A Blast From The Past:

[katsarecool]

I wanted to start a thread where we can share our fond, funny, crazy memories of the past. I just know this is going to be good!!!

Several years ago I visited a friend living in Charleston, SC and she was kind enough to host a birthday party for another friend and it was a huge blast with lots of good people, good food, good music and conversation.

While out on the deck eating dessert and chatting one of the femmes spotted a huge palmetto bug. In case anyone does not know what they look like it looks just like a common roach only much much bigger and one hell of a lot meaner too. I looked around at the butches present to see how fast this bug would be removed or murdered. I heard a bunch of high pitched screaming and a stampede to the back door; all the butches were screaming like little girls!!! It was so funny! It was finally done away with my one high heeled Femme who was wearing the shoe and then she calmly looked to see if there were any bug guts there and then put the shoe back on!

[katsarecool]

Sorry about that June. It was not my intention to hurt anyone's feelings!

[Soft*Silver]

New years Ever

Live theater playhouse

in line to go back to our seats

thigh highs start to slip down...which they had been doing all night

I just let them....

and slipped off my shoes, stepped out of the hose

stepped back in my shoes

and left my thigh highs on the floor to be discovered by someone who would have a story to tell later that night

[katsarecool]

At a Latin Club dancing my butt off and having a few too many glasses of wine. In line at the bathroom, finally getting there and what a relief to pee only to discover someone had shut the lid down on the toilet seat! Lucky me I did not get wet.

Or the time my then 8 yr old son came out with my vibrator playing with it in the living room when I had a house full of guests for Thanksgiving dinner! He denies it ever happened!!!

[sharkchomp]

