PPPP (Personal Pity Party in Phoenix) [Archive]

TeaPartyTart

11-20-2009, 11:41 PM

Good Evening BFP,
I just wanted to rant about my day and I thought who would make snarky comments about my bad luck to get me out of my funk? My trusty friends at BFP!

I'm stuck in Phoenix and my luggage got a non stop ride to Chicago. The airline gave me a free room, but I don't have clothes, toothpaste, etc. I checked into the hotel and they have toothbrushes but no paste so I am brushing my teeth with mouthwash. No saline for my contacts so I am using Visine to keep my eyes from completely drying out like Thursday's pending turkey.

All I want to do is be home in my own bed and my family. Arghhh.

OK I feel better. Feel free to criticize and tell me to stuff it:-)

Arwen

11-20-2009, 11:45 PM

Good Evening BFP,
I just wanted to rant about my day and I thought who would make snarky comments about my bad luck to get me out of my funk? My trusty friends at BFP!

Snarky comment #1.

Gee, I'm really glad I don't have to sit next to YOU on the plane tomorrow. PEEEE EWWW

next?

Waldo

11-20-2009, 11:47 PM

You could be stuck in Denver. :P

TeaPartyTart

11-20-2009, 11:48 PM

Snarky comment #1.

Gee, I'm really glad I don't have to sit next to YOU on the plane tomorrow. PEEEE EWWW

next?

I took a shower- but no deodorant is making this pending leg a joy! They don't have any at the hotel sundries shop. They do have a large selection of haagen daas.

*I feel pretty*

Linus

11-20-2009, 11:50 PM

I took a shower- but no deodorant is making this pending leg a joy! They don't have any at the hotel sundries shop. They do have a large selection of haagen daas.

*I feel pretty*

Could be worse. Your flight could be at 6am ;)

Arwen

11-20-2009, 11:52 PM

Snarky comment #4 (since Linus AND Waldo can't play well with others!)

You could eat yourself sick on HaagenDaas and charge the airline!

WolfyOne

11-20-2009, 11:55 PM

You could run in place in your room, work up a sweat and take your smelling oh so good self on the plane and share that fresh scent with others. Make sure you get a seat by the help.

Boots13

11-21-2009, 12:03 AM

I took a shower- but no deodorant is making this pending leg a joy! They don't have any at the hotel sundries shop. They do have a large selection of haagen daas.

Dear T.P.
I've never heard of using Haagen Daas for deodorant, but cool (no pun) give it a try. :eyebrow:

Diva

11-21-2009, 12:22 AM

Yes, I say use the ice cream for deoderant.....it wouldn't matter if it didn't work cuz Your pits would stick to Your arms...but then, if You had cats, when You get home, they would lick Your pits....which would tickle.....and then You'd laugh and think how it was worth it all.....

:D

Medusa

11-21-2009, 01:09 AM

I think you should call a cab right now, have them take you down to the nearest Wal-Mart, and buy a nice Christmas sweatshirt with fuzzy teddy-bear applique and some stretchy stirrup pants! Perhaps a nice pair of those Ugg-type houseshoes!

You will be just PRECIOUS. :raspberry:

Mister Bent

11-21-2009, 07:21 AM

Will there be a new thread each time your travels leave you in some wretched locale or will you simply continue the theme here?

I just want to know where I should go for updates.

TeaPartyTart

11-21-2009, 08:12 AM

Well aren't you trusty BFP snarkers? I'm very proud. Naturally my hotel internet cut off last night. I guess the town really does shut down.

Arwen: Thank you for starting a numbered list. I like lists. I don't like lists that say I'm 22nd in line for standby. Good work.

Waldo: I hear they have deodorant in Denver and everything.

Linus: I wish I had a 6am flight! I'm hanging onto standby hope for the flights leaving before mine. I didn't make that 7am flight clear list so holding out hope for the 8:45. Wish me luck!

Arwen: I'm a little lactose intolerant. I fear the bloating for the over indulgance of ice cream might take this whole trip over the edge!

Wolfy: I'm so glad you want me to be heart healthy. I do have my running shoes on but that's it. I would look like a bad 70's jazzercise video in my sneaks, bra and underwear working up a sweat! Ha

Boots: I would try a stick of butter for deodorant at this point:-)

Diva: I appreciate the efforts of trying to get cats to love me. Alas I'm a dog person and my dog Cooper would love ice cream pits. I just don't know what the neighbors will say if they see him next time. They talk, ya know!

