Privacy?

[little_ms_sunshyne]

Can I make my information and pictures private from non members?

[katsarecool]

Speaking of privacy; why are guests allowed into the forum to read? That kinda makes me feel icky!

[Gayla]

I can't link from my phone but there are some recent posts in the "Ask A Moderator" thread that address both these questions. :)

[Gemme]

Can I make my information and pictures private from non members?

The galleries are private. One has to be a member and signed in to see them. Your posts on the threads outside of The Inner Sanctum are public and can be found by anyone online, not just members here.

Sometimes we forget that this is still a part of the interwebz because the site feels so safe and cozy but we must always keep in mind not to post stuff that you wouldn't want just anyone seeing.

Speaking of privacy; why are guests allowed into the forum to read? That kinda makes me feel icky!

Guests are allowed in the public areas because how can those who need to find the site without being able to see the site? The site projects a positive image of our community, I think, and that means opening our collective arms to those who haven't found us yet. Of course, yes, there are going to be those who are less than stellar that find us, but overall, I think we've done great.

You found us! :cheesy:

[Point~Of~No~Return]

i have a question

i was reviewing the terms of service and i am down for and love this one but i have a question since i am considering getting a paid membership i was noticing that it allows you to be invisible

the TOS i have a question on is

"Drama - "Break-up posts", trolling, shit-stirring, stalking, or harassment of any member"

how do you know if you are being stalked or harassed if people can mask they are checking out your profile and can see you online with out your knowledge

just wondering thanks for any and all feedback


:flyingmonkey: :pointing:

[Corkey]

i have a question

i was reviewing the terms of service and i am down for and love this one but i have a question since i am considering getting a paid membership i was noticing that it allows you to be invisible

the TOS i have a question on is

"Drama - "Break-up posts", trolling, shit-stirring, stalking, or harassment of any member"

how do you know if you are being stalked or harassed if people can mask they are checking out your profile and can see you online with out your knowledge

just wondering thanks for any and all feedback


:flyingmonkey: :pointing:

You can see who is checking out your profile, the ones who are invisible are not invisible to the mods. They see everyone, so if you have concerns I would suggest contacting one of them.

[Point~Of~No~Return]

ok so you will be able to tell if invisible people have visited your profile then?

[Corkey]

ok so you will be able to tell if invisible people have visited your profile then?

Only if you get the Sentinel subscription.

[Point~Of~No~Return]

ok cool so there is a way to protect yourself from those behaviors

thanks for the input!

[Corkey]

ok cool so there is a way to protect yourself from those behaviors

thanks for the input!

Actually there is no way to protect yourself from anyones online behavior only ones own behavior. Someone visiting your profile is not necessarily doing so against the TOS. But you still have the option to report them and let the Mods handle it.

[Point~Of~No~Return]

Ok it is always good to know though

that was one of the questions i had about membership since there are the terms of service how do you prove it with the invisibility status

any other tips or suggestions for online safety on your site?

[Corkey]

Ok it is always good to know though

that was one of the questions i had about membership since there are the terms of service how do you prove it with the invisibility status

any other tips or suggestions for online safety on your site?

There is no such animal as online safety on any site. Anyone can read anyone else's posts except for the red zone and another forum. So if you are expecting to be invisible, that isn't going to happen. Your posts are still going to be visible.

[Point~Of~No~Return]

it is just nice to know that the serious nature of problems are handled by the administrators of the website the terms of service are awesome

i was directed to this website from a friend and i find it to be a safe area to go

i am sure others feel comfort knowing that the moderators and administrators are stern on the rules and privacy of others

the gossip, across domains, it gives a comforting feeling i am happy and excited to be here!

thank you for the information

[Point~Of~No~Return]

thank you all so much for your input!!

i really enjoyed this topic and answers

[Point~Of~No~Return]

awesome to know!

[Passionaria]

I am confused about some terminology that comes up at times regarding some of the "privacy issues".

With the internet being public domain, anything you write on a public forum as I understand it becomes public information. Just Google your screen name and put in butch femme lol it's out there. I google myself frequently because of the nature of my work, and believe me it's all out there. So while this is a group unto it's self, because it's the internet I think we need to keep in mind that once we hit submit, our sharing's are now recorded public information. HMMM makes one think, right?

So participating on the internet is not private. Reading can be, but written information is not, this includes profiles, forum posts, anything written down. I believe images as well.

My next thought in this convo is the loose usage of the word "stalking". This being a public forum, we all wonder who is on here, and what they are about. That's why we read each others posts, look at profiles, comment etc. There are some eloquent writers and really funny people on here. People with strong opinions as well as those looking for love or new friends. It's all part of the online community experience. So if someone is interesting in their online presence, it may attract onlookers, followers even. This is not stalking, in my mind. LOL look at my profile all you want follow my posts, it's a compliment isn't it? I know there are people on here who's expressions interest me, and at times I will go see what they have been up to. Isn't that part of what an online community is all about?

Where we cross the line in my mind is when a member is being verbally attacked, or contacted PERSONALLY via forum or PM by someone who's behavior is bothersome or threatening. I think this is where stalking comes in. And intervention may be necessary. I think it's important to be clear about this. We all joke about who's stalking who today, and I always understood that to mean they were interested in what you are saying or doing, like it's a fun thing.

I guess my point in all of this is if a person is not contacting you personally, harassing you directly or indirectly, take a deep breath and enjoy the public sharing. The question then becomes does one feel safe sharing themselves in a public place, where what is written and shared can and will be seen by others basically when ever they want. I understand some people have reasons for being private, and needing to feel safe, so you have to know you are ready for all this.....

Anyway,
xoxox Pashi (who knows this can be google-ed)

[Chancie]

So I did a search on 'chancie', 'butch', and 'femme', and an archived birthday thread from the old site came up, and boy, was that bittersweet.

[The Oopster]

Okay -- We just did a test.

