Are you OUT at work?

[skeeter_01]

I work for a Big 10 university in the midwest. I'm very out at work infact when someone DOSEN'T know I'm always surprised! A few years back we had the legalization of gay marriage on the ballots here in this state and (of course) it didn't pass. My partner who also was working for the University at the time had people at work approach her and apologize for it not passing.

My job offers partner benifits and there is NO sexual orientation discrimiation allowed. There are about 8 of us in the dept that I work in, including a woman who is MTF, I LOVE my job!! :)
skeet

[morningstar55]

YES I am..... and being on the road im proud to have my lil rainbow flag up hangin from my passanger side visor... so oi guess im out everywhere my truck takes me... heh....
i just dont make a big issue out of it either.
always should be happy and proud of who you are.

[adorable]

Yep. And not only am I out at work, everyone refers to my partner as hy - even though they don't understand it. I work in a very liberal city though. I actually live 30 minutes away and we wouldn't be skipping down the street holding hands there. It's like night and day.

[MaggieBluIze]

Yes I am! :)

My supervisor is gay, his supervisor is gay, and many of my co-workers are gay as well. It's a happy little rainbow in our call center. :)

[Linus]

My colleagues are aware and we have a very strong anti-discrimination policy including gender and sexual orientation. My company is very supportive and my managers also. My clients, however, don't know. It's not relevant for them to know.

[lipstixgal]

Oh G-d no I wasn't out at school either only in the gay and lesbian group did I come out. It was very homophobic and since I live very close to NYC you would think otherwise but I think that the population that was there(mostly hispanic and black) it was a cultural thing, everyone was either with a boyfriend or pregnant!! As for teh internship I don't think so I would like to be though but I don't think so..:(

[Isadora]

Yes.

I am out about everything including my Leather life. I have been out for a very very long time to everyone.

[Bard]

Yes I am adn excepted for the the most part even protected by the guys I work with :police: there is a person in the department who has a problem with it but that is her problem she really can not make waves and really the patrol devision is what matters.. Now in my othe job in the military as a medic in the USAFR I am not and it kills me slowly. one o the graduate students at the university did a profile documentary on me and the duality on my lfie as a cop and a medic but I am who I am and can not nor will not be anything else a study in the contrasts the cowboi, the cop, the airman, the mother the partner and friend
:cigar2:

[Arwen]

Way way waaaaaaaaaaaay out. I make it a point to NOT hide because I certainly could.

The evil toddler Arwen gets a HUGE kick out of the reactions when the very slow finally catch up.

I had a co-worker (new on our team and at my last job) ask me, "But if you like mannish women, why don't you date women?"

You could see the guys on my team just cringe. They knew me. I'm blunt at times.

I smiled at him as I patted him gently on the leg. "Honey, my dates can buy the size I like."

I left it at that. The look when he got my meaning was PRICELESS. The others on my team harassed him unmercifully. He took it well though. Good kid. I don't think he expected this feminine, older woman (who he said reminded him of his MOM) to be queer.

Where I work now includes transgender in their anti-discrimination policy. At least two managers are openly gay and there are about five of us in the call center. Sadly, I've just learned that my company donated to the Tea Party. I'm going to write a letter and ask why they would support hate.

[scootebaby]

yes i am,and have been for a very long time...regardless where i work...all my employees know and have met Jo and know she is my girlfriend/partner....my coworkers at the other stores know and have also met JO...some of my customers know even...i dont broadcast it nor do i hide it...if asked i tell.....even my son doesnt hide the fact...he usually tells his friends before i ever meet them...he says if they have an issue with it he doesnt need them as friends

[DamonK]

Most of my coworkers know.

I don't hide it; I don't advertise it. I out myself half the time just by my looks.

A select few know my trans status, but they don't get it. I'm still called my bio-name and still referred to as she.

Whereas I don't like it, the way I see it is that I'm at work to work, not make friends. The ones that count call me he and Damon.

My residents, however, do NOT know. Like I said, I don't advertise it and my coworkers respect me enough to not advertise it either. If they do know, it's not from staff.

[Apocalipstic]

Though I live in tge South, I am very out and we hold hands wherever we go!

I think it is important to be out and stand PROUD!

[Strappie]

OUT.... and .... PROUD....

All my co-workers know, we have same sex beny's too!!

[desd]

Always been out :) Don't advertise, but I won't beat around the bush if it comes up

[dreadgeek]

Yes. I'm very out at work. My entire department has met my wife and a number of my co-workers were at our nuptials. Even my very conservative Christian co-worker calls my wife, well, my wife.

I got some grief when I first started there led, ironically, by a closet case but at the end of the day, the harassers are gone, I'm still there and I earned the respect of my co-workers for how I handled myself while it was going on.

:)

Cheers
Aj

[Gayla]

I don't think I'm ever "in" so coming out really isn't an issue.

It's not really anything I ever think about or am really concerned about, it's just something that is. I work from the assumption that everyone knows and it's a non-issue.

There are a couple of other agents in my office that may have a problem with it but no one has ever said anything to me. As far as clients, it's not something I beat them over the head with but it's not something I hide. Clients have a choice to work with me or not, and I have a choice to work with them or not. I think if it's an issue, they just move on to someone else. On the other side of that, I wouldn't really know if my clients have issues or not because we don't talk politics, gay rights, religion, etc. It's not like I only sell gay houses or only sell houses to gays.

As I said to someone a few weeks ago, I'm a flag waving liberal in an industry of people who are, well.. who are not flag waving liberals. If I choose who to work with based on their political beliefs, I probably wouldn't have much business. This goes not just for clients but all of the other people who I interact with on a daily basis to complete transactions. Again, I don't walk around waving my rainbow flag all day every day but it's not something I hide.

[Apocalipstic]

I purposefully chose an industry where my sexual orientation would never be a problem. I thought about teaching, but was afraid that here in TN people would show up with pitchforks to burn down my house.

[Waldo]

Would be hard for me to be closeted at work, but I live openly and refer to my girlfriend in context.

[morningstar55]

i have heard this happening.... there are sometimes it seems in a work place another woman will have a problem with it......
and then you hear , something to the effect of hoping you wont try anything with her.... and then you make it known she is NOT your type and she has Nothing you want...... then the woman gets offended with a huge ? mark.... LOL
ok did this story sound right ?? lol its something i have experienced and know a few others that had something like this happen.

[Isadora]

Old story: My mother asks me why I date women that look like men? Me: Because they last longer. Mom, with puzzled look that moved to understanding: Very Good Reason.

heh.

Way way waaaaaaaaaaaay out. I make it a point to NOT hide because I certainly could.

The evil toddler Arwen gets a HUGE kick out of the reactions when the very slow finally catch up.

I had a co-worker (new on our team and at my last job) ask me, "But if you like mannish women, why don't you date women?"

You could see the guys on my team just cringe. They knew me. I'm blunt at times.

I smiled at him as I patted him gently on the leg. "Honey, my dates can buy the size I like."

I left it at that. The look when he got my meaning was PRICELESS. The others on my team harassed him unmercifully. He took it well though. Good kid. I don't think he expected this feminine, older woman (who he said reminded him of his MOM) to be queer.