'Dusa: Wow a recommended store and shopping list! You shouldn't have. I looked at the sweaters but the hand stiched bells attached to the oddly placed tassles would cause a metal alarm through security. I can't be wanded in this situation. It's just too stressful. By the way, Marlene says hi and she really likes the Marlboro ornament you made her for last year's gift exchange. Harold even switched his smokes to Marlboro because he was so touched.

Bent: Yes. In fact, I think the Administrators should create a "Travel Woes" catergory just for me where you can find my worldly and local travel adventures. Great idea. Thanks for looking out for me.

Diva

11-21-2009, 08:49 AM

You said "wanded"...............Here. You may carry the Wanding Sock. :sock:

Arwen

11-21-2009, 08:49 AM

SmartyTarty, I think you should just continue your travel woes here in this thread since I'm already subscribed. This way I won't have to chase your cute rear all over the Planet. :vampire:AND if you travel so darn much, why not Austin?

Do you hate Austin?
Is it me?
Is it Puplove?
Is it Diva?
Is it the Drunken Whore Club?
Is it the fabulous music and food that you hate?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Hater

TeaPartyTart

11-21-2009, 08:55 AM

Oh Diva! I guess I said wanded and I wasn't even thinking dirty stuff. Sheesh!

Arwen. It's not that I don't like Austin. I fear I will love it SO much I will never leave. I mean to be a member of the Drunken Whores Club is right up there with being a Pink Lady *hiccup*.

I'm also very touched that I have a subscriber! I should have put more thought into naming the thread. I feel I have 'coded myself into a corner' by labeling it Phoenix. Personal Pity Party-A Travel Woes Memoir might serve as a better title. If only I planned on a following as big as Oprah's!

Arwen

11-21-2009, 09:16 AM

apretty

11-21-2009, 09:24 AM

the 'accidental' phoenician - they're known locally as 'snow birds' and they start arriving around november 1 and can be seen taking full advantage of 4:00 early bird specials. i believe that TPT has lost her luggage and her flock.

Bit

11-21-2009, 09:46 AM

Ye GADS, Tart, I would have come undone! Trapped in Hel---err, I mean, Phoenix of course--with NO DEODORANT?

I believe the airline owes you Hazardous Duty Pay for that. :hrmph:

I personally cannot think of a more awful-and-pity-inspiring place than Phoenix, so I like the name of this thread.

EVER so sincerely,
Escapee

theoddz

11-21-2009, 09:50 AM

Awwwww.....poor Tahhhht.

I know wanding first hand. Every time I travel, I get pulled out of line, wanded and some big lug of a dude in a uniform gropes me with a pair of gloves (yes, even my crotch area). I'm sure it's my natural "nervous and afraid" look...and maybe that "I gotta wee" look on my face, too, because it does does DOES stress me out to get pawed like that by someone I don't know.

I have 2 titanium knee joints, that's why.

Travel sucks.

Oh, and the deodorant thing?? I'd go down to the restaurant and beg a lemon off of them, then squeeze the juice under my pits (citrus KILLS odor!!! We use it in the hospital to cover severe, objectionable and sometimes sickening odors from body functions). Rub the peels in your pit area (WARNING: MAY CAUSE RASH, so don't try this at home...only away from home).

Always and forever helpful,

~Theo~ :bouquet:.....oh, look what Linus gave me ---->> :frog:

TeaPartyTart

11-21-2009, 11:05 PM

Update (if anyone cares).

I scored a middle seat on the 8:45am from Phoenix to Chicago. I somehow managed to not make a bit deal of my lack of deordant. Funny thing is I was in a white faconnable shirt and carmel/butter leather blazer. I was ready to hit the fan if I got pit stains on my fancy shirt. Thankfully I (and my seat makes) were spared any sweating incidents.

I arrived in Chicago and when I got to the baggage claim office it was me and 6 employees. Good sign for a weary traveler. In unison they all asked how they could help me. "WOW! Look at all of these people excited to help me find my bage!! Well my bag got a non stop flight to Chicago last night and I wasn't so lucky. I'm sure my bag looks better than me:-)" They giggled at me and literally escorted me to my bag in less than 2 minutes.