In addition to being a Moderator, I am also a paid Sentinel member. I never use the invisible thing, but we created a new test member and I went invisible.

I visited that profile three times, and Medusa (as the test member) could see three visits, but not by who.

So, if you are a Sentinel member and another Sentinel member visits your profile, you can see they were there.

If you are a non-paid member, or at the BFP Supporter I or II (And we appreciate you all equally!) if a Sentinel member visits your profile, you will not be able to see it.

Moderators or Admins, regardless if they have a paid membership can see who has been in your profile, even if you can't.

out of curiosity can the mods and admins see how often someone visits the profile or just that they have visited it?

[suebee]

Canadian currency at par I presume?

[Point~Of~No~Return]

I think these are really good examples, Pashi. Just looking at someones profile or posts is not "stalking" them. If you have a bad relationship with them, or they are your estranged ex, then while I don't necessarily think it's stalking (but could be) it is at the very least, creepy. Why do you care what someone you don't like has to say unless you are actively trying to find fault, mock them or make them feel uncomfortable?

If we choose to post something here, it can be read. Do I think it's okay to post it elsewhere without asking permission? No. That's creepy too. We can either decide to put ourselves out there with a good heart and the hope that folks reading it will have good hearts and no malicious agenda, or hide our sunny little hearts under a rock ;)

^5

we can all hope that there is no malicious intentions of another

it's just nice to know that the forum takes their terms of service seriously it gives a very comforting feeling

but the main question was for the being invisible

[The Oopster]

That's classified.

Please insert another quarter.

i'm not that curious!

[Point~Of~No~Return]

i'm not that curious!


LMAO!

Ok i'll give you 50cents

[Ginger]

Wow, I had no idea that different membership levels have different privacy levels, that the "higher" up you are, the less able others are, to see where you visit on the site, if I'm understanding correctly.

Heightened invisibility, then, becomes a kind of reward? That's intriguing. In the city where I live, class differences determine levels of privacy. Having private outdoor space is a luxury beyond what most people can dream of. Even having yoru own room, in many families, is both an experience of privacy and a determinate of class status.

Privacy, exposure—really interesting things to think about.

[Apocalipstic]

I did not realize it bothered anyone if members were invisible, now that I know...I will remain visible.

[dixie]

Hmm...I'm a sentinel. I keep myself set on invisible simply because I'm a nerd like that.

I never really thought about it as being "private" though, because I am fully aware that at least SOMEONE (actually multiple folks) can see anything I do at any time.

Whether it be admin, mods or other sentinel members, I am truly *not* invisible.

The minute I post, it's viewable to everyone.

I am exposed the minute I log on to this site, and any other site I visit.

The only way anything will ever be truly private, is if it's kept in your head.

[dixie]

I did not realize it bothered anyone if members were invisible, now that I know...I will remain visible.

Now see, I'm a little different.

For me, I have that odd, cynical conspiracy theory mind. So when someone says to me that it bothers them that I'm invisible, it makes me wonder why they feel the need to monitor the activities of others.

"I don't like that I can't see you unless you post" for example.


I can understand if folks have legitimate concerns such as stalkers or whatnot, but in general? I see no harm or no issue with folks being invisible. Yeah, I donated and have that option. That was choice. For a long time, I didn't have that option. Did it bother me that others did? Not a bit.

[Ginger]

I don't see anything wrong with invisiblity being a perk for paid members. I think people should get rewarded for membership!

I didn't even know paid membership was an option here (I just joined). I must have missed it. Someone said they don't push it and there you go; I didn't even notice it, it's so un-pushed.

It did feel kind of funny when I realized every time I visited someone's profile, I left a calling card in the form of my screen name on their "who last visited" list. I felt sort of exposed.

But on the other hand, I like seeing who has visited my profile—I guess I can't have it both ways (unless I join).

Nice to have a choice...

I have no idea where I'm going with this, just commenting, taking it in.

[Apocalipstic]

Now see, I'm a little different.

For me, I have that odd, cynical conspiracy theory mind. So when someone says to me that it bothers them that I'm invisible, it makes me wonder why they feel the need to monitor the activities of others.

"I don't like that I can't see you unless you post" for example.


I can understand if folks have legitimate concerns such as stalkers or whatnot, but in general? I see no harm or no issue with folks being invisible. Yeah, I donated and have that option. That was choice. For a long time, I didn't have that option. Did it bother me that others did? Not a bit.


I could care less who sees me actually, I just thought it was so freakin cool when I won the lifetime membership and had more options!!! I love options.

I am not and have never tried to sneak around on here lol, but have heard the invisible thing mentioned by several people several times...so some people give wayyyyyyy more thought than I ever have. ;)

[Ginger]

I could care less who sees me actually, I just thought it was so freakin cool when I won the lifetime membership and had more options!!! I love options.

I am not and have never tried to sneak around on here lol, but have heard the invisible thing mentioned by several people several times...so some people give wayyyyyyy more thought than I ever have. ;)


So now everyone is making me wonder if I would participate differently on the site, if I were invisible. Is that what we used to call "lurking"? But "lurking" has negative connotations, and I think the invisibility we're talking about here, since condoned, and consensual in that everyone knows the deal, doesn't have any ethical problems associated with "lurking."

[LaneyDoll]

So now everyone is making me wonder if I would participate differently on the site, if I were invisible. Is that what we used to call "lurking"? But "lurking" has negative connotations, and I think the invisibility we're talking about here, since condoned, and consensual in that everyone knows the deal, doesn't have any ethical problems associated with "lurking."

I know that I would be likely to. A lot of times, I will see that someone looked at my profile so I look at theirs. Or they have something interesting to say so I want to check them out further. But, knowing that they can see me look, makes me less willing to do so. I don't want there to be any assumptions about my intent since it is more curiousity than anything else.

:sparklyheart:

[Corkey]

I don't care as to who visits my profile, the only one I do care about is my wife. Folks are gonna look folks up to post on their profile page so it automatically shows up, unless one is invisible. It's just an operating feature of the site.

