dah strie duhs) n. From the Harleyian To VroomVroomVrrrroooooooommmmm

1) A medical condition associated with two-wheeled motorized vehicles. Afflicts individuals of the butch and femme persuasion.

Seems to be associated closely with those of the Tribe Dykus Du Bikus.

A fondness for wrapping one's legs around a hot metal cylinder that throbs (not to be confused with sex toys... although there is still some heated debate within the medical community) as well as an overwhelming need to let the asphalt roll out in front of you.

Tends to have symptoms of wanderlust and just plain old lust. A penchant for leather can also accompany this condition.

Consider chronic but not fatal unless grandstanding occurs. Frequently found to incur hearing losses in some varieties of this.

Known varieties include:



HarleyPoundPoundPound
KawasakiCrotchRocketitis
Indianoliosis
Hondadadadadada
Suzukispeedyitis

Sufferers of this condition are easily spotted. Gallery pictures and profiles will make some mention of a bike. Chronic sufferers will have a picture of themselves on their bike in their signature file. They may also refer to their bike with a name such as Baby hence the term "Baby Lover".

[Waldo]

Arwen, honey?

I think it might be time for a new hobby. You worry me.

Funny. But you still worry me.

[Arwen]

Ignoramousrulious (ig no ray mohs roo lee oh sus) n. From the Basque to pretend ignorance of rules

1) This condition afflicts individuals of the butch and of the femme persuasions alike. It is characterized by a type of Tourette's which causes a person to post in a thread after reading one post (sometimes just the title of the thread can trigger this condition). Sufferers do not know how to begin at the beginning to determine what the boundaries of said thread are. They simply read something and respond. Often this incurs the proverbial smackdown by thread regulars who may or may not play well with others.

Said smackdown is often delivered by more than one person which can result in the Ignoramousrulios sufferer's responding in kind. This is never a good idea on the sufferer's part as it only incites the smackerdowners.

Ignoramousrulios has a 100% cure rate when treated appropriately. Often this requires repeated applications of smackdowns on the thread in question and PM's as well. Only the very aware can be completely cured.

Ignoramousrulios is often seen in the ButImANewbie individuals as well as the RuleDon'tApplyToMe type. The first is more easily cured and the second tends to attract Drama Llamas. Caution is urged in the second.

[Arwen]

SMACKDOWN (smak down) n. From the Narnian to correct

1) The act of correcting someone's behaviour in a non-gentle way. Can be delivered by an individual of the butch or femme persuasion.

Is considered extremely necessary by the Smackdowner and extremely unnecessary by the Smackdownee.

This act is best administered in PM for the first application. If necessary, can be followed up by a more stringent smackdown in public. Normally best to back off and let the mods do their job unless you like timeouts.

Often seen in cases of Ignoramousrulious and ZombieNekkidness.

[Arwen]

Fagtastic (fag tass tick) adv. From the QueerEyeian to be like us

1) To be supercalifagilistic without all the extra syllables and incumbent singing. Commonly uttered when the perfect outerwear is found such as a "fagtastic" pair of boots. Seemingly confined to the vocabulary of those of the butch persuasion, but has been seen to cross gender preferences.

Rarely, as an insult, to intimate intimacy with another of one's own gender ID.

[Arwen]

UglyMouthed Homonids (ug lee mouwthed hoe moe nids) n. From the Latin to villify

1) An individual of the butch or femme persuasion with nothing better to do than to talk nasty about others. Characterized by excessive PM's to people they don't know who might be seen chatting to their targets.

These targets are most often individuals who have indicated that the sexual admiration given by the UglyMouthed Homonid is in no way returned. This rejection causes the UglyMouthed to puff up and lash out with rumors and innuendo.

The cure for this is to go to the target individual and verify stories. Most often associated with individuals who suffer from INeedAUHaulitis and IveGottaBigEgo.

Can be a leading cause for Drama Llama and Mod sightings if it goes public. When in PM, if reported, it can cause a much worse visitation from Administratus.

[Arwen]

Pre Gongulation Disorder (pree gon gew lay shun) n. Latin Gongus Interruptus as described by Dr. ChiquitaGot MyBanana, MD


1) A rare disorder found only in males of the Purple Loin Cloth tribe who dwell primarily on the Island of Dreams. This condition is time-sensitive and lasts from 10-40 minutes. Seemingly painful anticipation that comes from long, lengthy hard waits. Can be relieved by stroking a large round disk with any object that come to hand. Elephants, frozen boxers, stilettos and humans have all been used.