I came home, showered, napped and had a great dinner with the dad-in-law in from California. I also had 2 great Ketel One dirty maritinis with blue cheese olives and a scotch.

Thank you for your snark, your love, and your ongoing criticisms of me and my life. I love you. I really love you. I'm sure Kanye will take away my mic and say how the pilgrams had a worse voyage...blah blah...

apretty

11-22-2009, 01:20 PM

wow Bit, Scottsdale ain't so bad--and we can see the lovely phoenix from our front door. :tiger: <--- look baybee, there's a tiger!

Ye GADS, Tart, I would have come undone! Trapped in Hel---err, I mean, Phoenix of course--with NO DEODORANT?

I believe the airline owes you Hazardous Duty Pay for that. :hrmph:

I personally cannot think of a more awful-and-pity-inspiring place than Phoenix, so I like the name of this thread.

EVER so sincerely,
Escapee

Bit

11-22-2009, 02:48 PM

I somehow managed to not make a bit deal of my lack of deordant.

*starts laughing* :cheesy: OHHH yep, when there is a lack of deodorant in Hell, Bit makes a deal of it. :eyebat:

wow Bit, Scottsdale ain't so bad--and we can see the lovely phoenix from our front door. :tiger: <--- look baybee, there's a tiger!

Scottsdale IS so bad, darlin, but maybe you're immune. I've noticed that lots of people seem to hate the places they grew up, and when they move, they tend to love the new places... even as the people who grew up in those new places hate them, and can't wait to get out themselves.

I think if one had to live anywhere in the Valley, near the zoo would be best, or maybe in the Mountain Preserve. But really, the worst air in the country, and afternoon temps that hang at 120 degrees for a month or more, night time temps that hang at 90 or more for several months a year? There's nothing good about that.

The city I grew up in had the cleanest, clearest air in the country (100 mile visibility in every direction) and night time temps dropped to the sixties every night all summer long. Fall came right on schedule at the end of September and everyone had to wear coats by the beginning of November, sometimes by Halloween night. 80 degree temps did not show up until the end of April. Metro Phoenix isn't like this anymore. Give me a place with clean air and seasons which do not contain the word "Hell" even by implication, please...

Queerasfck

11-22-2009, 02:59 PM

*starts laughing* :cheesy: OHHH yep, when there is a lack of deodorant in Hell, Bit makes a deal of it. :eyebat:

Scottsdale IS so bad, darlin, but maybe you're immune. I've noticed that lots of people seem to hate the places they grew up, and when they move, they tend to love the new places... even as the people who grew up in those new places hate them, and can't wait to get out themselves.

I think if one had to live anywhere in the Valley, near the zoo would be best, or maybe in the Mountain Preserve. But really, the worst air in the country, and afternoon temps that hang at 120 degrees for a month or more, night time temps that hang at 90 or more for several months a year? There's nothing good about that.

The city I grew up in had the cleanest, clearest air in the country (100 mile visibility in every direction) and night time temps dropped to the sixties every night all summer long. Fall came right on schedule at the end of September and everyone had to wear coats by the beginning of November, sometimes by Halloween night. 80 degree temps did not show up until the end of April. Metro Phoenix isn't like this anymore. Give me a place with clean air and seasons which do not contain the word "Hell" even by implication, please...

wow Bit, Scottsdale ain't so bad--and we can see the lovely phoenix from our front door. :tiger: <--- look baybee, there's a tiger!

Wow pretty, I guess we have to move. We just got told.

Mister Bent

11-22-2009, 03:18 PM

<shnip>
I'm also very touched that I have a subscriber! I should have put more thought into naming the thread. I feel I have 'coded myself into a corner' by labeling it Phoenix. Personal Pity Party-A Travel Woes Memoir might serve as a better title. If only I planned on a following as big as Oprah's!

If you are naming it, I suggest Travels With A Tart.

I understand it IS possible to change thread titles (or at least, have seen it done once).

If you do manage to wrangle the edit, I vote for Arwen's suggestion. In fact, maybe you could make her your manager and she could talk to the admin for you.

Sometimes I'm amazed at my own helpfulness.