[dixie]

So now everyone is making me wonder if I would participate differently on the site, if I were invisible. Is that what we used to call "lurking"? But "lurking" has negative connotations, and I think the invisibility we're talking about here, since condoned, and consensual in that everyone knows the deal, doesn't have any ethical problems associated with "lurking."

Invisibility had no effect on my participation. I lurk whether I'm invisible or not (not in a bad way, I just like the term) lol

[Toughy]

Can a Sentinel (or above) member see who is invisible? If Apocalipstic is invisible, is she invisible to everyone or just invisible to those who don't have that capability?

I always took lurking to mean following a thread without posting in it.

And then there is 'threading stalking' a person. I thread stalk June because I like to read what she writes.....I have a long standing crush on the poodle and can't help myself....meaning I click on her name and click on the see more posts and then read everything she writes in every thread.

Going to the way back machine and seeing what Toughy posted 10 years ago is an eye opening experience...........laughin.....

[apretty]

yes but, do you pronounce it, 'prehvacee' or 'priiiiivacy'?

[girl_dee]

Sometimes i click a name somewhere along the line and end up on a profile by accident, and i figure that could be how they showed up on mine, i have never felt icky about anyone "being" on my page at all, what's to see anyway? Maybe i am just too boring!


i love the *who's online* function, i love that where we are lurking can be seen by anyone. i have made several posts and then sat viewing who's online and saw someone checking out all my posts, made me feel kinda special :)

i do follow some people because i find them interesting, or want to see what DaddiB is up to :heartbeat:

[girl_dee]

Sentinels and Lifetime members can see folks who are also Sentinels and Lifetime members, even if they choose to use the invisibility feature. They show up with a * behind their name on the member list to the left for me. The Mods and Admins can see everyone who's online at anytime, even if they're invisible.

dixie* <---like that.

We can also see what folks are doing in the "Who's Online". That's why sometimes you'll get a little note from one of us because we feel you're spending too much time searching the posts of your ex, or your exes new "friend" when we've asked you not to.

Who else wonders what Toughy wants? ;)


*Friend* ? that's cute, my mom still uses that. Hehe

[JustJo]

Sometimes i click a name somewhere along the line and end up on a profile by accident, and i figure that could be how they showed up on mine

I do this ALL the time...and always end up feeling like I should leave a visitor message that says "sorry, butterfingers again :blink: "

[girl_dee]

I do this ALL the time...and always end up feeling like I should leave a visitor message that says "sorry, butterfingers again :blink: "

me too, sometimes i say *drive by HELLO!!!!*

maybe butterfingers would be better :|

[Martina]

i always click on Toughy's name to see what she's reading. She reads everything and finds the interesting threads. i am way too lazy to do that so i just draft off of her. Seriously, if i didn't stalk her, i woulda missed some good threads.

[DapperButch]

I like to refer to Kat as my "Special Friend" she loves that.

I think I have talked about this before, but I'm old, so I will again.

Back on the Dash site, I found the who's online thing by accident and was HORRIFIED that people could see where I was. I always wanted to go into the Butt Sex thread and read it, but I didn't want anyone to see me.

Now, I'll go anywhere.

I didn't even know there WAS a "who's online" on the dash site until this moment (speaking of which I didn't even know what the hell it was on this site, until tantalizing femme pointed it out to me)!

[Medusa]

HA! This kinda reminds me of watching the "anal fisting" thread and snickering. ;)

[Apocalipstic]

So now everyone is making me wonder if I would participate differently on the site, if I were invisible. Is that what we used to call "lurking"? But "lurking" has negative connotations, and I think the invisibility we're talking about here, since condoned, and consensual in that everyone knows the deal, doesn't have any ethical problems associated with "lurking."

I don't care as to who visits my profile, the only one I do care about is my wife. Folks are gonna look folks up to post on their profile page so it automatically shows up, unless one is invisible. It's just an operating feature of the site.

Ehhh I just post and don't worry until I see threads like this, then I may or may not have a moment of paranoia. lol

[Sachita]

I have the same people that show up on my profile. I really don't care who sees me, stalks my threads, etc. The only one that creeps me out a bit is someone who is seeing someone I dated. She's probably even reading this now. ahahaha I'm not sure why but I seem to fascinate her.

But I know that some people do because they enjoy the same things I'm into. I get rep notes telling me so.

I don't know why I choose to be invisible. Its an option I have and I use it. I don't really care if people know what I'm reading or stalk me.

[Queerasfck]

I'm invisible right now. Watching all of you......

[Soft*Silver]

I rather despise the fact that paid members can be invisible. It feels like I am not worthy of protection as an unpaid member. I know I am spied upon. There is a name that NEVER leaves my visitor list. But i also wonder who else watches me silently. It almost feels like how a set of dogs attacks..one from the rear, one in the front.

Yet I remain present. And I do not stop saying anything I want to say. If people want to keep tabs on me, so be it. I just hate that they can use that feature to do so. If I had the means to pay for a membership, i would, so i wouldn't feel shadowed. But not being able to isnt enough to keep me away from a site that otherwise, i feel comfortable in.

I go in the butt and fist threads. Hahaha. I make sure my silent watchers get their monies worth....

[girl_dee]

I have the same people that show up on my profile. I really don't care who sees me, stalks my threads, etc. The only one that creeps me out a bit is someone who is seeing someone I dated. She's probably even reading this now. ahahaha I'm not sure why but I seem to fascinate her.

But I know that some people do because they enjoy the same things I'm into. I get rep notes telling me so.

I don't know why I choose to be invisible. Its an option I have and I use it. I don't really care if people know what I'm reading or stalk me.

i don't care either and i find it amusing that they do as i hardly post anything juicy :)

[apretty]

I want to speak to your accusations and loaded words, here.