NOTE: A relief remedy does exist but you can only get it from Dr. Snow Vixen of the Island. She is a member of the Purple Sarong tribe who seem to gain much pleasure from members of the Purple Loin Cloth tribe being in a continual Pre-Gongulation state.

Seems to be confined to the weekdays around 4pm EST.

Field notes supplied by I Wannabe Oneofthem, PHD.

Fondly dedicated to The Lady Snow

[Arwen]

COCKtail (n) (cohk tale) n. From the Island to party

1) This is a moment in time for some. For others it is a way of life. COCKtail is different from the more common cocktail in that cocktail is merely a drink.
A COCKtail is a way of life. Primarily found on the Island of Dreams , COCKtails are sexual allusions to what happens at night on the Island.

It is a secret code for the removing of sarongs, loincloths and inhibitions. Everyone should have at least one COCKtail moment in their lives.

[Arwen]

Marathon Yap-A-Thon (Mair ah thohn yap ah thohn) n. From the Martian to engage in long intercourse

1) The act of engaging in an unending chat with a good friend. Most often used to describe conversations between two individuals of the femme persuasion. Characterized by phrases such as "Did you hear?" and "Oh my god! Then he said". Seen as a bonding moment by most individuals of the femme persuasion and a moment to be avoided by most individuals of the butch persuasion

Adversely, the act of engaging in an undending spate of MeMeitis where one talks about themselves ad nauseum despite all clues and signs as given by their listener. Can be socially fatal.

[Arwen]

Invisi-font (in vih see fohnt) n. From the Eweian to be witty and not seen


1) This pertains to writing in white font on white background so as not to be seen. First reported in the Ewe Crewe thread but somehow co-opted by the tribe thread and often seen as a marker of random -ness. Can be used to make inDUHviduals feel like they are losing their minds when they are on email notification and see words that are not there when they respond.

Considered to be bait by some Zombu/itches who will leave spaces in their posts but use no invisi-font. This is seen as Zombie taunting and should not be attempted at home. Please leave that to the professionals and the very stupid.

When invisi-font is invoked, it is considered polite to respond with invisi-font. This is etiquette.

Often an emoticon will be used at the end of invisi-font to signal the use of invisi-font. While this seems to preclude the whole idea of writing invisibly, it does save a great deal of clicking and highlighting time which makes Mr Hair happy. Also a marker is a lot of white space followed by punctuation. I'm just saying!

After much ResearchBastard aka He Who Corrects Mistakes research, it was determined then argued that the butches started it. bit came back with the fact that the femmes started it.

EXAMPLE: The true culprits behind this invis-font idea will remain lost in the annals (that's two n's y'all) of history and time.:|

Corrections have been made. Floggings will occur.

[Arwen]

NUMMY (nuh mee) adj. From the Femminian to ogle


1) Someone or something who causes an individual of the butch or femme persuasion to do an internal badonkakonk or wriggly chair dance in delight. Commonly used as a synonym for melicious, delicious and in general WOWZA.

example "My would you look at that hunk o' butch there. Hy's all kinds of nummy."

[Arwen]

Tequilapostanotta (teh kee lah poh stah nah tah) n. From the Cupcakian to regret


1) The act known as drunken posting. Similar to drunken dialing, but widely considered more effective because it can be seen by many and saved for posterity. Where drunken dialing only affects the dialer and dialee (unless the dialee is with friends and uses speaker phone), drunken posting can affect people for months to come.

Individuals of the butch persuasion and the femme persuasion are known to suffer from bouts of Tequilapostanotta. Characterized by a love of one's own words and the assumption that one is the funniest thing going for that ten minutes, this condition is usually temporary.

There have been threads devoted to Tequilapostanotta.. But examples of this syndrome can be found everywhere.

There is a more virulent variety known as CrownRoyalJerkiness that is generally viewed as socially fatal.

No examples are needed at this or any time.

[Arwen]

Bootch Season (boocha see sohn) n. From the DrunkianFemmian to stalk one's prey

1) The time in a femme's life when she declares open hunting on all butches in sight and sound. Butches would be well warned to head for the hills when a femme says this.

