Talk to me about hair.

[SecretAgentMa'am]

As a bit of background, I'm 35, currently unemployed (probably for quite a while in this economy) and a full time student. I am looking for work, but since I'm in school the places I'm applying are generally retail/serving/similar part time jobs. Also, I live in Portland, OR where lawyers and doctors have facial piercings and extensive tattoos.

So, since I'm an unemployed college student, I'm thinking now is the best possible time to do something drastic with my hair. Previously, the most extreme thing I've done was go from my natural light brown to fire engine red. My hair is currently waist-length, colored dark auburn with natural henna, and naturally curly. I'm thinking I want to cut off about half the length and get purple highlights. I was thinking extensions since I've spent years believing that using chemical dyes over henna will melt your hair or make it fall out, but that's possibly not true? Does anyone have experience? Any suggestions? Think I should go with a different color? Expressions of horror that I'd consider such a thing at my age? Extensions seem safer, but also a lot more expensive. I am on a budget. Help me decide what to do!

[princessbelle]

Your hair sounds beautiful just like it is. But, i understand wanting a change. Quite honestly i'm a little puzzled and perhaps too old to understand why you would want to cut it and then get extensions? Maybe i just don't get the concept. I'm 48 so i'm not exactly caught up on all the things out there.

I do like the idea of cutting it a little with purple highlights. It sounds great. Also, know there are professional hair folks on this site that can help you with some of your questions. I'm sure they will step forward.

From my perspective...you are a college student, what better time to go as crazy or modern as you want.

Good luck and let us know what you do.....we want pictures!!! ;)

[Apocalipstic]

Well, to meeeeeeeeee......lol....extensions seem an expensive way to go if you can actually grow your own hair?

The Henna effect washes out on a few weeks, so unless you just colored your hair, you should be just fine.

With your hair dark, you will have to bleach it white to dye it a pure purple, is that what you were thinking?

What about clip in extention-esque pieces of hair you can take in and out rather than actually getting anything sewed in?

Condition condition condition

and

35 is way young, have a blast with your hair! :)

[Apocalipstic]

Your hair sounds beautiful just like it is. But, i understand wanting a change. Quite honestly i'm a little puzzled and perhaps too old to understand why you would want to cut it and then get extensions? Maybe i just don't get the concept. I'm 48 so i'm not exactly caught up on all the things out there.

I do like the idea of cutting it a little with purple highlights. It sounds great. Also, know there are professional hair folks on this site that can help you with some of your questions. I'm sure they will step forward.

From my perspective...you are a college student, what better time to go as crazy or modern as you want.

Good luck and let us know what you do.....we want pictures!!! ;)

GMTA! :)

so excited to meet you!!!!

[SecretAgentMa'am]

Maybe the product I'm thinking of is actually a weave? Is there a difference between weaves and extensions? I'm thinking of getting pre-dyed pieces of fake hair added to my hair, rather than coloring my actual hair. I am not up on the lingo. So the colored parts would be the same length as the rest of my hair after the cut. I would want the color to be curly like the rest of my hair, though, and it looks like curly weaves/extensions/whatever they're called are even more expensive than straight ones. I am thinking of a vibrant, royal purple. Actually, what I'd really like to do is get all the colors of the rainbow, so my head is a pride flag and people will stop assuming I'm straight all the time, but I'm not sure I can pull that off. :)

I have looked at the clip in hair pieces, but I know myself. I would never be able to get them to look as good as a stylist, and then I'd never wear them.

My little sister (well, 5 years younger, but she'll always be little to me) just shaved her head bald a couple of weeks ago and inspired me. I briefly considered shaving mine, too, since she did it as a fundraiser for cancer research, but then I couldn't go through with it. Anything less drastic than that doesn't seem so drastic to me anymore.

[princessbelle]

Maybe the product I'm thinking of is actually a weave? Is there a difference between weaves and extensions? I'm thinking of getting pre-dyed pieces of fake hair added to my hair, rather than coloring my actual hair. I am not up on the lingo. So the colored parts would be the same length as the rest of my hair after the cut. I would want the color to be curly like the rest of my hair, though, and it looks like curly weaves/extensions/whatever they're called are even more expensive than straight ones.

I have looked at the clip in hair pieces, but I know myself. I would never be able to get them to look as good as a stylist, and then I'd never wear them.

My little sister (well, 5 years younger, but she'll always be little to me) just shaved her head bald a couple of weeks ago and inspired me. I briefly considered shaving mine, too, since she did it as a fundraiser for cancer research, but then I couldn't go through with it. Anything less drastic than that doesn't seem so drastic to me anymore.


Ohhhhhhhh ok i think i'm getting it. So you don't want to damage your hair by coloring it? Right? Therefore the extension idea or weave?

Yeah you do need a professional opinion and i'm sure someone knows what to advise.

I do know this....anytime in my life when i've wanted a change, the hair was always the best idea. I've had it short short and way long. Right now it's down about midway on my back. I love it that length because i can put it up in a high pony tail to get it off of me when i'm tired of it.

