Transgendered Furry Slave

[Okiebug61]

Ok! I have to admit I had never heard of this identity until my brother-in-law brought his girlfriend over and introduced her to us. She identifies as a Transgendered Furry Slave!

I'll cut to the chase and just say it. It's bugging the living hell out of Red and myself. Not because her brother is into this but because he is pushing his 12 year old son to accept this without any questions. The poor kid is in the middle of full blown puberty and is having a huge problem with all of this. The furry wears a tale in public and the slave collar with a huge lock. The brother wears the key to the lock around his neck. It's embarrassing poor Nick and he doesn't want to go anywhere with his dad and the furry in public.

I do not want to offend anyone but seriously, why should a child be forced to deal with this. Our hands are tied and Red is seriously upset and I haven't a clue what to do.

The furry also has drama issues that are way beyond my tolerance zone! She claims to suffer from major fainting spells due to an head injury as a child, which I won't question the truth of this matter, however her fainting spell in the middle of our party last night was more than overboard for me. It was at best the worst rendition of a silent movie faint I have ever seen, oh but the lit cigarette never left her hand. The brother ran to her rescue brought her inside and well the rest is just more BS.

My question is how would any of you handle this situation?

[morningstar55]

i know this is hard to do with a family member
BUT.........
think of your nephew .... you would be his voice call SS / child protective dept... you dont have to tell them who you really are.
I did .... with a member of my family....... my sister cuz she had a drinking problem and would drive to get her son from school and among other things.
just my 2 cents ... but no your nephew being a minor should NOT be subject to his dad's sexual/fetish life style.
where is your nephews mom???
maybe offer your home to your nephew to come too... ?? just a thought

[Apocalipstic]

While I admit to being amused about the trangendered furry...a lot of people think being gay is just as disgusting.

Calling DHS seems really harsh.

It will pass.

Drunk driving children is illegal and dangerous, wearing a tail is not placing anyone in danger.

[morningstar55]

While I admit to being amused about the trangendered furry...a lot of people think being gay is just as disgusting.

Calling DHS seems really harsh.

It will pass.

Drunk driving children is illegal and dangerous, wearing a tail is not placing anyone in danger.

.. a tail in public.. i heard about this furry stuff... and thought these tails were ahh well umm butt plugs?
mayb some intervention with the father ??

[Corkey]

The child should not have to suffer for the fathers relationship in public. However the adult has every right to his relationship. I think someone should talk to the adult about it, but really it is no ones business what the adults do, but the child should not have to be involved if the child doesn't want to be.

[Apocalipstic]

I don't think the narcoleptic GF should actually drive.....but otherwise

does it matter if tail is butt plug?

[Andrea]

Perhaps a reminder to the pre-teen's father about how hard it is to be seen in public with your parents at that age. Throw in parents marching to a different drummer and the embarrassment (coupled with possible bullying) could feel devastating to the child.

Have the father and child had a heart to heart open discussion about this?

I would find some alone time with your nephew and tell him nearly all parents do something to embarrass their children. Some more painful than others. Make yourself available to your nephew whenever he needs someone to talk to.

This may not be your cup of tea and it may not be how you would handle things but your nephew should make it to adulthood with a minimal amount of therapy even with this in his life.

As to your discomfort and the fainting..... ummm... I think I would avoid them if possible. I certainly wouldn't enable the drama queen's fainting spells by offering attention.

Good luck with this,
Andrea

[girl_dee]

That is such a tender age, I would think the father would have more respect for his son and realize that being such an object of attention while in public is hard for any 12 year old.

The father has a right to whatever lifestyle he chooses but forcing his son to agree with it and be part of it while in public is unfair.

[Okiebug61]

While I admit to being amused about the trangendered furry...a lot of people think being gay is just as disgusting.

Calling DHS seems really harsh.

It will pass.

Drunk driving children is illegal and dangerous, wearing a tail is not placing anyone in danger.

We would never call DHS unless the Furry tries to hurt Nick!

I have to disagree, about it not being dangerous. We live in Oklahoma and the rednecks aren't too crazy about certain things. Nick is also bi-racial and that has been a big issue for him at times because when he with his Dad's side of the family he feels people stare at him cause he doesn't look like anyone.

[Okiebug61]

The child should not have to suffer for the fathers relationship in public. However the adult has every right to his relationship. I think someone should talk to the adult about it, but really it is no ones business what the adults do, but the child should not have to be involved if the child doesn't want to be.

The father has already told Nick and us that it's a packaged deal. Nick's mother has custody and she is not aware of the situation.

[PaPa]

Bingo! Mom needs to know..... Ever hear the saying, "if momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy"?

[Corkey]

The father has already told Nick and us that it's a packaged deal. Nick's mother has custody and she is not aware of the situation.


There would be your answer then, yes?

[Lynn]

If his father isn't open to discussion about it, then maybe it would be good to offer to have him spend more time with Aunts Red and Okiebug. Just having other role models and an opportunity for venting and asking questions may help mitigate some of the discomfort or trauma he may be experiencing.

[Blade]

Nick might need counseling or even family counseling to help him/them work thru the issues he is obviously facing. Depending on how he absorbs and accepts these issues, he could easily be headed down a self destructive path in the future. The various ways children act out in response to things going on in their lives can make for an ugly experience transitioning from preteen and all of its pressures and peer pressure to teen to young adult with unresolved issues.

If I were the custodial parent, I certainly would want to know. At least it would give me the chance to talk to him and to the noncustodial parent and see if we could work out something in the best interest of the child.

[Okiebug61]

I think his mom should know. I think Red should tell her brother he as a certain amount of time to tell Nick's mom what is going on or she is going to tell him. I think her biggest fear right now is not getting to see Nick!

Thanks for everyone's great advice.

[morningstar55]

i agree ... mom should know.....
if the father is doing this going out in public... can't imagine what goes on in front of his son behind closed doors...

[morningstar55]

I think his mom should know. I think Red should tell her brother he as a certain amount of time to tell Nick's mom what is going on or she is going to tell him. I think her biggest fear right now is not getting to see Nick!

Thanks for everyone's great advice.

why would she not get to see him?? if its ok to ask

[Gayla]

To me, this has very little to do with anyone's personal ID and everything to do with what is appropriate, or rather inappropriate in this case, behavior to display in front of a 12 year old.

It's one thing for a person to say that they are staying true to their personal ID and proudly displaying that for the world to see but something completely different when that ID impacts a child. It takes it to yet another completely different level when the people involved are actually raising the child and not just walking past them on the street.

Claiming that a 12 year old is just going to have to deal with it, is so beyond wrong that I really don't even have words for it.

Although, I'd be happy to go for hours about the long term affects of the "dealing" options.

[Andrea]

To those that find this situation offensive:

How is this any different than people who are offended by gay parenting and how much that is harmful to the children?

The idea of a Transgendered Furry Slave makes me go yewwww but I fail to see how this is anymore harmful for the child than other things parents do.

Please help me see what you see.

Thank you
Andrea

[DomnNC]

I think his mom should know. I think Red should tell her brother he as a certain amount of time to tell Nick's mom what is going on or she is going to tell him. I think her biggest fear right now is not getting to see Nick!

Thanks for everyone's great advice.

Personally, I don't think he should be given a warning. I'd just call the mom and tell her. If you wanted to see your nephew then I'd just call the mom and ask if you could see him, I'm sure she'd respect ya'll more for coming straight to her with the info and would allow ya'll to see him because she would know ya'll had his best interests at heart. No child should be subjected to their parents/caregivers kink and sexual fetishes, it is abusive at best. A child should not have their sexual identities shaped by their parents, this is something a child should explore and define for themselves just like we all did.

[Corkey]

For me it is offensive because the father is not respecting his child. Just because he wants to live his kink, it doesn't give him the right to force his child to live it with him. That is child abuse.

[Gayla]

To those that find this situation offensive:

How is this any different than people who are offended by gay parenting and how much that is harmful to the children?

The idea of a Transgendered Furry Slave makes me go yewwww but I fail to see how this is anymore harmful for the child than other things parents do.

Please help me see what you see.

Thank you
Andrea

Andrea - Do you really not see a difference between exposing a sexual kink to a 12 year old and gay parents raising children?

[Ebon]

Ok! I have to admit I had never heard of this identity until my brother-in-law brought his girlfriend over and introduced her to us. She identifies as a Transgendered Furry Slave!

I'll cut to the chase and just say it. It's bugging the living hell out of Red and myself. Not because her brother is into this but because he is pushing his 12 year old son to accept this without any questions. The poor kid is in the middle of full blown puberty and is having a huge problem with all of this. The furry wears a tale in public and the slave collar with a huge lock. The brother wears the key to the lock around his neck. It's embarrassing poor Nick and he doesn't want to go anywhere with his dad and the furry in public.

I do not want to offend anyone but seriously, why should a child be forced to deal with this. Our hands are tied and Red is seriously upset and I haven't a clue what to do.

The furry also has drama issues that are way beyond my tolerance zone! She claims to suffer from major fainting spells due to an head injury as a child, which I won't question the truth of this matter, however her fainting spell in the middle of our party last night was more than overboard for me. It was at best the worst rendition of a silent movie faint I have ever seen, oh but the lit cigarette never left her hand. The brother ran to her rescue brought her inside and well the rest is just more BS.

My question is how would any of you handle this situation?

The poor kid is embarrassed like any normal 12 year old would be and the lady sounds like a drama queen but I don't understand how her wearing a tail is damaging him. The lady herself sounds ridiculous and hilarious but I mean have you ever seen them doing anything inappropriate in front of the kid besides being a transsexual furry? Wearing a lock and key, how is that damaging to him do they make him wear it? Being 12 is rough and having an odd parent is even more rough but I'm sure if the furry lady wasn't so outlandish and just kind of "normal" and up to everyone's standards would it be ok then? I don't know the full story just going on what I know.

[Andrea]

Andrea - Do you really not see a difference between exposing a sexual kink to a 12 year old and gay parents raising children?

I truly believe there are many people who think being gay is a sexual kink. In addition, I am not in the position to determine that this situation is one of sexual kink. It could well be sexual kink but is the child being exposed to sex or is the child only being exposed to someone wearing fur? Should parents into leather or BDSM not wear anything that indicates their kink when spending time with children?

I am not trying to argue. I find this situation icky too. I just don't believe it is that harmful to the child.

Andrea

[Corkey]

Perhaps because none of us are a 12 year old straight boy it is hard to understand. Quite frankly, I get it. I as a parent would not expose my kid to my kink, it's mine, I own it.

[WolfyOne]

The poor kid is embarrassed like any normal 12 year old would be and the lady sounds like a drama queen but I don't understand how her wearing a tail is damaging him. The lady herself sounds ridiculous and hilarious but I mean have you ever seen them doing anything inappropriate in front of the kid besides being a transsexual furry? Wearing a lock and key, how is that damaging to him do they make him wear it? Being 12 is rough and having an odd parent is even more rough but I'm sure if the furry lady wasn't so outlandish and just kind of "normal" and up to everyone's standards would it be ok then? I don't know the full story just going on what I know.

Ebon, I could see it not being a problem in a big city where anything goes any day of the week. In Oklahoma, however, depending where you live, it could be a problem. By her wearing it in public, it is damaging to his mental growth. At school he could get teased or even worse, beat up because of her. Kids can be quite cruel to other kids when they find what they consider an oddity or a weakness.

Ok and on the funny side, I'm surprised wearing a tail in Oklahoma, a hunter hasn't wanted to declare open season on her.

I'm all for different strokes for different folks as long as children aren't involved.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I have to ask as everyone goes ewww and ickie, has anyone considered that we may have furries in this very community..

How do we know this 12 year old is straight?

Why isn't the mother being told?

Why is it wrong for an adult to wear a tail?

Has the father taken time to talk to his kid?

What does public mean? Is the furrie going to a school function in furrie wear?

Is the issue cause the person is transgendred? A slave? Or a furrie?

I'm curious as a slave Owner with kids.

[scootebaby]

If the father was taking the sons feelings and thoughts into consideration,and having an open,honest conversation about it instead of saying"the kid just has to deal with it" then i would be less apt to have the knee jerk reaction that i had. Personally i think it sets a bad example to expose a child to any out of the norm behavior without at least some conversations/explanations concerning it.

To me it reads as the childs feelings,thoughts etc do not count--at the very least that is telling the child he does not count.

As a mother i would want to know what my child is being subjected too...hell my son is 16 and i STILL worry about what he is exposed to,as well as worry about how things affect him--emotionally,personally etc etc

I think communication is key in EVERY relationship...mother or father/child husband/wife, girlfriend/girlfriend etc.

sidenote: when i say "out of the norm behavior" i do not mean it in a derogatory manner,but honestly there are things that are deemed norm/not norm in EVERY group of ppl and society.

[Corkey]

[QUOTE=The_Lady_Snow;371902]I have to ask as everyone goes ewww and ickie, has anyone considered that we may have furries in this very community..