If more than one femme states it is bootch season, then all bets are off and any butches not already tagged, bagged or tattooed are considered fair game.

Alcohol is generally involved in this time, but sometimes it is just hormones.

Femmes have been known to bait traps with cleavage, stilettos and baked goods.

Femmes who are in the throes of the bootch season fever should be considered armed and slightly amusing. Generally they are only dangerous to themselves in terms of huge amounts of social embarrassment if they have been posting ala Tequilapostanotta.

[Arwen]

MyEgoIsBiggerThanMyHairitis (meye ee goe ihs beh gar than meye hare eye tis) n. From The Kwanian to presume too much

1) This is a medical condition that is not as rare as it should be. Found in individuals of the butch persuasion as well as in individuals of the femme persuasion. Manifests often as an individual pounding on an imaginary podium and shrieking "LOOK AT ME". (Should not be confused with the Redneckian "Hey y'all, watch this.")

The sufferer normally feels that their input and contributions are not being taken with the seriousness and respect that they deserve. Usually one can alleviate the symptoms by placating them and/or lying to them about their importance.

Please note: It is considered dangerous, unhealthy, and downright stupid to tell a MyEgoIsBiggerThanMyHairitis sufferer that they are, in fact, no better than the average poster. This can result in flamage, drama llamas, fruits or worse.

[Arwen]

Threadhovering (thred huh verh eeng) N. From the ButchFemmiean, to hit refresh repeatedly

1) The state of hitting refresh or F5 or CTR-ALT-F5 to see if anyone has posted anything new. Found in individuals of the butch persuasion as well as the femme persuasion.

Characterized by a noticeable difference of color and/or texture on one's F5 key on the keyboard. Huffing and shoving back from the computer is also common.

Can be excaberated by posting plaintive comments such as "Are you 's ignoring me?" or "Did I kill the thread?" and "Where did everybody go? I've got insomnia."

Not generally fatal but can cause one to be mocked later for untoward paranoia or easily identifiable whines for attention. If done in the wrong threads, this posting style can cause chronic pain from the many feet to one's rump as regulars in the thread boot the poster on their way to the thread's door.

[Arwen]

DontMakeMeSayThisAgainitis (dohn mayk mee say thihs ahgen eye tis) n. From the Kyssmeqwickian to repeat

1) This is a medical condition of posting in a slightly fierce way. Often is a precursor to full blown flames and roaring when ignored. Can be seen in individuals of the butch persuasion as well as individuals of the femme persuasion when faced with repetitive behaviour such as whining or drama stirring. Posts from those show suffer from Sympathy Sponge often cause flare ups of DontMakeMeSayThisAgainitis.

No known cure at this time although the ignore feature, when properly applied, does seem to lessen the symptoms.

[Arwen]

AreTheyStillTalkingAboutMeitis (ahr thay steel tahl keen ah bowt meh eye tis) n. From the Basque MEMEMEMEMEMEME

1) A severe medical condition that causes the sufferer to un-ignore the ignored to see if one's name is mentioned.

Often seen in those who obsessively do searches based on their own name.

This is a severe case of MeMeitis and is absolutely socially fatal if not treated promptly.

Can be cured by the individual (of the butch persuasion or of the femme persuasion)going offline and getting involved in charity work. There seems to be a high correlation between doing something for someone else and the easing of this condition.

In other words, it isn't all about you.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Yanno ArweN

Ya gotta come up with a term for when June is looming over us in the :| with the <@>

:|

[Arwen]

Femmeswattus Interruptus, n. "(Fehm swaht' tuss In terh ruhp' tus) From the Arwenian "to apply correction"

The act of an individual of the butch persuasion designed to prevent, eschew or circumvent a necessary application to his/hys/her head by the hand of an individual of the femme persuasion.

Often seen by other individuals of the butch persuasion as backpedaling or being *ahem* whipped. However, clinical tests have proven that put in the same situation, most individuals of the butch persuasion will default to this act when given the chance.

Test results were slightly skewed when leather bois were introduced.

See also Thunkus Interruptus

[Arwen]

Thunkus Interruptus, n. "(Thunk' khus tuss In terh ruhp' tus) From the Arwenian "to apply more correction"

Similar to Femmeswattus Interruptus.