*thinks about the purple highlights

I really wish i had the courage to do that. It's a great idea to reach out and get opinions. Good for you!!!!

[SecretAgentMa'am]

Exactly. I've been coloring my hair with henna for almost 10 years, so there's a lot of henna deposited in my hair (henna doesn't fade like dyes do). Depending on who you ask, dye might be fine or might make my hair fall out or melt. Also, I used to dye my sister's hair for her with Manic Panic, and the purple always faded out to a kind of pale lavender after a couple of weeks. I don't know if there's a way to dye my hair that won't fade and look terrible after a bit.

[Apocalipstic]

I think as long as it does not hurt your existing hair and you can afford it....go for it!

It sounds really cute!

We have this aqe thing in this country, like after a certain age we can't have fun with style, have fun with your hair and get a cool job to rock it.

Pics please.

[Gemme]

Well, whatever you choose to do, if you are going to cut at least 10 inches of your hair off, consider giving it to Locks of Love. Great organization.

[SecretAgentMa'am]

I don't think I'll be cutting off quite enough for LoL, but my sister did donate hers when she shaved it all off.

I just had another idea. I could leave it a bit longer, cut layers, and then dye just the last couple of inches in little scattered clumps of royal purple and maybe Crayola red. That way, if I decide I hate it or I need to get rid of it, I can just cut my hair a little shorter. Also, I think it would look awesome.

[SecretAgentMa'am]

So I took the plunge yesterday. I decided to go with dye, and just do the tips so that the part I messed with could be cut off if something terrible happened.

I also decided to go to a local community college cosmetology department salon. Mostly because I've just never been able to convince myself that it's okay to drop $200 to get my hair done.

The good:
I have now established with confidence that I *have* been using the right kind of henna. My hair took the bleach and the dye just fine, and it is not melted or fried.

Because of the way the salon hours work, I wound up having two appointments in one day. I went in the early afternoon for my cut with one student, and then in the evening for my color with another student. There was some confusion about when I was supposed to pay, and then my color took so long that they'd already closed the till when I was done. So I got the whole thing done for $7. So I can't really complain too much about the bad.

I'm going to, though.

The bad:
The student who did my color did not know what she was doing and would not listen to me. When I showed up for my appointment, I made sure my hair was not frizzy and was laying in defined curls. I explained that what I wanted was for her to take individual curls and dye just the last 3-4 inches of each one, so I'd have random patches of color all over. She said she understood and then immediately picked up a huge paddle brush and brushed out all of my curls in three strokes. She insisted that she understood what I wanted and it would turn out like I'd described, so I let her go. Once she was done piecing out bits of hair and applying the bleach, I had 20 pieces of foil in my hair. After 3 and a half hours in the salon, you can't even see any of the purple unless you go digging through my hair looking for it. It's a really bright, vibrant color. Just the shade I wanted. The bits are just so tiny and buried they're impossible to see.

So, now that I've established that the warnings I've heard about dying over henna are overblown, I'm going to get it redone differently. This time, I'm going for a couple of big, chunky purple streaks from root to ends. I'm going to wait a few weeks, though, so I don't damage my hair too much bleaching out parts of it twice in a row. And this time I'm going to just pay the money to go to a professional.

[willow]

I'm sorry it didn't work out for you as you hoped but for what it's worth I think it was worth trying out the community college. Have you given feedback? All stylists need to learn the importance of customer service and the biggest part of that is listening to the client. The student didn't do this and it's something she needs to work on.

[cuddlyfemme]

I get my hair done at the beauty academy right down the street...its cheaper too :) So far they've done well but because my hair is so long, thick and heavy its hard to put a curl in my hair so I wear it in layers. As for dying my hair, I do it at home although sometimes I'll splurge and have it done where I have my hair cut

[Gemme]

So I took the plunge yesterday. I decided to go with dye, and just do the tips so that the part I messed with could be cut off if something terrible happened.

I also decided to go to a local community college cosmetology department salon. Mostly because I've just never been able to convince myself that it's okay to drop $200 to get my hair done.

The good:
I have now established with confidence that I *have* been using the right kind of henna. My hair took the bleach and the dye just fine, and it is not melted or fried.

Because of the way the salon hours work, I wound up having two appointments in one day. I went in the early afternoon for my cut with one student, and then in the evening for my color with another student. There was some confusion about when I was supposed to pay, and then my color took so long that they'd already closed the till when I was done. So I got the whole thing done for $7. So I can't really complain too much about the bad.

I'm going to, though.

The bad:
The student who did my color did not know what she was doing and would not listen to me. When I showed up for my appointment, I made sure my hair was not frizzy and was laying in defined curls. I explained that what I wanted was for her to take individual curls and dye just the last 3-4 inches of each one, so I'd have random patches of color all over. She said she understood and then immediately picked up a huge paddle brush and brushed out all of my curls in three strokes. She insisted that she understood what I wanted and it would turn out like I'd described, so I let her go. Once she was done piecing out bits of hair and applying the bleach, I had 20 pieces of foil in my hair. After 3 and a half hours in the salon, you can't even see any of the purple unless you go digging through my hair looking for it. It's a really bright, vibrant color. Just the shade I wanted. The bits are just so tiny and buried they're impossible to see.