Not icky or eeewwwing personally.

How do we know this 12 year old is straight?

We don't, it is however assumed

Why isn't the mother being told?

Good question

Why is it wrong for an adult to wear a tail?

It isn't

Has the father taken time to talk to his kid?

Unknown

What does public mean? Is the furrie going to a school function in furrie wear?

Unknown, don't know where the public exposure is.

Is the issue cause the person is transgendred? A slave? Or a furrie?

I think the issue is the boy being exposed to the person against his will, from what I got from the OP

I'm curious as a slave Owner with kids.

[The_Lady_Snow]

The mother should be called if she doesn't know what is going on with her child, and why isn't the kid talking to his mom?

PS-

Oklahoma's kink community is HUGE they have one of the BEST Leather/BDSM events in the Midwest,;)

[Andrea]

I have to ask as everyone goes ewww and ickie, has anyone considered that we may have furries in this very community..

I'm curious as a slave Owner with kids.

I have considered that we may have furries in this community but it still isn't something I find interesting to me so, as in I don't like Swiss Chard, I find it icky. I am not intentionally pronouncing judgment on others. It just doesn't float my boat.

Very good questions, Ms. Snow.

Andrea

[The_Lady_Snow]

I have considered that we may have furries in this community but it still isn't something I find interesting to me so, as in I don't like Swiss Chard, I find it icky. I am not intentionally pronouncing judgment on others. It just doesn't float my boat.

Very good questions, Ms. Snow.

Andrea



I don't particularly like vanilla Andrea or creamed corn yet I'm not gonna go ewwwww ickie and not consider folks that do.

[atomiczombie]

I think it is so wrong to expose a 12 year old to your kink if that 12 year old is distressed by it. Kink is an adult domain. If the kid is uncomfortable, why expose him to it? The duty of a parent is to protect the child. Exposing the kid to your same-sex or trans partner is one thing, cause that is not a kink. And, the mother should know what is going on, for sure. I would tell her, Okie, if I were you, and have a talk with his dad about it.

There is nothing wrong with this kind of kink, but it should not be exposed to a kid who feels uncomfortable with it.

[Corkey]

I personally think we are missing the point. Adults can do as they wish, a kid has no business in an adults kink. That's my POV. What adults do with other consenting adults is hunkie dory. From the OP I get that the kid is not consenting, nor an adult.

[Julie]

Look - I am not going to defend the parents here or the child... Because all we have is a brief synopsis from the OP Okie.

Once upon a time my eldest was unhappy that I was a lesbian and had a very butch partner. I forced my child to live with this. I am/was the custodial parent. Was I being an abusive parent? Should they have been taken away from me, because I lived as an open out there militant dyke.

There are people in this world that feel my children were being abused by being subjected to my homosexuality.

How does this really differ? Who are we to say what is right and what is wrong?

Kids will have issues. We sometimes as parents add to their issues, but it is our responsibility as parents to be sensitive and have communication.

That would be the question for me. Are the parents being open with this child and are they hearing him and explaining things in a form which might make the child understand more?

In some communities in society - being gay or lesbian is considered deviant and kinky.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I'm confused as why the OP didn't go or hasn't gone to the unknowing mom, yet now all of us and the internets know. How unfair that the Mother has no clue yet we do.

[JustJo]

As the mom of a (presumably) straight 13 year old boy, I think Mom should definitely be told...and someone needs to be talking to Dad also.

As parents, it's our responsibility to make sure that our kids are okay...and anything that makes them embarassed or uncomfortable should be talked about - whether it has to do with sex or anything else.

For me, this shows that dad is being incredibly insensitive to his child's needs and feelings.

If the child is actually being targeted by his peers, then it's even worse than insensitivity on Dad's part.

[atomiczombie]

Look - I am not going to defend the parents here or the child... Because all we have is a brief synopsis from the OP Okie.

Once upon a time my eldest was unhappy that I was a lesbian and had a very butch partner. I forced my child to live with this. I am/was the custodial parent. Was I being an abusive parent? Should they have been taken away from me, because I lived as an open out there militant dyke.

There are people in this world that feel my children were being abused by being subjected to my homosexuality.

How does this really differ? Who are we to say what is right and what is wrong?

Kids will have issues. We sometimes as parents add to their issues, but it is our responsibility as parents to be sensitive and have communication.

That would be the question for me. Are the parents being open with this child and are they hearing him and explaining things in a form which might make the child understand more?

In some communities in society - being gay or lesbian is considered deviant and kinky.

That may be in some communities, straight ones, but it is not true. Homosexuality isn't a kink. It is about who you are attracted to and who you love, not what gets you off or what you do in the bedroom, or dungeon, etc. Kink is an erotic category. Like Corkey said, this kid is not a consenting adult. Big difference!

[The_Lady_Snow]

Is the child being educated that current partner is transgendered? I feel THAT in itself is a topic they should be discussing, the slave tail part would be the least of my worries.

[Julie]

That may be in some communities, straight ones, but it is not true. Homosexuality isn't a kink. It is about who you are attracted to and who you love, not what gets you off or what you do in the bedroom, or dungeon, etc. Kink is an erotic category. Like Corkey said, this kid is not a consenting adult. Big difference!

In many communities homosexuality is considered deviant sex and kink.
Gay men are still placed along side with pedophilia.

I am not disagreeing - I think the parents need to speak with the child, if they have not already done so. We really do not have all the details and all we are doing is judging.

Do you not see the judgment here? And all this based on a few lines of text.

[Andrea]

I don't particularly like vanilla Andrea or creamed corn yet I'm not gonna go ewwwww ickie and not consider folks that do.

Once again I have not been clear. It is not the person I find icky. It is the wearing of fur. Just the thought makes me itch.

Andrea

[WolfyOne]

I think I'd be wondering more, if the mom is the custodial parent, then why isn't the boy with her

I believe there's much more to this story than we know

Who knows what this child has been exposed to throughout his young years

[morningstar55]

Look - I am not going to defend the parents here or the child... Because all we have is a brief synopsis from the OP Okie.

Once upon a time my eldest was unhappy that I was a lesbian and had a very butch partner. I forced my child to live with this. I am/was the custodial parent. Was I being an abusive parent? Should they have been taken away from me, because I lived as an open out there militant dyke.

There are people in this world that feel my children were being abused by being subjected to my homosexuality.

How does this really differ? Who are we to say what is right and what is wrong?

Kids will have issues. We sometimes as parents add to their issues, but it is our responsibility as parents to be sensitive and have communication.

That would be the question for me. Are the parents being open with this child and are they hearing him and explaining things in a form which might make the child understand more?

In some communities in society - being gay or lesbian is considered deviant and kinky.

... ahh hmm i dont know...... do you let your kids into your bedroom while having sex?? do you leave your adult toys laying around so your kids can see it ?? or play with them in front of your kids?? do you talk to your partner with sexual comments or gestures .. in front of your kids?? do you walk around with a tail stuck in your but around yours kids??
or
are ya'll just raising them as any normal parenting couple gay or str8 should??
you forced your kids to live with you and your butch partner?? were you embrassed by this??? or am i missing something here??

i lived in a few big cities and im sorry but i never ever ever.. witness people walking up and down the streets having a tail poking out of there butt's.
on a every day basis...

im gay .... i keep my kinks in the bedroom. its . what I figure guess a time and place.

just my 2cents .

im heading out the nature reserv here in iowa.....in a lil bit here.. and hit the trails... maybe i should ask Mr Leonard if hy would stick a tail in my butt so i can walk around for all to see .. yes?? or wait........ maybe the spreader bar.. that should be interesting.. heh

[The_Lady_Snow]

I'm going to assume that most of you feel I'm fucking up my kids because I have slaves who when collared have a lock and chain proudlyaround their necks. I assure you my children have never been abused by my hand and are highly evolved caring human beings. They've also been around leather clad men and women and have Leather men as God parents.

[Julie]

Once again I have not been clear. It is not the person I find icky. It is the wearing of fur. Just the thought makes me itch.

Andrea

I agree - wearing dead animals repulses me - however... I do not throw red paint at fur wearers (anymore). Once upon a time, I stood in front of bloomingdales with a can of red paint.

Those were the days.

I don't think a furrie is about wearing dead animals, really. I bet there are some vegan furries.

[Corkey]

I don't know, if any educating is being done, but the OP needs to talk to the mom because it is her responsibility to know what is going on in her sons life. I don't understand why Red wouldn't be in her nephews life if she told the mom, that makes no since to me.

[Julie]

... ahh hmm i dont know...... do you let your kids into your bedroom while having sex?? do you leave your adult toys laying around so your kids can see it ?? or play with them in front of your kids?? do you talk to your partner with sexual comments or gestures .. in front of your kids?? do you walk around with a tail stuck in your but around yours kids??
or
are ya'll just raising them as any normal parenting couple gay or str8 should??
you forced your kids to live with you and your butch partner?? were you embrassed by this??? or am i missing something here??

i lived in a few big cities and im sorry but i never ever ever.. witness people walking up and down the streets having a tail poking out of there butt's.
on a every day basis...

im gay .... i keep my kinks in the bedroom. its . what I figure guess a time and place.

just my 2cents .

im heading out the nature reserv here in iowa.....in a lil bit here.. and hit the trails... maybe i should ask Mr Leonard if hy would stick a tail in my butt so i can walk around for all to see .. yes?? or wait........ maybe the spreader bar.. that should be interesting.. heh


Please do go back and read my post. NO, I was not embarrassed by the fact I have lived and loved female bodied masculine women for 33 years. My point about FORCING them, was keeping them in the home, even when it was an issue for my son. Got it?

I absolutely cuddled and kissed my partner in front of my partner. We slowed danced and she would smack my ass! My kids would shriek with joy.

My point - OUR community is considered as KINK and Deviant by other communities. Do you not see that we are taking another faction of our community and judging. That is my point.

And personally, I could care less if someone wears a tail - I would be respectful and as a parent, if I brought my children into a situation where there was were furries, I would explain to them in a most loving, respectful and nurturing manner. It is how I have always raised my children - to know, we are all different.

But then again - my kids knew about sex - inside and out at a very young age. They used to sit in on safe sex meetings I would give, which included anal and oral sex discussion.

[The_Lady_Snow]

FFS people they ARE NOT wearing dead animals on their bodies, they buy expensive animal costumes of choice and wear them at events and Furrie Fetish is common in both heteronormative and queer culture and NOT necessarily tied to Leather/BDSM.

[Corkey]

I'm going to assume that most of you feel I'm fucking up my kids because I have slaves who when collared have a lock and chain proudlyaround their necks. I assure you my children have never been abused by my hand and are highly evolved caring human beings. They've also been around leather clad men and women and have Leather men as God parents.

Not at all, I trust that you have talked extensively to your children and have taken their opinions into account. I do not see the correlation between the OP's scenario and your pack at all.
I know you to be honest and sensitive to your children and their needs.

[atomiczombie]

In many communities homosexuality is considered deviant sex and kink.
Gay men are still placed along side with pedophilia.

I am not disagreeing - I think the parents need to speak with the child, if they have not already done so. We really do not have all the details and all we are doing is judging.

Do you not see the judgment here? And all this based on a few lines of text.

Yes I am making a judgment, you are right. However, given what the OP said, I don't think my judgment is unreasonable. I don't consider myself a judgmental person, in that I don't condemn people for having a different point of view or living a different lifestyle than I do. (And I am a very kinky guy in the bedroom, dungeon, etc myself!) Consenting adults have the right to do what they please as long as it doesn't harm anyone. According to the OP, this kid is really uncomfortable. He isn't a consenting adult. Therefore, it is harming someone.

Perhaps we don't know the whole story, and there are other factors to consider that we don't know about. I can only go on what the OP said and I find the described situation to be very disturbing and unfair to the child.

[Gemme]

i know this is hard to do with a family member
BUT.........
think of your nephew .... you would be his voice call SS / child protective dept... you dont have to tell them who you really are.
I did .... with a member of my family....... my sister cuz she had a drinking problem and would drive to get her son from school and among other things.
just my 2 cents ... but no your nephew being a minor should NOT be subject to his dad's sexual/fetish life style.
where is your nephews mom???
maybe offer your home to your nephew to come too... ?? just a thought

Calling CPS is extreme, especially when all of the facts are not present.

The father has already told Nick and us that it's a packaged deal. Nick's mother has custody and she is not aware of the situation.

Like most others have said, this is a problem. The custodial parent needs to know what's going on with her child when he is not in her home/presence. That is not to say that she needs to agree with the dad's slave and all that it entails for him, but awareness is a necessity.

To me, this has very little to do with anyone's personal ID and everything to do with what is appropriate, or rather inappropriate in this case, behavior to display in front of a 12 year old.

