If You Could Turn Back Time, What Would You Do Differently?

[Scorp]

Hi Folks,

I thought this would be a good thread to start.

As the title states, If you could turn back time (and no I won't be busting out in any Cher song) what would you have done differently?

I would have to say, that I would have never EVER gotten involved long distance with a straight woman which was over 12 years ago. She was my first love and it was my first real experience with another woman. We did the long distance thing for 4 years and I was determined to be with this person.

She made many, many broken promises to me over the course of those years, it became complicated beyond words. We began arguing a lot and things just weren't working out, but neither one of us wanted to let go. I know she loved me very much, and I her, but it had to end. I was so consumed with the relationship and determined to make it work, but at the same time, I felt like I started to lose sight of myself and everything around me.

Finally one day I said no more. It was a emotionally draining and I think I hung in there more than I should have. I ended it and I was so heartbroken, but it was actually for the best, for both our sakes.

The strange thing is, I vowed I would never be involved in a long distance relationship ever again. Then one day, I met a pretty, intelligent, gentle, caring Minnesotan femme who I fell head over heels for. It's true what they say about opposites attract. Boy are we ever different, but we balance each other out so well. It's a nice mix ;)

We have been together now for 8 years and the rest is history.... :stillheart::stillheart::stillheart:

[apretty]

I'd take back those words that hurt you; If could reach the stars I'd give them all to you then you'd love me, love me! Like you used to do.





http://www.tvparty.com/bgifs6/cher2.jpg


no cher?!

[Scorp]

(clapping) Very good...And this one's for you:

mEszTzdUMcY


I'd take back those words that hurt you; If could reach the stars I'd give them all to you then you'd love me, love me! Like you used to do.


http://www.tvparty.com/bgifs6/cher2.jpg


no cher?!

[Rockinonahigh]

Oh gosh if I could turn back the hands of time I would do several things diffrently.One I wouldnt have gottem married at 18..I almost walked out of the church when mom caught me and said....I spent all this money,u arent walking out on this..I should have kept on walking.Big mistake.
Corse I would have come out way sooner than I did...famos words of many.
I also would have been more chosey who I dated,but I learned many things about life from it.

[lyric]

Oh, so many things...

I would have studied more in high school. I also would not have sacrificed one entire semester in college in favor of the party scene. One semester of nothing but drunken fuckery was not worth the 5 F's on my transcript and is causing me stress as I apply for a new job and work on a change in grad school plans.

I wouldn't have gotten married right after college. We thought it was a great idea because we were both gay, and we were both two kids from the country too scared of disappointing our families. Bad idea!

I wouldn't have wasted so many years worrying about my father's opinion.

I would have told my grandfather how much he meant to me before he died.

I would not have eaten those shrimp at the chinese buffet. :/

[Strappie]

I would not of let my partner cheat on me 4 times and gave up 12 yrs of my life. But I guess I did learn from it. Once a cheater always a cheater.

[lyric]

I would not of let my partner cheat on me 4 times and gave up 12 yrs of my life. But I guess I did learn from it. Once a cheater always a cheater.

Oh yeah... THAT too! LOL

Btw... Strappiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

[Spirit Dancer]

I would never take one minute of life for granted.

[Soft*Silver]

I would not have given up my job and home in PA...both times

I would have talked more to my brother...it might have stopped him before he killed himself

I would have been kinder and more attentive to Mrs Rogers who lived downstairs from me and was in a wheelchair

I would have gone out to see my mom when she called me and asked me to, on the day she died

I would have gone on for my PhD in anthropology like I wanted to

[Bella~Vita]

I wish we could in a way turn back time. For me , I would have furthered my education and been more career orientated instead of looking for love. Geesh how dishearting , but my lessons were learn. However, all the lifes experiences made me a better woman. And I thank God for that. For showing me I had love all the time ...

[BornBronson]

I was a Hollywood runaway rape victim at age 11.That turned me into the person that I became for the next 30 years of my life...it was not a nice person.I couldn't see how wrong my life style was until just recently.I was a brute,a monster,especially to the female race.Some of you experienced that side of me personally.I'm sorry.

Of course there's no turning back time.

I'm much nicer these days,trust me.

[atomiczombie]

There are too many things to count for me. Really. I live with a lot of regret. At this point in my life, if I could change one thing, it would be not telling someone that I loved them when it would have really counted. Now it's too late. Never let fear stop you from telling someone that you have feelings for them. I don't regret the chances I took, only the ones I didn't.

[Miss Scarlett]

I know this sounds self-serving but with all the lumps, bumps and bruises I have from living life over the last 50 years I don't think I would change anything. Even the really, really bad stuff because it made me who I am now.

Though I would have bought those shoes...:blueheels:

But seriously if I could go back I would ask that I not go back to high school or junior high. Even with what I know now, once was more than enough.

[Oiler41]

A few things (assuming I knew then what I know now),,

I wouldn't have left my mother, career and home in Mississippi when I did. Huge life-altering mistake on several fronts.

I would have finished my education the first time around instead of waiting until I was 40. I eventually did finish a master's degree but it would have been better had I done it sooner.

I would have asked my mom more questions about so many things. I didn't realize how many questions I had until I couldn't ask them.

I would have purchased flood insurance on my home in Mississippi before hurricane Katrina. 4.5 feet of water; enough said.

I would have spent more time talking with my brother before his passing in 1979. I was only 17 when he committed suicide but I think there were more things I could have learned from him had I known what was to come.

Only a few things. I've learned a great many lessons along the way in this life; some of them are harder to think about than others but overall, I live with few regrets and apply lessons I've learned along the way as I go forward in life. Great topic for a thread!

Glynn

[Scorp]

Hey Folks,

Thanks for sharing your stories. I think you're all pretty special with sharing some intimate stories about yourselves and what you would have done differently and I appreciate that.

Keep your posts coming. I'm enjoying reading them as I'm sure the next person is as well.

Be well.

[chefhmboyrd]

started T at 20
learned to play more instruments
had more sex...... (if that is possible)
scheduled more vacation with my family
drank less
never smoked
worked out more
recorded more songs

that is all for now

[Apocalipstic]

If I turned back time I would have to live the bad parts over, can't do it.

[Fancy]

“Regret for time wasted can become a power for good in the time that remains, if we will only stop the waste and the idle, useless regretting.”
~Arthur Brisbane

I would not turn back time. Everything in the past happened for a purpose, and changing variables would not create the same learning, the same experience, or the same bonds. If there are regrets, they are only in the mind. Mental torture and mental suicide. Instead, I choose to embrace acceptance for the balance and thankful for all experiences however they are perceived by me. I've experienced and continue to experience love, life, and hard lessons, and am grateful for each and every second that I can continue to grow and move forward in this wild chaotic ride of a short life on Earth.

“We do not live an equal life, but one of contrasts and patchwork; now a little joy, then a sorrow, now a sin, then a generous or brave action.”
~Emerson

[Gemme]

If you went back in time, it would be nearly impossible not to change something, whether that was your intent or not. So, for those afraid or leary of reliving some rough times, those times may not happen in that circumstance or they may happen differently. It would be adding chapters to your life that you were previously unaware of.

I think I would like to go back as long as I went back with one single thought seared into my brain: trust my instincts. As long as I had that in my head and remembered it when I needed to, I think I would be a similarly different person. I'd still be the same at my core, but referential experiences would be different.

Then again, I've always been a sucker for those adventure books that you can choose where the story is going to go next and, if you didn't like that, you could just go back to that page and choose another option. I like options. I've felt that, in large quantities of my life, I had none. So getting a redo and possibly having some is quite appealing to me.