Primary difference lies in the application and reaction.

Whereas sSwats are applied with the flat of the hand and are quite often not truly detrimental in terms of levels of pain, thunks on the other hand are much more painful since they are commonly applied by the forceful flicking of an acrylic nail (1/2" to 1" in length) to the jugular vein.

Avoidance tactics include:

Agreement
Chocolate
Flowers
and in severe cases, jewelry

[Arwen]

JuneIsHereOhShitHideThePoodle, n. (Joon Is Heer Oh Shit Hide Thuh Pooh Dull) From the Snowyian To Duck And Cover

This noun describes a condition characterized by overuse of the delete key, invisifont and ass-kissing. Often occurs when an individual of the butch persuasion or an individual of the femme persuasion is trying to ride the DramaLlama's Mama without a license.

This condition can flare up, over and out when )@( is hauled out. This )@( symbol can cause brave zombu/itches and other Planeteers to quiver in their well-earned Redwing boots.

This condition can be avoided by judicious amounts of self-responsibility combined with a working private email system.

From personal experience, it is not recommended to rep the originator of this condition with pretzels. She bites. :|

[Arwen]

FrillyDilly Femme, n (free lee dee lee fehm) From the Basque "to sparkle"

This is an individual of the feminine persuasion who is given to saying things like "fiddle dee dee" and "ooh shiny." She can often be found in groups of three or more femmes at places like Tiffany's and Cartiers and Sephora's.

Her hair is consistently longer than shoulder-length and her heels are at least 2" high. Preferred colors tend to be bright and vivid jewel tones or light and sweet pastels.

This Femme can be very dangerous if denied bows, ribbons and polish. Please do not attempt to remove shopping bags from this Femme without permission.

Has been known to use hair ribbon as garrotes and high heels as knives in the backs.

Can be wooed with comments like "Did you do something new to your hair" and "Can I buy you something sparkly?"

Information taken from "Field Guide To Femmes: What To Wear"

[Arwen]

DaddyJune, n (dahd dee jewn) Latin PapaFemmicus

This is an individual of the highest renown. A DaddyJune is a clever, articulate, attractive individual of the femme persuasion who inspires other individuals of the femme and of the butch persuasion to want her so much that they insist on referring to her as Daddy. Daddy, of course, is a moniker usually applied to certain types of individuals of the butch and of the femme persuasion.

To be a DaddyJune, you must be able to wear pants while sporting a French pedicure while reading the latest feminist manifesto. High intelligence is mandated for all DaddyJunes. Also a tendency to :| at the drop of a hat is noted in the DaddyJune species.

DaddyJunes are extremely rare and should be approached with caution.

Under no circumstances should one call a DaddyJune Daddy unless certain social inroads have been traversed. DaddyJunes are also known for their scathing sarcasm and ability to flay the unwise with one sentence.

In all of our lives, we have only met one DaddyJune and this one seemed to have an interest in rhumba panties, invisifont, and femmes with :farmchicken:. More research is under way.

Originally defined c. 2008. Some changes made 2010

[Arwen]

Goofytime, n (goo fee tie em) Greek [Whaddayameanitsnoonicus]

This is a standard of time known to a portion of our community. It is indicative of one of the butch persuasion who sleeps in and considers morning that moment when his eyes open.

This does not matter if it is 1pm and people are waiting for a promised Goofy Breakfast.

Goofytime seems to only occur on weekends and non-work days. But it is not recommended to try to reset Goofytime by waking the individual of the butch persuasion up. This only causes something similar to a zombie sleepwalking and can be met with mild to moderate grunting and grumbling.

If you find yourself in Goofytime, the best thing is to fix yourself a bite to eat, turn on the TV and wait. Eventually the clock will reset itself to regular time.

[tuffboi29]

I would like to place an order for this dictionary.Do i need a PayPal account?

[Arwen]

I would like to place an order for this dictionary.Do i need a PayPal account?

There is no hard copy yet but you can send the staff money. It may or may not keep your name out of forthcoming definitions.

[Arwen]

Femmezilla, n (fehm zill ah) From the Butchese "DEARGODHERESHECOMESAGAINIS"

This is an individual always of the femme persuasion who is terminally single. She can be found in every singles thread and some couples thread.