It's one thing for a person to say that they are staying true to their personal ID and proudly displaying that for the world to see but something completely different when that ID impacts a child. It takes it to yet another completely different level when the people involved are actually raising the child and not just walking past them on the street.

Claiming that a 12 year old is just going to have to deal with it, is so beyond wrong that I really don't even have words for it.

Although, I'd be happy to go for hours about the long term affects of the "dealing" options.

I agree that an adult's personal identity should not be thrust on a child. They are still trying to assimilate in this world and one's father and his furry slave may create confusion and other emotional and identity issues if not addressed openly and honestly with the boy and, ideally, the custodial parent.

A child should not have their sexual identities shaped by their parents, this is something a child should explore and define for themselves just like we all did.

Exactly. Educate the child, but don't dictate to him.

I have to ask as everyone goes ewww and ickie, has anyone considered that we may have furries in this very community..

How do we know this 12 year old is straight?

Why isn't the mother being told?

Why is it wrong for an adult to wear a tail?

Has the father taken time to talk to his kid?

What does public mean? Is the furrie going to a school function in furrie wear?

Is the issue cause the person is transgendred? A slave? Or a furrie?

I'm curious as a slave Owner with kids.

You beat me to the questions I was thinking. We all know what happens when we assume something. Whether the boy is gay, straight, bi or a transgendered furry himself is neither an issue nor a concern for any of us here.

The mother needs to know. She doesn't need to approve, but there needs to be open lines of communication and the boy needs to see both families working together.

I think the tail should be left at home when it comes to the PTA, but the grocery store is different.

Good last question! I wonder if it's the visual of the tail that's so offensive or if it's the rest of it and the complex identity and orientation issues that are sure to come up.

If there is a safety issue for the boy, due to the ignorance we all know is out there, then his safety and well-being should come before anyone's exhibition of their kink. Kids come first.

[Julie]

Yes I am making a judgment, you are right. However, given what the OP said, I don't think my judgment is unreasonable. I don't consider myself a judgmental person, in that I don't condemn people for having a different point of view or living a different lifestyle than I do. (And I am a very kinky guy in the bedroom, dungeon, etc myself!) Consenting adults have the right to do what they please as long as it doesn't harm anyone. According to the OP, this kid is really uncomfortable. He isn't a consenting adult. Therefore, it is harming someone.

Perhaps we don't know the whole story, and there are other factors to consider that we don't know about. I can only go on what the OP said and I find the described situation to be very disturbing and unfair to the child.

And that's what I am trying to get across. We don't really know the whole story. Is it not possible the kid is feeling all sorts of shame, because other people are? Is it possible Okie and Red are throwing their shame onto the kid? Perhaps the child was okay with it, until someone said - Whoahhh wait a minute - are you okay with this? LIGHT BULB?

Children are pretty remarkable and understanding. They are more open than most adults. It is when adults start putting their shit onto them, that issues tend to arise.

I still believe, we are hearing a little bit of something and not the whole story. Should the Mother know what is going on? Absolutely - as much as I wanted to know what was going on in the house of my kids father. Actually, I knew everything - but then again -- I made sure I knew. That is my responsibility as a parent. To parent and always know my kids are safe. Where is Mom? And why doesn't she know? Perhaps she is not so proactive! Perhaps the child doesn't trust her enough to discuss.

HELLO?

[Heart]

Why the focus on whether this 12-year-old kid is gay or straight? What does that have to do with anything? This seems to be more a question of children, parents, and kinks.

Personally, I see a HUGE difference between being a kinky parent and being a queer parent. Queer parents can be as private as straight parents about their sexual/intimate lives. (It's really homophobes that over-focus on what queers do in bed, and sexualize queers all the time.)

Parents with kinks may be queer OR straight, (this particular couple sounds straight-identified), so the question really seems to be one of whether or not and how much to expose children to their parents sexual/erotic kinks.

I think of kink as erotic power-exchange, and that is not something I would choose to share with my child. Others may feel differently, but in my opinion this father is forcing his child to be a voyeur, and that violates boundaries of consent.

[Andrea]

I'm going to assume that most of you feel I'm fucking up my kids because I have slaves who when collared have a lock and chain proudlyaround their necks. I assure you my children have never been abused by my hand and are highly evolved caring human beings. They've also been around leather clad men and women and have Leather men as God parents.

Nearly every day I read about a child being kept in a cage, starved, beaten, forced to have sex, killed, on and on....

What you have stated is in no way abuse and I do not see abuse of the OP's nephew based on the information provided. Lack of consideration and open communication, yes, but not abuse.

Andrea

[Corkey]

I don't need to know anything more than the child is uncomfortable. Full stop. What the adults do is not my concern. The OP said the kid is uncomfortable around the adult behavior. The kids mom needs to know, what she does with the information is up to her as his custodial parent. If the kid needs more support from his family, he should by all means get it. When the kid reaches adulthood, he can decide for himself. Simple respect all the way around.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I don't need to know anything more than the child is uncomfortable. Full stop. What the adults do is not my concern. The OP said the kid is uncomfortable around the adult behavior. The kids mom needs to know, what she does with the information is up to her as his custodial parent. If the kid needs more support from his family, he should by all means get it. When the kid reaches adulthood, he can decide for himself. Simple respect all the way around.



In that case INSTEAD of coming in and starting a thread the OP should of taken this to the unknowing parent (custodial Mom), that would of made more sense since the concern is about a distraught child. I'm STILL confused why that was not the OP's FIRST step taken.

[Corkey]

In that case INSTEAD of coming in and starting a thread the OP should of taken this to the unknowing parent (custodial Mom), that would of made more sense since the concern is about a distraught child. I'm STILL confused why that was not the OP's FIRST step taken.

Totally agree with you.

[blush]

Hey, Okie,
Did you get the nephew's father's consent before you posted details about this situation on a public forum?

If not, I'm wondering why we're discussing an underage child's family's business?

[atomiczombie]

In that case INSTEAD of coming in and starting a thread the OP should of taken this to the unknowing parent (custodial Mom), that would of made more sense since the concern is about a distraught child. I'm STILL confused why that was not the OP's FIRST step taken.

It sounds to me like Okie is looking for some advice about what to do, before taking action.

My question is how would any of you handle this situation?

[Julie]

Hey, Okie,
Did you get the nephew's father's consent before you posted details about this situation on a public forum?

If not, I'm wondering why we're discussing an underage child's family's business?

And there you have it!

[Andrea]

I don't need to know anything more than the child is uncomfortable. Full stop. What the adults do is not my concern. The OP said the kid is uncomfortable around the adult behavior. The kids mom needs to know, what she does with the information is up to her as his custodial parent. If the kid needs more support from his family, he should by all means get it. When the kid reaches adulthood, he can decide for himself. Simple respect all the way around.

Have you ever known a pre-teen that is not uncomfortable with what adults, especially parents, do? (Okay, maybe there are a few.) Where do we draw the line at expecting the parent to change their life to make the child comfortable?

While drawing lines, where do we draw the line as to what is considered kink?

[The_Lady_Snow]

Hey, Okie,
Did you get the nephew's father's consent before you posted details about this situation on a public forum?

If not, I'm wondering why we're discussing an underage child's family's business?



DING DING DING!

Give the pretty lady a fox tail!

[WolfyOne]

Hey, Okie,
Did you get the nephew's father's consent before you posted details about this situation on a public forum?

If not, I'm wondering why we're discussing an underage child's family's business?


Blush,
I think sometimes people don't know how to deal with a situation and they ask for advise.
It's obvious that Okie didn't from the original post.
Why make him feel like he can't open up to all of us when in need?

Yes, perhaps Red should go to the father since it's her family and Okie is at a loss because he can't help her in the way he may want to. I think out of respect for Red, Okie has been holding his tongue at home.

[The_Lady_Snow]

You should go STRAIGHT to the unknowing parent (Mom) no ifs ands or buts, do not stop and make a post go to Childs unknowing parent and give her the information that she DOESN'T know yet all the internets does. It's a no brainer the Mom should have been contacted FIRST. PERIOD.

ETA-

At some point during the party an adult should if advocated for distraught child and set LIMITS at a family function and not ignore distraught Childs feelings. I wonder why this never happened.

[Corkey]

Have you ever known a pre-teen that is not uncomfortable with what adults, especially parents, do? (Okay, maybe there are a few.) Where do we draw the line at expecting the parent to change their life to make the child comfortable?

While drawing lines, where do we draw the line as to what is considered kink?


I draw the line at the child doesn't need to know what happens in my bedroom. Period. For pete sake they are the parent! My kink is different from Snow's, or Drew's or Julie's. We all know what kink means, we just have different ways of doing that which is kinky.
The word kink is definition in and of itself, we all know what it means, how we do it is the only difference.

[blush]

Blush,
I think sometimes people don't know how to deal with a situation and they ask for advise.
It's obvious that Okie didn't from the original post.
Why make him feel like he can't open up to all of us when in need?

Yes, perhaps Red should go to the father since it's her family and Okie is at a loss because he can't help her in the way he may want to. I think out of respect for Red, Okie has been holding his tongue at home.

Wolfy, I get that the OP is looking for advice. It wouldn't take much to severely compromise this child's privacy. Is discussing this child's situation on the world wide web appropriate to you? I'm sorry, but unless the parents have given consent, it's not to me.

[Andrea]

FFS people they ARE NOT wearing dead animals on their bodies, they buy expensive animal costumes of choice and wear them at events and Furrie Fetish is common in both heteronormative and queer culture and NOT necessarily tied to Leather/BDSM.

I can see I need to revisit my feelings about this subject. Thank you for giving me food for thought.

[AtLast]

I draw the line at the child doesn't need to know what happens in my bedroom. Period. For pete sake they are the parent! My kink is different from Snow's, or Drew's or Julie's. We all know what kink means, we just have different ways of doing that which is kinky.
The word kink is definition in and of itself, we all know what it means, how we do it is the only difference.

Even with an adult "child" my sexuality is private and so is his and his wife's. Boundaries are important- especially concerning children.

[Andrea]

I draw the line at the child doesn't need to know what happens in my bedroom. Period. For pete sake they are the parent! My kink is different from Snow's, or Drew's or Julie's. We all know what kink means, we just have different ways of doing that which is kinky.
The word kink is definition in and of itself, we all know what it means, how we do it is the only difference.

Did I miss the post that said the child was somehow aware of what goes on in the parent's bedroom?

[kannon]

I've never had kids but aren't most teenagers or preteens embarrassed of their parents, even when the parents are "normal".

Wearing a tail and a collar in public seems pretty innocuous compared to more serious problems kids face these days.

And, homosexuality, butch/femme, transgendered, is still considered abnormal and harmful to children by most Americans.

[WolfyOne]

I wish we knew about the parents to make an assumption...because that is what we are all doing.

Maybe we should wait for Okie to come back and post before we continue.
Under the assumption that the father is raising the child, maybe the mother has her own problems. Maybe that's why the mom hasn't been told yet.

And no Blush, it isn't ok, but none of us know Okie's or the child's real names. Heck, we don't even know where in OK this is taking place.

I hate to say it, but when we ASSUME
Ya'll know the rest of it

[WolfyOne]

On another note, maybe this thread should be moved to the Red Zone, so only members can view it.

[Corkey]

Did I miss the post that said the child was somehow aware of what goes on in the parent's bedroom?


With this I'm out because you are not going to draw the same conclusion I do. Have a nice day. I was speaking in the first person, myself FFS!

[Andrea]

With this I'm out because you are not going to draw the same conclusion I do. Have a nice day. I was speaking in the first person, myself FFS!

Corkey,

I am sorry I said something that offended you. Please do not leave the conversation because of something I said. I will not address you further so as not to offend.

Andrea

[Gemme]

I'm going to assume that most of you feel I'm fucking up my kids because I have slaves who when collared have a lock and chain proudlyaround their necks. I assure you my children have never been abused by my hand and are highly evolved caring human beings. They've also been around leather clad men and women and have Leather men as God parents.

The more healthy experiences a child has and the more different (and healthy!) situations/types/identities/etc a child is privvy to growing up leads to a more open-minded adult, I think. It sounds like you've planted some good seeds there.

I wish we knew about the parents to make an assumption...because that is what we are all doing.

Maybe we should wait for Okie to come back and post before we continue.
Under the assumption that the father is raising the child, maybe the mother has her own problems. Maybe that's why the mom hasn't been told yet.

And no Blush, it isn't ok, but none of us know Okie's or the child's real names. Heck, we don't even know where in OK this is taking place.

I hate to say it, but when we ASSUME
Ya'll know the rest of it

Perhaps the non-custodial parent (the father) has the boy for the summer vacation. Perhaps not.

Blush raised a good point with privacy issues, especially since some of these details are very easily recognized.

[AtLast]

Why the focus on whether this 12-year-old kid is gay or straight? What does that have to do with anything? This seems to be more a question of children, parents, and kinks.