Where I work now includes transgender in their anti-discrimination policy. At least two managers are openly gay and there are about five of us in the call center. Sadly, I've just learned that my company donated to the Tea Party. I'm going to write a letter and ask why they would support hate.

[ruthie14]

Not out at work. I am a nursery school teacher and people sometimes get wierded out when your job involves children. The only people at work that know is one teacher who was my friend before I worked there and my only set of lesbian parents. Wish I could..but you can still lose your job in NJ for being gay. Wouldn't be a safe move.

[MysticOceansFL]

Does it really matter if your out at work , How you perform your job and get along with others isnt based on your lifestyle now is it ?

[lipstixgal]

Does it really matter if your out at work , How you perform your job and get along with others isnt based on your lifestyle now is it ?

So true so true well said I don't think I will come out at work when I get a job that is if there are any jobs!!

[Chancie]

Oh G-d no I wasn't out at school either only in the gay and lesbian group did I come out. It was very homophobic and since I live very close to NYC you would think otherwise but I think that the population that was there(mostly hispanic and black) it was a cultural thing, everyone was either with a boyfriend or pregnant!! As for teh internship I don't think so I would like to be though but I don't think so..:(

I want to make sure I understand what you are saying.

Did you mean that because your classmates are hispanic and black, everyone had a boyfriend or was pregnant?

[desd]

The only female co-worker I have ever known to have a problem with it was because she saw me as 'competition', apparently. Yes, for another female's attention.

Seriously? Seriously.

Everyone at my prior job knows of my girlfriend, many have seen her with me and/or met her as well.

I won't put it in your face, but I will mention my girlfriend as such.

[desd]

I want to make sure I understand what you are saying.

Did you mean that because your classmates are hispanic and black, everyone had a boyfriend or was pregnant?

I read it as the people she was around were homophobic because they were other cultures and therefore different cultures from her? I took the next part of the sentence as an observation - the other females either had a boyfriend, or were pregnant - therefore not a lesbian.

[Apocalipstic]

Does it really matter if your out at work , How you perform your job and get along with others isnt based on your lifestyle now is it ?

I think it does matter.

It matters to us that we don't have to lie about our lives or live closed off. It is not healthy.

It matters to the Community, that there are role models of Queer professionals they can look up to.

It matters politically that we have an OUT voice and are counted as constituency when laws are suggested.

We would not have the rights we have today if the Gay/Lesbian/Queer people who came ahead of us had not come out.

I could cite many more reasons.....

I think it is of utmost importance.

[pajara]

Well considering most of my co-workers are on my FB. I would say that's a big ole yes. Especially after the Reunion pictures. bwahahahahahahaha

[JustJo]

I work remotely from home and my colleagues know me via phone and email...plus one company-wide meeting a year. I know virtually nothing about most of my co-workers and they know virtually nothing about me.

As far as my closest work buddies (like my work partner, who describes himself as a fruit)....yes, I'm out. My work partner's statement when he saw a pic of Scoote... "ooooohhhh she's all cute and butch and stuff."

My company includes full same-sex partner benefits and includes "sexual and gender orientation" in their non-discrimination policy. I only ever heard of one person giving gay colleagues a difficult time. He was fired. :)

[JustJo]

yes i am,and have been for a very long time...regardless where i work...all my employees know and have met Jo and know she is my girlfriend/partner....my coworkers at the other stores know and have also met JO

They wouldn't dare say anything honey...they want those chocolate chip cookies! :winky:

[princessbelle]

I am out more than I thought I would ever be at work. It's not common knowledge but I have told a few people that are close and then there are also some gay people there that are out and they know as well.

I don't discuss it for just any old reason. But, if someone is trying to fix me up (rme) as in wanting me to meet their brother for the 5th time (rme again) I finally just tell them so I can get on with things and try and hang out with the few that know my sexual preference without all that stuff.

My boss also knows because i felt that was important in case i am someday in a relationship and my partner or their family get sick/die etc.

I have been totally accepted by it all at least to my face. It makes me more comfortable and i'm glad i've at least told the few that I have.

[ravfem]

my first "adult" job was working admin for a very conservative doctor (he was a Bob Jones man, for those of you who know BJU). i came out within my first month of being there, and brought my (then) gf to the holiday get-togethers. During my time there, BJU was asking the city for public tax money to remodel their art museum, and i was one of a handful who were openly protesting it.

At the county council meeting regarding it, the local news station got me speaking about it. The next day at work, he told me he had seen me on tv, and thought i was very articulate. i took that as a huge compliment! i worked for him for 4 years before moving away from the city for a year. When i ran into him at the grocery store not long after moving back, he asked me on the spot to come back to work for him.

i was out at every job after that. The hardest was when i was with my TG ex. It was before he'd started medically transitioning, but was already referred to as "he". That took my co-workers & boss a while to grasp - that i was a lesbian with a "woman" who wanted to be a man. But they were good sports and he was always included in office get-togethers.

Personally, for me, it *does* matter to be as out as possible, though i completely understand that not everyone feels comfortable or safe coming out.

[Kobi]

I have never hidden who I was in the workplace. I have always referred to my partners by name and used the term partner without even a second thought. I have brought partners to company events and they were readily accepted and welcomed.

For me, being a lesbian is just a part of the person I am. It doesnt define who I am or what I am about as a person in and of itself. And, I have never encountered a negative response, so it never occurs to me to hide it. It also never occurs to me to make a big deal out of it i.e. I dont ever remember having a coming out to someone talk. I just live my life.

I'm blessed to live in an such an accepting area with such super coworkers.

[TIMBERWOLF]

Yes Im out to my staff and company. Thats one of the reason i got hired. My Office Manager is gay and he wanted a gay person to work for him. Most of our company is gay. As far as patients , no and if they ask we explain to them that they aren't there to wonder about sexual orientation but to receive treatment. Im sure that the gentlemen would have a problem with him when he is handling their testicles or the females with me as im in their inguinal lymphnodes or moving their breast out of the way to get to their axillary lymphnodes.
WT is out at her work and she gets same partner benefits as I was on her insurance until i got my own.
TIMBER

[dixie]

I am very much out at work. Luckily, I have the most awesome bosses and co-workers. Everyone is very open and understanding. In my line of work tolerance and open-mindedness is the only way to do this job, so it just seems natural that the folks I come in contact with have no issues. My boss is also very proud of her bi sexuality, but has not been in the community as much. Therefore, since I am the "token queer girl" (a joke between me and the boss) and have a few more connections in the community, I have become the transitioning liason. I work with folks who are interested in beginning the transitioning process by connecting them with outside resources such as support groups (other than the one we have here), counselors and therapists, and other doctors/surgeons and such. I am very out and proud in all other areas of my life, so I am very happy that I am able to include my workplace in this as well. :)

[Laerkin]

For me, it's a matter of visibility.

My company does not offer gay benefits of any kind, so in our continuing fight for equality it's very important that some of us prove being "out" at work does not impact anything at all. In fact, we are proving that those of us within the LGBT community at the office are quite valuable.

