Bringing It Up: Describe The Butch You Are

[Morgan]

I had come across a thread "Describe the Femme that you are" but, when I searched to find a counter part for this thread I could not....I find it interesting and would enjoy hearing from other butches on how they see themselves as individuals.

As I have aged, my views of myself have not so much changed, but have developed and brought me to the place I am today. I look back 10, 20 and 30 years ago and it makes me laugh, I thought I was the toughest, baddest, fucking butch around....and as the years went by, I realized I am not that bad...tough yes, strong definitely and well although my wildest years are behind me, I am still pretty wild.

I am not afraid of the soft, sensitive side of me, I thought it was a weakness years before, but I can embrace it.....yes, I am a woman. I identify with female pronouns because that is how I feel....when I first came out in my teens, I did not like this, I wanted to identify as a male, but like I said I have come to be okay with who I am. I say this for myself and would never judge anyone, I am me, and I am learning it is okay to have my own opinion of me.

I am at times impulsive, but it is alright, I find myself growing daily....I learn from my mistakes, pick myself up and go on. I don't blame others for the things that happen to me, I don't like chaos and I hate drama....

Ok now for the good things about me....I am great with my hands, I can fix anything, design anything, create anything. I am a visual and sensual person, I love to gaze at the stars, walk along the beach, smell wild flowers, breathe in and take in all life has to offer. I love dancing, candle light dinners with a wonderful femme, and long nature walks....

I can be wild and aggresive, passionate and sensual, or playful and serious.... I sometimes wonder if I will ever grow up, but then again I wonder why I would want to....yes, I would want to take care of a femme in my life, but I know it is okay to have a playful side, a silly side that does not need to change.

I would want the femme in my life to feel safe, to feel protected and to know she has all the love and support possible... I would want her to feel she always has a safe place to land. There would be no question about her being treated special....I am very much a gentle wo(man), doors open, order first, sit first, etc, etc.....

I am sure I will think of more things, but for now, this is all I have to say...I would enjoy hearing from others.

[Stud_puppy1991]

The butch I am...

For starters, I am a young butch, so there's still things in my young life that I have yet to discover and to learn. My journey to know has not been an easy one at all, for I have had a very hard life and had to grow up way too fast. At 20, that's not such an easy thing for me to do at all. Makes me wish that I could slow it all down at times. Still, through it, I've had some fun and crazy times to tie in with all the hard ones. I think the hardest thing for me was when I lost my father at 18. That experience there really opened up my eyes and made me gradually become stronger, and from it, I learned to cherish things in my life a lot more. The butch I am is also a fighter, and will stop at nothing to win over whatever struggle I may be facing. The butch I am, is simple, yet all one person. And I will stop at nothing to help someone, even if that means sacrificing my own happiness to do so. More than that, the butch I am..is human.

[Tcountry]

I am simple yet complicated ...
I have history, a past, a present, a future
goals... dreams... and a strong work ethic
I am almost always positive... everything happens for a reason
I am a spiritual Christian who doesn't judge others
I am strong & handy... stubborn & stern(at times)
I am gentle, loving, & kind... with a warm smile
I am versatile... hy, she, sis, mister...depending on occasion & company
I am constantly learning
I am a thinker/ problem solver
I am a trusted vault to my closest friends
I am respectable dependable honest & organized
I am Butch ....slacks & tie or work boots & jeans
I am a detail oriented cheezy romantic
I am a true Country Boi who can survive the city
I am lover of watching the earth rotate, water, & "feel good" movies

;)
*tip hat*

[Merlin]

A walking emotional nightmare but like Marilyn Monroe famously said “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

[Mr Nice Guy]

I'm an old school butch who's sensitive, loving, loyal, kind, too sweet and always there for those in need. I have a big soft center that I hide from the world but share with those I care about. Sometimes I've been known as the mean looking lesbian. That's just my hard ass shell. But if you know me then you know the truth.

[clay]

Those 5 letters are just a "description of me...and in NO WAY makes who I am inside or in my heart!
I am a true southern gentlewomyn...with manners, courtesy, respect, and gentleness abounding.
I am of the old fashioned, old school breed...one who will open doors, pull out chairs, walk on outside of and offer arm to a lady, help her with her coat, even helping to get her hair out from under the collar and prettily displayed against her soft shoulders.
I will wait for her....patiently..never rushing her., as she gets dressed for our date. I will look at her with tears in my eyes when she emerges from her room...seeing how stunningly beautiful she looks!!!
I will shop with her for hours, carrying her parcels. I will rub her feet as we sit in the food court sipping an ice cold beverage while she regains her momentum to "shop til she drops" again!
I will order for her if I am acquainted with her likes and dislikes, OR if she tells me what she would want, and I will give the whole order.
I am attuned to her at all times.
I will always appreciate her...as she is an incredible gift...she has given of herself to me..and I can be entrusted with that awesome gift!
I "get", comprehend, and validate Her feminine mystique!
I wil always acknowledge her, validate her existence, and put her above all else.
I will watch chick flicks with her, wiping away tears at the sappy parts, and handing those same tears back to her as diamonds. I will be teary eyed and sensitive along with her.
I will cherish her like a true and priceless trasure she is.
I will never take her for granted!
I am a best friend...to many
I am a confidant, one that keeps those things sacred!
I will hold her sacred in all ways..sharing intimacy only between ourselves!
I will lay down my life for the woman I love and who owns my heart!
She will have my undying loyalty and committment should our hearts beat as one.
I will treat her like an equal, always..and we will walk side by side...never "owning" one another....yet connected by our hearts!
I can cook, clean, mow a lawn, fix a flat, iron a silk piece (steam it rather) mend a boo boo with a kiss and a bandaid, and I can fight fiercely for our lives. I have won many battles on the battlefield of life..and that is who I am today..a culmination of love past..love lost..and love remains a constant in my heart..never making me jaded, cynical, or bitter. I chose those pathways, and I walked them...I took lessons from them, and made changes from them..positive changes....
So I am many things....an incredibly devoted friend, a loyal companion, a soft hearted, sensitive, compassionate gentle womyn...and it is nye impossible to "describe" one's self..for in the end..what really matters is who you are when with another person...words are just descriptions..so I am a human being with an amazing heart and I have moral compass, and turpitude. I am old fashioned, and old schooled...as I will always, always put the ladies first..and when I meet HER..she will decide for herself what kind of a BUTCH I am..as she will see deeply inside and know my heart..that is where my "butch" lives.

[Parker]

I saw this tonight and loved it so much. I wanted to share it and thought this might be the place for it. :)


A Butch Roadmap
by Ivan Coyote

pN-py8zojfk



My favorite part: "Other Butches are not your competition, they are your comrades."

If I could get my fellow Butches to all believe in and agree on one thing, it would be that.

[Merlin]

Aries,blue eyes,six foot,stubborn,hot blooded fire sign .. And true to my sign. Like a bull in a china shop in most situations. Speak first,think later .. On a softer side I am kind,caring,sensitive .. And I have a wicked sense of humour. I like lengthy hugs and kissing sessions. I love being fussed over =]

[ArkansasPiscesGrrl]

wow, I am loving this thread. A reminder to this femme of why she LOVES butch women!