Many years ago I took my neice and nephew fishing. On the way home they asked if I would turn the radio up. I said sure and snapped my fingers and the volume went up. They both said in unison, "How did you do that?" I said, "this is a special radio. You snap for the volume to go up. Then if you want the volume to go down you snap and point at it - but you have to do that in a fluid motion." And I showed them. And the volume went down. So they both started snapping their fingers like crazy. But the volume didn't go up. They wanted to know why it wasn't working for them. I said, "you have to do it with some soul. This is a special radio after all." So I showed them again. They started snapping their fingers like crazy and the volume went up. I said, "now watch this, and I drew my hand horizontally and the radio muted. So the whole way home the radio volume went up, down, muted. All the while I dying inside with laughter because the radio controls were on the steering wheel. I don't think they figured it out for years :) heh heh

~~~shark~~~~~~~~

[little_ms_sunshyne]

I was 18 and visiting my parents for Christmas Vacation from college. Now I had just discovered vibrators and had never had an orgasm until the day I bought it. ANYHOW, seeing as this was the case, I could not bare to part with it. So what did I do? I took it home with me. When I arrive at my parents' house. I put my suitcase down. My then 7 yr old brother trips over my suitcase. Room gets quiet because everyone is trying to figure out what that BUZZING SOUND is. Of course I knew. But tried to play it off. My 7 yr old brother was kind enough to point out that it was coming from my suitcase. My dad (the pastor) reached into my suitcase and pulled out a glittery, hot pink, swirled like an ice cream cone VIBRATOR. Everyone kinda stands there in shock, when my little brother say " Hey I saw one of those things on that show dad watches on TV" :|

[katsarecool]

I was 18 and visiting my parents for Christmas Vacation from college. Now I had just discovered vibrators and had never had an orgasm until the day I bought it. ANYHOW, seeing as this was the case, I could not bare to part with it. So what did I do? I took it home with me. When I arrive at my parents' house. I put my suitcase down. My then 7 yr old brother trips over my suitcase. Room gets quiet because everyone is trying to figure out what that BUZZING SOUND is. Of course I knew. But tried to play it off. My 7 yr old brother was kind enough to point out that it was coming from my suitcase. My dad (the pastor) reached into my suitcase and pulled out a glittery, hot pink, swirled like an ice cream cone VIBRATOR. Everyone kinda stands there in shock, when my little brother say " Hey I saw one of those things on that show dad watches on TV" :|Wow!!! thanks for the first belly laugh of the day!!!

[little_ms_sunshyne]

Wow!!! thanks for the first belly laugh of the day!!!

My life unfortunately is full of these stories!!!!

[pajama]

My life unfortunately is full of these stories!!!!

Nothing wrong with stories that make us laugh.

[JAGG]

I was 18 and visiting my parents for Christmas Vacation from college. Now I had just discovered vibrators and had never had an orgasm until the day I bought it. ANYHOW, seeing as this was the case, I could not bare to part with it. So what did I do? I took it home with me. When I arrive at my parents' house. I put my suitcase down. My then 7 yr old brother trips over my suitcase. Room gets quiet because everyone is trying to figure out what that BUZZING SOUND is. Of course I knew. But tried to play it off. My 7 yr old brother was kind enough to point out that it was coming from my suitcase. My dad (the pastor) reached into my suitcase and pulled out a glittery, hot pink, swirled like an ice cream cone VIBRATOR. Everyone kinda stands there in shock, when my little brother say " Hey I saw one of those things on that show dad watches on TV" :|

ahahahahahah BUSTED!!!!! You got busted !!!!!

[diamondrose]

I was 18 and visiting my parents for Christmas Vacation from college. Now I had just discovered vibrators and had never had an orgasm until the day I bought it. ANYHOW, seeing as this was the case, I could not bare to part with it. So what did I do? I took it home with me. When I arrive at my parents' house. I put my suitcase down. My then 7 yr old brother trips over my suitcase. Room gets quiet because everyone is trying to figure out what that BUZZING SOUND is. Of course I knew. But tried to play it off. My 7 yr old brother was kind enough to point out that it was coming from my suitcase. My dad (the pastor) reached into my suitcase and pulled out a glittery, hot pink, swirled like an ice cream cone VIBRATOR. Everyone kinda stands there in shock, when my little brother say " Hey I saw one of those things on that show dad watches on TV" :|



that was so funny .

I have a similar story..

A few years back, I purchased a new bed. Being that I worked evenings, I was home for the delivery of our new bed. Before moving it, the delivery guys removed my old bed. When they lifted the mattress off the boxspring, I was mortified to see that I had totally forgetten I had wedge "gadgets" between the mattress and the boxspring a few weeks before. In my mind I was totally embrassed and was trying to come up with a not so obvious way to hide them .. all the while I am trying to stay calm and normal. I don't know if the guys saw them, because I don't understand Spanish!:|