There's some really strong, fierce individuals on this site that 'protect' themselves and each other as needed, daily. If you were treated unfairly or badly in some real situation I and many others would readily come to your defense, despite your conclusion that as a result of a paid-user option, you live in fear of being strategically attacked by a pack of dogs.

This is to say nothing of the real and actual concern that the site administrators give every member on a daily basis. Meaning that your accusations are offensive, given the spirit of the site, and that the owners and the administrators are people I know to care about you and every other member, long after most people would lose interest or tolerance for each of our mini-dramas, our bad days, our exes and their exes, real and imagined, etc.

Those are a couple of things that you might consider, or not.

I rather despise the fact that paid members can be invisible. It feels like I am not worthy of protection as an unpaid member. I know I am spied upon. There is a name that NEVER leaves my visitor list. But i also wonder who else watches me silently. It almost feels like how a set of dogs attacks..one from the rear, one in the front.

[Novelafemme]

I rather despise the fact that paid members can be invisible. It feels like I am not worthy of protection as an unpaid member. I know I am spied upon. There is a name that NEVER leaves my visitor list. But i also wonder who else watches me silently. It almost feels like how a set of dogs attacks..one from the rear, one in the front.

Yet I remain present. And I do not stop saying anything I want to say. If people want to keep tabs on me, so be it. I just hate that they can use that feature to do so. If I had the means to pay for a membership, i would, so i wouldn't feel shadowed. But not being able to isnt enough to keep me away from a site that otherwise, i feel comfortable in.

I go in the butt and fist threads. Hahaha. I make sure my silent watchers get their monies worth....

I have to wonder why you feel so watched, Miss_Tia? And what about someone visiting your page is so threatening to you? I visit a gazillion pages a day (just because I'm nosey like that) and the few times someone has questioned my intent, I simply answer honestly and make a mental note to respect said person's privacy.

I'm not sure if I am still invisible, but for a while I very much appreciated being able to log in here and know not everyone could see which threads I was visiting and where I was on the site. It was a vulnerable time for me. Now I don't feel so sensitive and I don't mind being observed in such a manner.

It is tricky trying to navigate the same space your ex occupies, but it can be done. For me the process has been about learning not to read everything through a "me" lens. And then, of course, being respectful of their right to move forward as they see fit, and vs-vs.

No one here has ever resembled a pack of dogs to me. I'm sorry you feel that way.

[foxyshaman]

I don't have any problems on here. After reading this thread, and this is the first time I have, I find the conversation interesting. Apparently, I am not that interesting. I don't think anyone follows me around.

Wait... :glasses:.... I could take that personally and be all :worried:... I...:scared:... could be boring... :eyebrow:

[vixenagogo]

i do think that some people use the *invisible* feature with questionable intent. whether it is "spy" "keep tabs on" or to "silently intimidate" i have no real idea. if someone feels the need to have their travelings stealth...well that's cool. i am not a paid member. so the only way i know that someone is "squatting" on my profile is having a paid member look at my profile and tell me who is a permanent "resident". can i do anything about it? no. just ignore it. it is kind of creepy when they show up as viewing your profile on other sites though.

people are going to be curious and look. it's just how it is. but to discount how it makes someone feel...regardless of the metaphors used to describe those feelings... is not for us to decide right or wrong.

[justkim]

Invisi or not... does it really matter? If you have the funds to afford a membership so be it. If I could afford it I would be a paying member, but I can't at this time. Does that mean I can be pissy because someone has something I want? NO!
When I post from my phone I usually end up going to someones profile since my phone is a pos... I don't know how many times I have ended up on Daywalkers page while trying to view the Zombie thread... does that mean I am checking up on someone? Not so much, it means I have usually hit something I shouldn't have and alas I end up on someones profile... I don't think about it and just leave. If it concerns someone so much about who is checking them out then by all means ask... don't assume that they came for ill intent... Please if you are going to stop by my page leave a message... It could make for some interesting reading for those that wander around the profiles trying to learn something about the other people in the community...

[Novelafemme]

I think to some of us who do have paid subscriptions and have utilized the invisible option, posts such as Miss_Tia's can read as somewhat accusatory. There are many reasons behind someone wanting to remain anonymous while perusing the forums and I have to trust that relatively few are, by nature, malicious.

When it comes to anything of a hierarchical nature it can be tremendously difficult to defuse a potential "us against them" environment.

[Toughy]

I rather despise the fact that paid members can be invisible. It feels like I am not worthy of protection as an unpaid member. I know I am spied upon. There is a name that NEVER leaves my visitor list. But i also wonder who else watches me silently. It almost feels like how a set of dogs attacks..one from the rear, one in the front.

Yet I remain present. And I do not stop saying anything I want to say. If people want to keep tabs on me, so be it. I just hate that they can use that feature to do so. If I had the means to pay for a membership, i would, so i wouldn't feel shadowed. But not being able to isnt enough to keep me away from a site that otherwise, i feel comfortable in.

I go in the butt and fist threads. Hahaha. I make sure my silent watchers get their monies worth....


little paranoid darlin??

I am a paid member, but not at a level that allows me to be invisible.

Have you contacted that individual and asked why they 'NEVER leave your visitor list'? Have you reported your concerns about the individual that 'NEVER leaves your visitor list' to the site owners/moderators?

You do realize that your post makes me want to go to your profile page at least once every day and figure out who this 'NEVER leaves your visitor list' might be. Matter of fact, after I hit the reply button I will make a visit to your profile page......shaking my head....

[Cin]

Maybe I’m missing something. I admit to being a bit odd so things that most people get easily, believe emphatically or see as reality I will probably not understand, think is crap or have a completely different take on. But to me it makes no sense to be concerned or feel unsafe or unprotected when people read what you post or look at your profile on a public forum. I mean this is a public forum and no one forces anyone to post on it. But once you do anybody and their grandmother can read whatever you post here without ever signing in. They can follow you around without you ever knowing they exist and read every single word you ever write, all day and all night, over and over a hundred times if they wish. And you might never know.

