Amongst us butches ..

[Merlin]

Why when a femme asks you how she looks in an outfit .. Does she think your lying when you tell her she looks amazing ?

[Merlin]

Btw this is a general chat thread .. Femmes feel free to answer questions etc :tea:

[Chazz]

Why when a femme asks you how she looks in an outfit .. Does she think your lying when you tell her she looks amazing ?

Have you asked her?

[Merlin]

I have asked her just wondered off other femmes why they sometimes feel like we are telling fibs when we say .. "honey you look hot,amazing,sexy" etc.

[LaneyDoll]

Sometimes we just want to hear it again ;)

I struggle all the time with compliments and have to remember to just say "thank you." I think we sometimes forget that everyone does not see the flaws we may see.

[princessbelle]

Merlin it happens both ways and it is certainly not just "femmes" that have doubts about their looks. I have told many people, doesn't matter how they ID, and have gotten the same response.

It could be because they want reassurance or a little more attention to what they are wearing than what you perceive to be giving, maybe make sure *you* aren't just shrugging it off and wanting to know you mean it or truly feel they don't look their best.

Who knows. But, positive reinforcement, butch, femme etc... is always nice. :)

[girl_dee]

Why when a femme asks you how she looks in an outfit .. Does she think your lying when you tell her she looks amazing ?

I personally think someone is just being nice when I hear this.

[Merlin]

She knows i dote on her .. I am always complimenting her.

I wonder sometimes that maybe femmes in the past don't get many compliments .. then when someone comes along who is genuine they find it strange to be complimented and adored.

[Gráinne]

I have a bad habit of replying to a compliment with "Oh, this old thing?" or "You're kidding; I haven't had my hair done in weeks". I don't think it's a butch-femme thing; I think many people have trouble accepting compliments and shrug them off.

[Daywalker]

Why when a femme asks you how she looks in an outfit .. Does she think your lying when you tell her she looks amazing ?

Heh, that's humorous indeed.


If that should happen around here, I get mah 'swish' on and mah inner fag
comes out and suggests something fabulous from her wardrobe.
:weedsmoke:

She depends on me for that.
She does not live with a Deer in Headlights kinda Hippy.
:koolaid:

She lives with one who loves to pick out accessories for her.

Wee!
:rainsing:

:daywalker:

[Guy]

My experience with this topic is that anyone, wether butch, femme, allien, etc, would much rather be complimented before they ask

[princessbelle]

My experience with this topic is that anyone, wether butch, femme, allien, etc, would much rather be complimented before they ask


BRAVO!!!!!!

[Ryobi]

My experience with this topic is that anyone, wether butch, femme, allien, etc, would much rather be complimented before they ask

I was gonna say, if they have to ask, no one is going to believe the compliment. I always try to compliment, (if one is in order) before the question is asked, no matter who it is.

That being said, I also know some people who will always "fish" for a compliment. When I know their fishing, I won't say anything to the matter. It's a fun game for me. :cigar2:

[girl_dee]

Femme : *Do these jeans look ok?* (spinning around)

Butch: * Yes it does, I love those jeans on you*

Femme: * so, you don't like the way I look in any of my other jeans do you?*
:crybaby:

Butch: *There was no right answer, was there?*




This happened recently. :|

[The_Lady_Snow]

Why when a femme asks you how she looks in an outfit .. Does she think your lying when you tell her she looks amazing ?



I'm a Femme so I am going to answer from my Femme perspective. There are days when I wake up and I am all blah (menstrual days) and I ask my pookie bear how I look, sometimes I negate the compliment with a negatory remark cause I feel bloated, bloody, fat, pimply, nappy headed and not all around good cause I'm in PAIN. It's like a tiny pity party we take our other halves on and the nice thing is SOMETIMES our other half does a great job with the pat pat soothe other times they are like :seeingstars:. It's nice having trust enough in someone to be able to have a bleah moment without them wanting a why, they do it and go through it with us because they love us no matter how much of a pity party or bleah day we are having.

Now, on other days, when I am looking fucking damn fine and I come out of the room all ready and I ask Grant how I look, it's gonna be different, I'm more flirty, my swagger is different, I may bend a lil like this, or a lil like that, and at that point it becomes mental foreplay. It's then my pookie bear picks up on the cues and goes with the flow.

