Overheard ~

[Daywalker]

This is a place to put your Overheard @ The (fill in the blank).


Example:

Overheard @ The Daywalkers yesterday ~

:bbq:

Quote:
"...she wants to use the new foil, not the left over foil. Fine. FINe. Here, use a piece of the 40 year old good stuff."

:tinfoil:

:huhlaugh:

Have fun n remember ~ try not to run too fast with scissors.

:skateboard:

:daywalker:

[Daywalker]

Overheard @ The Daywalkers:

Mrs. Day
"I love U for your Tuna"
:stillheart:


Me:
" http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/images/smilies/whatchutalkingabout_smile%20%281%29.gif Oh, really"
:weedsmoke:


Mrs. Day
"...tuna FISH Daywalker"

Me:

"http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/images/smilies/whatchutalkingabout_smile%20%281%29.gif *grin* yeah, that's a whole lot different"
:farmer:

Mrs. Day:

"...tuna fish SALAD Daywalker"

Me:

"...this pleases the Gay MaN in mah head"

:awww:

:seesaw:

:daywalker:

[princessbelle]

Awhile back at work me and a friend decided to write down what other nurses were saying on the phone.... One sided conversations can get quite interesting.....

One specific conversation i remember went somethings like this....

"How may i help you?
Oh gosh it hurt that bad?
When he takes it out or puts it in?
Both?
Have you tried using saline to moisten it?
Try taking pain meds prior because it has to be done.
Change your position and try relaxing.
You have to trust him.
Is he not gentle?
Ask him to pack it in a different way, from a different angle.
Good luck and please you have to do this everyday, promise me.
Call us back if you won't let him and we will send someone out to do it for him."


We laughed and laughed. It was overheard from a nurse on the phone with a patient regarding a dressing change her husband was doing daily.

But, omg we nurses enjoy a good laugh at work too.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Wow, he knows how to throw a FIT!

[Daywalker]

Overheard outside just now
~ 2 girls walking by, one on the cell phone says ~

:phonegab:

"...you think I'm playin'...I ain't playing. I will cut a bitch. OK? OK? Yeah,
that's what I thought! Ok, love you too Boo...see U at home"

:rose:

:daywalker:

[DamonK]

Overheard at work last night:

The remote still works better for the tv than the phone.

[wolfbittenpoet]

I honestly don't understand why we can't all just become atheists. G_d would understand.

[WingsOnFire]

Overheard at a Village Inn somewhere near you....

Me: "Oh hell, honey... you get us a table.. I need to go change"

Damon: "why?"

Me: "I put my damn pants on inside out!"

Damon: " :| :huhlaugh:"

Me: after coming back from the bathroom to find you still at the counter texting... "Who are you telling that to?!?!?!?"

:| :| :| :|

[wolfbittenpoet]

At the beach Publix:

I swear we are invaded my zombies. They're so pale and thin and they shuffle around moaning.

No dear those are teenagers.

(I laughed my ass off.That couple had a sense of humor.)

[wolfbittenpoet]

At library:
"I don't understand why they are saying this word hates gay people."

Said by elementary age child learning about homophones.

[DamonK]

At work tonight:

Me: Hey ... You remember what you told me last week?

Yes.

Me: Keep this up and I'll be joining you.

How long you been here?

Me: Almost a year

*eyeroll, sigh* How.....?

Me: Stupidity?

Both of us look at each other, start laughing...

Res comes up.. "Who's flying?"

Me: We are... far far away....

Res: I've lost my mind.

Us: Join us...we're mindless too...

:|

[Daywalker]

Overheard in our driveway:

Me:

"...if we had a nickel for every time I forgot to roll the cans out.
((crow fly over distracts me)) Ok...wait, what was I just talking about"


Mrs. Day:

"...you were about to give me $50"

Me:

:|

:eyebrow:

:daywalker:

[Diva]

I can't remember what I overheard last.....I'm still lookin' for the damned dream thread.....

There's something about being in a train car on a track that's not finished and it smashing through barricades and into the Chatahoochee River....couldn't I at LEAST dream about a CLEAN, SHALLOW river????

[Daywalker]

I can't remember what I overheard last.....I'm still lookin' for the damned dream thread.....