[WolfyOne]

Personally I wouldn't turn back time to change a thing
Whatever happened then is my past and many lessons learned
If I was always able to turn back time, I'd never make a mistake
How the heck would I learn anything without mistakes
I have few regrets with many mistakes along the way
Life is one big lesson in learning and I'm still doing it today
I'm thankful for all those people, places and things that have touched me over time

I will however enjoy reading what others would have done if they could go back in time for a redo

[Rockinonahigh]

One thing I should have done in the past is take better care of me insted of busting my ass doing things for ppl who didnt appresheate it.Over the years I have given so many ppl in my life slack when they did things that were not good for me cause I was a ppl pleaser insted of seeing them for who and what they were befor it was to late...this caused me no end of self dislike for being such a push over.Now im a lot more careful and not as trusting as I once was...I really hate that I have lost a lot of trust I once had of ppl's objectives.I would like to think I can still trust folks and I do in reality its just I wonder when I let ppl into my life if they are going to use me for whatever thay want then..im nothing but an object to get the place they want to be or get.I hope that made some sence,well I did to me anyway..

[MrSunshine]

There was a time I would (I even had that as a wish in my profile) but now, no way. I wouldn't want to take the chance of having to re-live some of the shit I've lived through. Once was more than enough.

[chefhottie25]

I wouldn't do anything different. It has been a crazy ride and a beautiful journey. I needed to take them both to grow.

[Leigh]

There are a couple of things that I would have done differently, but right now I think that I was meant to do things as they were and it has moulded Me into the person that I am today :thumbsup:

[sweetfemme247]

There are a couple of things that I would have done differently, but right now I think that I was meant to do things as they were and it has moulded Me into the person that I am today :thumbsup:

I could think of a couple things you could of done differently

[Leigh]

I could think of a couple things you could of done differently


Yes I agree I could have and I wanted to, but there's nothing I can do about that now right? Its in the past and I cant change that

[sweetfemme247]

Yes I agree I could have and I wanted to, but there's nothing I can do about that now right? Its in the past and I cant change that

i was only teasing no need to get defensive

[Jesse]

If anything at all, I would have learned certain lessons the first time rather than having to experience repeated performances.

[sweetfemme247]

if i could change something from the past it would be not give people so many chances when it comes to love and dont trust to many people with my feelings and life............ nothing I can change now, I have made alot of friends and also came across alot of people who are full of drama and love to just sit and gossip about everyone and everything.

[Lynn]

I wish I had sought the help of career advisors at important junctures in my life. I became a social worker because I wanted to help people, but also because it seemed like the easiest route to a career. Well, it was. But, now that I'm older and really interested in growing, professionally, I am finding it financially impossible to go back to school. I wish I had become a lawyer. I could have helped people, been intellectually challenged, and actually have made a decent living. It does get tiring when I have to worry about paying the bills every single month.

Otherwise, I'm pretty happy with the way things have turned out. If I had made other decisions, I might not have the joys of my children, my home, and my relationship.

[Soft*Silver]

I would not have been sitting at that red light when the semi hit my car

I would not have drank Nov 11 2008

I would have moved to a warmer state but one that still had fall

I would have had one or two more children

I would have gone on for my PhD

[ruthie14]

I would have gotten a bachelors degree instead of an assoiciates.

I would have tried to have a child earlier.. maybe then I could have had one of my own.

I would have come out a lot earlier had I known.

I would not trust so easily, forgive so readily, or take crap from anyone for who I am.

Woulda shoulda coulda .... gets me no where

[ravfem]

i'd go back to March 9, which is "Get Over It (http://www.getoveritday.com/)" Day so i could go round tellin
everybody to just get over it already! (starting with myself)

:nixon:

[BornBronson]

I was a Hollywood runaway rape victim at age 11.That turned me into the person that I became for the next 30 years of my life...it was not a nice person.I couldn't see how wrong my life style was until just recently.I was a brute,a monster,especially to the female race.Some of you experienced that side of me personally.I'm sorry.

Of course there's no turning back time.

I'm much nicer these days,trust me.

In other words I would of never ran away to Hollywood.
I hate that town.*snort*

Thanks for all your feedback.

[Boots13]

Oh yeah, without a doubt
I definitely would have

lifted with my legs !

My back is killiing me.
:hospital-snoopy:


I'm really serious about this...

[Venus007]

I would have taken all that money I spent on booze and drugs in my wild, wild youth and invested it, I could have been retired by now.

[Words]

I wouldn't have left home at 16.

I would have done it sooner.

[NJFemmie]

There are things I wish didn't happen.
There have been moments in my life I wish I could erase.
In retrospect, the things I've learned because of it all have been priceless, and for that reason, I wouldn't change it. I might have wanted to tweak it a little, but certainly not change it.

[JustJo]

Pick different parents :cheesy:

[MsTinkerbelly]

I have thought long and hard about this, since my answer to this question has always been "I wouldn't change a thing, because all I have I owe to where I've been", but that doesn't hold so true any more.

I would have had more children for certain, although my Amy has always been enough.

I would have spent more time with my Mom and Dad before they passed....God, I miss them every single day. I have no regrets about the quality of our relationships, but I feel cheated out of time with them.

That is all I guess. (f)

[imperfect_cupcake]

this is a difficult question as I don't personally believe in regrets. If I honestly love who I am, I must the process of how I became me.

I honestly, hand over heart, have not regretted anything I ever did. I've been deeply sorry and realised my stupidity but I don't think I've done anything scarring enough.

I'd say "I wish I had been smarter about men and how they would take sexual advantage (rape); I wish I had told my parents about the abuse; I wish I had gone back to school earlier and I wish I had taken any of those job offers or offers to study at Berkley or in Madagascar; I wish I had gone to Guatemala right away instead of waiting for confirmation that never came for the job with the researchers (I found out later they had been waiting for me); I wish I had taken the job I was offered in Panama; I wish I had gone ahead with the position at the London Zoo instead of letting it go because it was minimum wage and just figured out a way to live."

I *could* say any of these things. But if I had changed just ONE of them my life would be *radically* different than it is now. And I've done amazing things, met fabulous people, lived/traveled to spectacular places and have a relationship with someone who gets me to the point I think this must be some "oops. sorry we screwed up the delivery of your life. Perhaps you've like a voucher for 'Best Soul Match Possible' as you are a valued customer and we want you coming back."

I don't really think I *want* to change anything. I'm fucked off about my career, yes. deeply. But I really think the rest of my life has been mind blowing so far. And There's more adventure to come :D Whoop!

I'm trying to fix that career problem. It's taking far longer than expected, but eventually, I'll get there.

Maybe I can work for some of my dad's students when I graduate (again...). The debt I'll have will be passed on through generations, but oh well.

The best thing to remember, and it's utterly true, is: You won't regret the things you have done, you'll regret the things you haven't done (AKA it's better to regret the things you have done than to regret the things you haven't done).

Don't stop yourself, go get it. even if you will be dirt poor, lose your sense of security, leave your family and friends, you only get this one tiny tiny short life. that's it. So go. And when ever possible, give most of your shit away. there will always be more crap.

I may have given away a 1940's hardwood vanity with giganto circular mirror with a brocade covered stool with a drawer in it. But at the moment I'm using a cloth covered box, a folding wooden tv table with an apple crate on it and a little plug in light mirror. It works good enough. WTF would I do with good furniture? I move around too much. I need the money for other things.

No. I would be too freaked out about if I had done anything differently. perhaps I should let my mom and dad know how much I love them a bit more before I wish I had done that.

Perhaps I'm not understanding the question?

[Scorp]

Hey HB, LTNS...Hope you've been well.

And nope, you understood the question perfectly. ;)

Thanks for your response.

Be well darlin'

-S


this is a difficult question as I don't personally believe in regrets. If I honestly love who I am, I must the process of how I became me.