That's just me though and how I particularly roll.

At first your question seemed a little sexist, cause it casts as Femme's being the only one's with the issue, I know that's not true cause I have Grant ask me how he looks, and I pick up on his body languages and other things. So I think it rolls both ways. I figured you really weren't being sexist and maybe forgot that butches, lesbians, femme's, guys, Daddie's. baby girls, pony girls etc etc all sometimes want a lil compliment even if it's an extra one.

:)

P.S.

Sometimes also for us in particular Grant will be having a bad day as far as how his body and mind connect and I will have to reassure him he looks fine and know to be understanding since what he sees does not match what he is, if that makes sense.:)

[Daywalker]

I agree with Snowy.

:tinfoil:

I have times where all I see is the puffy, the dark circles under mah eyes,
then back to the puffy, but add chubby...etc etc. I grew up with severely
buck teeth, so that creeps in while the rest of me is down.
(lol, I swear I'll always be that kid!)
:dots:
Then she walks thru and says "Hey Stud"
:awww:

:daywalker:

[Mister Bent]

Does this thread make my ass look fat?

[Apocalipstic]

Guys and Butches ask the same thing.

My grandmother taught me that "thank you" is the right answer for a compliment and I try to go with that.

[Daywalker]

Guys and Butches ask the same thing.

My grandmother taught me that "thank you" is the right answer for a compliment and I try to go with that.

Lol, my Gramma said...drop something.
:|

It will either distract the time period of awkward silence
before a response is created ~ or if they help U pick
up what U dropped, it will tell you a lot
about their intentions.
:thinking:

I blame her for me being OooBer clumsy.

:bicycle:

:cheesy:

:daywalker:

[Merlin]

Lol ..

I wanted a thread like this for a bit of chat between butches and femmes,

I did not want to put it in the femme room as that is their personal space to play ..:tea:

[Nina]

I just had a bit of a 'play'

[Nina]

ewwww....that *so* was not anything near what I intended to say...nor what I was saying!

(decorum, decorum!!)

[Tommi]

Why when a femme asks you how she looks in an outfit .. Does she think your lying when you tell her she looks amazing ?

Never. Because, in the eyes of the beholder, "femme" always looks amazing.

:moonstars:

signing up, because...i've been on vacation and missed the funny's:byebye:

[Rockinonahigh]

The last time I had the privelige of ansering this question form a femme We were geting ready to go to a dance then she came out of the bathroom all dolled up..I never gave her the chance to ask the "do I look ok or dose the make my butt look big ect" I just got up then told her she looked fantastic...gave he a big kiss ..well u get the idea,we were late for the dance.

[Mister Bent]

No. But it makes your head look ginormous, and not in the super smart way.


Better than narrow!

[apretty]

Why when a femme asks you how she looks in an outfit .. Does she think your lying when you tell her she looks amazing ?

don't generalize (and while doing so disparage) about femmes so much, please and thank you.

[Julie]

Does this thread make my ass look fat?

Yeah...
but it's okay -- just add a day or two to your gym schedule.

You are going to be FABULOUS **

[Quintease]

I hate having my makeup mussed up when I'm all ready to go out :eyebat:

[Tommi]

Yeah...
but it's okay -- just add a day or two to your gym schedule.

You are going to be FABULOUS **

:pile::giggle::cheerleader::pointing:

I am carrying a gym card in my wallet , right in front of that coin sized thing..Does that score any Fab points, brushing eyebrows back :cigar2:.

[Julie]

:pile::giggle::cheerleader::pointing:

I am carrying a gym card in my wallet , right in front of that coin sized thing..Does that score any Fab points, brushing eyebrows back :cigar2:.

Well Tommi!

Had you phrased your question with a tad more sophistication and left off all the googlie smiley faces and maybe did not refer to it as a coin thing... hmmm - oh and eyebrow brushing - scares me a bit. I wonder if the loose brows ever drop?!?

But other than all of that!!! Love the Gym Card! and unless the Cigar is a Cuban?!?

FABULOUS!

[Tommi]

Well Tommi!

Had you phrased your question with a tad more sophistication and left off all the googlie smiley faces and maybe did not refer to it as a coin thing... hmmm - oh and eyebrow brushing - scares me a bit. I wonder if the loose brows ever drop?!?