So, now that I've established that the warnings I've heard about dying over henna are overblown, I'm going to get it redone differently. This time, I'm going for a couple of big, chunky purple streaks from root to ends. I'm going to wait a few weeks, though, so I don't damage my hair too much bleaching out parts of it twice in a row. And this time I'm going to just pay the money to go to a professional.

It was my understanding that, at a school, there's an instructor that keeps an eye on the students so that something like this doesn't happen. Was there not one?

[EnderD_503]

So, now that I've established that the warnings I've heard about dying over henna are overblown, I'm going to get it redone differently. This time, I'm going for a couple of big, chunky purple streaks from root to ends. I'm going to wait a few weeks, though, so I don't damage my hair too much bleaching out parts of it twice in a row. And this time I'm going to just pay the money to go to a professional.

As someone who had his hair dyed completely blue from age 14 to 16, I totally support your endeavour :p But you really don't need to go to a professional for it... I used to do it at home and I'm not any kind of hair expert, lol. Unless you really don't want to dye your bathtub/shower curtain purple :p

[SecretAgentMa'am]

It was my understanding that, at a school, there's an instructor that keeps an eye on the students so that something like this doesn't happen. Was there not one?

There were instructors, but I rarely saw them. An instructor was there while I described what I wanted, but walked away before my hair was ever touched. Then the student left me sitting in the chair every 15 minutes or so to go off and ask the instructor a question. Then the instructor showed up again at the very end to tell me what a great job the student had done and how wonderful it looked. That was about it. She never even spoke to me until the very end.

[SecretAgentMa'am]

As someone who had his hair dyed completely blue from age 14 to 16, I totally support your endeavour :p But you really don't need to go to a professional for it... I used to do it at home and I'm not any kind of hair expert, lol. Unless you really don't want to dye your bathtub/shower curtain purple :p

I used to dye my own hair all the time, and I dyed my sister's hair for her when we were teenagers as she cycled through every color Manic Panic makes. I was never really happy with the results, though. I'm hoping going to a professional will mean higher quality dye that will last longer. That Manic Panic junk always faded out after a week.

[Gemme]

There were instructors, but I rarely saw them. An instructor was there while I described what I wanted, but walked away before my hair was ever touched. Then the student left me sitting in the chair every 15 minutes or so to go off and ask the instructor a question. Then the instructor showed up again at the very end to tell me what a great job the student had done and how wonderful it looked. That was about it. She never even spoke to me until the very end.

Well, that sucks.

:blink:

[ScandalAndy]

You can piece your own hair and foil it yourself with bleach and developer, then the dye. Your best bet is to make friends with a hairdresser who will either do it for you on the cheap, or use her card at the beauty supply shop. My sister is a stylist (and she's flipping AMAZING) and has done that for me a time or two.

If you want the pieces to show, i suggest getting them done behind the ears and about 2" back from the forehead. If you put your hair up, the sides show up well, and if you do a part, the ones up top stand out.

[Apocalipstic]

I am relieved to hear that your you do not have melted hair Secret Agent!

Best with your hair quest!

[SecretAgentMa'am]

I have the best friends ever. I do have a friend who is a stylist, but I hadn't gone to her in the first place because she works in a *very* upscale salon and I could not afford her. I finally asked her about how much it would cost me to come in and have her fix it, and she offered to do it in trade for a jar of homemade jam. She's the most awesomest friend ever. I'll post pics once it's done. :)

[princessbelle]

I have the best friends ever. I do have a friend who is a stylist, but I hadn't gone to her in the first place because she works in a *very* upscale salon and I could not afford her. I finally asked her about how much it would cost me to come in and have her fix it, and she offered to do it in trade for a jar of homemade jam. She's the most awesomest friend ever. I'll post pics once it's done. :)

WOW...that is FANTASTIC!!!!! Yes yes we want pics!!!!!!

Congrats!!!!!

[LaneyDoll]

I have the best friends ever. I do have a friend who is a stylist, but I hadn't gone to her in the first place because she works in a *very* upscale salon and I could not afford her. I finally asked her about how much it would cost me to come in and have her fix it, and she offered to do it in trade for a jar of homemade jam. She's the most awesomest friend ever. I'll post pics once it's done. :)



That is wonderful!!! I love to trade services. I have traded make-up lessons for things before. I am cannot wait to see your hair. :)

I use clip in extensions to add color streaks but my hair is straight so that a cheap, temporary option for me.

:sparklyheart:

[Sassy]

Go drastic and have fun with it. It's only hair. It'll grow back and if it turns out that you hate the color you can recolor in a few weeks and wear a hat in the meantime.