There's something about being in a train car on a track that's not finished and it smashing through barricades and into the Chatahoochee River....couldn't I at LEAST dream about a CLEAN, SHALLOW river????

Ooohhhhhh...you mean the one you used to post in over 'there'.

I dont think I duplicated that thread here yet.

I think I took Stephen Kings title Nightmares & Dreamstates or something.
:moonstars:

I'm too occupied trying to rub the sand outta mah eyes to look right now.
:glasses:

I could start another, unless you wanna do the honors, so no one gets dizzy.

:jester:


:moonstars:

:daywalker:

[sierragirrl]

My daughter who is 6 telling me this...Mom theres a hole in the fridge
Me: what are you talking about?
Her: inside the fridge there is a hole
Me: you mean theres a space on the shelf?
Her: yes i think that spot should be filled up with food.
mind you i just got home from costco where i dropped 150 on food. :|

[DamonK]

Res: Look here! That's my grandson *points to paper*
Me: Awesome. Congrats!
Res: *proceeds to tell me the story of how he supported him*
Me: Fantastic. I've bet you've read the article a million times.
Res: No... not a million. 43.
Me: :cracked:

[Daywalker]

Overheard on Facebook:

Anonymous person's Status:

:papac:
Hello pot, meet kettle.


My Reply:


That's it. I'm naming my next Hookah...'Kettle'.

:weedsmoke:

:daywalker:

[DamonK]

MBE: *signing credit card receipt*
Me: :| :deepthoughts:
MBE: What baby?
Me: Why are you signing *my* receipt?
MBE: :rofl:

[Daywalker]

Overheard @ The Daywalkers


Mrs. Daywalker:

"...Daddi ~ if there's an Earthquake, the first thing
you gotta grab is your jars of weed!"

:cannabis:

:daywalker:

[The_Lady_Snow]

:|.........




Overheard @ The Daywalkers


Mrs. Daywalker:

"...Daddi ~ if there's an Earthquake, the first thing
you gotta grab is your jars of weed!"

:cannabis:

:daywalker:

[Daywalker]

:|.........

During all of this, we were going thru mah variety jars.
:cannabis:

One has shake in it, for reserves.
One has buds that are caked in THC powder (from inside mah grinder).

I empty one n show her the different baggies
of powder covered nuggets of goodness.

She has whiffed so many jars this morning (cuz she loves n humors
me)...she picks up the jar I just emptied the baggies out of and said

"...here Daddi, here's a jar to put them in"

:|

:rofl:

:daywalker:

[Daywalker]

Overheard in the car driving thru the Hills of Vacaville:


"Oh, great...I just got the GPS (aka Sabra) stoned"

:doh:

:weedsmoke:

:daywalker:

[Daywalker]

Overheard this Morning

"It's not that scary, open yer mouth..."

:police:

:daywalker:

[Bit]

Me: I thought for your lunch I'd mix the leftover fajitas with some rice.

Butch, shaking like an enthusiastic puppy: Okay!!

Me: :sunglass:

Butch, still dancing in place: All those peppers!! It's butt-wigglin' good!! :cheesy:


*hmmm... possibly I should cook with more peppers...*

[dixie]

Yesterday, shopping with my son. I planned to buy some plants that were outside the store so I told my son to help me remember which ones to tell the cashier to ring up.

Me: "Ok, remember the 3 gallon hibiscus and the $15 assorted tropical"

Son: "3 gallon hibiscus, $15 tropical. Got it."


We get inside and spend about an hour looking around and shopping, so of course I forgot what we were getting. I told my son to tell the cashier which plants.


Son: *thinking for a moment* "We're getting a 15 3-gallon high biscuit. Oh, and it's tropical!"

Me: :|

Cashier: :confused:


At least it jogged my memory so I could translate it to the cashier. My son was slightly embarassed but chuckled about it. Now we have officially named it "The Almighty High Biscuit" LOL

[dixie]

Oh, I forgot about this one til just now. On the way to purchase the "high biscuit", we were singing in the car as usual. My son is kinda geeky like me so he loves oldies and showtunes so we popped in one of the mix CDs I made. A few songs in, "Mr Sandman" starts playing. We are both merrily singing along. Then I happen to notice what my son is singing.