But other than all of that!!! Love the Gym Card! and unless the Cigar is a Cuban?!?

FABULOUS!

It's all good in Fantasyland. Okay, fessing up..I carry that 24 hour gym card, just in case my car breaks down near one.
One eyebrow raised...allllll mine since birth, a wooden nickle in the wallet, and it is an It's a Boy bubble gum ceeeegar. I have the band in case I need it in an emergency too, along with the wooden nickel.

[Julie]

It's all good in Fantasyland. Okay, fessing up..I carry that 24 hour gym card, just in case my car breaks down near one.
One eyebrow raised...allllll mine since birth, a wooden nickle in the wallet, and it is an It's a Boy bubble gum ceeeegar. I have the band in case I need it in an emergency too, along with the wooden nickel.

LOL now that earned you a big giant!

FABULOUS **

[PumaJ]

Thanks, Merlin, for this thread, such a lovely idea.

Hypothetical magic words between Femmes & the Butch, Boi, Stud, AG, or... in their lives:

To the Femme : "Honey, you look beautiful, you look fabulous, you make me so hot for you!"

From the Femme:"Oh baby, you look so handsome!" she says smiling & reaching to gently straighten the tie, or collar, or brush back a stray hair or two with her finger tips.. then looking her loved one in the eye she says, "I love you, baby. You rock my world".


:blueheels:

[PumaJ]

Have you heard about International Femme Appreciation Day? (http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=223915387635708)

[Inked_Trinity]

A femme always needs reassuring, it's not that she doesn't believe you....she just needs to know that she is still hot in your eyes.

[cane]

I don't think I acctually have to say anything to my woman, my eyes say it all. And yes, I know she belives in them...

[AtLast]

Have you heard about International Femme Appreciation Day? (http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=223915387635708)

Yes, I have! And it rawks that it is organized!!

[1PlayfulFemme]

I don't think I acctually have to say anything to my woman, my eyes say it all. And yes, I know she belives in them...

Totally from my perspective...words always help ;)

But, it's true...I always know the compliment is sincere when I can see that glow in their eyes....regardless of who it is from. You know...there's a difference in "you look nice honey" and "YOU ARE GORGEOUS!" *Smiling*

[1PlayfulFemme]

Oh! And! It never hurts to change the compliments up from time to time.

I used to struggle with what to call my butch when she went to all sorts of trouble to look amazing..and I wanted her to know I noticed..and it worked! ;) She ids female, so Handsome didn't feel right with her. Beautiful wasn't gonna cut it for her esteem. Finally, Striking rolled off my tongue..and it stuck. Now, I take my own advice and use other words, but I tend to stick to that safe middle ground where I don't feminize her (as a butch) and don't masculanize her (as a woman). So far, so good! :)

(does anyone find it interesting that "Feminize" is a word but "Masculanize" is not? And is my brain just too tired, or is there a better word out there??)

[Tcountry]

hmmmm ....feminize, womanize....but no male id 'ize' words...


Anyway....YES! Mix it up .... & u look good or fine is never enough. Hott, sexy, beautiful.....looking at her & asking if we HAVE to go...lol all work
My favorite look on Sunshyne just gets a "can I just look at u?" Almost speechless response

[Chazz]

....(does anyone find it interesting that "Feminize" is a word but "Masculanize" is not? And is my brain just too tired, or is there a better word out there??)

Both are neologisms, artifacts from patriarchy. Why the need to genderize compliments :confused: when a simple you look amazing, awesome, delicious, breathtaking, terrific, lovely, etc. would do, and do much better.

There is a difference between a compliment and reassurance.

[Quintease]

I don't understand gendered compliments or insults. To me, everyone is equally beautiful or a slut :tease:

[Heart]

She ids female, so Handsome didn't feel right with her. Beautiful wasn't gonna cut it for her esteem.


I know quite a few handsome women and beautiful butches. Yum.

[1PlayfulFemme]

I agree with all of the above, just simply stating that for my butch handsome nor beautiful were right.

[tapu]

Caution. Do not do this:

girlfriend: Does this skirt make my butt look fat?

me: No, your butt makes your butt look fat.

[Chazz]

I know quite a few handsome women and beautiful butches. Yum.

