The Fat Positive Lounge

[Leigh]

I am a lurker in this thread. I'm not considered fat, but like many women I just have body image issues. And this thread for me is more than just embracing the fact that you are fat and that there is nothing wrong with it. To me it inspires me to accept and embrace my own body, with it's many "flaws" whatever they may be. So thank you to all of you confident BBW.


Welcome to the thread Beloved,

I truly don't think that this is just for celebrating people of size, but celebrating people as a whole. Far too often our society places beauty in the context of size, making alot of us think that being skinny/slim etc is the key to being beautiful ~ of course the rest of us know better, but when we are inundated with images of thin women and people believe that those pics are the end all be all of beauty it gets frustrating. Its about time that society begin to embrace all of its imperfections ~ if God wanted us all to be skinny then he'd have made us that way, but he didn't so I believe that we are all who we are for a very good reason ........... lets all remember to embrace ourselves, love ourselves however we look and know that we are worth being valued as human beings (f)

[nycfem]

Wow, LWF, this was great! I would love to do roly poly kissagrams :)

f6ax8kTZ-WE

[LeftWriteFemme]

Wow, LWF, this was great! I would love to do roly poly kissagrams :)


I am sure you would be great at it!



XRAsq_J9Nxg

[nycfem]

Love the main woman in this segment!

Fat Acceptance Part 1 - YouTube

[nycfem]

Love all the confidence, energy, and fun in this. It's all about not putting life on hold and learning to love oneself!

Fox 11 Special Report: Done with Dieting - YouTube

[LeftWriteFemme]

KL0dUyNFX74

[nycfem]

Love this, LWF! OutKast sings another favorite mine: Ms. Jackson (can never get the tune out of my head!)

KL0dUyNFX74

[nycfem]

Feminism, weight, and the Olympics!

http://sports.yahoo.com/news/fat-fit-over-women-athletes-193539328--spt.html;_ylc=X3oDMTNua2NlaGpxBF9TAzIxNDYyNTIxMjkE YWN0A21haWxfY2IEY3QDYQRpbnRsA3VzBGxhbmcDZW4tVVMEcG tnA2EyZjY2M2QxLTEwMGUtM2UwYS1hZGEyLWE0NTRkYWFmZTUz ZgRzZWMDbWl0X3NoYXJlBHNsawNtYWlsBHRlc3QD;_ylv=3

[Licious]

Congrats Tia!

I had hurt my shoulder so I was mostly offline for a while.

I am back! :)

Thank you all so much. I am still trying to learn to love my size and feel sexy in this body, it's hard for me.

I appreciate you all.. and you all inspire me. Bless you.

Am watching the youtubes. *waves to everyone*

[sharonsuburbia]

can a thinnish feme plop down here? :byebye:

[nycfem]

Totally! All sizes welcome here!
Nice to see ya :)

can a thinnish feme plop down here? :byebye:

[*Anya*]

KL0dUyNFX74

One of my all-time favorites and on my "walking" playlist.

Thanks for showing the vid! It adds a lot to the song:)

[Soft*Silver]

I am hosting a Spice of Life party for my customers at my store.

I have 35 people signed up and most are bringing friends.

My financial mentors at the university and BVR were shocked at first that I was throwing this party.

I was shocked they didnt get it.

I looked right back at them, with my own shocked face, and asked them
"What, fat women cant be sexy? We arent sensual? Don't you think this goes along with the mission of my store? That stereotypes abound and this is one of them?"

I am amazed I just have 35 signed up....lol

[Soft*Silver]

so tonight was the Spice of Life party at my Pretty & Plus Store.We had about 20 people there, all plus size ladies. Some had never been to one of these and it showed. They were nervous at first. But as we cackled and roared, a magnificent ladies of pleasure, the virgins eased into it and became One with us!

I looked around the room while we were laughing loudly, and smiled. Women of ample size, glorying in their sensuality, enjoying the company of other women who were unashamed of how they looked.

During snacks, this was actually brought up. One said she had gone to a party like this before, but felt very uncomfortable in a group of mostly very thin, very young ladies. Even tho she herself was young too, she felt she couldnt compete sexually with thin women. A GREAT discussion followed, with women sharing their stories, past and present. Our demonstrator was very young, and also plus, and she listened aptly.

I got squeals when I asked if the glass penis with the wide base could be used in a strap on. It cant. The wide base isnt what I was thinking it would be. I did get one of their glass ones, and cant wait to get it to use!

I love love love the magic that is happening...one lady cried at the end,as we were all parting. She said a year ago, she was truly agoraphobic and no one could get her to leave her house. She said, "look at me now! I'm at a sex toy party and not afraid!"

Sometimes my life is really small and I feel like I am not part of the bigger world. And then something like this happens and I feel like my world couldnt get much bigger....

[nycfem]

Miss Tia, your stories are a delight to share in, thanks so much!

[sharonsuburbia]

Totally! All sizes welcome here!
Nice to see ya :)

nice to ee you too - :rrose:

[LeftWriteFemme]

Js5fBq0w7j0

[nycfem]

"Telling fat people they ought to be thin is about as helpful as telling gay people they should be straight"
article by PAUL CAMPOS below (love him!):

http://www.salon.com/writer/paul_campos/

[SaltyButch]

So here's a question is this thread for femme's only or can a stocky butch be part of it also, I think some have come to believe that butch's don't have the same insecurities that femme's do in regards to weight.

I have struggled with my weight all my life, and tried and tried to maintain my athletic body to no avail, and now just try to keep a healthy weight. The thing is that for years I thought that women wanted those fine toned athletic bodies and wouldn't give me the time of day, nevermind want me sexually, or so it seemed.

It wasn't until I actually met some women who were ecstatic that I wasn't a slim Jim and embraced my voluptuousness and in doing so made me feel more comfortable about me.

I say all this only to acknowledge and support this thread in letting people know that although we may not be society's "norm"...what we look like is the norm for us and we are dang proud of it. I find BBW women some of the most confident and sexiest women around, and some would be surprised at how agile some BBW women can be...I know I was...."w".

Thank you for this thread and enlightening the masses.

[nycfem]

SaltyButch, butches are more than welcome on this thread! And whether someone is fat, thin, or somewhere in the middle, everyone is welcome. Your post was right on point. I appreciate what you have to say very much.

I understand what you have to say about worrying about meeting others' expectations in the dating world. That's why I but "bbw" in my name. At the time I was single, and I wanted whomever might be interested in dating to know right away that if they wanted someone thin they were barking up the wrong tree :D

So here's a question is this thread for femme's only or can a stocky butch be part of it also, I think some have come to believe that butch's don't have the same insecurities that femme's do in regards to weight.

I have struggled with my weight all my life, and tried and tried to maintain my athletic body to no avail, and now just try to keep a healthy weight. The thing is that for years I thought that women wanted those fine toned athletic bodies and wouldn't give me the time of day, nevermind want me sexually, or so it seemed.

It wasn't until I actually met some women who were ecstatic that I wasn't a slim Jim and embraced my voluptuousness and in doing so made me feel more comfortable about me.

I say all this only to acknowledge and support this thread in letting people know that although we may not be society's "norm"...what we look like is the norm for us and we are dang proud of it. I find BBW women some of the most confident and sexiest women around, and some would be surprised at how agile some BBW women can be...I know I was...."w".

Thank you for this thread and enlightening the masses.

[SaltyButch]

Marisa, I understand your point, my reference to "healthy" is what I deem healthy for me, I have long given up trying to appease others in that regard and live solely by the opinion that truly matters...Mine.

[nycfem]

I agree about binary thinking. People can be fat positive AND health positive. They don't need to oppose each other, same as we wouldn't say "pretty but fat." Some people believe that dieting, most of which involves yo-yoing, is actually very unhealthy for the body. I also want to add that people on diets are welcome to be on this thread. It's not about saying, "You have to take this position." It's just about providing a space that explores a different perspective and offers a reprieve from pro diet talk. I feel healthiest when i am not obsessing about the numbers on a scale or worrying over everything I eat. I treat my body most kindly when I am not constantly obsessing about it, as we are taught to do in a patriarchal culture. First and foremost to me, fat is a feminist issue.

[nycfem]

Hope everyone's having a great weekend! And remember:
Like anything referred to as "Muffin Top" could ever be a bad thing! :)

http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff171/Jenkemtime/bbw.png

[lettertodaddy]

This year life threw me a bit of a curve health-wise. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (on top of the osteoarthritis I already have), and it seems the RA may be to blame for nearly closing off one of the carotid arteries in my neck, which makes my blood pressure skyrocket. As a result, I signed up for Weight Watchers again about 10 days ago, just to try to ease my joints and to help my blood pressure go back to normal.

I'm conflicted because I've been fat my whole life, and I've always considered myself a fat positive person, yet here I am giving money to the diet industry. I feel dirty, like I'm betraying fat positive politics even when I know taking off 10% of my body weight will make a tremendous difference to the pain I experience.

Have any of you ever gone through that? Having to lose weight for physical reasons (I can't bring myself to say for 'health' reasons) and feeling bad about it?

[nycfem]

First of all, I love that song in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane! :)

On a serious note, about your post, I certainly can relate to what you are saying. While I've not done Weight Watchers, I consider it one of the safer programs around. I think using a program like WW and losing 1-2 pounds per week is generally thought to be the safer way to go when it comes to dieting. Well, WW calls it a "lifestyle change," but I think we can safely say that if one is counting points, one is dieting! :D. I think a 10% weight loss sounds like a very reasonable goal. I appreciate your honesty in your conflicting feelings.

One reason I started this thread was because I was so disturbed by hearing people describe very low calorie diets (e.g. 500-800 calories a day, as well as injecting pregnancy hormones) as healthy. I believe that rarely contributes to long term weight loss or to health in general. I believe that in the long run such programs generally lead to malnutrition and a host of other medical problems. I also rarely believe that diet pills and weight loss surgery, particularly the more invasive permanent types, are healthy. I also am wary of people online congratulating one another for losing weight. We really don't know if they are bulimic or anorexic, and I think it's particularly scary when people lose a lot of weight in a short period of time. That can contribute to many health problems and also have the long term (e.g. five year) side effect of significant weight gain. If someone is more active and is eating healthier and that is what they want, great, but let's not automatically assume someone's weight loss is a healthy thing. As women, we are taught to assume that, but as a feminist I questioned it and came out strongly as believing that someone's weight does not always correspond to someone's health. I believe that one's health is much better served by considering the big picture of one's life, not just the numbers on the scale.

I think it's very possible to be fat positive and also lose a little weight at a healthy pace. I believe in Health at Every Size (HAES), and what this means to me is that one doesn't use "weight loss" as a proxy for health. Instead, if one seeks a healthy mind, body, and soul, one does healthy things for oneself, in the area of exercise, eating, and being kind to oneself. Part of being kind to myself was to start this thread, a place where people can celebrate themselves and love themselves where they are now, regardless of whether they are working on new health goals or not. I do not believe thin equals healthy any more than I believe that fat equals unhealthy. I believe that it's all very individual.

Thank you for posting. Sometimes I get a little lonely in here :byebye:

This year life threw me a bit of a curve health-wise. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (on top of the osteoarthritis I already have), and it seems the RA may be to blame for nearly closing off one of the carotid arteries in my neck, which makes my blood pressure skyrocket. As a result, I signed up for Weight Watchers again about 10 days ago, just to try to ease my joints and to help my blood pressure go back to normal.

I'm conflicted because I've been fat my whole life, and I've always considered myself a fat positive person, yet here I am giving money to the diet industry. I feel dirty, like I'm betraying fat positive politics even when I know taking off 10% of my body weight will make a tremendous difference to the pain I experience.

Have any of you ever gone through that? Having to lose weight for physical reasons (I can't bring myself to say for 'health' reasons) and feeling bad about it?

[LeftWriteFemme]

Hey, has this been posted in here yet?


http://www.dominodollhouse.com/index.php?dispatch=categories.view&category_id=1

[nycfem]

I went shopping at the Plus size section of Forever 21. Big thumbs down imo. They're highest size is a 3X and seems equivalent to a size 22. That's quite small for a "3X." That should not be highest size in plus size imo!

I love looking at real Plus Size women in fashion online but am wary to buy clothes online. i think the fit is so important. I guess I'm picky! But I love looking!

[lettertodaddy]

I want to love Domino Dollhouse, but I think I'm just too old for their clothing. There's nothing there I could wear to work, and I'm not the type to wear those items for play. I wish I was, though. I know lots of people who love their clothes!

[BBinNYC]

I feel neglectful in not posting here sooner because I think this thread is important for so many reasons.

First, it's a safe space for fat BFP folks to discuss body issues and health without judgment and condemnation.

Second, it correctly points out how dieting and weight loss is used in our culture to attack women and hurt their self-esteem--AKA Fat is a Feminist Issue!

Third, it separates the often tangled threads of weight, dieting, exercise, healthy eating and other health issues.

It is very important for people to work on their health needs, whether that's more physical activity or getting chemicals out of our food and drinks. One thing I've done is to eliminate any artificial sweeteners from my diet because I think they have an adverse affect on my health. I have a "harm reduction" attitude toward meat, only eating it at restaurants or parties, but not at home for the most part. I also try as much as possible to eat whole grains.

None of this is about weight.

To be fat positive doesn't mean one never wants to lose weight or isn't trying to do so. It means that one is striving to be healthy in whatever way makes sense given our individual health needs and issues.

I hope BFP becomes more fat accepting and sees that as part of the feminist politics that are so importantly expressed in many other areas of the site. It would be sad to see folks here caving into patriarchal values on this topic while insisting on feminist perspectives everywhere else.

BBinNYC

[Soft*Silver]

being fat positive doesnt mean we cant make decisions to live longer and healthier. I have customers who come into my store every day who are in TOPS, Weight Watchers and have undergone bariatric surgery. The love that I love who they are RIGHT NOW. I dont care what size or number they are. What I want for them, is to make good choices about everything in their life. If they are ok at a size 26, then I support them. If their blood pressure go sky rocketing or they develop diabetes and need to diet, I support them. If they want to throw their food up to lose weight, no, I dont support this but I support THEM and will help them find healthier alternatives if their need is to lose weight but I will insist that they are ok as person no matter what numbers accompany them NOW.

My shop is doing very well. I have been so busy with the shop, and the house that I have not had time for much threading. My life has changed because of this shop. My customers fill my life. When I look back just a year ago, I am amazed at the huge impact this shop has made in my life.

[Soft*Silver]

I met the most wonderful woman today at my shop. She was in her late 70s. I have seating arrangements in the front and back of my store for people to rest and socialize. I was sitting at the front one, and she came to join me. She was some kind of whippersnapper, for sure! LOL. She was asking me about my tattoos and told me she was planning on getting one. Her children didnt want her to, but (as she pointed to her five earrings in one ear) she said they didnt want her to pierce her ears either but she did anyway. We sat for quite some time and this rebel amused me. I told her I wanted to be just like her in a few years. She smiled that inward amazon kinda smile and winked at me.

Its amazing how transformed I am day by day...

[PearlsNLace]

I decided to drop weight watchers. I allready know what I need to do with my food, Im done (just for today) for feeling guilty about not writing it down, for any ounce of guilt over what I eat. The adverage weight loss for a WW memeber is 12 pounds a year. Seriously. I am done with paying 600 a year with the likelyhood that I will loose 12 pounds.
Today Im tired of the weight of the GUILT over what Im not doing, or am doing, in order to get more social milage out of my body.
I quit the gym I dont go to as well. Thats another savings of 550 a year.

Maybe I will buy a kayack or some other thing I actually enjoy with that money next year. Hopefully it wont be on some gimmick to help me lie to myself that I am making changes.
I either am, or am not. Every single damn day. And right now I dont need a group membership to know it.

Funny, when I looked at a recent picture, full body one, from last weekend I thought DAMN I look GOOD! And I am almost the heaviest I have ever been, yet I feel better than I have in a long time.

I know that there are many many people who feel that gyms and WW have made all the difference in the world for them, and Im so happy they have that.

For right now, I am not buying or drinking the Koolaide cause its just leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

Just for today Im keeping it simple, and letting the guilt go. It may not mean I lose much weight, but I sure as heck feel lighter.

Love the thread!

[Tcountry]

I tried to read all before posting...but got lost in there somewhere...
so what the heck ...
Hi...I'm T...I am a fat-aholic..I think big cuddly squishy hugs are the best in the world !!

Yes I am doin an exercise challenge currently...not to lose weight ...my goal is to play on the company softball team again this next summer...& not feel like I want to pass
out after running the bases...lol

Not that political, but thanks for the thread glad to have read & keep reading the pages


*tip hat*

[SingularNYCFemme]

Hi, the above post made me think I should introduce myself since I've subscribed to this thread and just reading a portion of the posts here has done me a lot of good!

I want to love my body as it is (large, with plenty of squish and cuddle) and not sit waiting for some fictional day when I will have some other type of body. This is the body I have, and I want to own it and love it and take care of it as best I can.

Thank you so much for being here!

[Soft*Silver]

I am thrilled to see posts coming in about loving ourselves no matter what numbers we own. Age, poundage, dress size, etc. does not equal self worth.

Pearls, I also applaud your idea of getting a kayak with your money rather than spend it on the skinny industry. Spend it on something you have a passion for, to make you active.

[Leigh]

I, too, love this thread ~ SO much positivity coming from everyone here, I just LOVE the love that is in here from absolutely everyone :)

[Tcountry]

So I was reading this thread at work and thinking this whole time I have this cool book at home that I bought like 10 yrs ago...
SOoooo I had to find it as soon as I got home.
I haven't clicked on all the links, so don't know if someone posted it or not, but ... it is:
Lesbian Sacred Sexuality
by Diane Mariechild & Marcelina Martin

It is stories, and poems, and pictures

IT is passionate and beautiful. And the women are of all body types and it is a sexy book!
Anyway...I was thinking about it all night and had to share.

[lettertodaddy]

This may be a sensitive/triggering topic for some of you, and if it is, I apologize in advance.

How many of you have spent most of your lives trying to run away from the "slutty fat girl" stereotype? I know I have.

I've had partners - mostly male, but some female too - who only hit me up because they were under the assumption that because I'm fat, that I'm easier to get into bed. To counter that, I became rigid about my body and relationship boundaries, and convinced myself somewhere along the way that I only did real relationships, not one-two-or three night stands.

Now that I'm a little older and a little wiser, and now that I'm finding my relationship prospects dimming as I get older, I'm starting to challenge my beliefs. I think mutual fun sexytimes are beneficial to the people involved, regardless of how long those times last. I'm at the point in my life where if a relationship came along, great, but I don't want to block a sweet, good time if she sweeps me off my feet!