Son: *belting it out at the top of his lungs* "Mr Sandman, Bring me a drink..."

Me: "A drink?"

Son: "Yeah. What?"

Me: totally cracking up and had to google the lyrics on my Droid to prove to him that it is supposed to be "Bring me a dream"

I love my kid...LOL

[justkim]

Out to lunch with my folks today...
My dad said something to my mom that I did not hear but I most certainly heard the reply...

Mom: Dick your a asshole!
Dad: :|
Me: *blink* *giggle*
Mom: evil eye
Dad: :|
Me: *giggle*
Mom: flips dad the bird behind his back while people in the restaurant are staring at them...

I guess that is what 45 years together will do... Man I love them both so much...

[Daywalker]

Overheard on a Miracle Whip commercial:


Miracle Whip is the greatest party of all time.
It's a party all the time, but it's in my mouth.
Everyone's gonna be there.

:|

:shocking:


h8ogxEcB1fA

:daywalker:

[Tcountry]

Mrs C--will u love me forever?
Mr C--yes ma'am...just don't kill anyone or cheat on me (dont want to test it)
Mrs C--even if I were 1000lbs & (insert more outrageous stuff here)
Mr C-- for sure
Mrs C-- I wouldn't be attractive. I wouldn't feel right you having sex with me if you weren't attracted to me anymore...
Mr C-- :blink: then don't do that...

[deb_U_taunt]

My brother-in-law to his girlfriend after burning himself when removing something from the oven, 'do you need a safe word, if its self inflicted pain?'.

[Lillie]

Me: telling my pop a story about someone who has "the worst case of short timers disease ever"..
my daugher: hey mom!..does that only effect people of a certain height?
me: :|:|:|:blink:

[dixie]

"You were the one gifted with computer skills, I was just gifted with a big cock."
:|
:blink:
:rofl:

[Daywalker]

Overheard at Kamp Koolaid

Sabra ~
"She looks like she's been rode hard n put up wet"
:shocking:

Day ~

"...thing is, I don't think she been put up yet"

:sunglass:

:daywalker:

[violaine]

caller: "what could i use instead of paint for my car?"

"why not try contact paper?"


- click and clack.

[Daywalker]

Overheard in PamPams truck an hour ago:

:weedsmoke:

A Hummer drives by with those big Balls hanging off the back.

Daywalker:
"Gas sucker..."

PamPam:
"...yeah!"

:police:

Daywalker to Hummer:
"We car pooled to get cigarettes, what have U done for the Earth today!?"

:cheesy:

:daywalker:

[tapu]

Overheard in Portland:

"You can buy zip ties anywhere. Target, even."

:|

[tonaderspeisung]

overheard at the 7-eleven

"if you are really serious about the business you have to get a fog machine"

[ruffryder]

On the show 40 Greatest Pranks 2.

"This is on me, and maybe later I can get on you."

"Maybe you should have 2 drinks so your girlfriend looks better."

[Daywalker]

Overheard in the car on Mack Road today:
:carride:

Mrs Day:
"...there's a lot of people out driving today...gives me anxiety Daddi"

:spruceup:

Daywalker:
"...no problem. I'll just deploy my American Consumer Product
Dispensary Tactic for this situation"
:ohm:


Mrs Day:


<head tilt>>>> "...huh?"
:tinfoil:

Daywalker:
"We're gonna pull into Walgrees up ahead. By the time you've reached
the door you should feel that anxiety just melting away..."
:formalbow:

:daywalker:

[little_ms_sunshyne]

T: "You have a hairy flower..." Actually talking about a plastic toy flower that had long purple hair lol

[ButchBowWow]

Overheard in the BowWow household last night.


The boy: I just wanted to let you know we are almost in emergency crisis mode.
Me: Emergency crisis mode? What, prey-tell, is that?
The boy: We only have a stick and a half of butter left!
Me: :|

[tapu]

In Trader Joe's:

"What's the difference between firm tofu, and extra firm tofu? Is it the taste?"

[tapu]

On a suburban street in Columbus OH, one woman to another, looking out at the remains of a skunk run over in the street:

"At least the skunk smell masks the smell of decomposition."