Exactly.

Hiya Heart.... Your post made me think about how the use and misuse of language shapes our self-concept, and our understanding of ourselves in the world, in overt and covert ways.

Gender training starts at birth. A zillion old and new studies confirm that: Boy and girl babies are spoken to and treated differently, described TO themselves differently, by care givers and the world around them. This profoundly affects self-perception; our understanding of who we are in a gendered world.

I often wonder how I might have evolved had I not been tagged a "tomboy" in childhood. I suspect I would have been spared certain inorganic experiences and freed to explore others that were more organic to me.

We become unwitting (if not witting) agents of dominant culture constructs/values when we use it's language to describe ourselves and one another.

As always, thanks for the thought provoking post, Heart.

[intrigue_in916]

Have you asked her?
Has anyone ever just looked at your lover and said..." wow babe you really are a knock out or damn daddie your caliente!"

[intrigue_in916]

Exactly.

Hiya Heart.... Your post made me think about how the use and misuse of language shapes our self-concept, and our understanding of ourselves in the world, in overt and covert ways.

Gender training starts at birth. A zillion old and new studies confirm that: Boy and girl babies are spoken to and treated differently, described TO themselves differently, by care givers and the world around them. This profoundly affects self-perception; our understanding of who we are in a gendered world.

I often wonder how I might have evolved had I not been tagged a "tomboy" in childhood. I suspect I would have been spared certain inorganic experiences and freed to explore others that were more organic to me.

We become unwitting (if not witting) agents of dominant culture constructs/values when we use it's language to describe ourselves and one another.

As always, thanks for the thought provoking post, Heart.
SEXY isnt just a femme thing, because I know hot sexy butch women. However by that persons own definition of their sexuality, some ppl arent comfortable with some nouns or pro~nouns,that others may 'SAY' to describe who they see. All we have to say is ...im not comfortable when you call me ... or say to me, whatver it is your not comfy with. Does that make sense, to anyone, but me? cuz now I feel kinda dorky:| But with an opinion.

[intrigue_in916]

Caution. Do not do this:

girlfriend: Does this skirt make my butt look fat?

me: No, your butt makes your butt look fat.

:rainbowAfro: OM FLIPPIN G!!!

[Chazz]

Hi, Intrigue_in916

Thank you for the discourse. And, thanks for giving me an opportunity to speak to something that has been on my mind, though it's not directed at you, per se.


SEXY isnt just a femme thing, because I know hot sexy butch women. However by that persons own definition of their sexuality, some ppl arent comfortable with some nouns or pro~nouns,that others may 'SAY' to describe who they see. All we have to say is ...im not comfortable when you call me ... or say to me, whatver it is your not comfy with. Does that make sense, to anyone, but me? cuz now I feel kinda dorky:| But with an opinion.

Yes to this, sorta.

FOR ME, the pronoun dilemma is a symptom of a false presence-absence dichotomy - a byproduct of Western logocentrical thought, linguistics, and representation.

Terms like good/bad, white/black, male/female, him/her (ad infinitum) were coined to denote "binary opposition". It is a long, established fact that Westerners (like us) think and speak in oppositions.

Butches like me make a lie of binary oppositions; in this case, the binary opposition of gender constructs.

Feminism, post-colonialism, post-anarchism, and critical race theory argue that binary dichotomies perpetuate and legitimize Western power structures that place "civilized" white men at the top of contrived hierarchies.

Post-structural (not post-modern) butches like me are not interested in a reversal of binary constructs, but their deconstruction.

I don't care that this is not necessarily so for all butches. I do care that it's true for butches like me. Not to assert this is to render myself, and those like me, invisible.

I'm not masculine or feminine, I'm Butch. My definition of Butch need not comport with anyone else's.



(I'm not comfortable with the term "Two-Spirited" because it feels like cultural appropriation FOR ME.)

[justanolecowboy]

I happen to be of the opinion that all femme women are beautiful ---femmes are amazing - beautiful - intriquing- sexy - captivating women -which is why we butches love them - right? - So it is for us to compliment them before they should need to ask - unless they are asking in that playful teasing way - that only they know how to ask? :)

However like others have posted I don't just think it is across the board not just femmes - we seem to have a hard time accepting compliments sometimes or off put someone who does - a simple smile or thank you is all that is needed - to rebuff someones genuine compliment is to take away their (blessing) so to speak.