I honestly, hand over heart, have not regretted anything I ever did. I've been deeply sorry and realised my stupidity but I don't think I've done anything scarring enough.

I'd say "I wish I had been smarter about men and how they would take sexual advantage (rape); I wish I had told my parents about the abuse; I wish I had gone back to school earlier and I wish I had taken any of those job offers or offers to study at Berkley or in Madagascar; I wish I had gone to Guatemala right away instead of waiting for confirmation that never came for the job with the researchers (I found out later they had been waiting for me); I wish I had taken the job I was offered in Panama; I wish I had gone ahead with the position at the London Zoo instead of letting it go because it was minimum wage and just figured out a way to live."

I *could* say any of these things. But if I had changed just ONE of them my life would be *radically* different than it is now. And I've done amazing things, met fabulous people, lived/traveled to spectacular places and have a relationship with someone who gets me to the point I think this must be some "oops. sorry we screwed up the delivery of your life. Perhaps you've like a voucher for 'Best Soul Match Possible' as you are a valued customer and we want you coming back."

I don't really think I *want* to change anything. I'm fucked off about my career, yes. deeply. But I really think the rest of my life has been mind blowing so far. And There's more adventure to come :D Whoop!

I'm trying to fix that career problem. It's taking far longer than expected, but eventually, I'll get there.

Maybe I can work for some of my dad's students when I graduate (again...). The debt I'll have will be passed on through generations, but oh well.

The best thing to remember, and it's utterly true, is: You won't regret the things you have done, you'll regret the things you haven't done (AKA it's better to regret the things you have done than to regret the things you haven't done).

Don't stop yourself, go get it. even if you will be dirt poor, lose your sense of security, leave your family and friends, you only get this one tiny tiny short life. that's it. So go. And when ever possible, give most of your shit away. there will always be more crap.

I may have given away a 1940's hardwood vanity with giganto circular mirror with a brocade covered stool with a drawer in it. But at the moment I'm using a cloth covered box, a folding wooden tv table with an apple crate on it and a little plug in light mirror. It works good enough. WTF would I do with good furniture? I move around too much. I need the money for other things.

No. I would be too freaked out about if I had done anything differently. perhaps I should let my mom and dad know how much I love them a bit more before I wish I had done that.

Perhaps I'm not understanding the question?

[Jet]

There's a book I never should have read.

[Dean Thoreau]

:glasses: all those if only i had, i wish i had, i should have, i should not have's...... :hamactor:

.......perhaps i should have used some super glue on my lifes trail......

A few children taught me it is best to do..and not regret, or second guess, if it does not turn out right, or if you say the wrong thing...or do something kinda selfish or stupid from time to time...it is ok......you do the best u can and if u screw up well that just makes u more lovable....

So after 58 years I simply pull the cork from the wine, and put on Edith Piaf and sing "NO Regrets".... :wine: feel free to join me.

[Julie]

Simply... Pay closer attention.

[Dutch Leonard]

I wish I made a play for Lianne in college and I wish I bought NT05's this summer.

[suebee]

I would have ignored everyone's advice and adopted that foster child I worked with. But then again, I surely wouldn't be here now. So NO regrets!

:floatbee:

[Deborah]

Trusted my instincts and taken better care of me and not so many others....

[Soft*Silver]

I would not have picked the flower that held the angry bumblebee ....

[lipstixgal]

I would have had the internship changed earlier then August, now I have to ask for an extension which delays me in moving to Florida in October!!

[AtLast]

Never started to smoke cigarettes! Quitting is a bitch and I have lost track of how many attempts I have made!

Most other things have just been the usual trials of living and I really have no regrets there.

Be gentle with yourself, we all find our way.

[Rockinonahigh]

Ciggys..the bitch.Oh heck have I been down that slipry slope.I started at 14 cause it was cool....quit for 10yrs then at 50 outta the blue liltup and the thing was like it never stoped..In January 2010 I quit again~~~~fell off the wagon for the last couple months but am back on the wagon after adjusting my head as to why I nedded a smoke in the first place.I now take it like AA..one day at a time works good that way ause every day I dont smoke is a day I win and am stronger.

[Corkey]

If I changed anything I would not be here now where I am with the love of my life and knowing everything works out the way it is supposed to. Come hell or high water.

[Laerkin]

In all honesty, I wouldn't change a thing because all my fumbles have led me here and I'm very happy.

Of course, looking back there are a few things I could have done better:

- I would have lost my V card to that UBER hottie in high school and had the most insane bragging rights ever. Lol

- I would have spent more time learning from my grandparents and listening to their Stories. Too late I found out how interesting their journeys were.

- And maybe I could have spent a little more time putting myself first every once in awhile.

But no regrets. Just musings.

[turasultana]

would have bought that damn one bedroom duplex on Norfolk street for 70K 15 years ago. its worth half a million now. dammit. :)

[miss entycing]

I woulda said yes yesterday when SD would have come kidnapped me to go to to the reunion- had I of known that Damon would have let me go alone!
dammmmiiitttttttttt :crybaby:


now where's that damn turn back button??????????????

[sweetfemme247]

I would of never said hello to that person who hurt me so many times in my life

[Leigh]

I would have graduated when I was supposed to, not seven years later and I would have kept a job long enough to move out and actually have a life ............ but even with that said, I know that I wasn't ready back then to do any of that so things happened for a reason and I accept it now!

[T D]

I would NOT have gotten involved in poly relationships

AND

I would NOT have left that relationship 12 years ago... Hindsight is an interesting thing at the very least!!

What's done is done, but the repercussion from our actions sometimes last a lifetime.

[Passionaria]

I would be true to myself, to my inner knowing. Every time I have not, I have gotten hurt.

I have trusted unwisely. When I see the warning signs, of people who's behavior is hurtful, I would keep walking and never look back, rather than giving them a chance.....

I acknowledge responsibility for my choices, even though at times I have hurt myself. Given a second chance I would do better.

Our self worth, and how we share the beauty of our soul, is all we really own in this life. And it's worth a lot.



http://www.avoision.com/portnoy/images/2008/august/selfLoveFortune.jpg

[Kenna]

During a crisis I faced in 2001/early 2002...I wouldn't have put "it" back in "it's" place. Things would have been much better for many people had I handled that crisis in a different way and not shut down emotionally or allowed myself to get completely and utterly overwhelmed.

[Blade]

wouldn't have married and idiot. oh wait that's right I wouldn't have married at all, STUPID ME!

[SuperFemme]

i would do nothing differently.
except maybe that tragic pair of ditto jeans in 8th grade could have gone unpurchased...

[Guy]

I would have said yes to the chocolate bread pudding!

[Soft*Silver]

I would have waited

[skeeter_01]

I would have allowed myself to come out at a MUCH younger age..I wouldn't have waited so long..I wouldn't have lied to myself about WHO I was/am..

I would have gone back with my ex when she tried to get us back together...

but things happen the way they do for a reason...and I am lovin' life now adays!! :)

[Abigail Crabby]

Nothing

Everything I've done, I've gleaned a valuable lesson from.

Life is a learning lesson - gotta learn to roll with the punches. :seeingstars:

[lipstixgal]

Seriously I would have c come out earlier but I am here now so that is all that matters!

[Blade]

I would have accepted that interview with UPS 25 yrs ago and just taken my chances of being punished at my present job for missing inventory

[DamonK]

I've learned from everything.

I would have listened to my gut about my ex.
During a conversation, when I knew what was wanted, I would have done it.
I wouldn't have taken that first pill that sent me spiraling into the abyss.