(I'm thinking that someone has been watching a bit much of the Casey Anthony trial.)

[Daywalker]

Overheard on the Phone today between Snowy n Day:

"Wait, but I thought Godzilla killed the Robot."
:confused:

:rofl:

:daywalker:

[Daywalker]

Overheard somewhere in South Sac:
:praying:

Anonymous:

"...Ho bag"


Daywalker:

"...bless you"

:cough:

:daywalker:

[tonaderspeisung]

overheard at the tarjzay

small child holding a transformers monopoly game - "i really need to get this one"
accompanying adult figure - "wouldn't you rather get something fun like hungry hippos"
small child - "no way that's childs prey"

[Tcountry]

Sunshyne & I were at a car dealership.
A friend of mine(who works there) overheard & shared...
Guys standing there looking at us thru the window
Guy 1: ....so that makes her(referring to me) like the guy right?
Guy 2: yeah
Guy 1: I am not sure I am comfortable saying that...
Guy 1's dad(owner of dealership): Why not? You're just jealous she gets to eat more pussy than u...


Wow....way to go old Iowa dad...stand up for the lesbians...lol

[tapu]

I overheard this a couple years ago but I hope I don't forget it:


Asa was about 9 and we were at a Cub Scouts jamboree, or whatever. This time, I was the only Mama with our troop; all the other parents were Papa's. One of the littler Cub Scouts says, "You're supposed to bring your dad." And Asa says, with resignation in his voice, "Don't worry. It's not going to make any difference."

I just want to add that I pinned those Papi's asses in archery! Oh! Yeah! Woo-woo-woo!

[tapu]

Guy on his cell: "Hey man, I thought that we had plans to eat grilled cheese sandwiches today."

[tonaderspeisung]

overheard at the safeway (by the yogurt)


"that's jacked up! i can't believe he's marrying her; i'm the one who brought the 151."

[Gentle Tiger]

conversation between 5 year old and her mom.

little girl: mommy didn't you say you wanted to go look at toys?
mom: no, I'm pretty sure that's not what I said

little girl now has an intense look on her face, clearly thinking.

little girl: mommy would you like me to look at the toys for you? I promise to come back and tell you what I saw.

me to the mother: how old she?
mom: the little old lady is five. I swear she's been here at least 5 times already.

we both laughed

[tonaderspeisung]

overheard at the circle k

"ninja monkeys! hell yeah!"

[JustJo]

overheard at the circle k

"ninja monkeys! hell yeah!"

Maybe it was Scoote....she keeps talking about getting ninja skills :blink:

[tonaderspeisung]

overheard across the street from the chihuly glass museum


"if he's such a good artist - why does he still only have one eye?"

[tonaderspeisung]

overheard at the trader joes

cashier looking at customer's id - "you have such a beautiful name - i love it"

customer - "my father said he named me after the woman he should have married instead of my mom - i thought about changing it but i didn't because my mom is such a bitch"

[tonaderspeisung]

guy 1 - "hey man - got big plans for the weekend?"
guy 2 - "i've got ladies on deck - and i'm married!" (followed by a very tigger like whoo hoo hooo giggle sound)

[Gayla]

Is it overheard if it was said directly to me? ...

"I think it's stupid to put a stick up your penis. And I really mean it."

[princessbelle]

Overheard on a plane yesterday.

Pilot: Ma'am we are going to have to call the FAA and have you removed from this plane if you can't keep your kitten into it's box.

Lady: I'm not going anywhere. I paid extra to bring her with me and she's going if she gets in her box or not.

Pilot: We can't leave the ground with your kitten free and at large and possibly roaming around on the plane.

Man beside me...."Dear lord please let her to put her damn kitty away."

Me.... :|

[tapu]

At Portland First Friday Art Walk:


"Oh, yeah? Well, SMEG ME!"



Now... was that necessary?

[Daywalker]

Overheard in a Secret Hippy Garden

:cannabis:

‎"Remember when you stop to smell the flowers, no one likes a Bogart.
Now kindly remove the weed from yer nostrils."

:|

:rofl:

:daywalker:

[Tcountry]

S: what r u thinkin?
T: miss u...cats are fed...
S: miss u. Lonley bed. :(
T: hey, that rhymed.