Personally, I see a HUGE difference between being a kinky parent and being a queer parent. Queer parents can be as private as straight parents about their sexual/intimate lives. (It's really homophobes that over-focus on what queers do in bed, and sexualize queers all the time.)
Parents with kinks may be queer OR straight, (this particular couple sounds straight-identified), so the question really seems to be one of whether or not and how much to expose children to their parents sexual/erotic kinks.

I think of kink as erotic power-exchange, and that is not something I would choose to share with my child. Others may feel differently, but in my opinion this father is forcing his child to be a voyeur, and that violates boundaries of consent.


Yes, this exactly what is going on. And in this context is is abuse.
And the kid is uncomfortable, period. He needs an adult that understands the importance of boundaries to report the abuse.

This doesn't have a thing to do with what we all may or may not enjoy sexually- it is about forcing and underage person to do something against their will. It is abuse if done to an adult as well. Has nothing to do with making any value judgement on what adults might want to engage in as adults with consent.

[kannon]

Yes, this exactly what is going on. And in this context is is abuse.
And the kid is uncomfortable, period. He needs an adult that understands the importance of boundaries to report the abuse.

This doesn't have a thing to do with what we all may or may not enjoy sexually- it is about forcing and underage person to do something against their will. It is abuse if done to an adult as well. Has nothing to do with making any value judgement on what adults might want to engage in as adults with consent.

How are the dad and his girlfriend forcing the kid to do something against his will? Other than embarrassing him by going out in public while the girlfriend wears a tail and collar. I wouldn't consider that sexual abuse. Did I miss something?

[Dominique]

I'm going to have to start at the beginning...are we talking about the furries?

Every year they have their convention here in Pittsburgh. It was just two week ends ago.

It's no differeent than the Trekkies (people who dress and act in character
of the star trek people)

OK, off to read before I coment

[Ebon]

How is it abuse? How are they forcing the kid to do anything besides look at them wearing a tail, lock and key? Nobody knows the whole story. Everybody has their mind on the sexual situations that could happen between pops and his old lady when the OP did not once mention anything sexual, you people and your dirty minds.

Also since when do fucking queers or anyone else have the right to say what is right or wrong. You don't understand Furries because you don't know anything about it, just like some people don't know anything about queers so they call it wrong? Oh but then it hurts everyone's feelings.

So some people like to wear tails. I happen to have a friend that is a furry, wears a tail and it is NOT A BUTT PLUG! There is nothing kinky about it, she showed the other end of it to me. She just likes to dress like an animal. As much shit as we get, how can any queers condemn anything else that anybody does?

[Dominique]

I am not even going to waste any more of my time reading this thread. Furries harm no one.

As different as WE ALL ARE, how dare any of us throw stones.....shaking my head. If you don't know what a furrie is, do some damn research.

A fucking butt plug......

I'm with you Corkey OUT, and I was never in.

[Chancie]

My experience is that young people are often mortified by their parents.

I used to hate it when my mother sang in public, think Lotte Lenya!

My students hate it when I am standing in front of the board, and they say,

Move, Miss Chancie, and I dance a little before I move.

They blush and roll their eyes, and generally convey that

I am an embarrassing person all around. And

I think some young people are uncomfortable with evidence that their adults are sexual beings, but

Sexuality is a healthy part of life, and

I want young people to own their own bodies, and to be in touch with their own sexual feelings, and

I want them to see the adults in their lives modeling passionate love.

I don't 'get' furries, though I do 'get' butt plugs, but

Who gets to decide what is 'normal'?

[Heart]

Yes, this exactly what is going on. And in this context is is abuse.
And the kid is uncomfortable, period. He needs an adult that understands the importance of boundaries to report the abuse.

This doesn't have a thing to do with what we all may or may not enjoy sexually- it is about forcing and underage person to do something against their will. It is abuse if done to an adult as well. Has nothing to do with making any value judgement on what adults might want to engage in as adults with consent.

I did not call it abuse. Abuse is imminent danger. Discomfort and embarrassment is not imminent danger. Plus, calling child welfare authorities often exposes families to racist, sexist, classist, homophopbic systems that compound trauma, have no understanding of diversity in families, and do not have children's best interests at heart, but are mostly concerned with liability. I'm not personally comfortable with this parent's decisions and feel it violates boundaries, but that does not mean I am labeling it abusive.

[Miss Scarlett]

Personally, I don't think he should be given a warning. I'd just call the mom and tell her. If you wanted to see your nephew then I'd just call the mom and ask if you could see him, I'm sure she'd respect ya'll more for coming straight to her with the info and would allow ya'll to see him because she would know ya'll had his best interests at heart. No child should be subjected to their parents/caregivers kink and sexual fetishes, it is abusive at best. A child should not have their sexual identities shaped by their parents, this is something a child should explore and define for themselves just like we all did.

i agree with you if they have not already done so, they need to contact the mother and let her know what's going on.

No child should be exposed to their parents' sexual anything...it's creepy at 12 and still creepy at 51. Obviously this father and the g/f have some maturity issues if they cannot reel it in and keep things private. If g/f must wear her collar and tail in public...we all know there are smaller collars and locks and as for the tail, i am fairly certain there is a discreet way for wearing that in public as well...

[weatherboi]

i have a male straight friend that cross dresses. Him and his wife go out together. Their kids are around the same age as this kid and know all about daddy's fetish. Being a furry can and for some is a non sexual fetish just like cross dressing. It can be a form of expression that has no sexual impact but gives a person a chance to express themselves freely. I feel/think people opinions here need some fresh outlooks. I am off to go splish splash with the man cub as a transgendered slave which he knows and understands about because he is communicated with. Personally I think/feel the girlfriends transgendered status is as unimportant as the kids sexual orientation.

[Andrea]

i agree with you if they have not already done so, they need to contact the mother and let her know what's going on.

No child should be exposed to their parents' sexual anything...it's creepy at 12 and still creepy at 51. Obviously this father and the g/f have some maturity issues if they cannot reel it in and keep things private. If g/f must wear her collar and tail in public...we all know there are smaller collars and locks and as for the tail, i am fairly certain there is a discreet way for wearing that in public as well...

I still do not see where Okie has stated the child has been exposed to anything sexual. Where was that stated? Is it being assumed due to a belief that furrie = sexual and therefore the child must know what is going on?

[The_Lady_Snow]

I too see NOWHERE in the OP's words where the child exposed to anything sexual, tails and collars do not equate sex. I find it ridiculous that now the adults have to get smaller collars?? WTF, how about we not expose kids to individuals that are inked, or pierced gawwwwd knows that may equate sex (NOT)

I reread the original post and Okie seems more disturbed over

a. The tail

B. The huge lock

C. The furrie part

NONE of these descriptors indicate sexual relations are happening in front of the child.

So, can someone clarify where some people are coming to the conclusion that the child is being exposed to the parents "yiffing"? Cause I can't find it anywhere!

[atomiczombie]

Personally I think/feel the girlfriends transgendered status is as unimportant as the kids sexual orientation.

Couldn't agree more with this.

[Corkey]

Just to be clear, no where have I said the child is in any way privy to his dad's sexual proclivities. I spoke from MY POV that no child would be exposed to My sexual kink in My bedroom.
I also don't care what his father or his gf do in their home. However the OP said the kid is being "pushed to accept this" while with his father in public. That is coercion pure and simple.
As I've said before, I don't care what the adults do with other consenting adults, but this kid clearly is not a consenting adult. If the kid doesn't want to be around his fathers kink, he surely doesn't have to.

[girl_dee]

Snow... I don't compare your parenting to the OP parent at all. I got from reading the OP that the dad is very unconcerned about his son's feelings and has totally disregarded the fact that something is really, REALLY bothering his kid. (And in that scenario there could be many things bugging the kid!) There are so many *if's* about this situation, like where is the MOM? If she is present in his life she should be handling this if it needs to be.

I can't see you disregarding your kid's feelings. I also think we are on all different pages on whether or not the furrie's attire and ID are kink related or not. For some circles it's very normal.

Kids brought up around leather folk and introduced to it in a positive way (which most ARE) are one thing, and I SO think it can be done in a very healthy way (Snow is proof), but being introduced to it at 12 would take some patience and tolerance with letting the kid absorb all of it. (If that is what happened) Not taking the kid's feelings into account is unfair in any situation, NOT that the parent has to stop being an adult, just some compassion for being a 12 year old would be nice.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Maybe just maybe he isnt being "pushed" maybe just maybe this chile is being taught to learn how to be open minded. His father has a right to expose his child to different lifestyles with open communication at all times. I would hope he would at least because frankly there is NOTHING wrong With a child being taught to accept people regardless of how different or freakish others may see them. We dont really know since Dad is not here to give us his side or explain to us why he is choosing to expose said child to his relarionship choices.

[Corkey]

Where is the child's right? Kids these days are fairly knowledgeable about a whole host of sexual and kinky shit. I can only go from what the OP said that the kid is being pushed. Therefore he has the right not to have to be exposed if he doesn't want to.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Where is the child's right? Kids these days are fairly knowledgeable about a whole host of sexual and kinky shit. I can only go from what the OP said that the kid is being pushed. Therefore he has the right not to have to be exposed if he doesn't want to.



I gargantee that is getting more sexual esposare vía music, television, & video games than a lock & tail.

Justin Beiber per example, Twiglight, Hannah Montana girl, Teen Mom Toddlers & Tiaras.

[Chancie]

I have an extremely close friend who has one sister who is very religious.

This sister is very loving and generous to her niece and her nephew, but

She didn't attend their commitment ceremony and

I can easily imagine her saying something like,

They shouldn't force those children to accept their life choices.

[Chancie]

Where is the child's right? Kids these days are fairly knowledgeable about a whole host of sexual and kinky shit. I can only go from what the OP said that the kid is being pushed. Therefore he has the right not to have to be exposed if he doesn't want to.

I think it's hard to know exactly what is going on in someone else's family, but

For the sake of discussion, let's accept the accuracy of the details we were provided.

I completely agree with you.

This young person should be able to share his feelings with his father and

Communication about his needs should matter to his father.

[JustJo]

I don't know anyone who's a furry, and it doesn't appeal to me personally, but I don't have an issue with it. I also don't think that kids knowing that their parents are sexual beings is a bad thing.

What all of it comes down to, for me, is communication and a basic respect for the child's feelings.

To take it out of a sexual/furry/transgendered context...

When I was 11 and 12 years old, I played viola in the junior high orchestra. I was first chair. I practiced a lot, and worked hard. Periodically, we gave concerts that parents and the community were invited to.

All of the other parents would show up on time, showered, dressed, sit in the seats, applaud....all the "normal" concert behavior.

My mother would arrive late...generally in the middle of the performance...not because she couldn't help it/had to work, but because (as she would loudly announce to everyone within hearing range) she had been so caught up "at the barn." That probably didn't need to be explained....because she also smelled like the barn, and was still dressed in riding clothes....and would stomp loudly up the aisle, "pardon me, pardon me, pardon me" into the middle of a row, and then laugh and talk loudly (about herself) through the rest of the performance.

I was embarrassed on a regular basis...and used to wish that she either wouldn't come at all, or would simply be "like other people's parents." I got used to hearing the other parents talk about "that woman", but it never became something that I was okay with.

About midway through junior high, I told my orchestra teacher that I was quitting. He cared enough to ask why....and I explained to him my regular humiliation. Perhaps I should have been more self-confident...or not cared what other people thought...but I was already the child dressed out of the Salvation Army bin, the one using a school instrument, the one whose family got the charity basket from the PTA on the holidays, the one being teased and bullied.

My teacher cared enough to listen...and told me not to quit.

He also spoke privately to my mother.

I don't know what he said exactly. But I do know that for the rest of the years there, she either showed up on time and behaved herself....or she didn't come to the concert at all. Both things were an improvement for me.

I appreciate that he was the adult he was; that he recognized a child's discomfort and had the character to address it, because as a child I could not.

[Corkey]

I'm one of the no one should be forced to do anything that they don't want to do, it comes with that life liberty and the pursuit whole thing. Doesn't mean folks can't be who they are. I don't think this is necessarily about religion. 'Cause I'm not one of the flock as it were.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Exactly Jo, someone needs to speak to all parents especially the unknowing parent. My ex husband is aware of my choices I don't let him hear it via others or the internets. I hope the child is heard by allll adults involved, I hope the child is taught to be open minded and I hope Mom is made aware ASAP that her man cub is distraught.

[scootebaby]

Until and if Okie comes back to give more details all any of us are doing is speculating..reading the OP as "WE" see it. As so many others said...it comes down to communicating with your child. If that is happening with the father and child and the child is still having issues then i would suggest the father make time for just him and the child.