We all need to compliment each other more - butches and femmes alike - and not just about clothing - but the way perhaps she smiles or how her eyes twinkle when she sees you or the shy way she slowly takes your hand - or perhaps how boldly and passionately she kisses you in public - just because - or the way she tosses her head back and laughs - that is just so amazing - lots of ways to compliment ---my advice --take notice of them all!

[Dude]

A femme always needs reassuring, it's not that she doesn't believe you....she just needs to know that she is still hot in your eyes.

I realize this was posted a month ago but "A femme always needs reassuring"
is along the same lines as " butch's (and/or any gender id here) always need their ego stroked".

Both make me feel queezy and I'm surprised I'm the first to say anything.

True confidence to me, is an inside job.
Not to mention, "always needs reassuring" makes femme's sound weak ,frail, insecure ,brainless and quite exhausting to be with or around.

I hate the premise that any of us people here, are all the same.
The If you've done one, you've done them all mentality get's my goat
every time I see it.
I'm so not an expert on all things femme because fortunately they are all so different and that in itself is THE MOST fascinating thing (to me)

[Chazz]

Confident or not, we all need reassuring.

It's an inside job.

[CherylNYC]

I realize this was posted a month ago but "A femme always needs reassuring"
is along the same lines as " butch's (and/or any gender id here) always need their ego stroked".

Both make me feel queezy and I'm surprised I'm the first to say anything.

True confidence to me, is an inside job.
Not to mention, "always needs reassuring" makes femme's sound weak ,frail, insecure ,brainless and quite exhausting to be with or around.

I hate the premise that any of us people here, are all the same.
The If you've done one, you've done them all mentality get's my goat
every time I see it.
I'm so not an expert on all things femme because fortunately they are all so different and that in itself is THE MOST fascinating thing (to me)

Thanks, Dude. I don't know how I missed that quote, and I really appreciate you pointing it out and writing such a great response.

[Red Dirt Girl]

Now that is a simple, brilliant assessment of the situation.
My experience with this topic is that anyone, wether butch, femme, allien, etc, would much rather be complimented before they ask

[Red Dirt Girl]

You were maybe the first one to say anything b/c I only now stumbeled upon this thread. I must agree, I was pretty icked-out at the notion that "a femme always needs reassuring". I don't mean to personally criticize the OP, but IMO, that statement was rather a gigantic generalization, and not a very favorable one (although I don't necessarily think that was the intent of the OP). Just my two cents.

Now tell me you love me and that I'm pretty. ("Prettiest" would be even better ...)
I realize this was posted a month ago but "A femme always needs reassuring"
is along the same lines as " butch's (and/or any gender id here) always need their ego stroked".

Both make me feel queezy and I'm surprised I'm the first to say anything.

True confidence to me, is an inside job.
Not to mention, "always needs reassuring" makes femme's sound weak ,frail, insecure ,brainless and quite exhausting to be with or around.

I hate the premise that any of us people here, are all the same.
The If you've done one, you've done them all mentality get's my goat
every time I see it.
I'm so not an expert on all things femme because fortunately they are all so different and that in itself is THE MOST fascinating thing (to me)

[Hack]

When in a relationship, my girl is told she looks amazing/stunning/hot/beautiful/sexy/gorgeous in her favorite little black dress, jeans and a t-shirt, in her work wear, wearing one of my dress shirts, in her pajamas, in my pajamas, in shorts, in whatever. Clothes don't make the girl. Everything else does.

Jake

[LaneyDoll]

Confident or not, we all need reassuring.

It's an inside job.

If you asked 20 people at my club, "who is the most confident person here" your replies would EXCLUSIVELY be "Laney" or "A" who is my best friend.

But having the appearance of confidence does not mean that I am not having a bad day b/c of work/illness/traffic or a myriad of other reasons. And when the world gets to be overwhelming, a kind compliment-especially a unique one is much appreciated. Even confident people like to hear that someone admires a certain quality about them, especially when that person is someone whose opinion we value OR when it is a complete stranger.

