Holiday Blues

[Niteshift]

In light of the rapidly approching holidays I thought that I would just put a reminder out there for myself and others to look around us and reach out to other people.

The holidays, regardless of religion, belief or culture tend to be a rough time for some people. Historically thoughts of suicide, suicidal gestures and attempts are higher this time of year. In my line of work, I have seen this from an up-close perspective.

Estranged families or friends. The first set of holidays after a death of a loved one. Distance and time seperations from loved ones. Seeing the "happy, happy, joy, joy" people on TV and feeling the pressure to emulate that or wondering what it is that they "have" that isn't present in one's own life. Trying to keep up with the neighbors. All these things are reasons that are expressed or intimated as to why the worsening of depression and suicide rates are increased this time of year.

With that in mind, take a look around you at work, at church, school, at the grocery store. Make eye contact, smile, say "Thank You" and actually mean it. If you have it, place the extra $5 in the Salvation Army bucket or at the homeless shelter. Volunteer time. Invite someone out for a cup of coffee. Pick up the phone. If you live near a military base, check with the MWR office (morale, welfare, and recreation) and "sponser" a military member (they usually come to your home for a holiday dinner).

Sometimes that one little thing that you may think as insignificant is the thing that is monumental for someone else.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Nightshift,

Thank you for your post. Most suicides happen on Wed. or during holidays. It is a personal struggle for me to get thru them. So yes, the smile, the small talk does help. You have just no idea.

Holidays create snapshots in our minds...flashes of friends, family, loved ones gathering together to celebrate. Sometimes the memories are wonderful, and sometimes they are horrible.

For me, I wish everyone would be safe. That would be the best gift of all.

Namaste,
Andrew

[christie]

Great thread idea...

Back in what seems like a lifetime ago, I worked at the local 24 hr crisis intervention center while in college. I never had quite a feeling of gratitude for the many blessings in my life than after working the phones on a particular Christmas Eve.

I found myself profoundly sad yesterday. We didn't have Thanksgiving at our house. The Mommainlaw went to spend the day with her deceased husband's family, and while they are always gracious to Jess and I - they aren't "my" family.

Next year, regardless of how tough a trip home may be on me physically, we WILL be at my Momma's dinnertable on Thanksgiving, wishing that my redneck, loud brothers would just shut up and eat, speaking in concert level tones so that we can be heard over the multitudes of televisions, so that my father can hear us.

I am sure that it would have been cheaper for us to fly to Nashville than my therapeutic shopping last night! LOL Jess is :accountant: the pennies this morning!

The bright side of our nonThanksgiving... a lovely new kitchen, freshly painted, new flooring, waiting on the faux tin ceiling to arrive and the new countertops.

Looking forward to Christmas.

[Boots13]

In light of the rapidly approching holidays I thought that I would just put a reminder out there for myself and others to look around us and reach out to other people.



What valuable and caring advice. I am blessed and loved, though during the holidays I see so much stress, pain and sadness in my community. It's a good reminder to extend a smile and warmth to the people I come into contact with.

Thank you for putting this out there !

[Blaze]

What valuable and caring advice. I am blessed and loved, though during the holidays I see so much stress, pain and sadness in my community. It's a good reminder to extend a smile and warmth to the people I come into contact with.

Thank you for putting this out there !

I agree 100% with Boots 13. It is a very good reminder. It's Black friday, and I had to go get dog & ferret food, so I avoided the regular malls. On my drive back home, I noticed a car with flashing lights on the Highway, I drove on by but noticed that it was an older woman behind the wheel, so I doubled back and pulled over. She seemed a tad hesitant at first to open her window, but I smiled and asked if I could help. She told me she didn't know what was wrong, but her car is rolling funny, to which I told her that her passenger rear tire was flat. I asked her if she had a spare. She replied, I don't know. I checked her trunk and her spare was worse then the flat tire. I knew that up the street was a tire shop so I told her to keep her doors locked, turn on her hazards and I would be right back. I bought a new tire for her and returned to put it on for her, she said that she thought I wouldn't come back, lol. As I was leaving she said that she really didn't have any money but that she could offer me four dollars that she had on her, I nodded and said, my dear, dear friend, looking into her eyes, I can tell that you have helped many a others out there, and today, the favor is returned. Please keep your money, as the tought was well gracious of you. As I turned to walk away, she ran up behind me and gave me a hug that only could remind one of a Grandmothers hug and teared, May God bless you! I said he has, he blessed me with the path of your love, Happy Holidays.