What about you? What sort of negative ideas around fat and sexuality are you holding on to and how are you letting them go?

[nycfem]

This may be controversial too but I don't like the idea that it's creepy for certain people to prefer fat girls. Why can't that be sexy and even feminist to have a preference that's outside of the patriarchal mainstream? I'm tired of it being thought of as perverse, creepy, nerdy, sick, objectifying, and "just as bad." Similarly, I use the title "BBW," and I know a lot of people apply the same descriptions to that term. However, I take it for what it is, a big beautiful woman. To me it conveys that I'm big while also conveying that I'm a confident woman, one who aims to embrace my body. I think that when people are more attracted to fat bodies that it usually comes from one's unconscious psychological life experience all the way back from childhood (Disclaimer: I'm a therapist.). Black men are much more accepting/attracted to my body, and I wonder is it because they have mamas they love who are big and confident too. I like to go to Craigslist and put in a search for "BBW" in the title (must be in the title, because if it's the whole ad, it will be because of a "no BBWs" clause written at the end of the ad). I like to read the descriptions of people craving a fat woman for a relationship or sex or whatever. It's sexy to me, and I don't think I have to feel that I'm gross for feeling that way.

[Spirit Dancer]

LTD
One thing comes to mind, what about the fat girl who others
think will always be the filler friend with nothing better to do.
Assuming they have no commitments or engagements and are always there for them.

[Kätzchen]

I really like what BB and BBW and others here are promoting and that's the idea that we can be positively healthy in the ideas we hold about what the term Fat means and to borrow the term BB used: not cave into social stereotypes built around what it means to be fat.

I really like how Spirit Dancer brought up the idea that often people who are fat are not valued in our culture and society and that people seem to trend toward the idea that people who are fat have no life, no romantic prospects in their past, present or future. And, I also like what BBW said about how creepy it is that being fat is not throught of in terms of being a feminist stance or sheer sexiness.

I've lost a considerable amount of weight over the past six months, due to a very hectic on-the-run job I used to have, which demanded that I keep running even when I didn't feel like I could run another step of the way.

Does that mean I'm skinny, since I lost that much weight? No.

I'm built like a tank: In other words, no matter how weight I might like to lose, I will always appear on the larger side of the weight spectrum just because of my height (I am nearly 5' 10" -barefoot) and because of the density of my bone structure, which is pervasively German: with a twist of this and that elsewhere. :)

I felt sexy when I was 60 pounds heavier, but I still rock this body of mine even though I'm sixty pounds lighter. I like it when individuals in our community can come together with a feminist attitude and feel super about who we are - not matter what we look like or how heavy we are.

Sending big love to all of you,
:stillheart:

[lettertodaddy]

Right, I see where you're coming from nycfembbw, but I'm not talking about preferences. I'm talking about the kind of people who don't want to date you in daylight, who deny they know you if they see you out while they're with their friends, who make cutting, negative comments about fat women in public, but who ask you for your number when nobody else is looking.

I hope with all my might that I can find a butch in this town that prefers my larger body, but until that happens, I'll just keep wishing. :)

[lettertodaddy]

LTD
One thing comes to mind, what about the fat girl who others
think will always be the filler friend with nothing better to do.
Assuming they have no commitments or engagements and are always there for them.

Yes, I've been there too. Less so now that most of my friends are partnered/coupled, but I've had it happen. I'm usually happy to see my friends regardless of their motivations, but this does sting a little.

[Tcountry]

"...this was a woman who loved my body. I never really loved my body. I was comfortable with it. I knew where all its parts were and that it was functional. But I was always somewhat overweight. I never thought I was pretty, and to this day, you know, eight hundred people can say you're gorgeous and you're never going to believe it. But here was a woman who, when she touched me, trembled, and god-- the world opened up...." pg 262


The book is The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader Edited by Joan Nestle...I actually have sticky tabs marking my favorite lines/paragraphs/pages.

*tip hat*

[Leigh]

I had someone share something on my facebook and I had to share it because I absolutely LOVE it:

The words *I am fat* is crossed out with a big red line through it and next it says "No, i am not.I just have fat. My weight does not define me. Neither does yours define you".

THAT is absolutely true!

[Spirit Dancer]

“I’ve always thought of fat as just a descriptive word.”
- Camryn Manheim

“If nature had intended for our skeletons to be visible it would have put them on the outside of our bodies.”
- Elmer Rice

[lettertodaddy]

I had so many passages marked in my copy of this book. I just hate I lost it during a move. :(

[nycfem]

I totally get what you are saying, lettertodaddy and agree with you. My post wasn't in response to what you posted about the "slutty" fat girl. It was in response to your question at the end of your post:

"What about you? What sort of negative ideas around fat and sexuality are you holding on to and how are you letting them go?"

Right, I see where you're coming from nycfembbw, but I'm not talking about preferences. I'm talking about the kind of people who don't want to date you in daylight, who deny they know you if they see you out while they're with their friends, who make cutting, negative comments about fat women in public, but who ask you for your number when nobody else is looking.

I hope with all my might that I can find a butch in this town that prefers my larger body, but until that happens, I'll just keep wishing. :)

[Tcountry]

In response to the "slutty" fat girl comments.
Question ...is it actually because fat girls are perceived as "slutty" or is the perception that she must have a low self-esteem & therefore going home with whomever is better than going home alone ..?
I experienced the latter Fri night. This newly divorced lady with not great self-esteem almost went home alone with this guy she didn't kno anything about just because he wanted her to.
& she admitted that she would have & regretted it later.
But instead she had about a 3 hr chitchat with a new friend we watched the sun come up.

So is it the "slutty" perception or the lower self-esteem that makes her an "easy target"?

[Spirit Dancer]

In response to the "slutty" fat girl comments.
Question ...is it actually because fat girls are perceived as "slutty" or is the perception that she must have a low self-esteem & therefore going home with whomever is better than going home alone ..?
I experienced the latter Fri night. This newly divorced lady with not great self-esteem almost went home alone with this guy she didn't kno anything about just because he wanted her to.
& she admitted that she would have & regretted it later.
But instead she had about a 3 hr chitchat with a new friend we watched the sun come up.

So is it the "slutty" perception or the lower self-esteem that makes her an "easy target"?

From my space, I do believe there's a stigmata placed by "some" people that FAT equates LOW self esteem. Which in turn could lead those to perceive Fat women are easy targets.

Here's the thing not every woman fits into one mold we all come in different shapes and sizes, and no matter what there can be a self esteem issues. Which in itself can make any women an easy target, when I was younger there was a self esteem issue and once again several years ago I allowed someone to create that icky feeling of FAT=low self esteem, but now when I look back and get that icky feeling I slap Queens of comedy into the DVD hit the FF>>>>button to Sommore and i'm reminded that women of all shapes
and sizes are beautiful.
/Pn8BlRjYfH8

[Canela]

From my space, I do believe there's a stigmata placed by "some" people that FAT equates LOW self esteem. Which in turn could lead those to perceive Fat women are easy targets.

Here's the thing not every woman fits into one mold we all come in different shapes and sizes, and no matter what there can be a self esteem issues. Which in itself can make any women an easy target, when I was younger there was a self esteem issue and once again several years ago I allowed someone to create that icky feeling of FAT=low self esteem, but now when I look back and get that icky feeling I slap Queens of comedy into the DVD hit the FF>>>>button to Sommore and i'm reminded that women of all shapes
and sizes are beautiful.
/Pn8BlRjYfH8




Somebody done messed up and let me get to know these big beautiful women from the Queens of Comedy years ago...and in that came another huge confidence boost.

Now I like that "kshuh kshuh" from the hoola hoop...I saw this a long time ago...and I took it in and honey I ain't never been the same since....

Mo'nique has the right idea when she said, "honey, I am big beautiful and loving it".

That's me...I don't need to be a size 4 to feel sexy and beautiful...trust me, at this size 18 I can still rock that...and him. I choose to be who I am because it suits me....I like that I am not embarrassed anymore because I am still beautiful and smart and sexy as heck...does my weight really make me less than? Uh, no...that just doesn't compute.

Come on now...plus size doesn't mean less honey, it means more. More of everything...more love, more woman, more confidence, more heart, more mind, more compassion, more kindness, more caring, more, more, more...we've learned the hard lessons of reality and turned them inside out to grow ourselves in the strength and overcomer's department.

Life hasn't been easy, but we have learned from it, especially the discrimination of being a BBW. Not one of the exes I have ever had after I gained my weight ever, ever, ever had a problem with my size...once when I asked one former lover I was almost yelled at (he was offended as if I did something wrong)...he said", babygirl, have I ever made you feel anything less than beautiful, sexy and loved?" I had to admit that no, he had not.

So ladies, take it like you like it, but I took my ex's words and never looked back.
He thought I was hot and sexy...
I thought I was hot and sexy....
I know I am a good woman and there is a good butch/TG/Ftm man out there that will love us just as we are.
If not--it's their loss.

I had a very sweet man tell me just recently, "I see you. You're beauty goes much deeper than what's on the surface. You're pretty from the inside out. This is unique. I can't help but notice."

I love being me. I am a B.B.T.W. (Big Beautiful Texican Woman) and I don't make excuses for it. Love me or don't. I'm not the one missing out!

Receive that for yourselves my sisters and never let anyone tell you who or what you are. You're beautiful.

[Canela]

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou

[Canela]

One of my friends shared this with me & I LOVE it:

When you’re a plus size woman, people like to say “yeah, she’s cute in the face”, as if being full figured is such a disgrace.


Honey, I’m cute in the face, and I’m thick in the waist.
I look good whether I’m in cotton, leather, or lace.
I’m beautiful, vibrant and above all, smart!
And there’s more to me than my weight, I also have a heart.
Yes my clothes maybe a bigger size,
That just means you have access to a bigger prize.
We are not self-conscious about our weight,
And we never have a problem getting a date.
So don’t think your small frame gives you more pull,
I’m a hot, sexy, curvy woman with a figure that’s full!

***

All women can't be a size zero
Not even on a high profile Fashion Show.
Ladies can be a small or big size
& Still look pleasing to the eyes
Can I hear an "Amen" Guys, you should know.

[Canela]

SELF-PORTRAIT II

Questing, a woman dares to reinvent herself.

—Dana Heller, The Feminization of Quest Romance

No more teacher clothes.
I want chamois shirts
and shorts with pockets I’ll need
for a trek in the Himalayas.
I want a tutu and overalls for my
new career as a ballerina electrician,
a carpenter’s apron and power tools
so I can work on Habitat for Humanity
and build my writing studio.

No more timidity, no cringing.
I can say “no” with grace
and my opinion about anything.
I don’t need your approval
and I won’t shrivel when you yell
or weep. I have limits, you know.
I will learn to climb sheer rocks,
fly a helicopter, handle bees
and embrace every dragon I meet.

[Canela]

WHAT SHE WANTS

Inside
is the little girl
from not that long ago.



What does she want?
She wants what she always wanted:
to be taken seriously.



Outside there’s a woman round
as an over-ripe plum. People point,
their voices cruel, jesting.



What does she want?
What she’s always wanted:
to be taken seriously.



CB FOLLETT

[Kätzchen]

re: the proposition that possibly individuals who present fat are percieved as being less than they are and thus, seen as having less than desireable self esteem, etc.

I think the better way to address things of this nature is to call out that particular thinking process and let the owner of that particular perception bear the full weight of their own biases. Why do I advocate that position? I think it is necessary to challenge biases of this nature and let the owner who dares to propel that kind of ideology do the work it takes to dial back their own biases, so that particular social narrative is called to a halt.

It's important to not cave into false construction of ideas that places the burden on the person being victimized for their own beauty and, who no doubt, deserves positive strokes about who they are and not what people think they look like or thought of as having less than desireable self esteem, etc.

I say call it out. Put a stop to it. Don't cave into social processes that do nothing positive for the person who is beautiful in their own right.

[Spirit Dancer]

/yDSK91mUNLU

[Leigh]

Somebody done messed up and let me get to know these big beautiful women from the Queens of Comedy years ago...and in that came another huge confidence boost.

Now I like that "kshuh kshuh" from the hoola hoop...I saw this a long time ago...and I took it in and honey I ain't never been the same since....

Mo'nique has the right idea when she said, "honey, I am big beautiful and loving it".

That's me...I don't need to be a size 4 to feel sexy and beautiful...trust me, at this size 18 I can still rock that...and him. I choose to be who I am because it suits me....I like that I am not embarrassed anymore because I am still beautiful and smart and sexy as heck...does my weight really make me less than? Uh, no...that just doesn't compute.

Come on now...plus size doesn't mean less honey, it means more. More of everything...more love, more woman, more confidence, more heart, more mind, more compassion, more kindness, more caring, more, more, more...we've learned the hard lessons of reality and turned them inside out to grow ourselves in the strength and overcomer's department.

Life hasn't been easy, but we have learned from it, especially the discrimination of being a BBW. Not one of the exes I have ever had after I gained my weight ever, ever, ever had a problem with my size...once when I asked one former lover I was almost yelled at (he was offended as if I did something wrong)...he said", babygirl, have I ever made you feel anything less than beautiful, sexy and loved?" I had to admit that no, he had not.

So ladies, take it like you like it, but I took my ex's words and never looked back.
He thought I was hot and sexy...
I thought I was hot and sexy....
I know I am a good woman and there is a good butch/TG/Ftm man out there that will love us just as we are.
If not--it's their loss.

I had a very sweet man tell me just recently, "I see you. You're beauty goes much deeper than what's on the surface. You're pretty from the inside out. This is unique. I can't help but notice."

I love being me. I am a B.B.T.W. (Big Beautiful Texican Woman) and I don't make excuses for it. Love me or don't. I'm not the one missing out!

Receive that for yourselves my sisters and never let anyone tell you who or what you are. You're beautiful.



WOW, now THIS is exactly what I needed to hear today ~ thank you thank you thank you for posting this :D

[Spirit Dancer]

/6IDoHqxCA6I


/lT5BhqxdCBI

[Spirit Dancer]

/ct8z2peGh5Q
She is right on target with her opinion.

[lettertodaddy]

So is it the "slutty" perception or the lower self-esteem that makes her an "easy target"?

I think this is a large part of it. I think another big part of it is that a fat woman should be happy to get any sexual attention, even negative sexual attention. I can't tell you how many times guys have tried to chat me up only to have them call me a "fat ugly bitch" in the next breath when I turn them down. I'm happy no women have ever done this to my knowledge.

[SingularNYCFemme]

I think this is a large part of it. I think another big part of it is that a fat woman should be happy to get any sexual attention, even negative sexual attention. I can't tell you how many times guys have tried to chat me up only to have them call me a "fat ugly bitch" in the next breath when I turn them down. I'm happy no women have ever done this to my knowledge.

I don't believe I've ever encountered a woman with this point of view; if some have, they haven't indicated it in their behavior toward me. I could go on for a bit on this topic, but I'm sleepy and up past my bedtime. I'm glad we're here to support our fabulous sexy selves.

[Spirit Dancer]

“In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and chains.
Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale.”
- Stephen Phillips

[Spirit Dancer]

“If I had been around when Rubens was painting,
I would have been revered as a fabulous model.”
- Dawn French


http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/bouquetforasiren/Rubens_venus_mirror.jpg

[Kätzchen]

re: the proposition that possibly individuals who present fat are percieved as being less than they are and thus, seen as having less than desireable self esteem, etc.

I think the better way to address things of this nature is to call out that particular thinking process and let the owner of that particular perception bear the full weight of their own biases. Why do I advocate that position? I think it is necessary to challenge biases of this nature and let the owner who dares to propel that kind of ideology do the work it takes to dial back their own biases, so that particular social narrative is called to a halt.

It's important to not cave into false construction of ideas that places the burden on the person being victimized for their own beauty and, who no doubt, deserves positive strokes about who they are and not what people think they look like or thought of as having less than desireable self esteem, etc.

I say call it out. Put a stop to it. Don't cave into social processes that do nothing positive for the person who is beautiful in their own right.

I want to expand my rationale on personal accountability where it concerns calling out biases that carefully walk the line between being just a bias then as it spirals into prejudicial actions which are used to build credibility into a claim based in the opposite, counter-claim, that hopes to justify a bias - no matter where it resides on the scale of behaviors used to make the claim appear credible and/or legitimate.

I will use Spirit Dancer's latest post to illustrate the underlying logic I see in the premise set by the author of the quote: Dawn French.

French's quote provides a common context known to most people in that Renaissance art has been a place where we find female bodied models who are beautiful in thier own right and 'revered as a fabulous model' of beauty. Then, French goes on to justify her claim based on a counter-cultural issue of not being Fat (Skinny Culture) by suggesting that a reknown model in our own present culture (Kate Moss) would be 'used as a paintbrush' to make another wrong right.

I appreciate how it is that one might feel drawn to make comparisons like that. But I can't get fully behind it. Why? I have to call it out for what I see transpiring within the framed context of logic that is utilized. For, it's not okay that an opposite culture is used to oppress or suppress the real claim at stake in this particular meme. People who are skinny or their body size and range of weight is staged more toward a normed latitude are just as valuable in our society as people whose range of size or weight is found on another spectrum of the latitude - those of us who are bigger or larger or whatever descriptor that one wants to adopt as their own personal descriptor.

Let's take me (for example): I think of myself as a tank. My own identity is charged positively in that while it's not necessarily a true marker of my physical shape, what is truer is the proverbial connotation of what the term "Tank" means: I adopt Tank as an armor that aids me in repelling social stereotypes (isms) which carry a negatively charged connotation. I'm not as big as I was six months ago, but I am still a fairly big woman - because my bone density and physical makeup will only allow me to look as lean as only my body will allow. I don't think I will ever weigh less than 200, but if I ever weigh 190, will have a big party!

What I am trying to say is that to me, it's not okay to use a counter-proposition that oppresses another type of culture or identity to justify the negatively charged messages about ourselves in the world of using language as thoughtfully and carefully as one can. Sometimes I surface process, but mostly I process at a level in cognition that requires time to process and take in all the items present that I see in the environment. Those items might look like: physical cues, non-physical cues, tangible textual cues (re: the quote by French), and if we're in a face-to-face situation then no doubt other signifiers come into play. For example, speech processes, cultural cues found present in the way a person dresses or proximity (distance) between members who are sharing a channel of communication with each other.

It takes a deeper commitment in the process of calling out social stereotypes pertaining to size culture (Fat) than using a surface process to justify the hurtful messages we are bombarded with on a daily basis. I want to say that in developing this post, my intention is to not make my friend SD feel badly for the comparison she felt led to make in support of those who are larger in size as opposed to those who are less our size. I only do this with a loving heart and remaining true to my own level of social and personal accountability in illustrating a principle that I feel is important in providing a feasible remedy for combating biased, prejudicial aspects we face on a daily basis.