I went out a few years ago with a platonic friend of mine. We went to the local alt bar AFTER the party at the dungeon. It was easily 2 in the morning. But, as we were waiting to get in, she peered at me and said "your eyes look like works of art." She did not have to say that but she did and, despite her moving away, she will always have a special place in my heart.

About a year prior to that, a woman ahead of me in post-Christmas returns line at Wal-mart (a place that I hate by the way) made my night with a compliment. She told me that my eyes look like polished glass or gemstones. She took a stressful/tiring situation & turned it into a fond memory.

Never doubt the power of a compliment.



:sparklyheart:

[Dominique]

Ya know....just as we ask the gentlemen to respect our femme space....

we should respect the Butch space. I'm not trying to be thread police

BUT, it is marked BUTCH zone and alot of us ladies are in here telling our

Butches what they should be talking about. Fair is fair.....just saying!

[Red Dirt Girl]

If I read it correctly, I'm pretty sure that Merlin (OP) welcomed input from femmes. (post #2)
Ya know....just as we ask the gentlemen to respect our femme space....

we should respect the Butch space. I'm not trying to be thread police

BUT, it is marked BUTCH zone and alot of us ladies are in here telling our

Butches what they should be talking about. Fair is fair.....just saying!

[Dominique]

if thats the case, I appologize. I did not read all 64 posts. I read alot, and it was mostly femmes postings.

Sorry, as sorrys are do!


ETA:...Yes, post two says femme please apply. my bad!

[Red Dirt Girl]

No bad. Perfectly reasonable comments/concerns actually. (f)

To be honest, I find it's sometimes hard to know who is welcome in which posts, and when. I would not normally post in a thread entitled "For all things Butch", but I just felt so welcomed by Merlin's invitation. :)

Now I better go back to reading about girlie stuff! :byebye:

if thats the case, I appologize. I did not read all 64 posts. I read alot, and it was mostly femmes postings.

Sorry, as sorrys are do!


ETA:...Yes, post two says femme please apply. my bad!

[Starbuck]

Okay, this may or may not be the place to post this, but I have a question that I think needs to be answered by someone in the butch zone. I consider myself a soft femme, I'm dating a lipstick lesbian...she is HOT! This is where my question comes in: I am attracted to other soft femmes (or so it seems) and soft butches. What the hell? I love looking at a femmes ass and then I love making eye contact with a butch thinking "man I really go for that". Am I confused or just a middle of the road type person?? Someone please answer me.

[DCStone]

I appreciate the thread and all of the comments. I know that as a Stone Butch, I like to feel appreciated. Also, being called sexy or hot is certainly fine by me. Sometimes I am in my head a bit too much and forget to say out loud what I am thinking when I see my girl. She is sexy and beautiful...and needs to hear that from me. Bottom-line...we could all probably use some stroking living in a world that can be very harsh towards those that look or seem different.

[Red Dirt Girl]

If you weren't a SB do you think you wouldn't still like to feel appreciated? I know I would! :)
I appreciate the thread and all of the comments. I know that as a Stone Butch, I like to feel appreciated. Also, being called sexy or hot is certainly fine by me. Sometimes I am in my head a bit too much and forget to say out loud what I am thinking when I see my girl. She is sexy and beautiful...and needs to hear that from me. Bottom-line...we could all probably use some stroking living in a world that can be very harsh towards those that look or seem different.

[DCStone]

If you weren't a SB do you think you wouldn't still like to feel appreciated? I know I would! :)

Of course, I would still want to be appreciated even if I wasn't a Stone Butch. I think I could have written it differently. Thanks!:glasses:

[DCStone]

Okay, this may or may not be the place to post this, but I have a question that I think needs to be answered by someone in the butch zone. I consider myself a soft femme, I'm dating a lipstick lesbian...she is HOT! This is where my question comes in: I am attracted to other soft femmes (or so it seems) and soft butches. What the hell? I love looking at a femmes ass and then I love making eye contact with a butch thinking "man I really go for that". Am I confused or just a middle of the road type person?? Someone please answer me.

I do not necessarily think you are confused. Nothing wrong with allowing yourself to enjoy all types of women.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Okay, this may or may not be the place to post this, but I have a question that I think needs to be answered by someone in the butch zone. I consider myself a soft femme, I'm dating a lipstick lesbian...she is HOT! This is where my question comes in: I am attracted to other soft femmes (or so it seems) and soft butches. What the hell? I love looking at a femmes ass and then I love making eye contact with a butch thinking "man I really go for that". Am I confused or just a middle of the road type person?? Someone please answer me.