I am out, but I don't loudly advertise. I talk about Pride in June, I talk about my ex Michelle from time to time and I talk about the adventures SB and I are constantly going on. I have pictures of all of my friends in frames on my desk (and a large proportion are same-sex couples). But there is no agenda, there are no rainbows, there are no obnoxious conversations. I am incredibly respectful.

The VP of Human Resources has met with me on several occasions for various gay-related issues and she is constantly encouraging me to be myself, to share my life in the same way everyone else shares their lives, to have gentle and honest dialog because that's the only way progress will happen. The people around me need to know I'm gay before they'll start supporting gay initiatives and gay equality because they won't realize the impact their silence will have on someone they care about if they don't know the person next to them is gay.

I am on the LGBT Equality Committee at work. Upper management is constantly trying to shut us down, discourage our work, silence us through small, irritating little gestures.

So yes, being out at work is very important. The only way the company is going to offer gay benefits and give the LGBT employees equal pay is if we make ourselves known, if we walk the halls without shame, if we make it clear to people that we are vital, valuable, reliable, responsible, smart employees regardless of our lifestyle and that we deserve to be treated fairly.

I will not go silently or let them treat me unfairly without a fight. It's a good company that's done amazing things for me, but that doesn't mean they don't have room for improvement and this is something I will fight for. If I don't fight, who will?

The LGBT Committee regularly submits proposals and budget plans for extending gay benefits, meets with HR on issues and visibility, we encourage people to join the list (both gay and straight) to maintain communication about the latest events and developments in each of our offices...it's frustrating, irritating, disheartening and very very necessary.

I do not expect special treatment, but I do expect fair treatment and equal pay and compensation for the work I do especially because I'm in management and work my ass off for them.

So yes - performance is important, but every single one of us are excellent performers at work (most of us are in management in some form or another) and being out is imperative if we are going to ensure that future generations at the company have a shot at fair and equal treatment.

Does it really matter if your out at work , How you perform your job and get along with others isnt based on your lifestyle now is it ?

[Rockinonahigh]

Over the years I mostly was self employed or worked for othe ppl in the equine work force,for the most part my sexuality never has been an issue to any one.I dont flaunt it but dont deny it either..but with me being as big as I am and walking like a tank its hard to not know im queer.The only time I ever had a problem was when I worked for one of the casinos hear with my boss harrasing me about it so bad I had to quit to get away from it and him..yes I reported it but as there were no whitnesses who would tell it like it was for fear of there jobs, hr called it hear say.When I was in college in my last semester I had a big prob with a instructor giveing me hell about it but as I only had the rest of the quarter to do I sucked it up...no I didnt like doing that but I did it to get out with my diploma and be gone.

[dreadgeek]

Does it really matter if your out at work , How you perform your job and get along with others isnt based on your lifestyle now is it ?

Yes, it matters. It matters because being 'out' at work can be accomplished with one simple sentence "This weekend my wife and I just puttered about the house..." At that moment, I am out. Even if I just changed the word 'wife' to 'girlfriend' or 'partner' I would STILL be out. Now, I suppose I could just not talk about my personal life at all with my co-workers and pretend to not exist when I'm not here. But why on Earth would I do that? Why SHOULD I have to do that? If I put a picture of my wife on my desk then I've outted myself. If I say "I love you" when I get off the phone with her, I've outted myself the moment I say who I was speaking with. I refuse to pretend that the woman I love with a depth I did not know I was still capable of is my roommate or some casual acquaintance. She is too important to me for me to do that since I do not HAVE to in order to be economically viable.

My heterosexual coworkers are constantly on about what they did with their husband or wives, or what the kids were doing, or the new person they are dating. Haven't they just stated that they are heterosexual by talking about the road trip to the coast they took with their husband? Why should it be that if I were heterosexual and talked about my husband I would NOT be putting something about my 'lifestyle' out there but if I'm talking about my wife I *am* talking about my 'lifestyle'. I reject that construction out of hand because I do not think that the word 'lifestyle' is appropriate when talking about being queer.

My lifestyle is that of an urban, upper middle-class, professional in middle-age. My being a lesbian is not a 'lifestyle' in much the same way that my being a woman or black isn't a 'lifestyle'.

Cheers
Aj

[Rockinonahigh]

Im not shure how things will go with my new pt job..but im just going to go and do my job,pick up my check on payday.They can think what they like or not,im not advertiseing or denying a thing.I wear a gay pride ring and u can bet this old butch wont be wearing makeup or girlie things to work.This job is in a catholic hospital thats local..im not shure what to make of that so I will cross that bridge when I get to it.Its a desk job in the records office.

[christie]

Like Jen, I think its important to be out at work. It matters to me that I live an authentic life. It matters to me that I believe that to change some of the negative stereotypes, I have to be out.

So yes, I am out at work. Not an easy feat considering the ownership are conservative, white males. However, I am fortunate in that we have established not just a mutually-respectful professional relationship, but also a friendship.

We have had many conversations about equal rights and I have been able to give a more personal perspective to the issue - so much so that Jack has changed his position on marriage equality and is supportive. Its really enheartening when we facilitate that process and it couldn't have been possible if I hadn't been out.

Being a small business with less than 100 employees, we are unable to offer domestic partner benefits, but Jack has stated that the moment its possible, I'm to sign us up!

Given my position of Director of Operations, which encompasses HR, I haven't had a single issue with my managing team nor with the rest of the staff. I am also involved in a new partnership venture with another local company and am also out to these folks. Once the ownership of the other company knew, they shared that they have two gay children and just that commonality eased some of the "get to know you" jitters.

Jess has attended work-related functions with me and I can't tell you how many times a week I am stopped and its not, "Hey Christie - how you doin'?" but rather, "Hey - How's "MY" Jess doin'??" LOL I think they like Jess better than me!!

[sweetbutch26]

i'm out everywhere. it's kind of hard to miss that i am lez. i wear pride rings and necklaces. i'm proud of who i am

[chefhottie25]

I am out at work...and I work with all straight guys. I have no problems. The guys also try to include my thoughts and opinions on the conversations about women. It's like I am just another guy to them. I really am happy and grateful about that. I am also aware that kitchens are not like other work places...i don't know if I would be so openly gay in a more professional enviroment.

[rainintothesea]

I am also out at work, and I agree that it's extremely important... but I do understand that it's sadly just not possible for some people and some working environments. My company is extremely liberal, donated money to fight Prop 8 and includes both sexual orientation and gender expression in its nondiscrimination policy.

Even though I've never made it a secret, occasionally I am surprised to learn that a coworker has worked alongside me for two years and had no idea. Some of my friends joke that I'm a "stealth lesbian," even though I wear little rainbow ring earrings every day... so I recently had thin rainbow bands tattooed around my left wrist, also, of which I am very fond. I'd like to say it helps me be more visible, but I guess that remains to be seen (accidental play on words, but I'm keeping it)! A continuing source of frustration for me is my seeming invisibility sometimes... it's difficult to let all these wonderful butches know I'm here. :)

[The_Lady_Snow]

“Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight.” Harvey Milk


I am Queer everywhere I go.

[Cowboi]

I am out at work. For the most part I don't have any trouble. My OR Manager doesn't care for me. I have never had any problems till I started to work at the hospital I am at now.