Kids are very resilient AND vey smart at a very young age. Hell the Prince knew something was different with me before we ever discussed it. I remember once going in a store(he was 5 i think),and he was talking to the cashier about something and she asked him why he said something and he pops off with "well thats what my moms girlfriend said. We talked after that. He never had a problem with it--except for a brief 2 minutes in 5th grade bc his friends mom found out i was gay,and suddenly wouldnt let her kid come around..within a week or so he came to me and said "Mom if they dont like u how u r then i dont need them"



so as its been said COMMUNICATION with children is key to everything!

[dixie]

*snip*

She identifies as a Transgendered Furry Slave!
And I identify as a queer femme princess. Just as you identify as whatever it is you identify as. What's the problem?

*snip*

The poor kid is in the middle of full blown puberty and is having a huge problem with all of this. The furry wears a tale in public and the slave collar with a huge lock. The brother wears the key to the lock around his neck. It's embarrassing poor Nick and he doesn't want to go anywhere with his dad and the furry in public.
Ya know, what a person *wears*, for any reason, shouldn't really be an issue. Yes, 12 year olds get embarrassed about A LOT of things their parents do. Trust me, as the mother of a 13 year old son, I know all about it. As for the collar, lock, key, tail...there are similar things worn by folks not even in a kink lifestyle. Are you familiar with metalheads/punk style/steampunk/etc etc? Are those "embarrassing" things to be as well, that should be tucked away? If so, well... Back in the day, sometimes even now, my means of dress have not always been of the societal norm. Back in the day, my son would roll his eyes, get embarrassed, and give me all those *sighs* when going along somewhere with me because of how I was dressed, i.e. camo cargos, some weird-ish top, big black boots, my wallet with the heavy chain that hung to my knee, my thick spiked collar, wide (sometimes spiked) leather bracelets that went halfway up my forearms, and purple or blue streaked hair. He rolled his eyes at my straight male buddy who used to wear a red kilt, combat boots, and yes, a FOX TAIL (for no kink reason at all, just because he thought it looked cool).

I do not want to offend anyone but seriously, why should a child be forced to deal with this.
So far, it seems this child is only dealing with the adults mode of dress, so to speak. Like I said, my son has been embarrassed by how I dress. Just like I used to be absolutely mortified by my mother who wore green camo overalls with bright red lipstick and bright blue eyeshadow. Yes, sucked like crazy, just as I'm sure it sucked like crazy for my child. Luckily, my child and I have a very open line of communication, so that now we both analyze each other's style and tone it down a lil if either is embarrassing to the other. Yes, my child has embarrassing style on his own sometimes as well, which I NURTURED and ALLOWED despite what others thought. If wearing athletic pants tucked into his cowboy boots with a button-up Hawaiian shirt and baseball cap backwards made him more comfortable and allowed him a lil freedom to be himself, then it was worth any embarrassment I may have felt.

Eventhough at 12 or 13 years old they are still a child, they are also reaching that age where they are more capable of accepting and understanding, (despite being in the awkward age/stage), when treated with such from the adults in their lives. "Deal with it" is all good in theory but as most parents will tell you, it doesn't get you very far with your child compared to how far you get when you sit down and have an actual conversation with the child.



My point IS...so far, nothing really has been addressed other than that this child has issue with the way the adults LOOK in public. It would be a COMPLETELY different story if the adults were exposing this child to BEHAVIORS that the child should not be exposed to, but I haven't seen that mentioned anywhere in this post. As for behaviors, I mean any kind of sexual act, kink or otherwise. Kissing, holding hands, etc is NOT what I'm referring to. For ME PERSONALLY, I don't think children should be exposed to overt sexual behavior from folks, no matter if the folks are gay/straight/vanilla/kinky/etc. There shouldn't be any yiffing or dry humping or anything of that sort in front of a child. (Also, why my 13 year old still isn't allowed to watch some movies or play some video games. It's all about the level of exposure that we wish our child to have, whether sexually/verbally/graphic violence/etc.) No, I'm not saying that a child should be kept in the dark about sex and sexuality. There's a big difference between educating and being honest with the child, and exposing the child to overt sexual behavior between adults. That's a line that I draw in my personal life especially. My son will have his own experiences, he will learn things on his own from experience, listening to his buddies, etc. All I can do is educate him and be there for him with honest answers when he has questions, concerns, etc. THIS SITUATION doesn't seem to be any of this. It seems to be nothing more than the child, OP, and OP's partner being uncomfortable with the way a person looks and/or identifies. Personally, I don't get it. I do, however, agree that the child's feelings should be taken into consideration and validated, as well as addressed by BOTH parents.

I'm not even gonna spend much time on the fainting spells, cause, well...I'd probably have just left her laying there and went on about my business. Sounds like drama/attention-getting behavior, but that is normal in some folks whether they are a transgendered furry slave or the lil housewife next door. *shrug*

[tapu]

Kinda wish I hadn't read this thread....


Okay, I have an opinion. I think it will be unpopular. Nonetheless, I can tell you right now that there's nothing that could sway me.


There is something wrong with this father that he thinks it is okay to include his child publicly in something overtly sexual to those in the know about such things, and something overtly whacked to those others.

I'm a closet nudist. But do I walk around in front of Asa and his little friends with next to nothing on. No.

Here's why: I respect my child. That guy doesn't respect his child, or he has something else wrong with him along the lines of not knowing what is and isn't respecting a child.


p.s. When someone says "at least it's not drunk driving," or whatever, is that an argument that anything short of drunk driving is fine? Because it's like arguing, well, maybe one partner beat the other up but they didn't kill 'em. I don't think we have to be satisfied with stemming only the worst.

[Andrea]

Kinda wish I hadn't read this thread....


Okay, I have an opinion. I think it will be unpopular. Nonetheless, I can tell you right now that there's nothing that could sway me.


There is something wrong with this father that he thinks it is okay to include his child publicly in something overtly sexual to those in the know about such things, and something overtly whacked to those others.

I'm a closet nudist. But do I walk around in front of Asa and his little friends with next to nothing on. No.

Here's why: I respect my child. That guy doesn't respect his child, or he has something else wrong with him along the lines of not knowing what is and isn't respecting a child.


p.s. When someone says "at least it's not drunk driving," or whatever, is that an argument that anything short of drunk driving is fine? Because it's like arguing, well, maybe one partner beat the other up but they didn't kill 'em. I don't think we have to be satisfied with stemming only the worst.

Because I have limited knowledge regarding furries, I have been doing some reading and found that it is not always about sex. If what the child is experiencing is not sexual in nature, what would your objection be?

[AtLast]

To me, this has very little to do with anyone's personal ID and everything to do with what is appropriate, or rather inappropriate in this case, behavior to display in front of a 12 year old.

It's one thing for a person to say that they are staying true to their personal ID and proudly displaying that for the world to see but something completely different when that ID impacts a child. It takes it to yet another completely different level when the people involved are actually raising the child and not just walking past them on the street.

Claiming that a 12 year old is just going to have to deal with it, is so beyond wrong that I really don't even have words for it.

Although, I'd be happy to go for hours about the long term affects of the "dealing" options.

Well said!

Some refs for folks- take your pick- concerning if this has a kink/fetish sexual theme in terms of exposure to a minor and appropriate boundaries with kids and adults.

http://www.bing.com/search?q=furry+transgender+slave&src=IE-SearchBox&FORM=IE8SRC

[tapu]

Because I have limited knowledge regarding furries, I have been doing some reading and found that it is not always about sex. If what the child is experiencing is not sexual in nature, what would your objection be?

That the level at which the kid would be embarrassed--really, even mortified doesn't capture it--trumps all.

When my son is embarrassed to have me come walk home with him instead of picking him up in the car after school, I say, Okay.

What the fuck does it hurt me?

[tapu]

My experience is that young people are often mortified by their parents.

I used to hate it when my mother sang in public, think Lotte Lenya!

My students hate it when I am standing in front of the board, and they say,

Move, Miss Chancie, and I dance a little before I move.

They blush and roll their eyes, and generally convey that

I am an embarrassing person all around. And

I think some young people are uncomfortable with evidence that their adults are sexual beings, but

Sexuality is a healthy part of life, and

I want young people to own their own bodies, and to be in touch with their own sexual feelings, and

I want them to see the adults in their lives modeling passionate love.

I don't 'get' furries, though I do 'get' butt plugs, but

Who gets to decide what is 'normal'?




Who gets to decide what is normal?? Are you saying no one does? We are lucky that there are some wide parameters that as a culture we basically agree on.

Regardless of whether you think the cultural poll for this one would put it squarely in the acceptable rating, they are imposing on this kid something they know is painful for him and something that as adults, they can probably survive putting aside, for the child whose nurturing they are responsible for.

[Kenna]

Ok! I have to admit I had never heard of this identity until my brother-in-law brought his girlfriend over and introduced her to us. She identifies as a Transgendered Furry Slave!

I'll cut to the chase and just say it. It's bugging the living hell out of Red and myself. Not because her brother is into this but because he is pushing his 12 year old son to accept this without any questions. The poor kid is in the middle of full blown puberty and is having a huge problem with all of this. The furry wears a tale in public and the slave collar with a huge lock. The brother wears the key to the lock around his neck. It's embarrassing poor Nick and he doesn't want to go anywhere with his dad and the furry in public.

I do not want to offend anyone but seriously, why should a child be forced to deal with this. Our hands are tied and Red is seriously upset and I haven't a clue what to do.

The furry also has drama issues that are way beyond my tolerance zone! She claims to suffer from major fainting spells due to an head injury as a child, which I won't question the truth of this matter, however her fainting spell in the middle of our party last night was more than overboard for me. It was at best the worst rendition of a silent movie faint I have ever seen, oh but the lit cigarette never left her hand. The brother ran to her rescue brought her inside and well the rest is just more BS.

My question is how would any of you handle this situation?

When I first opened this thread and started to read... I got the chills, got sick to my stomach and had a rush of very bad memories and feelings.
I speak of one large, particular group of Furries and their "ring leader" when I state the following:
I personally have FAR TOO MUCH experience with a particular group of Furries that used their Furry Porn -written erotica and Furry cartoon characters or Anime characters - to target children and teens. This particular group of Furries would use their porn to entice these young kids and "bring them into their circle"...
This is so painful for me to write about, that I can hardly compose my words.
I believe *anyone's* kink should NEVER include children and children should NEVER be exposed to the kinds of things my son was exposed to at age 15 by this particular group of Furries that consider their behavior acceptable...NO CHILD should ever be forced or told they must accept kink behavior that makes them clearly uncomfortable... I was told MANY times by the "Head Furry" (after my son turned 18) that I was to accept their behavior/their kink/their ways or he would make sure I would never see my son again. I can't express how awful as AN ADULT this made me feel!! After being exposed to the "inner workings" of this particular Furry group... I believe with my heart and soul that their porn is specifically designed to target children.

My son was targeted by this "Head Furry" and their group when he was 15. I was NOT aware of it until he turned 18 and moved in with the "Head Furry" as his slave. After he was 18, there was not much I could do to stop things.... so I made a visit several times to their home.... where I would see the Furry porn posted all over the house where the "Head Furry's" grandchildren were playing! It shocked me, it upset me... it pissed me off that I felt so helpless to do anything to protect any child from that influence.... And it pissed me off that this Furry group would promote their unprotected group sex activities and general unprotected sex as acceptable behavior to children and teens....including non-consensual teens that they were hoping to "wrap into" their group and eventually get them to consent.

I AM NOT passing judgment on any other Furry or any other group or kink... My experience is with one group of Furries, especially their Head Furry, that destroyed my son's life, preyed on him, used him as a target, passed him around as a "toy" at their Furry Conventions, tossed him away as soon as he turned "too old", and ruined my relationship with my son and made my life a living hell for many years. They preyed on him by initially using the Tail (at first telling him it was connected to a tradition of The Renaissance Fair) and their written erotica depicting Anime animal characters as the lead voices. It is VERY disturbing to me that ANY group or ANY individual would use these tactics to initiate children and entice them into accepting certain behaviors or lifestyles.

I can't write the full story here... as this is not about me or my family's trauma at the hands of a Furry Group or pedophile predator.... But I can say: When I see someone wearing "The Tail"... I know there is more going on behind the scenes that can be very harmful to our younger generations... and I can CERTAINLY ATTEST to the damaging affects of such targeting, negative, forced-to-accept behavior.

I will never, ever dismiss ANYONE for reaching out for support when it comes to their fears of possible harm coming to children.

Snow, you once supported me when I announced how my son was a victim of a predator. I see the OP as asking this Community for advice and support.

[AtLast]

I did not call it abuse. Abuse is imminent danger. Discomfort and embarrassment is not imminent danger. Plus, calling child welfare authorities often exposes families to racist, sexist, classist, homophopbic systems that compound trauma, have no understanding of diversity in families, and do not have children's best interests at heart, but are mostly concerned with liability. I'm not personally comfortable with this parent's decisions and feel it violates boundaries, but that does not mean I am labeling it abusive.