[clay]

I am that butch who will wrap you inside my presence, affording you that warmth, security, sense of protection that you desire.
I am that butch who will leave you a single rose on your windshield just because...I wanted you to know I was thinking of you...
I am that butch who will get out of bed at 300am, drive to the store to get you that chocolate covered, creme filled doughnut and coffee...just because you wanted it..and come back and feed it to you...
I am that butch who will hold you when you are frightened, scare away monsters, and cover you, whispering to you til you fall asleep again...and watch over you while you sleep
I am that butch who will admire your fierceness and independence yet respect the babygrrl in you and your need for me....
I am that butch who will slay a thousand dragons, make you a s'mores by a campfire, who will run you a hot bath with candles and soft music, bathe you, pamper you, and kiss you all over...
I am that butch who will provide a shelter for you when you need it...with my big butchness...
I am that butch who will write you silly love letters in the sand...on the mirror with your lipstick, make you a peanut butter & jelly sandwich...to comfort you if need be...
I am that butch who will walk by your side..for life...when we are One Heart, One Love joined...
I am that butch who will seek comfort in your arms when my world is all jumbled and I am having a bad day
I am that butch who will seek your arms to hold me when I cry (Yes, butches do cry, too)
I am that butch who will hold you when you cry, grabbing your tears in my hands and handing them back to you as diamonds...
I am that butch who is mesmerized by you..each and every time..who will acknowledge, validate, and resonate within you....
I am that butch who knows and respects that a femme can bring me to my knees...with her feminine mystique, sensuality, and her mysteriousness
I am that butch who will never profess to knowing what makes my femme tick BUT I will damned respect that and be her all..in every way..
I am that butch....a hopeless romantic, passionate lover, devoted companion, and wait for you...here and now....:rrose:

[AtLast]

I am a butch that is as tired of the stereotypes and generalizations made about butches as I am of transmen and femmes- all of the identities that are a part of this community.

Butch is simply one aspect of who I am. A positive part along with many other things that add up to me.

[Converse]

I wear labels- each one explains something, none are contrary, each one – sought, questioned, embraced- They are etched into my belt.

https://flpics2.a.ssl.fastly.net/193/193719/e9bd90ce8d63baa30b0af5925f950d59_20091121193026_72 0.jpg

I enjoy the company of everyone who flags queer. I don’t need complete sentences to understand what a person who has walked in Butch shoes for many years is trying to say; and for those new to just finding those shoes, I feel a little ache as I know the challenges that lay ahead for them.

As a Butch I understand the struggle and strength of the Femme, the role that each played in allowing me to walk tall, for letting me see in myself what only they could.

I am Butch because others walked before me and demanded the name; I am Butch because a Femme risked everything to tell me and everyone looking our way that I am wanted. I am Butch the noun. I do not understand butchy, butch-like, or sometimes butch. I am old enough and have ventured far around the globe enough to carry the scars that the politic of any given day inflicted.

I am the kind of Butch who does not laugh easily, and who has to consciously make an effort to smile in order to make someone feel at ease. I am the kind of Butch who detests bullying and without thought will rise to the occasion. I am the kind of Butch who carries OFOS expectations and struggles with the concept that it is not universal within the community.

I am the kind of Butch who finds pleasure in every single day, feels deeply others sorrow, finds wonderment in the extraordinary, relishes lessons learned, and finds amusement in the ridiculous..... and I am the kind of Butch that you would have to know well to see that.

[clay]

I am the butch who will walk beside you..hold you...carry you...and love you...unconditionally...and never waiver in my love and committments to you!

[boobookitty]

What kind of Butch am I?
Well, I have read many descriptions and I have seen many traits represented on this thread, which I could claim as my own, but I ask myself how do I stand apart?

(grins) How I look is a BIG difference. Well sort of, ... I can dress boi, and even pass for male at first glance, ... at a distance... (laughing) But, I rarely do in public. My masculine expression, is a vulnerable and personal point of my existence. I have had dysphoria events so bad I hardly lived through them, so I decided, if I have to be 'girl' -- I might as well be a HOT one -- So call me a lesbian drag queen or a Butch in Drag, (lots of other things too) its fine with me. (one friend has called me a bulldykefaggotqueen, which I thought was funny as hell! --major laughter--)

I stand at the crossroads of many gender categories, non transitional FtM transgender/dissociative bigender/Stone Butch Lesbian.
I feel the brotherhood, of Old School/Old Fashion ideaology and I just 'get' the Butch/Femme dynamic, I never needed it to be explained.

I adore a feminine woman! I am entranced by the Lipstick Femme, and yearn to feel 'her' yield to my embrace. To see her enjoy the complexity of interaction with a Lipstick Butch. (there are not many of 'us' in the world) I am gentle, understanding, honest and respectful of feminine drama. I can be the 'Butch' she needs and the best 'girlfriend' too. (its not always easy to sort that out)

I am a Stone Butch, I joke that its a 3 trimester collage course in advanced psychology, to understand why. But, I hope to get over those issues someday. Yet, I lose nothing by that loss, like someone who has lost their sight and other senses become more acute, my genitals may not work as designed, but I can climax just from my girl caressing my hands. Or from my hands gliding across the fullness of her curves. (and I do like 'fullness' in her curves) I will also confess, a little feminine 'bitching' is a bit of a turn on to me.

I like to dance, (I lead) I enjoy singing along with songs on the radio, (I have been told my voice is nice). And after 30 years of therapy, I can talk almost any subject to death! Also, I have a wicked sense of humor and I am a compulsive flirt!

On the practical everyday--getting things done--side of life, I am a modern homesteader (have lived on this sixty acres for over ten years). I designed and built most of my house. (its two story, so I had to have some help) I own and use all the tools needed to do the work. It is small and comfortable, heated by wood, powered by wind and solar. I am a master gardener, can raise the food, preserve it, and save seed for next year. I have lived with and raised animals most of my life. I like dogs and cats. (I like to call myself a blue eyed tomcat)

I like honesty and intelligent conversation. I endevor to keep the promises
I make, so I rarely make them. I can love someone, when not 'in love' with them. (hence, I am not single)

[AlexHunter]

I'm a neo-traditionalist butch. What I mean by this is: I'm glad for the progressive ideas of the present, but I deeply value displays of manners and chivalry that seem to have been dismissed as silly by some members of my generation. (I'm 28.)

I prefer cordial discussion to excess displays of dramatic energy; I believe in greeting everyone for the first time with eye contact and a pronounced handshake... with a kiss on the hand for the ladies when the situation is appropriate; and - surprising as it may be to those who know me - I do not swear in the presence of women (or anyone, for that matter) until I know they are okay with it.

I'm no Ward Cleaver, nor am I a white knight. I'm gentle but firm.

I listen instead of waiting for my turn to talk because I think other people (especially femmes) are probably more fascinating than I am. I don't speak unless I have something to say.

I'm a queer history buff. I tip my fedora to the courageous butches - both alive and dead - who existed before my time. They sacrificed their bodies, minds, and pride in dirty bars, paved our history, and fought to defend our identities.

I'm dapper and badass; a gentleman and a bad boy.

I am a genderqueer/transgendered butch. I prefer male or gender-neutral pronouns, but I won't get my boxer briefs in a wad over female ones. I feel like a guy, but have chosen not to transition due to the cost and lack of bottom surgery options. This has caused me to proudly embrace being of a third gender on a quest to love myself. People ask me when I will transition sometimes and don't comprehend the idea that I have no intention to do that. I am happy with who I am.

I am not quite a stone butch, but I am close to it. I'd say I'm 90% stone. I am okay with being touched between my legs by the right partner; I just don't want to be feminized in the process.

I am a butch because butch means masculine. I am a butch because I love and understand this dynamic; because I adore femmes and acknowledge them to be my kryptonite; because I was euphoric when I discovered there was actually a group of pretty girls who would like someone like me.

[Miss Scarlett]

I am the butch who will walk beside you..hold you...carry you...and love you...unconditionally...and never waiver in my love and committments to you!

Yes Baby...you are this butch and everything you said in your other 2 posts and so much more!

You're the butch who walked to the car in the pouring rain and returned to the store with an umbrella...
The butch who would never let a door shut in my face...
The butch who tied moss to my car antenna as a reminder of a special day...
The butch who packed up leftovers for me so i wouldn't have to cook dinner for myself Monday night...
The butch who checks fluid levels in my car to make sure everything is ok...
The butch who insists on carrying my overnight bag from and to my car...
The butch who never gave up on the possibility of us...
i'm a very lucky babygrrl...

[clay]

Yes Baby...you are this butch and everything you said in your other 2 posts and so much more!