[DomnNC]

that was so funny .

I have a similar story..

A few years back, I purchased a new bed. Being that I worked evenings, I was home for the delivery of our new bed. Before moving it, the delivery guys removed my old bed. When they lifted the mattress off the boxspring, I was mortified to see that I had totally forgetten I had wedge "gadgets" between the mattress and the boxspring a few weeks before. In my mind I was totally embrassed and was trying to come up with a not so obvious way to hide them .. all the while I am trying to stay calm and normal. I don't know if the guys saw them, because I don't understand Spanish!:|

Oh, they saw em alright! lmfao, ya'll gals are too funny with your toy stories!!

[Gemme]

I was 18 and visiting my parents for Christmas Vacation from college. Now I had just discovered vibrators and had never had an orgasm until the day I bought it. ANYHOW, seeing as this was the case, I could not bare to part with it. So what did I do? I took it home with me. When I arrive at my parents' house. I put my suitcase down. My then 7 yr old brother trips over my suitcase. Room gets quiet because everyone is trying to figure out what that BUZZING SOUND is. Of course I knew. But tried to play it off. My 7 yr old brother was kind enough to point out that it was coming from my suitcase. My dad (the pastor) reached into my suitcase and pulled out a glittery, hot pink, swirled like an ice cream cone VIBRATOR. Everyone kinda stands there in shock, when my little brother say " Hey I saw one of those things on that show dad watches on TV" :|

*patiently waiting on Diva to come in and tell her Samsonite story*

Technically, it's not *her* story but it happened in her house, so I think that counts. :)

[Strappie]

So a few years back.... I had bought some things in Vegas (I had been dating a girl from there) It was time for me to get to the airport... so I had packed my things and off I went. I check in, then get to security and send my carry on into the shoot.... it gets stopped... they pull me aside and say.. do you have any knives ect. in your bag, I'm like.. Heaven's No... then they ask Can we look inside (like what would they do if I had said no?) lol Now mind you I still have no clue why they are stopping me...

So this older gentleman in his umm 60's pulls something outta my bag.. and says.. "I found it" I looked at him as he is holding my dick over his head waving it in the air.. another lady from the security comes "running" from the other side of the security line.. telling him to put it down.. (as if it was a gun, lol) she gets him to put it down (meanwhile I am mortified :|) she says to me.. that isn't it is it.. I say NO... She says do you know what it is.... I say Yes....(cause NOW I remember)

I forgot to put the Hand cuff's into the suitcase!!

I was MORTIFIED!!

[MasterWolf]

that was so funny .

I have a similar story..

A few years back, I purchased a new bed. Being that I worked evenings, I was home for the delivery of our new bed. Before moving it, the delivery guys removed my old bed. When they lifted the mattress off the boxspring, I was mortified to see that I had totally forgetten I had wedge "gadgets" between the mattress and the boxspring a few weeks before. In my mind I was totally embrassed and was trying to come up with a not so obvious way to hide them .. all the while I am trying to stay calm and normal. I don't know if the guys saw them, because I don't understand Spanish!:|

LOL thank you for sharing these incidents... I needed a laugh tonight because I am sooo frustrated at not being able to sleep...and it brought to mind two similar incidents that cracked me up.

One was when a Butch femme couple I was friends with brought their 5 yr old twins over to spend the day. We put the kids in my bedroom which had a loveseat & tv & videos to amuse them. We were sitting in the dining room when one of them came out, holding one of my larger cocks against his forehead like a unicorn horn! He says, in all kinds of cuteness, "Mommy why does Uncle Wolf have boy parts in the drawers under his bed?"

I cant remember what explanation was given, but i learned my lesson... I thought... of allowing children alone in any room with drawers to explore if I didn't want to have to explain things that really are a bit hard for a kid to understand.

A couple of years later, I had been living in a friends basement and was in the process of moving out. My bed is a huge sleigh bed with drawers under it, and I had planned on going back to take it apart on the day we rented the uhaul. My 'vanilla family of choice" decided to help the day before, and dad, brother, and 15 yr old nephew decided to take the bed apart for me... I had not emptied the drawers yet... imagine their surprise when they removed the mattress and platform & saw not only an assortment of cocks, vibes, lube, et al...but handcuffs, clamps, knives and some assorted floggers/crops etc!

When I got there with the truck, my sister was cracking up and told me that my 28 year old 'brother-in-law' was probably scarred for life! He was so embarrassed that he spent most of the day blushing! My 'dad' & 'nephew' didn't skip a beat, though I did get a bit of teasing...