*subscribes*

Bit

11-22-2009, 03:38 PM

Wow pretty, I guess we have to move. We just got told.

Eh. People often hate the places they grow up in. You got told why I hate Phoenix, nothing more. Like I said, maybe you're immune to the things that bother me. An awful lot of people are! *shrugs*

WolfyOne

11-22-2009, 03:55 PM

You know TPT, the big question is, did you remember to use your deodorant after you showered at home :tease:

apretty

11-22-2009, 03:55 PM

Scottsdale IS so bad, darlin, but maybe you're immune.

i'll always be a california girl at heart, but there's some wonderful things about arizona, specifically scottsdale (we just got our first Barney's)!

i'm curious, i'm immune to what? and scottsdale in comparison to where/with what? i'm fairly finicky when it comes to amenities--where were you living when you were here, and where did you move to??

:beatnik:

Bit

11-22-2009, 04:14 PM

I lived all over the Valley, apretty, from Mesa and Tempe to Avondale, Maryvale to north Phoenix, central Phoenix and Sunnyslope for more than forty years. I had/have family living everywhere from Peoria to Chandler to Scottsdale to Red Mountain Ranch, and of course all over Phoenix itself.

I live in Wichita, Kansas now.

You would be "immune" to the things which bothered me, the things I mentioned in my previous posts.

I really never meant to cause such a derail in TPT's thread, so if you want to talk more about it, let's PM, k?

TeaPartyTart

11-23-2009, 08:01 AM

Happy Monday. I'm still home and hoping to not have to hop a plane for at least a week!

I want to formally apologize to my subscribers and readers, alike for the rash of typos (BIT:-) in my last post. I should know better than to drink and post. I was just so damn happy to home and have deordorant applied I wanted to share it with you, my fans.

As far as renaming the thread. I leave that task up to all of you, if you're game. Perhaps start your own thread. I mean if Prince can change his name to a symbol, you snarky folks should be able to strong arm these wimpy admins into changing the name if this puny little thread. *snicker*

Bit

11-23-2009, 02:31 PM

I want to formally apologize to my subscribers and readers, alike for the rash of typos (BIT:-) in my last post.

Complaining about Phoenix IS a "bit deal" been doing it all my adult life. ;) I don't often say anything about typos but that one was just so.. well.. apropos! :cheesy: It was perfect.

Welcome home to you!

Mister Bent

11-23-2009, 05:50 PM

TeaPartyTart

11-24-2009, 08:31 AM

So what's your excuse for this one?

:snicker:

THAT one was to personally irritate you. How did I do?

Mister Bent

11-24-2009, 07:53 PM

THAT one was to personally irritate you. How did I do?

Like heat rash.

TeaPartyTart

11-25-2009, 03:04 PM

Just tried out the Thanks feature. Useful for a weary traveler? Verdict is still out:)

I'm headed to Charlotte next week. What travel woes will it bring?

evolveme

11-25-2009, 03:19 PM

Just tried out the Thanks feature. Useful for a weary traveler? Verdict is still out:)

I'm headed to Charlotte next week. What travel woes will it bring?

You will have to contend with obnoxious people wearing powder blue and calling it "teal."

Idiots, the lot of them.

evolveme

11-25-2009, 03:20 PM

THAT one was to personally irritate you. How did I do?

You have been thanked for personally irritating him.

:kiss:

TeaPartyTart

11-25-2009, 03:33 PM

I should pull out all of my teal! I want to blend with the locals.

Mister Bent

11-25-2009, 11:35 PM

You have been thanked for personally irritating him.

:kiss:

Where's the "Thanks for nothin!" button?

TeaPartyTart

11-25-2009, 11:38 PM

Where's the "Thanks for nothin!" button?

Any requests for features should be forwarded to the Administration of the site. I think it's great you have such great ideas for continuous improvement *snicker*.

Mister Bent

11-25-2009, 11:43 PM

Any requests for features should be forwarded to the Administration of the site. I think it's great you have such great ideas for continuous improvement *snicker*.

Look you.

I know people in Charlotte! I can arrange something BAD to happen to your deordant.

Ok, well really, I know people who drive through Charlotte.

I may have even driven through once, myself. No, wait. Nope, I haven't been to Charlotte.

Anyway. Don't lose your luggage.