I just do my job, don't talk about my private life. I do have some good friends there.

[dark_crystal]

out at work since day one! Two hours into my first day the other librarians took me to lunch- the very second our waiter left with our drink orders, out came THE QUESTION:

"so, are you married?" :spruceup:

DOH! Do i lie and say yes, or lie and say no? i decided to say "i am engaged but i can't get married because it's illegal here"

[Greyson]

Yes, I am out at work and everywhere. I just got back home from the BV conference in West Hollywood this past weekend. The topic of "visibility" came up during the "Many Faces of Butch" panel presentation.

It occurred to me that many of us limit visibility to outward appearance. Are you passing or not passing? I think visibility goes to who we see ourselves to be, how do we give that self identity expression and do we invite or participate in educating others? One can be "out" without looking like a stereotype of what it means to be Queer.

Another thing that came to my attention is how important it can be to some of our elders, the ones that came before us and took risks busting down the doors. They see much of this "moving forward" in our community as an attempt to blend in and lose our history, herstory, power. This gives me something to think about. I will not forget. Without the first and second wave of Feminism I do not believe my world as a Transmasculine Butch/Transman would be possible.

[Lynn]

My co-workers who have taken the time to know me at all, also know about my partner and our life together. I refuse to speak in generalizations or change the gender when I'm talking about what's going on. I do not discuss my life with my clients, though, and some of the nosier ones are under the assumption that I'm engaged to a man. These are senior citizen counseling clients, and there is no good reason to get that personal with them.

While I am out and open, I do feel that my life is personal. Not everyone cares about me or supports me, so I do try to be aware of who I let in. If you know me on Facebook, though, you had better be prepared for some educating.

[Sparkle]

Yes. I've been out in every job I've held (bar one) since I was 19.
It was unsafe for me to be out at that one particular job; but I felt incredibly disingenuous none the less.

I feel strongly that I do not wish to work for anyone who is homophobic.
I get the outting out-of-the-way early by citing the work I did with Stonewall Lobby Group and other local queer non-profits on my curriculum vitae.

But I rarely out myself to my "clients"; if I am talking (with them) about myself/my personal life I am not doing my job well.

[Rockinonahigh]

Well beign as I started a new job a couple of weeks ago...so far nothing has been said about my queerness.Really they cant miss it,big pride ring on,wear mens clothes,deep voice ect.I work in a religious hospital so im waiting for it to come up but its not anyones buisness about my sexuality.U cn bet I wont deny it if it dose.

[Julie]

I am out at work
I am out at home
I am out at my children's school (from nursery to college)

The only time I have been told I could not be out with work - was when I was invited to Afghanistan. I can handle that. There are other countries in which I will travel to (third world) that I will not be out. I would face imprisonment or death.

[Rope]

Yes, I am out at work--and there are other queers there as well as one hottie femme <g>. Kinda hard to look like me and not be assumed to be a butch dyke. Also, I have the luxury of being out--I live in the San Francisco area, and there are lots of us here. I've always been out.

I don't so much see that we're trying to blend in by hiding what we look like but blend in so that people think we deserve Gay marriage. Not my words, the words of those 10 and 20 years younger than me. I think that many queers face discrimination so best to fly under the radar, not draw attention their way and I totally get that. You've got to do what's safe.

My roots are in counter culture, so fitting in and being the "norm" never occurred to me or seemed fun.

Rope--

[Corkey]

I've been out every where I've worked but one, the AF. This was before DADT when one could either not join or join and keep ones mouth shut. I was always obvious, but no one ever messed with me. At my MOS I wore a weapon, they knew better.

[Isadora]

Yes, everywhere.

[turasultana]

everyone i work with closely knows. if it comes up in any way with those i more casually associate with or on different teams i have no problem letting them know.

Once I'm staff instead of contract (next week) I'll be joining the LGBT group at our office. The company has domestic partnership benefits and a diversity policy that specifically calls out gay/lesbian/trans folk in terms of equal treatment/non discrimination etc. But it's a very large corporation so it kind of has to have those policies in place.

[oblivia]

I'm out at work... always have been. I just keep it basic. When I start a new job, I just put photos of me and my family up in my cubicle or whatever like anyone else would. I let people ask questions if they choose. I don't make a big deal out of it and I think because of that, others don't make a big deal out of it either (usually). ;)

[WhiteTigress]

As Timber said, I'm out at work.

I am a medical secretary, and I work for 3-4 physicians, and with a nursing staff of 11. They all know. It's not an issue. They've all met Timber, and like hir.

I don't normally out myself to patients, with the exception of when I'm working with lesbian couples. We do infertility work, and often a woman comes in with her "friend". When we are doing their paperwork for treatment, and I'm helping them with notarized documents, I let them know that I'm family in a subtle way, when it's really clear to me that they are a couple. I tell them that I hate that they have to sign documents that say they are a single woman, because our state won't acknowledge same sex couples as having rights to have children together. When they relax, I let them know that I'm family, too. It so often opens them up, and lets them feel more comfortable and reassured that they won't be judged in a negative way. I always wish them luck before I go. Sometimes they see me again, while in the office once they are pregnant. It's always special to me, when they take a moment to thank me. It's nothing that I do, but make them feel as at home as any other patient or couple. They have a right to a family, too.

WT

P.S. A couple of months ago, I was talking with a few of my nurses, and said something about being engaged. One of them said, "You can't be engaged. You can't get married." I told her, "Marriage is a ceremony to join two spirits, therefore, not only can I be engaged, I can get married. The government just won't recognize it." Others around looked at her and laughed at her for not thinking that far ahead. They had to agree with me.

[Venus007]

It hurts my heart to say I am not out at work. I am an educator and I live in a very conservative state and my boss, my boss's boss, and my boss's boss's boss are all religious zealots (and not the groovy kind).

I do not discuss my personal life with my coworkers because I don't want to lie to them. I have told a couple of people who I am friends with and they understand the need for discretion. I hate that I have to be closeted, I mean really hate it. I am just biding my time until I complete my master's degree and can find a job somewhere that it will be if not celebrated than at least ignored.
Cold comfort that.

[Laerkin]

A dear friend of mine is a gay male and he's a teacher at an elementary school. He is out with his coworkers and staff and they are very supportive because he's a great teacher and the kids love him. I think he's out with a few of the parents, but not all. It still impresses me since this is in Virginia.

I know you'll find a place that welcomes you completely! Don't lose hope! :)

It hurts my heart to say I am not out at work. I am an educator and I live in a very conservative state and my boss, my boss's boss, and my boss's boss's boss are all religious zealots (and not the groovy kind).

I do not discuss my personal life with my coworkers because I don't want to lie to them. I have told a couple of people who I am friends with and they understand the need for discretion. I hate that I have to be closeted, I mean really hate it. I am just biding my time until I complete my master's degree and can find a job somewhere that it will be if not celebrated than at least ignored.
Cold comfort that.

[lipstixgal]

Sadly I'm not out at work its an internship so I don't want to influence them in any way. But it is great that everyone else can be. Maybe when I get a full time position some place then I will come out!!