Unlike the individual of the femme persuasion who engages in some occasional BOOOTCH HUNTING, this individual of the femme persuasion is in perpetual heat. Her main hunting grounds are the aforementioned singles threads, but she can also be found in the Welcome threads where she only welcomes new individuals of the butch persuasion.

Every post from her is somehow sexual in nature and she is put out if no one responds in kind. Often has overtly sexual pictures for her avatar and signature picture.

This individual of the femme persuasion often simpers and flirts even when it's been made clear to her that there is no interest. Femmezillas think that given enough time, any individual of the butch persuasion will fall just like Tokyo.

And do not be anywhere near her when her current fixation becomes "off the market". Like her namesake, Femmezilla shoots flame out of her mouth and lightning out of her.. ahem... tail.

Femmezillas take advantage of any situation. If in a car, they will scootch over so that they are as close to the nearest available individual of the butch persuasion. If at a houseparty, they will create situations for couch snuggling, spooning, and other intimate moments.

Femmezillas do not take hints. They do not even take 2x4's over the head. They think other individuals of the femme persuasion who tell them to "chill out" or "give it(him) a rest" are just after the butch they want. Keep in mind that the individual of the butch persuasion this femme monster wants is the nearest single breathing fellow.

If pursued by a Femmezilla, the best choices are to latch on to a nearby individual of the femme persuasion. Tell her the scenario and then pretend to, as they say in Harry Potter, snog that individual of the femme persuasion.

Do note that this can place the camoflage femme in extreme danger. Try to choose an individual of the femme persuasion who has no problems educating other femmes of what's appropriate and not appropriate.

In conclusion, do try to stay off the radar of the Femmezillas. They can and do travel in packs but will readily back stab and backbite any and all other individuals of the femme persuasion.

[Arwen]

Butchasaurus Rex, n (bootch ah sore ahs recks) From the Femmenese "SOMEONENEEDSACLUEBYFOURITICUS"

This is an individual always of the butch persuasion who is terminally single. He can be found in every singles thread and some couples thread. This individual of the butch persuasion will hand out hugs and kisses and flowers to every single individual of the femme persuasion who so much as smiles at him.

Testosterone flares and posturing are evident when around other individuals of the butch persuasion. This is exhibited in defending individuals of the femme persuasion from "uncouth" or "boorish" remarks.

Please note that the individual of the femme persuasion isn't the one making this call. This is always at the Butchasaurus Rex's opinion.

This individual of the butch persuasion often uses chivalry and gallantry as shields to hide behind. When told point blank that his attentions are unwanted, he will say things like "Aw shucks, I'm nice to all the femmes. It's just who I am" or "Well if you only want a bad boy I guess I'll have to back down."

He will then badmouth the individual of the femme persuasion and make it seem as if she were pursuing him and he had to tell her to back off. As with the Femmezilla, do not be anywhere near him when his current fixation becomes "off the market". Much roaring and screaming and waving of tiny arms will occur.

The Butchasaurus Rex is a strange creature. He may only come on strong in PM's or IM's and seem casual and distant in threads. He will take advantage of situations to get the individual of the femme persuasioh by herself however and should not be trusted. Desperation is a sure-fire sign that you may be under the gaze of a Butchasaurus Rex.

In conclusion, do try to stay off the radar of the Butchasaurus Rex. They can be as vindictive as their Femmezilla counterparts and will tell tales out of school to other individuals of the butch persuasion.

Unlike the Femmezilla, these monsters of the butch persuasion are not prone to traveling in packs.

[Arwen]

Butchimodo, n (bootch ee moe doe) From The Samoan To Strut Like A Shark In Heat

The Butchimodo is a variety of butch rarely noticed in cyber. However they can be found. Their natural habitat is the bar and back alley where they have the room to ply their skills.

Often found wearing tight jeans and boots, the Butchimodo has a confident air about her or him that many varieties of Individuals of the femmes persuasion (and some individuals of the GenderQueerTrannyFag bois/girl persuasion) find very attractive.

Not known for their loudness or over eagerness, they are easily spotted by the sound of their heel hitting the floor. This accompanied by the neat cracking of the crease in their 501's (sometimes Dockers) immediately identifies them as prime Butchimodo candidates.