OK, I can see this- and I do know about social services and how these systems are as you state at times. No, it isn't imminent danger- but it crosses boundaries and I would be very concerned with this kid's discomfort.- especially if this is the transgender furry phenomenon that includes butt plugs. Given the possible kinds of exposure he could be subjected to (not saying he is right now), it could turn into legally defined child abuse.

This just isn't a matter of how kids can get all goofy about their parents being sexual beings. And the kid will have plenty of time to discover and explore all dimensions (including various sex toys) of sexuality as he grows up.

To be honest, I would want to know about this as a parent and talk with my ex about it. Even when we are separated or divorced and share custody, it is really important to share child rearing practices in a consistant manner- for the kid. I honestly don't give a hooray for his father's desires here. Adults have the space to do what we want and not involve our kids. Especially at ages that are just difficult with development in ordinary circumstances.

[The_Lady_Snow]

How about you not single me out or refer to me as Snowy, as I STATED nothing sexual about a fucking collar or a tail and FFS the mom should of been told first PERIOD.

[Kenna]

Who gets to decide what is normal?? Are you saying no one does? We are lucky that there are some wide parameters that as a culture we basically agree on.

Regardless of whether you think the cultural poll for this one would put it squarely in the acceptable rating, they are imposing on this kid something they know is painful for him and something that as adults, they can probably survive putting aside, for the child whose nurturing they are responsible for.


How very well stated!! Hit the nail on the head moment here.
Nurturing -vs- forced acceptance ...there's real parenting skills involved when nurturing wins

[Andrea]

That the level at which the kid would be embarrassed--really, even mortified doesn't capture it--trumps all.

When my son is embarrassed to have me come walk home with him instead of picking him up in the car after school, I say, Okay.

What the fuck does it hurt me?

I respectfully disagree that a child's embarrassment should be the defining factor in a parent's decision making. I agree that a child's embarrassment should be considered and discussed but not be the defining factor.

[tapu]

Furry = fetish

Think of some fetishes you know about. Can you think of many--any--that you find appropriate to exhibit to and discuss with a 12 year old? Do you think it would be appropriate to share it with his peers, maybe do it up special for the school play so teachers and everybody know where his/her parents are coming from in that area?

Just because we so diligently accept people because we know what it's like not to be accepted for normal, appropriate behavior in public, we don't have to act like we accept everything. It's disingenuous anyway. If you must have a line drawn before you can be comfortable, then let's draw it at fetishes. fetishes are inherently and exclusively sexual. Homosexuality is not. It's a complex part of human behavior that goes beyond the sexual.

Am I getting anywhere??

[tapu]

I respectfully disagree that a child's embarrassment should be the defining factor in a parent's decision making. I agree that a child's embarrassment should be considered and discussed but not be the defining factor.

What I am saying is more nuanced than that, but I'm afraid that I haven't the slightest idea how to better impart it.

[weatherboi]

there is way too much assuming going on in this thread. children aren't allowed at furry conventions. kink is not always sexual. it sounds like somebody is trying to equate pedophilia with furry and that is just not right. holy mother of the cow people can we at least try and not allow our personal hardships interfere with the topic itself.

[Kenna]

How about you not single me out or refer to me as Snowy, as I STATED nothing sexual about a fucking collar or a tail and FFS the mom should of been told first PERIOD.

When you supported me, I appreciated it. That's why I mentioned it.
I believe the OP maybe didn't know how to approach the mother ... or maybe there's a barrier to the mother that we don't know about and this is why the OP was asking *us* for support, advice and acceptance of their concern.

I, speaking from explicit, direct experience, can say that the Tail and the Collar is used by the Furries in the group I spoke of as a direct link and direct public display of their kink and their sexual preferences. The Tail and the Porn has been used as a direct link to enticing children. I know this because my son fell prey to it.

[tapu]

Believe me, I'm the last person to condemn a fetish. Ha, I laugh at other people's fetishes. I couldn't even tell you mine!

Safe fetishes are fine besides, even if they weren't, what could the fetishist do about it? (Don't go there.)

Furries are fine by me. They can eat at my table, sleep in the extra room, hell, they could probably get sick in the back of my car, I wouldn't even be mad.

But if they want to go to my son's dance performance with us, they're going to have to chill. Just like I wouldn't go there doing.... er, never mind.

[Kenna]

there is way too much assuming going on in this thread. children aren't allowed at furry conventions. kink is not always sexual. it sounds like somebody is trying to equate pedophilia with furry and that is just not right. holy mother of the cow people can we at least try and not allow our personal hardships interfere with the topic itself.

I agree with part of this.... another part I do not.
I have first hand experience, that led me to reporting the event to the appropriate authorities, that teens between the ages of 16-18 were allowed at an East Coast Furry Convention. I have first hand knowledge of one 17 year old that was passed around as a toy within said convention and with this particular Furry group. I am not equating pedophilia with Furry when I made the statements about the Furry Porn targeting children. It's a fact... not an equation.

I completely support the OP and the OP's plea for support and advice.

[weatherboi]

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/46718000/jpg/_46718088_amarok.226.jpg

Who are the furries?

Lenya looks adorable, with lots of glossy white fur, black paws, a shiny pink nose and cute little pointed ears.

But Lenya is also a 48-year-old computer network administrator called Marshall Woods, who likes motor racing, visiting museums and reading crime novels in his spare time.

Mr Woods is what is known as a furry and Lenya is a "fursona" he has created, which he described as a "sort of space weasel". As part of getting into character he wears a handmade, full-size fursuit.

Furry Fandom, furrydom, furdom - it's called many things - has momentarily found itself in the spotlight in the UK, due to a court case where the two defendants met on a furry website.

It is a largely unknown scene and participants have been happy to keep it that way, feeling they are often misunderstood. So what is a furry?

No standard definition exists but generally furries are people who have a fascination with anthropomorphic animals. These are animals that are given human traits, like walking and talking. They can be anything from cartoons characters like Bugs Bunny to computer game personalities like Pokemon.

The scene has its own art, animation, comic books and literature, but activities are largely conducted online - where furries adopt "fursonas" for role playing.

But for some it is about meeting other furries in person. Groups around the world meet regularly and there are conventions in the US, UK, Germany, Mexico, France, Russia and Brazil.

Petting and scratching
Furries say the scene is about creativity, freedom and community; being who you want to be among like-minded people.

"You get to choose what and who you are. Imagination is OK, no matter what your age," says Mark Merlino, a founding member of the furry culture in the US and known as Sylys Sable on the scene.

But, inevitably perhaps, there's a sexual element too. In a recent court case in the UK, two men who met on a furry website, and shared sexual role-playing fantasies, were convicted of plotting to kill one of the pair's adoptive parents. Christopher Monks, from Lancashire, and Shaun Skarnes, from Cheshire, were found guilty of meticulously preparing the killings via the internet. They are currently awaiting sentence.

Furries will not thank the pair for casting their hobby in a negative light, and tend to argue the sexual side is hugely overplayed.

"I think the problem is that sex sells," says Ian Wolf (his furry pseudonym), who is editor of the British furry news website, FurteanTimes.com. "It is not surprising that less scrupulous journalists like to print stories about people having sex dressed as foxes."

Some furries assume animal traits - known as zoomorphism - and indentify strongly with certain species. This can range from adopting an online persona to wearing a tail or full-sized fur suits like Mr Woods.

Exhilarating

"Fursuiters", as they are called, bemoan society's inhibitions and look admiring at the animal kingdom where creatures have more freedom to be expressive. Touching, petting, hugging and "skritching" (lightly scratching and grooming) is common at social gatherings. And most do not remove their costumes in public areas, to prevent breaking the illusion.

"There's a magic moment when you put a costume on and see yourself in the mirror," says Mr Woods. "It's simultaneously disorienting and exhilarating. You actually do feel that you've changed for just a moment."

Anthrozoologist, Kathy Gerbasi, who studies human-animal interactions and furries, has witnessed furry interaction first-hand.

"People say that being in a fur suit allows you to do things you might not otherwise do, like dance in public, clown around, give people a hug," she says.

She argues furries are just taking something that most of us do a few steps further.

"I think most humans grow up interested in animals. We grow up with teddy bears, pets, Mickey Mouse, etc. Animals surround us in advertisements, nature, stories and fables.

"Humans tend to anthropomorphise as a way of understanding and interpreting the world around us. Furries just take this interest a bit further than most people."

ut a small minority take it further still - believing they are animals trapped in human bodies, or consider themselves to be part animal. A study by Ms Gerbasi at one furry convention found about a quarter of the participants did not consider themselves 100% human.

She is currently researching this in relation to gender identity disorder, when people feel they are the wrong sex and trapped in the wrong body. She says currently unpublished data supports the hypothesis that there are similarities. She is calling it species identity disorder.

'Mystified'

Feeling you are part-animal is unusual, she admits, although "for most, the furry fandom is a hobby and like Star Trek fans or such".

Of course, there's nothing new about people donning animal costumes for a spot of fun. But Furryism, as a pursuit in its own right, grew out of science fiction and comic book conventions in the 1980s, says furry historian Fred Patten.

Small room parties were held at such events in the UK and US for fans of animated cartoons with animal characters.

But it really came of age with the internet in the 1990s and today is an internet community first and foremost, says Mr Merlino.

Conventions are held around the world and some have attracted have up to 3,000 furries. In the UK the scene is very active, says Mr Wolf. There are locals groups and two annual conventions, in London and Manchester, with another planned for Inverness.

For a long time it was a male-dominated scene, but many more women are now involved.

"There are still way more male furries than female ones, but the number of girls is growing slowly," says furry artist TaniDaReal (her furry pseudonym), a 29-year-old media designer from Germany.

Mystified'

"On art galleries, I'd say the gender ratio is pretty balanced. A lot of the furry artists are female."

Very little research has been done on the furry world. This is probably because many behavioural scientists are not really aware of their existence, says Ms Gerbasi.

When I presented an interactive session at an identity conference in 2007 people were mystified," she says. "If you tell people about furries they often think you are kidding or making it up. Also, due to bad publicity, furries have not been cooperative about being studied."

Furries argue it is the persistent misconceptions about them that keeps the scene private.

"The big misconception is that most furries are mainly obsessed with sex," says Mr Wolf. "While there is pornography in the fandom - 'yiff' as it is known - it is only a small part."

So what do they say when someone thinks being a furry is weird?

"I would say that we are just free thinkers who let our minds expand to create these weird and wonderful characters," says Mr Wolf.


http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/46718000/jpg/_46718086_tail.226.jpg

(note his tail is NOT a butt plug)



>link< (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8355287.stm)

[Kenna]

Lovely cut and paste. :hangloose: and a neat, very descriptive article.

But it does not dismiss my experience or my son's experience with The Furries.

[Kenna]

I made a difference to at least two individuals here.... that's all that matters to me.
Life is a beautiful thing... we learn, we heal (sometimes) and we move on. We find those that support us and those that don't. That's acceptable to me. One can't always have 100% go their way all the time. To me, it's a beautiful thing when one of Our Members comes forward asking for support and advice on something that obviously upsets them.

[tapu]

Sweet, I'm taking this in, but I think there is a point to be made that someone who has had experiences with homosexual pedophilia could come into a gay male thread about raising children and go on about how their own negative experience could not be denied to the degree that you are.

I support your efforts to warn the OP about relevant details you have knowledge of. I think you've established that there are sinister elements in the Furry culture, as there are in any segment of society deemed "alternative" or not.

[Thinker]

This is obviously a sensitive topic for some of our members. Be respectful in your exchanges even when it's obvious you are on different sides of the discussion.

We are starting to receive notes of concern about where this thread is going and the manner in which some of you are posting; we are asking you all to get back on track: the OP asked for help.

Thinker (moderator)

[Kenna]

Sweet, I'm taking this in, but I think there is a point to be made that someone who has had experiences with homosexual pedophilia could come into a gay male thread about raising children and go on about how their own negative experience could not be denied to the degree that you are.

I support your efforts to warn the OP about relevant details you have knowledge of. I think you've established that there are sinister elements in the Furry culture, as there are in any segment of society deemed "alternative" or not.

Thank you kindly. You do make a good point. I did not at all intend to make it about "experiences with homosexual pedophilia". That has never actually crossed my mind or been a "blame" I placed for these past many years. And I wasn't aware that I was coming into a gay male thread because it was posted under Gender And Identity, Other Sexualities and Identities. Thank you for giving me a new perspective. Maybe next time I won't be so apt to post out of frustration about harm to children. Your support is much appreciated. If I hadn't been so frustrated or suffering from some remaining PTSD about things, I would have expressed what you did so eloquently in the highlighted statement above.

[kannon]

http://youtu.be/oXcWGbRUnok

look for the hidden subliminal Phallic messages.

[T D]

http://youtu.be/oXcWGbRUnok

look for the hidden subliminal Phallic messages.

Bad Bunny!!