[LipstickLola]

I was "outed" at work, once the bruhaha died down, it was all good.
I'm pretty private, but ultimately all of my worlds collided.

[Leigh]

I've never really been out at work, but now with starting My new job tomorrow and beginning My transition this friday I'll have to be out atleast somewhat since I'll be going through My changes as I work

[sweetfemme247]

I am not out at work because alot of people judge me there already

[chefhmboyrd]

i was out at work before my transition and during.........
my company has a very comprehnsive diversity policy, covering sexual preference and gender identity.
there are a few people who were initially uncomfortable with my transition. i guess it was ok for me to be a big dyke, but when i became a man, it was a bit of an adjustment for them.
all in all, it as been a very positive experience.
i have even been promoted to management since i transitioned.
i love my job.
@

[Ebon]

I'm always out at work. I don't see any reason not to be. I mean I don't go flying a rainbow flag around or anything but if some nosey old lady asks me if I'm married or if I have a boyfriend I say no I am the boyfriend or I'm a homo I like women. There is no need for both of us to be uncomfortable, it might as well be her.

[Cyclopea]

Yes I have always been out at every job since I was 14 years old, even though I have worked in some awfully homophobic and sexist environments. It can be very tiring answering the questions of the sheltered and confused, and I admit in recent years my tolerance for educating folks has waxed and waned. Recently I am just as likely to say "Google it" as provide a diplomatic answer. After 30 years I'm tired of being a 24/7 diplomat for the gay community.

My physical appearance does not allow me the option to pass as heterosexual since I am read as "butch dyke". Heterosexuals I've known who "read" as gay are quick to mention their opposite sex partners in casual conversation so I guess if I wanted to create a fictional life I could try it. That might be fun! :lol2:

I know someone who invented a fictional baby so she could call out from work when she wanted because "the baby is sick". I always thought that was shocking- I guess because I tend to cultivate friendships among coworkers and don't want to lie to them.

I do think it's important for gays and lesbians to be out to everyone and feel that is what- more than any formal activism- has transformed broad public opinion in our favor. But it is tiring.
:rainbowAfro:

[DomnNC]

I've been out at every job except one and that being the US Army, back then there was no such thing as DADT, you told and you were dishonorbly discharged.

I've been out most of my life to my family. I've always been out to my clients as well (I own my own business).

If there was anyone in this town who didn't know prior to Nov 2007 they sure as hell know now. My wife passed away Nov 26, 2007, we were together nearly 17 years. I was listed as the surviving spouse and my parents were listed as her surviving "parents" as well in the small local paper as well as the larger paper of the big city we lived in. I was expecting some backlash perhaps at the funeral home because this is a small town but they were as gracious, accomadating and sympathetic as they come. They treated me and my wife with dignity. My clients sent flowers, a lot of them also attended her funeral as well. They were all great during this difficult time and they all saw that yes, we can have meaningful relationships and marriages as well.

My parents and my siblings were awesome as was the rest of my large family. All my brothers were pallbearers as they loved her very much. My parents flanked me on each side and held my hands as I was led down the aisle at the start of the service. The service itself was led by a femme lesbian minister. It was beautiful, loving and portrayed her as the deeply loved and lovely woman she was.

I wanted my family, my clients and anyone who wanted to be there to see that yes we exist, that yes we love, that yes we grieve and yes, our families are just like any other family.

[Miss Scarlett]

Have I gone as far as telling my current boss outright? No. I have a lovely string of rainbow crystals hanging from the mirror in my car and my "Pride Charlotte" sticker is in my rear window. The last time she rode in my car she closely examined those crystals and made no comment. We don't talk about our personal lives which, after my last boss Ms. TMI, is just fine with me. If she asks I will answer her truthfully. But I doubt that will ever happen. My boss is a lady who would never dream of poking around in my personal business. Not that it would matter to her anyway. There is a very out and proud attorney in town who happens to be gay and lives across the street from my boss. They are very close friends. She also used to work with an attorney who happened to be a lesbian.

I was out at my last job and it caused no problems. In fact she may have been a bad boss but she is a staunch supporter of the LGBT community and allowed me to work on things for Pride (and the half dozen other LGBT groups I was associated with) during my hours and use company resources like the copier.

The job prior to that - no way. In fact it was at that job where I knew I would be fired. But it was while I was working at this job when I became involved with Pride and several other LGBT groups. I knew that I ran a risk because the high visibility of some of the projects meant I would be in the mainstream media from time to time and really didn't care. If it cost me my job then so be it. (It has nothing to do with my job performance.) And it was while I was working here and taking this risk that my Mom told me that she and my Dad were proud of me - the first time I heard this from them in 47 years. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

[sylvie]

yes, i am out at work and in all aspects of my life..there are people at work who might not know, but that is probably due to the fact they don't know me much.. my friends there talk about it openly when i'm around and are comfortable with doing so..

i work with a cousin, my stepmother, an aunt and a few close friends.. so people know usually through them, especially my cousin, she loves gossip and feeding a good story to all, "hey, did you know..." lol.. if they ask me, i'd gladly tell them .. but of course no one really asks..

i've only had to tell a few - the word spreads around via them, or my cousin probably, lol. i have worked in some really homophobic environments in the past, so happy that my current job isn't like that at all.. although there are a few who don't like it, they just don't voice it but it's obvious in their actions...

[diamondrose]

At work, I don't put my buisness on the streets, but I also don't hide who I am. Also, at my job, there is not a lack of "family" and never has been. Overall, I do love to socialize and chatter my gums, but I keep to myself when it comes to my private life and others. I don't put myself out or into someone else's personal matters.

[JustJo]

I was on my enrollment information conference call about next year's benefits yesterday...more than 100 of us listening to the HR director.

She said...before we begin, I want to reiterate that if I slip and say "spouse" that also means "domestic partner"...so mostly I'm just gonna' try to say "your honey"...we all good with that?

Ever heard 100 voices all agree at once? :)

My company offers full and equal benefits to "my honey" and her son. Not only that, but she can earn the same incentives I can...which means they'll pay "my honey" $100 a month for using the free gym membership that they provide to both of us. Guess they want "my honey" to be healthy too. That's just how we roll. :hangloose:

Did I mention I love my company? So much for tales of corporate evil...

[oboejive]

I work for Fedex and have been for almost 2 years. While it has its annoying moments, the people I work with are awesome and trustworthy. All of them known I'm gay, and I even came out to my HR person (well....that's kind of a story in of itself). When I moved in with my partner, I was surprised to see that Fedex offers benefits to Domestic Partners. I think that it's awesome that they are open to diversity.

[nekohl]

I was out at work before I even started working there. I took my father's place when he retired and so everyone knew from him.
I'm treated as one of the guys/little sister by the guys. This means I am subjected to more burps and farts than I exactly care fore. :)

Other than that, my guys are cool. They don't get all pervy and ask about bedroom details. And the president of the company has made it clear that I am always welcome to bring a 'significant other' to company functions.