You're the butch who walked to the car in the pouring rain and returned to the store with an umbrella...
The butch who would never let a door shut in my face...
The butch who tied moss to my car antenna as a reminder of a special day...
The butch who packed up leftovers for me so i wouldn't have to cook dinner for myself Monday night...
The butch who checks fluid levels in my car to make sure everything is ok...
The butch who insists on carrying my overnight bag from and to my car...
The butch who never gave up on the possibility of us...
i'm a very lucky babygrrl...
No baby, it is I who is blessed!!! THANK YOU, my love, for such wonderful sentiments regarding me!!! I love you, B!

[clay]

wow, I am loving this thread. A reminder to this femme of why she LOVES butch women!

THANK YOU,Ms. APG! YOU are an awesome lady!!! Loves ya my friend! Have an incredible weekend! I know I will..wish you could join us...hugs..Clay

[StoneOne]

I have changed so much in the last 8 months I need time to think on this and at the same time I am at the core who I have always been....

[StoneOne]

I see that the person I have become is the person I have always been. Thanks again for this thread..........

[rande]

Alex, I get you and am the same way.
Thanks for posting.

[rande]

For years I knew no name for my personal gender identity, and actually swung back and forth between stone butch and hetero-femme during a personality crisis....but when it all settled down and sorted out the message was pretty clear. I am a stone butch.

I believe in chivalry, in listening, in loving honestly and completely.

Presently I have no partner, but a few years back I had a 12 year relationship with a woman. I called her my wife.
...sexually I was the giver and liked it that way, she never wanted to touch me beyond kissing and holding. We had some great kissing/hugging marathons.

At first things were great. Fantastic. Or so I thought.

After 12 years she left me to find a "real man," sending me through the fires of emotional hell. We managed to remain friends somehow.
For years I couldn't bring myself to function as a lesbian at all, let alone as a butch or stone butch....I felt neutered. Devoid of self determination. I phased into another persona, a heterosexual girl. I'd done it once before and got pregnant. Sheesh.

So eventually I met a man and formed an interesting bond....and stayed in touch with my former wife.
I watched her go through one crappy relationship after another...abusive men.
I always tried to make sure there was space to take her in should it be needed but she refused.
She died of ovarian cancer three years ago....I saw her the day before she died and whispered "I love you." to her. She was too weak to speak, but her eyes told me she loved me too.

My 20 year relationship with the man is more like two brothers living together than a couple - no sex between us, separate rooms etc.
He is disabled and I am his home health care person. I live my own life, have my own friends and am living as butch full time once more.

I never felt comfortable trying to be a man's wife, or feminine at all for that matter. If it was available to me and if the science was perfected I'd go for the full sexual reassignment surgery including removal of ovaries and all.
If wishes were horses we'd all have a ride.

If it ever gets possible I'd like to have top surgery. Then I'd feel a little more comfortable.

I don't like being touched in/on my genitals....for some it's okay. For me it's just too much. I have yet to find a woman who can melt my stone to that capacity....I'll keep looking.

Sometimes it feels like my stone was hammered and fired repeatedly, tempered 'til it turned to steel.

I stand proud of our herstory/history/hystori....and am always mindful of the personal sacrifices made by those who've gone before us...courageous, beautiful souls all who gave their lives so we could be free.

I am a "long haired" stone butch, preferring to keep my locks long - although usually pulled back in a "biker's tail" or "freak flag." I usually wear blue jeans and t-shirts, clean but not formal... but I do clean up well and like a good three pieced suit with a hat and shiny shoes for steppin' out fancy.

I lead when dancing.

Believe it or not, I go to a "straight" bar in my neighborhood and for the most part am loved and accepted...many even defer to the proper pronouns....him/ze that sort of thing.

What kind of Butch am I?
A work in progress as are we all...defined as stone/sometimes steel, but with a great big heart bursting with love for the right femme. :rrose:

[FemmeAllae]

wow, I am loving this thread. A reminder to this femme of why she LOVES butch women!

Same here! :)

[Sachita]

I'm an old school butch who's sensitive, loving, loyal, kind, too sweet and always there for those in need. I have a big soft center that I hide from the world but share with those I care about. Sometimes I've been known as the mean looking lesbian. That's just my hard ass shell. But if you know me then you know the truth.

You are an amazing person and because you can do soooo much makes you also an amazing butch my friend.

[Sachita]

Yes Baby...you are this butch and everything you said in your other 2 posts and so much more!

You're the butch who walked to the car in the pouring rain and returned to the store with an umbrella...
The butch who would never let a door shut in my face...
The butch who tied moss to my car antenna as a reminder of a special day...
The butch who packed up leftovers for me so i wouldn't have to cook dinner for myself Monday night...
The butch who checks fluid levels in my car to make sure everything is ok...
The butch who insists on carrying my overnight bag from and to my car...
The butch who never gave up on the possibility of us...
i'm a very lucky babygrrl...

awwwwww how sweet is that?

[Blaze]

What kind of Butch am I:
Interestingly enough I am the old school type. Raised with the knowledge of the generation that took to the streets and fought for our rights, the right to wear what makes us feel good, the right to walk with a woman in our arms, to open the door, politely wait patiently as they get ready, order the diner plate they want after you discussed it. Puts on their heels and strap them after they put on their stockings. Help to put the necklace and zip up their zipper. The type that remembers to acknowledge how beautiful they look, or secretly fixes a bra strap, or lip stick that is on their teeth. I am the type that will watch her walk proudly across the room. Smiles and doesn't get jealous because no matter how many may crowd around her, she never lets it get to her heart, as she comes strolling back to me. The type that would turn mean if someone threatened her, and I will verbally state that you owe her an apology. I am a Butch that has an odd sense of humor, sometimes more like a kid, a Peter Pan Soul that has an older image that looks back at me in that mirror. I am thoughtful, caring, considerate,and in an instant can be argumentative, combative, and unreasonable. I am a Butch. I am a Proud Soul, and comfortable in my own shoes...

[gaea]

What kind of Butch am I:
Interestingly enough I am the old school type. Raised with the knowledge of the generation that took to the streets and fought for our rights, the right to wear what makes us feel good, the right to walk with a woman in our arms, to open the door, politely wait patiently as they get ready, order the diner plate they want after you discussed it. Puts on their heels and strap them after they put on their stockings. Help to put the necklace and zip up their zipper. The type that remembers to acknowledge how beautiful they look, or secretly fixes a bra strap, or lip stick that is on their teeth. I am the type that will watch her walk proudly across the room. Smiles and doesn't get jealous because no matter how many may crowd around her, she never lets it get to her heart, as she comes strolling back to me. The type that would turn mean if someone threatened her, and I will verbally state that you owe her an apology. I am a Butch that has an odd sense of humor, sometimes more like a kid, a Peter Pan Soul that has an older image that looks back at me in that mirror. I am thoughtful, caring, considerate,and in an instant can be argumentative, combative, and unreasonable. I am a Butch. I am a Proud Soul, and comfortable in my own shoes...

love this...all of this even the country song part....she never lets it go to her heart..baby your not that old...unless your pics are much older than they appear

[Ginger]

I am a butch that is as tired of the stereotypes and generalizations made about butches as I am of transmen and femmes- all of the identities that are a part of this community.

Butch is simply one aspect of who I am. A positive part along with many other things that add up to me.


You make so much good sense, AtLast.

[Ginger]

I see you standing on the subway platform and in line at the grocery store. I saw you get out of a car, then run around to the driver’s side window to kiss your girlfriend goodbye. I see you in the faculty dining room, book propped in front of you while you eat, and going up the escalator, talking to a student.

I know you sometimes don’t like the heightened visibility that comes with being Butch, but there is an upside to that—you are visible to me. It lifts my spirits, to catch sight of you. I notice your belt, your shoes, your shirt, your jacket, the way you step back so some kid can get in front of you on the subway stairs.