Maybe one way to reframe the message conveyed in French's quote could go something like this:

I'm glad Reuben Art mirrors my beauty and that Kate Moss can enjoy my beauty too: We paint a beautiful world together!

So, hopefully what I submit today is met with a willingness to carefully inspect flagged messages in our daily lives and make a commitment to counter biased and prejudicial acts of communication by reframing what we let ourselves hear, read or what we allow ourselves to think. I think the remedy begins with ourselves and my own challenge on a daily basis is to treat myself with loving kindness and dwell only upon thoughts which uplift me and those around me.

[SingularNYCFemme]

So, hopefully what I submit today is met with a willingness to carefully inspect flagged messages in our daily lives and make a commitment to counter biased and prejudicial acts of communication by reframing what we let ourselves hear, read or what we allow ourselves to think. I think the remedy begins with ourselves and my own challenge on a daily basis is to treat myself with loving kindness and dwell only upon thoughts which uplift me and those around me.

I appreciate your entire carefully written and thought through post, Kätzchen; thank you very much for everything you wrote there. Actually, I've cut out my favorite part, which had to do with Rubenesque women and sharing our enjoyment of them with Ms. Moss! But it is your final, succinct, deeply caring paragraph I am quoting because it really sums up everything you have written so well. It really is best for us, having known and felt (oh bother with past tense, I deal with this on the bus every day) our fellow humans' responses to our being outside their imposed norm, not to engage in the same negative and derisive treatment of any fellow human. My largesse is only one way in which I am outside of today's social norms; and I need to learn how to live the best life I can live with the various ways in which I veer off. I will do so better, perhaps best, if I do so with as much acceptance of other ways people are than, certainly, if I turn around and exclude others as I have found myself excluded, or deride others as I have found myself derided.

Now I've prattled on long enough, all basically to say thank you for such rich food ... for thought!

[Soft*Silver]

I hear women telling me what they cant wear...

I cant expose my arms, they are too big

I cant wear belts, my stumach is too large

I cant wear pants, my ass is too big

I cant wear sexy nighties because I am round

I cant wear shorts my legs are too fat

I cant wear heels because people will laugh

I cant wear sexy because no one will believe it

I cant wear dress-up because I will be a joke instead of sensual

I cant wear ....

its amazing some of us leave the house with anything on at all. No stripes, loud colors, prints, nor white. However, glitter, sequins, animal prints and satin stripe around our necklines (the supposed smallest part of our upper body) are ok.

So I go to work wearing....extremely thin strapped tank tops...and shorts. And stripes and loud prints...REALLY LOUD prints. LOL. And I dyed my hair blue black and wear rich deep colors on my face. I cant wear heels but I paint my toes and I put on hats that dont match anything I wear. LOL. And they love me. Actually, they actually love themselves. And that...is what its all about...:moonstars:

[Ginger]

I hear women telling me what they cant wear...

I cant expose my arms, they are too big

I cant wear belts, my stumach is too large

I cant wear pants, my ass is too big

I cant wear sexy nighties because I am round

I cant wear shorts my legs are too fat

I cant wear heels because people will laugh

I cant wear sexy because no one will believe it

I cant wear dress-up because I will be a joke instead of sensual

I cant wear ....

its amazing some of us leave the house with anything on at all. No stripes, loud colors, prints, nor white. However, glitter, sequins, animal prints and satin stripe around our necklines (the supposed smallest part of our upper body) are ok.

So I go to work wearing....extremely thin strapped tank tops...and shorts. And stripes and loud prints...REALLY LOUD prints. LOL. And I dyed my hair blue black and wear rich deep colors on my face. I cant wear heels but I paint my toes and I put on hats that dont match anything I wear. LOL. And they love me. Actually, they actually love themselves. And that...is what its all about...:moonstars:


What a truly beautiful post.

[nycfem]

Reading what Tia wrote made me think about how a few years ago, when I was at the indoor pool at the gym, after swimming a mile, I got out of the pool and was wearing a black swimsuit with a bright pink design on it. It was pretty generic. But a lean, athletic dude had to yell across the pool, "Wow, that's a really LOUD color you're wearing!" A lot of people looked at me and I just gave a little forced giggle. I was caught off-guard but I got the message. Sorry, 200lb short women shouldn't wear bright, fun colors, especially not in a dripping wet swimsuit and not at a gym. The shame stays with us and also makes it understandable why some fat people avoid the gym.

[SingularNYCFemme]

Reading what Tia wrote made me think about how a few years ago, when I was at the indoor pool at the gym, after swimming a mile, I got out of the pool and was wearing a black swimsuit with a bright pink design on it. It was pretty generic. But a lean, athletic dude had to yell across the pool, "Wow, that's a really LOUD color you're wearing!" A lot of people looked at me and I just gave a little forced giggle. I was caught off-guard but I got the message. Sorry, 200lb short women shouldn't wear bright, fun colors, especially not in a dripping wet swimsuit and not at a gym. The shame stays with us and also makes it understandable why some fat people avoid the gym.

Besides the financial aspects, which should be getting better in the near future, I have to admit that it's hard for me to feel comfortable in a gym, and I haven't had an experience like that (yet). I HATE that this happened to you, and I want to tell you that you are my HERO because you still go to the gym. Well, that's one of the reasons you're my hero anyway.

[SugarFemme]

About ten years ago when I still bought into the, "Wear black, it makes you slimmer" BS my mom was feeding me, I always wore black to work. ALL black. I still felt fat. Didn't have that miraculous, suddenly looking 50 pounds lighter look. Everyone used to tease me at work that I was, "Always ready for a funeral" because I was always in all black. I figured, fuck it. I was so over it. Now, I wear whatever makes ME feel good. Besides, I finally figured out that it was NOT what I wore on the outside, but how I felt on the INSIDE about myself that made the difference.





I hear women telling me what they cant wear...

I cant expose my arms, they are too big

I cant wear belts, my stumach is too large

I cant wear pants, my ass is too big

I cant wear sexy nighties because I am round

I cant wear shorts my legs are too fat

I cant wear heels because people will laugh

I cant wear sexy because no one will believe it

I cant wear dress-up because I will be a joke instead of sensual

I cant wear ....

its amazing some of us leave the house with anything on at all. No stripes, loud colors, prints, nor white. However, glitter, sequins, animal prints and satin stripe around our necklines (the supposed smallest part of our upper body) are ok.

So I go to work wearing....extremely thin strapped tank tops...and shorts. And stripes and loud prints...REALLY LOUD prints. LOL. And I dyed my hair blue black and wear rich deep colors on my face. I cant wear heels but I paint my toes and I put on hats that dont match anything I wear. LOL. And they love me. Actually, they actually love themselves. And that...is what its all about...:moonstars:

[Soft*Silver]

I grew up not seeing what was in the mirror. I saw what everyone wanted me to see. Fat. Ugly. A round peg in a square hole. I couldnt see what I looked like. Just last year I realized I had green eyes. Not brown like everyone else in my family. All my life I wanted cheekbones. I realized this year I have them. I SO wanted lovely breasts. Dammit. I have incredible breasts! Just because I have some fat on me, I couldnt see these things. I saw the hue of shame, not the reality of me, when I looked in the mirror.

When we see ourselves thru others eyes, thru the smear of fat across our visual field, we lower our expectations of our worth, as well as the truth of who we are as individuals. I am not one of the Fat. I am not just a fat woman. I am a woman. I have extra pounds on me. But I have green eyes, cheekbones, nice breasts and alot of other things that I spent 5 decades denying to myself. And by god I am done not seeing who I am in the mirror. And if people dont like me wearing bright pink, they can kiss my rippled lovely ass because I have one of those beauties, too! LOL

[ruby_woo]

I hear women telling me what they cant wear...

I cant expose my arms, they are too big

I cant wear belts, my stumach is too large

I cant wear pants, my ass is too big

I cant wear sexy nighties because I am round

I cant wear shorts my legs are too fat

I cant wear heels because people will laugh

I cant wear sexy because no one will believe it

I cant wear dress-up because I will be a joke instead of sensual

I cant wear ....



I've never had any problem wearing colours, stripes, showing my arms, etc., but until recently I never EVER wore pants. I hated my ass and thighs so much I thought I had to hide them in skirts all the time. I love pretty dresses and skirts, but it's nice to branch out every now and then.

I guess I've been able to throw that out the window because I wore skinny jeans to work today, and they were freakin' cute.

[clay]

:rrose:....just stopping by to say...WOW! You gorgeous, gorgeous and oh so sensual souls...I heart you ALL! Stunning...absolutely stunning...I slip in here to put a huge smile on my face..and to derive pure joy in the beauty that lies within this thread!....xoxoxo...all of you! ...:rrose:

[nycfem]

Sometimes people compliment my lean fingers. It sounds weird but I really get that occasionally! I always giggle and say thanks but what I really feel is angry, because it makes me feel like they found a thin part of me and thus a way to compliment me (kind of like the pretty face thing). On the flip side, I enjoy when people compliment my legs because it reminds me of my strength :).

[clay]

Recently I have begun to have some serious health issues...and with having had major surg last december for colon cancer...these concerned me enough to see a GI surgeon recommended by my oncologist's office.
So, last Friday, I saw this "person"...after a resident came in to take my history, this "surgeon" walked in in his expensive suit, sat on the stool..looked at me..grinned and said" I can tell you why you had colon cancer, are having rectal bleeding now, and you have joint pain, and the reason you walk with that limp...is you are "morbidly obese" and I can fix all of that, with a gastric bypass". Your hernia I can't fix because you are so "big" that it will rupture again, and repeatedly, UNTIL you let me do a bypass on you....that is your only option...my jaw was on the floor....he wasn't even interested in asking me any of my history, never even looked at my hernia, and was there for less than 10 minutes...he gave me a brochure for the gastric bypass...and walked out.
The student in the room....his face was the color of a firetruck...he was jaw dropped, too...and he just looked at me sheepishly!
I walk with a limp because of a tragic motorcycle accident.
I had colon cancer....because who knows why...maybe genetically predisposed?
I have a hernia because the muscle was cut laterally...across the grain...and when was sutured, you can't suture the stringy strands...only the tendons and ligaments, so THAT is why I have a hernia.
I am well aware of how "big" I am...and I am well aware of the fact I also have lost 50 lbs. since last November...
and most importantly, I am well aware I have a HUGE kind, loving, and forgiving heart...and I own my fatness!
but him...he is just an ass..for which there is NO excuse!!!
Anyway, I am thick skinned and don't let asshats get to me..and NO I am NOT going to have a gastric bypass...I do NOT need to add to my woes, you know?
I rather be able to admire beautiful, big women.....like me....<wink>

[clay]

Sometimes people compliment my lean fingers. It sounds weird but I really get that occasionally! I always giggle and say thanks but what I really feel is angry, because it makes me feel like they found a thin part of me and thus a way to compliment me (kind of like the pretty face thing). On the flip side, I enjoy when people compliment my legs because it reminds me of my strength :).

Honey...you have a beautiful soul and an incredible loving heart...I heart YOU!

[SugarFemme]

OMG Clay, I had something similar happen to me a few years ago. After having multiple spine surgeries due to degenerative disc disease, and still having major pain issues, it was decided by my pain doc that I should get a nerve stimulator implanted in my spine. I was totally on board with that because I had heard it did help. So the first step is you have to go see a psychiatrist for an evaluation to make sure you have no emotional issues that could be exacerbated by the implantation of a device into your body that you can see topically. Went and saw this ass*&^e of a shrink. The entire forty minutes was spent with him trying to convince me to go and get bypass surgery. Not once, did we discuss the nerve stimulator. Needless to say, I was so devastated with my experience with this schmuck, I gave up and never proceeded any further. My pain doc swore I needed the stimulator and would make sure he would find someone for me that wasn't going to be such a schmuck. I was just done. Oh and this is the same doc that while he was handing me an RX for a thirty day supply of steroids for inflammation, was telling me I need to lose weight. Go figure.





Recently I have begun to have some serious health issues...and with having had major surg last december for colon cancer...these concerned me enough to see a GI surgeon recommended by my oncologist's office.
So, last Friday, I saw this "person"...after a resident came in to take my history, this "surgeon" walked in in his expensive suit, sat on the stool..looked at me..grinned and said" I can tell you why you had colon cancer, are having rectal bleeding now, and you have joint pain, and the reason you walk with that limp...is you are "morbidly obese" and I can fix all of that, with a gastric bypass". Your hernia I can't fix because you are so "big" that it will rupture again, and repeatedly, UNTIL you let me do a bypass on you....that is your only option...my jaw was on the floor....he wasn't even interested in asking me any of my history, never even looked at my hernia, and was there for less than 10 minutes...he gave me a brochure for the gastric bypass...and walked out.
The student in the room....his face was the color of a firetruck...he was jaw dropped, too...and he just looked at me sheepishly!
I walk with a limp because of a tragic motorcycle accident.
I had colon cancer....because who knows why...maybe genetically predisposed?
I have a hernia because the muscle was cut laterally...across the grain...and when was sutured, you can't suture the stringy strands...only the tendons and ligaments, so THAT is why I have a hernia.
I am well aware of how "big" I am...and I am well aware of the fact I also have lost 50 lbs. since last November...
and most importantly, I am well aware I have a HUGE kind, loving, and forgiving heart...and I own my fatness!
but him...he is just an ass..for which there is NO excuse!!!
Anyway, I am thick skinned and don't let asshats get to me..and NO I am NOT going to have a gastric bypass...I do NOT need to add to my woes, you know?
I rather be able to admire beautiful, big women.....like me....<wink>

[Canela]

I came to a point in my heart and my spirit where it was more important what I thought and felt about myself than what anyone else thinks, says or does. Not because I have no feelings or respect for anyone else, but because what I think matters just as much. It's equality...

Why? Because I am worthy of being important as are all of you, my sisters.

Just as important as anyone else thinks they are, that's how important I am, too. My feelings, my opinions, my heart, my desires, my mode of dress, my hair, my nails...(incidentally, I have short little fingers so I wear long nails ALL THE TIME with lots of bling too!)all have everything to do with me and no one else.

My weight?

Well, one day my youngest daughter was going into her school as I'd dropped her off that morning, and a smart ass boy said to her, "you're mom is fat". My daughter was 6 years old. She turns around and looks at me getting ready to drive away and she says to him, "my mommy's body is big because it has to carry around her big heart". 6 years old. (Is that what you meant, Katzchen? lol)

Now you know how tall I am. I am 10 feet tall.

[Soft*Silver]

I have had so many Drs tell me to lose weight so my medical problems would decrease. I actually had 3/4 of my stumach removed to repair a massive hiatal hernia. I assumed, as did many others, that this was going to act like bypass surgery. It did somewhat, but not completely. I lost about 30 lbs that have stayed off. I actually lost 50 but put 20 back on. And this is where I feel comfortable. If I worked at it, i could drop those 20 lbs but frankly, I dont want to. My Drs are telling me I need to. But i am stronger now than I have been ever since my accident. I feel so much better. Losing those 20 lbs isnt going to miraculously make me not disabled! I am always going to still walk with a limp, be stiff, be in pain. But I can run a store, ride a horse and walk my dogs! And be damn hot in a pair of shorts...and tank tops! LOL:rrose:

[SingularNYCFemme]

Well, one day my youngest daughter was going into her school as I'd dropped her off that morning, and a smart ass boy said to her, "you're mom is fat". My daughter was 6 years old. She turns around and looks at me getting ready to drive away and she says to him, "my mommy's body is big because it has to carry around her big heart".

Thanks to you and your daughter for a beautiful start to my day.

[Spirit Dancer]

Coming into my own acceptance wasn't easy, the whispers and just rude
comments were at times overwhelming.

For someone to say such a pretty face it would be better if you lost the weight. Really?
Those words cut deeper than any knife, I played ball was on the pep squad but truly never fit in due to my size.

Society labels "FAT" people as overeating, lazy, no motivation can't you just walk away from the plate.
Which simply isn't true; and here's the perfect example.
I went in for my annual review at work my manager said let me tell you something a patient said about you.
One of your patient states every time she comes in you are here there and every where running circles around the others,
you never stop but yet she's overweight.
My mouth fell open, as my manager said it's a compliment to you.
She then followed with i've noticed the same thing
and you barely eat when your here during lunch or take no lunch.
The review was glowing,
the comments caused me to pause,
the moral is FAT people work and play hard get noticed
for that and still people say why is she FAT.

To them I say my size doesn't make me who I am, it's merely a shell
protecting the best part of me.

[SugarFemme]

I read this to my daughter last night, (She is now 19) and we both cried. How true and honest. To your daughter you are not her fat mom. You are just her wonderful mom. Good or bad, children see the world through such different eyes than adults. It's a shame that many don't carry "that" through to their adult years. Canela, give your daughter a hug for myself and my daughter please.





Well, one day my youngest daughter was going into her school as I'd dropped her off that morning, and a smart ass boy said to her, "you're mom is fat". My daughter was 6 years old. She turns around and looks at me getting ready to drive away and she says to him, "my mommy's body is big because it has to carry around her big heart". 6 years old. (Is that what you meant, Katzchen? lol)

Now you know how tall I am. I am 10 feet tall.

[Kätzchen]

Hey Canela, yeah... I totally hear how precious children can be! My own boys were like that and still are.

I was gonna say today that for most of my growing up years, I was very slender. It wasn't until between my late 20s to late 30s that I actually experienced a huge wieght gain (my wieght spiraled past 340+ lbs) during that time period in my life and my wieght gain was largely connected to an undiagnosable heart condition that was eventually discovered in my early 40s. Over the past ten years or so, I've hovered around 200-260; currently I sit at 200#. Up until my early 20s I was terribly slender. My wieght during that period of time was around 155#. People called me Twiggy (for those of you who remember that model, years ago).

NYCfemBBW's story about the bathing suit episode and people commenting on her slender fingers (or her legs) reminds me of how people will make remarks about my 'beauty'. I work hard not to flinch or cringe when people make remarks to me of this nature. But I've come to learn over the years that we all grow in our own unique beautiful ways and even when it gets hard to be empathetic to others' lack of understanding or level of intelligence or whatever, that I just have to remember to breathe and count my lucky stars that for some reason I have been able to be too terribly offensive although I know I am not without fault. I'm human like that, I guess.

Hope everyone is having a beautiful day today.
I am. I terribly grateful for that, I am.