I have noticed that a couple of the girls in the back office get a little flirty with me even though they are married to men. I guess they think that since I'm a lesbian I would be into them? Lol I don't think they get that I'm not into girls who share their nail polish and make up tips with me. :D

[Abigail Crabby]

No one ever concludes I'm Queer unless I bring up the subject. Being taken for a straight woman is a curse to me, so I tend to speak up when it's assumed I'm the *little* woman and they ask about my husband.

My company is very progressive and offers domestic partnership health care, although the US doesn't allow it to be tax free as mine is, I'm happy that I've been able on ocassion cover my parter when I was partnered.

Been out in every job I've had since I first stepped outta dat closet.

[Jar]

I'm not sure I couldn't be

[msW8ing]

Being a 5'10" Amazon Femme with gay pride tattoos. I couldn't hide it. Not that I've ever wanted too. I'm out to everyone that spends more than 5 minutes talking to me. lol

[starryeyes]

Yep, 100%.... I work in a field that is full of us, though... so it isn't that difficult.

:aslpeacelove:
Starry

[BlindProfit]

there is still discrimination in my work place, so no one knows. I don't talk about my private life at all at work, so I don't know if anyone would know even if there was no discrimination. It doesn't really bother me, it doesn't change who I am, so I haven't really given it much thought. But I am single, so perhaps if I had a partner, I would want the benefits to cover them as well, and maybe then it would be an issue for me.

[Hunter Green]

A funny thing happened earlier in the week. My boss emailed me to ask if I knew someone she was with at a business conference out of state for the company. It turned out that the woman she asked me about and I had, in fact, worked on another project together.

When I asked my boss why she was asking I was shocked that she said she was thinking that maybe I would be interested in dating this other woman.

I thought it was sweet, but also a bit odd to have my boss trying to be a match-maker for me!

[princessbelle]

I am out more than I thought I would ever be at work. It's not common knowledge but I have told a few people that are close and then there are also some gay people there that are out and they know as well.

I don't discuss it for just any old reason. But, if someone is trying to fix me up (rme) as in wanting me to meet their brother for the 5th time (rme again) I finally just tell them so I can get on with things and try and hang out with the few that know my sexual preference without all that stuff.

My boss also knows because i felt that was important in case i am someday in a relationship and my partner or their family get sick/die etc.

I have been totally accepted by it all at least to my face. It makes me more comfortable and i'm glad i've at least told the few that I have.

Wrote this back in Sept last year. It's fun to go back and see past posts and see the amount of progress or changes we make in life isn't it?

Many at work know i'm gay now. I have found my company is very accepting however i am still somewhat careful with whom i tell. Mostly because it is no one's buisness unless "i" feel like it is.

Snacktime has met my boss, the office secretary and as a matter of fact also met my company's pastor (hospice clergy). They were very accepting and treated him with respect and ask about him from time to time and stuff.

It feels good to be accepted. It feels good to not hide. Now, just gotta work on the rest of the world.... *smiles.

[Red Dirt Girl]

Definately out. On the LGBTQRST advisory committee and we actually have "Gay Day" there! And it's not a queer organization. They just embrace the gays.

[Strappie]

I couldn't be more out at work...

The owner of our company, 2 sales people, and 3 warehouse people are gay out of 17 ppl. We have same sex beny's. Any work gathering we are all asked to invite our "partners/significant other" In fact the other owner is str8 he supports us and marches in Pride every year.

I couldn't be happier at a job!!

[Softly]

No

I came out to one girl, she surprisingly told me she had feelings for women. She left the company few months ago.

I haven't had to come out, or reason to.
I don't feel comfortable enough in my office to speak openly about it just randomly.

At my previous job, over a year ago, I was open, pictures all over. Its just a different environment and set of people.

I saw a woman with pride stickers on her car. I just feel warm inside knowing she's there.

[Jessica]

I am out at work. I don't hide it at all. There are a few of us at my job. We joke around with the straight people to watch out cause the rainbow attacks. Its nice to work with people who don't treat me any differently because of who i choose to be with. Hopefully my next job will be just as accepting as this one has been. :)

[sweetiefemme]

I do social work for a Catholic agency. I had to come out to my boss because a coworker kept saying "That is so gay". I finally had to tell her that she is a grown up, working in a professional job and it is unacceptable. So needless to say I am the gay one at the Catholic agency that is going to hell.

[CherylNYC]

I'm as out as I could possibly be. It's easy for me because I'm a freelance artist in NYC. I belong to a Union of artists with a high proportion of gay men, but not that many lesbians for some reason. If I can't be out I don't know who could be. My picture is in the paper fairly regularly after the Pride Parade, (they love to print pics of the women on motorcycles), so I would be out even if I never said a word.

I work with a rotating cast of coworkers who I may work with for months at a time, and then I may work with the same crew again for another several month stint, or I may not work with the same artists again for years. Because we're artists the environment is usually pretty open, and no one seems to feel the need to hold back about their lives. If it's been awhile we'll want to catch up with each other. I hear about my co-workers children, house projects, etc. They hear about my motorcycles, girlfriends (when I have them), and any other not painfully private details. My coworkers were unbelievably kind and supportive when I lost my partner, and again when I lost my girlfriend. Everyone just poured out their good will towards me.

Previous to working in my wonderful union full of artists, I worked in the stagehand's union as a carpenter/stagehand. The environment couldn't have been worse for a woman, much less a lesbian. I was very, very out anyway. Did I get harassed? You bet. Did I lose work? I'm sure of it. I was pretty cranky about being out no matter what the repercussions, and I have a smart aggressive mouth. I think it would have been even worse for me if those big ole bigoted men weren't perhaps a little bit apprehensive about facing my angry mouth. I'm SO glad that part of my life is long behind me.

[bigbutchmistie]

FYI I cant stand it when I hear that at my job "Thats so gay" turns my insides out and makes me fighting mad.. Ive had to tell my bosses about hearing individuals say that phrase. I am gay and I DONT appreciate it.. Ok stepping off soap box now... LOL

Yes, I am completely totally out. I wouldnt work somewhere I couldnt be. No my company doesnt march in gay parades. But I love it our annual sales meeting when the President and Vice President stand up every year and say I dont care your color sex if you are straight gay bi trans how you identify. I care about the JOB you do for us. And that always makes me feel good. I guess that's why Ive stayed there for so many years and made it my career. :)

[Red Dirt Girl]

Oh yeah, we have a booth at Pride every year too. :)
I couldn't be more out at work...

The owner of our company, 2 sales people, and 3 warehouse people are gay out of 17 ppl. We have same sex beny's. Any work gathering we are all asked to invite our "partners/significant other" In fact the other owner is str8 he supports us and marches in Pride every year.

I couldn't be happier at a job!!

[Random]

It's important to me that I work for a company where I'm going to be a good match with the company culture. (I have a very hard time staying at a job where I'm not happy)

So, I casually out myself during interviews. Generally when I'm asked about hobbies or how I balance work and home.. something like that... I meantion that my partner and I are foodies...

After experiencing the deep freeze of being I was a perfect match, skill set wise, but DID NOT in any way fit in to the company culture.. (Long time, close knit, go to church with each other employees) I would rather avoid it...

My last job, I was out to my company, but not all my clients... My long term clients, yes...we formed bonds/had a relationship.... but my occassional clients or one off's, no...They didn't need to know that much about me....