[Arwen]

When I get down at this time of year (and I do...oh I do), I remind myself of my personal motto which is: "seek joy, y'all".

And I aggressively seek joy. I remind myself that if I feel left out or ignored by friends it is only because they don't know that I need them. It's my responsibility to tell them I'm lonely and could use a hug or a smile.

And I always find that by giving a smile or a hug, I somehow magically get one back.

Yesterday, I expected to be alone. But an invitation came out of the blue and I accepted. Even though I thought of a million ways not to go (I have social anxiety that I am working on), I went.

And you know? I had a great time. My day was full of food and laughter and new friends. Just emailed one today in fact.

So good on you all for reaching out and remembering how to seek joy for yourself. You bring joy to my life by sharing that journey. :harp:

[Blaze]

I must be on a role today, lol.
Or angels are making me do the over time good samaritan thingy.
Once again, had to run to the store ~shakes head~ next time im walking!
Another driver in distress. This time she was mad, cranky and not so shy about her feelings of the holidays.
Her car was over heating so I stopped, rendered aid and proceeded to open the radiator cap slowly, well she started yelling for me to hurry up.
I smiled and said to her, it will spray the both of us if I open it to quickly. She said then you open it and I will get behind my drivers seat. As I proceeded to open it slowly, she honked her horn and yelled, (What's the hold up fella)? And then cranked the car over almost taking my fingers off with the belt turning as she revved the engine
I politely asked her to turn the car off so that I could get some anti-freeze in there until she could get to a shop and have the hose replaced. She yelled, what the hell do I look like? Bank of America???
~True thought~ NOT... won't go there, lol.
I finally finished what I was doing as blood was dripping down my arm because of the belt clipping my finger nail half off as she threw me a $5.00 bill. I politely passed it back to her and suggested that she put it in a Salvation Army kettle next time. She said to hell with the Salvation Army Kettle, she got better things to do with her 5 bucks.
Well, so much for being a good samarrtan, but I didn't show any discontent and handed her my Pep Boys card that still had thirty dollars so she could get her a new radiator hose. She stopped for a minute, looked at me, and said; Ya know fella? This is the first time anyone has every offered to help me out... I think you should give this $5.00 bill to the Salvation Army for me as well as this jacket that someone could use because I think someone will need it more than I.
I thanked her and stopped at the Salvation Army and told the manager about the story, and she was so happy to hear about the womans change of mind, all because someone never yelled back or made her feel bad. I guess it just goes that sometimes patience does pay off... And Arwen? Your post rocks!

[Andrew, Jr.]

I don't know how you all stay focused and positive. I am just :blues:. I have fed the homeless. I have tried to be hopeful, and happy, but I am not. I have been through too much. I have been beaten down...

[Blaze]

I don't know how you all stay focused and positive. I am just :blues:. I have fed the homeless. I have tried to be hopeful, and happy, but I am not. I have been through too much. I have been beaten down...

Then you should hold your head up for contributing to the less fortunate. Andrew, one can only be beaten down when at one's lowest point. Hence, even when I served in the Military, Yes they broke me, and rebuilt my aggression, but once I got out, I re-broke my teachings and rebuilt my compassion towards my fellow people.
Depression is very hard. But you don't have to be alone and suffer. There are many, many people that are here to lend a helping hand. We can help with the tools, but You and You alone will have to take these tools and build your own castle.
Once your castle is built, then you invite us in...
And the festivities begin! Smile Andrew, You have a Heart of Gold

[christie]

I don't know how you all stay focused and positive. I am just :blues:. I have fed the homeless. I have tried to be hopeful, and happy, but I am not. I have been through too much. I have been beaten down...