*shake head* opposite schedules are interesting sometimes...lol

[Gayla]

Overheard in the fabric store this morning *after* I had just spent a good half hour talking with the Random Fabric Store Person (RFSP) while she was cutting yard after yard after yard of spiffy sale fabric.

RFSP to Nina: So how are you two acquainted?
Nina to RFSP: She's my boy.
RFSP to Nina: Oh, she's your son?
Nina to Me: :|
Me to Nina: :|

[tonaderspeisung]

overheard the neighbors behind my back fence


neighbor (yelling excitedly) "dude! fuck - get out here quick - fuckin' fuck"
dude "what is it?"
neighbor "dude - never mind i just thought i saw a hawk"
dude "shut up - go back inside"

[tonaderspeisung]

at the starbucks this morning

the lady in front of me in line had really fancy, long fingernails and she was grabbing her cup o' joe with just the palms of her hands

the barista counter guy was watching intently

counter guy - "enjoy the rest of your morning"
lady - "my eyes are up here"

[Tcountry]

Lab mgr to lab tech: "Are you reading my mind?"
Operator doesn't skip a beat: "no...she wasn't laughing"

Lol

[Ebon]

Girl: "Sugar is like crazy meth to babies, at least that's what my homeopath says."
Lady: "Well honey maybe your gay friends don't know what they are talking about."

--

Guy: "Momma I got diabetes."
Momma: "Well that's what you get for messing with them nasty girls."
Guy: "No momma I got the sugar."
Momma: "Oh lord no, not my baby!"

[WingsOnFire]

Overheard in the King house...

Becca: That hurts...

Damon: Have you taken a shower?...

Becca: No... I would rather you massage it...

:| oh wait thats for another thread...

[Daywalker]

Overheard on the Facebook:
:hangloose:

"...lol ~ If I twirl more than 1 1/5 times,
mah doobie flies into mah hair!"

:shocking:

:smokejoint:

:daywalker:

[bright_arrow]

*walking to the car after leaving a store where a woman commented on my Wounded Warrior t-shirt, telling me she donated to them too, and thanking Bard for hys service*

Bard: Do you ever realize that people are really nice to us? I think it's you! Nothing to do with me.
Me: Uh, no honey, you ARE a charmer!
Bard: Pfft, no I'm not!
Me: Honey, you could charm the leather pants off a flaming gay man.. you ARE a charmer!
Bard: :huhlaugh:

[uglyboi]

Overheard this Friday while standing in line at Subway

Boy 1: Oh yeah, I've got a girlfriend!
Boy 2:Who is it?
Boy 1: A girl
Boy 2: Is she Chinese?
Boy 1:Why would you even ask that before her name?
Boy 2: I dunno, because I don't want to be a best man at some sort of crazy dragon wedding!

[bright_arrow]

Mind you, I've been surfing online and through BFP for the last 90 minutes or so

Me: Wah.. I really need to pee.. I've been saying it for an hour, I know. And I need to shower.. Probably in that order...

Bard: I need to pee too. I'll go first. Just because... I can.

Me: Oh yeah? I CAN move faster than you!

I think Bard laughed, but it sounded more like a chicken BAWK!, as hy scrambled up to beat me. I just sat here and laughed my ass off.

A minute later hy comes in grinning with a "Nanner nanner!" smirk..

Me: Careful, you better not mock me if you want to get laid later.

Bard: :| Yes ma'am.

I won! :byebye: Now time to get ready because I think we talked ourselves into a trip to Binghamton for Sonic! :hangloose:

[Bard]

Mind you, I've been surfing online and through BFP for the last 90 minutes or so

Me: Wah.. I really need to pee.. I've been saying it for an hour, I know. And I need to shower.. Probably in that order...

Bard: I need to pee too. I'll go first. Just because... I can.

Me: Oh yeah? I CAN move faster than you!

I think Bard laughed, but it sounded more like a chicken BAWK!, as hy scrambled up to beat me. I just sat here and laughed my ass off.

A minute later hy comes in grinning with a "Nanner nanner!" smirk..

Me: Careful, you better not mock me if you want to get laid later.

Bard: :| Yes ma'am.