Well... You could always choose to date all over the gender spectrum till you find out what you like, a fine ass comes and goes a good person to share life with, that my friend is rare.:)

[Tangle]

This is my ideal answer to the big butt question:

"yes, baby, your ass looks big in that skirt. and oohhhhh, baby, you Know i sure do like it that way." ...as s/he grabs me for a kiss. *giggling*

lol- How bout that? Doesn't sound so bad to me! ...how does that song go? itty bitty waist and round thing in your face, you get sprung...

;)

[msW8ing]

When in a relationship, my girl is told she looks amazing/stunning/hot/beautiful/sexy/gorgeous in her favorite little black dress, jeans and a t-shirt, in her work wear, wearing one of my dress shirts, in her pajamas, in my pajamas, in shorts, in whatever. Clothes don't make the girl. Everything else does.

Jake

So well stated. Thank you!

:thumbsup::clap:

[intrigue_in916]

I don't understand gendered compliments or insults. To me, everyone is equally beautiful or a slut :tease:

OR ~~ Damn I'm beautifully slutty looking today:cherry:

[intrigue_in916]

I happen to be of the opinion that all femme women are beautiful ---femmes are amazing - beautiful - intriquing- sexy - captivating women -which is why we butches love them - right? - So it is for us to compliment them before they should need to ask - unless they are asking in that playful teasing way - that only they know how to ask? :)

However like others have posted I don't just think it is across the board not just femmes - we seem to have a hard time accepting compliments sometimes or off put someone who does - a simple smile or thank you is all that is needed - to rebuff someones genuine compliment is to take away their (blessing) so to speak.

We all need to compliment each other more - butches and femmes alike - and not just about clothing - but the way perhaps she smiles or how her eyes twinkle when she sees you or the shy way she slowly takes your hand - or perhaps how boldly and passionately she kisses you in public - just because - or the way she tosses her head back and laughs - that is just so amazing - lots of ways to compliment ---my advice --take notice of them all!

WOW! Night that is well put. And if I might add HOTT(f)

[clay]

agrees with intrigue...and yes night...very well put! I am one who loves to compliment "people" on something I may admire about them, or what they may have on..be it clothes..be it cologne..be it a smile...and am easily "bruised" when someone isn't able to accept it just for what it is..a COMPLIMENT. Caring and concern, being ones also...let it just be simply that...care and concern..and a compliment...thanks for the post! ClayWOW! Night that is well put. And if I might add HOTT(f)

[intrigue_in916]

When in a relationship, my girl is told she looks amazing/stunning/hot/beautiful/sexy/gorgeous in her favorite little black dress, jeans and a t-shirt, in her work wear, wearing one of my dress shirts, in her pajamas, in my pajamas, in shorts, in whatever. Clothes don't make the girl. Everything else does.

Jake

Question `~ Do play clothes make the woman, or just lend to the fantasy?:blueheels:

[intrigue_in916]

Never. Because, in the eyes of the beholder, "femme" always looks amazing.

:moonstars:

signing up, because...i've been on vacation and missed the funny's:byebye:

Tommi, Those were key words, 'BEAUTY IS ALWAYS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER'

[cuddlyfemme]

I totally agree with Intergue...Tommi those are the key words "Beauty Is In The Eye of the Beholder" It doesn't matter what others think is beautiful, its only what you think

[ruffryder]

Why when a femme asks you how she looks in an outfit .. Does she think your lying when you tell her she looks amazing ?

I hope not, because I'm not!

When in a relationship, my girl is told she looks amazing/stunning/hot/beautiful/sexy/gorgeous in her favorite little black dress, jeans and a t-shirt, in her work wear, wearing one of my dress shirts, in her pajamas, in my pajamas, in shorts, in whatever. Clothes don't make the girl. Everything else does.