[Rook]

I'd do a lot of things different, but most of all...
I'd probably smack myself with a bunch of red Flags, warn Myself to be a Lot more cautious with my heart, and friendships.
Now Me: "don't be so gullible" -slap-
Past Me: "Ok!"
Now Me: "Heart on sleeve, IX-NAY !!!" -slap-
Past Me: " I get it !!"
Now Me: "Slap slap slap"
Past Me: :blink:
Now Me: "Just making sure it sinks in....":readfineprint:

[Duchess]

(f) I would have given my grandparents the attention they deserved instead of giving in to my teenage selfishness.

[Isadora]

Not much of anything. I would keep it the same. I have learned a great deal from my mistakes: how to say no, how to set boundaries, how to recognize dishonourable people, how to discern those who have great ethics and those who do not and most importantly how to love someone with my whole heart unconditionally. I was never a great believer in unconditional love. Hy showed it to me. A great role model. If I turned back the hard times, I would not have this amazing devotion and love now.

[ruthie14]

lots of things... but right now... getting a higher college education and coming out earlier.

[Massive]

Not let all the baggage from the past stay stuck to my coat-tails.
Learn that I'm only human.
Been born with the side of my family that stayed in the US all those years ago.

[Kenna]

I would have agreed to purchase COBRA insurance so I wouldn't be stuck in my current situation with multiple trips to the hospital, new prescriptions and my Lupus kicking my ass (among other things wearing me out).

[Soft*Silver]

I would have run away instead of been thrown away

[SuperFemme]

mEszTzdUMcY

[NJFemmie]

If I knew then what I know now, I would have asked better questions.

[SelfMadeMan]

I would have moved home to spend as much time as possible with my Mom before she died... then stayed home to take care of Dad and spend those last two precious years with him 24/7. I miss them. Then, I would have met Stacy about 10 years sooner to avoid a whole lotta heartache and start my forever sooner. But that said... I absolutely love my life the way it turned out. :)

[WingsOnFire]

I am not sure I would change much of anything.... my ten year controlling relationship led me here... yes it caused me severe emotional distress... I have grown so much from it, learned so much from it. It made me strong and independent. It kept me from falling into the same footsteps of my family. And if I hadnt moved here and done the growing I have done I wouldnt have met my Daddy.. the love of my life...

However, the growing I did from that past relationship caused me to become extremely dominant and put up defense mechanisms that are unhealthy. I wish over the past year I had done some self reflection on how that dominance was affecting me, us. I am glad I see it now. Now to work on "me" and make healthy changes.

[nowandthen]

I would not change a thing as has been stated, I am who I am as a result of all that I have done. Having lived through the Aids in the 80's I learned to tell the people that I love I love them, seek my Dreams and love deeply:praying:....

[Sachita]

sometimes I sit back and wonder what I would have changed but as I play it through I see how necessary some things were. Everything leading me to here. What an amazing journey... but

there are some things I would like to change

I should have studied archaeology in school like I wanted to instead of listening to people to study business.

The year I took off work to spend with my son, then a toddler, to explore of rural living, my first time, wish my head wasn't so fucked up over a woman and if I could go back I'd focus on him and me, gardening, exploring life instead of crying and longing for someone that was incapable truth.

I should have taken all the money I invested into building this place, the outside and did more remodeling inside. I should have installed a big ass tub and swimming pool.

I should have paid better attention... oh so many times. lol

[Glenn]

. If i could go back, I would pass on it. Keep moving forward is my motto. My fav movie is the time machine and i would absolutely love to see the future to make changes now.

[Kätzchen]

Scorp??? Where are you lately??? I hope everything is okay in your world! Miss seeing you around here!

This subject is very deep for me...

My belief was (in the past): that I regretted parts of my life that I certainly, in my opinion, didn't have much control over. I spent a lot of energy 'regetting' incidents in my past. I don't do that anymore - better said - it wasn't until a year or so ago that I was able to let myself not regret my past - things that have ultimately become a part of my identity; things that have long been tied to my rationale (how I make sense of my world).

My belief now: is connected toward a deeper understanding that I have done the best I can do, did the best that I could do, in my life and as I rise to greet any new day... I know that I have a set of skills that helps me to faciliate situations (or problematic issues): If I don't know what to do, I turn to any number of close, personal friends to help me find a solution that works better than I could ever come up with on my own. Also, I know that I am human - that we're all (speaking in general terms) human in our abilities to solve our situations and in my life right now? I feel that where I am at, in my life experiences, etc., is rooted in my ability to make the best decision that I am capable of making - given that I am prone to not know all the answers, etc.

I know that years ago when I was earning my bachelor's degree, I took a psychology class - I believe it was social psychology - and I read something by Carl Rogers that has stayed with me, since I learned about it. It's the idea that as we age, we sometimes remember things in our lives that cause us heartache and because, seemingly, socio-cultural constructs (and in particular contexts) we pick up on messages in our environments that cue us to feel shame or feel guilt or feel any number of things that cause us to feel like we haven't taken or make the best choices in life. And, as Carl Rogers was arguing, that we come to a place in our lives where we come to terms with our past and learn to let go of what we could or should or would have done (Sunwolf, 2006 theory - the "Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda's") and I have to say that it feels good to accept myself in all my glory and know that if it were not for my past learning experiences, I definately would not be who I am today.

I'm a sweet lady, a wonderful human being and one hell of a Femme.

I love me, I like me and I have earned the right to say that I'm okay - just like I am.

Lots of beautiful love to all,
~D

:stillheart:

[Leader]

Like the myriad of other posters here, I am who I am in large part by the paths I did or did not take in life (good or bad), and I'm exactly where I need to be right here, right now.

That said, there are a thousand things I'd like to have done differently, out of curiosity or to learn or to just experience something different. But who knows, maybe that's already happening, in another dimension, another Universe, another lifetime.

The more I learn, the less I know...

[Scorp]

Hi Lovely,

I'm right here. Just been busy and pre-occupied with some stuff, bla bla bla...but i'm back.. ;)


Thanks for sharing your story and yes you are ~~> "a sweet lady, a wonderful human being and one hell of a Femme"!

Scorp??? Where are you lately??? I hope everything is okay in your world! Miss seeing you around here!

This subject is very deep for me...

My belief was (in the past): that I regretted parts of my life that I certainly, in my opinion, didn't have much control over. I spent a lot of energy 'regetting' incidents in my past. I don't do that anymore - better said - it wasn't until a year or so ago that I was able to let myself not regret my past - things that have ultimately become a part of my identity; things that have long been tied to my rationale (how I make sense of my world).

My belief now: is connected toward a deeper understanding that I have done the best I can do, did the best that I could do, in my life and as I rise to greet any new day... I know that I have a set of skills that helps me to faciliate situations (or problematic issues): If I don't know what to do, I turn to any number of close, personal friends to help me find a solution that works better than I could ever come up with on my own. Also, I know that I am human - that we're all (speaking in general terms) human in our abilities to solve our situations and in my life right now? I feel that where I am at, in my life experiences, etc., is rooted in my ability to make the best decision that I am capable of making - given that I am prone to not know all the answers, etc.

I know that years ago when I was earning my bachelor's degree, I took a psychology class - I believe it was social psychology - and I read something by Carl Rogers that has stayed with me, since I learned about it. It's the idea that as we age, we sometimes remember things in our lives that cause us heartache and because, seemingly, socio-cultural constructs (and in particular contexts) we pick up on messages in our environments that cue us to feel shame or feel guilt or feel any number of things that cause us to feel like we haven't taken or make the best choices in life. And, as Carl Rogers was arguing, that we come to a place in our lives where we come to terms with our past and learn to let go of what we could or should or would have done (Sunwolf, 2006 theory - the "Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda's") and I have to say that it feels good to accept myself in all my glory and know that if it were not for my past learning experiences, I definately would not be who I am today.