[SecretAgentMa'am]

Yay! I finally got my hair all fixed up after the beauty college fiasco. It looks fabulous. I went for streaks rather than tips this time, since I'd already established that my hair would deal with the bleach. Pics will be forthcoming very soon.

[smouldering]

Yay! I finally got my hair all fixed up after the beauty college fiasco. It looks fabulous. I went for streaks rather than tips this time, since I'd already established that my hair would deal with the bleach. Pics will be forthcoming very soon.

Sounds great!!
I like going drastic myself I have had my hair all different lengths and for the longest time was dying it blue/black, several months ago I decided to go real drastic and cut it short in the back long in the front, its all black except for in the front where I did have purple and pink, now its a really light pink, but I am thinking about growing my hair back to shoulder length with a bit of bright purple underneath black, it doesn't take long for my hair to grow :)

[nekohl]

What advice, suggestions, tips would you give someone using henna for the first time?

I've researched the heck out of the pros and cons of henna and am mostly finding pros. I haven't dyed my hair in about 6 or 7 years and its plain ol brown right now. In the past I've been pretty much every shade of red with chemical dyes. Ive read that henna is much less damaging and I have ordered my first batch.

So I'm looking for application tips and maintenance after care :)

I'm super excited for a little red again!

[SecretAgentMa'am]

What advice, suggestions, tips would you give someone using henna for the first time?

I've researched the heck out of the pros and cons of henna and am mostly finding pros. I haven't dyed my hair in about 6 or 7 years and its plain ol brown right now. In the past I've been pretty much every shade of red with chemical dyes. Ive read that henna is much less damaging and I have ordered my first batch.

So I'm looking for application tips and maintenance after care :)

I'm super excited for a little red again!

Henna is great for your hair. I always buy mine from a local Indian import store. Regardless of where you buy your henna, make sure it's just 100% pure henna leaves with nothing else added. Some henna products (especially "black" henna) include additives that can be dangerous. If you ever decide to go back to chemical dyes, bad reactions can happen if you've been using henna that includes any metallic salts.

You can use all sorts of different recipes to mix it up depending on the results you want. I mix mine with rooibos tea (to amp up the red tones a little more), olive oil, lemon juice, and lavender oil. All you really need to mix your henna is hot water, something acidic, and something oily, so there are almost endless possibilities. Different teas will give you different tones, you can use any oil that you'd normally use to condition your hair, and while lemon juice is most common any citrus juice will work. Eucalyptus oil is the most traditional essential oil to use, but I prefer the scent of lavender. Just make sure whatever essential oils you use are safe to apply to your skin.

[nekohl]

Thanks for the input :)

I've ordered 100% pure henna with nothing added. So now I just have to choose what to mix it with. I was thinking lavender.

Have you run into staining on your neck or hairline? I used to do henna designs on my hands back in the college days. But this is a different ball game.

[SecretAgentMa'am]

I mix my henna paste pretty thick to prevent dripping and wear latex gloves to apply it. My scalp does generally look a bit orange for a few days. I applied henna without gloves once when I hadn't been using it very long and my hands were stained for weeks. As long as you're quick to wash off any drips before the henna paste has time to dry, staining is pretty minimal. I always apply the paste, then cover my hair with saran wrap or a processing cap and jump in the shower to get any drips off my skin.

[nekohl]

I henna'd last night. LOVE IT! The color is so rich. It's just what I was hoping for :) thanks for the tips :hangloose:

[Gemme]

*bumpity bump bump*

[justkim]

*bumpity bump bump*

Why are you doing the bump so early in the morning? Good morning Gemme...

[Gemme]

Why are you doing the bump so early in the morning? Good morning Gemme...

Good morning!

I saw IslandScout looking for hair advice and thought I would throw up a couple threads that might have some good info for her.

How are you today?

[justkim]

Cool... I will go and look... I am good...

[LuckyButch-1982]

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

[Isadora]

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

I cut my hair short for several reasons:
1. it makes me feel more femme
2. it is part of my culture to cut my hair as part of a a life change ritual
3. it really shows off my eyebrows and face, I have perfect eyebrow karma.
4. it makes me look ten years younger and I am a vain fucker
5. it delights me to prove people that believe like you wrong, and
6. I am in the process of cutting away all the colouring in my hair to let it be natural.

I have very short hair at the moment, no one would ever say I had butch or masculine tendencies. Well, unless you call bossy masculine? Cause I am that, too. Or if you call self supportive masculine? Cause I am that, too.

[La Perla]

how fun to go on youtube and get hair ideas. i like this method for putting my hair up. if you get it slightly moist, you can look great running around, then you have curls when you take it down. voila.
I13J7ArHTkM

[AtLast]

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

Some femees look fantastic weith short/really short hair. Just like some butches look great with long hair.

For the life of me, I just don't get gender assignment or any role of one's sexuality distinction about hair.

hell, I've seen femmes that were totally hot with shaved heads!