I won! :byebye: Now time to get ready because I think we talked ourselves into a trip to Binghamton for Sonic! :hangloose:

:seeingstars: really

[WingsOnFire]

Damon and I are watching Addams Family Values... we are to the point of Fester and Debbie's wedding.. as Debbie walks down the isle in the graveyard with all the dead friends and family members on either side...

Damon: Does anyone else see Day's wedding in this movie????

MBE: :|

[DamonK]

Damon and I are watching Addams Family Values... we are to the point of Fester and Debbie's wedding.. as Debbie walks down the isle in the graveyard with all the dead friends and family members on either side...

Damon: Does anyone else see Day's wedding in this movie????

MBE: :|

All I got is :| :rofl:

[Daywalker]

"...sex is like a Chinese dinner ~
it ain't over til you've both had yer Cookies."

:vampirebat:


:daywalker:

[MissItalianDiva]

So my mother is in town again. To avoid snow and see the kids for Halloween. I walk into the room earlier and see her with my daughter she is crossing her legs over and over again while putting carrots in her own mouth and chewing them with very pursed lips. I watch this for a couple minutes trying to figure out what the heck my mother is doing. So 4 minutes later I walk around the corner....

Me: Ma what are you doing?
Mother: What do you mean?
Me: Ma come on what are you doing why do you keep chewing like that and crossing Gia's legs.
Mother: Well now that she is one I thought now was a good time to show her how to keeps her legs closed and her mouth shut.
Me: (full blown laughing) Really ma...you mean chew with her mouth closed and cross her legs like a lady right? (slight language barrier)
Mother: Why of course dear...why are you laughing?
Me: Had to just walk away ....left room

[tonaderspeisung]

a walk by talking on their cell phone

"you don't even know - i was sooooooo drunk last night. did i leave my skinny jeans at your house?"

[SoNotHer]

At the coffee shop, one masseuse talking about another she works with -

"Yeah, it's one of those things I'm trying to figure out like how Mary's panties got in my duffle bag."

[Daywalker]

Daywalker:

"I think I just baffled myself with bullshit"

:|


:tinfoil:


:daywalker:

[Kätzchen]

(we all came to work one day dressed to the nines; none of us said anything to the other about what we were wearing, etc)


*it's about 3:16 in the afternoon - we're all working on clients*


Client in the chair just north of me:
Gosh, you all look so beautiful today! What's the special ocassion?
Client in chair just south of me, to his stylist (my best friend at work):
Are you married? I could take you out tonight if you're not.
(she's happily married, has one daughter, her husband is a saint)
Guy in my chair, chiming in on both comments:
Should I have brought champagne?
Client in the chair east of me, who says this to her stylist (she's a frequent patron):
I love it when you pull my hair like that...

[tonaderspeisung]

overheard 2 young guys with an xbox game
"we are playing this as soon as we get home - you have to be the guy who looks like the child molester next door"

super creepy:blink:

[Tcountry]

"Damn the Stripper is dirty"

:blink: :|

[BullDog]

OMG all this glitter. I'll never get rid of it all. :cracked: :goodluck:

[princessbelle]

OMG all this glitter. I'll never get rid of it all. :cracked: :goodluck:

Well, heck. I wanted it all of "their" houses. Not ours.

ugggg.

[princessbelle]

Belle: OMG i'm not framing that picture. Look how big my butt looks in that. If i was something you could eat, there would be no hunger left in the world.

Bully: "Laughing"

Belle: Excuse me?

Bully: No dear, it's the dress making you look like that, it's not your butt.
And anyway, look at me in that pic, i look big, omg.

Belle: Does it really matter? Is this about you?

Bully: :|

[tonaderspeisung]

the kid across the street from me - about 13ish
he was breaking downed tree limbs with his friends
karate chopping with his feet

i overheard him sing this ditty after a successful chop

in the style of milkshake by kelis
"my karate breaks all the boards in the yard - that's right it's better than yours
i can teach you but i'd have to charge"

[1QuirkyKiwi]

Girl: “Dad! Can I dye my hair green?”
Dad: “I’ll save you the money, I’ll just sneeze on your hair, instead! How’s that?”
Girl:”Eeeeeeewwwww! No way, that’s gross!