People who pay for memberships can do the same with the extra added bonus of not leaving a trail and getting to see your profile and your visitor’s page without showing up on it. Other members can just go to see your profile any time they want although they will leave a calling card so to speak. And everybody can read what you post with the exception of must be a member and logged in sections like the red zone. So anything you post there won’t be read by anyone who isn’t a member. But it doesn’t take a lot of fancy credentials and a background check by the FBI to get a membership. Therefore in reality, with a minimum of effort, anyone who wants to can read anything you post and your profile as well.

What puzzles the shit out of me is if this bothers someone in any meaningful way, why would they choose to post stuff on a public forum? Or fill in a profile page? I mean isn’t that the purpose of posting or putting stuff on your profile page? Isn’t it so that other people can read it? Isn’t this even the outcome that is hoped for? I mean how would it feel if no one ever looked at your profile page? That would suck a bit no? Or if no one ever read your posts? I mean sure, mostly I post for myself, but still I want people to read what I write. And I don’t need them to agree. I don’t even need them to like me or me to like them. Not that I can think of anyone off the top of my head that I don’t like. Truthfully I don’t know too many people on here. But regardless of who it is, I still want them to read what I write. I mean we can’t expect that only the people we like or approve of will be allowed to read our words. Or look at our public profile.

And what could possibly happen that we would need to be protected from people who go to read our profile? Even if they camp out there? It’s not like they can set booby traps for us and the next time we open our profiles our computers will explode or god forbid our keyboards blow up leaving our hands and fingers in shreds. I guess the people who don’t like us can glean information about us from the things we say, the threads we post in, the stuff we chose to read and the people who friend us, but seriously what can they do with this information? Other than make fun of us, talk about us with their friends behind or not so behind our backs, spread gossip and rumours about us and generally take every opportunity to bad mouth us whenever and wherever they can, what can they actually do? And the people who want to do shit like that will do it anyway with or without access to your posts, your profile or information about the threads you read.

[clay]

well spoken, Miss Tick!
I have one person who visits my page...every single day...but is a futile visit as what is there to see is limited to contacts and admin/mods!! It bothers me NOT!!! Besides I think that person has a secret crush on me..why else would they need a daily visit..grins...(make it a positive experience!!!)
I totally agree with you...we all know it is a public forum, and we all know what we post is accessible by anyone....so why post if you are worried about being read by anyone else?
It doesn't bother me that the benefits of higher paid memberships have the "invisible" feature. That is one of the perks of the extra membership level. Anyone who chooses has that opportunity. Of course, I am not able to afford a paid one at this time, so I am quite pleased we do have the free one available, and I have never been treated any differently than the paid members are. I am most grateful to Admin. for this perk...CIJS I LOVE the Planet!!!
I also fail to see how it is "stalking" if one chooses to read someone's posts, or maybe goes to visit their page...I go look at profiles or to leave a visitor's message...as I can't always "remember" where they may live, or I may go to click on their statistics page to follow their posts...we have some amazingly talented writers, and some people who are just beautiful with their words.....wit...and knowledge....I don't see the fact I go to read their posts, or subscribe to them, that is "stalking"....I don't think along those lines...I think along lines of "gee I sure do like their posts, or gee I sure do love their wisdom....instead of a negative sense. And I am an open book, so I write from my heart and want others to read it if they enjoy my words. It is flattering to me if they do visit my page, my posts, and leave me user reps..or not.
Anyway, my point is..if I don't want to be seen, then I don't stand in front of a window!...smiles....

[apretty]

There's a minimum of 5 members (that I can see) that have recently looked at my profile--I don't know them, I think nothing of it--I hardly think they have sinister intentions, maybe they found a post interesting/stupid/amazing/strange, maybe they want my body and want to know if I'm single, maybe they're just curious about other members of the community in other parts of the world--Maybe they wonder how E puts up with me! (My therapist doesn't allow the what-if game so I am really going to town, here!)

Also, I randomly look at profiles and also think nothing of it--I had NO IDEA that it caused some such duress, I guess I didn't think anyone thought of me as important enough to think about, let alone apply some meaning over a peek at their profile--Which could even have been accidental as (the same with what someone else posted, above) if I have a few minutes to kill and I use my phone to read the site, I will likely have viewed a couple of profiles, unintentionally.

*Given this new information, I will try not to antagonize anyone by reading their super-secret profile with my spidery eyes.

[UofMfan]

There's a minimum of 5 members (that I can see) that have recently looked at my profile--I don't know them, I think nothing of it--I hardly think they have sinister intentions, maybe they found a post interesting/stupid/amazing/strange, maybe they want my body and want to know if I'm single, maybe they're just curious about other members of the community in other parts of the world--Maybe they wonder how E puts up with me! (My therapist doesn't allow the what-if game so I am really going to town, here!)

Also, I randomly look at profiles and also think nothing of it--I had NO IDEA that it caused some such duress, I guess I didn't think anyone thought of me as important enough to think about, let alone apply some meaning over a peek at their profile--Which could even have been accidental as (the same with what someone else posted, above) if I have a few minutes to kill and I use my phone to read the site, I will likely have viewed a couple of profiles, unintentionally.

*Given this new information, I will try not to antagonize anyone by reading their super-secret profile with my spidery eyes.


I am not going to divulge why sometimes I look a yours. (profile that is)

But on a serious note, if you want privacy, get off the internet. Not YOU apretty, but the general you.

[Corkey]

Reiterating...there is NO such animal as internet privacy. It does not exist, ever.