Individuals of the femmes persuasion should take note that most good Butchimodos are either married or poly so if you want one of your very own, you must employ a steadiness of heart and a patience of will. There are enough to go around. You just may have to wait for the next Butchimodo to spot you.

Commonly found near non-drama water holes.

Sometimes mistakenly called Butchiquasimodo, but that is a far different creature whose hump always gives his evil intentions away.

Adversely opposed to Femmezillas and Butchasaurus Rexes.

Fondly dedicated to the first Butchimodo the staff at MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary ever met, Lonnie.

[Arwen]

IceacreamiaTelephobia, n. (Eyes ah kreem ee ah foe bee ah), from Latin "Sweet and Creamy Tempting"

This is the fear that when you answer the phone, your friends will be breaking Femme Rule #33 by calling you from an ice cream parlor when you are not there with them. This fear can cause phone screening. A person trying to get over this fear can often be seen drooling while talking on the phone. Sometimes you will see them talking, drooling AND driving as they hurry to the nearest ice cream place to soothe their sudden craving for "Cake Batter" ice cream. Most often seen in individuals of the femme persuasion.

This definition is fondly dedicated to Clover and Byte Me.

[Arwen]

Revolv-a-Loveritis (ree vohl vah luff err eye tis) N. From The Greek (KItsbeentwoweeksnextiticus)

This medical condition seems to affect both individuals of the butch and of the femme persuasion. Can be often researched by reading threads where there are two weeks or two months of "I love you" "No I love you more" posts followed by a deathly silence then a similar posting between one of the previous set and someone new. User notes can also be used to reveal this condition.

Sometimes confused with the RubberBandBetweenUsism, but that condition exists only between two people who break up, get back together, break up, ad ifinitum.

This is a completely curable condition, but it can take a very long time as Revolv-a-Loveritis, as the APA has recently announced, is more appropriately an addiction with roots in CantBeAlonus and SingleScaresMeism. Because of this, psychiatrists recommend group talk therapy, twelve step groups such as Swivelnecks Anonymous and turning the computer off.

Do take note that this IS a serious condition and should NOT be approached by non-professionals. This condition requires years of research. Many of those who are recovering Revolv-a-Loveritis sufferers have a kneejerk reaction when in the presence of those silent sufferers or still in denial. This can, if unchecked, cause Drama Llamas and multiple fruit sightings.

One sure way to check is to see if the individual carries a U-Haul or other moving company credit card or has friends with trucks who automatically say, rather than hello, no I won't help you move.

SYNONYMS: Swivelnecks, UHaulaphiles, Nextians

[Arwen]

Maggie (Steh la) n. From the Williamson "To Stand On A Hot Metal Exterior Cover"

This is an individual of the femme persuasion. Easily identified by her outer wear (skinfitting black pedal pushers and white blouses so tight the top three buttons can NOT be buttoned), this individual of the femme persuasion has been known to have the morals of a cat in heat. She is a very restless kind of woman. The kind who has been associated with a feline on a more than warm metal building top in fact.

The Maggies of the world wrap those individuals of a butch persuasion around their little finger faster than you can say, "Big Daddy please." And when she decides she is done with an individual of the butch persuasion, her ending of that relationship can cause even the most stable individuals of the butch persuasion to drink a bit and reminisce about the good ol' days.

Non-Maggie individuals of the femme persuasion often refer to Maggies in the most scathing of tones implying many things including fast and loose women who go down easy and come up swinging. Interestingly enough, the individuals of the butch persuasion do not see much wrong with the Maggies unless they've been cut loose by one.

Sadly, many Maggies do end up with brutish clods for partners. It is one of the downfalls of being a Maggie. Lying is also a Maggie trait but it's only to protect those she loves--herself.

The staff used that the wrong play in the original definition. It has been rectified in this edition.

[Ebon]

Threadstalking (Thred stal king) verb origin English from the Latin Stalkere, to watch

1) The act of going into someone's profile and hitting "see all posts by" and reading them. Sometimes compounded by publicly respondind to posts. Other times by sending PM's

Can be a hobby. Can also be a psychotic ex.