I saw you this morning, heading toward an office building near mine. It wasn’t just the suit, the crew cut and sturdy shoes that made my antennae quiver, it was your steady pace—more steady than my own, as I navigated pot holes in heels and it started to drizzle—and I noticed the watchful way you kept an eye on your surroundings.

I loved you the whole ten years I was with N, who was amused by my crushes on Butch women, and didn’t understand what I wanted any better than I did, myself.

I trace my pull toward you to adolescence, when I read a young adult novel about a teenage girl who crushes on a boy, the whole book building toward their first kiss. I read and reread that scene where they’re standing together and she brushes her face against his starched white shirt, reaches her arms around his neck and feels the soft bristle above the back of his collar. I translated that scene as Butch-Femme erotica, though I didn’t know those words.

I was looking for you even then, in the books I read, and the TV shows I watched. When I heard the word “feminist” for the first time, I sensed something dangerous about it, something exciting. I asked my mother what it meant, and she told me to consider its root word, which I knew was “feminine.”

“So it must mean, a lady who’s really feminine,” I said, somehow bothered with the connection.

“Just the opposite,” my mother shot back, stitching my devotion to you even tighter.

I joke about going to a lesbian bar in Los Angeles when the Olympics were held there, but I was serious about finding you and I did, the whole rowing team at one long table, passing a couple pitchers of beer. Thank you for inviting me over, I had a great time and still think your biceps are awesome.

Where was I.

Oh yeah, looking for you. And I feel elated when I find you. And what I love about you, is that you always find me, too.

If I’m in a crowded lesbian bar, like I was a couple weeks ago, and there is one Butch in there, she will keep me in her sites. Sometimes I need a hit of that attention—which is different, by the way, than how I felt last night on the roof of a parking garage, wind whipping my dress against my legs in a way that made me uneasy. “Nice,” leered some guy with a briefcase, and I looked up to see where the voice was coming from and glare at him.

If you had been there, you would have looked, and maybe even leered, but not in a way that would have made that defense mechanism rise in me. I don’t assume you’re some kind of priest or knight in shining armor—I hate some of the stereotypes imposed on you—but I know if it had been you watching me on that roof, in that wind, I would have met your eyes, Ha, caught you, and smiled, and you would have had the sense to laugh at yourself.

I finally let myself look for you in a purposeful way, after my life’s most significant, long-term relationship ended, and my sister died, and I quit my nice job and left New York then came back two years later and everything was different. It was like I had hit the “reset” button my life.

I started with dating websites, and the shy vagueness of my ads got me a few blind dates with nice lipstick lesbians with whom I had great talks over dinner, comparing notes on the whole online dating thing. We admired each other’s shoes (yes, a cliché, but true), and earrings.

Soon after that, I stepped up to the plate and put “Butch” in my ads, front and center.

And then, there you were. It felt daring, a kind of “coming out” for me, and I enjoyed the learning curve.

For one thing, I learned that masculine energy in a woman is expressed in unpredictable ways, and I am still sometimes caught by surprise when a Butch reveals things I forgot could be there: She shaves her legs. She collects little ceramic things. She has more expensive moisturizers than I do. She wants to be taken of, sometimes, and she's tired of being in charge.

Those surprises make me love you even more. I respect how you hold on to the things that make you who are you, no matter who arises to police your action; even people in your own community.

What’s changing though, is our community’s acceptance that Butch women are not all cut from the same cloth. I love you in all your shapes and sizes. I hear loud and clear your struggles with body image, your discomfort in public restrooms where women call security, thinking a man is there. If my new straight friend thinks “Butch” has negative connotations, it’s her ignorance that is the problem, not you or my attraction to you. If someone at work sees you pick me up outside our building in your leather and work boots, assumes you’re my boyfriend then stammers, realizing you aren’t, I’m just happy to help open that person's world a little wider.

My connection with you is a source of joy for me, and people’s stares take nano-status next to my big feelings for you. That time I caught you browsing a bit furtively in Victoria’s Secret (where I’d told you to meet me—what was I thinking!), I was laughing at myself for my lapse in judgment, not you, and I was welling with affection at what a good sport you are.

I want you with me at my nephew’s wedding. I want to sit with you at the most romantic table in the restaurant, and I want you to kiss me goodbye at the airport, because no one’s horrified look, a whole terminal of horrified looks couldn’t matter more than that kiss.

I know you’ve had to negotiate with the world in ways I haven’t, and I am in awe of how you’ve emerged with your authentic self, intact—despite a culture poised to punish you for rejecting its standards, and eager to mock you, if you try to meet them.

Sometimes I think you’ve forgotten, that I need you as much as you need me, whether we are partners, friends or just existing in the same community.

I love what Butch women see in me, and I don’t like living without that validation.

If I am partnered with a woman full of masculine energy but who doesn’t ID as Butch, she must—at the very least—understand that if I want her on my side, it doesn’t mean I can’t take care of myself.

She has to be there for me in a way that doesn’t make her "strong" and me "weak," and she must never see as less-than, the things about me that are different from her—in fact, I want her to love those differences.

Those differences are at the heart of why I love Butch women. It varies partner by partner, friend by friend, but it’s your reverence for those points of difference that makes my heart leap and my breath change, and makes me keep an eye out for you, wherever I am.

[Little Fish]

Yes. This.

Thank You.

[Ginger]

Yes. This.

Thank You.

My pleasure.

[mariamma]

Thank you IslandScout. You spoke my heart. Not that I've ever been so lucky to have seen a table of crew rowers drinking beer *internal squeel*. Maybe I'll be so lucky one day. For years and years I've been with men and while they were not wimps, I always was the strong one. I'm looking forward to the day when I hug hym and know everything will be all right. Until then I'm enjoying those occasional fleeting moments when I see a butch walk down a street or get into hys truck (are there any butches who never owned a truck or motor bike?).

[Mr Nice Guy]

I'm the kind of Butch that Mothers want their straight daughters to marry. Of course I'm not straight. Lol:)

[rustedrims]

IslandScout..

Just plain beautiful..
I will always appreciate a pretty lady in a dress..
As i pass her i will always look back..

Mariamma..

Butches always have several trucks and bikes in their
lives..I have had my last truck long enough it now has rustedrims..
You forgot softball..

thank you both for noticing..

s..

[KayCee]

wow, I am loving this thread. A reminder to this femme of why she LOVES butch women!


This femme too!:cheer:

[Leigh]

This is definately one of my favorite threads on all of the Planet :D

[rustedrims]

The job came up for bid that i have been waiting for..I have had a hand full of months to think about it..I knew it was comming..Tomorrow is the day i make my move..[literally]. The thing is that i have to go on day shift for 6 weeks to be trained.. That isnt a problem..I am on midnights now and love it..The guy that will be training me i absolutely cant stand.!!.He feels the same about me..At least we agree on that..How much can you learn from a guy that doesnt like ya..I can deal with all that..Here is the thing..It has been quite a few years ago but he was making comments about the lifestyle i live..I would hear it from a friend what he was saying..Didnt like that and felt uncomfortable..
I need to gather all my Butch strength and go in there and learn that job and deal with him..The up side to all this is he will be retiring the first of the year..Eventually i will work my way back on nights and work with the guy that is my friend and learn from him all i need to know..
My butchness will be put to the test and i will see how much of that will be forced out by that idiot..I am in a better place with my lifestyle that i live and can handle people a little better than in the past..

I need to take a step back and look at the big picture..I get a small pay raise and i will work with my brain but will still have physcial work..A big change as to what i am doing now..I will also be getting away from people i have worked with for 20 years..I just gotta wait it out..Now i will find out what kind of butch i am in the work place knowingly setting myself up to people that do not approve..

Ya know what..??. i will be ok..I need to do this..
s..