[pinkgeek]

Oooh I wish I could have short hair! My lovely thick curly hair cut short would leave me looking like Ronald McDonald!

Some femees look fantastic weith short/really short hair. Just like some butches look great with long hair.

For the life of me, I just don't get gender assignment or any role of one's sexuality distinction about hair.

hell, I've seen femmes that were totally hot with shaved heads!

[The_Lady_Snow]

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?



So I happen to be a Femme Top I've had my hair short and long and not once during my short hair trial was I having "Tweener Butch Tendencies"

I'm not sure what that really means or implies perhaps you could shed a light on what you mean?

I personally find your post to be WRONG, SEXIST and LACKING EDUCATION regarding gender appropriation.

[justkim]

Wow, simply Wow!
I have short hair and I don't think it makes me masculine...
Hair doesn't make the woman...
I cut my hair short as it is easier to manage since I have tons of it...
I probably handle power tools better than most, does that make me less than?
Does that mean someone will show up and take my femme card away?
Pretty sad that you associate someone's hair length with how femme they are or aren't.
It is comments like that that make me sick... nothing but assumptions...


Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

[Gemme]

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

Why? Maybe because it's their hair and their heads?

Your views are narrow, but I'm glad to see that you are able to see that for yourself.

The length of someone's hair does not denote their procivities in one way or another.

Again, it's their hair and they can do whatever they want with it be it braid it, shave it, flatten it, curl it, or cut it. You, as someone whose hair is not in question, do not have any say in the matter as it is not your hair and your head.

I hope I've helped clear up some of your confusion.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Better yet how about you don't roll up into The FEMME Zone with that kind of sexist shit.

That would be AWESOME!

[willow]

My hair has been long, longer, short, very short, curly, straight, half shaved/half long and every style and colour combination imaginable. At no point was I more or less femme than I am now because that's who I am and who I have always been.

Last weekend I was mixing cement in a bucket to fill in rat holes and at the same time having a minor melt down because I couldn't find the shade of eye shadow (pink but not toooo pink) that I wanted.

Our hair doesn't make us who we are, any of us. It is my pleasure to know, very well, one damn fine butch with long hair ;) I hope this helps you LuckyButch.

p.s. I have since found the eye shadow (I didn't want anyone losing sleep over that). Crisis over! lol

[justkim]

Flutter so glad you found the shade of *Pink* you were looking for...
Did you get the rat holes filled in?




My hair has been long, longer, short, very short, curly, straight, half shaved/half long and every style and colour combination imaginable. At no point was I more or less femme than I am now because that's who I am and who I have always been.

Last weekend I was mixing cement in a bucket to fill in rat holes and at the same time having a minor melt down because I couldn't find the shade of eye shadow (pink but not toooo pink) that I wanted.

Our hair doesn't make us who we are, any of us. It is my pleasure to know, very well, one damn fine butch with long hair ;) I hope this helps you LuckyButch.

p.s. I have since found the eye shadow (I didn't want anyone losing sleep over that). Crisis over! lol

[Julie]

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

This Femme has been completely bald... Crew Cut and now, I just wear it really very short.

This entire post from you... Makes me want to show you what a FEMME TOP I am and beat your sorry bottom butch ass.

How dare you come in here with your misogynistic sexist and narrow minded view - In the FEMME ZONE?

Julie

[UofMfan]

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?


I am both appalled and disappointed by this post.

Leads me to wonder if 1982 is your birth year, but even so that is no excuse. My son was born on that year and I must tell you he would never even think, let alone express, such narrow minded thoughts. Besides 30 is not that young.

In this day and age I expect more from the younger generation. I think you need to step back and do some real processing and think real hard about what some wonderful women have replied about your post.

Perhaps even come back and apologize for your sexist, misogynistic, narrow minded and ignorant opinion.

[Novelafemme]

Oh dear. I am guessing that you were asserting your preference for femmes with long hair and inadvertently (I hope) inserted your foot into your mouth. Again, I hope.

For me, like Julie, I have had a shaved head, super long hair, medium length, short, and pretty much everything in between.

When it's long I wear it up in an Audrey Hepburn type of do. It was starting to get very thin on top from years of being pulled back, so when my partner and I both went through cancer last year, I went short. And I love it! I'm honestly not sure I will ever grow it long again!

My femininity has nothing to do with my outward appearance and everything to do with who I am inside. Am I any less femme because I can do the same work (and sometimes harder AND better) a masculine identified person can? Um, that would be no.

This is so not the place for heteronormative, misogynistic stereotypes.

[willow]

Flutter so glad you found the shade of *Pink* you were looking for...
Did you get the rat holes filled in?

I did get the holes filled in. And, next weekend I'll fill in the new ones :|

[kittygrrl]

I would do a semi-permanent dark blue on hair at the nape of the neck (maybe a quarter of your crown) so it peaks out..that's hot right now..and it'd look amazing also..but it will wash out, so you don't have to live with it if you get tired of it. I'd leave it long in back & do something dramatic with in front but that's just me.