Thanks for telling me how to do this. muahahaha

[Arwen]

CFM (Cee Eff Emm) acronym from the Femmenese "To Make Him Sweat"

The acronym, CFM, stands for Come Fuck Me which alludes to the badonkadonk nature of this clothing item. Individuals of the femme persuasion who know the effect of this particular shoe are known by the sway of their hips.

CFM's are a piece of essential clothing for individuals of the femme persuasion. Some individuals of the butch persuasion have admitted to this staff member that CFM's are essential for them as well only not on their own foot.

Simply put, a CFM is a shoe with a heel. But there is more, so much more, that goes into classifying a shoe as a CFM. The heel must be over 2.5" in height. The body of the shoe needs to point and arch the foot in a "ouch that's got to hurt" manner and straps are a good thing in CFM's.

Many individuals of the butch persuasion try to evince invulnerability to the CFM, but often give themselves away by the glazed look in their eye along with the drooling.

Other names for CFM's are "Jesus shoes" as in "throw your legs up to Jesus" and "Sweet Holy Mother Of God" which is often what the individual of the butch persuasion will say when he sees an individual of the femme persuasion in 5" stiletto heels coming towards him.

[Arwen]

Thingie (thengh ee) n. From Basque "obscure"

A thingie is not, as some dear individuals of the butch persuasion seem to believe, a non-item. Thingies are very real.

Thingies are a bit confusing if you are not an individual of the femme persuasion because thingies change.

Often an individual of the femme persuasion is presented with an unfamiliar term such as socket wrench or monkey wrench or phillips head wrench. This causes a misfire in the brain of the individual of the femme persuasion called a "replaceiotis".

This misfire removes all unfamiliar terms and replaces it with the comfort zone word, thingie.

Hence, "Honey hand me that crescent wrench" is better phrased "Honey, hand me that thingy that has the moon thingie on the end." Those individuals of the butch persuasion who comprehend this replacement misfire will find themselves getting exactly what they want.

Now then, when an individual of the butch persuasion is asked, "Sweetheart, have you seen that thingy I need for my hair?" the correct response is, "Baby, your hair looks just fine."

Should the individual of the butch persuasion suspect in any way that the individual of the femme persuasion might be riding the pony soon, the only correct answer is, "Can I get you a glass of wine and some chocolate?"

Any attempts to decipher exactly what thingie the individual of the femme persuasion is seeking at that point could result in the butch losing something he is very attached to--permanently or strapped on.

Note: Stereotypes have been employed to mock. If you are not able to laugh at yourself, please go bye-bye,thanks and have a nice day.

[Arwen]

Whatchit (wah chit) n. From Butchesque "man scan"

A whatchit is not, as some dear individuals of the femme persuasion seem to believe, a non-item. Whatchits are very real. Whatchits have legs and can get up and move around.

When an individual of the butch persuasion stands in the doorway of any given room and looks from the left side to the right side (or the right side to the left side) in 15 seconds or less and says, "Babe? I can't find the whatchit" the individual of the femme persuasion is urged not to roll her eyes. Instead, the individual of the femme persuasion should gently ask, "Where else have you not looked, dear?"

Asking the individual of the butch persuasion to describe said whatchit is a waste of time for the individual of the femme persuasion or the best butch buddy. That answer always sounds something similar to "You know... about this big and you use it to open/close/find/remove/fix things."

:| is also not a recommended facial expression.

Note: Stereotypes have been employed to mock. If you are not able to laugh at yourself, please go bye-bye,thanks and have a nice day.

[Arwen]

Isthatawordaphobia (n. "iz thaht ah werd ah foe bee ah") from the Zombian "to look it up"


Medical term describing the fear that someone has not misspelled a word but has used a word you actually don't know.

Often seen in Mensa-types and Mensa-wannabes.

Often those who suffer from this disorder can be seen hitting their frequently used shortcut to dictionary.com or pushing back from their desk to grab the nearest dictionary.

Someone with this disease often ends up making up dictionary definitions that suit some alternative universe they live in. This is to fend off the feelings of disappointment when they find a great word that isn't really a word.

See Also: FantasyWorlditis

[Arwen]

FlouncenBounce v. (French - Hisse'exite')

Verb usage: To fling one's self from a room or a thread. Generally seen in those who suffer from Dramaticusexitus. Often noted when passions are running high and a person of the Femme or Butch persuasion feels that they are being either ignored or (worse) not agreed with.