I'm a sweet lady, a wonderful human being and one hell of a Femme.

I love me, I like me and I have earned the right to say that I'm okay - just like I am.

Lots of beautiful love to all,
~D

:stillheart:

[gotoseagrl]

i would wait.

[Gemme]

I would learn to let go of material things, so I didn't have a whole corner full of boxes to go through from this move. :blink:

[musicman]

I wouldn't do anything differently. All my decision I've made whether bad or good have brought me to where I am today.

I truly believe , in making decisions and standing by them.

[miss entycing]

i surely woulda kept my emotions in check a time or two.. and eyes wide open.
coulda, should, woulda avoided lots of recent hurt.
thank god them doors are nailed shut now, and i wont be revealing emotions no more.
eh.. it is what it is... ya live and learn.
:vigil:

[JustJo]

I would have left my family of origin sooner, rather than stuck around trying to "fix" it.

I would have gone into counseling/therapy younger rather than older.

I would have grabbed onto the pain and worked through it, instead of avoiding it so long.

[Gráinne]

This is also a deep subject for me.

It has taken a long time, but I believe that if I'd done everything "right", or according to what I was "supposed" to do, I would not be the strong woman I am now, and would not have met the people I've met or had the experiences I've had. Even with its challenges and uncertainty, I feel a hell of a lot happier and alive than some of my friends with the white picket fences and 2.5 kids. I like my scrappiness and quick thinking, all born out of hard times.

I don't regret marrying my husband, because without him I would not have my beautiful children. He was, and is, a good man and a good father. I only wish I had not hurt him. I hope that anyone whom I have hurt through my actions and decisions has long forgiven me.

Do I regret dropping out of college the first time I went? I did, for a long time. Now I realize I was there not for myself but to please my father, and that would never work. I was miserable in my field. It was only after much work on myself that I went back to a school I loved and got into a field that thumps with my very life force. Later still, I got into teaching-in China, of all places. All of that would not have happened if I'd done things "right".

Gradually, I learned not to regret decisions I've made. I tell myself that I made the best choice I had, given the information I had then. For instance, when I was growing up, being gay was simply not an option in that place and time. It's really hard to combat that feeling when it's either a sickness of the soul or a mental illness (that was what we were taught). Who could blame me for feeling I "had" to marry? It simply was not open and more accepted as it is now.

I try not to think in terms of "mistakes". I think life is all one big lesson, and if you don't take risks, you don't drink champagne.

[Deborah]

I would have thought more and spoke less :duct:

[MsTinkerbelly]

I would have exercised the patience that my sign is known for...yepper, that is it.

[I'mOneToo]

Not a thing. Not the mistakes, and certainly not the joys.

i could have maybe been a little more insistent that doctors take headache complaints more seriously, but in the final analysis even those were a gift

[Andrew, Jr.]

I trust others, including my bio-family, too easily. If I could go back and change anything, I would not be so trusting. All it has done is cause me heartache & tears...lots of tears.

[Ciaran]

I wouldn't have studied too hard and went to university for law degree etc. I've have entered work after school, roughed it out and learned a lot more than in a university / academic environment.


I wouldn't have got involved in and caught up in politics and paramilitaries at an early age.


Wouldn't have spent money on beer and women ... I'd be retired now :eek:

[Ms Witness]

I would have come out earlier

[daisygrrl]

I'd change...absolutely nothing. I've learned (sometimes the same lesson/variation, more than once), but I'm happy, present, and ready for more adventures.

[JAGG]

You can't change the past, why would you want to? The past has changed you. It's always about choices. I take chances lots of them. Because I believe in myself. I believe in the impossible. I know you can have it all, exactly the way you want it.
I have no regrets, because in my failures I can truely say, I did everything I should have. Regret comes from, not what you did or tried to do, but what you should have done. Once again, it's always about choices. The best choices, the best decisions, the ones that you never regret, come from listening to ourselves.

[asphaltcowboi]

i would have kept my mouth shut instead of expressing my pain verbaly in hurtful ways to the ones i loved but still blamed for my situation and pain. TG i think i have learned to express myself in a more kind way.

[shadows papa]

I wouldn't change a thing. Every twist, turn, hill, valley etc of the road of life has led me to where and who I am now. I would however, had changed how my Daddy responded when he first started coughing up blood. Instead of waiting 6 months to tell anyone, he would have gone to a doctor immediately and maybe the cancer wouldn't have metastized to his brain. Maybe he would have lived a little while longer. That is the only thing in the story of my life that I would re-write, if it were possible.

[Scorp]

Bummm, bum bum bummm Bummmmmmmmmpity!

[tapu]

I would never have had alcohol or drugs in my whole life.

Whenever I meet someone who hasn't, I think, "Good on ya. Don't let anyone tell you you missed out."

[sara-bera]

I've spent a good deal of my life as a joyful girl. There have been nights of crying wretchedly into my pillow and there are things I regret saying... or not saying, but I think I would leave everything as is. When the ultimate sweetness finally comes, it will be the most beautiful, comforting, loving thing I've ever felt and I don't know that I'd appreciate it without walking the path I've been on all along. My blind faith will pay off someday and I believe I'm getting much closer than I've ever been. I'm grateful for all of life's lessons, no matter how difficult they've been.

[Scorp]

I should have added this to the mix of what I "could" have done differently back in the day:

I should have gone into radio broadcasting which was a huge dream of mine from a very young age. I've always been intrigued by music and anything in the entertainment industry. It's definitely in my blood.

My grandfather was an actor back in the day and I also came from a somewhat musically inclined family. I'm not too sure why I didn't pursue any of my dream. I believe it was my lack of confidence at the time. You get to an age where you graduate high school and in the real world many things around you become overwhelming and it was difficult to make certain decisions. Instead I chose the Corporate world ugh...

People say you can pursue anything at any age, but...it isn't that easy when you need a steady job and put food on your table. I'm too old for the industry now especially broadcasting because you need to start out from a very young age and do all sorts of internships, and you are way at the bottom of the barrel. But, in my heart I'll always have those broadcasting dreams.

Since i'm on the topic of should have, would have, could have, I'd also like to mention that I wanted to become a police officer. I passed my officer's exam a very long time ago. I didn't pursue the academy because of back/neck issues and at the time and figured it wasn't worth putting my life on the line especially when you need to be in good "physical" shape and be up against all kinds of shapes/sizes of folks. I was bummed but had to make a choice and did what I thought was the right thing at that time. Plus, maybe it's a good thing that didn't happen, imagine me with a gun? :seeingstars:

[*Anya*]

I hope this is not a negative or crappy post as the thread is not supposed to be.

I can't answer this without saying "regrets, I've had a few".

I wish I had not stayed in an unhealthy relationship-for me-for so very long. However, I can't turn back the clock. I surely would, if I could.

To paraphrase Brokeback Mountain, I just did not know how to quit her.

[funkyfemme]

i would've paid attention to every single one.

[Sassy]

I would have sided with my best girlfriend, ended it with the red-headed loser and lived the past decade differently. But no use in dwelling. Past is past. Concentrating on the present is the way to go...

[sanee66]

I would have spoken up more about how I was feeling and let someone else be the strong one every now and then. I have been strong for sooo long and it wears me out, just want someone else to help share the burden and the joys with.

[nobelcarrot69]

I would have said no more often. And stayed away from people and things that had no benefit in them for me.

[Corkey]

Everything I have done has led me to where I am, everything I have endured has led to this moment in time, to change the past is to change the present, and I like where I am at present.

[Gemme]

I'm sure I've posted in here already, but I would change a lot of things, both good and bad.