My new job... (Moma needed bennies) We have partner bennies and diversity is more than embraced... It's the company culture. (Love that the top level of executives are Women and POC)

I don't want to jinx my new job by getting too excited about it, but I'm sincerly hoping this is the company that I will retire from...heheh.... we have chapters and divisions ALL over the world and the mission is SUCH a good one...... (It's important to me that the work I do make a difference)

[Dean Thoreau]

glad u got bennies momma random and can be out.....at work

I am sort of out at work...well one look at me and u know..but working in a school system, a nice conservative republican one is not conducive to carrying the rainbow flag down the hallway.....
....so my coworkers, principal and the administrators etc all know.I do not hide it,,,,if asked what i did over the weekend I will say Wife and i went to.....or whatever.
.. i do not tell the parents of the kids, or the kids.....that is not what i was hired to teach the kids....sexuality comes under health...
and i am not the health teacher...would not want the union to get cranky....

everyone is pretty cool,,,even when i do run into a student and their parent at home depot when i am wearing my work boots, and cut off tshirt and shorts that is revealing all my tattos and the rainbow ball cap on my head,,,and the rainbow stickers on the truck..they dont seem to mind. (Of course the only difference between that outfit and what i wear at work is the shorts have hems and the shirts have sleeves.....and my sneakers match my clothes :) Once the students and parents get to know Dr Thoreau,,,and the parents see how much their kids love being in the docs class....there is no problem...those that have given me the stare at Back to School night in the beginning of the year usually by halloween parade are hanging out with me laughing at my crazy jokes.....since usually their kid is giving me a high five a hug or a ...secret password to enter my classroom signal...

:mohawk: .............. yes i have a mohawk now :) old fat grey haired butch with mohawk


and yes I love this wonderful career and will really miss it..when i retire.....next june (they are really cutting our school budget to shreds)
t

[tapu]

I've been out in the workplace since I had a workplace. I can't be with people every day and not have them know me. And if you don't know I'm gay, then you don't know me.

[Medusa]

I'm out at work. Way out.

I have been out at every job I've had since I was 17.

I work in a large company. We have 1500-2000 people on our particular campus and I am one of maybe 15 out GLBT folks. Many of the GLBT folks who are not out (but known to me from years in clubs or with volunteer orgs) are people who are very "old school" about their privacy or who are in upper management VP positions (perhaps fearful of their promotion opportunities even though our company has a good diversity policy)

I have brought Jackhammer to work with me and she has met my boss and several of my coworkers. I have photos of her on my desk and openly talk about our activities together. I probably would not work for a company where I had to hide myself or relationship.

[Debby]

I am out in all areas of my life. It takes too much work to censor myself.

[tapu]

Also, since I seem to fall into dating co-workers....

[Logicaly]

I am out at work, ever since I started this new job, its been great. I've always been out about being gay, however at my new job they are aware of my transition and are fully supportive of it, even if they don't always know how to handle every situation, they don't hesitate to ask me.

I am very fortunate, especially since we are a smaller company of about 30-40 people across all three of our offices. It helps also I am sure that I am not the only queer person here.

[JAGG]

Well let's see, I've been with the same company for 22yrs, if they haven't figured it out by now... My company has equal rights for everyone that includes sexual orientation. If you live in a state that gays can legally marry, then your spouse can be added to your medical and dental plan.

[JoSchmooze]

If I couldn't be out at work....
I wouldn't be working there,

I spent 10 years in the Army,back in the days of witch hunts...
Not doing that ever again...
Some times I just say....."well hell, look at me and just think about it"...


:cigar2::cigar2::cigar2:

[Novelafemme]

i'm out in life. :) work included.

[Jeep]

Halfway. There are people who know and people who haven't quite figured it out yet. I'm not the only one and it's not exactly a secret, but if they don't talk to me or hang out in the smoker's corner at break they don't have a reason to know. Also, one of the three supervisors is gay (and funny as hell) so they don't tolerate intolerance.

[IslandScout]

Yes, I'm out at work. I haven't experienced any discrimination or backlash, or even much interest. I have long hair, and wear dresses, or a skirt and blouse and heels every day, plus I'm older, so maybe when people see me it doesn't set off any "warning alarms." Ha, if they only knew! ;)

[Mr Nice Guy]

I'm sooo out at work that anyone standing next to me is gay too. Lol

[Cajun_dee]

I've been out at every job! Being an invisible femme people
assume i'm straight.

After sending empty boxes to myself so the UPS butch can come
See me several times they figure it out.

[claybaby]

all 21 years of my Nursing career, I was OUT! and PROUD! I have never, ever been harassed, heckled, or had any kind of hassles with my being gay. Even in public, with discreet PDA's. Even though I am retired, I am still OUT & PROUD! and still NO kind of issues anywhere I go...

[Scuba]

After sending empty boxes to myself so the UPS butch can come See me several times they figure it out.

This...is priceless! **chuckling**

[Scuba]

Out at work btw :)

[Okiebug61]

I have never been in or out. I know that will sound strange to some but I have always assumed that it was ok to be who I am and if people figure out I am a "lesbian" then good for them. I don't require them to let me know if they are straight therefore I have never considered it to be a requirement that I tell them I am lesbian.

[1QuirkyKiwi]

I’m Out and Proud at work; always have been. There aren’t many gays where I work…..there’s only two of us and he’s the Stone Mason, lol! I’ve not met with much prejudice and so many have said they would never have guessed, lol! The works annual Ball my partner has always been invited.

At work I try to maintain a high level of professionalism, especially as I deal with students, relatives, the Police, etc.

I’m Out and Proud at the Disabled Arts Studio. I’m the only Lesbian and there are three gay guys.

[Cajun_dee]

This...is priceless! **chuckling**

once our repair person was a butch, i kept *breaking* things in my office...

[thedivahrrrself]

I've been out at every job! Being an invisible femme people
assume i'm straight.


I'm out everywhere, but work is a particularly important place for me. I found that if you mention things in passing ("yes, these flowers are from my partner") rather than announcing ("I'm a big homo! How does that make you feel?"), things tend to go better. One of the most conservative places I ever worked, I simply put up a picture of my partner's Navy photo, and people would ask who it was. I would tell them, and then what were they gonna do? Criticize a veteran? LOL Worked great, and everyone treated me like the Big Gay SME (Subject Matter Expert), which I don't really mind. ("Yes, I know where drag queens put their thingies. No, I cannot fix your car, but I know 5 lesbians who can. Actually, there are hundreds of ways two women can have sex....")

[thedivahrrrself]

Oh, and I quoted Dee because I can totally relate. The last thing I want is a flood of bio-men hitting on the new girl! Femmes have to come out as a precautionary measure!

[Cajun_dee]

Oh, and I quoted Dee because I can totally relate. The last thing I want is a flood of bio-men hitting on the new girl! Femmes have to come out as a precautionary measure!

Yup and i went through a lot of crap at one job. My boss would whisper to the men as they came in that were nice to me *Dee's gay*... i was like will you STOP telling everyone that!

One of our foremen said to him * are you SURE she is gay???*

And of course the one who said *she hasn't met the RIGHT man yet*

at which i replied if we were the two people on earth, mankind would end with us.