Andrew,

I think the trick for me is that I realize that I have a choice in how I feel. Sure, I could be all down in the dumps and such, but I WANT to be happy. It IS hard to stay focused and positive, but dammit, I am gonna win! Life isn't going to kick my ass and me lie down and give up.

I get up every morning, literally chanting in my head, "I choose to be here. Find the joy in it."

I don't mean to sound trite, and its not meant to marginalize just how crippling depression can be. I know, first hand, how you may be tired to your bones in feeling the way you do. For me, I had to believe that I deserved to be happy, I was more than capable of navigating MY life and that I would be a shaker and a mover, that I wouldn't let life just happen around me or to me.

Here's hoping that tomorrow, you wake and find a small spot of joy.

:smelling-flower:

Christie

[Andrew, Jr.]

Blaze and Christie,

Thank you for your kind words.

Andrew

[Andrew, Jr.]

Still at the same place as I was before.

[atomiczombie]

I feel pretty lonely this holiday season so far, even though I am close to my parents and aunt. I just wish I could spend more time with my kid. And I wish I had a girlfriend, to be honest. I also wish I were closer to all the friends that I have drifted away from during my illness the past year and a half. So I do have this lonesome, empty feeling inside. *sigh*

[Niteshift]

This holiday season is/is going to be a little difficult for me as well. I am waay to far from home and my wonderful family. I have made some fantastic friends here but it is just not the same. I'm out here working, a job I could probably find at home but for less money. I'm to the point of "screw the money," I'm going home. I told her I'd live in cardboard box and by damn I may just have to prove that...at least we'd be together...hmm, and closer too, if for nothing other than warmth. My God, how I miss her.

[Apocalipstic]

The holiday season makes me sad too. It's been a tough year.

Hugs all around :) We will somehow all make it though.

[Deborah]

Then you should hold your head up for contributing to the less fortunate. Andrew, one can only be beaten down when at one's lowest point. Hence, even when I served in the Military, Yes they broke me, and rebuilt my aggression, but once I got out, I re-broke my teachings and rebuilt my compassion towards my fellow people.
Depression is very hard. But you don't have to be alone and suffer. There are many, many people that are here to lend a helping hand. We can help with the tools, but You and You alone will have to take these tools and build your own castle.
Once your castle is built, then you invite us in...
And the festivities begin! Smile Andrew, You have a Heart of Gold

Blaze...what a special person you are :present:

[Andrew, Jr.]

Jaqueline,

I agree with you about Blaze. He is a wonderful guy. :wateringgarden:

Andrew

[Andrew, Jr.]

How is everyone doing today? I am praying for you all.

Peace.

Love,
Andrew

[la_la]

This will be the first holiday without my family. I am hoping that with a fresh start and new traditions my daughter and I will be ok.

[Andrew, Jr.]

La_La,

I wish you and your child peace this holiday season. I will be saying a few prayers for you both.

I suffer from depression, and it is hitting me hard right now. So, I can understand.

Namaste,
Andrew

:cuttree::snowysmiley::rudreindeer:

[la_la]

La_La,

I wish you and your child peace this holiday season. I will be saying a few prayers for you both.

I suffer from depression, and it is hitting me hard right now. So, I can understand.

Namaste,
Andrew

:cuttree::snowysmiley::rudreindeer:

Thank you Andrew. I will include you in mine. I wish for your depression to abate and happiness to restore you. Close your eyes and say the word Opa 50 times. It might not restore but it will make you smile. Happiness is just one smile after another and we all have to start somewhere

Peace

[Andrew, Jr.]

Yes, you are so right about that. I am trying. :bbq:

[Niteshift]

Totally opposite of my usual yearly vow to not go anywhere remotely shopping oriented after the day before Thanksgiving I went this last weekend to the big city...not really, but much larger than the tiny little town in which I am currently located.

I drove 70 miles, not aware of what day it was--as Niteshift is not just a name, it is a way of life, I often am a bit confused as to what Day I'm actually experiencing. The last weekend before that big day...the day that all proudly and in bright lights proclaim that "Jesus is the reason for the season y'all!" on a tiny sign nearly hidden behind large power-air inflated Santa, Frosty, Rudolph, the Grinch and various other Christmas icons. One of the last days to run out and buy things not needed for people that are not necessarily even liked. To purchase cheap toys that will be broken in less than the time it took to buy them. And the shouted "Charge (it)" to be echoed throughout the coming year.