[Random]

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?


I call it hair liberation and for me it is a deliberate act...

Why I cut my hair...

I cut my hair because I can..

I cut my hair because my being butch or femme does NOT depend on how I might look or present, but how I feel inside.

I use clippers on my hair because I love extremes and stepping out of any box that the world might put me in...

I cut my hair so I can grow it back out again, so I can shave it all off... It's a three year cycle..

I shave my hair off because attitudes like yours made me feel like I was less than if I cut my hair....

I can't allow that..

[Random]

Wow, simply Wow!
I have short hair and I don't think it makes me masculine...
Hair doesn't make the woman...
I cut my hair short as it is easier to manage since I have tons of it...
I probably handle power tools better than most, does that make me less than?
Does that mean someone will show up and take my femme card away?
Pretty sad that you associate someone's hair length with how femme they are or aren't.
It is comments like that that make me sick... nothing but assumptions...

Kim...

So, if I wear a skirt while mixing concrete, think my femme card is safe?

[justkim]

Random, I would like to think that your femme card is safe or anyone else's for that matter. We all brings something beautiful to the table so to speak. Rock it!



Kim...

So, if I wear a skirt while mixing concrete, think my femme card is safe?

[Nurse Darlin]

I have never had short hair, nor have I ever had the desire to. I think long flowing hair is beautiful on a femme and perfect to run fingers through! My opinion is that long hair is a girly thing. I have 3 daughters all whom have long hair. At one point or another, one of them have said they wanted to cut their hair short. I have told them, if God wanted me to have little boys, he would have gave me little boys, not little girls. :) This is my opinion only...and to each his/her own!

[nycfem]

Makes me think of the saying, "If God wanted people to be gay, God would have made Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve." :blink:

I have never had short hair, nor have I ever had the desire to. I think long flowing hair is beautiful on a femme and perfect to run fingers through! My opinion is that long hair is a girly thing. I have 3 daughters all whom have long hair. At one point or another, one of them have said they wanted to cut their hair short. I have told them, if God wanted me to have little boys, he would have gave me little boys, not little girls. :) This is my opinion only...and to each his/her own!

[aishah]

wow. why is it that people associate long hair with being female? i mean -that is biologically essentialist and somewhat transmisogynist on top of being really upsetting in general.

personally i am femme and have had long hair, short hair, and shaved (bald) hair. because my hair is super thick, frizzy, and dry, i prefer it either long or bald - currently it's long. but i was no less femme when i was bald...and actually it was emotionally and physically an extremely affirming thing for me as a femme when i did go bald. specifically because my whole life people have attached so much meaning to my hair and i've felt a lot of pain and pressure because of it - shaving allowed me to let go of a lot of that bullshit.

but then again, a lot of folks might not think i'm femme enough since i wear jeans and t-shirts pretty often, too. :poc-eyeroll:

i henna my hair using body art quality henna powder mixed with lemon juice, and i use coconut oil to make it more manageable. i've never used chemical dyes over henna but if the henna and the chemical dyes are both good, your hair shouldn't fall out. however, because henna binds to the hair unlike chemical dyes (it's reallllllly permanent), you may have some weird color reactions if you try to dye over it. that's why i usually don't recommend henna to folks who are really into getting specific color results or who use chemical dyes a lot.

[Beloved]

My opinion is that long hair is a girly thing. I have 3 daughters all whom have long hair. At one point or another, one of them have said they wanted to cut their hair short. I have told them, if God wanted me to have little boys, he would have gave me little boys, not little girls. :) This is my opinion only...and to each his/her own!


I am sure this wasn't your intention, but this "opinion" may come across as insensitive to some here. And it's kind of surprising to me to find this opinion on a butch-femme-genderqueer forum. Lots of butch women/trans were forced to wear dresses, have long hair, and the like. Gender is fluid and if your daughters are truly "girly" short hair can never take that away from them. And if they are not girly, it's better to let them be whoever they are. I don't usually get into the God thing, but since you did, God made everyone and there is a great variation in gender and gender expression and I am soooo glad for that! Without it the butch/femme dynamic wouldn't exist.

Have a happy 4th.

[KayCee]

but then again, a lot of folks might not think i'm femme enough since i wear jeans and t-shirts pretty often, too. :poc-eyeroll:




Is there even such a thing? femme enough?

I used to have thick long hair, wavy and if I let it air dry it was full of curls. Many people complimented me on it. But due to an ailment I had to let it get cut off and wear it shorter now...and feel no less femme than I have before with long hair...and it goes and looks good with ANY clothes I choose to wear.


If someone would automatically consider me being butch because I have shorter hair I would feel insulted. Not that being a butch is something wrong..of course not (I looove butches...lol)...but it's just not ME.

Personally I despise this whole stereotype 'put in a box thing'..like first sight..'ah..you belong in that box or the other'....or 'oh...she has long hair, must be a femme then'....