[Ginger]

The job came up for bid that i have been waiting for..I have had a hand full of months to think about it..I knew it was comming..Tomorrow is the day i make my move..[literally]. The thing is that i have to go on day shift for 6 weeks to be trained.. That isnt a problem..I am on midnights now and love it..The guy that will be training me i absolutely cant stand.!!.He feels the same about me..At least we agree on that..How much can you learn from a guy that doesnt like ya..I can deal with all that..Here is the thing..It has been quite a few years ago but he was making comments about the lifestyle i live..I would hear it from a friend what he was saying..Didnt like that and felt uncomfortable..
I need to gather all my Butch strength and go in there and learn that job and deal with him..The up side to all this is he will be retiring the first of the year..Eventually i will work my way back on nights and work with the guy that is my friend and learn from him all i need to know..
My butchness will be put to the test and i will see how much of that will be forced out by that idiot..I am in a better place with my lifestyle that i live and can handle people a little better than in the past..

I need to take a step back and look at the big picture..I get a small pay raise and i will work with my brain but will still have physcial work..A big change as to what i am doing now..I will also be getting away from people i have worked with for 20 years..I just gotta wait it out..Now i will find out what kind of butch i am in the work place knowingly setting myself up to people that do not approve..

Ya know what..??. i will be ok..I need to do this..
s..

Best of luck, Rusted Rims!!! Of course you will be ok. It sounds like you know exactly what you're doing, what the risks are, and most of all, what your strengths are.

:)

Scout

[Mr Nice Guy]

You are an amazing person and because you can do soooo much makes you also an amazing butch my friend.

I just saw this and thank you for your kind words. I'm a humble person so all I can say is, I'm just being me. :)

[UofMfan]

To describe the Butch that I am I must start with what I am not.

I am not into camping or any other activity where I may not be the most comfortable. I have reached and age and a place in my life where staying in a nice, comfortable and even luxurious hotel is the best option.

I am not into fishing, although I will go if it means spending a nice day out.

I am not into fixing things, finishing to-do lists or any other stereotypical thing attached to the Butch label.

My time is too valuable as are my hands. I used to fix things when I was younger, now I can afford to pay someone to do it and spend my time doing wiser things.

I am not into shooting, guns or any form or kind of violence. In fact, I have never been into any fights, been hit or hit someone.

I am not old-school or new-school.

I am not into pissing contests; I have better things to do.

What I am: a mother, first and foremost, and I don’t have any problems correlating the two, butch-mom.

I am a lover of femmes and all that they bring with them.

I am an intellectual.

I am a thinker.

I am a reader, writer, teacher, and friend.

I am passionate.

I am a pain the ass sometimes.

I am perfectionist, see above.

I am aware of my downfalls, and I do have a few, but will be the first to tell you what they are.

I have been to places and in situations some of you would never even think of.

I can be your best ally or your best adversary.

I have worked very hard on myself and have done a lot of work to get where I am.

I am very comfortable in my own skin. I am who I am; I do not need or seek your approval to be exactly who I am.

Most of all, I am ever changing and my gender ID is fluid. So please, do not box me into your idea of what or who a butch is.

[KayCee]

To describe the Butch that I am I must start with what I am not.

I am not into camping or any other activity where I may not be the most comfortable. I have reached and age and a place in my life where staying in a nice, comfortable and even luxurious hotel is the best option.

I am not into fishing, although I will go if it means spending a nice day out.

I am not into fixing things, finishing to-do lists or any other stereotypical thing attached to the Butch label.

My time is too valuable as are my hands. I used to fix things when I was younger, now I can afford to pay someone to do it and spend my time doing wiser things.

I am not into shooting, guns or any form or kind of violence. In fact, I have never been into any fights, been hit or hit someone.

I am not old-school or new-school.

I am not into pissing contests; I have better things to do.

What I am: a mother, first and foremost, and I don’t have any problems correlating the two, butch-mom.

I am a lover of femmes and all that they bring with them.

I am an intellectual.

I am a thinker.

I am a reader, writer, teacher, and friend.

I am passionate.

I am a pain the ass sometimes.

I am perfectionist, see above.

I am aware of my downfalls, and I do have a few, but will be the first to tell you what they are.

I have been to places and in situations some of you would never even think of.

I can be your best ally or your best adversary.

I have worked very hard on myself and have done a lot of work to get where I am.

I am very comfortable in my own skin. I am who I am; I do not need or seek your approval to be exactly who I am.

Most of all, I am ever changing and my gender ID is fluid. So please, do not box me into your idea of what or who a butch is.

Thanks for this great post! Esp. this sentence:

"So please, do not box me into your idea of what or who a butch is."

but being a femme, I would like to add: ....of what or who a femme is.

We've been put in to boxes by the hetero-world all along, so why should we, ourselves who know better, put eachother in boxes. I'm totally against this whole stereotype thingy. Oh, as a femme you need to act this way, or that's a typical butch thing..and I can't stand the words..'you're supposed to'...I'm NOT supposed to anything. I am what I am. Period.

Come on....it's like gay people want to appear as 'normal' as possible, appear as straight, even hetero. Like a 'normal' couple. I'm asking why? I don't even want to go there. For me, it's no problem to act or be noticed to be gay. I love women and I show it. It's that simple.

[rustedrims]

Best of luck, Rusted Rims!!! Of course you will be ok. It sounds like you know exactly what you're doing, what the risks are, and most of all, what your strengths are.

:)

Scout

Thanks Scout..
I will find out if i got the job tonight if someone doesnt call me before work..
The job was moved so i will not be working with that horrible guy..Looking good already..

s..

[SleepyButch]

What type of Butch I am:

This is a really good question. I have not thought of this in some time so it's good to remind myself as well.

For as far back as I can remember, I have always loved women. I had my first crush at age five on the neighbor girl who I think was a year older than me. Of course everyone thought it was cute at that time....:sunglass:
I had struggled many years as to my identity. I had no idea such a thing as Butch existed but I did know that I was masculine. I thought I must want to be a man because why else would I have these feelings.
Way back, I had a group of friends, none of who identified as Butch/femme. When I first heard the term Butch and found out what it meant, I told them hey I'm Butch and they laughed at me. So I was confused until I found out that there was a Butch/femme dynamic. How very exciting for me. I still remember the feeling of shopping in the men's section for the first time.

I am who I am. I am by no means perfect and never will be. I am always evolving and learning about myself, the good and the bad things. I am chivalrous, caring, funny, sarcastic, and romantic. I like to put my hand on the small of your back as I lead you through the door. I am protective and a care taker, which is probably why I became a nurse. I like to hold you but I also at times want to be held. I love to have my hair played with... unless we are going out.. don't mess it up... lol.

I am human. I have feelings just like everyone else even though I try to hide them at times to portray that I am strong and can handle anything. I've learned how to cry even if I don't like it. I am proud to be Butch but that does not define everything about me.

I am sure there is more to what I could say but for now, this is a good start.

[rustedrims]

Got to bed late,alarm went off,spilled my tea all over,whipped it up with my shorts on the floor,fell back to sleep,crap!got up late,no time to pack my lunch,forgot my banana on the counter,forgot to feed cats before i left,driving faster than normal and hoping an animal doesnt jump out of the ditch in front of me..

Got to work,grabbed my junk,checked to see if i got the job,D#mn.! Didnt get the job..A guy with 1973 seniority got it and i only have 1983..
Kinda funny i was thinking i had 5 more years to finish school when he started working there..I told a girl we work with Hey a guy 73 got the job i didnt get it and she said geezzz i wasnt even born yet..!!.. We all laughed..It was funny..

Plan B try again..

Thank-you for all the support and kind words..Very much appreciated..

s..

[laruss]

I absolutely love this thread, and would love to see more Butches describe themselves and who they really are. Share yourself, it is incredibly inviting and although may make you feel more vulnerable, we Femmes love to see that vulnerability.

Thank you Parker for that great video.
Thank you Islandscout for your great explanation of the feelings we Femmes get when we see a Butch that catches our attention.
Thank you Claybaby and Miss Scarlett for sharing a piece of your relationship.
Thank you to everyone else who shared here.

I look forward to learning more about all you sexy Butches we have on BFP.