Okay. Stop. Deep breath. I went for my massage...aaahhhh, sweet relief. Nathan has amazing hands with a nearly innate sense of where I hide the little stress boulders in my shoulders and back. Late lunch at a little restaurant with a book to keep me company. Fantastic waitress...making eye contact, smiling and at my request made a not the most expensive item on the menu suggestion. The chicken avocado sandwich was superb. The apple pie a la mode with caramel...amazing.

Okay so what does my Saturday have to do with the holidays and specifically holiday blues? Even though I'm a long way from home, I trying to be happy. I treated myself to the massage (I work hard and a lot)...I tipped Nathan well. Leisurely lunch. I smiled and chatted with the waitress and tipped well. While driving around and trying to decide when den of madness to go into to find a potential gift, the automatic doors opened and out comes the influx of the latest people that have put down their money and are admiring their purchases and not paying attention to the four wheeled death machines that wander around parking lots. Driving slowly anyway, I stopped...the lady walked by and just happened to glance up and see me...the "oh shit, I've just stepped out in front of a vehicle" look crossed her face and I just smiled and waved her on across...she smiled back and mouthed "thank you". The other folks having just parked their own chariot amble across and I flash the same "Merry Christmas" smile back at them. Guess what, they smiled and waved too. Throughout the shopping day (about an hour, all told---sorry, I just can't take it) I maintained my positive attitude, tamping down frustration and impatience. Once I made to Anthony the cashier, I made eye contact and smiled at him as well, made small talk.

Maybe I did, maybe I didn't but I like to think that on a stressful seasonal holiday day for anyone employed in the service industry my few moments of kindness may have made a difference in their day. I know that when I'm at work it does for me.

World peace. Ending hunger. And all the other lofty goals spouted by Miss America contestants are nice and I do hope that one day they come true. However, for now, I hope that knowing someone is thinking warm thoughts of you will suffice.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Hi Nightshift,

Thank you for sharing. I too am a broken man (person). I am just looking inside at the world from another demension. It is just how it is. If someone had to walk in my shoes, then they too would feel the same pain I feel on a regular basis. It can't be erased or dismissed. It is. I accept it. And I am trying to move on as best I can.

Some understand this, and some don't & never will.

I wish you well, and peace.

Namaste,
Andrew

[purepisces]

Thank you for sharing. I too am a broken man (person). I am just looking inside at the world from another demension. It is just how it is. If someone had to walk in my shoes, then they too would feel the same pain I feel on a regular basis. It can't be erased or dismissed. It is. I accept it. And I am trying to move on as best I can.

Some understand this, and some don't & never will.

I wish you well, and peace.

Namaste,
Andrew

Andrew, I think of you when I read these words:

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are stronger at the broken places.”
~ Ernest Hemingway

Even though you are suffering personally, I see you continuously reaching out to lift others up, to comfort them, to help them find the peace that eludes you. There is such a beautiful strength in that.

I hope that you and all who are suffering today find a moment of peace.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Thank you Purepisces. :snowysmiley:

[WolfyOne]

I wasn't sure i wanted to read this thread from the title because I'm having enough holiday blues without becoming any sadder over others posts. It was actually nice to read some of these posts, so I'd like to thank the OP for starting this.

This is a very hard year for me. Seems like if it could fall apart, it is or has. I'm home alone for this holiday and really have no friends in this state I now call home. Mindy went back to Michigan to live and R after dropping her off, is in Illinois. I've never had to be alone for any holiday before this. It's just me and 14 cats. Yes, someone had to stay and take care of them. Boarding all of them at the vet would be way to costly. I find myself pretty darn depressed this season. Part of my family is in Illinois and the other part is in Vegas. My friends are all in other states. I long for a weekend getaway, but it's no fun when you have to go alone. I'm not as outgoing as some may think I am. It's much easier to be social online than in person. Seems the older I get, the harder it gets. I don't do the reach out and call someone because my hearing is going and I don't always feel comfy on a phone anymore. Especially when I have to ask someone to repeat themselves more than once if I don't catch the words they speak.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Hi Wolfyone, :superman:

We all are glad you are here with us! :snowman:

Don't worry about asking someone to repeat themself. I do it all the time. It is part of my learning disability. I have to ask people to repeat themself all the time. It has nothing to do with hearing loss, but how my brain processes things.