And what about bio men who like to wear long hair? Are they femmes too?..lol..no, but seriously:

Nothing (hairdo, type clothes, make up or not, toolbox in the hand or not...lol) can 'change' me or make me feel less femme than what I am truly inside!

[Nurse Darlin]

My apologies for seeming insensitive. I guess I should just insert foot into mouth and lower my head. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

[GreeneyedMe]

Is there even such a thing? femme enough?

If someone would automatically consider me being butch because I have shorter hair I would feel insulted. Not that being a butch is something wrong..of course not (I looove butches...lol)...but it's just not ME.

Personally I despise this whole stereotype 'put in a box thing'..like first sight..'ah..you belong in that box or the other'....or 'oh...she has long hair, must be a femme then'....


Nothing (hairdo, type clothes, make up or not, toolbox in the hand or not...lol) can 'change' me or make me feel less femme than what I am truly inside!



My thoughts EXACTLY....I just recently went through this with someone I met...she firmly stated " I cannot date you because you have short hair" Really???? My hair rocks!!! Long hair doesn't look right on me...and I am femme to the core!!

[KayCee]

My thoughts EXACTLY....I just recently went through this with someone I met...she firmly stated " I cannot date you because you have short hair" Really???? My hair rocks!!! Long hair doesn't look right on me...and I am femme to the core!!

You know what GreeneyedMe...;)? Some women look absolutely gorgeous with short hair!! It just looks 'better' on them..and if you're in the 'mood' top it off with some sexy makeup and luscious lips..there you go...mmmm...Perfect!

PS: I mean, just look at Halle Berry or Sharon Stone with short hair...hello..??..omg!...they're stunningly beautiful..and totally feminine!

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Cn5F6J5oyzY/TYcRgt2_-ZI/AAAAAAAAAok/__Xw_OkUSng/s400/Hairstyles%252Bfor%252BShort%252BHair.jpg

http://www.fashionstylestrend.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Sharon.Stone_.amfAR_.Cinema.May_.jpg

[GreeneyedMe]

Thank you Kitty4U!!

You are absolutely right....I guess everyone likes what they like...has their own opinions....it's a sensitive subject for me....seems around where I live, short hair is a downfall. But hey! Their loss, right? Someone will snap me up when they decide to look past the cover and actually open the book...:D

[Lady_Di]

I cut my hair short for several reasons:
1. it makes me feel more femme
2. it is part of my culture to cut my hair as part of a a life change ritual
3. it really shows off my eyebrows and face, I have perfect eyebrow karma.
4. it makes me look ten years younger and I am a vain fucker
5. it delights me to prove people that believe like you wrong, and
6. I am in the process of cutting away all the colouring in my hair to let it be natural.

I have very short hair at the moment, no one would ever say I had butch or masculine tendencies. Well, unless you call bossy masculine? Cause I am that, too. Or if you call self supportive masculine? Cause I am that, too.


I want to see your lovely locks. I betcha you look absolutely fabulous!

and I too simply look better with shorter hair, yes... the eyebrow karma is a very good thing

and yes, though I am loathe to admit it, I am a vain fucker too, aren't we all on some level or another?

:rainbowAfro:

[Tattoogurl]

Hey ladies..

I LOVE hair, I mess with mine at least once a week or once every 2 weeks.. My momma always tells me, "your hair is gonna fall out" well momma its been many moons and it hasnt fallen out yet!!

Have fun with your hair it grows back lol..

[Gemme]

I had the one of the worst hair experiences with a salon less than a couple of weeks ago. I was getting my hair cut (donated to Locks of Love!) and colored for the Reunion and things seemed to be fine at first. I loved the style and the way the color turned out, but when I woke up the next morning, it looked like I had beaten Barney and/or Grimmace to death while in bed. :(

One side of my face, my hands and my sheets and pillows were stained purple. Not purple in a 'that's a normal amount of transfer for a new semi-permanent coloring' but a 'the bitch didn't rinse all of the product out of my hair' thing! After fighting with the manager about having the stylist redo my hair and Luvs calling back again once I'd gone to work, I got in later that day for the stylist to remedy the issue and that's when things got really ugly. She begrudgingly washed my hair (after only wanting to dab some cotton to my head....which I already did that morning so that I could go to work without purple smeared down my face) and then started to restyle it.

I was turned away from the mirror and didn't see how badly she was damaging my hair until I smelled the burning. She absolutely fried my hair in several sections. I mean, that hair has been completely singed and now is the texture of a scrubbing brush. Brutal! Then she started snipping at my hair to cut off the burnt ends, winding up with a similar but different cut than what I had and what liked.

The sad irony? After all that....the redo and the burning of my hair and it being cut into a less pleasing style....she still left product in my hair, which I had to wash out at home that night.

:blink:

I paid 2 c notes for that treatment too. Well, they will NOT be getting any more of my money and I have blacklisted them with anyone that will listen.