[rockstar lover]

I put the soft in soft-butch (kind/gentle hearted).
I am a jeans & t-shirt kind of butch (big surprise!).
I can be shy & socially awkward at times. But after about 3 drinks...watch out!
I am an old fashioned kind of butch...opening doors & bringing flowers:bunchflowers:
I am a minimalist...I don't like to clutter my life with expensive possessions that don't mean anything.
I have no sense of style! I'll wear what's comfortable and the decor..(what's that?!). I need a femme's touch to decorate lol.
I've worked hard all my life and I always have stable employment.
Friends and family are very important to me.
I am passionate & compassionate to others, kind, sweet, and romantic. But if you dare hurt someone I care about....watch out! This kitten can turn into a tiger!:fastdraq:
I am organized, methodical, and a planner (typical capricorn).
I am working on being more spontaneous & learning that I can't always know what's going to happen.
I love music and am a singer (in a choir). I don't do the solos or karaoke!
I am affectionate & loving. I want the woman I'm with to feel like she's the most important person in the world.
I love kisses, snuggles, cuddles, backrubs, etc. Touch is very important to me. It expresses how we feel without any words.
Only in the last year I've been able to express & explore different aspects of my sexuality. It's an exciting journey & I've got lots of time to make up for!!
Oh, and I'm a quick learner!
Don't be afraid to ask for something. You'll more than likely get it.
I am open minded and always willing to try something new.
There's not much I wouldn't do for someone I care about. I'd give you the shirt off my back...then promptly cover up lol.
I have a weird sense of humor. Things seem to be more funny in my head lol.
I have a big heart with a lot to give. I hurt big...but I love big too.
Should anyone decide to trust me with their heart...it will be safe with me...

[rustedrims]

Had a flash mob of hungry catz at the sliding door.They were hungry..Hummm i dont understand the urgency..I fed them yesterday..

Anyway..
My dad passed away in feburary so i have been spending alot if time helping mom at her house and my stuff is not getting done.We were not allowed to clean,pick things up,throw things away and dont pull weeds..Now we are..My sister,brother and i are getting things done at the house..We are on 3 different times so we go over when we can..Kinda funny how that works out cause we are never there at the same time but we are getting things done for mom..We are now allowed to clean,pick things up,throw things away and i am pulling weeds and getting poison ivy..It is looking good around there..Mom is happy when we come and happy when we leave and espically me..I wear on her nerves..I approach "projects" like a bulldozer..I am aware that i do that and i have reduced my bulldozer energy to Tonka Truck size..Mom is happy about that..The thing is i do things when she is sleeping and when she isnt there..She says "Yeah when i got home i saw the burn barrel smoking"...I say "Yeah i found some junk/trash i wanted to get out of the way BUT.!! None of it was GOOD.!!!.Then she glares at me and i smile back..I told her friday that i wasnt going to do any more than mow the yard cause i want to get back to digging up my back yard for my patio..That is what i wanted to do this weekend..She said ok..
Sooooo The phone rings 9:30am saturday..Its mom.."Lowes just called Hey my bathroom is in.!!."ok give me an hour i'll come and get the reciet..Left my house at 10:30am and got all her stuff and stacked it neatly in the garage..Ok what about the shelf thing..??.{she ordered that from another store}..Ohh that is in to..Ok i will go get it..Could you drop off my perscription while you are in town to yeahhh..Did all that and walking to the truck to leave..Mom says when you come back i have another project for you..I stopped walking..Tell me what it is..The day was already shot..Change a lightbulb in the hall..My sister made an attempt and couldnt figure out how to get the globe off..Turn that little screw the whole things comes apart..I told mom to tell my sister having all that college education didnt help her change a light bulb..shaking my head..Ended up changing the other one also and whiping it off..Finally got home at 5:00pm..Well not digging in the dirt today..The day is gone..

Looking in the garage..Bought 2 sparkplugs oil and filter for the bike on friday..{almost walked out of that store with another bike}..Ok i will do the bike stuff before dark..Cant be that hard..Take out and replace..Ummm no..Gotta take the seat off and gas tank..Pull all the hoses..That tank was giving me a real hard time..Spent a while trying to get that thing off..Made 1 phone call to my brother and told him what i was doing and he said i was right to keep doing what i was doing..Still couldnt get that thing off..I kept stepping back and thinking i need help cause i dont know what i am doing..I messed around with my other bikes but not this one..How hard could it be..??..The stubborness over rode my need for help..This thing was not going to beat me..Took a few more things off and there was a bolt i missed..Took that off and the tank was in my hands..Made me smile i got it..Started to change the plugs and that socket was a little tricky to use also..Figured that out to and i had those bad plugs out and new ones in in seconds..Put everything back on with the help of my flood light cause it is now dark..Putting that seat back on would make Jesus Christ cuss..That was tough but i got it..Hit the starter and the bike took right off..I smiled hit the throtle a few times zoom zoom on the road again..Thinking i would ride it tomorrow..Then the thing slowly quit running..Great i was thinking..What did i do wrong.??.Hummm..Stepped back looked at the bike and saw my "clippie-close-pin" still on the fule line..Great i can fix that..Hooked that up and it started back up..I got this..My brother never called me back cause he knew i would get it and i did..

That was kinda lenghty but i think that describes what kind of Butch i am..I am always there for my Mom what ever she wants i will set my stuff aside to help her and always did over the years and espically now..
Put anything in front of me and i can figure it out..I like fixing stuff and seeing it work when i had no idea how to tackle the task at hand..Makes me feel kinda smart and also an ego booster..I love the challenge..

Thanks for reading..
s..

[stonewalldog]

Rustedrims-

I am sorry about your dad. I lost mine awhile back. Good for you for being there for your mom!

[rustedrims]

Rustedrims-

I am sorry about your dad. I lost mine awhile back. Good for you for being there for your mom!

Thanks for the kind words..I appreciate it..
My relationship with my dad was not good at all..My last conversation with him was loud and angry..My mind is busy trying to get past that day and it is tough..Thanks again..

s..

[~ocean]

(((( rusted )))) its a tough part of life .. I hope this is comforting to u , we never know when our demise is going to be .. everyday life ppl cry together , laugh, argue, we share so many emotions daily , esp w. ppl that r close to u . i'm positive the words that u 2 had were forgiven , now forgive urself. you didnt do anything wrong, no sense in feeling guilty for a common emotion esp . shared btwn parent and child. guilt can own u . u dont have to own the guilt ..

[rustedrims]

:rrose:Thank you very much for showing your concern..I appreciate it so much..I lost 3 people that day and it is real hard to get past.Crazy story.
I like comming here and reading..Gets my mind off things for a while..
Thank-you again..


s..

[dykeumentary]

The butch that I am.... sang a fabulous "Whenever, Where ever" by Shakira at karaoke tonight. With tambourine.

[SleepyButch]

I'm the kind of Butch who pulls out a chair, holds a door open and asks permission for a kiss on the first date. I am even the kind of Butch that will bring a little thing of chocolates just because you said you like them. I just love being Butch.

[laruss]

Bumping ;)

[skeeter_01]

I really don't know how to answer this except to say that the kind of butch I am is the kind of butch I am! LoL!! I discovered that I was stone about 20 years ago. I much prefer being stone it turns out! I made a list of my "attributes" a while back. I will cut and paste it to this post. :)


I KNOW how to treat a woman.
I open doors, I'm polite, I have good manners and I use proper grammar.
I wear my pants around my waist, not hanging under my butt.
I'm clean, I'm FUNNY, I love all dogs and most kids.
I love to laugh!
I'm a good cook and love to BBQ!
I have a dependable vehicle, work full time and I volunteer at the Humane Society.
I believe in God and I pray daily, usually many times a day.
I don't have a lot of friends but, the friends i do have are very, very important to me.
I do my best to find the positive in negative situations.
I'm not big on sports EXCEPT for college (and some professional) FOOTBALL and on most Saturday afternoons you'll find me glued to the TV screaming for U of M! GO BLUE!! :)
I don't smoke tobacco, or drink alcohol. I'm 420 friendly.
I'm dependable, friendly, kinda shy, honest, and have I mentioned that I love to laugh? :)

Yup! That pretty much sums me up! :)

[Mr Nice Guy]

I'm going to turn this around. What kind of Butch do you think I am? Sorry, couldn't help myself. ;)

[Beloved]

I'm going to turn this around. What kind of Butch do you think I am? Sorry, couldn't help myself. ;)

You are a romantic love muffin. Duh! :D

[Mr Nice Guy]

Thank you Beloved. That cracked me up. I like people with a sense of humor. Thank god I wasn't drinking anything. :)

[alexri]

I am myself...