As I have aged, I have changed quite a bit. What was once a day trip is now an overnight trip because I just can't take the long car ride.

My eyesight is changing drastically. I have some problems with my diabetes that is really changing my vision each year.

I am slowing down quite a bit. I still am active playing tennis, and golf. But I am really working on loosing more weight. I want to be off all of my diabetic pills.

I so get it when you talk about being online here. When you are online, people think of me one way, but when they meet me in person they realize what I have been saying for years is true. I have swiss cheese for a brain, and really am slow. When I say slow, I mean slow.

I used to be very social, but not too much any longer. It takes too much energy now. Unless someone special is coming to town, and I really want to meet up with them, forget it. I am just exhausted by the end of the day.

I very rarely drive any longer because of the freq. of my seizures. I have to rely on my neighbors, friends, and Rosie for help. If they didn't help me, I would be in a pickle.

So, please do not feel isolated. We have this beautiful home that Jack and Medusa built for us. We all are welcome. And this spot is just for us! :penguin:

As for the holidays, I always try to volunteer somewhere. To serve a meal to the homeless, or to help out with St. Vincent de Paul Society at my Parish giving out coupons for various stores. I just make xerox copies of their id's. I also go to Mass several times. I figure if I am going to give a big burden to God, the least I can do is go to Mass 2x's.

I usually get a phone call from my mother Christmas morning. It is very short, and sweet. Nothing memorable. I consider Rosie and my furkids my family. They are all I have, and without them I would be lost.

Andrew

[la_la]

Hi Nightshift,

Thank you for sharing. I too am a broken man (person). I am just looking inside at the world from another demension. It is just how it is. If someone had to walk in my shoes, then they too would feel the same pain I feel on a regular basis. It can't be erased or dismissed. It is. I accept it. And I am trying to move on as best I can.

Some understand this, and some don't & never will.

I wish you well, and peace.

Namaste,
Andrew


I understand.
To endure a pain so intense and constant that the option of not having to endure it becomes reality.

Peace

[Gemme]

***And I aggressively seek joy. I remind myself that if I feel left out or ignored by friends it is only because they don't know that I need them. It's my responsibility to tell them I'm lonely and could use a hug or a smile.***


This is SUCH an important thing to remember! Especially during the holidays, we all have much more on our minds and are occupied with a million things...it's even more difficult to notice that a friend and/or loved one is feeling especially blue or having a real hard time. It takes courage to reach out and say, "Hey, I need some help/time/attention/etc now" but when they do, we will respond.

Totally opposite of my usual yearly vow to not go anywhere remotely shopping oriented after the day before Thanksgiving I went this last weekend to the big city...not really, but much larger than the tiny little town in which I am currently located.

I drove 70 miles, not aware of what day it was--as Niteshift is not just a name, it is a way of life, I often am a bit confused as to what Day I'm actually experiencing. The last weekend before that big day...the day that all proudly and in bright lights proclaim that "Jesus is the reason for the season y'all!" on a tiny sign nearly hidden behind large power-air inflated Santa, Frosty, Rudolph, the Grinch and various other Christmas icons. One of the last days to run out and buy things not needed for people that are not necessarily even liked. To purchase cheap toys that will be broken in less than the time it took to buy them. And the shouted "Charge (it)" to be echoed throughout the coming year.

Okay. Stop. Deep breath. I went for my massage...aaahhhh, sweet relief. Nathan has amazing hands with a nearly innate sense of where I hide the little stress boulders in my shoulders and back. Late lunch at a little restaurant with a book to keep me company. Fantastic waitress...making eye contact, smiling and at my request made a not the most expensive item on the menu suggestion. The chicken avocado sandwich was superb. The apple pie a la mode with caramel...amazing.