Example: Arwen flouncenbounced her ass right out of the thread "Poodles--better off dead". Seems she wanted everyone to see how wrong they were and how right she was.

Normally this event occurs with a great deal of drama concealed as restraint.

Example: Well, I would tell you what I really think but that might get me fruited so I am just going to unsubscribe from this thread.

Common responses to this are:

"Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya."
"Watch out for that doorknob."

Often creates a dichotomy of resentment vs sympathy.

A most common side effect is the Revolving Door Flouncenbounce. This is where the person of the Femme or Butch persuasion announces they are leaving and then comes back.

Failed flouncenbouncing is rampant on some threads and should be seen as a possible medical disorder such as CantLeaveItAlonus.

[tuffboi29]

So donating money to the dictionary cause may or may not keep me from being described in it?What if I bribed the arthor with chocolate and a bottle of finely aged red wine?



*slips the arthor :wine: with a bar o' :chocolate: *

*whispers* We can keep this between us...I won't tell if you won't. :flowers:

[Arwen]

So donating money to the dictionary cause may or may not keep me from being described in it?What if I bribed the arthor with chocolate and a bottle of finely aged red wine?



*slips the arthor :wine: with a bar o' :chocolate: *

*whispers* We can keep this between us...I won't tell if you won't. :flowers:

Dear Briber,

While the staff here as the MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary does appreciate the gifts, we must maintain our stance that all are subject to being lampooned.

Hopefully, when one does find oneself in a definition, one will be in the plus category rather than the minus.

As they say, Defined is as Defined does...

Cordially Yours,

The Staff of the MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary

[Arwen]

Whatzhyzname/Whatzhername Medical Condition (from the Amnesiac -- Non memorabliam)

This cry can be heard from individuals of the Butch persuasion as well as those individuals of the femme persuasion. Often found in a certain age category, this is the call of the terminally forgetful.

Frequently this hits certain individuals of the Butch persuasion in the Home Depot or at the ballpark while those individuals of the femme persuasion seem to suffer more often at the grocery store or the MAC counter.

A certain look steals across one's face when this affliction strikes. They are out and about. Someone walks up to them cheerfully calling them by name. They even ask them about their partner/cat/dog/bootblack.

There could be an aroma of smoke or even a small plume of white rising from the back of the cranial protection as the gears start spinning in a mad effort to recapture the name of the person in front of them.

A kind person, recognizing this problem, would immediately stick their hand out and say, "Hi! Do you remember me? I'm __________" thereby eliminating the grey matter overload occurring in front of them.

However, there is a sadistic variety of person who will stand there continuing to talk knowing that this person has no clue who they are.

The sadistic type will ask the sufferer about their partner by name. They will inquire after each pet and child also by name. They may even offer condolences for a co-worker's dead plant. With each comment, their infernal glee is fed by the look of "deer in the headlights" as the Whatzhyzname/Whatzhername sufferer goes deeper and deeper into the cobwebbed filled corners of their mind.

The staff at MirriFemme-Webutchster's New BFP Dictionary would like to encourage everyone to be kind to those older or more forgetful. Otherwise, karma is gonna suck when you get there.

[Arwen]

Unnecessarybumpitis, Medical term (from the Greek GottaPokeTheBearious)

This condition occurs mainly in those who feel ignored or slighted in some way. These sufferers are unique in that they like attention. One of the ways they seek this attention is to do what is known as bumping a thread.

Bumping A Thread is when one (either an individual of the butch persuasion or an individual of the femme persuasion) posts in a thread simply to bring it to the top of the front page and/or the attention of previous posters.

It is thought that those who like to bump threads also like to poke people who are meditating or napping. Some field researchers say those who suffer from Unnecessarybumpitis also have been seen to sneak up behind sleeping felines and yell "BOO."

No known cure at this time but some efficacy has been noted by gently playing along with these unfortunate enough to suffer from chronic Unnecessarybumpitis.

No examples are necessary at this time.

[tuffboi29]

Whereas I now realize I can't possibly bribe the staff...I would like to post a request for the finished product of the Dictionary.
I have waited unpatientiently long enough.

Thank you,
The Briber

[Arwen]

The staff need inspiration. Words? Terms?

[Arwen]

I feel an itch to define something. :D Anyone want to play?