How to tell if she's into you...

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

... this is meant to be a thread for all of us, not just for me to ask advice :lol2: Seriously, though, am I the only one who has trouble reading a girl? What, in your opinion, are the signs that she's interested?

Or is this "signs" theory just a bunch of crap? ;)

[MrSunshine]

no, there are signs. just look out for the one that says "crap ahead" :|

[The_Lady_Snow]

If she's all up in your space asking you to buy her breakfast...

She might be into you

[Julie]

Or WORSE...
Asking you to make her Breakfast.
Gasp!

[The_Lady_Snow]

If she's asking you to dance.....

She might be into you

[UofMfan]

If she stalks you, she is really into you.

[Julie]

If she buys you your very own Cock...
She is into you!

[weatherboi]

If She takes you to meet Her friends across country...she is really into you!!!
:mohawk:

[morningstar55]

if she says yes to a 2nd date.......... she is into you

[Kobi]

I hear there are signs. I always miss them. I'm dense like that. :blink:

If I am interested in someone, I take the time to get to know them,
ask them about themselves, see what we might have in common.
Then, I ask you out....on a date.

If I have to guess or the other person has to guess, I'm thinking
we aren't that interested.

[The_Lady_Snow]

If she tells you her given name...

She just might be into you

[Jax]

Good Thread! I am new and just dipping in and jumping out trying to get used to the temp on the planet..Please bare with... She is into you if'?..? You cant go to the bathroom alone on your first date..

[Rockinonahigh]

I gave up tryin to figure out what girls /women want,its like tryin to row a boat thrue mud.I get the name and number then they dont anser the phone nor return your call when u leave a mesage when u call,they will chat on line and pick up all the info from u they can.Then when things are seemingly ok...poof, they are gone,if they arent intrested then why take the calls,im's ect to the length some do?Come on shurely nobody can be that bord they are willing to do stiff like this for fun and games.I dont play games with anyone so I gess im a target for some folks..Yes im hard headed, so I gess I must have missed something while we were swapipng info.Dense is the word I think.U can bet I an being way more careful now.

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

Haha... well... it's hard to tell sometimes, especially if she's one of those super sweet girls who are in a band...

If she tells you that you're cute, and gives you her number... is she into you? :lol2:

[Soon]

If she is interested, and really listens to what you have to say (and may give feedback!), she could--possibly--be into you.

[DapperButch]

Good Thread! I am new and just dipping in and jumping out trying to get used to the temp on the planet..Please bare with... She is into you if'?..? You cant go to the bathroom alone on your first date..

I would say if she wouldn't let me go to the bathroom alone that is scary weird! :bolt:

[Gayla]

Haha... well... it's hard to tell sometimes, especially if she's one of those super sweet girls who are in a band...

If she tells you that you're cute, and gives you her number... is she into you? :lol2:

She gave you her number? Without prompting?

Yeah, she's into you. Call her!

[DapperButch]

Haha... well... it's hard to tell sometimes, especially if she's one of those super sweet girls who are in a band...

If she tells you that you're cute, and gives you her number... is she into you? :lol2:

I think you would at least be on the right track..:goodluck:

[JAGG]

When you first meet someone, if they smile alot when they talk to you, they are probably interested. If she askes for your number and actually calls you, and returns your calls and text messages, good sign she is interested.

[Jax]

I would say if she wouldn't let me go to the bathroom alone that is scary weird! :bolt:

Ha Yes it was very scary..and thats why Jax never knows until its on me!!:jester:

[LeftWriteFemme]

If she is in your bed..........she might be interested in you

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

Haha, thanks!

Well, it's a really funny story how it happened, but to sum up? My good friend, who is her good friend... told me to "go for it."

Only, this girl I like... doesn't know I'm friends with her friend. Did that make any sense? :hamactor:

I've heard that if she gives her number, instead of asking for yours, it's a good sign she's interested... I guess I'm just nervous because she's pretty much one of the most gorgeous girls I've ever met. Mhm.

She asked for my FB, first, though... is that normal these days?

[Gayla]

I'm probably not the best authority on what folks do these days but I would that her asking you for any kind of contact info is a good sign. :)

Set the nerves aside, breath, and call her!

And then come back and tell us what happens!

[Julie]

She asked for my FB, first, though... is that normal these days?

Facebook Breakups are HORRID (so I have been told)
Don't give her your FB name.

[Kobi]

Facebook Breakups are HORRID (so I have been told)
Don't give her your FB name.
Geez Julie she hasnt had a date yet and you already got her worrying about nasty FB breakups.

Prox....call her, ask her out. Saves a lot of time and energy.

Let us perves know how it goes. Photos are optional.

:jester:

[Julie]

Well, I was just doing the right thing and giving a girl the heads up!
Sheeesh!!!

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

Oh, but you see, I don't have FB - hence why she then gave me her phone number, written in eyeliner on a receipt ;) Well, she had a friend write it for her, but still :lol2:

And, I've already been texting her since last night... I'm trying to keep it casual, but I'm also being sweet - I complimented her on her show the other night ;)

She's definitely the type to ask me out, first, and I'm completely shy... though I'm proud of myself for approaching her and talking to her, because I NEVER DO THAT. :nailbitin:

[Kobi]

Well, I was just doing the right thing and giving a girl the heads up!
Sheeesh!!!



Valid point.

And seeing a nasty breakup was the impetus for FB....it is a fair warning.

[Julie]

Oh, but you see, I don't have FB - hence why she then gave me her phone number, written in eyeliner on a receipt ;) Well, she had a friend write it for her, but still :lol2:

And, I've already been texting her since last night... I'm trying to keep it casual, but I'm also being sweet - I complimented her on her show the other night ;)

She's definitely the type to ask me out, first, and I'm completely shy... though I'm proud of myself for approaching her and talking to her, because I NEVER DO THAT. :nailbitin:

I just photo stalked you!
No issues... She will be smearing her eyeliner on more than just paper soon!
Keep us POSTED!

[Kobi]

Oh, but you see, I don't have FB - hence why she then gave me her phone number, written in eyeliner on a receipt ;) Well, she had a friend write it for her, but still :lol2:

And, I've already been texting her since last night... I'm trying to keep it casual, but I'm also being sweet - I complimented her on her show the other night ;)

She's definitely the type to ask me out, first, and I'm completely shy... though I'm proud of myself for approaching her and talking to her, because I NEVER DO THAT. :nailbitin:



Its not Melissa Ethridge right?

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

You photo-stalked me? Should I be concerned? :sunglass:

I'm actually going to let things happen and try really hard not to overanalyse anything - something I have a tendency to do A LOT. This girl has major points with me already because the friend who told me she was great, is someone I trust with my life. And I don't say that about just anyone.

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

Its not Melissa Ethridge right?



Haha, no! This one's local ;)

[theoddz]

When she tells you (and REALLY means it!!) that she wants to be there to take care of you when you've got a nasty pneumonia, not to mention asthma, and you're coughing up some of the ugliest loogies that could ever find their way under a microscope, wheezing like a pipe organ and look like bloody hell warmed over (wild bed head, unshaven, baggy bloodshot eyes, wearing a threadbare old pair of boxers and a t-shirt with holes in it, etc.)....... :cough:

....ya, she's into you. :winky::heartbeat:

~Theo~ :bouquet:

[Julie]

You photo-stalked me? Should I be concerned? :sunglass:

I'm actually going to let things happen and try really hard not to overanalyse anything - something I have a tendency to do A LOT. This girl has major points with me already because the friend who told me she was great, is someone I trust with my life. And I don't say that about just anyone.

Nah don't be concerned... I am simply a Photo Ho!
Just breathe Proxy!
In through your nose - out through your mouth...
Counting 1, 2, 3.... Breathe.
:|

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

I know, right?

Thanks for the prompts... I'm pretty sure I need them. Gah, I can't believe girls make me this nervous :|

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

So, my friend tells me that this girl dates a lot of people... which makes me... curious. But, she also says that she didn't tell me I was cute just to "be nice." I guess it's one of those things I have to try not to overthink, and just see if she texts me again.

Also, she's older than me, which is a good thing :)

There's just something about her I can't explain. I like it.

[Corkey]

I know this may come off snide, and I really don't mean it to, have you thought just to ask her?
I say this because my wife when we first were dating said the same thing to me. Turn it around and see it from a different perspective.
Good luck.

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

I don't necessarily want to do that, mainly because I don't want to put any pressure on the girl. I figure, if she's interested in me, she'll let me know. Until then, I'm just going to relax and let things happen the way they do ;)

You didn't come off snide at all, no worries :)

[justpjhere]

id say when she shows up at in the morning on your day off with your favorite coffee and said i thought you might like coffee...lol

[MysticOceansFL]

If you've been talking with the same person for awhile and are friends and she "on her own actions gives you her number an says give me a call" thats a sure sign for sure.

[daisyfm]

the 1st date. i know for sure. but i don't date girls. i date butches. but if anyone wants to see you again a 2nd time, they are into you.

[The_Lady_Snow]

If you wake up Thursday morning and she's in your kitchen in her panties sipping OJ out the jug.

She just might be into you

[key]

She IS into you!

I have read this thread from the start and all the signs she has given are green lights. Go forward assuming she is into you, not questioning it.

Relax and enjoy.

But I also want to say, that if she dates a lot of women, don't forget this either. Not sure what you are looking for in this situation but I would not advise you to assume you are the only one she is into.

Cool?

[Glenn]

She walked and talked with me for a long time, picked me a :rrose: before her bus came, and kept on waving goodbye from the bus window the first time we met.We were married for over thirty years.

[key]

I can be so clueless sometimes. And I miss opportunities. This frustrates me.

Today's example:

Coming home from work, tired, a bit disheveled. Just thinking about dinner and a hot bath. As I am getting my two dogs out of the truck, I see a veeeery cuuuute woman unloading a u-haul truck. I am so ...? I honestly don't know (shy, clueless, ?) I barely even look her way. She stops what she is doing and smiles at me. I smile and say hi, then realize I forgot something in the truck, go back and get it. As I head towards home again she is still standing there smiling. I say hi again (dork?) as we walk past her.

It does not dawn on me until I am in the bath that she had stopped what she was doing and was smiling at me. Who knows, maybe she was just tired and taking a break. Maybe she liked my dogs. Maybe her face is stuck in a smile naturally. But maybe, just maybe she was open to me saying something more than hi. Maybe something like welcome to the neighborhood? Maybe I will get another chance if I can even remember what she looked like. UGH!

This is just today's example. I feel like my cluelessness makes me completely oblivious to these types of situations/opportunities in the moment. It is only after the fact that I sometimes get it.

Can anyone relate?

[Luckydwg07]

If she's all up in your space asking you to buy her breakfast...

She might be into you

I confused hunger one time :)

[The_Lady_Snow]

Being into you does not equate 4ever!

[Guy]

When after your done talking and you tell her to have a nice day and she say's don't tell me what to do!

oh, how to tell if she's INto you? read that wrong

[Bootboi]

If she lets you "in" even though you can be the biggest jerk on the planet earth some days.

[AtLast]

I must read this thread.... always gussing...

[The_Lady_Snow]

Downer.

Try again.


If she shouts from her long hot shower "join me"

She just might be into you

[Sweet_Amor_Taino]

When you both share what makes you uncomfortable about yourself and they listen and tell you, It does not matter I want you baby as you are. :love1:

[Mister Bent]

Well, I was just doing the right thing and giving a girl the heads up!
Sheeesh!!!

I agree with you, not just from the FB breakup stand point, but more importantly, you're giving someone access to a lot of your stuff - who your friends are, photos, other personal info, that you might not want them to have right away. I have my reasons for being a paranoid freak!

I don't necessarily want to do that, mainly because I don't want to put any pressure on the girl. I figure, if she's interested in me, she'll let me know. Until then, I'm just going to relax and let things happen the way they do ;)

Me, Devil's Advocate: I'm with the turned tables contingent. Sounds like you're into her, so why not let her know? That doesn't necessarily mean you're placing any pressure on her. Sometimes you just have to leap.

[The_Lady_Snow]

See!!! I'm not the only "downer"

[MsTinkerbelly]

When she loves you warts and all, she is in to you!

[lipstixgal]

I'm seeing someone and we are meeting again tonight. Our first meeting was yesterday and we had fun. I hope she is into me. She asked to go to a comedy club tonight and of course some other woman wants to come. I'm not into that so I told her. I would like to spend the evening with you alone!! I think that is fair??

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

Ah, thank you! ;)

I haven't heard back from her in two days, but she is a busy woman - going to school, working, and being the vocalist in her band... very busy, indeed.

I will not forget I'm the only girl she's into, and the way I see it, I'm not necessarily looking for a girlfriend... so whatever happens, will happen... I just know I like her ;)

I'm one of those girls, who, unless you outright kiss me - I don't really know if you're into me or not :lol2:

[atomiczombie]

I can be so clueless sometimes. And I miss opportunities. This frustrates me.

Today's example:

Coming home from work, tired, a bit disheveled. Just thinking about dinner and a hot bath. As I am getting my two dogs out of the truck, I see a veeeery cuuuute woman unloading a u-haul truck. I am so ...? I honestly don't know (shy, clueless, ?) I barely even look her way. She stops what she is doing and smiles at me. I smile and say hi, then realize I forgot something in the truck, go back and get it. As I head towards home again she is still standing there smiling. I say hi again (dork?) as we walk past her.

It does not dawn on me until I am in the bath that she had stopped what she was doing and was smiling at me. Who knows, maybe she was just tired and taking a break. Maybe she liked my dogs. Maybe her face is stuck in a smile naturally. But maybe, just maybe she was open to me saying something more than hi. Maybe something like welcome to the neighborhood? Maybe I will get another chance if I can even remember what she looked like. UGH!

This is just today's example. I feel like my cluelessness makes me completely oblivious to these types of situations/opportunities in the moment. It is only after the fact that I sometimes get it.

Can anyone relate?

I totally do this too!!!

Or, I tend to assume that the only reason a girl is interested in me, when she does make it obvious, is for carnal reasons (this has happened to me in the past and my heart was broke a little bit). I just don't know how to tell if a girl is interested in me for sex or for more, for who I am and not just what I can do for her in the bedroom (or the car, living room, kitchen, shower, etc. :P). It makes me honestly distrustful.

[Dreamer]

If she leans over whispers in your ear "you place or mine" she may be into you..... or she could just be horny one of the two.

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

If she says "hi" to you in the middle of a crowded place and smiles, her voice all cute and sweet... is she into you? :lol2:

[Bella~Vita]

When actions speak louder than words

[AtLast]

I can be so clueless sometimes. And I miss opportunities. This frustrates me.

Today's example:

Coming home from work, tired, a bit disheveled. Just thinking about dinner and a hot bath. As I am getting my two dogs out of the truck, I see a veeeery cuuuute woman unloading a u-haul truck. I am so ...? I honestly don't know (shy, clueless, ?) I barely even look her way. She stops what she is doing and smiles at me. I smile and say hi, then realize I forgot something in the truck, go back and get it. As I head towards home again she is still standing there smiling. I say hi again (dork?) as we walk past her.

It does not dawn on me until I am in the bath that she had stopped what she was doing and was smiling at me. Who knows, maybe she was just tired and taking a break. Maybe she liked my dogs. Maybe her face is stuck in a smile naturally. But maybe, just maybe she was open to me saying something more than hi. Maybe something like welcome to the neighborhood? Maybe I will get another chance if I can even remember what she looked like. UGH!

This is just today's example. I feel like my cluelessness makes me completely oblivious to these types of situations/opportunities in the moment. It is only after the fact that I sometimes get it.

Can anyone relate?

Oh, yes..... I can relate! yes.... "after-the-fact" is my middle name!

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

I'm so naive... relationships are my forte; dating, however, is not :lol2:

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

If one of her closest friends says she'll hook you up with her... good sign? :lol2:

[undone]

I totally do this too!!!

Or, I tend to assume that the only reason a girl is interested in me, when she does make it obvious, is for carnal reasons (this has happened to me in the past and my heart was broke a little bit). I just don't know how to tell if a girl is interested in me for sex or for more, for who I am and not just what I can do for her in the bedroom (or the car, living room, kitchen, shower, etc. :P). It makes me honestly distrustful.
treat her the way you feel about it... If you want just sex then be honest about it, but your tone implies that you are looking for something a bit more, so treat her like it, she will either reciprocate or not. It also never hurts to talk or ask about it, keeps the air clear so you can see what's coming and maneuver accordingly.

I have always appreciated when some else can express what there interest is. It doesn't mean anything more than this is how i fell and what i am looking for at this moment

[smouldering]

Yup it can be hard..

I have the same issue as AtomicZombie lol.. I can't always tell if someone is just looking for something casual or something more long term... if they are being genuine or saying whatever they think will get them in my pants lol..

Ive also had the issue of Butches thinking I am into them because I am nice or they assume because I am being sweet I want in their pants... -- Dating can be confusing!

But I agree about paying attention to body language sometimes how we act or react speaks louder then what we say :)

[Sweet_Amor_Taino]

The morning phone call.. the sound of her voice.. giggles and laughter.

[JustJo]

Ummmm.....no clue.

I'm one of those dense people when it comes to flirting. Years ago, in a group of friend/acquaintances I jokingly said "how come you all flirt with each other and no one flirts with me?"

There was general laughter and then one was kind enough to inform me "uh, Jo...we do...you just don't get it."

True story.

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

One girl told me it made her feel "a little jealous" when I told her about this beautiful love letter I had from an ex-girlfriend who I adore. I think she might be into me... ;)

:lol2:

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

If she hugs you, kisses your cheek and says "text me tomorrow" but then texts you an hour later telling you how cute you are... she might be into you ;)

[bigbutchmistie]

I'm on my I phone typing this but for me I can feel it and someone's lack of actions will.tell me every time

If you tell me you are gonna so something and you don't etc

Lots of the things show when someone is just not into you

Personally I think I'm a Damn good catch and someone is crazy not.to.be into.me.lol

[LeftWriteFemme]

If you give her bottom a little spank and she starts following you around, she is into you; if she calls the cops she's not.......

[Rockinonahigh]

Ummmm.....no clue.

I'm one of those dense people when it comes to flirting. Years ago, in a group of friend/acquaintances I jokingly said "how come you all flirt with each other and no one flirts with me?"

There was general laughter and then one was kind enough to inform me "uh, Jo...we do...you just don't get it."

True story.

Join the club,for years I had and still have a dense qulity.Sometimes it just goes over my head..

[Chancie]

Yup it can be hard..

I have the same issue as AtomicZombie lol.. I can't always tell if someone is just looking for something casual or something more long term... if they are being genuine or saying whatever they think will get them in my pants lol..

Ive also had the issue of Butches thinking I am into them because I am nice or they assume because I am being sweet I want in their pants... -- Dating can be confusing!

But I agree about paying attention to body language sometimes how we act or react speaks louder then what we say :)

I hope it's okay if I ask you a question.

Your profile says, 'as long as you pull my hair you can call me anything ;).'

Doesn't that sound like you want something casual?

I think casual can be fun and fabulous and

I think that if you want your hair pulled,

You should get your hair pulled, so

I am not being judge-y.

[AtLast]

Ummm.... so......

Why not just say "I'm into you?"

I know, I'm no fun.....

:blink:

[miss entycing]

if they are still calling you after they've moved on....
they may be into you.
*shrugs*

:eyebat:

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

I'm still painfully naive about whether or not she likes me... ha... ha... :o

[Quintease]

I like attention, so I can always tell if someone likes me. It works the other way too, I can always see if someone likes my partner, which can be hard.

I'm not always good. Once I spent a whole night with two old friends and completely missed the fact that they were now together. My gf at the time, who was usually rubbish at this sort of thing, was the one to point it out!

It's the way someone looks at you, this searching - looking for deeper meaning kind of look. Their body language changes, they move closer, become more attentive. They listen and remember things you say. Plus they contact you quite randomly. It can always go the other way as well, they can be very distant, even give you dirty looks when you are both out, but then you they always know where you are..

[apretty]

i assume everyone wants me--i'm a libra.

[flower77]

Um.. if I was into you I'd probably go dumb.. you know.. cos all the blood leaves my brain! That is why it's good to meet someone who genuinely makes you laugh.. giggling is a clue (and she's not laughing at you, unless you are making a joke about yourself and you meant her too!) I listen alot. I smile. Take deep breaths. Make eyes. I can't beleive you don't know these things ;-) you cheeky ones ;-)

Sometimes I think I confuse women 'cos if they reached out to touch my arm then I'd be all nervous but that's not the same as making a cold face and stepping backward, which would be "not into you". Reading between the lines it's a compliment I'm all tense! If you know what I'm saying! Sexual tension!

So be careful to know the difference between excited/nervous and not interested/hostile. How she shows her interest in you isn't always blatantly obvious.. so.. There are some videos on YouTube I've recently watched, although straight, kind of give you some solid clues. Named something like How to tell if a girl/boy is into you.

I hope that helps.
F xx

[Sassy]

If she's into you, she'll find a way to make it known.

I'm the shy type. But after I met B, my sweetie today. I took some initiative, found out her name, stalked her on facebook until we exchanged emails. Took her to dinner and plied her with beer until she agreed to take me home ;) (OK, maybe I didn't have to push her to hard to take me home -- I'm cute dammit.) But you get the picture? Even us shy ones, if we see what we want, we'll find a way to make sure you know it. :drool:

[Mr Nice Guy]

I wouldn't know if someone was into me unless she said something. :)

[Slater]

I just assume she's not. I'm almost always right. Bah, humbug.


--Slater, who might not be in the best frame of mind to be commenting in a thread of this nature

[VintageFemme]

If she's into you, she'll find a way to make it known.

I'm the shy type. But after I met B, my sweetie today. I took some initiative, found out her name, stalked her on facebook until we exchanged emails. Took her to dinner and plied her with beer until she agreed to take me home ;) (OK, maybe I didn't have to push her to hard to take me home -- I'm cute dammit.) But you get the picture? Even us shy ones, if we see what we want, we'll find a way to make sure you know it. :drool:

I love this, 'plied her with beer until she agreed to take me home' LoL so cute!

I totally agree though. If she's into you, you'll know it. If you don't know it, then she probably isn't.

[lillith]

I may be into you, but I may be too shy to say anything...then what?

[LipstickLola]

If you text when me after I just left the room, I'd think you were into me :)

[flower77]

After everything I said I've realised that I am rubbish the other way round - meaning - at knowing if someone likes me!

I think I am a bit autistic in the world of dating!

I tend to rely on hearing the words.. literally.. but then I have been messed around and lied to so much (as everyone experiences thoughout life) that I tend to leave it all up to them now, and am sceptical.

So although I tend to attract shy girls too, things don't really get off the ground!!!

Have to work on this!

Any tips???
Fx

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

Eight months later - I pursued someone else, fell in love, broken up.... and now, the girl that started it all is back in my life.

Only, now she has a girlfriend.

But she's a classy broad and I have morals, so nothing's going to happen between us.

But, at least I have validation from unbiased bystanders, that she's still into me O.o

[ScandalAndy]

Eight months later - I pursued someone else, fell in love, broken up.... and now, the girl that started it all is back in my life.

Only, now she has a girlfriend.

But she's a classy broad and I have morals, so nothing's going to happen between us.

But, at least I have validation from unbiased bystanders, that she's still into me O.o

I just read the entirety of this thread, and love you to death for posting it!!!

I had what may have been a successful date just before I left for a week long trip, and now I have no idea whether this chick is into me or not. Yikes!

I feel better knowing I'm not alone in this regard! :)

[luv2luvgirls]

She buys your Axe bodywash... just to smell "you" all day ;)

[ScandalAndy]

So, I had a casual dinner with ambulance girl on the 12th. I was out of town from the 13th through the 17th. When I got back I asked if she wanted to hang out, she said it was her birthday that week so she was booked, but we would definitely get together the following week. She started a second job and plans never materialized. I asked her this past Thursday if she wanted to see a movie with me, she agreed to Wednesday. I did all the research for theaters and show times. She responds to texts for a couple minutes, then just disappears.

I think this girl is awesome, but lately I'm starting to get the feeling that if she was into me, she would make time to hang out with me or answer my texts. Am I barking up the wrong tree, here?

[Rockinonahigh]

I think ageism has hit the rockin house hold,or I dont have enough $$ or my disablity gets in the way or the only place to maybe meet someone is in gay bars that I dont hardly see anyone over 30.I gess the dateable women have either found someone or gone to high ground.I sometimes wonder if I just missed the boat somehow..BUT if some one was to become intresd in me dont stop trying to get thrue to my thick head cause over the years its gotten sorta dense.

[Gráinne]

So, I had a casual dinner with ambulance girl on the 12th. I was out of town from the 13th through the 17th. When I got back I asked if she wanted to hang out, she said it was her birthday that week so she was booked, but we would definitely get together the following week. She started a second job and plans never materialized. I asked her this past Thursday if she wanted to see a movie with me, she agreed to Wednesday. I did all the research for theaters and show times. She responds to texts for a couple minutes, then just disappears.

I think this girl is awesome, but lately I'm starting to get the feeling that if she was into me, she would make time to hang out with me or answer my texts. Am I barking up the wrong tree, here?

Yes, unfortunately. Whatever the reason, she just doesn't sound that into you or she would be falling all over herself to squeak out five minutes here and there.

[*Anya*]

I think ageism has hit the rockin house hold,or I dont have enough $$ or my disablity gets in the way or the only place to maybe meet someone is in gay bars that I dont hardly see anyone over 30.I gess the dateable women have either found someone or gone to high ground.I sometimes wonder if I just missed the boat somehow..BUT if some one was to become intresd in me dont stop trying to get thrue to my thick head cause over the years its gotten sorta dense.

Why don't you try one of the lesbian dating sites? It is surprising how many women use them now and there are all different age categories.

As we age, we do not just run into them at nightclubs or the grocery store any more, we have to put ourselves out there.

I had a date with an ex-nun this past Saturday and another date with someone else this coming weekend (not an ex-nun this time).

I even heard from a woman that got out of federal prison-yeah me!! (No, no date there for me).

I figure I have nothing to lose and may meet "the one" one of these dates!
:bunchflowers:

[ruffryder]

I think actions speak. She will let you know! ;)

[gaea]

So, I had a casual dinner with ambulance girl on the 12th. I was out of town from the 13th through the 17th. When I got back I asked if she wanted to hang out, she said it was her birthday that week so she was booked, but we would definitely get together the following week. She started a second job and plans never materialized. I asked her this past Thursday if she wanted to see a movie with me, she agreed to Wednesday. I did all the research for theaters and show times. She responds to texts for a couple minutes, then just disappears.

I think this girl is awesome, but lately I'm starting to get the feeling that if she was into me, she would make time to hang out with me or answer my texts. Am I barking up the wrong tree, here?

yes sweetie you are...
don't hang around too long with this..
Move forward...

[Kelt]

It usually involves something upside the back of my head.

:blink:

[ruffryder]

So, I had a casual dinner with ambulance girl on the 12th. I was out of town from the 13th through the 17th. When I got back I asked if she wanted to hang out, she said it was her birthday that week so she was booked, but we would definitely get together the following week. She started a second job and plans never materialized. I asked her this past Thursday if she wanted to see a movie with me, she agreed to Wednesday. I did all the research for theaters and show times. She responds to texts for a couple minutes, then just disappears.

I think this girl is awesome, but lately I'm starting to get the feeling that if she was into me, she would make time to hang out with me or answer my texts. Am I barking up the wrong tree, here?

Sorry it's not working out the way you would like it to. I think you are right that she should be showing more interest. Have you tried to call her? Sometimes, life takes over. Try a call or another text. Express your interest of spending time with her and that you would like to again when she can and you look forward to hearing from her so you can make plans. Leave it like that with the ball in her court. You will know soon enough. I wouldn't keep texting however. That can lead to disappointment and frustration if no one is answering. Good luck!

[Rockinonahigh]

Why don't you try one of the lesbian dating sites? It is surprising how many women use them now and there are all different age categories.

As we age, we do not just run into them at nightclubs or the grocery store any more, we have to put ourselves out there.

I had a date with an ex-nun this past Saturday and another date with someone else this coming weekend (not an ex-nun this time).

I even heard from a woman that got out of federal prison-yeah me!! (No, no date there for me).

I figure I have nothing to lose and may meet "the one" one of these dates!
:bunchflowers:


I tryed that many years ago....some needed to b in a mental ward...the rest were so hard up to b with someone I thought I needed a guard dog..Good idea but bad results.

[deedarino]

I tryed that many years ago....some needed to b in a mental ward...the rest were so hard up to b with someone I thought I needed a guard dog..Good idea but bad results.

LOL...it is so true.


I can usually *feel* if someone is into me. When the actions match the words...thats how you know.

[ScandalAndy]

Now that this thread has popped back up on my radar, I feel compelled to add that ambulance girl and I did go on a second date, after which she asked to walk me to my car, then informed me that she had been seeing someone for a few months and she hoped i understood. Apparently I am really nice and smart and awesome, but she wanted to see where things went with this other girl. Whom she had been dating for three months.

I think it was questionable interest at best, so I still don't know how to tell if someone is ACTUALLY into me. :)

[Kobi]

Now that this thread has popped back up on my radar, I feel compelled to add that ambulance girl and I did go on a second date, after which she asked to walk me to my car, then informed me that she had been seeing someone for a few months and she hoped i understood. Apparently I am really nice and smart and awesome, but she wanted to see where things went with this other girl. Whom she had been dating for three months.

I think it was questionable interest at best, so I still don't know how to tell if someone is ACTUALLY into me. :)


I have had to revisit my thinking on this myself lately.

I know for me, I make it pretty clear when I am interested. It in the attention I give, the contact I maintain, the things I say and the things I do.

It's also pretty clear when I have mixed feelings. There is an inconsistency in the stuff mentioned above.

And, I still have no freakin clue how people date more than one person at a time.

[Mr Nice Guy]

When it comes to online....I have no clue unless she sends me a pm or hits me with a hammer.
When it comes to real life.... Well I sometimes have a clue.

[LipstickLola]

Trust me on this, if they come right out and tell you how beautiful, amazing, and awesome you are.........run like he11 :seeingstars:

[Greyson]

Trust me on this, if they come right out and tell you how beautiful, amazing, and awesome you are.........run like he11 :seeingstars:

This made me laugh. Although, I get that you are quite serious about what you are saying here.

I am partnered so I am not in the dating pool but when I have been single, I have noticed sometimes (not always) if they appear to not pay attention or communicate, then oh yes, they are interested. This may not add up but it is true sometimes.

[LipstickLola]

This made me laugh. Although, I get that you are quite serious about what you are saying here.

I am partnered so I am not in the dating pool but when I have been single, I have noticed sometimes (not always) if they appear to not pay attention or communicate, then oh yes, they are interested. This may not add up but it is true sometimes.

It's ok, go ahead on and laugh..........:confused::confused: kidding! I'll be able to laugh again soon! I'll take the not interested/non-communicative under advisement :)

[JAGG]

If someone said you were good looking lipsticklola why would you run like hell? I'd be flattered. For me I always know when someone is attracted to me, if I'm attracted to them. I have never been attracted to someone and wonder if they like me too. Maybe because I am very direct with my flirting, and I find out either way right off the bat. If it seems like I'm not noticing you flirting or I am not responding the way you hoped and you have to wonder if I'm interested, then I'm probably not .

[girl_dee]

Apparently i am a 2x4 femme so i dunno.

[always2late]

Trust me on this, if they come right out and tell you how beautiful, amazing, and awesome you are.........run like he11 :seeingstars:

Hearing that wouldn't make me run...but I'll tell you what would (and should). Whenever anyone says "You are too good for me" or "You could do so much better than me"....BELIEVE THEM! :)

[Scuba]

Apparently i am a 2x4 femme so i dunno.

Ditto...butch that is.

[afemmenatalie]

Ditto...butch that is.

Ditto.....femme that is!

[Cuddles]

Hearing that wouldn't make me run...but I'll tell you what would (and should). Whenever anyone says "You are too good for me" or "You could do so much better than me"....BELIEVE THEM! :)

That was my last relationship exactly. I feel like rescuing the damsel in distress sometimes and I'm all for being supportive but I couldn't take the pity-wagon day in and day out. I'm not saying she has to be the most confident person in the world (I can help her develop her confidence) but a little goes a long way... you know?

[JAGG]

Hearing that wouldn't make me run...but I'll tell you what would (and should). Whenever anyone says "You are too good for me" or "You could do so much better than me"....BELIEVE THEM! :)

ABSOLUTELY!!! Or if they ask why me, why do you love me so much? Or if they say, you don't want to date me, I'm to this or too that or I'm not this or that. Just say oh ok I didn't know that, my bad and run!!! Count your blessings every step you take in the opposite direction. =)

[LipstickLola]

I'll be looking very forward to a more settled, boring existence :)

[Sassy]

Hearing that wouldn't make me run...but I'll tell you what would (and should). Whenever anyone says "You are too good for me" or "You could do so much better than me"....BELIEVE THEM! :)

That or if someone tells you up front they're an asshole. Believe them. Yup yup...

[Ginger]

Is she into you? Words are nice. But I trust actions.

[JustBeingMe]

I'm definately a 2x4 butch and don't have a dang clue when someone is into me anymore. So if they don't just come right out and say they are interested in me, I have no clue at all anymore. I'm very shy until I get to know someone, but I dunno how to talk to them anymore either. LOL

[Koffeelvr]

id say when she shows up at in the morning on your day off with your favorite coffee and said i thought you might like coffee...lol

If someone did this for me, I would be grinning all day long.

[EmJay]

It really sucks when you get all the right words.. But your left waiting for the actions to follow. Especially because all those perfect words make you want those actions so badly. *Heart is working hard to mend and try and move past this situation right now*

If you think telling a girl you are in to her, care for her, love her.. is the right thing to do, because you think that's what she wants to hear.. You are wrong. You just mess with our mind, and our heart.. And it hurts more in the end than just being straight up and saying your not for me.

^^^ that is what makes it sooo damn hard to tell if someone is really in to you or not.. Took me time to figure it out, longer than I would have hoped for.. But at least I get it now. Maybe it's not even that it is hard to tell.. Maybe sometimes you know it, but you just don't want to accept the truth. :|

[Chinajewelry]

Maybe licking/biting lips, or blinking fast. I do these sometimes. But I'm a femme so it doesn't apply to all

[Bad_boi]

If she touches you thats a sign. Like if she plays with your hair or fixes your collar.

[Paradox]

Nice thread!! :)

If this was a test I would fail miserably. I am friendly -(some mistake or assume flirtation) with the most people I meet. I'm generally pretty good a sensing and reading people - except in cases like this. :doh:

I rarely I mean rarely notice. My friends would be the ones who would ask me after 'How did so and so work out?', or 'What happened with ABC? She's likes you.' I would ask 'What makes you think she likes me?' - of course I get the 'Are you serious ? look - :eyebrow:

For me to know if she likes me comes one of three ways;
1) My friends tell me
2) The person who is interested comes at me with a 2x4
3) We eventually figure it out.--- Needless to say this option is in the lowest rating.

Maybe if there was some kind of sensory - mood accessory or emotion bracelet that we can wear to help determine if we like each other. :thinking:

Of course to be worn discretionarily - wouldn't want to give away signals 24/7 :)

[cara]

She gets out of bed in the middle of the night to drive through the city to come snuggle with you.

:stillheart:

[Nadeest]

I'm awfully dense, at this sort of thing, seems like. I do talk to my friends, though, and ask them for advice.

[homoe]

if she says yes to a 2nd date.......... she is into you



Yup, I would have to agree!

[homoe]

If she touches you thats a sign. Like if she plays with your hair or fixes your collar.



Oh for sure............

[homoe]

If you give her bottom a little spank and she starts following you around, she is into you; if she calls the cops she's not.......



:giggle:..............


:goodpost:

[homoe]

id say when she shows up at in the morning on your day off with your favorite coffee and said i thought you might like coffee...lol



If this happens and you're not sure if she's into you, you're beyond a 2 x 4 !

[Bèsame*]

when she flies across many states to kiss you💋💋

[Esme nha Maire]

If anyone figures out how to tell if someone is really into you, please let me know! I am TERRIBLE at telling such things, unless a person is really obvious about it.. On one occasion, someone was trying to chat me up for a solid half hour before my then partner rescued me - she and her friend had been having bets as to how long it'd take before I twigged!

[Martina]

It's not always possible to tell. If they ask you out for coffee, it's a good bet. If you're still not sure, ask them. Say are you interested in dating or are you looking for new friends? Dating ain't for the meek.

[Chad]

Yes, this is hard especially when dealing with femmes not from this site. I have a lunch date planned with a young lady that I met out in the world. I am a little scared. There will be that uncomfortable discussion about sex that I am not looking forward to. It is so much easier with ladies from this site because we all know were we stand.

[Vincent]

It's not always possible to tell. If they ask you out for coffee, it's a good bet. If you're still not sure, ask them. Say are you interested in dating or are you looking for new friends? Dating ain't for the meek.

Yep
I'm with you,I'm just up front,either way.
My main question these days is "am I into her?"
as Mama Cass said "unrequited loves a bore"

[WheatToast]

Yep
I'm with you,I'm just up front,either way.
My main question these days is "am I into her?
as Mama Cass said "unrequited loves a bore"

The longer I've been dating women, the less accurately I can read cues.
Sometimes I think I'm getting hit on, then she'll mention her wife or girlfriend. Other times someone may be sending me huge signals and I'm oblivious.
I was in an art supply store the other night and ran into a young salesclerk who usually only works weekends. She acted really glad to see me, and she even came from around the counter to hug me.
I always figured she was straight, so her enthusiasm for me didn't register at first. Then when she asked her male sales associate to take a pic of us, she sort of glued the side of her body up against mine. I said, "God, what's next, a boob grab?"
By the time the flash lit, her right hand was firmly attached to my left breast--and she held it there for a few more beats after the picture was taken.:blink:

I still didn't catch on!!

By the time she asked for my number and suggested we get together so we could "compare art," it dawned on me that she may have been dropping hints.

Too bad she's half my age. :blink:

[FireSignFemme]

The longer I've been dating women, the less accurately I can read cues.
Sometimes I think I'm getting hit on, then she'll mention her wife or girlfriend. Other times someone may be sending me huge signals and I'm oblivious.
I was in an art supply store the other night and ran into a young salesclerk who usually only works weekends. She acted really glad to see me, and she even came from around the counter to hug me.
I always figured she was straight, so her enthusiasm for me didn't register at first. Then when she asked her male sales associate to take a pic of us, she sort of glued the side of her body up against mine. I said, "God, what's next, a boob grab?"
By the time the flash lit, her right hand was firmly attached to my left breast--and she held it there for a few more beats after the picture was taken.:blink:

I still didn't catch on!!

By the time she asked for my number and suggested we get together so we could "compare art," it dawned on me that she may have been dropping hints.

Too bad she's half my age. :blink:

Yep, sure sounds like she's asking you to come up and see her etchings.

[CherylNYC]

The longer I've been dating women, the less accurately I can read cues.
Sometimes I think I'm getting hit on, then she'll mention her wife or girlfriend. Other times someone may be sending me huge signals and I'm oblivious.
I was in an art supply store the other night and ran into a young salesclerk who usually only works weekends. She acted really glad to see me, and she even came from around the counter to hug me.
I always figured she was straight, so her enthusiasm for me didn't register at first. Then when she asked her male sales associate to take a pic of us, she sort of glued the side of her body up against mine. I said, "God, what's next, a boob grab?"
By the time the flash lit, her right hand was firmly attached to my left breast--and she held it there for a few more beats after the picture was taken.:blink:

I still didn't catch on!!

By the time she asked for my number and suggested we get together so we could "compare art," it dawned on me that she may have been dropping hints.

Too bad she's half my age. :blink:

Boob grab? Someone you aren't dating grabbed your boob?!

Uhhhhh...

[ksrainbow]

Boob grab? Someone you aren't dating grabbed your boob?!

Uhhhhh...


IMHO...

How does this happen?

[CherylNYC]

IMHO...

How does this happen?

Well, nonconsensual boob grabs happen all the time. Men often try to get away with that sort of thing. I'm not accustomed to hearing about it as a mating ritual between women.

[ksrainbow]

Well, nonconsensual boob grabs happen all the time. Men often try to get away with that sort of thing. I'm not accustomed to hearing about it as a mating ritual between women.

Be it a male or female or both: the referenced action above is not acceptable. An action towards me or the one I love: will require bail money..IMHO.

Ks-

[Kobi]

Many thanks to Cheryl and ks for pointing this out.

If someone I only know because I frequent their place of employment suddenly wants a photo with me taken by a male co-worker and they grab my breast for the photo, then ask for my number saying maybe we can compare art, I would not take that as a clue of interest. I would take that as a clue they are young, immature, clumsy, and inappropriate.

Inappropriate touching is what sexual harassment and sexual assault are all about. It doesnt matter which gender or sexual orientation is engaging in the inappropriate behavior.

Personally, I have found over the decades, I dont miss clues, even when someone outright asks me if they need to use a 2x4. It means, I am ambivalent and being cautious or standoffish because I am ambivalent.

[CherylNYC]

Many thanks to Cheryl and ks for pointing this out.

If someone I only know because I frequent their place of employment suddenly wants a photo with me taken by a male co-worker and they grab my breast for the photo, then ask for my number saying maybe we can compare art, I would not take that as a clue of interest. I would take that as a clue they are young, immature, clumsy, and inappropriate.

Inappropriate touching is what sexual harassment and sexual assault are all about. It doesnt matter which gender or sexual orientation is engaging in the inappropriate behavior.

Personally, I have found over the decades, I dont miss clues, even when someone outright asks me if they need to use a 2x4. It means, I am ambivalent and being cautious or standoffish because I am ambivalent.




I really don't want to belabor this point, but a nonconsensual boob grab is classic sexual assault. Period.

[Vincent]

The longer I've been dating women, the less accurately I can read cues.
Sometimes I think I'm getting hit on, then she'll mention her wife or girlfriend. Other times someone may be sending me huge signals and I'm oblivious.
I was in an art supply store the other night and ran into a young salesclerk who usually only works weekends. She acted really glad to see me, and she even came from around the counter to hug me.
I always figured she was straight, so her enthusiasm for me didn't register at first. Then when she asked her male sales associate to take a pic of us, she sort of glued the side of her body up against mine. I said, "God, what's next, a boob grab?"
By the time the flash lit, her right hand was firmly attached to my left breast--and she held it there for a few more beats after the picture was taken.:blink:

I still didn't catch on!!

By the time she asked for my number and suggested we get together so we could "compare art," it dawned on me that she may have been dropping hints.

Too bad she's half my age. :blink:

Um
If someone touched me without permission,I'm afraid they would see a not nice reaction.
I have had chest surgery,but even so,I am very particular about who touches me,as I have said,my question now,is" am I into her"someone who done that to me,the answer would be no.

One thing about transition is,I have to be vigilant,to not invade womens personal space and not look at kid."which makes me sad about children,but I present as male now,so I have to renegotiate society norms,but also as a feminist,respect womens autonomy over their bodies.

TBH,straight women are very clear,you know if they dig you,and these days,I meet on a dating site so its pretty clear why i'm there,"I just wanna be friends,is pretty much,ok shes not into me,cause If i'm interested,I just say it,for christ sake I'm nearlly 60,lifes too short to play games.

mooooooooving on

[WheatToast]

IMHO...

How does this happen?


It wasn't a big deal--she's a goofy artist kid and we've been affectionate pals for a long time. I don't consider every single gesture to be sexual, much less a potential sexual offense. Some people can touch me more than others.
:fastdraq:

[WheatToast]

I really don't want to belabor this point, but a nonconsensual boob grab is classic sexual assault. Period.

I wish I wouldn't have mentioned it.

[JDeere]

Yeah non consensual boob/chest grab is assault as well as tacky as fuck!

Who the fuck goes around grabbing peoples chest without permission?

[homoe]

... this is meant to be a thread for all of us, not just for me to ask advice :lol2: Seriously, though, am I the only one who has trouble reading a girl? What, in your opinion, are the signs that she's interested?

Or is this "signs" theory just a bunch of crap? ;)



I definitely think there are signs........:hangloose:

[homoe]

~~
I dare say even most 2 x 4 butches can pick up most signs....

[homoe]

~~~
Me and Mary met when we worked in the same office. Every day, without fail, she'd saunter over with a huge handful of pencils to use the wall mounted pencil sharpener in front of my desk. I also noticed she'd only use it when I was seated at my desk.

Now being the 2 x 4 butch that I am I might not of picked up on that sign had it not been for the fact there was a much nicer electric pencil sharpener, as apposed to the old crank model near me, sitting on the vacant desk right next to hers!