I did, however, learn that Ulta has a salon inside their store and the stylists there seem to be much better and the prices are better too. It's a win win for the next time I go in, but for now....I have weeks to months of hair growing before all of the singed hair will be gone.

Sad! (w)

[Kätzchen]

I had the one of the worst hair experiences with a salon less than a couple of weeks ago. I was getting my hair cut (donated to Locks of Love!) and colored for the Reunion and things seemed to be fine at first. I loved the style and the way the color turned out, but when I woke up the next morning, it looked like I had beaten Barney and/or Grimmace to death while in bed. :(

One side of my face, my hands and my sheets and pillows were stained purple. Not purple in a 'that's a normal amount of transfer for a new semi-permanent coloring' but a 'the bitch didn't rinse all of the product out of my hair' thing! After fighting with the manager about having the stylist redo my hair and Luvs calling back again once I'd gone to work, I got in later that day for the stylist to remedy the issue and that's when things got really ugly. She begrudgingly washed my hair (after only wanting to dab some cotton to my head....which I already did that morning so that I could go to work without purple smeared down my face) and then started to restyle it.

I was turned away from the mirror and didn't see how badly she was damaging my hair until I smelled the burning. She absolutely fried my hair in several sections. I mean, that hair has been completely singed and now is the texture of a scrubbing brush. Brutal! Then she started snipping at my hair to cut off the burnt ends, winding up with a similar but different cut than what I had and what liked.

The sad irony? After all that....the redo and the burning of my hair and it being cut into a less pleasing style....she still left product in my hair, which I had to wash out at home that night.

:blink:

I paid 2 c notes for that treatment too. Well, they will NOT be getting any more of my money and I have blacklisted them with anyone that will listen.

I did, however, learn that Ulta has a salon inside their store and the stylists there seem to be much better and the prices are better too. It's a win win for the next time I go in, but for now....I have weeks to months of hair growing before all of the singed hair will be gone.

Sad! (w)

I'm sorry to hear about the terrible experience you had.

In my former career of beauty (hairdressing), this was exactly how I built my clientele - solving lots of miscarriages of service: color, styling, cuts, service (big emphasis on service).

Just know I'd help you in a heartbeat if you lived out here on the west coast, Gemme. :rrose:

[~ocean]

^5 Katzchen thank god for ppl like urself , I just cut all my long hair off .. first last spring i cut about 7 " off then 3 weeks ago i cut it all off . and I LOVE IT !! the tops and sides are layered. I had a hairdresser do the length .. It's a very piecey cut .. sexy when i bloe it out .. boppy when i leave it curly. I did the layering myself. for some reason I cant find a good hairdresser that can cut and style curly hair. I can't wear a straight cut hair style ..

[StrongButch]

Mine is getting long cant wait to wear a braid again.

[ScandalAndy]

I've been growing out my hair since 2007 and am pondering chopping it all off once the weather is warm again. Thing is, I do a lot of photoshoots and work at bar events where I'd like to have long hair to do pinup styles. Does anyone have experience using wigs for stuff like that?

[meridiantoo]

I wasn't sure where to ask this question, so I thought this might be the most appropriate thread.

I use a dandruff shampoo. I don't have dandruff, I have neurotic tendencies where germs are concerned. That aside, it seems to have left my scalp smelling kinda odd (or maybe I am just being neurotic again). What can I do to bring a nice scent to my scalp? Aromatic shampoos, conditioners do not help. So, my question is, can I add a few drops of lavender essential oil to my shampoo/conditioner and let that sit on my scalp a while without fearing hair loss/scalp burns? I know that some essential oils, if not heavily diluted, can burn or cause irritation. I thought someone here might be well-versed in this area.

Thanks!

:clover:

[Asari]

I have waist long, straight (a bit frizzy:furious:), natural brown hair. I love long hair, most of the time I wear a... wait, what is the translation for "Gretchenzopf"... ah, a Heidi braid. :lol2:
I like short hairstyles as well, they can be very feminine.

[sofimichi]

I use a dandruff shampoo. I don't have dandruff, I have neurotic tendencies where germs are concerned. That aside, it seems to have left my scalp smelling kinda odd (or maybe I am just being neurotic again). What can I do to bring a nice scent to my scalp? Aromatic shampoos, conditioners do not help. So, my question is, can I add a few drops of lavender essential oil to my shampoo/conditioner and let that sit on my scalp a while without fearing hair loss/scalp burns? I know that some essential oils, if not heavily diluted, can burn or cause irritation. I thought someone here might be well-versed in this area.

:clover:

What you can do is wash it hair with citruses, like oranges or lemons. Keep the hair shiny, clean and smelling amazing.
You could also blow dry it. Before anyone throws something at me, letting it air dry might give it a "funk"
No oils!!!

[Erryl]

I know that wigs get a bad wrap but have you thought about trying one? I've got a couple since I have kinda crazy purple short hair and I love them. They give you a change anytime you want it without any commitment. Just a thought!

My other thought is that it's just hair. It grows back and if you don't like it, wig! ;)