:stillheart:

[SingularNYCFemme]

I was just on another site, one where I write a diary and read those of others, and one of my friends there wrote about her weight, and how it's always been a big issue for her; about various aches and issues that are tied to it. I wrote about acceptance; let her know she's splendid exactly as she is right now; and encouraged her to do what's best for her. She's a straight woman and hasn't got access to our wonderful thread or, I'm guessing, any fat positive sources. So: I am going to reach out (through diaries) to offer positive messages about herself ... myself ... all women of bounty, and hopefully she will at least know she has a friend who is supportive of her at any size, and encouraging her to love herself RIGHT NOW and not at some future time or some future size/weight.

I feel more blessed than ever to have come out as a lesbian, and a femme lesbian, and to have access to a space like this with fabulous folks who celebrate ourselves in ALL our glory! XOXOXO

[Canela]

I was just on another site, one where I write a diary and read those of others, and one of my friends there wrote about her weight, and how it's always been a big issue for her; about various aches and issues that are tied to it. I wrote about acceptance; let her know she's splendid exactly as she is right now; and encouraged her to do what's best for her. She's a straight woman and hasn't got access to our wonderful thread or, I'm guessing, any fat positive sources. So: I am going to reach out (through diaries) to offer positive messages about herself ... myself ... all women of bounty, and hopefully she will at least know she has a friend who is supportive of her at any size, and encouraging her to love herself RIGHT NOW and not at some future time or some future size/weight.

I feel more blessed than ever to have come out as a lesbian, and a femme lesbian, and to have access to a space like this with fabulous folks who celebrate ourselves in ALL our glory! XOXOXO

Congratulations on paying it forward! How awesome that you step outside of your own comfort zone to help someone else who needs it. See, I think that's the "why" of why it's important that we share our stories, our successes especially and any thing that will help encourage and inspire others. Why? Because we can, and when we do it feels sooo good? (Not to mention why this thread exists.)

Am I right, SingularNYCFemme?

You are so awesome and special to go that extra mile for her! Good going, sis!

Big hugs and *snaps* to you!

Ephesians 4:29

[dark_crystal]

* this is copy pasted from my blog www.excusedfromthetreadmill.wordpress.com, and I may have copy/pasted an earlier version in the eating disorders or body-positive thread, for which I apologize for spamming the forums)

In recovering from anorexia, I had to accept that I was going to gain weight and that I could take no control over that and that I would just have to accept whatever size I ended up with.

I had to learn that every size is ok. Through this process, I became a "Fat Activist."

Even though my weight is “normal”, I am a Fat Activist because fat stigma hurts everyone.

When fat jokes are funny, when fat kids are bullied, when fat people face discrimination, all of that adds to the perception that fat is the worst thing in the world you could possibly be.

For “fat” to be the worst thing in the world that could happen to anyone is a problem for people of every size.

When getting fat is the worst thing you can do, avoiding fat becomes the best thing you can do.

(Not to mention how tragic it is to have an entire society working harder at thinness than at art, innovation, or justice.)

When avoiding fat is the most important thing anyone can do, too much is never enough.

This attitude encourages extreme rhetoric and behaviors about weight, diet, and exercise.

When extreme rhetoric and behaviors are portrayed as desirable, people get eating disorders.

I am a Fat Activist because I think that fat, in and of itself, is value-neutral. It is neither good nor bad, and for us to be waging a war this desperate against an arbitrary enemy is suicidal.

If a fat person has health issues that they want to fix, those health issues should be addressed directly. Rather than attempting to fix high blood pressure, high blood sugar, high cholesterol, etc, through dieting; we should approach them through diet.

Wait, isn’t that the same thing? No. Saying “I need to get my blood sugar down, so I am going to lose fifty pounds” is very differnt from saying “I need to get my blood sugar down, so I am going to limit my intake of sugar and carbohydrates.”

The person with the first goal is likely to fail. The person with the second goal is likely to succeed. It seems like it is just semantics, as then end goal is the same, but it is much healthier psychologically to take the most direct approach, as approaching an achievable goal through a method that has a 95% failure rate is just asking for anxiety, depression, obsession and a whole host of other things that our modern lives don’t need any more of.

I am a fat activist because a person can address health concerns such as high blood pressure and high blood sugar through diet and have success without seeing any visible change in their size, therefore I cannot make assumptions about anyone’s health based on their size.

I am a fat activist because, actually, nobody’s health is my business. It sounds like I am saying “it is ok to be fat as long as you are still healthy,” but actually it is ok to be fat whether you are healthy or not.

We judge people for their “healthy” or “unhealthy” lifestyles without ever asking ourselves why. Objectively, how is an individual’s health “good” or “bad” for anyone but themselves, and if it doesn’t affect anyone else, how does it get to be a criteria we can judge by?

People say “but they are shortening their lives,” (which we have already said you cannot know from looking at them, but humor me), however, length of life is also value-neutral. We are all afraid of the unknown, so we want to put off facing it for as long as possible, which leads us to value long lives for ourselves– but this does not mean that a person shortening their own life has any effect on us or is in any way objectively “bad” or “good.”

We actually have more justification in judging people for their fashion choces than for their health. A really bad fashion choice can conceivably affect me if you are wearing zebra stripes with houndstooth and seeing you out of the corner of my eye is distracting me and giving me a headache. Sitting next to me while having high blood pressure? Not so much.

[Tcountry]

I don't know if this should go here or not ( have mixed feelings on it)...but I wanted to share it specifically with ya'll...its been stuck in my head with some great dancing mental images...lol
*tip hat*

WoI9AUCQCco

[Soft*Silver]

this thread has been too quiet!

I have been moving the store around and decorating with autumn ideas. I will get photos in my gallery soon.

I had a woman come in and tell me she couldnt wait for winter so she could use clothes to cover up her fat. The tone of self loathing was evident. I smiled at her and said, "but I love you just the way you are and you are lovely and beautiful"...and her eyes welled up. She stayed for about thirty minutes and told me her story...our story...being bullied as a child, tormented for being fat, grabbing the first man who came along, he of course was looking for someone he could control, having kids, gaining more weight, hating her marriage, hating herself...

need I go on?

I listened. I listen. I hear so many stories. Our stories. I really would love to make a book or a play out of this whole experience. I have a small short vingette I am working on and I think this might grow into the bigger Story...

Clothes dont cover up our fat. It feeds our need to deny our Selves and our Bodies. To disconnect and betray. When they come into my store, I help them connect and accept. Lil steps. Like, wearing shirts with short sleeves instead of long ones. Shorts instead of capris. Colors. Prints. Even jewelry becomes an issue. Some women wont wear jewelry. Not because they dont love it. But because they dont want to waste the money on themselves. Someone else should have it. I about near imploded the first time I heard that! Yet, it wasnt the last time sadly.

[twinkletoes]

Came across this thread and think it's wonderful :D I've always been a biggish girl but the last couple of years I've lost about 3 and a half stone, mainly to feel fitter really. Although now a 'healthy' weight, ever since, I've had troubles with my stomach and digestion, I've had my gallbladder removed as well. Basically it seems the smaller I've become and the healthier I eat, the less well I seem to be most of the time. I'm not suggesting the two are necessarily connected but it does seem coincidental... My twin on the other hand is a curvy size 18 (not sure what that relates to in other countries) and she is much more radiant to look at, laid back, happy and not plagued with health problems :) Big and curvy is definately beautiful ladies :D :D

[Soft*Silver]

my store is being featured in our local town's newspaper with a nice big article with photos!

[Leigh]

I'm SO very excited for you Tia ~ you deserve it darlin :)

[Licious]

I'm SO very excited for you Tia ~ you deserve it darlin :)

Me too, that is awesome Tia! Yay!
:cheer:

[Spirit Dancer]

Hey Beautiful Fat Girl
--by Rebecca

hey beautiful fat girl
let's talk of is and isn't
i know they call you
mother earth
earth mother
mother
but it isn't fecundity i see
in the swells of you
and your curves are
sweet hot sex
but i don't call you my fetish
don't back-bus you
or give you labels to hide my shame
i don't love you for your
thunderous dancing
even as i love the dancing
and you
and the you of the dancing
because you are more than
your thighs
your size
though all the while,
they are parts of you too
and the shaking inside of me
is not subtle
when i see you
for you move my earth
and rattle the stars down
around me
like a gift
like the gift you are

[Spirit Dancer]

I found this on the My Fitness Pal forums, and just had to share.




Hey, Fat Girl.


Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.

You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.

You are awesome.

If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.

You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.

You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.

You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.

I bow to you.

[Gráinne]

I've had some random thoughts that I think go here :)

First, I'll be right up front: I hate exercise. If I'm trying to lose weight, reshape something or rearrange my body, it ain't happening.

With that said, I do enjoy movement. Alone at home, I like putting music on and shaking it all over my living room. I like to walk in the evenings. I actually enjoy hard housework and that feeling of accomplishment in my muscles afterwards.

I belong to an inexpensive gym near my home. Last night I thought, "What if you go and do some weight work, but just focus on the feelings in your body?" So I did! I enjoy the little pings in my legs after walking on the treadmills. I like that burn at full extension with a weight, and the release after I return to the start. I like the feel of sweat and stepping outside in the cool air ;). I am such a sensualist. Maybe this is the approach I have to take, and hopefully the benefits will come anyway.

Then a little later I was in Wal-Mart, looking for a screwdriver or something totally unsexy. I found myself over in the sleepwear, and went straight to a silky pair of pj pants and a lacy black camisole with flowers all over it. Darn the voices in my head: "That's way too sexy; you're too fat for that". I bought it anyway, wore it last night, and felt like the sex queen of the Universe. But it's hard not looking in the mirror and telling yourself, "Oh well, I'm still fat, not the SQOTU". Why do we do that to ourselves?

On another note, has anyone noticed how women's magazines almost always have clothing articles like "Minimize your ass, make yourself look taller (it would take me standing on stilts to do that), flatten your tummy"? Especially around bathing suit season, and whenever jeans articles come out. I'm all for flattering ourselves and feeling good, but sometimes I think it's worth checking out who were really camoflaging ourselves for.

I had a thought; what if at Reunion next year, say at the Prom, we tried just a little to wear something that called attention to some part that we have condemned ourselves for? For example, if you don't like your calves, wear something with a slit. If you don't like your bust, find something with ruffles or wear a eye-catching locket. You get the idea. So often I think we imagine we're giant walking tummies or calves or whatever, not realizing that everyone else is self-conscious about something, and the very "flaw" we think we have, someone else finds hotter than hell. I will attest to that.

And finally, I LOVE the theme for next year. The pinups of the '30's and 40's were by no means thin by our standards-Marilyn Monroe was a size 16. Betty Grable was not thin, but took the most famous poster of all that time in a bathing suit. How many of us would pose as she did, right now? Jane Russell in a little tied-up shirt, or Rita Hayworth in that nightgown on the bed-erm, okay ;).

Makes me wonder why, with all our diets and gyms and fancy workout things, we're so hard on ourselves and actually getting more unhealthy as a country? Those pinups didn't have all that, and all seemed pretty darn happy with their "assets". Interesting that all lived to ripe old age, too. Worth a thought.

<3

[Licious]

Hi Everyone!

Well as some of you know, struggling with weight a lot in my life and time required resting for health reasons, I have gotten fairly overweight, yes, I think the word "fat" applies. And when I first came in here, my self-loathing over it was pretty severe.

No, I am not over it all yet, but I am learning to love myself the way I am, not waiting for some mystical day when I may or may not weigh less.

It isn't easy and is foreign to me, in my youth I was more able to get most excess weight off.

I didn't mind it on others actually. Just me. I have dated butches who were heavy and thought they looked great. I have had femme friends who were heavy and I thought they looked sexy. Just me, I didn't like it on myself.

You have all been so wonderful and such a help. I got some new pants and shirts and may even get a dress. I am going to let myself look good now, not wait. Hey thrift store clothes don't cost that much, no reason to delay.

Thanks again, still on my journey.

Blessings to you all!

[Tcountry]

YA'll make me smile...even when you don't post a whole lot...I know that every day you are out there being You and being awesome!
I had to work 9 then went back to see the folks then worked again, so haven't posted much, but I try to read every day...I try to stay connected with the positive side of my world all the time.

Just wanted to say hi tonight... & ya'll are great!

[Heavenleahangel]

I just found this thread and I am wondering just why I have missed it before! Wow! I must take the time to go back and re-read as many posts as possible.
I, personally, have been on both sides of the fence when it comes to being "overweight" and "average." What ever that means...lol...I used to NEVER let my pant size dictate how I felt about myself. I actually modeled for JustMySize and Fashion Bug before and rawked the runway, Baybee!
Then given the opportunity to adopt a newborn and welcome a son, I stopped being a single, available femme and became "Jacob's Mommy" 24/7. I still watched everything and tried to remain the same size I was year after year.
Things changed when I found out I would have to go through chemo, then rounds of steroids took their toll. Now, I have gained some weight and I guess my pant size aint what it used to be and I am definitely feeling the pressure to lose the extra I gained and try to get back to being as healthy as I used to be. I actually want to be healthier than I ever was! I have a 5 year old now...and he is active...I miss not being able to roll around the floor with him and doing the things I used to.
Thank you all for remaining "fat positive" cuz deep down inside, I know I am still the beautiful blue-eyed-blond I used to be and I will regain *my* positivism again.

[SingularNYCFemme]

I have a 5 year old now...and he is active...I miss not being able to roll around the floor with him and doing the things I used to.
Thank you all for remaining "fat positive" cuz deep down inside, I know I am still the beautiful blue-eyed-blond I used to be and I will regain *my* positivism again.

To that active 5-year-old you are absolutely and completely beautiful exactly the way you are. And to the rest of the world: You are still the beautiful blue-eyed blonde you used to be. There's some more of you to love; and a stronger, more awesome you having survived all you have. :hk13:

[Soft*Silver]

I now have three teens volunteering in my store. One has Aspbergers. One is a teen mom from a rape. And one is an extremely overweight gal. (All are very open about themselves and what I just expressed so not disclosing anything they dont openly state themselves.) I have become a magnet for such kids. I have a waiting list of kids who want to volunteer. So, my plans of opening a teen store have been pushed forward.

All these kids know what its like to be singled out and hated. called names. bullied. two are now homeschooled because of all of that.

Just like Pretty & Plus is just a front for my real business, which is helping and supporting people and helping them become happy about themselves, the teen store will have the same mission.

Everything will be under ten dollars so that all teens can afford something.

To work in the store, they will have to work in P&P first, to get the skills under my tutelage and then get promoted to work in the teen store.

There will be a steering committee of teens who will develop the store.

And the profits will all go to the non profit I support and helped start, the Diva Donations, which loans out homecoming and prom dresses to kids who cant afford to go to proms. They also have a few suits and tuxes too for the teens who wont wear dresses. Call that cool??

I never expected this but its been handed to me by the deity I worship and I have embraced it...

[Rockinonahigh]

Miss.Tia Let me say that I am very proud of what you are doing,the benefits of your store are many and so possitive for all who come in contact with you.I do wish we had something like it hear in my town as it is very needed in many plaeces.Congratulations on you successes now and in the furture..Happy autum.

[PearlsNLace]

Today I want to let go of the guilt that I hold for NOT losing the baby fat, the fat that went beyond baby fat, the fat that came back after the diets, the fat that stayed while dieting.

I want to let go not with the intention that if I could somehow then be guiltfree I could then be thin...

I want to let go just because it serves me no positive purpose, and weighs more than the fat does, on my soul.

[clay]

:rrose:....The inner calm & peace....the pure beauty of everyone in here...of all the threads on the Planet, THIS.is.my.fave. I am proud to grace this place regularly with my "perving".....in.here.resides.the.most.beautiful.souls.on.t he.planet...this "house" rocks!!
I heart all you truly beautiful souls here!! ALL of you...no gender lines here..we are all embraced!

[Soft*Silver]

How is everyone? Surely we cant be THAT quiet?

I posted new photos of my store in my gallery. Just in case you want to see it in the fall season.

So, its a HUGE holiday season coming up. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve. Time to be buying outfits. What are you going to be for Halloween?

Does holiday outfit buying unsettle you? What can I do to make it more comfortable for the gals who come to my shop?

[SingularNYCFemme]

How is everyone? Surely we cant be THAT quiet?

I posted new photos of my store in my gallery. Just in case you want to see it in the fall season.

So, its a HUGE holiday season coming up. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve. Time to be buying outfits. What are you going to be for Halloween?

Does holiday outfit buying unsettle you? What can I do to make it more comfortable for the gals who come to my shop?

Oh what fun it must be to come to your shop! I can't imagine you need to do much more than be your warm and welcoming self. I might tone down the various seasonal decorations ... have them, but perhaps in a subtle way? Either that or go over the top! Hot chocolate might help too. Well, it would help me anyway! I know you'll make all your customers comfortable and happy, and I envy them totally.

[Soft*Silver]

Oh I love the idea of hot chocolate!! Thank you!!!!

[LeftWriteFemme]

http://mynews.mumbleabout.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/421916_323584147699237_190630504327936_872459_1459 977168_n.jpg


I saw this and couldn't resist.....

[ruby_woo]

I'm not sure if this belongs this in this thread, but I'm not sure where else to put it.

Do any of you have tips for when you're feeling not-so-positive?

This article (http://www.vancouverobserver.com/blogs/thescene/im-fat-vancouver-get-over-it) pretty well sums up what it's like to be fat in a skinny, crunchy, yoga and snowboard loving town like Vancouver, and it gets really hard to remain positive at times. What do you do to be nice to yourself when you're feeling down?

[NorCalStud]

I love big femmes....so deeply beautiful. So gorgeous. Be happy and be healthy and know you are HOT HEAVEN.

[princesskathie]

I loooove being a big girl coz my fabulousness just won't fit into a small body, lolol!

[princesskathie]

So what are your favorite places to shop online for big girl clothes??

[nycfem]

I wanted to bump this question, ruby woo, because it is such an important one!

Let's see. When I'm feeling not-so-positive, here's some of what I do that helps me:

-exercise (gets me in touch with my body feeling strong and capable and the adrenalin rush feels good too)

-talk to or hang out with someone body positive (or go on body positive web sites)

-a few weeks ago i cried and told my partner my feelings on a bad day, and hy listened and reassured me genuinely that i had not done anything that was so bad

-let myself feel bad and realize it'll pass...

:rrose:

I'm not sure if this belongs this in this thread, but I'm not sure where else to put it.

Do any of you have tips for when you're feeling not-so-positive?

This article (http://www.vancouverobserver.com/blogs/thescene/im-fat-vancouver-get-over-it) pretty well sums up what it's like to be fat in a skinny, crunchy, yoga and snowboard loving town like Vancouver, and it gets really hard to remain positive at times. What do you do to be nice to yourself when you're feeling down?