[girl_dee]

that list of people on our profile pages COULD be people like me who click a name by accident on a post, or like Kim said trying to post from the (i)phone in tiny itty bitty font. It's easy to end up on SOMEONE's page with NO intent at all.

i don't recognize half the folks on my list either, and if my ex, my exes (sort of) ex and current friend, (both on this site) or the exes new gf (also on this site), the exes new gf's ex (no idea i just threw that in) my ex friend (on this site), my friend again ( still on this site, we reconnected), my long time friend (on this site) or my mother (not on this site) want to look at my *page* so be it. i don't even feel comfy calling it MY page, is a page on a website that i get to use, it's not like i bought the damn page anyway. i have full confidence that the site would take care of business if anyone tried to hurt a hair on our heads. Watching people who try to do internet harm being banned is the best deterrent for the rest of the population here to behave. i think they handle it well and one day i am going to get that ex/new/new ex lover float chart to June.

i know all of these people are here and i love this site so sharing the same space can be weird but hey welcome to the internet.

i am here knowing i have limited privacy and my words can be read by the entire world, if i wanted 100% privacy i would not be online at all. If i were vain enough to think the world wanted to read my words i would still not care if they did or not.

[Toughy]

clay....

the only thing missing from your profile page is the ability to leave visitor messages (folks can leave a user note) and your contact info (you have chosen not to receive PMs). All your other info is there for all to see.

[Sachita]

i don't care either and i find it amusing that they do as i hardly post anything juicy :)

I think your stuff is juicy!

[Sachita]

well said Ms Tick!

I'm also thinking that this is a forum of social networking, right? We share, meet, support and want to know others. There's stalking and then there's curious. Some people I find more interesting and enjoy seeing what they are up to.

[Just_G]

I figure if they are lookin' at my page, they are curious as to who I am, wanting to read my profile, or checking to see if I posted anything. Feel free to look...I sure don't mind.

As for the ones that keep coming back to look....they must see something they like or they can't get me out of their head and have to come back for more every day...lol :winky:

I don't put anything out there that I don't want people to see anyway...that would be asking for trouble! :mohawk:

I had an incident a few years ago where the girl I was dating here in town saw that I was horsing around with my BFFF in the "Dear" thread where a bunch of us were posting all silly like we do, being schmoopies. The girl read that and printed screen shots of the conversation so she could accuse me of cheating on her. :blink:

It was NUTZ! No matter how I explained it, she was pissed. I really felt like my privacy was invaded, but it is right there where anyone and everyone can read it.

[Toughy]

Maybe I’m missing something.

I snipped the rest of your post......it was far too logical. Logic never runs high on the list of folks who think there is privacy on the interwebz.

[DapperButch]

Who even looks at their own profile everyday? I only look at mine if it says I have a message on the corner of the front page. Even then, I don't think it is very often that I even look over to see who has been on my page. Why would I care? If they have something to say, they will leave a message, and said indicator will tell me to take a look!

[Chancie]

I have an unusual first name, et voila, the rest is history.

[clay]

hey Toughy:
I can, and do receive PM's but only from my friends/contacts I accept!!!
As for all the other info...it isn't anything anyone can do anything with...grins...
Thanks for the information..I am so NOT savvy with this tech stuff! I LOVE your posts, BTW! Yea, I "stalk" you, too...lol...do you mind? Have an awesome day....Clayclay....

the only thing missing from your profile page is the ability to leave visitor messages (folks can leave a user note) and your contact info (you have chosen not to receive PMs). All your other info is there for all to see.

[Cin]

Who even looks at their own profile everyday? I only look at mine if it says I have a message on the corner of the front page. Even then, I don't think it is very often that I even look over to see who has been on my page. Why would I care? If they have something to say, they will leave a message, and said indicator will tell me to take a look!

I used to look every so often, but nobody comes to visit anymore. I wish I had people camping out. Or even just coming by to say hey! You wouldn’t catch me complaining. I love company. Visible, invisible, whatever, come on over.

[Queerasfck]

Who even looks at their own profile everyday? I only look at mine if it says I have a message on the corner of the front page. Even then, I don't think it is very often that I even look over to see who has been on my page. Why would I care? If they have something to say, they will leave a message, and said indicator will tell me to take a look!
Well I'm disappointed!!!

I went to your profile to gawk and ogle you and I couldn't even leave a visitor message. How am I supposed to cruise you if I can't leave a message.

(w)

[clay]

Well I'm disappointed!!!

I went to your profile to gawk and ogle you and I couldn't even leave a visitor message. How am I supposed to cruise you if I can't leave a message.

(w)

IKR!!! grins

[foxyshaman]

I figure if they are lookin' at my page, they are curious as to who I am, wanting to read my profile, or checking to see if I posted anything.

I had an incident a few years ago where the girl I was dating here in town saw that I was horsing around with my BFFF in the "Dear" thread where a bunch of us were posting all silly like we do, being schmoopies. The girl read that and printed screen shots of the conversation so she could accuse me of cheating on her. :blink:

It was NUTZ! No matter how I explained it, she was pissed. I really felt like my privacy was invaded, but it is right there where anyone and everyone can read it.




Just G I get that. Further related to the no privacy on the internet reality - my ex HATED I was on this site and the other dash site. HATED it. She accused me of lying to her because I did not tell her I switched from the dash site to here. I could not even bring up some of the fascinating or funny conversations that go on. I am pretty sure she still looks me up here. I could be wrong. But, I am not a flirt. I am not looking for a partner, now and certainly was not then. I love the PLANET. I love the posts and the exchange of ideas, even the heated ones. And I enjoy the people I have met on here. And if someone wants to look at my profile, be my guest. I think it is fun to see who is looking at my wee page.

[Cin]

I snipped the rest of your post......it was far too logical. Logic never runs high on the list of folks who think there is privacy on the interwebz.

Yes, internet privacy is a tad oxymoronic.

And having a profile on a public site and getting uptight when people come to look is definitely illogical, at least to me. Believing you can somehow control who reads you or who looks at your profile is a kind of magical thinking in this venue.