[AtLast]

No matter the definitions of furry fetishes or role-play- and this does cover sexual activity in some cases. The point is that a 12 year old kid is saying he is uncomfortable with this exposure and his custodial parent is unaware of this situation. It also isn't about parents changing their behavior based upon this kid's feelings. This is about a kid feeling "forced" to be involved in a parent's fetish in terms of a public display. There doesn't need to be any sexual component at all involved.

It seems to me that both parents need to deal with this in a communicative manner with their child. They also need to educate themselves about the developmental stage he is in and also what (if any) negative effects forcing a kid to be involved in events and activities surrounding this fetish. This has no bearing on the father's continuing to act out his fetish desires- just without the kid being present.

I do find it odd that in a situation where parents are sharing custody that the father here would plan activities around this part of his life while spending time with his kid. Anyone that has had this experience knows how tough it is to spend time with your kid and usually one focuses on alone time with their kids in these situations. Something is off with this picture beyond this particular insistence on this kid being coerced in this one situation.

The bottom line is that his mother needs to be involved with what is going on here and these parents need to work out boundaries around this that attend to their son's feelings. Anything that could in anyway have a sexual meaning to a 12 year old or involve power dynamics that are between consenting adults could very well be felt by a 12 year old in ways adults can't imagine (or accurately remember). I would want to know exactly what it is that causes the discomfort and how he is viewing it from his pre-teen perspective. The hell with the adult perspectives- he isn't an adult. His perceptions of collars for example can be very different that adults with knowledge about the full range of sexual expression and non-explicit sexual expression that is related to adult relationship dynamics. This isn’t a cut and dried situation at all.

[Chancie]

<snip>

Just because we so diligently accept people because we know what it's like not to be accepted for normal, appropriate behavior in public, we don't have to act like we accept everything. It's disingenuous anyway. If you must have a line drawn before you can be comfortable, then let's draw it at fetishes. fetishes are inherently and exclusively sexual.

<snip>



You are assuming a lot in the first line of the exerpt I quoted.

I don't know who you mean by 'we', but please don't include me or tell me what I think.

Surely you can see that this is a more complex conversation than, This is a fetish; this is not.

[tapu]

You are assuming a lot in the first line of the exerpt I quoted.

I don't know who you mean by 'we', but please don't include me or tell me what I think.

Surely you can see that this is a more complex conversation than, This is a fetish; this is not.

Okay, show me. I drew a concrete line that I think is reasonable: sexuality at the level of fetishes is not appropriate for 12yo's. I welcome any cooperative attempt to present me with an alternative to consider.

[apretty]

I don't hate the furries--I don't think they're 'ew' or gross--To me, I find it mildly amusing that someone wraps themselves in a furry fabric as any part of their identity.

I do however, think that you should keep your tail, butt plug or otherwise, and the rest of your accoutrement confined to your personal social circle. I, personally, (in an ideal world) want to be asked before I participate in your dynamic and I'd think that goes doubly for any 12 year-old.

In addition, there's a huge, obvious difference between being queer and pretty average by society's standards and being a "slave" in a fur costume.

*I am left curious as to why the furry only wears a tail--if she's completely committed to her fur-identity, how does such a small accessory suffice?

[Thinker]

This is obviously a sensitive topic for some of our members. Be respectful in your exchanges even when it's obvious you are on different sides of the discussion.

We are starting to receive notes of concern about where this thread is going and the manner in which some of you are posting; we are asking you all to get back on track: the OP asked for help.

Thinker (moderator)

I was asked to clarify what I meant in this post. I'm not inclined to cite specific examples until that is absolutely necessary. The direct message from the mod/admin team is just this: Be respectful in your exchanges with other members.

It is obvious that we are going to see opposing points of views regardless of the topic being discussed. It is obvious, too, that members have history. Our personal experiences (both here and outside of this community) play into how and what we post.

We (mod/admin) are looking to have a place at the table for ALL where differences are celebrated rather than criticized.

And, no, this isn't "Pollyanna bullsh*t". It's actually possible. And it's not just in this thread; it's discussions everywhere, even outside of the forums here at bfp.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I don't hate the furries--I don't think they're 'ew' or gross--To me, I find it mildly amusing that someone wraps themselves in a furry fabric as any part of their identity.

I do however, think that you should keep your tail, butt plug or otherwise, and the rest of your accoutrement confined to your personal social circle. I, personally, (in an ideal world) want to be asked before I participate in your dynamic and I'd think that goes doubly for any 12 year-old.

In addition, there's a huge, obvious difference between being queer and pretty average by society's standards and being a "slave" in a fur costume.

*I am left curious as to why the furry only wears a tail--if she's completely committed to her fur-identity, how does such a small accessory suffice?


The furry tail is like flagging in the Leather world. At least that's what I was told.

[Mister Bent]

I don't hate the furries--I don't think they're 'ew' or gross--To me, I find it mildly amusing that someone wraps themselves in a furry fabric as any part of their identity.

I do however, think that you should keep your tail, butt plug or otherwise, and the rest of your accoutrement confined to your personal social circle. I, personally, (in an ideal world) want to be asked before I participate in your dynamic and I'd think that goes doubly for any 12 year-old.

In addition, there's a huge, obvious difference between being queer and pretty average by society's standards and being a "slave" in a fur costume.

*I am left curious as to why the furry only wears a tail--if she's completely committed to her fur-identity, how does such a small accessory suffice?

This post most succinctly sums up my thoughts on this issue, as both a human being and the parent of a 12 year old boy, who is the child of a queer parent (duh). I did ask my son what his thoughts were, and I can say that this post also pretty much sums up his response.

The bottom line, for me, is that children need to be introduced to "alternative" concepts - whether they be religious, sexual, or food choices - in a sensitive and thoughtful manner. Expecting them simply "to deal" is shitty parenting. Hell, it's shitty human being.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I hope that after all this sound advice Okie & Red have a sit down with the parents and advocate for the distraught child, and that Mom sets some heavy boundaries on how when it comes to her man cub NO ONE is to keep ANYTHING from her, ever again!

[Okiebug61]

The poor kid is embarrassed like any normal 12 year old would be and the lady sounds like a drama queen but I don't understand how her wearing a tail is damaging him. The lady herself sounds ridiculous and hilarious but I mean have you ever seen them doing anything inappropriate in front of the kid besides being a transsexual furry? Wearing a lock and key, how is that damaging to him do they make him wear it? Being 12 is rough and having an odd parent is even more rough but I'm sure if the furry lady wasn't so outlandish and just kind of "normal" and up to everyone's standards would it be ok then? I don't know the full story just going on what I know.

I respect your opinion but this is Oklahoma and kids are pointing at them in public "rednecks" are making comments and poor Nick is having to set there and take it cause his father thinks it's best for him.

I don't think anyone is normal! I don't subscribe to normal. I don't agree with normal! I do though think responsibility is the key question here. Red and I have different opinions about a lot of things and we respect those opinions. That is where I am upset. Nick's opinion should be respected and he is totally freaked out about being subjected to the public ridicule.

Peace!

[Okiebug61]

I truly believe there are many people who think being gay is a sexual kink. In addition, I am not in the position to determine that this situation is one of sexual kink. It could well be sexual kink but is the child being exposed to sex or is the child only being exposed to someone wearing fur? Should parents into leather or BDSM not wear anything that indicates their kink when spending time with children?

I am not trying to argue. I find this situation icky too. I just don't believe it is that harmful to the child.

Andrea

Andrea,

Thanks for you input! I'll defer to totally disagree with you.

[Okiebug61]

Is the child being educated that current partner is transgendered? I feel THAT in itself is a topic they should be discussing, the slave tail part would be the least of my worries.

Nick learned that his fathers furry slave was really a man from my nephew who is also 12 and figured it out the first time he met her.

She calls Nicks dad master in front of him and makes him wait hand and foot on Nicks dad when Nick is present with out any explanation. The only place he is not allowed to present this type of behavior is in our home. I personally do not like that imagine being burned into Nicks mind.

[Okiebug61]

Dear Community,

My sole purpose for this post was to ask for help with our nephew. I have know further comment other than thank you for those of you who truly understood my concerns for Nick! Thank you for all of your opinions but this has turned into way more than I ever expected. It was all about a little 12 year old boy named Nick and nothing else.

Peace!

[The_Lady_Snow]

Nick learned that his fathers furry slave was really a man from my nephew who is also 12 and figured it out the first time he met her.

She calls Nicks dad master in front of him and makes him wait hand and foot on Nicks dad when Nick is present with out any explanation. The only place he is not allowed to present this type of behavior is in our home. I personally do not like that imagine being burned into Nicks mind.



First of all The furrie is a WOMAN not a man, i hope that was explained to all The children, can we have some sensitivity for The MTF members of our community, and have you or Red taken The time and let unknown parent know said child is distraught?

[Andrea]

Dear Community,

My sole purpose for this post was to ask for help with our nephew. I have know further comment other than thank you for those of you who truly understood my concerns for Nick! Thank you for all of your opinions but this has turned into way more than I ever expected. It was all about a little 12 year old boy named Nick and nothing else.

Peace!

I hope that whatever you decide to do or not do works out the best way possible for the child and that you are able to find healthy answers for yourself as well.

[Dreamer]

I am now curious as to the relationship between the child and his mother. Obviously the child does not feel he can discuss it with the mother or she would be well aware of what is going on in his life, which makes me question their relationship. Also red and Okie I have to ask do you hide your sexuality because it is such a red neck town*. I am just curious because so many things are bringing questions up in my mind.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Dear Community,

My sole purpose for this post was to ask for help with our nephew. I have know further comment other than thank you for those of you who truly understood my concerns for Nick! Thank you for all of your opinions but this has turned into way more than I ever expected. It was all about a little 12 year old boy named Nick and nothing else.

Peace!



It sounds like all children need to educated on transgendered peoples, open communications with all parents and I hope distraught child is heard, unknowing parent told and Dad sat down for a heart to heart regarding distraught Childs feelings

[Okiebug61]

I am now curious as to the relationship between the child and his mother. Obviously the child does not feel he can discuss it with the mother or she would be well aware of what is going on in his life, which makes me question their relationship. Also red and Okie I have to ask do you hide your sexuality because it is such a red neck town*. I am just curious because so many things are bringing questions up in my mind.

Red and I don't even know what it is like to come out of because we have never been in.

I truly respect everyone's thoughts and opinions but I have to say I am way overwhelmed with the many responses that have nothing to do with how we help our nephew!

Peace!

[The_Lady_Snow]

I believe many people have adviced you to tell Mom what is going on with her man child, Dad should be approached and child educated on trans people. Good luck!

[Dreamer]

Well to be honest I am wondering why your nephew can't go to his mother about this as surely she is the one who would be in the best position to help him. So that is what I was questioning. I mean it is great he can come to you and talk to you about his concerns, but whilst you can provide advice to him and be a sounding board ultimately it is his parents that need to address the situation.

[tapu]

If a kid talks to anyone, be grateful. Then that person can make it safe for them to talk to the parents/guardians, as is appropriate in most cases.

There are an awful lot of details about this that, in my opinion, don't bear at all on the real issue. To me, the real issue is that this child feels trapped and is looking to find alternative routes to aid. It sounds to me like Okie and Red are continuing in a good direction.

[Dreamer]

And without sitting down with the child and discussing it and getting to the nitty gritty of what the problem is then no one here really knows what the real issue is, only what is presented and so therefore there is no real solution.
I hope that Nick gets the guidance he requires and I wish him well.

[Okiebug61]

First of all The furrie is a WOMAN not a man, i hope that was explained to all The children, can we have some sensitivity for The MTF members of our community, and have you or Red taken The time and let unknown parent know said child is distraught?

Dear Lady Snow!

No she is not a woman she doesn't claim to be a woman, she id's as a transgendered furry female who makes sure the male identifying body parts are very well displayed in the tight spandex pants she wears. She likes to make sure everyone knows she is a biological male and she has stated that she has no wish transform but likes being addressed at a woman.

I have complete sensitivity to our transgendered members. This however is not one. I ask that you do not jump to conclusions about my thoughts or feelings about our Transgendered community members. I totally respect all of them and support their journey.

Peace!

[The_Lady_Snow]

Um Okie one does not have to transition to be know they are woman!
I'm sorry but you also need to educate yourself on transpeoples.

[tapu]

Call me crazy, but I think educating this boy on transgendering would be pretty far down in the developmental curriculum at this particular juncture. Especially with "hands-on" (meant figuratively) learning.

[Dreamer]

If it is part of his life on a day to day basis then I think educating the boy to understand would be a very good idea. But that of course is just my opinion.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Call me crazy, but I think educating this boy on transgendering would be pretty far down in the developmental curriculum at this particular juncture. Especially with "hands-on" (meant figuratively) learning.



Why? Transpeoples exist, why shouldn't the child be educated? Everyone should know transgendered folks are out there, it's not harmful to any child.