[falloutmk]

As weird as it sounds I get made up pretty with makeup and get nude, I then look at myself and ask if I am really hideous on the outside... It's hard to say when you are wearing your favorite makeup combo for me at least no matter if I'm 180 pounds at that time in my life or 250lbs.

I'm not sure if this belongs this in this thread, but I'm not sure where else to put it.

Do any of you have tips for when you're feeling not-so-positive?

This article (http://www.vancouverobserver.com/blogs/thescene/im-fat-vancouver-get-over-it) pretty well sums up what it's like to be fat in a skinny, crunchy, yoga and snowboard loving town like Vancouver, and it gets really hard to remain positive at times. What do you do to be nice to yourself when you're feeling down?

[Soft*Silver]

actually thats a really good question! When i am not feeling good about my body, I do a meditation, where I focus on my breathing and in my focused breathing, I slide my thoughts over every part of my body until I feel myself "attach". I know when I am not feeling good about myself, I am so far removed from my body that I forget how important it is to me. So in meditation, I recommit to it. Breath in positive, breath out negative...each and every segment of my whole.

I also like someone else's idea of movement. I dont care if I am walking the dog, riding a horse, gardening, exercise, etc...if I move, I feel ME. The real me that exists in my flesh and blood and not in anyone's judgement, including my own.

I also love to do for me, when I need tenderness. I will lotion myself with my special oils or spray on that perfume i reserve for special occasions.

I also love to read, so I will read an inspirational biography. Someone I can relate to and who has relevance to whatever is getting in my way spiritually.

Speaking of, when we feel bad about ourselves, we sometimes are paying heed to lack of care. And spiritually, you cant do that for extended periods of time without spiritual repercussions. If you are feeling bad, you might need to figure out what you arent tending to for yourself and fix that.

Rarely does spending money fix my feelings. So shopping doesnt do it for me. It use to, but I fixed that gaping hole a long time ago...

[Soft*Silver]

where do i shop? Why at my store! One of the best things about my shop is that I carry all the lines for plus sizes...from Lane Bryant to Torrid to Catherines to....name it...

I have discovered I am a mix between Talbots and cowboy wear. With a bit of Torrid mixed in...

[LeftWriteFemme]

Hey, has anyone read this book?

http://fatheffalump.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/img_3360.jpg?w=400&h=536

Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love & Fashion: Virgie Tovar: 9781580054386: Amazon.com: Books

[Soft*Silver]

I love that book, LeftWriteFemme! I am going to order a copy!

I have been so busy at the store! Manic-y almost! I took some of my customers to 11 different consignment stores in my area for a shop hop. We loaded up two separate cars and drove from 10am to 8PM! I am still hurting 3 days later! But, it was so worth it! Some were clothing stores, some furniture stores and some were knick knack stores. They bought alot of Christmas presents. And all were amazed at how few clothing consignment stores had our sizes..one half of one long rack in their big stores...made my store full of plus sizes even more special!

I am tired already and December just started. But to see people come in and be overjoyed finding pretty outfits for the holidays is amazing to me! They have such joy in their eyes when the right outfit is found! I can last thru this busy season!

My customers have started calling themselves The Pretties! I LOVE IT! Its not just one or two of them either! Its most of them! They are so proud of themselves now, and are finding such support for their esteems within the range of the shop!

Sometimes I am so happy I feel like I could split apart. :)

[SaltyButch]

This is in response to Ruby woo's question.....what do you do when you're not feeling so positive.....a great question. On any given day I could choose not to feel so good about myself, and some days it is a struggle. I have struggled with my weight my whole life, I don't see that it is going to change anytime soon....the difference is that I don't really care what others think now. Those days that aren't so positive, I will actually put on something that I feel good in and go out.....I walk with my head held high and strut my stuff...at the end of the day my body may not have changed but my attitude has been adjusted and I focus on things that are far more important.

[SingularNYCFemme]

This is in response to Ruby woo's question.....what do you do when you're not feeling so positive.....a great question. On any given day I could choose not to feel so good about myself, and some days it is a struggle. I have struggled with my weight my whole life, I don't see that it is going to change anytime soon....the difference is that I don't really care what others think now. Those days that aren't so positive, I will actually put on something that I feel good in and go out.....I walk with my head held high and strut my stuff...at the end of the day my body may not have changed but my attitude has been adjusted and I focus on things that are far more important.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing that. You really have given my spirits a sorely needed boost.

[nycfem]

I've neglected this thread for the past few months, posting -that is, and have appreciated others posts very much! How are the holidays going for everyone?

I wanted to share about a day that stayed on my mind and had me thinking. Since Thanksgiving and up until almost Christmas I was sick with one of those bugs that just would not go away. I felt weak and down, especially during such a busy time of year.

On the last day before my winter break (I work at a school), a higher up motioned me over to her to look at photos on the computer from the staff holiday party. As we looked through the many photos, every time there was a photo of her she commented on how fat she was and deleted it. It was said in a multitude of ways over and over. And it was especially frustrating because she is not fat, and I am.

Then that evening I talked to my almost-98-year-old paternal grandmother on the phone, and she told me that I should try Nutrisystem. "Okay, thanks, and, so how have you been?" But, no, as usual she could not stop herself. She was in one of her sadistic moods where even if I respond nicely to everything she says, she can't stop talking about her perception that my purpose in life should be to lose weight. Angrily, she said, "You're not serious about it!" Having found in the past that fighting her on the issue was not effective, we had this circular conversation with me being nice and trying to talk about other things and her focusing exclusively on my weight, saying, "Remember when you used to be gorgeous? You had a perfect figure. It's so sad what's happened."

Later that night, the experience at work and the experience on the phone came crashing down on me. It seeped into my bones, and I felt horrible. I felt like there was something wrong with me, and I felt terrible about myself. I realized that it had not rolled off me like it sometimes does when I am feeling strong, and times are good, and I can just blow off the thoughtless comments of others. Sometimes I give people a piece of my mind kindly or more aggressively; sometimes I set a strong boundary; and sometimes I let it roll off me, but then there are days like that day when all the negativity about fat people and body negativity in general just knocks me down.

Now I'm feeling back in a place of strength but I wanted to talk about that day and share my feelings of how hard it was and how I hope we can all turn to each other for support in body acceptance as well as counter balance all the fat negativity and judgement of all bodies that there is out there with celebration of ourselves, whether we are thin or chubby or supersize. Lots of love to anyone who takes the time to read this thread and lend support.

Happy holidays to all the wonderful people on this thread! May your New Year be full of love and peace!

http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r230/ssgwife1/bbw/flashingbbw.jpg

[Soft*Silver]

oh Jen, hugs to you for what happened to you that day! I know as secure as I am, if I am sick and/or in a pain cycle, I can also be brought down. I had a horrible cycle of pain recently that lasted almost 2 weeks. By the time it was done, I felt like I had lost all the footage I had gained over the past year. I believed I was always going to be vulnerable (and yes, thats a fact) and might as well not try. I was ready to give up the shop, give up planning a garden and sit and just give up...be a slug. If I didnt move, i wouldnt hurt.

well...truthfully, I would be in pain even if i didnt move. I just wouldnt have a life. I know that when my pain shows up, it can leave spiritual claw marks upon my flesh. Its up to me if I let it get away with that. And sometimes, like with this pain cycle, it takes so much out of me I almost dont get away from it, even after its gone.

Because I was down for almost two weeks and was on steroids to help with the pain, and because there was nothing else I could do, I ate. and I gained weight. This did not bother me, until last night, when I went over to my sister's for a belated holiday party. I am so proud of her for losing so much weight for her health. she had several health issues that demanded she had to lose weight. And she did. So this isnt about jealousy. But when they shot a picture of us and i saw how much she had lost and I had gained, i was really shook.

But I had already made the declaration I was going to start eating healthy again. I shook off the knee jerk reaction to my "fat" and returned to the attention to my health. I am not going to be sucked into the fat empire.

You never know when its going to return, or who/what is going to trigger it. We carry lifetimes of torment because of our weight, so the right trigger can drag that all up again.

But just because its triggered, doesnt mean its part of our Present. It just means it came to visit, to remind us where we were and where we dont want to be anymore.

[Kätzchen]

Lately, over the last half of last year, I haven't had a job where I am nearly as active as I was on my former job. I've noticed that some of my dresses have been fitting a little tighter than normal, lately. I find myself getting a little bit depressed about it, truthfully. It's been very cold here and as of late, very windy - which normally, we have rain; not the biting cold air and windy conditions. It's a struggle for me to motivate myself to go out in the cold - even for a walk - because, now that I'm older and not as resilient as I was when I was younger (say ten years ago), I have to be careful because exposure to cold elements of weather can affect me greatly.

I try every day to do my workout on my trampoline - after doing my job search homework, etc. But it's not the same and I feel discouraged that my dresses, even though they still fit, are becoming tighter.

I can hardly wait until it warms up a bit here.
Maybe then I'll be able to lose a little bit of weight
so I can feel like I am in better shape...

[LeftWriteFemme]

Research: A Little Extra Fat May Help You Live Longer


http://www.kuow.org/post/research-little-extra-fat-may-help-you-live-longer

[nycfem]

I saw this too. And I've read it repeatedly elsewhere. It makes a lot of sense to me.

Research: A Little Extra Fat May Help You Live Longer


http://www.kuow.org/post/research-little-extra-fat-may-help-you-live-longer

[LeftWriteFemme]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/2f547c2b93c32029535f2d7efea3f115/tumblr_mh7y86it6L1qzr6v7o1_500.png


http://www.nearsightedowl.com/2013/01/letting-go-of-thin-fantasy.html

[PearlsNLace]

Is there some reason that pantyhose makers all seem to think that 3x & 4x women must all be 5foot 4 or shorter, with long long waist lines?

I'm just fed up with crotchs that stop three inches past my knees yet the top of the things can almost touch my bra strap.

Oh.. and I also want funky colors like Kermit green and tangerine, lace hose and ones with the black line that do ...indeed.. go all the way up.

Why is this so difficult to find?

For the record I'm five nine, with most of my junk in the trunk and at my thighs. If I was skinny I'd probably have a flat chest and still have a booty to jiggle and then some.


Thank you. Rant over.

[Bad_boi]

Found this, Its a good read.

http://queerfatfemme.com/2013/02/15/fat-sex-week-ways-to-be-a-good-ally-to-your-fat-lover/

[Licious]

Been sick, been gone, came through to catch up. Hope all are doing well. *waves*

[Angeltoes]

Although I've been socialized to have weird standards for myself, i'm totally attracted to sexy butches of all sizes.It does not factor in.... i have one gorgeous butch in mind and size is not an issue!

[nycfem]

Sending body lovin' vibes to all my friends!

YHoQuPs7Lvk&list=PLB2A77A12022CFC70

[nycfem]

gotta love this :)


_PwH3Ep8DVQ&list=PLB2A77A12022CFC70

[Spirit Dancer]

I paint a woman's big rounded buttocks so that I want to reach out and stroke the dimpled flesh.

Every child has the spirit of creation. The rubbish of life often exterminates the spirit through plague and a souls own wretchedness.

Painting a young maiden is similar to cavorting with great abandon. It is the finest refreshment.
Peter Paul Rubens

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o185/Silverlineup/rubens_leucippus.jpg

[nycfem]

Here's a kinda interesting article about a lesbian who had weight loss surgery and wrote a memoir about the mental process of it all:

http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/losing-180-pounds-really-does-body-8212-160-163900419.html

[nycfem]

This week a colleague at work was complaining about another colleague and said, "She's just fat and miserable." It was said like, "She's just fat and lazy," or, She's just a fat slob." People have no trouble combining "fat" with all these negative words, and it's so accepted that it's even said to a fat person (me) without a second thought. And this was by a colleague who likes me!

[clay]

(f) (f) (f)
Just stopping by to say hi to all the most beautiful women here!! Clay loves each and every one of you...you are the most gorgeous women ever! from one very admiring BBB (beautiful BIG Butch)...<winks>

[peachy]

I'm really slim with curves and always have been and I always looked enviously at more shapely robust looking women. Especially in my teens when I was kind of Kylie slim. I felt girlish and I wanted to be womanly and sexy.

I think what is usually described as fat is sumptuously sexy to look at. I love looking at women with big thighs and hips whether they are butch, femme or anything else I think it's sexy. Mmm. Someone I fancied a while back came home from travelling and had lost weight - I was really dismayed...I find it annoying when women complain about being too fat. Not annoyed with the women, I feel sad for them. I feel annoyed with society, misogyny, or wherever it is that this horrible attitude originated.

I think Kathy Bates is hot!!

The bigger the better the tighter the sweater...

[Licious]

Still working on body image and self acceptance. This thread is a great help. I live in an upscale community, many have a great deal of money, fashionable but understated clothes, immaculate grooming, perfect salon hair, thin, tiny bodies... even older women are fashionably skinny. My lack of fancy clothing and portly figure stick out even more because of it. And I am still working on loving my plus size. I appreciate all of you, thanks.

[Gemme]

Love THIS (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brittany-gibbons/why-bikini-on-the-internet-body-image_b_2909992.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl6%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D286666) woman!

[peachy]

http://http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8e/Peter_Paul_Rubens_111.jpg

I liked that previous Rubens picture so much that I am back with another one. I love these!! They actually make me feel horny. I'm looking at this image and can feel the nerves in my skin start to open up, and want more. I'm looking at that subtle undulation around the hip and feel like I want to touch it. I want her to turn around so I can look at all of her. It's actually making me want to take my clothes off and get in the picture too. That's the sign of a good artist! (Also I've not had any for a while lol)

Slim women however attractive, sexy, interesting just don't have this effect on me because the physical attraction is not there. There isn't quite the right emotional connect for me to really have the hots for a feminine woman anyway but physically I can still find their bodies sexually arousing.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8e/Peter_Paul_Rubens_111.jpg

[Bad_boi]

Dear Dad, you are awesome and I am very lucky to be your son.
Love, Danny

[SaltyButch]

I recently connected with a woman and during the course of our conversations, she said to me, when I saw your picture I didn't think you would even say hello to me. Now this perplexed me as I couldn't for the life of me understand what was in that picture that would make her think that.

As it turns out, she has been humiliated and rejected by some rude and thoughtless people who think they are God's gift to humanity because she is a plus size woman. Now, I'm flattered that she thinks I'm attractive, because I don't think I'm all that, however, I did let her know that I too have battled weight my whole life. I also told her that I have been with plus size women and find them to be some of the most sensual and sexiest women around.

This woman is attractive in so many ways, her mind, her eyes, her beautiful face and all that would be forgotten by some because she happens to be voluptuous.

Those who choose to walk on by and comment rather than take the time to know these women, shame on you, for they are more attractive than you ever will be and I will embrace them at any opportunity.

[LeftWriteFemme]

Pictures of people who mock me

http://media.salon.com/2013/04/mocking_strangers-620x412.jpg


http://www.salon.com/2013/04/23/pictures_of_people_who_mock_me/?upw

[SugarFemme]

My sister (Who is not typically the most sensitive person) has at times (Including today) made disparaging comments about "fat women" to me. It has always been followed up by, "I don't mean you" or "You are different". I usually ignore the comments and consider the source. But, todays comment was particularly personal to me because she was referring to a woman's "Big tits with no bra on". I could have easily been that woman. I have big tits and lots of times if I am wearing a baggy shirt and my shoulder is bothering me, I will wear no bra. She followed up her diatribe with the usual, "But, I don't mean you". Today I wanted because every time she has made fat comments that were not about me, in my heart they were. But, I am so blessed.....I can lose weight, or not. But hatred and ugliness are forever. Thank Goddess I am only fat!!!! LOL

[SugarFemme]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE her work. Wish I had thought about it.





Pictures of people who mock me

http://media.salon.com/2013/04/mocking_strangers-620x412.jpg


http://www.salon.com/2013/04/23/pictures_of_people_who_mock_me/?upw

[Soft*Silver]

I havent been very busy on BFP, let alone this thread. I had shoulder surgery. My world kinda slowed down quite a bit.

While I was out having surgery and recuperating, some of my best clients who have also become some of my best friends, took over my store and kept it running. Every day it was opened, customers came in or called, to get updates on me. I felt so blessed to have been blessed with the community of women who come into my store. All joined together simply by size initially, and then by love for themselves and each other afterwards. Our store has become a haven for women to find worth for themselves, by offering it to each other.

[Soft*Silver]

how exciting! A SECOND plus size shop has opened, in the nearest large city by me. Its still an hour away but at least people have a choice of TWO shops to go to! I am so thrilled to have another sister store!

When i contacted her, she told me she was happy I didnt see her as a competitor. Please. We bigger women need more stores. And competition only makes us do our best! I cant see any reason to make them feel like they have to worry about me! We are all in this together.

its prom season and while I no longer take prom dresses, I am on the board of a special non profit called Diva Donations. They lease out prom dresses at ridiculously low cost, to gals who cant afford to buy a new dress. For $25 the girl gets a barely used or a brand new gown (stores have been donating them to this cause!) for her prom. When she returns it, she gets all but $10 back. The $10 dry cleans the dress, which is all the dry cleaner involved charges this non profit. The girls also can get jewelry and shoes and purses under the same lease!

It has been wonderful helping the DD closet out. So many plus sized girls come to me for gowns and I just dont carry them. Divas do not have alot of plus sized gowns but they do as best as they can. The smiles on their faces when they step out of the fitting room is priceless.

I have donated racks, mirrors, shoes, purses, new make up, hosiery, etc to get them started. They have almost 2000 dresses and opened up a second branch in the next county. out of the 2000 dresses, only 30 are plus sized....but at least there are 30 for girls to pick from!

Sometimes, the best way to live life is to take the thing that makes people the saddest and make it the happiest for them..

[LeftWriteFemme]

http://dailyoftheday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/480900_451243814958361_1530752660_n.jpg

[SugarFemme]

This. Yep. I LOVE it. Wish I could live it.






http://dailyoftheday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/480900_451243814958361_1530752660_n.jpg

[LeftWriteFemme]

rNXR10-JZCA

[thedivahrrrself]

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/5/20/11/enhanced-buzz-19750-1369063628-1.jpg

From The Militant Baker (http://www.themilitantbaker.com/)

Her entire line of A&F re-imagined ads can be found here (http://www.buzzfeed.com/summeranne/abercrombie-fitch-ads-re-imagined-as-attractive-fat)

[LeftWriteFemme]

e8MVhIiy8UQ

[LeftWriteFemme]

Thought I would share this.


http://villainouslove.wordpress.com/2013/06/10/my-body-is-amazing/

[Soft*Silver]

I have shared with all of you the wonderment of my shop for plus size women. Now I must share the sadness of its closing. I am unable to physically do the work required and cannot keep up with the demands of the shop. I cannot afford to hire help, as it is still a fledgling business. It is breaking my heart to do this but I have not been able to catch up ever since I had complete shoulder replacement surgery. Even three months later, I am still struggling to move clothes from one rack to another, let alone move racks themselves. I cannot reach to get mannequins down to change their outfits. Hanging new items on hangers is so repetitive that its straining my incision area.
I am announcing this to my public on July 1st. I will close August 1st.