[thedivahrrrself]

I always tell them, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that I just haven't met the right man yet, or worse, "I'm a lesbian too, trapped in a man's body", I'd be richer than Donald Trump. Guys can be SOOO original :phonegab:

Yup and i went through a lot of crap at one job. My boss would whisper to the men as they came in that were nice to me *Dee's gay*... i was like will you STOP telling everyone that!

One of our foremen said to him * are you SURE she is gay???*

And of course the one who said *she hasn't met the RIGHT man yet*

at which i replied if we were the two people on earth, mankind would end with us.

[Cajun_dee]

I always tell them, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that I just haven't met the right man yet, or worse, "I'm a lesbian too, trapped in a man's body", I'd be richer than Donald Trump. Guys can be SOOO original :phonegab:

i also tell them that men like them MADE me gay

[thedivahrrrself]

I tell them God made me a lesbian because I hate body hair so much. LOL

:flasher:

[deedarino]

Totally out to all co-workers, not out to my clients. In order for me to be effective, I don't dare add anything that will put up defenses. Although when I do the diversity training, I spend a few (lotsa) extra minutes on gay issues :giggle:

On the other hand, my co-workers are freaks. A bunch of straight women, but you wouldn't be able to tell...

[TimilDeeps]

I am so out at work; I'm in.

[aishah]

yes and no. i'm very out in my non-profit work. i don't hide the fact that i'm queer when i do sex work but since most of my customer base is straight men, i don't exactly trumpet it, either.

[spritzerJ]

I am out at work. To coworkers, bosses and such. Not to the parents of students I work with or the students. They are really unconcerned with my life. Heck most of the kids think I live at school :) It is a small town but so far so good.

[ArkansasPiscesGrrl]

I've been out at every job! Being an invisible femme people
assume i'm straight.

After sending empty boxes to myself so the UPS butch can come
See me several times they figure it out.

I came out at a late age, at 49. Being one of those "invisible femmes", I wanted EVERYONE to know, and it was almost like "Hi, my name is Ann and I am gay!" (OK, not really THAT bad, but pretty close! LOL)

Then that settled down a lot, but I was still determined to stay out in everything I did. I didn't advertise it (other than all the pride bumper stickers I had on my car in their parking lots), but I didn't hide anything either. I really didn't get hassled at all. My last company I worked for in FL before moving here and opening my own business, they all knew from right away, about my sexual orientation, about my being in recovery, etc. It actually helped me many times, since I worked in the behavioral health field.

I also got to be the "token expert" on all things gay. And yeah, I have had female co-workers (straight) try to hit on me. I have heard on many an occasion that I just don't LOOK gay at all!

[Princess]

I am out at work, although I wasn't for the first 2 years that I worked there. You just never know with people in kansas...well people anywhere really. I got tired of hiding it though and just kinda jumped out. Turned out everyone was really accepting and now the guys at work constantly crack jokes with me, I love it. :)

[TWolf]

I'm completely out at work... though I'm butch enough to trigger even the faultest gardar... totally funny when my last manager would get flustered everytime he'd call me "sir".... I work in a very accepting environment though... my computer has a pic collage of my gal, her son, and my son proudly displayed... and we attend company events as a couple...

[Just_G]

For me, the question is when am I NOT out, ANYWHERE I go? :blink:

I just started a new job at a huge engineering firm....I am positive that not one person that has seen me come and go from the building thinks I am straight.

Even though I didn't have to "come out" at work, there is still an awkward uneasiness around all of my female co-workers....not on my part though. I try to make conversation, but they just kind of turn and walk away. They don't make eye contact, and when it is time for a meeting that I don't know about, they leave me sitting in my cubicle and send one of the guys to get me.

I can honestly say that some days I wish I blended in and could go on about my business without the awkwardness. That will never happen with me.

It's funny, there is another thread on BFP about femmes having to come out all the time and how they are not noticed, and most of the time, I so wish I was NOT noticed so easily. It's like when you have straight hair and want curly hair or vice versa...lol

[genghisfawn]

I don't come out at a new job until I have firm friends. Right now I'm contracted to another company, working full-time on their site. When someone asks me if I'm seeing anyone or married or something, I respond with a subtle, "Eventually!" and a smile.

However, I had lunch with another division's manager when I first started with my company and it came up that I'd been engaged. She said at one point after that, "Don't be offended, but are you a lesbian?"

I was FLOORED. Not because she asked, because I don't really care, but that she actually read me as gay! Could it have been the sweatervest and blouse combo over no-nonsense trousers and shoes? I just said, "Yes... why, do I, you know, look gay or something?"

She said, "No, not at all. I have a sixth sense for these things."

She and I are totally friends and we're totally going shopping this week. :)

[apretty]

Yes, as I'm asked about my personal life I always correct the inevitable presumed heterosexuality--I don't offer personal information generally because it doesn't pertain to the job (and as I have a supervisory position I like a little distance), but I will share bits of who I am, as appropriate.

[Novelafemme]

Like, apretty, I am out at work (and everywhere) but I keep my personal life private as much as I can. At one point I had several coworkers as friends on facebook but I found it very awkward when they knew about my active social life outside of work and would comment on what I did over the weekend. I am a total contradiction when it comes to my privacy, lol. So, I "unfriended" them on facebook and keep my friend list to only those I know pretty darned well (and family).

I have pictures of Katy and I up in my office, as well as pics of my girls and other friends and family, and sometimes new people stop by my office and I catch them looking at the photos and then looking at me as the little light bulb goes off in their brains. ;)

[Quintease]

Not really, but then I am married to a man. Generally I like to scope out the situation before I come out, but sometimes it still doesn't help. I've come out in the past and experienced harassment (always from other women). I've also chosen not to come out in other jobs and regretted it.

My husbands not out to anyone but his boss. Foolishly he added one of his workmates to his facebook, only to have to 'out' me as bisexual after we made a mistake with his privacy settings. He has since deleted that person.

[SaltyButch]

I am totally out at work and have been in all the places that I have worked as an adult. It is not something that happens on the first day you walk in but after you have been able to gauge people's responses. I have been fortunate enough that my peers accept me and in fact have been educated to some degree because I am open to discussing most anything they may be wondering about.

[The JD]

I'm out at work. I just posted a pic of me at work- it's kind of obvious, I think...heh. But I've also addressed it with my coworkers at first indirectly, by not pretending to be single if I'm not and using the correct pronouns (and first name) when referring to my girlfriend... but also directly- once some see that I'm comfortable with it, they get comfortable enough to ask more.

The strangest example of this is the 60 year old coworker who said to me, "I heard a DJ using this word on the radio this morning, and I think it might be a gay thing. What's a 'carpet muncher'?"

After I spit my coffee out and got my laughter under control, I told her. :|

[TheresaD]

I sure hope so because I am f*cking my boss. Have been for nearly 7 years.
:thumbsup:

[MaggieBluIze]

In every fabulous way possible!!!!!

I :heartbeat: it!!!!

Turns out so is my supervisor, his supervisor and many of my coworkers!!!!!!! *big grin*