I know how to treat a lady right and be there for her, without treating her like a damsel in distress. I know when to take charge and when to let her lead. I know when to top and when to let myself be topped (and I will enjoy it too). I know the little things matter, like cleaning the snow off her car before she has to go to work, doing the chores she hates the most, or making sure her favorite food or drink is always in the house. I know the big things matter too, like giving her the freedom and independence she would need while also making sure we have quality time together. I'm strong and protective, yet I also let myself be taken care of when I need it.

I am a warrior. I have to be. My whole life I have been put down, whether it's for the way I look, dress, act or express myself. I've been to hell and back and I'm still standing. I release my pressures in the gym or in a race.

I know what I do want, and what I don't want, and there are certain things I won't compromise on.

To me my body is just the vessel I was born in. I won't shy away from having my female organs pleased because it feels good and I am not to deny myself the pleasure of intimacy. But in my mind I'm visualizing things a little differently.

[Glenn]

I am a lifelong stone butch who is a beautiful balance of male/female, baby boi/ daddi, domn/sub, alpha and beta. I've never done fantasy role play. This is all very heavy karma I've take on to improve myself. There are femme's here who are more butch than I in their little finger lol, and most butches here look and act more masculine than I. If I was stranded in Hotel Iran, they'd never know I was a stone butch lol, I have'nt worn an article of stereotypical feminine clothes in 45 years. My exwife of over thirty years was also a rare bird who perfectly balanced me. She was femme, babygirl/momma, domina/sub, whore/madonna, alpha/beta, etc. lol! Seriously,everyone is different, and all that really matters through it all, is enjoying making sweet love to each other and giving each other uninterrupted peace of mind.

[jac]

The butch that I am is the butch she saw in me and accepted whole-heartedly. I am a female, a daughter, sister, mother, boobeh (grandmother), aunt, a friend… I dream and love and cherish deeply. I have passions, hopes and aspirations and I have the ability to make them come true and be successful at it. I am a fighter, a lover, a peace keeper. I am rough around the edges and firm in my beliefs. I am quiet and shy and I cry when my heart is touched. I respect others, have morals, live by integrity and I do what I can to make another person feel noticed. I defend the underdog, give up a seat to an elderly person, I help that single mom get her things gathered while she holds her child. I am moody, get irritable, lose my temper… I am human and I have emotions; good and not so good. I make mistakes. I do my best to right my wrongs. I have grown as a person over the years and I have grown as a butch. I am proud of the person I have become but by no means have I stopped working on that individual I strive to be. I play and have fun. I’m a kid at heart. I enjoy picnics, flying kites, blowing bubbles… I sing in the shower and at karaoke. I dance when my knees are forgiving and allow me to do so. I thoroughly enjoy supporting, pampering, complimenting and doing for my lover. I am a protector, her protector and I will always support her in whatever she believes in. I would never give up being the person that I am and I would not expect that from her either. I am a great hugger. A good lover. I am a dork at times. I am fierce. I am a hard worker. I am all gy. I am her gy. I have fears, I get scared but I am strong when I need to be. I give everything my all… to completion!

I am me. I am Stoney. I am Jack. I am hy… Yes I am butch!

[rocky 781]

I am quiet and shy but once I know you all bets are off. I am very old school and chivalry is not dead with me. I am a southern gentleman and romantic. I am domesticated in that I love to cook, bake, smoke meat, clean house, do laundry (because I have more clothes and shoes than most femmes) and good at fixing things. I am an activist politically and otherwise. I am strong in mind and body, I am a care giver, I am trusting until someone makes it clear they can't be trusted. I am slow to anger but I am a true Leo in every sense of the word. I have a dry and wacky sense of humor.I enjoy sports (go Redskins and Notre Dame) and a good cigar. But most of all I am her DADDY and to furbabies as well, her Top/Dom, I am her protector, her comforter, her best friend. I am the one she can come to vent and keeper of her secrets. I am her rock but most of all I her lover. :fastdraq: :fastdraq: :fastdraq: :fastdraq:

[clay]

the Butch I am

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Those 5 letters are just a "description of me...and in NO WAY makes who I am inside or in my heart!
I am a true southern gentlewomyn...with manners, courtesy, respect, and gentleness abounding.
I am of the old fashioned, old school breed...one who will open doors, pull out chairs, walk on outside of and offer arm to a lady, help her with her coat, even helping to get her hair out from under the collar and prettily displayed against her soft shoulders.
I will wait for her....patiently..never rushing her., as she gets dressed for our date. I will look at her with tears in my eyes when she emerges from her room...seeing how stunningly beautiful she looks!!!
I will shop with her for hours, carrying her parcels. I will rub her feet as we sit in the food court sipping an ice cold beverage while she regains her momentum to "shop til she drops" again!
I will order for her if I am acquainted with her likes and dislikes, OR if she tells me what she would want, and I will give the whole order.
I am attuned to her at all times.
I will always appreciate her...as she is an incredible gift...she has given of herself to me..and I can be entrusted with that awesome gift!
I "get", comprehend, and validate Her feminine mystique!
I wil always acknowledge her, validate her existence, and put her above all else.
I will watch chick flicks with her, wiping away tears at the sappy parts, and handing those same tears back to her as diamonds. I will be teary eyed and sensitive along with her.
I will cherish her like a true and priceless trasure she is.
I will never take her for granted!
I am a best friend...to many
I am a confidant, one that keeps those things sacred!
I will hold her sacred in all ways..sharing intimacy only between ourselves!
I will lay down my life for the woman I love and who owns my heart!
She will have my undying loyalty and committment should our hearts beat as one.
I will treat her like an equal, always..and we will walk side by side...never "owning" one another....yet connected by our hearts!
I can cook, clean, mow a lawn, fix a flat, iron a silk piece (steam it rather) mend a boo boo with a kiss and a bandaid, and I can fight fiercely for our lives. I have won many battles on the battlefield of life..and that is who I am today..a culmination of love past..love lost..and love remains a constant in my heart..never making me jaded, cynical, or bitter. I chose those pathways, and I walked them...I took lessons from them, and made changes from them..positive changes....
So I am many things....an incredibly devoted friend, a loyal companion, a soft hearted, sensitive, compassionate gentle womyn...and it is nye impossible to "describe" one's self..for in the end..what really matters is who you are when with another person...words are just descriptions..so I am a human being with an amazing heart and I have moral compass, and turpitude. I am old fashioned, and old schooled...as I will always, always put the ladies first..and when I meet HER..she will decide for herself what kind of a BUTCH I am..as she will see deeply inside and know my heart..that is where my "butch" lives.