I will offer the items back to the consignors. Those who do not want to come get them can agree for them to be donated to local charities.

Even this amount of work is daunting. How will i ever do this?

[MsBluem]

I love my body, every stretch mark, dimple and roll...but today it's been hard to remind myself of the fierce femme fatty that I am.

What do you folks do when you're in this situation?

[nycfem]

On my way to bed, but just throwin' some love to us all!

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii312/pegatje/bbw/Nocturnal.jpg (http://media.photobucket.com/user/pegatje/media/bbw/Nocturnal.jpg.html)

[Soft*Silver]

well, my friends are refusing to let me lock the door on the shop. We are looking for a smaller space, to downsize rather than close. If I can do less, until I can heal up the right way, I can keep the doors open. So we are scrambling to find a space.

I am also getting married in 24 days. I am losing my mind over that too! Why did I think I could put on a wedding??? LOL.

I have gained back some of the weight I lost after my stumach surgery. I am SO not worried about this. I remember when I had my eating disorder and a half a pound would make me so anxious! Shrug. Its so not an issue with me. I love being in my 50s. Better yet, I love accepting myself. You can do that at any age...

[MsBluem]

well, my friends are refusing to let me lock the door on the shop. We are looking for a smaller space, to downsize rather than close. If I can do less, until I can heal up the right way, I can keep the doors open. So we are scrambling to find a space.

I am also getting married in 24 days. I am losing my mind over that too! Why did I think I could put on a wedding??? LOL.

I have gained back some of the weight I lost after my stumach surgery. I am SO not worried about this. I remember when I had my eating disorder and a half a pound would make me so anxious! Shrug. Its so not an issue with me. I love being in my 50s. Better yet, I love accepting myself. You can do that at any age...

So happy to hear you don't have to close your doors!

Congrats on getting married, too! :-)

[Soft*Silver]

we found the cutest little shop! Its half the size of my first shop, but it comes with things we didnt have in the first one, like air conditioning! It was 90 degrees outside today so inside the shop was horrible! And it has a work area. We had no choice but to work on consignments behind the counter...but no more. Now we even have a separate entrance for consignors to use so we can keep them totally off the floor until they are ready to go out ticketed.. And it has PARKING! we only had on street parking before and now we have front, back and side parking. Oh boy am I glad we went looking!

I have someone who is painting it and repairing all the holes the last tenant made w their on the wall fixtures. We are moving in by July 15th...which is pretty amazing since I am getting married July 14th. Think I have enuf on my plate?

The :Pretties who are in the closest circle all knew how much I was struggling with the shoulder. Downsizing is by the better choice than closing all together. However I have to do it, I want to do it to stay open. I can go larger when my arm is better....

[MsBluem]

Going swimsuit shopping Wednesday. Might even try on a bikini or two!

@Miss Tia, I don't know you but I'm super psyched for all the stuff going on for you. Does/will your shop have a place to buy things online?

[Soft*Silver]

Going swimsuit shopping Wednesday. Might even try on a bikini or two!

@Miss Tia, I don't know you but I'm super psyched for all the stuff going on for you. Does/will your shop have a place to buy things online?

once we get moved and settled, we are starting an ebay store. Currently we have some purses on, under teahstreasures. I just brought in a box of stilleto heels in sizes 9, 10 and 11 and they will be added over the next few days. We will have a continual flow of merchandise offered on ebay, sorting by size and category of item. Like, one days postings will be all size 2x tops. Next day will be 3x tops. Etc. We have a work area that is conducive for us to do this now!

http://www.ebay.com/sch/teahstreasures/m.html?item=261233966663&ssPageName=STRK%3AMESELX%3AIT&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2562

[nycfem]

fun for summer! :)

8vVmbo3yWW0&feature=player_detailpage

[SugarFemme]

Gawd...I wish I had the balls (Ovaries LOL) to wear a bikini :)





fun for summer! :)

8vVmbo3yWW0&feature=player_detailpage

[nycfem]

http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk118/Perplexed_photos/you_are_beautiful.jpg (http://media.photobucket.com/user/Perplexed_photos/media/you_are_beautiful.jpg.html)

[LeftWriteFemme]

http://www.misspearlewhite.com/uploads/6/8/4/4/6844250/8551630.jpg
http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5170/5270113423_d974dec61d_z.jpg
http://a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/119/6699fd5b6db94cd0a22081415118825a/l.jpg

[LeftWriteFemme]

Here is a link to the Beautiful Body Book Project

I am posting it as a link due to nudity in the video and I don't want to transgress the TOS, but please if you have the time click the link and watch, it's a wonderful video of moms and kids and beauty. Hope you enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nolE35GHCE4

[Soft*Silver]

I know this is going to sound SO contradictory but the sight of a pregnant body is so repulsive to me. Its a gut reaction, and it stems from my two very difficult pregnancies. One ended in a horrible bloody miscarriage where I almost died, and the second was a live birth (thank GOD) that I lived every day for nine months in misery, physically and mentally. Pregnancy was SO revolting to me that I had my tubes tied as soon as my daughter was born.

In saying this, I could not finish watching that video. I had No problem with any of the photos where a woman was not pregnant. But oh boy....the pregnant photos brought me back...

its funny how some things are triggers for one person and joyous celebrations for others.

[nycfem]

Health at every size, dammit! :)

Here's a fun little piece on Slate (lots of photos with a few wise words!):

http://www.slate.com/blogs/behold/2013/07/28/gabriela_hasbun_photographs_bay_area_fat_activists _in_her_series_fat_fit.html?fb_ref=sm_fb_share_blo gpost

[Soft*Silver]

I started a new thread called Fat Words because I need some help in writing an article. I didnt want to ask in here, because I am asking for words that hurt, and this is SUCH a positive thread and I want to maintain that. But if you would like to help me would you please meander over to the other thread? Caution: This could be triggery. If you can bear it, please help. If not, I totally understand and I am sorry for your pain...

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?p=830593#post830593

[LeftWriteFemme]

8XhTA4xOxCc

[LeftWriteFemme]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-D6tOknz6x_k/UUfuModgZCI/AAAAAAAAI8I/t6dnD1x5jHQ/s1600/2012-06-09_05-21.jpg

http://www.themilitantbaker.com/2013/03/things-no-one-will-tell-fat-girls-so-i.html

[Licious]

I enjoy coming in here, it's been a while since I posted. I was struggling with gaining weight. It happened when I quit a thyroid med, I was happy I could quit, and I had been pudgy before but a lot of weight piled on. I was miserable with the new pounds. I was downright hateful to myself at first, barely looked in the mirror, was begrudging about the fact I needed some larger clothes. I have embraced it more, I am happy to say I am much kinder to myself and feel better. Whether I lose it or not, it will not stop me from doing my best to look pretty and smile at myself in the mirror. Thank you all for a good example. :bow:

[LeftWriteFemme]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/p280x280/1185973_10151528768337821_594099972_n.jpg

I'm not sure why I think this belongs here, but it sure does make me smile......

[MsBluem]

Cruddy self image day that not even wearing my favorite dress can fix.


So I'm going to go home tonight, take a long bubble bath and remind myself that I'm a super babe that deserves everything she's got.

[LeftWriteFemme]

xV6bQa-pW9A

[Soft*Silver]

I am having a wonderful day today. While clothes dont make my magic, I find that the right clothes ARE magical! They just add to mine!

I had a woman and her husband come into my store to sell clothes. I dont normally buy outright, but this time I knew I had to. It was obvious they were struggling financially, and no, not for drugs. I looked over their clothes and WOW, what a treasure! What happened to them that they had to sell such pretty things? I gave them fair market, and a little more. People have helped me out too, when I was destitute. I asked them not to tell folks that I bought off them and they gratefully agreed. I bought one of the dresses they brought in for myself. It looks fantastic on me, and it feels good inside too, that I helped them out.

Its getting close to the holidays. Once the fall starts, I will do food drives for the community. Everyone who brings in a personal care items, gets so much off of their total. We have a large homeless population and there is a program that is helping the homeless with simple things like body lotions and chapstick (they get dried out in the elements)

Sometimes feeling good about yourself has nothing to do with our size...sometimes it has to do with our actions, toward others. I know I too can get lost in the body image struggle, but thats only when I am focusing on myself. I am not the only one on this planet with worries and woes. The people I help dont care if I am size 6, 16 or 26. As long as their lips dont crack and bleed, they are grateful...

so today I love my dress...and me.

[LeftWriteFemme]

I usually just post the link the title and a picture, but I felt this one really needed to be here fully, of course there is more at the link, but this is the bulk of it

YOU’RE NOT THE FIRST TO TELL A FAT PERSON…
PUBLISHED JUNE 25, 2013 BY SLEEPYDUMPLING
Look, I know I have a lot of new readers. I understand that many of you are totally new to the concept of fat activism and fat liberation. I know that when you turn on the telly or open a newspaper, you are told, over and over again, fat = unhealthy and unhealthy = bad therefore fat = bad. So what I’m saying here on this blog is a radical concept to a lot of you. The idea that someone might refuse to believe that dominant rhetoric of fat = bad and actually be happy in their fat body is possibly confronting and confusing for many of you. But it’s not a new concept. Go back to my first post… July 2009. I’ve been banging on about this for four years. In fact, I just noticed that this is my 400th post. So for four years, and with an average of 100 posts per year, I’ve been talking about this stuff for a long time now. And believe it or not, a lot of people have been talking about it for a lot longer than me. In fact, fat activism has its roots in the SIXTIES. Yes, this stuff has been around for 50 years. It’s not new.

So we need to talk about the sudden influx of you leaving comments on this blog that are never going to see the light of day. Because yes, I know for you these things are radical and new… but to we fatties in the fatosphere, we’ve heard the same old same old our whole lives. So not only do they not need to be published here to beat us over the head again and again with the same stuff that we’ve debunked time and time again, but you really don’t need to say them in the first place. WE’VE HEARD IT ALL BEFORE! SERIOUSLY, YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO TELL US THE THINGS BELOW!

Today I’m going to address a few of the most commonly deleted/spammed comments (other than the usual troll bullshit) that I just refuse to allow space on this blog any more, because I do know there are a lot of you newbies out there who have just started reading my blog recently and perhaps think you’re presenting some new idea to myself and other fatties in your comments. This is for you, so that you don’t make a dick of yourself any more in comment threads on fat activist blogs and other sites saying things that every fat person has heard a bajillion times already.

But fat is unhealthy!?

There is a plethora of evidence out there that debunks this myth, I’m not going to go into that here and now. It’s not my job to educate you – I’ve given you lists of resources, off you go to educate yourself. What I am going to say are the following things:

health is not a moral obligation.
Health is not a measure of human worth.
Health is arbitrary – what is “healthy” for one person, is not necessarily the same for the next.
Thin people suffer health issues too
People with illness/injury/disability are just as deserving of dignity and respect as anyone else, no matter what that illness/injury/disability may be or how it is “caused”.
But you’re driving up taxes/health insurance!!

So are people who drive cars, drink alcohol, play sport, have unprotected sex, get pregnant or get old. Among many other things. Fat people pay taxes and for health insurance too, and their taxes and health insurance dollars go into the same pool that yours do. Fat costs on public health are a false cost – if you medicalise something, then it is going to “cost” to “treat” it. If the medical profession focused on treating actual health issues and not trying to make fat people thin, those costs would all but disappear.

Well I’m all for loving your body, but within limits/not for super-obese people!

Firstly, I’m actually not interested in “body love”. Sure, it’s probably good for us to reach a place of love and acceptance of our bodies. But in the face of a world that sends us constant messages that our bodies should be something completely unattainable, I reckon if we can just get to a point where we respect our bodies as remarkable and complex systems that propel us through life, we’re doing well. If someone does love their body, then that’s a bonus and I believe that anyone is allowed to love their body, be they thin, fat or in between.

As for the “limits” to which people are included in fat activism/liberation, it has to be all of us. Not some, not to a certain point, not just the “healthy” ones, not just the ones who are cute/attractive, not just the young, white, straight, able-bodied ones. Every single one of us deserves to live our lives in dignity and peace, without fear of discrimination or vilification based on our weight and size. Every single fat person deserves positive representation. EVERY. SINGLE. FAT. PERSON.

But I’m just concerned about your health/ wellbeing!

No you’re not. If you were, you would be standing beside me fighting fat stigma and advocating for equitable health treatment for all. You don’t give a damn about the health and wellbeing of fat people. You don’t care that fat people can’t get treatment for everything from the common cold through to cancer because they are all blamed on their fatness and they’re just given a diet, not actual treatment. You don’t care that the public vilification of fat people causes depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. You don’t care that fat people are dying because they are so shamed by the medical profession that they can’t bring themselves to go back to the doctor when they are ill. Claiming you care about our wellbeing is a lie.

But you need help! Making “obesity” a disease will get you help and cheap treatment!

We do not need “help” that is against our will or counter-productive to our actual health. We don’t need “treatments” that fail and make us gain even more weight in the long term (diets and other weight loss methods), that butcher our bodies (gastric mutilation surgeries) or deplete our quality of life (weight loss medications that give us heart conditions, make us sick, give us “oily anal discharge” or a plethora of other side effects that are far worse than simply being fat). Many of us don’t need help or treatment at all. Many of us are happy just as we are and are doing fine. What we need is to be treated as human beings, and to have agency over our lives.

But don’t you want to live longer?

Since when has anyone been able to control when they die? We don’t know how long we’ll be here for. We only get one shot at it. So we best fill our lives as best we can, and not put them on hold because we don’t meet some kind of cultural measure of acceptable appearance.

You just want everyone to be fat like you!

Unlike the anti-fat camp, I believe that human bodies are naturally diverse and that some of us are meant to be fat, some are meant to be thin, and the rest are meant to range in between. I don’t want to make other people fat any more than I want to make myself thin. Unlike the anti-fat camp, I believe that all human beings are valid and equal regardless of their size or weight. I like diversity, it keeps things from getting boring.

But… everyone KNOWS [insert anti-fat trope here]

Everyone used to know the earth was flat. Everyone used to know that the sun revolved around the earth. Everyone used to know that smoking tobacco was good for you. We as human beings don’t know everything, and sometimes when we think we know things we’re wrong. Emergent science is showing us already that our pre-conceived notions of fatness have been wrong on many counts (again, off you go to do your own research, you’ve got access to all the same online tools I’ve got access to, I’m not here to do it for you), I’ve spent the past four years learning, reading expanding my world view with these facts, I’m not just making this shit up myself. Don’t make a fool of yourself by hanging on to ignorance.

You’re just making excuses to sit around on your fat ass all day and eat donuts!

If I wanted to do that, I wouldn’t need an excuse to do so. I’d just do it. I’m a grown adult and my life is mine to choose how I spend it. That said, I actually wish I had a little more time to relax and wasn’t so busy all the time. If I COULD find a way to do that, I WOULD take more time to relax, you’d better believe it!

It’s just calories in, calories out, you just need to put down the fork and move your fat ass!

Humans are not bomb calorimeters. Nor are we lawnmowers. Incidentally, do you think that no fat person ever has thought to try diet and exercise to get thin? That at almost 41 years of age it never occurred to me to try “calories in/calories out”? Do you REALLY think you’re the first person to make that suggestion to a fat person? I can guarantee you, it’s highly unlikely you’re even the first person TODAY to make that suggestion to me.

You just lack willpower!

Oh really? I engaged in a full blown restriction and purging eating disorder for twenty years, don’t talk to me about willpower. If willpower actually amounted to anything, I would be thin, ridiculously wealthy and married to Hugh Jackman by now. And put it this way, if you think I don’t have willpower, consider the fact that I haven’t smacked one of the dozens of fat hating douchecanoes I deal with every day in the mouth yet. THAT takes willpower!

But I’ve lost weight and kept it off – you can too!

Define “kept it off”. Have you passed the 5 year mark yet? No? Well since SCIENCE says that 95% of people who lose weight through dieting will regain it and more within 5 years, you need to go away and come back once you’ve kept it off for 5 years. And that’s 5 years solid, not regained it after a year or so, lost it again, regained it again, lost it again, regained, lost (which most of us can do and have done). If you have kept it off for 5 years or more, congratulations for being one of the 5% statistical anomalies. Hopefully you can understand basic percentages and realise that most of us are likely to fall into the 95% bracket.

Not to mention that what you choose to do with your body has no bearing on what I choose to do with mine. You focus on your body and life, I’ll focus on mine.

So there you have it. I’ve taken the time to address the common tropes I find in comments about, and this should save us all a lot of time. Hopefully those of you who want to tell/ask me (or any other fat people) any of the above things can save your breath and not embarrass yourselves publicly, and I shouldn’t have to deal with the same old same old in my inbox every day.

http://fatheffalump.wordpress.com/category/fat-stigma/

[Gemme]

Douchecanoes.

I'm totally stealing that.

[Mopsie]

LeftWriteFemme - Thank you so much for posting this! :thumbsup:

I usually just post the link the title and a picture, but I felt this one really needed to be here fully, of course there is more at the link, but this is the bulk of it

YOU’RE NOT THE FIRST TO TELL A FAT PERSON…
PUBLISHED JUNE 25, 2013 BY SLEEPYDUMPLING

*snip snip*

http://fatheffalump.wordpress.com/category/fat-stigma/

[nycfem]

"Fabulous And Full-Figured Pin-Up Girl? Yes, Please!"

Take a quick, fun scroll-through of this playful art :)

http://www.bust.com/fabulous-and-full-figured-pin-up-girl-yes-please.html?utm_source=bust.com&utm_medium=module&utm_campaign=popular

[nycfem]

This is a beautiful, body positive romantic video with a full-figured femme and a smaller butch. Loved it!

Mary Lambert - She Keeps Me Warm

http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2013/08/mary-lambert-she-keeps-me-warm.html

[Hollylane]

This is a beautiful, body positive romantic video with a full-figured femme and a smaller butch. Loved it!

Mary Lambert - She Keeps Me Warm

http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2013/08/mary-lambert-she-keeps-me-warm.html

This made me cry. It is beautiful. For whatever reason, it reminded me of all those not fat positive thoughts that I still have about my own size(both negative and positive thoughts about my body are a part of my thoughts every day), and made me remember, again today, that I am beautiful, and valuable exactly as I am.