Jake

Definitely Jake, I agree. If you are with the girl, she looks good always! (:
I got accused of "staring" at my girl cause I kept looking at her cause she is damn amazing and beautiful and I was mesmerized. The clothes she wears, the way she acts, and her mannerisms are all a part of who she is and it's all beautiful to me! :gimmehug:

[LaneyDoll]

Definitely Jake, I agree. If you are with the girl, she looks good always! (:
I got accused of "staring" at my girl cause I kept looking at her cause she is damn amazing and beautiful and I was mesmerized. The clothes she wears, the way she acts, and her mannerisms are all a part of who she is and it's all beautiful to me! :gimmehug:

Awww, that is soooooo sweet!

:sparklyheart:

[AtLast]

Okay, this may or may not be the place to post this, but I have a question that I think needs to be answered by someone in the butch zone. I consider myself a soft femme, I'm dating a lipstick lesbian...she is HOT! This is where my question comes in: I am attracted to other soft femmes (or so it seems) and soft butches. What the hell? I love looking at a femmes ass and then I love making eye contact with a butch thinking "man I really go for that". Am I confused or just a middle of the road type person?? Someone please answer me.

I think you are who you are and that is just fine!

[ruffryder]

I think you are who you are and that is just fine!

I do not necessarily think you are confused. Nothing wrong with allowing yourself to enjoy all types of women.

TO STARBUCK: I agree. I think you will figure it out in time, no need to be confused darlin.

[Deborah*]

Why when a femme asks you how she looks in an outfit .. Does she think your lying when you tell her she looks amazing ?
Sorry, I'm a femme answering this at a butch area of the planet.

I honestly believe it's due to low self-esteem. There are many women with self-esteem issues who would react like this, it's because (in my opinion) they truly feel on the inside that they're not deserving of the compliment.

Deborah

[homoe]

I've never experienced a femme not believing me when I said she looked good in something..........Compliments are wonderful things, they cost nothing to give and it can make a person's whole day!

[cathexis]

I've never experienced a femme not believing me when I said she looked good in something..........Compliments are wonderful things, they cost nothing to give and it can make a person's whole day!

Jest with me a minute. Maybe all the femmes were good at deception in order to have an easy "icebreaker" to a hot butch. lol

Or you are correct about them believing you, and you did make their day.

OR maybe they were very gullible OR both even!

[homoe]

Jest with me a minute. Maybe all the femmes were good at deception in order to have an easy "icebreaker" to a hot butch. lol

Or you are correct about them believing you, and you did make their day.

OR maybe they were very gullible OR both even!

.......:giggle:.........

[homoe]

I've never experienced a femme not believing me when I said she looked good in something..........Compliments are wonderful things, they cost nothing to give and it can make a person's whole day!

I'm in a super good mood today and I plan on complimenting any and all women I run across today.....:eyebat:

[homoe]

My experience with this topic is that anyone, wether butch, femme, allien, etc, would much rather be complimented before they ask



........:goodpost:......

[laura4daddy]

I've never experienced a femme not believing me when I said she looked good in something..........Compliments are wonderful things, they cost nothing to give and it can make a person's whole day!


Please excuse me, I'm a noob I know but I loved this quote ^.

And yes I totally agree. I have suffered with low self esteem and apparently am told I'm quite attractive but it definitely means a lot when someone looks you in the eye and you can tell they mean it when they compliment you no matter how small, having spent some time getting ready and trying to look your best I guess it's validation in a way but for me, perhaps it's a femme thing but I love dressing to please or to impress so it's almost like an achievement to get a 'you look nice' as most likely I wanted to impress someone or catch someone's eye in the first place. Hope that makes sense.

[homoe]

Please excuse me, I'm a noob I know but I loved this quote ^.

And yes I totally agree. I have suffered with low self esteem and apparently am told I'm quite attractive but it definitely means a lot when someone looks you in the eye and you can tell they mean it when they compliment you no matter how small, having spent some time getting ready and trying to look your best I guess it's validation in a way but for me, perhaps it's a femme thing but I love dressing to please or to impress so it's almost like an achievement to get a 'you look nice' as most likely I wanted to impress someone or catch someone's eye in the first place. Hope that makes sense.

I had to look up "noob"....:giggle:

[Stone-Butch]

I think every femme deserves a complement just for being a femme and taking her time to look her best regardless of her original appearance. Inside is so much more impressive than outside in my opinion. Besides guys there might be a super brain in there and more than likely is. Brains, talent and a good heart far outdoes appearances. If she is good looking that is a bonus.