[clay]

I am that butch who will wrap you inside my presence, affording you that warmth, security, sense of protection that you desire.
I am that butch who will leave you a single rose on your windshield just because...I wanted you to know I was thinking of you...
I am that butch who will get out of bed at 300am, drive to the store to get you that chocolate covered, creme filled doughnut and coffee...just because you wanted it..and come back and feed it to you...
I am that butch who will hold you when you are frightened, scare away monsters, and cover you, whispering to you til you fall asleep again...and watch over you while you sleep
I am that butch who will admire your fierceness and independence yet respect the babygrrl in you and your need for me....
I am that butch who will slay a thousand dragons, make you a s'mores by a campfire, who will run you a hot bath with candles and soft music, bathe you, pamper you, and kiss you all over...
I am that butch who will provide a shelter for you when you need it...with my big butchness...
I am that butch who will write you silly love letters in the sand...on the mirror with your lipstick, make you a peanut butter & jelly sandwich...to comfort you if need be...
I am that butch who will walk by your side..for life...when we are One Heart, One Love joined...
I am that butch who will seek comfort in your arms when my world is all jumbled and I am having a bad day
I am that butch who will seek your arms to hold me when I cry (Yes, butches do cry, too)
I am that butch who will hold you when you cry, grabbing your tears in my hands and handing them back to you as diamonds...
I am that butch who is mesmerized by you..each and every time..who will acknowledge, validate, and resonate within you....
I am that butch who knows and respects that a femme can bring me to my knees...with her feminine mystique, sensuality, and her mysteriousness
I am that butch who will never profess to knowing what makes my femme tick BUT I will damned respect that and be her all..in every way..
I am that butch....a hopeless romantic, passionate lover, devoted companion, and wait for you...here and now....

[SoSousMe]

I am a Texan Butch... Country through and through... but can hang with the best of the city Boys.
I hold doors open for the elderly, the disabled, the old, the young, men and women, whoever happens to be behind Me, or whoever just seems to need it.
My mother is My hero.
My son is My world.
My lady is My life.
I don't like being called Miss, or Ma'am... I am Sir, He, or Him, boy, not girl.
I was born in the wrong body.
I can shoot like nobody's business, or write poetry on a whim.
But, I treat a woman like a lady, and know when to hold My tongue.
I love to dance... country, hip hop, tejano, or waltz. And lead My lady around till she's dizzy and sweaty.
I can hang with My high school buds, head bangin' and BBQ'g on July 4th.
I can hang with the 20 somethings, and teach them a thing or two about respect, but show them this Old Dawg has some new tricks for them to learn.
I help My customers daily, and show them respect and offer them solutions.
I tell My momma I love her.
I say please, thank you, may I, and yes Sir and yes Ma'am.
I offer My seat to women and men.
I play with babies, and speak their language.
I take My hat off when I meet someone new, when I'm in church, when I pray, and when I eat.
I change My own oil, tires, and do My own laundry.
I cook My ass off, and love to see My family's faces when I've created a masterpiece.
My downfall is chocolate..... and... her eyes.
I don't tolerate discrimination in any form.
I don't do windows.
I do dishes though :)
I drive an old truck, and wait for the day that I can afford a new one, just to hear the engine roar.
I love her touch, her hands on My skin, the way she looks at Me, and when she says Amorcito to Me.
I can walk for miles, and not be tired.
I have remorse for every bad thing I have done.
I have hope that I will be forgiven.
I have little time on My hands.
I have a lifetime of love left in Me.

[Jean_TX]

This is an interesting thread. Rather than describe who I am and listing my strengths (I do have some!) and my foibles (I have lots of them!), I want to respond by describing the role that I attempt to fulfill in a relationship. I may not always succeed, but I do give it my most sincere and best effort.

I aspire to be the Butch...

…Who will sometimes walk behind you,
To allow you to pursue your own dreams, to give you space,
To let your light shine brightly without being blocked by my shadow,
To provide you with a safe retreat if needed.

...Who will sometimes walk ahead of you,
To protect you, to guide you when needed,
At other times, to follow my own dreams, find my own space.

…Who will mostly walk along side you,
To be your friend, lover, and partner,
To be connected, yet each of us retaining our individualities,
To help you, me, and “us” make it through the hard times,
To revel with you during the special times, to contentedly share all the ordinary moments,
To support you, honor you, and cherish you.

[chris1life]

Bumping this

I'm the kind of butch That confuse a lot of people. I'm strong physically and mentally yet I can be soft and vulnerable. I wear men's clothes but love a good sexy bra. I bind sometimes and sometimes I love the way my breast look in some shirts. I walk hard and have my own swagger and sometimes I shake my ass Because I know she is watching. I love short masculine hair but love mine shoulder length. Some times I pack and sometimes I don't. I love to be the top but have no problem being the bottom. I'm the bug killer but am terrified of mice. I'm sometimes hard and kick ass Then sometimes I'm soft. I know who I am and some times I confuse myself. I am a confident, strong, hard working, sometimes insecure beautiful/handsome butch woman. Ill take shit from people but not allow someone to disrespect the woman in my life. I don't fit in any box Because I've worked most of my life to get out of one. I'm just me

[Rockinonahigh]

I am called a stone butch,not a tag I put on myself but from others who say it's the one that fits.Sometimes it dose but most times not a chanch,I don't like labels cause they are very restricting.I'm a mother,daughter,grand daughter with a strong female line in my family.I'm a lover not a fighter unless it's nessary to bring out the sword and sheild...then whoever started this had best watch out.Most of the time I can just get along in this old world just fine
I wear mens clothes and have for years,I use to have some ladies things but over the years they never got worn cause I never needed to use them so I donated them to good will.I can be very out spoken or I can just sit and listen,I love to cook but also dont mind anyone else in my kitchen helpeing me whip up a meal.I collect lots if things and go to estste sales,garage sales and what have you,I love western art or mostanything horse related but also will pick up something else if it calls to me,I play a violin,electric guitar,a zyloharp aswell.Yep I do all sorts of stuff that I havent even posted hear.It keeps life intresting because witout something intresting to keep me chalenged I would be watching syfy more than I do.

[Loren_Q]

Hm, describe the butch I am...

I'm the kind where butch is an adjective, and loves the cis-female body I was born in.

Where I have my hairdresser use a number 4 clipper and wear knit boxer briefs. I'm the type that wears either Hawaiian or button down shirts at work.

That shaves her legs and armpits and sings show tunes while cooking dinner.

I pack when I'm in the mood and like eyeliner.

The kind that shouts "That's MR. Dyke to you" when asshats yell things from their car.


I'm the one who's been told "you're not that butch" and respond with a snort and raised eyebrow.

Where it's attitude, not size or profession or wardrobe. Where my butch energy makes me taller than the 5'2" I am.

The kind of person I am is the kind of butch I am.

Loren

[puddin']

i'm a queer boi muse...

and may i borrow: "i'm the kind where butch is an adjective, and loves the cis-female body i was born in."

[Loren_Q]

i'm a queer boi muse...

and may i borrow: "i'm the kind where butch is an adjective, and loves the cis-female body i was born in."

By all means.

[Tuff Stuff]

Describe the butch I am? For me it's the body i was born in,the energy,the spirit,the soul,stop me if you heard this one before,the attraction I feel for all things femme or anything super feminine.I get it that i'm masculine looking and all that and have been mistaken for a man a thousand times but I don't see myself as a man.I don't even see myself as gay or lesbian.I tell others that we are a 'straight' couple but to no avail.Even other couples in our own community don't think its possible for us to be seen as a straight couple.So i have given up trying to describe myself as a straight butch woman.She gets it and that's all that matters to me.

[wahya]

I am a protector. I think that is instilled in me due to having a daughter & two grand kids.

[JrzyButch]

For me, I 'am kinda layed back with a dry sense of humor....also, goodhearted...compassionate & sensitive, these traits I inherited from my mom who is also a good person...God bless her..
I am the type, If Iam in a relationship with someone,,and I am passing a card store, or gift shop... Ill stop in and buy a card, or a trinket for her, cuz I was thinking bout her..or just for the hellva it...that's just me, old fashion hopeless romantic...
I don't do it cuz I want it back in return...I do it cuz It's coming from my heart..
I am not at all a material person...that I dislike very much ..material people...'
when I date someone who is very close to my heart...she is going to know how important she is in my life...

That sums it up for me..:)

[o'queery]

love this thread <3

[okieblu]

I'd really like to respond, talk about the kind of butch I am, but I dont think now is probably a good time.