You know those books that had multiple endings and, as you made choices, you found yourself in different scenarios and, ultimately, a new ending?

I wish life was like that where you could go back. It's still the same book but it gives you a chance to see a different side of your life. Sometimes we need that in order to see the present more clearly.

[Bella~Vita]

I would of pursued a career in music. Oh well, maybe the next life

[Ranger Butch Force]

I would never broke up with one of my exes. It was 15 years ago and I was just stupid. Stupid in thinking that someone elae was better, but I was so wrong. We recently reconnected, and even though she is with someone else now, I still love her and she knows it. She knows that if we do get back together, Im going to marry her.

Shit, waterworks are coming on.

[girl_dee]

i don't regret much in my life because had i not experienced things i would have never got the teachings and lessons that got me here today, i learned more about myself in the last 5 years than i have in my whole life..

i've been loved by and loved many wonderful people, who could regret that?, even if one has to leave the situation.

Learning to let go of the hard stuff and hold on to the good stuff is a big part in the process of not beating oneself up over what we could feel was a bad decision.

i've been blessed with beautiful surroundings, from my own backyard in my cypress swing on the slow moving bayou to the eagles, sunset dinners on the shore of a beautiful pond, Cape Cod breezes, motorcycle rides to Ptown, the lake otters, the moon, the sunrises, the huge sky, finding the arrowhead in the sand with my bestie,and treasures when the snow melted.. the kids, the ice cream face babies, fishing on the jetty, my canoe, snow with the pups and training Emma, the woodpeckers, and the Hawks who spoke to me, telling me to keep my eyes open, i spent much of my time being alone with nature and that was sad and wonderful all at the same time. Here i am again blessed with nature and now with the solidity knowing i can call it home and mine. My home, two precious words to me.

so i probably would not much about my life :)

[SelfMadeMan]

Not put so much faith in online friendships - not to say they're all bad, I have some awesome friends... but I've learned they're easily discarded by some and to them, don't matter as much as friendships you can cultivate in real time.

[Amber2010]

This question is such a hard one because all the mistakes we made is what made me who I am today.
I believe I would have lived my life more for myself and tried to be a little more selfish instead of always giving in to everyone.
The times that I had enough of my life and got in my car and took off north instead of turning around and coming back I would have liked to have kept going and seen what my life would have been like if I lived it for myself.

[Scuba]

...not have left my dog at the kennel....I'd give anything to undo this.

[LaneyDoll]

I would have forgiven faster and angered slower.

I would have stood up to my mom's family more often and let go when the time was due, rather than sulk/brood over the choices they made about me.

I would have used the nice china and celebrated each dinner that my family shared together.

I would have cleaned less and relaxed more.

I would have tried to put myself more in the path that hurt my sister and I would have let go because of realizing that there was no way to do it.

I would have done things to better "me." I cannot complain about my life because I happen to think my life is pretty good.

:sparklyheart:

[Blade]

I would have spent more time with Pop the past 6 years.

[RNguy]

I would have spent more time with Pop the past 6 years.

Big hug for you brother .

[weatherboi]

i would've pressed the green button instead of the red one.

i would've gone left at the fork instead of right.

i would've chose to tip the canoe in shallower water.

[Gemme]

...not have left my dog at the kennel....I'd give anything to undo this.

So many times I wished I hadn't left pets with a particular ex. I have no idea where they are, if they are even still alive and if they aren't, if it was natural or not.

:(

[Just_G]

While I am glad to have had the lessons I have had from my past relationships, I would go back and end them sooner than I did instead of being treated the way I let myself be treated for that long.

I would have gone away to college and possibly played basketball.

I really have no regrets in life, but would do a few things a tad bit differently....God knows, I have learned so much from everything I have done, and that is why I am in the amazing boat that I am in today!:hangloose:

[deedarino]

~Too much.

[clay]

I would have MADE her go and get annual physicals. A simple yearly screening would have saved her life!!!! Dammit!!!

[Sassybutterfly]

I would have made better choices during a very curious time in my life and listened to the ones who loved me instead of being so darn stubborn. Knowing what I do now, I would've held on and not been so selfish during that time.

[cinnamongrrl]

I would never have moved out of state....on a whim of absolute faith....

I never would have sold my car....

I would have stayed in school....

[kittygrrl]

(@ 18)i would have left no matter what was promised

[Blade]

I would not have gotten out of bed this morning...think I'll go back there now.

[Darbonaire]

More honest with myself & not stayed in a place I didn't belong because of someone else's love of it. I would have vented my anger at myself & not her since I was the one I was angry at for staying. But then, I would have missed some beautiful memories so....we all do what we feel is best at the time, right?

Jonathan

[NorCalStud]

I would listen completely

[firegal]

I,m with ya clay...

I would of had my lil sis tested/screened when the "menopause" symptoms started.

Oh how i wish i could go back... just long enough.

[Elijah]

Sometimes I think I regret the nearly 15 years I lost to drinking, however, the recovery process was probably the single-most-character-building-journey I have ever been on and the great thing is, it is, in fact, a journey, not a destination, with many more lessons ahead...

[Duchess]

I would have my grandfather get a second opinion.(f)

[Gráinne]

I am remourseful for any of my words, actions or decisions that hurt anyone else. I am flawed and far from the most tactful person out there.

That said, the answer would be, "Not a damn thing."

[MissItalianDiva]

If I could turn back time I would not have just wasted 30 min of my life actually watching "My life is a Lifetime movie"...smh if that doesn't keep you single

[Spirit Dancer]

I would have tried harder to get my friend to listen, I miss her dearly.

[girl_dee]

bump bump !!

[BstlMyhart]

I would've tried to do even more when caring for my mom and sister before they passed.
I never would've gotten into any relationship and just stayed single the whole time.

[Okiebug61]

Everything I did or didn't do led me to where I am and that is the best place I've ever been. Red is my soulmate and we crossed paths many times in our early years and never once spoke. We had mutal friends but were never together with them at the same time. We were at several events at the same time and never met. It's funny how our lives crossed so many times back then yet we never met. I'm pretty sure it's because she was not yet prepared to put up with me :-).

[*Anya*]

...that I would not have caused hurt or pain to anyone that I loved due to thoughtless words or my own insecurities.

The past can not be undone but hopefully I learned from it and grew as a human being.

Everything that has ever happened, has brought me to this place and time.

I do not want to turn back time.

Well, maybe 10-years younger would be pretty cool.

[Miss Scarlett]

I don't want to turn back time. I prefer to ask what can I learn or how can I grow from this?

Then endeavor to apply this new knowledge to future decisions/actions.

[SelfMadeMan]

I would only turn back the clock for one reason... to have met Stacy about 15 years sooner <3

[StrongButch]

Im cool where im at.

[alexri]

I would have had more self confidence growing up.

I would have treated myself better. I would have loved myself more.

I would have learned how to eat right and exercise much earlier.

I would have taken more chances.

I wouldn't have spent money on stupid things.

I would have learned what my gender identity is much earlier than I have.

But... things that have happened may not have happened if things were different. I've learned these lessons, some the hard way, and can apply them to the future...

[~ocean]

cook a ham for Thanksgiving ~

[Katniss]

I would have left home at 16 and not been guilted into returning.

I would have said "yes" to something in 1990 and a firm "no" to something in 1992.

I would have stopped punishing myself for the actions and harm caused by others a lot earlier than I have.

I would have told my good friend not to pick up her mail at the embassy 8/7/98.

I would never have returned stateside in 2002.

Most of all I would go back in time and tell that little blonde ponytailed girl that "you are smart, you are kind, you are important" and sometimes parents do not have your best interest at heart. Sometimes they are too damaged to parent well and take things out on an innocent child. But one day you will have enough strength to not only have closure but to realize the door between you needs to be closed, for good.

Most of all I would tell her to trust your journey. You got this.

Katniss~~(Dorothy and Toto can keep home. I'll stay a stray. :dog: )

[little_ms_sunshyne]

If I could turn back time I would...

-have not walked down the aisle...
- Come out to my family sooner
-Not listened to my parents and attended Berklee College of Music in Boston
- left sooner from a hurtful situation

[macele]

it's too overwhelming. seriously. there's so much i'd do different, ... i wouldn't be the same person LOL. just too freakin' much to think about.

[SuddenlyWestFemme]

If I could turn back time, I wouldn't have answered that PM. Although I have come to love Seattle, I wouldn't have moved and would still be living on 26th Street in NYC--possibly even in love with an east coast Butch that I never got to meet.

But I did answer that PM. And perhaps something amazing is in store for me here on the left coast that will make me glad I answered it.

[maryam]

I would do 16 over. The whole freaking year. I wouldn't change the end result, but it could have been done much better. Less collateral damage and all that.

[diamondrose]

If i could turn back time i would spend precious time with my grandpa. I grew up in the south and my family is in the north. As a young adult i didnt travel to see my family as much as i could have and my grandpa suddenly passed in 2005. It was a learning experience that i took to heart. Since i have made ever effort to close the gap by visiting my family , especially my grandma, as much as i possibly can.

[Contessa]

Remember as kids playing in the front yard (like kick ball) we would call a "RE-DO?"!! Well, there are sure times where I wish I could have done that immediately after i said or did something because I did not think it through. Luckily with age and experience, I have learned to think before I let someone hook up that Uhaul..LOL I have had many high points in life and many low points as I'm sure many have..But few regrets. The regrets I do have..Pray about them and move on. :byebye:

[TheMerryFairy]

If I turned back time, would I even still be the same person?

I struggle with this concept a lot because while there are certainly things I would have done different now that I know the result, every action and every thought provided me with a new lesson and a new chance.

As much as I would like to change some of the experiences I have had, I wouldn't want to compromise what I have now and what I think I may have in the near future because of following my travelling barber business dream.

[Bard]

this is hard because the path i have walked on the good and the bad made me who i am and lead me to desd the love of my life and all the happiness i have now,, but i would go back to a 9 year old me and tell my mom i love her that last time i saw her before her accident.. i would go back and tell my dumb head to listen to my heart and admit how very much i loved desd from the start.. she was then and is now everything i could have ever wanted in a lover a partner and a best friend.. lastly i would have cut my losses with a former friend but we live and learn.. i have a amazing life a wonderful daughter and a wife who takes my breath away

[JustBeingMe]

If I could turn back time, I wouldn't have made some of the stupid decisions I have made way back when. I would do things differently and maybe, just maybe, things would have turned out better for it.

[bright_arrow]

If I could turn back time..

I would have left an emotionally abusive relationship sooner, and on my own grounds, face to face. With that said, I would not have tried a second time to repair it.

I would take back the things I said to her in fear to push you away.

I would not sacrifice my home, family, and job for what turned out to be nothing but another notch in her belt.

I never would have gone to her house over spring break, thus meaning I never would of ODed and ended in the ER.

I would tell my newly outed gay self that I did not have to save every 'damsel in distress', and that my happiness was important just as much as my partner's. I did not have to change to be loved, that no one was worth the hurt of any temporary changes attempted.

I would tell my younger self that communication is important. I grew up in a household where looks and thinly veiled threats communicated feelings, especially anger, and to this day there are days where all my cues are physical, none verbal.

[torchiegirl]

*with the notion that change is good:

To have found such vigor for learning sooner in life would have been super! Who knows what doors may have opened, presuming they would have led to something "good", some degree of self actualization or invited insanity.

And a new beginning awaits...

...so it is quite possible that I may have ended up right here, where I am now, and I'd rather be no other place.

...
...
...

[Rockinonahigh]

If I could do some of this mess over the one thing I would do is listen to wiser people,my life would havebeen so much better.

[VintageFemme]

Take my time. Slow down. It all goes too fast anyhow and hurrying things along, well you miss so much & you make too many quick mistakes. I probably wouldn't really change any one thing perse as I am an avid believer in the butterfly effect, but I would def take things much slower if I could have a do over.

[TheMerryFairy]

I would have been more careful in my decisions.

[Jess]

Eat more fiber...

[~ocean]

~ I would have left my ex years b4 I did ~
~ I would never have been as generous with my money ~
~ I would never have let anyone walk all over me ~
~ I would have never bought this beast of a house ~
~ I would not be in this place at this time ~

[DJ Bear]

man up. walk the walk and talk the talk.

[StrongButch]

Not date women 20 to 30 years younger than me!

[always2late]

Finished college the first time I went (right out of high school)
Not married my son's father (but I probably would have had to find him and have a one-nighter just so I could still have my son ;) )
Come out MUCH sooner
Not wasted so much time and energy on those not worth the effort
Learned to play the cello
Realized my own worth much sooner

[nhplowboi]

Found my soon to be wife :blueheels: years ago, done some military time and called my mom way more often.

[Blade]

I would have stayed in college
I would have taken a bigger interest in computers back then
I would have spent a lot more time with people, who are gone now.
Funny how you think of all sorts of questions you wish you had ask them after they are gone.

[Kenna]

not leave Shenandoah valley ...I promised a very special person that as years went on, I'd be there to take care of her like she did me. I'd turn back time to get the past 14 years back...I'd never move away for the sake of chasing a paycheck. She was worth so much more.

[Turtle]

I would be a little older, do my homework and study a little more, and have gone to work for and dive with Jacques Cousteau.

But this has all worked out very nicely...

[MysticOceansFL]

I would have gone to college first and then entered the military.

[GraffitiBoi]

I would have torn down the wall before it was too late.

[NerdieGirl]

I would have stayed in college the first time. Or the second. Or the third.

[SoSousMe]

I would stop My nephew from getting on that motorcycle... :(

[CharmingLee]

~ I would have left my ex years b4 I did ~
~ I would never have been as generous with my money ~
~ I would never have let anyone walk all over me ~
~ I would have never bought this beast of a house ~
~ I would not be in this place at this time ~

I couldn't have said it any better. These exact things happened to me in my last relationship. I would just add

~take time to get to know the next one (if there is even going to be a next one) before I jump headlong into a relationship.

[Turtle]

OR - to do it again, I would do my math and go into some sort of how our brains work kind of science...next time, as I said, this is very good.

[grenade]

I would take back words said in anger.

[Heavenleahangel]

There is ONE pivitol moment in time I would give almost anything in my life to go back to. I was young and didn't use the right words to say what I needed to say. Not expressing what I needed to changed my life~forever! I wish I could go back to that moment, took a deep breath, cleared my head and used my brain. That was the first and last time I was speechless and stammering. I have chosen my words more wisely since.

[TheMerryFairy]

I would have thought things through in my head and took a breath before I let the energy take over

[~baby~doll~]

I would have gotten her address and full name or whatever would help me find her.

I should have found a way.

[willow]

Everything and nothing? If I can play around with time then everything is possible isn't it? I could try out every scenario of every situation. I could follow every dream, even the fleeting waking dreams. Then when I'd done it all I could come back to where I am now. The people I love now would still be here because I didn't wish them away.

Yes that is what I'd do. Everything and nothing.

[Trev]

I wouldn't do anything differently. I'm in the place of my life because of the paths I've chosen to take. I have no regrets, however I have learned many lessons. Without those lessons, I'd make the same mistakes... Keep taking chances or you'll miss great opportunities.

[NorCalStud]

Turn back time..I would have chosen better methods for pain management. I would have sought out NA sooner.

I would have worked more on intimacy issues instead of letting my careers consume me. I would realize being a breadwinner is not a laurel to rest on.

I will listen more. It is not all about me.
I will:praying: pay attention to the memory making aspect of every moment.

[Jean_TX]

I should have confronted her instead of turning away. Then maybe things would have turned out differently. Even now, the saying keeps going through my mind: The saddest words of voice and pen are simply these, "What might have been..."

[BrennanCT]

The only thing, and I mean only, I would have done differently would have been to have bypassed a few women. Other than that, I have no regrets. I consider myself very lucky and I would rather be lucky than smart any day!

[maryam]

I would be more careful with my bagel this morning! I branded my finger on the still hot coils when it got stuck this morning. (At least I remembered to unplug it!)

[BowtiePrincess]

have children...

[girl_dee]

take back words i've said to people that probably hurt them

[~baby~doll~]

I would have better recollection of the 80's and would not have hurt those I love with all my heart.

[sierragirrl]

if i could go back 10 yrs i would.i have learned so many lessons the hard way.sometimes they sink into my noggin sometimes i have to be hit over the head with them..
i would of spent more time with my mother, more loving time with my mother although she smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish i am so glad my oldest doesn't not remember her grandmother that way.
i would have not listened to the family friend that said go look at your mother after she has passed away she will look so peaceful.. yup not so much
i would of managed my money better, left it all in investments had a full time job to live off of instead..although having the money did afford me to stay home and raise my youngest and i was able to make a lot of great memories with my kids and their great grandmother..
i wish i had been raised with better family values, better eating habits.

if i was able to turn the clock back 5 yrs i would do things different. i would of taken it slower, if the fires of 08 didn't happen i would of not needed to be "saved". i would of gotten therapy long before i did i would of not falling into the dark deep hole that consumes me to this day. i isolate myself big time i push people away i crawl inside myself wish people would of just been a little more understanding bi polar sucks and i am bettering myself daily, am i 100%? nope..is anyone ever 100%? i read a really great book on bi polar called the unquiet mind if you love someone who has bi polar plz read this.

if i could turn back time 3 yrs ago to the reunion i would of come way out of my shell and met all you fine folks that were there but i did not i kept myself tucked away.
if i could turn back the clock 2 yrs ago i would..i would change ever having to wear orange and been forced to drink sweet tea <blech> although it was something i will never forget.you being so worried bout me over in my pod me worried about you,seeing you first thing in the morning at med time, me not knowing what was going on..thank goodness all the girls were awesome..

if i could turn the clock back a yr i would do so i would communicate more,loved harder,fought harder,thought before i spoke, and believed more. i would of worked instead of being on call whenever you wanted me to be..i think money comes between people, sickness,rage, addiction comes between people, distance does as well..i wish my ex would of moved over here, to have someone you love close to you, so you can have dinner together, run errands together, to go to the city together spend sometime together.. the every day companionship is what i want..i NEED someone who will be there no matter what cause my ass falls a lot.i can honestly say i have never cheated on anyone i was in a relationship with.
now would i take anything back? sure lots of it. i have gotten to experience a lot of great things,people and places in the past 5 yrs.

i am lucky enough to have had 3 true loves in my lifetime,2 continue to be rocks in my life no matter what i know i can count on them.

all of these lessons make me who i am, i am learning that shit happens for a reason. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? :byebye:

[Cid]

If I could turn back time, so many things I would change. From childhood to adult.
But I can't so I won't even start to think about it.

[Bèsame*]

I only wish the Lesson of " I can not change anyone, I can only change myself. I am not the fixer", would have presented its self sooner in my life.

[thedivahrrrself]

There are very few major things I would have done differently. I might have talked a little less and listened a little more, definitely. But I don't regret the people I have loved - they helped to shape who I am. And the people I have lost - mostly, they knew how much they meant to me. Yes, I stick my foot in my mouth a lot, but those who love me tend to forgive me.

I think the thing I would have done most differently is stop looking to someone else to guide me and start looking for more answers from within. It opened the door for a lot of people to manipulate me, and I still fall into those habits from time to time. I would have spent less time exploring the submissive side of myself and started exploring the power I have within instead. Rather than looking for someone to control me, perhaps I should have learned to control myself.

If I could turn back time, I would have a harsh talk with myself about my own self-worth. I would tell the younger me that I am fully deserving of all good things, and I would refuse to accept the way I allowed a lot of people treat me over the course of my lifetime, particularly when I was very young.

The last few years have been pretty phenomenal - they have forced me to grow and learn a lot about myself, some of it I needed, but didn't want, to know. I have actively made sure the people in my life, be they friend or lover (or some mix of both), were good people, to the core of their being. These people will never know the value of their companionship - they collectively have helped me to feel worthwhile for the first time in my life. With their help, I will not repeat the mistakes of my past. I will spend the next 30 years making up for the last 30, and I'll be good to myself. :)



But after all that, I thought of one decision I would totally take back.... I would have never bought that Chevy Aveo!

[girl_dee]

i would have not made major financial decisions after Katrina.

[Cid]

As I'm reading these posts, one thing seems to stand out for me. I would have given myself more credit and more self worth.
I think that was the one thing that really controls much of it, was that I didn't give myself enough worth. I would have gone to school and done better for myself. If I had given myself the strength within, I wouldn't have taken the abuse that I did. I would have kicked the asshole to the ground.

I would have to say that changing my eating habits would have been a good choice and my spending habits too.

But I think the one biggest thing that I would change in the past is that I would have listened to my kids more. It's not that I didn't appreciate them, but that being a single mom (my exhusband and I worked opposite shifts) made it difficult to get the rest that I needed to give that energy. I should have gotten them out and exercising. It would have made for a better emotional connection between my kids and my connection with them.
And I would have done far more family trips. Even small trips count.

[PoeticSilence]

I'd have paid a lot more attention to family recipes and the importance of buying a house with a large kitchen.

[deathbypoem]

I would of rounded up the minutes into something a little more odd.

[sierragirrl]

I would of had surgery 20 yrs ago!
such a life saver, a second chance at life.
I would of left sooner and not had 5 yrs of crap drain who I was
however I am layin those life's stepping stones down and building my OWN path.
I got this:bouquet:

[Chad]

Basically I would change almost everything but the most important would be Chad get out of the disco bars and go to college now!

[JustBeingMe]

I would change a lot of things in my life that I never did for myself that I wish I had now.

[PoeticSilence]

If You Could Turn Back Time, What Would You Do Differently?


Ten years ago I had a heart attack. I was dealing with a lot of stress and not paying a lot of attention to my health. That heart attack and stress have been a gateway to some other issues for me. I'd like a do-over on that time of my life.

[cinnamongrrl]

I would advocate for myself more

and

learn to say no and mean it....Im working on this!

[Talon]

Honestly....not a thing....it all has led me to where I am now.

Life is just too damn short for regrets.

[RockOn]

stayed home and not have gone
to work January 24, 2014

f*ck it

nuff said

[homoe]

EVERYTHING:hangloose:

[MsTinkerbelly]

I wouldn't do anything differently! I have made excellent choices, and have a really special spouse and life.

[JDeere]

I would have not gotten myself involved with some of the ladies I have a relationship with and would have taken better care of myself, emotionally, physically and mentally!

[Ginger]

Don't run away from home.
Don't marry the snake man.
Don't major in English or at least minor in marketing.
Be more appreciative of that first major mentor. And the second and third.
Don't hang out with that crowd.
Don't break up with X.
Don't move away from NYC.
Don't put off buying an apartment.
Don't beat up on myself.
Don't say it's too late.

[kittygrrl]

you can't go back, only move forward, besides everything happens for a reason