Okay so what does my Saturday have to do with the holidays and specifically holiday blues? Even though I'm a long way from home, I trying to be happy. I treated myself to the massage (I work hard and a lot)...I tipped Nathan well. Leisurely lunch. I smiled and chatted with the waitress and tipped well. While driving around and trying to decide when den of madness to go into to find a potential gift, the automatic doors opened and out comes the influx of the latest people that have put down their money and are admiring their purchases and not paying attention to the four wheeled death machines that wander around parking lots. Driving slowly anyway, I stopped...the lady walked by and just happened to glance up and see me...the "oh shit, I've just stepped out in front of a vehicle" look crossed her face and I just smiled and waved her on across...she smiled back and mouthed "thank you". The other folks having just parked their own chariot amble across and I flash the same "Merry Christmas" smile back at them. Guess what, they smiled and waved too. Throughout the shopping day (about an hour, all told---sorry, I just can't take it) I maintained my positive attitude, tamping down frustration and impatience. Once I made to Anthony the cashier, I made eye contact and smiled at him as well, made small talk.

Maybe I did, maybe I didn't but I like to think that on a stressful seasonal holiday day for anyone employed in the service industry my few moments of kindness may have made a difference in their day. I know that when I'm at work it does for me.

World peace. Ending hunger. And all the other lofty goals spouted by Miss America contestants are nice and I do hope that one day they come true. However, for now, I hope that knowing someone is thinking warm thoughts of you will suffice.

As a former graveyard shifter, I understand the "what day is it NOW?" mentality. I've done my best this season not to let the traffic, lines or other annoyances get to me. I have been patient in parking lots and have given up the only available parking spot at the post office, causing me to park two parking lots over and walk my packages in, but I was okay with that. The person who wound up taking the spot needed to be closer than I did. I have yet to grumble about the lines or time it takes to ring people up (I've worked retail and customer service during this season, so I've been on both sides of the situation) and I dare say, like you, I've given people that momentary "Oh!" and I'd like to think that sometime later they passed it forward.

Andrew, I think of you when I read these words:

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are stronger at the broken places.”
~ Ernest Hemingway

Even though you are suffering personally, I see you continuously reaching out to lift others up, to comfort them, to help them find the peace that eludes you. There is such a beautiful strength in that.

I hope that you and all who are suffering today find a moment of peace.

A note about broken things, Andrew. Do you know that when a bone is broken, say a rib, that it heals stronger and thicker than before? One might think it'd be a weak spot, but it's just the reverse. Interesting, yes?

I just knew all those hours of watching CSI would come in handy for something! :)

[Arwen]

It takes courage to reach out and say, "Hey, I need some help/time/attention/etc now" but when they do, we will respond.


So true! Those who truly are your friends will always respond even if it is with "I can't right now but I hear you and I am thinking of you."

I got hit with a really bad "bluesy" feeling tonight. Was in the grocery store getting stuff to make to take to a friend's for Christmas dinner and heard "I'll Be Home For Christmas" and realized I won't.

I nearly cried in the darn store for pete's sake. It's just that I want to be with my family right now. I want to watch my niece open up her presents. I want to hear my sisters in the kitchen laughing. I want to see their husbands watching the games on TV.

I miss that fiercely right now.

I'll be fine. I have plans that day. I won't be alone but even if I were, it would be okay. I kinda like my own company.

And I have crazy gifts to unwrap including one from some Apple state!

[Gemme]

So true! Those who truly are your friends will always respond even if it is with "I can't right now but I hear you and I am thinking of you."

I got hit with a really bad "bluesy" feeling tonight. Was in the grocery store getting stuff to make to take to a friend's for Christmas dinner and heard "I'll Be Home For Christmas" and realized I won't.

I nearly cried in the darn store for pete's sake. It's just that I want to be with my family right now. I want to watch my niece open up her presents. I want to hear my sisters in the kitchen laughing. I want to see their husbands watching the games on TV.

I miss that fiercely right now.