[clay]

Just G I get that. Further related to the no privacy on the internet reality - my ex HATED I was on this site and the other dash site. HATED it. She accused me of lying to her because I did not tell her I switched from the dash site to here. I could not even bring up some of the fascinating or funny conversations that go on. I am pretty sure she still looks me up here. I could be wrong. But, I am not a flirt. I am not looking for a partner, now and certainly was not then. I love the PLANET. I love the posts and the exchange of ideas, even the heated ones. And I enjoy the people I have met on here. And if someone wants to look at my profile, be my guest. I think it is fun to see who is looking at my wee page.

confessions for the soul...MY soul...I stalk your wee page....lmao...it's those tats....so intriguing....do you mind if I wander over and lust them (often)...smiling at you....enjoy your evening lady!!! (f)

[Toughy]

ATTENTION!! ATTENTION!!!

claybaby is a STALKER

BE AWARE!!!!!

:hamactor: :hamactor: :hamactor:

[Sachita]

I prefer "Fan Club". I have my own fan club and sometimes I post naughty shit just to make them twitch- truth be known. :)

[girl_dee]

consensual stalker = FLIRT

[DapperButch]

Well I'm disappointed!!!

I went to your profile to gawk and ogle you and I couldn't even leave a visitor message. How am I supposed to cruise you if I can't leave a message.

(w)

Cruise via rep.

I forgot to mention...I like visitor messages from "non friends" as much as I like Facebook. Heh.

<---- Facebookless Dapper

[ruffryder]

Well I'm disappointed!!!

I went to your profile to gawk and ogle you and I couldn't even leave a visitor message. How am I supposed to cruise you if I can't leave a message.

(w)

This would be my biggest disappointment with privacy settings. Someone can leave me a profile page message or rep comment but then I can't reply with the same only perhaps by private message so then again it's only private to the viewer.. guess that's how some folks roll...

[clay]

ATTENTION!! ATTENTION!!!

claybaby is a STALKER

BE AWARE!!!!!

:hamactor: :hamactor: :hamactor:

Yes, indeedy, I am!!!! lmao..I LOVE it. Imma stalk you, too, dood!!!!

[clay]

I prefer "Fan Club". I have my own fan club and sometimes I post naughty shit just to make them twitch- truth be known. :)

ohhh baby...and make ME twitch.,..oh yes ma'am, ya do!
Now Imma go and stalk YOU, too!!!

[Sachita]

ohhh baby...and make ME twitch.,..oh yes ma'am, ya do!
Now Imma go and stalk YOU, too!!!

hahahaha well you I had in mind! Happy to help ya out! Twitch on!

[clay]

"twitch on....twitch on...is that like "wax on....wax off"...rotflmao

[Medusa]

I'm thinking this would be a prime opportunity to stalk claybaby and also leave multiple unwanted visitor messages in Dapper's profile. :)

[clay]

hahahaha well you I had in mind! Happy to help ya out! Twitch on!

oh you know you got the hots for me, girl....'fess up already...I admit I have the hots for the aging goji berry bushes..what are my chances of getting one? lmao

[clay]

I'm thinking this would be a prime opportunity to stalk claybaby and also leave multiple unwanted visitor messages in Dapper's profile. :)

oh stalk my pervy old azz...I would only LOVE it...whoohoo..stalk! stalk!! stalk! and fill my page with VM's...grins

[Miss Scarlett]

I'm thinking this would be a prime opportunity to stalk claybaby and also leave multiple unwanted visitor messages in Dapper's profile. :)

i'd sign up to stalk Clay but i've been doing that for a while now...omg, thinking i just outed myself...LOL

[Medusa]

We had a poll up somewhere not too long ago about what people thought about the profile viewing ability. If I am remembering correctly, people overwhelmingly liked to be able to see who had visited their profile.

I rarely look at my own profile unless I am seeing who left a visitor message but I can see where I might be more inclined to pay attention to it if someone I used to date suddenly showed up here and posting after me. (especially if it was that ONE ex. *snort*)

I like the feature myself. It's like a calling card of sorts and I kinda dig it when random people come by and leave a message for me or view my stuff. Cause then I feel all important and shit! :)

[princessbelle]

We had a poll up somewhere not too long ago about what people thought about the profile viewing ability. If I am remembering correctly, people overwhelmingly liked to be able to see who had visited their profile.

I rarely look at my own profile unless I am seeing who left a visitor message but I can see where I might be more inclined to pay attention to it if someone I used to date suddenly showed up here and posting after me. (especially if it was that ONE ex. *snort*)

I like the feature myself. It's like a calling card of sorts and I kinda dig it when random people come by and leave a message for me or view my stuff. Cause then I feel all important and shit! :)

Me too!!! I forget about it a lot but then when i think about it, I'll go on my profile and get giggly seeing who has stopped by. I just wish they could bring pastries or leave a bottle of wine or something.

It's almost like "hits" on a U-tube video.

Sorta kinda.

[Sachita]

ooooooooo we need a cool game that includes profile stalking. I'm slammed so i can't be the conductor but what about a thread where we leave keywords or something we find in a profile and others try and figure out who it is??? that should make the natives nuts.

[justkim]

i'd sign up to stalk Clay but i've been doing that for a while now...omg, thinking i just outed myself...LOL

You weren't out? Oh crap! Now your cover is really blown... :sunglass:

[clay]

You weren't out? Oh crap! Now your cover is really blown... :sunglass:

isn't that the truth, kim? lol

[Novelafemme]

OK, so we already know I'm weird, but I guess I'm extra weird 'cause I look at my own profile almost every time I log in. :blink:

[Miss Scarlett]

OK, so we already know I'm weird, but I guess I'm extra weird 'cause I look at my own profile almost every time I log in. :blink:

Hmmm...and here i was thinking i'm the only "self-stalker" on the Planet...LOL

[justkim]

I was going to post a copy of the people who have been to my page, but then I thought about it. Yep, I often think about things... I will if someone else does it too... :blink:

[WolfyOne]

After reading the last 10 or so posts, I'll now hafta visit my visitor messages and see who stopped to look without leaving me a message.