[LeftWriteFemme]

This is a beautiful, body positive romantic video with a full-figured femme and a smaller butch. Loved it!

Mary Lambert - She Keeps Me Warm

http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2013/08/mary-lambert-she-keeps-me-warm.html

I cried while watching this beautiful video then cried while reading the comments of other people crying while watching. Since I am involved in a relationship that looks very much like the one depicted on the screen it holds a special meaning to me now. I hope Mary Lambert makes many, many more videos!

[LeftWriteFemme]

An Open Apology to All of My Weight Loss Clients

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1302220/thumbs/r-WEIGHT-LOSS-large570.jpg?7
I worked at a popular weight loss company for three years. I loved my job there. I LOVED my clients. I loved making a connection and sharing my knowledge. And I learned a lot about nutrition, about dieting and weight loss and what works and what doesn't. My job was to be a weight loss consultant, and I learned that job very well. I can design a 1,200 calorie meal plan, tell you which activities are most likely to make the number on the scale go down, and how many carbs are in a cup of rice. I can talk the diet game like it's my business... because it was. Volumize with vegetables. Don't go too long in between meals. Start with a bowl of broth-based soup. Are you drinking enough water? Did you exercise enough? Did you exercise too much? Let's look at your food journal.

This is not an anti-weight loss company post (although I could write that too). It's a letter to each and every woman that I unknowingly wronged. My heart is beating a little bit faster as I write this, and so I know this needs to be said. The words have been playing in my head for months. Sometimes it just takes time for me to get up the courage to say the right thing.

So here goes:

Dear Former Weight Loss Clients (you know who you are):

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry because I put you on a 1,200 calorie diet and told you that was healthy. I'm sorry because when you were running 5x a week, I encouraged you to switch from a 1,200 calorie diet to a 1,500 calorie diet, instead of telling you that you should be eating a hell of a lot more than that. I'm sorry because you were breastfeeding and there's no way eating those 1,700 calories a day could have been enough for both you and your baby. I'm sorry because you were gluten intolerant and so desperate to lose weight that you didn't put that on your intake form. But you mentioned it to me later, and I had no idea the damage you were doing to your body. I'm sorry because I think I should have known. I think I should have been educated better before I began to tell all of you what was right or wrong for your body.

I'm sorry because I made you feel like a failure and so you deliberately left a message after the center had closed, telling me you were quitting. I thought you were awesome and gorgeous, and I'm sorry because I never told you that. I'm sorry because you came in telling me you liked to eat organic and weren't sure about all the chemicals in the food, and I made up some BS about how it was a "stepping stone." I'm sorry because many of you had thyroid issues and the LAST thing you should have been doing was eating a gluten-filled, chemically-laden starvation diet. I'm sorry because by the time I stopped working there, I wouldn't touch that food, yet I still sold it to you.

I'm sorry because it's only years later that I realize just how unhealthy a 1,200 calorie diet was. I stayed on a 1,200-1,500 calorie diet for years, so I have the proof in myself. Thyroid issues, mood swings, depression, headaches... oh and gluten intolerance that seemed to "kick in" after about a month of eating the pre-packaged food. Was it a coincidence? Maybe.

I'm sorry because you had body dysmorphic disorder, and it was so painful to hear the things you said about yourself. You looked like a model, and all of my other clients were intimidated by you, asked me why you were there because clearly you didn't need to lose weight. And yet you would sit in my office and cry, appalled that a man might see you naked and be disturbed by the fat that didn't actually exist. I'm sorry because you should have been seeing a therapist, not a weight loss consultant.

I'm sorry because you were young and so beautiful and only there because your mother thought you needed to lose weight. And because there were too many of you like that. Girls who knew you were fine, but whose mothers pushed that belief out of you until you thought like she did. Until you thought there was something wrong with you. And the one time I confronted your mother, you simply got switched to a different consultant. I think I should have made more of a stink, but I didn't. I'm sorry because you were in high school and an athlete, and I pray that you weren't screwed up by that 1,500 calorie diet. Seriously, world? Seriously? A teenage girl walks in with no visible body fat and lots of muscle tone, tells you she's a runner and is happy with her weight... but her mother says she's fat and has to lose weight and so we help her do just that. As an individual, as women, as a company, hell, as a nation, we don't stand up for that girl? What is wrong with us? There ain't nothing right about that. Nothing.

I'm sorry because every time you ate something you "shouldn't" or ate more than you "should," I talked about "getting back on the bandwagon." I cringe now every time someone uses that phrase. When did the way we eat become a bandwagon? When did everyone stop eating and become professional dieters? I'm sorry because I get it now. If you're trying to starve your body by eating fewer calories than it needs, of course it's going to fight back. I used to tell you that then, when you wanted to eat less than 1,200 calories a day. The problem was, I thought 1,200 was enough. I thought that was plenty to support a healthy body. Why did I believe that for so long? I'm sorry because I wasn't trying to trick you or play games to get your money. I believed the lies we were fed as much as you did.

And it wasn't just the company feeding them to me. It was the doctors and registered dietitians on the medical advisory board. It was the media and magazines confirming what I was telling my clients. A palm-sized portion of lean chicken with half a sweet potato and a salad was PLENTY. No matter that you had "cravings" afterward. Cravings are a sign of underlying emotional issues. Yeah, sure they are. I'm a hypnotherapist with a past history of binge eating disorder. I KNOW cravings are a sign of underlying emotional issues. Except when they're not. Except when they're a sign that your body needs more food and you're ignoring it. Then they're a sign that your 1,200 calorie diet is horseshit. Then they're a sign that you've been played.

And that's mostly why I'm sorry. Because I've been played for years, and so have you, and inadvertently, I fed into the lies you've been told your whole life. The lies that say that being healthy means nothing unless you are also thin. The lies that say that you are never enough, that your body is not a beautiful work of art, but rather a piece of clay to be molded by society's norms until it becomes a certain type of sculpture. And even then, it is still a work in progress.

I owe you an apology, my former client and now friend, who I helped to lose too much weight. Who I watched gain the weight back, plus some. Because that's what happens when you put someone on a 1,200 calorie diet. But I didn't know. If you're reading this, then I want you to know that you have always been beautiful. And that all these fad diets are crap meant to screw with your metabolism so that you have to keep buying into them. I think now that I was a really good weight loss consultant. Because I did exactly what the company wanted (but would never dare say). I helped you lose weight and then gain it back, so that you thought we were the solution and you were the failure. You became a repeat client and we kept you in the game. I guess I did my job really well.

And now I wonder, did I do more harm than good? When I left, you all wrote me cards and sent me flowers. I still have those cards, the ones that tell me how much I helped you, how much I cared. But I'm friends with some of you on Facebook now, and I look at your photos and you look happy. And beautiful. And not because you lost weight since I saw you last. But because I see YOU now. You. Not a client sitting in my chair, asking for my assistance in becoming what society wants. But you, a smart and lovely woman, who really doesn't need some random company telling her there's something wrong with her.

So I'm sorry because when you walked in to get your meal plan, I should have told you that you were beautiful. I should have asked you how you FELT. Were you happy? Did you feel physically fit? Were you able to play with your kids? There were so many of you who never needed to lose a pound, and some of you who could have gained some. And maybe sometimes I told you that. But not enough. Not emphatically. Because it was my job to let you believe that making the scale go down was your top priority. And I did my job well.

I am sorry because many of you walked in healthy and walked out with disordered eating, disordered body image, and the feeling that you were a "failure." None of you ever failed. Ever. I failed you. The weight loss company failed you. Our society is failing you.

Just eat food. Eat real food, be active, and live your life. Forget all the diet and weight loss nonsense. It's really just that. Nonsense.

And I can't stop it. But I can stop my part in it. I won't play the weight loss game anymore. I won't do it to my body, and I won't help you do it to yours. That's it. End game.

This post originally appeared on Your Fairy Angel.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/iris-higgins/an-open-apology-to-all-of_b_3762714.html

[LeftWriteFemme]

IMAGINE LIVING IN A WORLD WHERE SIZE DOES NOT MATTER

October 4, 2012 at 11:22am

Imagine for a moment that you lived in a world where body size did not matter. What would a day be like in this new and fab world? Let’s imagine in this new and fab world it is your lunch hour and you decided to have a scrumptious treat, you went to your favorite clothing shop to buy some new clothes. You stepped into a closet like structure and you used a computer screen to select the style of clothing you wanted, and then your body was scanned, a little bell, sounded off, and a hanger with the style clothing you wanted was lowered in front of you. You took your clothing selection off the hanger and it was a perfect fit for your body!!! There were no sizes, nothing that could label or identify you by a number. Each style fit just right because of the amazing technology of the body scan, and for once you did not have to deal with the fact that, even when you had accepted the size of your body in the past, every different brand of clothing actually sized their clothing differently, so there had never been consistency as to the size labels.
Feeling so satisfied with just how easy and fun buying a new outfit was, you went to buy yourself a cup of coffee at Starbucks and although you saw the menu listed calories for each food choice, you took this in as merely informative ,as opposed to some test of wills between you and the devil, whom was tempting you with high calorie goodies. Instead, as you glanced at the menu you asked yourself “Am I hungry or do I just want coffee?” The answer to your question was “I just want coffee and I am not hungry.” However, you realize that although you allow your true physical hunger to guide you as when to eat, it is 1:00pm and you were having so much fun clothing shopping that you forgot to eat anything. You realize that your body does need food to function, and you do not want to starve yourself, why would you? Starving is unheard of in this new and fab world! “You then ask yourself what should I eat to give my body energy?”, You opt for a banana, because you are not hungry , have no real craving, but need to give your body some nourishment. You are comfortable with your choice of having only a banana because when you do get hungry later you know you are going to satisfy a craving at Salvatore’s Kitchen Sink Pizza Palace, where Sal will put anything you want on your pizza except for the kitchen sink, and you are going to have a salad and a slice. As your latte is being prepared you notice a chocolate chip cookie that looks yummy, and you ask the server to pack it in a bag for you, because that just might be desert later, if you are hungry and feel for it.
As your latte is still being made, because even in our new and fab world where body size does not matter it still feels like forever when you are waiting for your Starbucks order, you see someone who looks familiar, it is someone that you think you went to high school with, and then you realize it is, her, you nemesis, the one who always got the guy that you liked, who always scored at least one point or more higher than you on the test, and you think maybe if I look away she will not notice me, noticing her. No such luck, she’s smiling and walking right up to you. You know, she is going to annoy the hell out of you, that is for sure, but in our new fab world where size does not matter, you are not worried you are going to look fat or fatter than the last time you saw her. You take in her general appearance but you are not sizing up her body, because really the size of her body has nothing to do with you. She needs to be comfortable in her own skin and you need to be comfortable in your own skin. Neither of you, talk about weight or size. She is Justas annoying as you remembered but it has to do with the size of her personality not the size of her body. After she leaves, you feel no different about your own body one way or the other, because in our new fab world you would not even consider comparing body sizes. Body size comparisons are considered ludicrous! After all, each of us has different genetics, life experiences, reactions to stress and different levels of stress eating (which is soooo much less in our new and fab world, because half of the emotional eating and starving we used to do had to do with trying to meet societal standards concerning body size, as well as our own unrealistic expectations as to what our body size should be), different cultural beliefs and traditions about food.
Your Starbuck’s latte is finally ready and you sip it as you carry your shopping bags to a table and you sit down to think about your after work plans. You and your guy are going swimming at the local YMCA tonight, because you love the way your body feels as you move through the water. You estimate you may be swimming for forty-five minutes but there are no hard and fast time requirements, because you let your body guide you as to how strong it feels today and how much you are going to push yourself. You laugh out loud, as you think to yourself how ironic it is, that now that you live in a world where body size does not matter , you just love exercise for the sake of moving your body releasing stress, and feeling physically strong, as well as the fact that your guy looks very sexy in his swim trunks.
During this day, you never overeat, because you know that food is always available to you, and you can eat according to your true physical hunger and stop when you are full. As a result of this there is none of the following: no “One Last Chance Eating”, because you are always afraid you are going to miss out on your one last opportunity to eat a food you love.; no “Guilt Eating” where you gorge yourself on more food than you are hungry for because you feel guilty about the yummy chocolate cookie you just ate, because you know that you can have just one or several and you have not blown any diet because there are no new diets!!! So you need not gorge yourself with a box of cookies because you feel guilty about the one or several you had; no “Out-Of –Control Cravings” driving you to binge, because now when you have a craving you satisfy it when reasonably possible, and it subsides, as opposed to when you used toeat “healthy” foods to hold off the craving, and end up gorging on fat free, lite, no sugar foods, until you gave in to your craving for a chocolate chip cookie, and ended up eating a box of them and in the end you realized that you ate ten times as much, as you would have eaten, if you would have just satisfied your craving with one or several chocolate chip cookies.
Doesn’t this world sound beautiful, to live in a zip code where matters of body size are not weighing us down? Dare we even dream of such a Nirvana? Yes, every one of us can choose this world for ourselves, every one of us can choose to make peace with the size of our bodies. We can choose to live our lives as I just described in the new fab world where size does not matter. Unfortunately, at first it is not as easy as described here, because although you, I and some others may be choosing to create a life where size does not matter, not everyone is, but if we so choose, to move towards living a life where size does not matter (which does not mean we are going to sit around eating bon-bons,in fact, it means we are going to make healthier choices for ourselves from a place of self-acceptance and self-love and through having a sane relationship with food) the rewards make the challenge s soooooo worth it!!! Karen Cigna

https://www.facebook.com/notes/size-of-my-life/imagine-living-in-a-world-where-size-does-not-matter/10151227528789345

[Licious]

This post moved me.

Heck all the comments here affect me. I usually pop in and say so little, but I seem to have plenty to say now.

I studied nutrition on and off for 30 years, this includes, books, seminars and classes taught by "real" professionals.

One thing I learned was how different every body was biochemically and how that meant there was not a "one size fits all" (pun intended) for the natural treatment of health issues.

In fact, one instructor spent an entire class on "biochemical individuality" to knock it into our heads.

So, the same goes obviously, for weight loss and issues of overall body size/dynamics.

Well, obvious to me, but maybe not to others.

I appreciate this letter the weight loss company employee wrote. This person really became aware, and came forward about it. Bless them.

I thank you all who participate here, you have made a big difference in my life.

Take care everyone and love yourself, you deserve it.


An Open Apology to All of My Weight Loss Clients

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1302220/thumbs/r-WEIGHT-LOSS-large570.jpg?7
I worked at a popular weight loss company for three years. I loved my job there. I LOVED my clients. I loved making a connection and sharing my knowledge. And I learned a lot about nutrition, about dieting and weight loss and what works and what doesn't. My job was to be a weight loss consultant, and I learned that job very well. I can design a 1,200 calorie meal plan, tell you which activities are most likely to make the number on the scale go down, and how many carbs are in a cup of rice. I can talk the diet game like it's my business... because it was. Volumize with vegetables. Don't go too long in between meals. Start with a bowl of broth-based soup. Are you drinking enough water? Did you exercise enough? Did you exercise too much? Let's look at your food journal.

This is not an anti-weight loss company post (although I could write that too). It's a letter to each and every woman that I unknowingly wronged. My heart is beating a little bit faster as I write this, and so I know this needs to be said. The words have been playing in my head for months. Sometimes it just takes time for me to get up the courage to say the right thing.

So here goes:

Dear Former Weight Loss Clients (you know who you are):

I'm sorry.




(post abbreviated, see previous comments for entire post)

[LeftWriteFemme]

It Gets Better, Unless You’re Fat


When you first come out, gay men are eager to let you know that you’re not alone, and that you have a seat at the table. Unless, of course, you’re also fat, in which case, no, you can’t sit with us.



http://www.buzzfeed.com/louispeitzman/it-gets-better-unless-youre-fat

[LexiLove]

I have laughed, cried, and feel more educated after reading this thread. Too much too say, but I cannot put the words together. Instead, Ill say simply that my heart is happy.

Thank you.

[LeftWriteFemme]

POWERFUL BODY IMAGE COMIC REMINDS WOMEN THAT THEY ARE MORE THAN THEIR APPEARANCE


http://www.beautyexists.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/original2.jpg

http://www.beautyexists.net/body-image/powerful-body-image-comic-reminds-women-that-they-are-more-than-their-appearance/

[LeftWriteFemme]

dMjvXOkIreU

[LeftWriteFemme]

jXk3uhlhAVY

[Gemme]

jXk3uhlhAVY

That was awesome!

[LeftWriteFemme]

I just want to begin this post by saying, What the Fuck????

Burlesque Costumes Celebrate 'Curvier Women' Ignored By Mainstream, Says Sartorialist (VIDEO)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/23/burlesque-costumes-sartorialist_n_3976686.html

[Gemme]

I just want to begin this post by saying, What the Fuck????

Burlesque Costumes Celebrate 'Curvier Women' Ignored By Mainstream, Says Sartorialist (VIDEO)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/23/burlesque-costumes-sartorialist_n_3976686.html

Bless his heart. It's in the right place. His foot, however, is firmly engaged in his mouth.

Loved her, though.

[Gemme]

http://i128.photobucket.com/albums/p166/Queenie26/1395907_10151709890013016_504980413_n.jpg (http://s128.photobucket.com/user/Queenie26/media/1395907_10151709890013016_504980413_n.jpg.html)

[Apocalipstic]

I was driving a few weeks ago with a teeny dog sitting on my tummy, paw on my boob. I smiled and loved my tummy and size in that perfect moment!