[tapu]

That sounds great if anyone can figure out what is going on at all. But right now, you have an acute situation. It's about where this kid is. Before you can sit down and explain the larger picture, you have to help him deal with the fact that he's in a desperate spot now. Of course, the underlying problem there is that they didn't approach the bigger picture with maturity and sensitivity to begin with. But right now, he is not reachable that way.

And I just want to establish now that anything that comes out of my mouth is necessarily my opinion. That's why I don't find it necessary to remind everyone.

[The_Lady_Snow]

The obvious choice has not been made, not all parents know child is distraught, add transphobic thinking and now it's a huge gross mess. Poor kid!

[tapu]

Why? Transpeoples exist, why shouldn't the child be educated? Everyone should know transgendered folks are out there, it's not harmful to any child.

I'm talking about THIS child. See above. I tell my kid about everything. Even fetishes. (Maybe not all, but he sure knows some examples.) I tell it as it comes up, and sometimes preemptively.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I'm talking about THIS child. See above. I tell my kid about everything. Even fetishes. (Maybe not all, but he sure knows some examples.) I tell it as it comes up, and sometimes preemptively.


Um Tapu I never gave your kid a thought, I was refering to OP's nephew not Tapu's kid, what's your deal?

[tapu]

Um Tapu I never gave your kid a thought, I was refering to OP's nephew not Tapu's kid, what's your deal?

Huh? No, I meant where you said "children" need to learn about transgendering. I'm saying I totally agree and that mine does learn these things. But I'm saying that the general thing right for 'children" is not appropriate NOW in the situation with this child who is going to other relatives with his pain.

We're cool, I believe. Yes?

[Okiebug61]

Um Okie one does not have to transition to be know they are woman!
I'm sorry but you also need to educate yourself on transpeoples.

Lady Snow! Please do not assume you have the right to tell me on what subject matter I need to be educated on. The woman in question has point blank stated that she is not a woman, she just likes to id as a furry female and be addressed as a female. She does not embrace being a female what so ever, it is her way of gender fucking and she would be the first to tell you that.

I am now going to completely step away from conversing with you on this subject matter.

Peace!

[Dreamer]

That sounds great if anyone can figure out what is going on at all. But right now, you have an acute situation. It's about where this kid is. Before you can sit down and explain the larger picture, you have to help him deal with the fact that he's in a desperate spot now. Of course, the underlying problem there is that they didn't approach the bigger picture with maturity and sensitivity to begin with. But right now, he is not reachable that way.

And I just want to establish now that anything that comes out of my mouth is necessarily my opinion. That's why I don't find it necessary to remind everyone.

Okay forgive me but from the original post.
"The poor kid is in the middle of full blown puberty and is having a huge problem with all of this. The furry wears a tale in public and the slave collar with a huge lock. The brother wears the key to the lock around his neck. It's embarrassing poor Nick and he doesn't want to go anywhere with his dad and the furry in public."

What I see is a kid embarrassed by his father and his current relationship. I am not sure this is acute or desperate and I do believe that sitting down with the child discussing things and educating him on different types of people in the world is not going to be damaging.

[The_Lady_Snow]

:| then why refer to her as transgender? Sooo confused, maybe cross dresser? I dunno I'm now just as distraught as said child.. :goodluck:

[The_Lady_Snow]

Huh? No, I meant where you said "children" need to learn about transgendering. I'm saying I totally agree and that mine does learn these things. But I'm saying that the general thing right for 'children" is not appropriate NOW in the situation with this child who is going to other relatives with his pain.

We're cool, I believe. Yes?


Shit Tapu at this point I'm confused!!! Thanks for clarifying though:)

[kannon]

Okie,
That age is very difficult. I’m sure the boy is embarrassed to deal with someone and something that is so out of the normal range of behavior. From the very limited amount of information you’ve provided, I would suggest discussing the issue with the mom and the dad. Maybe they can figure out what is really going on here.
It's just that your nephew is embarrassed to be seen with them, right? Maybe the child can openly discuss what’s going on with him. He can tell his dad he’s embarrassed and would rather not go out in public with them. Maybe his dad would make some concessions if he realizes how embarrassed and unprepared the child is to deal with this.
Would you be okay with your nephew spending time with the dad and partner if the child is okay with it?

[kannon]

The definition I found at urban dictionary:

Ok, an attempt at a balanced definition. I am NOT a furry but both sides hear me out before reaching for that thumbs down.

Furries are a relatively recent phenomenon which has been catapulted into near-mainstreamness almost solely because of the internet. It is obvious furries are very much victims of tarring the majority with the brush of an "unappealing" minority.

In the simplest sense furries are fans of anthropromorphic animals. That is, animals with human like features or tendencies (Fox McCloud, Sonic the Hedgehog... etc) pretty much all furries will create their own character or "fursona" for use as an art model and roleplaying, the designs of which vary wildly dependant on the artists skill and eye for contrasting colours (You get both amazing and appalling furry artists, and a wide skill range between these two) some furries can work wonders when it comes to creating a character on second life

The above paragraph is an apt description of your standard "furry", however there is a small but VERY vocal minority of the "yiff yiff" kind of division. Even though this sort of furry probably only takes up 1/10th of the fandom this is by FAR the type you hear about most often from anti-furry biased sources.

Furry porn is dangerously close to bestiality. Sorry to anyone who likes it, but it is... However the ones who like it seem to be in a minority, with the ones ...

[Andrea]

The definition I found at urban dictionary:

Ok, an attempt at a balanced definition. I am NOT a furry but both sides hear me out before reaching for that thumbs down.

Furries are a relatively recent phenomenon which has been catapulted into near-mainstreamness almost solely because of the internet. It is obvious furries are very much victims of tarring the majority with the brush of an "unappealing" minority.

In the simplest sense furries are fans of anthropromorphic animals. That is, animals with human like features or tendencies (Fox McCloud, Sonic the Hedgehog... etc) pretty much all furries will create their own character or "fursona" for use as an art model and roleplaying, the designs of which vary wildly dependant on the artists skill and eye for contrasting colours (You get both amazing and appalling furry artists, and a wide skill range between these two) some furries can work wonders when it comes to creating a character on second life

The above paragraph is an apt description of your standard "furry", however there is a small but VERY vocal minority of the "yiff yiff" kind of division. Even though this sort of furry probably only takes up 1/10th of the fandom this is by FAR the type you hear about most often from anti-furry biased sources.

Furry porn is dangerously close to bestiality. Sorry to anyone who likes it, but it is... However the ones who like it seem to be in a minority, with the ones ...

Thank you for this definition. I have bolded a particular section in the hopes that the multiple people who made comments in reps to me about furries being about sex will read it and understand it isn't always (and based on this definition is rarely) about sex.

Please, please don't be the type of person who equates leather, cross dressing, same sex love, furries, etc with being only about sex. It may be only about sex for some, and may be only about sex for you, but it is not only about sex for all.

[kannon]

Thank you for this definition. I have bolded a particular section in the hopes that the multiple people who made comments in reps to me about furries being about sex will read it and understand it isn't always (and based on this definition is rarely) about sex.

Please, please don't be the type of person who equates leather, cross dressing, same sex love, furries, etc with being only about sex. It may be only about sex for some, and may be only about sex for you, but it is not only about sex for all.

No, I definitely don't equate sex with any alternative lifestyle. I don't even think sexual fetishes are "bad." To each his own.

Sometimes I worry about making someone else uncomfortable because I'm trans-identified. My friends tell me it's not my job to make other people ok or comfortable with how I look as long as I treat them with respect and dignity. I'm sure people assume I'm a sexual deviant. They have a right to their opinion.

[bright_arrow]

I have a friend who is into the furry scene, and it was explained to me as such:

Furries dress up as an animal they want to be (he wants to be a fox, for example.)
Some people dress sexually, and for some it is a sexual fetish.
However, for the most part, it is about dressing up and socializing with others that are furry as well. The ones that make it sexual - that is of their own choosing - it was not intended to be sexual.

Furry does not equal sexual fetish.

As for the furry porn.. I myself am a fan of Sailor Moon - and have come across porn while searching for images. It's not originally intended as porn, but people will make what they will. So, not all furry illustrations are porn.

I can say I went through a phase in school wearing collars - and it wouldn't surprise me to see someone with a tail on - that doesn't mean slavery or furry. It wasn't a lifestyle - it was a way of dress, and in no way sexual.

My point is this: The manner of how the slave dresses is an embarrassment, yes, but it seems just that. It's not abusive. People may point, but people may point at a lot of things.

I'm not sure about what goes on in the house - I saw something about waiting hand and foot, referring to him as 'Master' - I view that separately from the manner of how the slave dresses. I have no comment on that, and without knowing it all, I still could have no comment - it's not my life.

I just wanted to try and clarify that furry does not mean sexual fetish for everyone else in the furry scene, so saying the collar&tail is purely sexual and therefore forcing a sexual nature on the child is not the case. As far as the other stuff - I have no comment.

I hope that made sense and I didn't reiterate an awful lot. My .02 cents is in and I now bow out.

[Novelafemme]

holy shit!

that being said...as the parent to a teenager and an almost 10 year old I can't imagine putting a lifestyle choice before their needs for any reason...especially during such a tender and delicate time in their developmental lives. but that's just me. and i truly believe that each family is completely unique and some are simply better equipped to handle such diversity. my girls and i talk about everything and i do mean e v e r y t h i n g, and i hope nothing comes between that universally open dialogue we have worked so hard for - but if it did, i sure as hell hope someone would call me on it.

raising kids is hard as hell and i can say from experience that it truly does take a tribe. i would sit down with this dad and have at it from a place of love and genuine concern and then let the chips fall where they may.

[Gemme]

Furry = fetish

*snip*

fetishes are inherently and exclusively sexual.

Am I getting anywhere??

Nope, because...with all due respect...fetishes are NOT inherently and exclusively sexual. That's why there are fetishes and then sexual fetishes.

I hate to be THAT person, but....

Fetish may refer to:

Fetishism, the attribution of religious or mystical qualities to inanimate objects
Sexual fetishism, sexual attraction to objects, body parts, or situations not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature.
Fetish (album) (1999), by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Commodity fetishism, a Marxist concept of valuation in capitalist markets
Growth Fetish, the pursuit of economic growth in politics and economic theory as a universal cure for all society's problems
Fetish fashion, clothing and clothing fetishes
Zuni fetishes, small carvings from various stones, made by the Zuni Indians
Venturi Fétish, a car produced by Venturi Automobiles.
Fetish, a fictional superheroine in the Bomb Queen series.

http://youtu.be/oXcWGbRUnok

look for the hidden subliminal Phallic messages.

I'd never heard of gloving before. That was awesome!

Thanks.

[tapu]

Okay, if the kid got equally upset and embarrassed because the adult accompanying him carried and wore Zuni fetishes, sexualized or not, I would still handle the situation by starting with the kid and his feelings about it. I would not just make him "deal with it." He's a child. That's why children have parents--to help them deal with things. In case anyone wonders, I would approach it this same way if the issue were with lesbians. For example, if my kid didn't want both mommies going to the parent-teacher conference. Just that kind of parent, I guess. And I understand that there are other kinds.

[Heart]

When my kind was about 7, and I had recently come out, he asked me not to talk about my girlfriend in front of his friends. I respected his wishes and was more careful. My coming out did not mean forcing my kid out too. He got to have his own process in his own time. We talked about things of course, but I did not violate his personal and public space. About a year later, he came came home from school and told me about a diversity assembly where a male teacher talked about marrying his same-sex partner. I asked M. if his friends knew he had a lesbian mom. His reply: "Of course! I'm the kid that always stands up for you people!"

Heart

[Sheridan]

I have never heard of a Transgendered Furry Slave (I have heard of furries before). Wow, you learn new things every day. I think its different and I do not want to be a Transgendered Furry Slave myself (the whole slightly bestiality thing kinda creeps me out and the whole slave thing I am not into:bolt:). I think that is all I can say, I am to confused by the whole concept. :seeingstars:It is probably more embarrassing for the kid than harming him. But I am not an expert and I have no kids (so who knows).

[Sweet Bliss]

Wow, good thing I looked at the date line for this thread.

My "are you f***ing kidding me?" button pushed hard while reading some of the comments to the topic.

[Rockinonahigh]

When my son was ingrade school the kids called me macho momma,I had gone to the same school at that age so a lot of the parents were the kids I went to school with and he also had some of the same teachers I did.THere were fure parents who got in the school yard with the kids dureing feild day or after school events.Often dureing the summer there was a day camp the school had and or over night camp outs.They thought it wa cool I could set up a tent the start a fire with out matches for the wennie roast.My sexuality wasnt even an issue nor did I bring it up or in any way be anything but myself.I had been married then divorced,my son knew I had lady friends tho I didnt sit him down and have the talk.Fast forward this many years in the future whe he was a grown man that we had the discusion about things.His reply was that he knew about it a long time ago so not to worry cause no one ever brought it up.