I never look to see who's been there :blink:
Should I?
Could I have stalkers or fans?

[Medusa]

Wolfy - We can certainly arrange for you to have a bunch of stalkers! ;)
I can't believe that your page isn't brimming with people waiting to see if you are posting videos of your awesome dance moves!

But I gotta say, the nekkid baby butt is enough to lure some of us! LOL

[justkim]

After reading the last 10 or so posts, I'll now hafta visit my visitor messages and see who stopped to look without leaving me a message.

I never look to see who's been there :blink:
Should I?
Could I have stalkers or fans?


I vote for fans... It just sounds... well... friendlier...
Off to go and LOOK at others profiles...

[WolfyOne]

Wolfy - We can certainly arrange for you to have a bunch of stalkers! ;)
I can't believe that your page isn't brimming with people waiting to see if you are posting videos of your awesome dance moves!

But I gotta say, the nekkid baby butt is enough to lure some of us! LOL


LOL, can you have them stalk me, please
No video, if they want to see or participate in dance moves, they will hafta come to the Reunion
I suppose that's one way to get them there

[Sachita]

LOL, can you have them stalk me, please
No video, if they want to see or participate in dance moves, they will hafta come to the Reunion
I suppose that's one way to get them there


I stalk you on facebook. I don't have to stalk you here. You're always in my news feeds. I know its you or Snow when I see pictures of food. lol

[Sachita]

and if you look at my profile in 3 secs I'll leave you a filthy message. In fact everyone look!

[Martina]

So disappointing.

and if you look at my profile in 3 secs I'll leave you a filthy message. In fact everyone look!

[Sachita]

So disappointing.


not if you're into it. :)

[LaneyDoll]

and if you look at my profile in 3 secs I'll leave you a filthy message. In fact everyone look!



~headed to Sachita's profile because I want a dirty message, but not a filthy one.


:sparklyheart:

[Sachita]

~headed to Sachita's profile because I want a dirty message, but not a filthy one.


:sparklyheart:

I'm actually capable of huge filth. If you saw me now you'd know just what a dirty girl I really am.

[aishah]

re: the actual thread topic,

i'm glad someone brought this up. personally i'd be a lot more comfortable if people had to register to be able to read here. i run a forum where people have to register to see posts - the main site is still indexed and searchable by google if you search on the forum topic, but you can't find specific information or posts by/about people through google. i like this space so i post here anyway. i don't have a huge expectation of privacy. but i'd be a lot more comfortable if only registered members could read posts. i don't really give a fuck who's looking at my profile.

edited because i meant to say if people had to register to READ here, not post here, hehehe! thanks for bringing that to my attention corkey.

[girl_dee]

i was the one who pushed for only registered members to be able to access forums on the Dance site, i caught flack for it from a few who wanted to peruse without being logged in, but i still preferred it that way. Banned members no longer had access to the site, honestly i don't really care anymore.

There were no *unregistered guests*, but some of those could be a good thing from what i hear.

[Miss Scarlett]

I have one person who visits my page...every single day...but is a futile visit as what is there to see is limited to contacts and admin/mods!! It bothers me NOT!!! Besides I think that person has a secret crush on me..why else would they need a daily visit..grins...(make it a positive experience!!!)


OMG...Honey, i just realised the same person seems to have a crush on me too!!!

[Toughy]

How do you know they visit your page every day? Just because June's name is there every day does not mean Juney has visited every day. 10 more people would have to visit after June's last visit to kick her name off.


=========================
This idea of registering before you can read is something I do not understand. What does making someone register do for privacy when bots and spiders get to read anything they want to read without registering?

How many people are we stopping from reading and learning by requiring registration? There are many reasons a person might not want to register. How does creating an obstacle (registering) to access this site help build and create community? What safety does requiring registration create?

[Miss Scarlett]

Well i can only speak for myself...this person appears in the list, gets bumped out then reappears...and it does seem to happen daily...

[Morgan]

[QUOTE=Toughy;553336]How do you know they visit your page every day? Just because June's name is there every day does not mean Juney has visited every day. 10 more people would have to visit after June's last visit to kick her name off.

I find this thread to be rather amusing....great way to make someone think you have a secret crush or are a stalker. Maybe someone enjoyed reading something and want to go back and reread the post. Perhaps they hit the wrong button. I do not get paranoid, curious maybe, but secret crush....that is very flattering. And I believe it does take a while for the name of the person who visited to go off your page, especially if it is someone else entirely that visits your page a lot, may take longer than 10 visits for the person you think is visiting your page to get bumped off.

[Toughy]

Well i can only speak for myself...this person appears in the list, gets bumped out then reappears...and it does seem to happen daily...

laughin...........aren't you Miss Popular.......

[*Anya*]

I personally don't get why people get upset if someone/anyone visits their profile page.

It is there for all to see and read is it not? There is no guarantee of privacy anywhere on the Internet and certainly not on B-F Planet.

I like to think that people have good motives in reading mine and always appreciate the positive visitor messages they leave. The few times I have been visited without someone leaving me a message, I just shrugged and figured they had their reasons for looking-either way: not a problem for me.

Have at it!

[Miss Scarlett]

laughin...........aren't you Miss Popular.......

LOL...sure seems that way on occasion...

[Chancie]

I just visited several profiles because

I have a relatively new iPhone and I am clumsy.

I touch members' clickable screen names all the time by accident.

[girl_dee]

I just visited several profiles because

I have a relatively new iPhone and I am clumsy.

I touch members' clickable screen names all the time by accident.

me too, and we've mentioned this several times, i don't get what the big deal is!

[aishah]

i just get curious to know more about people so i check profiles pretty frequently :) there are some profile fields that aren't viewable on the left side of posts and i'm nosy, dammit :P

[Toughy]

all this talk about profiles reminds me I need to go visit one.................

[Corkey]

all this talk about profiles reminds me I need to go visit one.................

ME pick ME!!!! LOL