Now, when there are kids in the house every other weekend, I have locks not only on the bedroom door, but on my closet as well, and the more...scary items are stored in a locked craftsman tool bench in the bedroom. (It has been interesting explaining to some vanilla friends why I have a tool bench in the bedroom!)

peace

Wolf

[MasterWolf]

So a few years back.... I had bought some things in Vegas (I had been dating a girl from there) It was time for me to get to the airport... so I had packed my things and off I went. I check in, then get to security and send my carry on into the shoot.... it gets stopped... they pull me aside and say.. do you have any knives ect. in your bag, I'm like.. Heaven's No... then they ask Can we look inside (like what would they do if I had said no?) lol Now mind you I still have no clue why they are stopping me...

So this older gentleman in his umm 60's pulls something outta my bag.. and says.. "I found it" I looked at him as he is holding my dick over his head waving it in the air.. another lady from the security comes "running" from the other side of the security line.. telling him to put it down.. (as if it was a gun, lol) she gets him to put it down (meanwhile I am mortified :|) she says to me.. that isn't it is it.. I say NO... She says do you know what it is.... I say Yes....(cause NOW I remember)

I forgot to put the Hand cuff's into the suitcase!!

I was MORTIFIED!!

LOL... lord... I am not sure how I would have reacted to my dick being waved around the airport!

2 years ago coming back from an event, I had forgotten that I packed a singletail in my rolling laptop bag. We get to security and all of the sudden there are 3 of them pointing at the screen while my laptop bag is being xrayed. One guy says 'i think i know what it is'...I had no clue what was up, figuring the tangle of cords etc must have looked confusing.

I get called out of line to another area where they use some kind of wipes on my hands and the outside of the bag before opening it.... and of course, there is my 3' singletail. The one guard takes it out and says, "yep I thought so!" and proceeds to throw AND crack it! I said 'wow, nice...you must have used one before.' He got all embarrassed and said, 'nope, never touched one'...put everything back in the bag and handed it all back to me.... yeah...right...sure he hadn't! LOL

peace

Wolf

[Jaques]

Hi, Kats --

This is a fun idea for a thread, but as a member, and a feminist and a Femme, I find the term "scream like a little girl" pretty offensive, as though 1) Only little girls scream and 2) Butches aren't allowed to be scared because being scared is only for little girls.

Sometimes, I still get scared. And sometimes, I even scream (Usually during Zombie movies). I get what you're trying to say, even though I don't agree with it. Butches can scream too, as can FTM's. Being more masculine doesn't necessarily make you braver or less likely to experience fear, and it's a shame to perpetuate this.

I realize that we can't see facial expressions or hear voice tone, so I want to tell you that I am coming from a place of friendly concern, and my voice is not strident. I am really enjoying getting to know you here on the forums and look forward to someday meeting you! I just think it's important to speak out when stereotypes are present.

--June

......I feel this is also the way we have been programmed from young, some women like a guy to be tough and strong and her tarzan, but in reality, it puts a lot of pressure of a bloke, butches f2m's included in this.
I found before i took testosterone, i could cry easily but in all honesty now find it more difficult, even though i feel like it at times, i dont believe its in my head either, testosterone has changed me somewhat, but i can only speak from personal experience. I actually do find it hard now to cry and show as much emotion.
A guy once told me his father beat him at the age of 5 for crying and said "men dont cry" - it was a long time ago, during the war - he's dead now, but i think in those days and even now to an extent, men thought it was their duty to bring their sons up tough and to look after themselves and their families - rather primitive way of thinking but understandable and of course its still going on.................

[little_ms_sunshyne]

Since you guys liked the previous little Blast From the Past, I will share what happened a couple months to follow that mortifying experience. Parents decide to come visit for Spring Break...That was totally fine with me. Except that my dad found porn in my sisters VCR (thats right I said VCR) along with lube in her nightstand and my mom decided she would do my laundry while I was out and found lacey lingerie (and possibly a pair of handcuffs in my bedroom but that has never been confirmed). Having just found the vibrator in December, my dad calls my sister and me into OUR living room and says that he believes that we are "Sex Addicts" and that he would like to pray with us about it. UUMMMMMMMM...I wont even tell you how that little prayer went. But it was hard to keep a straight face! Mind you my sister and I were actually not that bad. According to my little brother, he remembers hearing my dad talk about it at their prayer groups, asking for prayers!!!! One member of their group suggested we were taken over by some type of sexual spirit that according to him was common in girls our age. Lets just say my parents dont snoop around anymore. SO GLAD my dad is past that phase!!