[nycfem]

Super funny and true: 11 Things You Should Never Say to a Fat Girl

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrity/news/fat-girl?src=soc_fcbks

[LeftWriteFemme]

qSjGouBmo0M

[LeftWriteFemme]

TV-SbPN2JYM

[LeftWriteFemme]

rUOpqd0rQSo

[LeftWriteFemme]

7 "FAT GIRLS CAN'T WEAR THAT" RULES TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY DISPROVEN

http://lovelace-media.imgix.net/uploads/112/e8f866b0-ccab-0131-ab28-5ea3872e9999.jpg?w=1200&h=1200&fit=max&fm=jpg&q=65

http://www.bustle.com/articles/26582-7-fat-girls-cant-wear-that-rules-totally-and-completely-disproven

[LeftWriteFemme]

Science Confirms The Bigger The Belly, The Better The Lover


http://www.queerty.com/science-confirms-the-bigger-the-belly-the-better-the-lover-20140923

[LeftWriteFemme]

Becoming Travolta (Queer Fat Femmes in a World Without Role Models)

http://i0.huffpost.com/gen/1373532/thumbs/n-JANE-LYNCH-OLIVIA-NEWTON-JOHN-large570.jpg

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kimberly-dark/becoming-travolta-queer-f_b_5858520.html

[LeftWriteFemme]

There’s No Morality in Exercise:
I’m a Fat Person and Made a Successful Fitness App


https://lh5.ggpht.com/JikG2xlFDxidBuqGC1HaZ_5V9_4dKSvdTw6MxXWaV4X5ydLv3X 6V9wvpO9qgCg4992yr54Q=s142 ______________ https://lh4.ggpht.com/x3VtfvdmHLmI9NmLYy24JPYIJqLJo-ibxkLXKNp0vuVhZgO-JA4vtkIFr9iZyDuYrFpaPQ=s85

https://medium.com/matter/i-really-love-my-fat-body-eca64ca3ec78

[LeftWriteFemme]

Honoring Leonard Nemoy


http://laughingsquid.com/wp-content/uploads/full-body-project-20080809-181814.jpg


http://mashable.com/2015/02/27/leonard-nimoy-women-photographs/

[LeftWriteFemme]

DMx-GCCJm6A&feature

[LeftWriteFemme]

Examining 12 ‘Good Fatty’ Archetypes We Depend On



http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/03/12-good-fatty-archetypes/

[LeftWriteFemme]

"I Want People to See Fat Women as Sexual Beings. Because We Are."

http://cos.h-cdn.co/15/11/980x1464/gallery_nrm_1426006009-april.jpg

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a37554/april-flores-bbw-porn-performer-fat-acceptance/

[LeftWriteFemme]

This is an Essay About a Fat Woman Being Loved and Getting Laid

http://1.gravatar.com/avatar/56e959c21e7c1c87e04030bb2a5e24f6?s=75&d=http%3A%2F%2F1.gravatar.com%2Favatar%2Fad516503a 11cd5ca435acc9bb6523536%3Fs%3D75&r=PG


http://the-toast.net/2015/01/26/fat-woman-love-laid/#2KB3FHdhjUc5c4Oq.01

[LeftWriteFemme]

EU__9ZU3JpM

[Gemme]

Good for him. That's brave to expose yourself that way. I haven't checked but I hope people weren't complete doucheheads to him.

[LeftWriteFemme]

Fat chicks representing at Burlesque Hall of Fame Weekend. I think they're the only dedicated fat troupe to perform at this event in, at least, 20 years. The first being Big Burlesque and the Original Fat Bottom Revue.



https://vimeo.com/117698064

[LeftWriteFemme]

ME-c0l8oTkY

[Gemme]

19 celebrities respond to body shaming (http://www.aol.com/article/2015/04/16/19-celebs-who-took-aim-against-body-shamers/21173122/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl34%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D645253).

No one's safe from harsh criticism but some of these folks responded with eloquence and grace.

[HoldMeSteady]

19 celebrities respond to body shaming (http://www.aol.com/article/2015/04/16/19-celebs-who-took-aim-against-body-shamers/21173122/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl34%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D645253).

No one's safe from harsh criticism but some of these folks responded with eloquence and grace.

That was a fun read!

[LeftWriteFemme]

This Japanese Plus-Size Fashion Magazine Is Breaking Traditions

http://www.stylehasnosize.com/wp-content/uploads/LaFarfa_japan_plussize2.jpg

http://www.buzzfeed.com/cathyngo/japans-first-plus-sized-fashion-magazine-is-breaking-traditi?utm_term=.cqrXgGMK0j#.ce12ORXqq

[nycfem]

Wow that's so cool!

This Japanese Plus-Size Fashion Magazine Is Breaking Traditions

http://www.stylehasnosize.com/wp-content/uploads/LaFarfa_japan_plussize2.jpg

http://www.buzzfeed.com/cathyngo/japans-first-plus-sized-fashion-magazine-is-breaking-traditi?utm_term=.cqrXgGMK0j#.ce12ORXqq

[LeftWriteFemme]

'Proud Fat Woman' Lea DeLaria Bares It All In Empowering, Emotional Video



C2F2R2vGE98





http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lea-delaria-whats-underneath_55d4e299e4b07addcb454996

[MsTinkerbelly]

Hating the term "plus size", Melissa McCarthy is coming out with a line of clothing made for everyone from size 4 to 28.

That's right, clothes that are as cute and stylish at size 4, as they are at size 28. I wish her luck, we larger women could use some really pretty clothes that are just like what our smaller sisters can choose from.

Wtg Melissa!

[nycfem]

Wow, this was so worth the watch! Wonderful!!!

'Proud Fat Woman' Lea DeLaria Bares It All In Empowering, Emotional Video



C2F2R2vGE98





http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lea-delaria-whats-underneath_55d4e299e4b07addcb454996

[Gemme]

11 celebrity moms shut down fat shamers (http://mom.me/entertainment/21844-11-celeb-moms-who-epically-shut-down-fat-shamers/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl16%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D-1578100205).

I have to say that Pink's response is my favorite.

[Rockinonahigh]

Having being heavy for the last 30years I have just tried to keep it manageable with healthy eating then being as active as my body will allow. That isn't easy when I have injuries that have trashed my back so I just do what I can by having injections in my back to keep most of the pain at bay, a year ago my let knee got into the act, just one more wheel to grind but doable.
Recently my knee doctor and I had a somewhat heated discussion about my weight, my diabetes and in his mind my inactivity. Some where in all this he threw in religion ( not sure where that came from ) he made the mistake of lumping me in with all the other people who are my age (68) and not seeing me as someone who is active ,has a social life ( I play pool three nights a week , play basket ball and work out near daily ). The way I see it is I'm not training for the Olympics but he thinks I should be. I know many people who are near my age and a lot younger that don't do what I do and they don't get this crap about weight. My P.C. say's I'm doing just fine as far as she is conserned , my weight is stable at 260.My goal was to be from 337 to 200 and slowly it will happen , he harps that even 200 isn't enough all I know it's fine with me as I never wanted to be skinny, the leastrI have weighed was 115 when I was in pro rodeo then I never saw myself gaining this much.. life just is what it is. What I went trough to be 115 was a train wreck waiting to happen
(long story). I am what I am take it or leave it, if someone judges me for my weight it is there problem not mine. All I tell them is watch it cause life will catch you if you aren't careful, besides I like me with a little fluff.

[LeftWriteFemme]

tl4COQKwRts

[Kelt]

Boise artist makes a statement about ‘Radical Self-Acceptance’ (http://www.idahostatesman.com/2015/09/04/3969935_boise-artist-makes-a-statement.html?rh=1)

Interesting article about a woman who put herself out there publicly and encouraged others to comment, the embedded video is worth a watch.

Her blog post about the experience is here (http://idaho-style.blogspot.com/2015/09/a-stand-for-self-love.html).

[LeftWriteFemme]

XlxvLzlyJJI

[storyspinner70]

I'm flying down to see my daddi in two weeks, and I always dread the actual trip. Airplane seats are just getting smaller and smaller and I'm not...lol...Yet another case of commerce taking precedence over the human condition. Blah.

[HoldMeSteady]

I'm flying down to see my daddi in two weeks, and I always dread the actual trip. Airplane seats are just getting smaller and smaller and I'm not...lol...Yet another case of commerce taking precedence over the human condition. Blah.

I totally hear you. Have you heard of http://www.seatguru.com/findseatmap/findseatmap.php and http://seatexpert.com/? They're most helpful when you're picking a flight but they can be somewhat helpful when picking a seat. There are some articles online about flying while fat, which I found helpful.

Mostly, just have wonderful time. You'll soon forget feeling squished.:rrose:

[storyspinner70]

I totally hear you. Have you heard of http://www.seatguru.com/findseatmap/findseatmap.php and http://seatexpert.com/? They're most helpful when you're picking a flight but they can be somewhat helpful when picking a seat. There are some articles online about flying while fat, which I found helpful.

Mostly, just have wonderful time. You'll soon forget feeling squished.:rrose:

Ya I love seatguru...i use it all the time...it's really very helpful...i read some of the articles i found too...thanks for that...they were very encouraging... :D

[nycfem]

Tips for having a body positive New Year. Love this!

http://mashable.com/2015/12/28/body-positive-new-year/#A8aEajAZJkq9

[Kätzchen]

I'm not skinny, will never be skinny, don't even want to be skinny. But I like this dress because it has 3/4 length sleeves, has an empire bodice, with the dress flowing beautifully over the hips --- which I have hips that sway. I love the color too.

Actually, if I could have several dresses like this in various colors or pattern print, I'd be thrilled.

Anyway, I love this dress because I think it would look sexy on my body.

http://i00.i.aliimg.com/img/pb/707/329/184/1184329707_875.jpg

[nycfem]

Here is an article about past contestants from the show The Biggest Loser

http://nypost.com/2015/01/25/were-all-fat-again-more-biggest-loser-contestants-reveal-secrets/

[LeftWriteFemme]

Melissa Harris-Perry has a great point about Oprah’s new weight loss ad.

https://upw-prod-images.global.ssl.fastly.net/nugget/568c154ae45b5b00270000e2/attachments/oprahgif1-209ffb10262d9466d745d7a9f7e22d3b.gif?fit=max&ixjsv=1.0.24&ixlib=rb-0.3.5&w=730


http://www.upworthy.com/melissa-harris-perry-has-a-great-point-about-oprahs-new-weight-loss-ad?c=upw1&u=7a96a2d69cc151efdfb9da3d1517bf234a99e51f

[storyspinner70]

Melissa Harris-Perry has a great point about Oprah’s new weight loss ad.

https://upw-prod-images.global.ssl.fastly.net/nugget/568c154ae45b5b00270000e2/attachments/oprahgif1-209ffb10262d9466d745d7a9f7e22d3b.gif?fit=max&ixjsv=1.0.24&ixlib=rb-0.3.5&w=730


http://www.upworthy.com/melissa-harris-perry-has-a-great-point-about-oprahs-new-weight-loss-ad?c=upw1&u=7a96a2d69cc151efdfb9da3d1517bf234a99e51f

Yeah I wasn't too pleased with it either. Oprah has made a misstep with that. It sends entirely the wrong message. The person you're going to be when you're skinny is exactly the same person you are when you're fat - just in smaller clothes. There's no one different lurking inside your fat. Unless you're so heavy you physically can't do things, it's an old and outdated concept of size and how a person lives their life. I was very very disappointed in that ad.

[Jane Bond]

Here is an article about past contestants from the show The Biggest Loser

http://nypost.com/2015/01/25/were-all-fat-again-more-biggest-loser-contestants-reveal-secrets/

I always wondered about the training methods on that show. I had a trainer for a while and if he tried to work me that hard I would have fired him. I'm not surprised that a lot of former contestants have regained weight--anyone would lose weight under the show's Draconian torture and starvation methods.
I think losing weight is basically just deciding to move around more and eat less. Besides, I think nice, rounded, feminine women are beautiful. Those super skinny ones can often be a little cranky from all that food deprivation.

[Gemme]

A conversation (http://www.bluestockingsboutique.com/blogs/the-bluestockings-blog/86014468-pretty-hurts-talking-plus-size-body-positivity-with-lingerie-industry-consultant-holly-jackson?utm_source=Landing+Page+Sign+Up&utm_campaign=33c75e4622-12_162_16_2016&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_ebdf8ac3bf-33c75e4622-232902597&mc_cid=33c75e4622&mc_eid=9987e31787#gs.RTR=2D4) about body positivity in fashion and media.

It's long but definitely interesting.

[Spirit Dancer]

A couple of years ago I discovered yoga for people of size
and the ability to benefit from yoga both in body and mind.
Found this link today and thought I would share it here.

http://www.fatyoga.org/

[Gayandgray]

BUMP.......

[Soft*Silver]

this use to be one of my favorite threads! I am glad it was bumped today!

I had to close my plus sized clothing store because I simply could not do it any longer. It was physically taxing, especially after all those surgeries I had (2 stumach, 2 eye, 2 shoulder). I really miss it, especially the women. I miss hearing all their stories and having so many strong women around me daily! I love my job now, but I am a children's therapist. I dont get a chance to work with adults often but when I do, weight issues always comes up if its a woman...

I am a bit overweight, but not as much as I use to be. Having a horse for a couple years really helped build my muscles and take off some weight. I started a FB group for plus size horse riders...its really tough to handle the criticism we get for being overweight. My horse was part draft horse and was built to carry me, but people can be very hurtful regardless. When I gave up my horse tho, I gave her up because of my health problems, not because of the naysayers about my weight.

I was talking to a friend the other day, and she was complaining she had gained SO much weight (like only 20 lbs!) and wanted to lose weight to be a role model for her grand daughter. We were at lunch and I almost choked on my food. Really??? You want to role model that skinny is the only way a woman should look? Rather than attack that premise, I simply said that for my grand daughter, I wanted to be the kind of grand mother I once had...my grand mother had full hips that I could climb up on and a soft belly I could feel warmed by, and large arms that when they embraced me, it felt like the safest place in the world. I wanted to be large against her small and let her feel the the soft warmth of loving flesh. After all, we girls learn how to love our own selves by the laps we crawl up on...

I stunned my friend. She ordered dessert....

[Soft*Silver]

wondering today, how many of us have memories as fat children, of being given toys and stuff instead of candy in our easter baskets?

sometimes people dont have to say IT.

[Soft*Silver]

someone many years ago, asked why so many femmes in the butch femme world were fat.

I was pretty dumbfounded because I hadnt noticed... I was too busy admiring my sisters for how beautiful they were/are.

Sometimes they do indeed say IT.

[Gayandgray]

I find it so crazy how people will actually starve themselves just to be thin!!!!! I have a friend that does that. I want to lose weight,don't get me wrong, because I'm obese. However, I'm NOT going to starve myself just so I can be skinny and wear freaking skinny jeans and look cute. If I'm hungry I'm going to eat, dammit! I need to give up junk food or at least cut back, but I'm not going to go to extreme.

[LeftWriteFemme]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/6b/eb/bd/6bebbd59dab85afdbd1deb6710c4031c.jpghttps://tericochrane.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/swirly-feet-1-450x300.jpeghttps://fatswimming.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/shoog4.jpghttps://www.chronicle.com//img/photos/biz/photo_2370_landscape_650x433.jpg

[Kätzchen]

http://c7.staticflickr.com/9/8153/7279700294_96fcae60db.jpg

(Photo Credit: Flickr)


Venus of Willendorf (Wiki-Link) (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_of_Willendorf)


I spent some time today, reading posts here, which led me to explore the topic of Fat Positivity. My online search culminated in reading about Venus of Willendorf, an stone age female figurine, which was found back in August of 1908, at an paleolithic excavation site near Willendorf, an small village in Lower Austria, near the town of Krems. The figurine was sculpted from Oolitic Limestone, and it is estimated to belong to the time period between 28,000 BCE to 25,000 BCE; but upon later examination, archaeologists believe the core of limestone it came from dates back to 30K years before the figurine's discovery.


To me, she's beautiful. She represents a period of time when there was no mirrors to examine one's physical appearance, yet it's speculated that pools of water was the only way anyone could know what their body's looked like.


Keeping in mind, questions posed by Nycfem, in an prior post in this thread (years ago), I examined the text provided in the wiki-link article, for ideas surrounding fat shaming or phrases of thought revealing shame about the notion of being fat. It's hard to know the gender of the person who created the article on Wiki; but I thought it was an positive sign that one of the curators of the stone age sculpture was female: Catherine McCroid. McCroid hypothesized that figurines, such as this one in particular, was created as an "self portrait" made by women from that time period.


As for fat shaming rhetoric posed by either people in our lives or via things we see in print or by things we observe other's say about women who are fat? I can say that for most of my life, I've been told that I'm morbidly obese, that my fat will kill me, that I'm not beautiful, that if I were not fat, I'd be beautiful.



I say to myself that I'm beautiful. I know that I am beautiful because I choose to cultivate all the qualities and traits I possess to be as beautiful as they can be.... even if by other's standards my idea of beautiful is not beautiful to them. I think what matters the most to me is that although I will never be skinny, and although I may lose some weight, that my fat body is as beautiful as it can be, from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet and end of my toes. I'm kissable. I'm squishy. I'm loveable and valuable as an fat woman. I am the portrait of my own beauty.

Venus of Willendorf inspires me as much as all my sisters in the community.

I believe we are beautiful as we are and I celebrate being fat as a positive sign of our collective self acceptance and unconditional love for the state of existence each one of us experience in our lives every day.

Sending Femme Sister love to all,

Kätzchen :bunchflowers:

[clay]

Thank you Katzchen for posting & bringing this thread back on main page.

For me, I love BBW women. It is all those beautiful facets of them, I find so beautiful. I always have!

In the last year, I have been made aware that my very own fat (daddy belly) has made me realize just how sexy & comforting my girth, as I lie on my own BBW, is to her. And even more so, just how much a daddy belly is to a femme.....:). I still smile about that! Thank you all for making me aware of this....I heart you all.

To all who come into the Fat Positive Lounge, let me wrap that deliciousness all over my own self....yummm...just decadent!!

[Kätzchen]

I recently came across a bunch of Fat Positive Podcasts.... and if anyone would like to hear them, here are a few links:

Friend Of Marilyn (https://player.fm/series/friend-of-marilyn-2456638)

Friend of Marilyn (FOM) is a fat positive radio show. It provides counter programming to the normative discourses on fatness and obesity in our culture, hosting conversations in which accepted ideas and stereotypes about fatness are challenged. FOM believes that safe spaces for fat people are important, and the show is committed to providing a forum where fat people get to speak for themselves (not just have their lives thin-splained by others). FOM began in August of 2011, and is celebrating 5yrs by going on a tour around the world. According to the metrics collected by MPR, Friend of Marilyn has over 500 regular listeners, and is ranked in the top 5 programmes produced by the station.



Secret Dinosaur Cult (https://player.fm/series/secret-dinosaur-cult) (warning, this podcast is explicit)

A live comedy podcast by comedians Sofie Hagen and Jodie Mitchell, in which they explore identity in order to try and find out who they are - through the medium of dinosaurs. Hilarious, highly addictive and heavily dinosaur-based. SOFIE HAGEN is a stand-up comedian, author and host of 'Made of Human Podcast' and former co-host and co-creator of 'The Guilty Feminist' and a fat activist. JODIE MITCHELL is a stand-up comedian, improviser and a drag king in the drag king troupe Pecs. She is part of the radical and queer stand-up comedy collective The Lol Word.


To find more podcasts of a variety of interest, here is the main page to all types of Fat Positive podcasts:
PlayerFM LINK (https://player.fm/podcasts/fat-acceptance) ( <<<<~~~ click me).

:blueheels:

[Gemme]

Saw this today.

You go, girl!

EgTshfSvM0A