I'll be fine. I have plans that day. I won't be alone but even if I were, it would be okay. I kinda like my own company.

And I have crazy gifts to unwrap including one from some Apple state!


I am right there with you, Arwen.

Lately, I've been connecting more with my bestie from school and childhood and all that jazz and the more we email back and forth, the more I smell the smell of her mom's (my "adopted" mom) house and hear all the noise from her brothers on the computer and father complaining about everything and feeling the kitties winding their way around our legs as we stand in a line in the galley kitchen, swaying slightly while on one foot (it's so strange...one starts and we all fall into synch naturally...it's been that way since Jen and I were in 7th grade)....with music in the background and her son, my heart nephew, babbling at the table.

It's been so long, he's not in a high chair anymore. He's a big boy who's in advanced classes taking his studies in not only English, but Spanish too. I can't believe the boy is already 7. Time flies...

But I feel that pull when we talk. I know that pull. It's strong and sweet and painful, simultaneously.

I've made a family with those that I currently reside. I'd like to think that, if nothing else, in time we'll still be exchanging holiday and birthday cards but I know that they aren't my true family and we won't be flying cross country to meet with one another year after year. But they are my family RIGHT NOW. And they've opened their home and lives to me and let me share their beautiful pups and that is a wonderful thing. Not everyone would. So, I honor them in their act of kindness to me.

Though I am not with those that I feel intrinsicly linked, I am with those who have a place for me in their hearts and I shall make a place for them as well.

Next year will be different, but I will still remember them.

btw, you can't confirm that the gifts are crazy until you actually unwrap them, silly girl. :gotmail:

[Andrew, Jr.]

Gemme,

You are right about broken bones. Yep, CSI follower here too. :thumbsup: Let me ask this...how does a guy say those words without looking like an idiot? I had someone tell me that before. That I had to get up, get dressed, and get going each and every day. Well, I do. I have my furkids to take care of, plus my outdoor animals. In addition to my obligations to my Parish. It was as if my life really did not matter, and I had no place. I was beyond astonished. And the woman who told me this is quite popular. That is what made it even more surprising to me.

Arwen,

I was in the grocery store the other day with Rosie. I sat on the bench in the front of the store. I sat next to a man who was out of place. His wife was shopping. He was severely depressed because his daughter came out as a lesbian, and his wife was thrilled with the news, and he was devistated. His wife was a therapist, and he was a stockbroker. He said that he wanted to walk his little girl down the aisle. I told him he could, but he looked at me like I had 3 heads. I think how you take in each major event in life affects your soul. You can forgive, and move on, but you just never forget it. Like when my father beat me. I will never forget that.

[Cowboi]

So true! Those who truly are your friends will always respond even if it is with "I can't right now but I hear you and I am thinking of you."

I got hit with a really bad "bluesy" feeling tonight. Was in the grocery store getting stuff to make to take to a friend's for Christmas dinner and heard "I'll Be Home For Christmas" and realized I won't.

I nearly cried in the darn store for pete's sake. It's just that I want to be with my family right now. I want to watch my niece open up her presents. I want to hear my sisters in the kitchen laughing. I want to see their husbands watching the games on TV.

I miss that fiercely right now.

I'll be fine. I have plans that day. I won't be alone but even if I were, it would be okay. I kinda like my own company.

And I have crazy gifts to unwrap including one from some Apple state!





Happy Holidays Bella!!! I was hoping that you would make it home for a day or too!! Look forward to seeing you!

Insert <BIG HUG> here!!!! LoL

[Arwen]

But I feel that pull when we talk. I know that pull. It's strong and sweet and painful, simultaneously.

snip
btw, you can't confirm that the gifts are crazy until you actually unwrap them, silly girl. :gotmail:

Perfectly put! I refuse to dwell on the unhappy stuff. One of my primary lessons this year has been that it's not all about me. And I actually like that.

Also, grin, I know the giver of one of the gifts so I feel safe in saying CRAZY. phbbt!

Happy Holidays Bella!!! I was hoping that you would make it home for a day or too!! Look forward to seeing you!