I was helpless with laughter! LOL!

[tonaderspeisung]

guy to a woman in the next queue over at the drug store

"hello, excuse me. i don't know if you remember me but i'm the guy who broke into your car a couple months ago."


further discussion seems to indicate that the break in was a positive experience

[weatherboi]

Worm to his little brother....

"Santa delivers everything in a 3,000 pound sack."

[Martina]

Rachel Maddow said, "I don't bite unless you want me to." Swoon.

[Lady Pamela]

Overheard my grandaughter talking to her girlfriend today:
My grandma's to coolest woman in the wolrd..You will like her..We gotta take her out clubbin!"

I about died laughing..lol

[1QuirkyKiwi]

Neighbour just broke wind, twice!
His wife says: "Did I do something to offend you?!

I nearly fell off the Sofa from laughing! LOL!

Must close the window! :blink:

[tonaderspeisung]

overheard in line at the grocery
one lively debate over the alleged superiority of
vanilla ice's ninja rap to run dmc's ghostbusters rap

GFLGRidfFo4
t5XtpHisqCY

i have to give the gold star to run dmc for being 11 seconds shorter

[tonaderspeisung]

overheard at the hospital

family to patient on other side of privacy curtain:
"wow looks like they have you on some good stuff - maybe now is the time to get you to give us the secrets of the universe"

patient:
"first we have to destroy canada"

[Talon]

A little boy to his Dad: "Dad, I got a log backin' up". :blowingitup:

Dad turned about 5 shades of red when I chuckled....:giggle:

Ah kids, gotta love em'.

[tonaderspeisung]

"ayn rand was the charlie sheen of her day"

[tonaderspeisung]

but

i think this one takes first place in my personal roster of strange overheards


overheard by the employee break area of a local credit union
seemed to be the usual barack obama birth certificate debate until

" he doesn't have a birth certificate because he is a clone of the egyptian pharoh akhenaten - look it up on the internet"

:tinfoil:

[Tcountry]

"sorry, I tried but you are gonna have to get wet tonight..."
Look at him, look at my operator, get a smartass grin...
"Hey, Chris ...wanna help me out with that"
poor boy turned bright red

Lol

[Kätzchen]

Last night, right after we close the bar down:


Customer:
Do you have any candy here for sale?


My boss (for the night):
No, she's locked up.

[DMW]

Hummm...she seems like an interesting girl

[Duchess]

"She's way too fabulous to be single. We have to find her someone."



WTF:seeingstars:

[Daywalker]

A random call to Coppahhhhhh Bard, no answer.
:tinfoil:

A text follows close behind:

Grasshoppahhhh Coppahhhhh

"Sorry Hippy, I was in roll call at work"
:police:

Aforementioned Hippy:

"Lmao...oh shit. I ferget other folks haz work.
Promise I was not inhaling whilst calling
during yer roll call. hehee."
:weedsmoke:

Coppahhhhhh

"It's ok I was running the roll call. You vibrated my chest."

:|

Dark Hippy reply:

"That's hawt Overheard stuff right there mah friend"
:grindevil:

:daywalker:

[Lasiurus_cinereus]

Overheard the dog and cat "talking"... I think they are planning to take over the house!

[ruffryder]

.. at work while people were getting on a tour bus.

People coming up asking "Party for a purpose?"

Guy driving: "yup"

Guy driving seeing others approach: "Hard rock?"

Ladies looking at him. "Yes, Hard Rock. Party for a purpose."


Me: :|

[tonaderspeisung]

little girl maybe 5yrs old
great zing of a barb

"girl please - you know you got your hair did at walmart"

[PoeticSilence]

overheard at home:

(wife is sweeping up around a large birdcage with two afrikan grey parrots) I'm really tired of cleaning up this mess, look at it. Feathers everywhere, and food, why do you throw food out of your cage? It's not free. All you do is make messes don't you? I never hear you offer to clean up though. Oh no, you want mommy to clean all day long don't you? Who hates the green bits? I see a lot of green bits on the floor. Who made this mess?

(the afrikan grey named Baby) I didn't do it!

wife (a little surprised and has stopped sweeping) Well me either!

(we think the birds have heard the kids say that when they get asked who made the mess)