Insert <BIG HUG> here!!!! LoL

Darlin, me too! I was hoping to get some Cowboi time. Wasn't meant to be though. Hopefully next year. I've already put in for some Christmas vacation time.

Did they do the flotilla this year? I used to LOVE that! Box sliding on the levee and hot chocolate. grin

[Gemme]

Perfectly put! I refuse to dwell on the unhappy stuff. One of my primary lessons this year has been that it's not all about me. And I actually like that.

Also, grin, I know the giver of one of the gifts so I feel safe in saying CRAZY. phbbt!


Well, how in heck am I supposed to argue with logic like THAT???

Merry Everything and Happy Infinity to YOU!!!
:stillheart:

:cheer:

[Andrew, Jr.]

Happy Holidays Everyone!

[Gemme]

Happy Holidays Everyone!


The same to you, Andrew!

Happy Holidays and Merry Everything to everyone!

[cara]

Happy Holidays, everyone! :)

It's the first Christmess eve I've been alone in many years and I'm admittedly having a tough time. Thankfully, my family is here and they are coming over tomorrow.

***hugs***

[Arwen]

Happy Holidays, everyone! :)

It's the first Christmess eve I've been alone in many years and I'm admittedly having a tough time. Thankfully, my family is here and they are coming over tomorrow.

***hugs***

Happy Christmas, Cara. I'm home alone as well but I've got my friends Bing and Danny on the TV to sing to me. I had some rough moments but made it through work. They played Christmas music all day. LOL I love the happy ones, but I'm SO not loving that "I'll be home for Christmas" number. HOwever "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" and Cheech and Chong's "Santa's Coming" had me rolling in the aisle.

I hope you have parties to go to and invitations to turn down, sweetheart. Remember, you are MY femme crush! Enjoy your family tomorrow!

[Gemme]

Happy Holidays, everyone! :)

It's the first Christmess eve I've been alone in many years and I'm admittedly having a tough time. Thankfully, my family is here and they are coming over tomorrow.

***hugs***

You're never alone; we're watching you. :detective: :ninja:

:flasher:

bwhahahahahahaha

Oh, sorry. Was that my outloud font? :blink:

Big hugs, girly.


Happy Christmas, Cara. I'm home alone as well but I've got my friends Bing and Danny on the TV to sing to me. I had some rough moments but made it through work. They played Christmas music all day. LOL I love the happy ones, but I'm SO not loving that "I'll be home for Christmas" number. HOwever "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" and Cheech and Chong's "Santa's Coming" had me rolling in the aisle.

I hope you have parties to go to and invitations to turn down, sweetheart. Remember, you are MY femme crush! Enjoy your family tomorrow!

You can't go wrong with Elmo and Patsy!

[cara]

You're never alone; we're watching you. :detective: :ninja:

:flasher:

bwhahahahahahaha

Oh, sorry. Was that my outloud font? :blink:

Big hugs, girly.



You can't go wrong with Elmo and Patsy!

Okay. Now I'm a little paranoid. :|


Happy Christmas, Cara. I'm home alone as well but I've got my friends Bing and Danny on the TV to sing to me. I had some rough moments but made it through work. They played Christmas music all day. LOL I love the happy ones, but I'm SO not loving that "I'll be home for Christmas" number. HOwever "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" and Cheech and Chong's "Santa's Coming" had me rolling in the aisle.

I hope you have parties to go to and invitations to turn down, sweetheart. Remember, you are MY femme crush! Enjoy your family tomorrow!

Thanks, sweetie. I was pretty bummed at work, but I plugged in my music and headphones and jammed to U2's Joshua Tree. Not exactly Christmas music, but it always makes me feel better. :) I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow, too!!! :stillheart:

*hitting "submit reply" and hoping the quote thingy works like Arwen said it would.*

[cara]

YAHOO!!!!! :D

[atomiczombie]

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!
:smileyXmasTree:

:xmascandle:

:snowysmiley:

:snowman:

:anothersnowman:

:snowballfight:

:amsmiling:

:santa1:

:rudreindeer:

[Andrew, Jr.]

I'm listening to Stevie Wonder sing Xmas songs. :cheer: