Why can't common sense and good will be more, well, common?

[Linus]

:overreaction: Seriously. Why are we only polite for a day or two out of the whole year? Why can't we have that kind of generosity and kindness year round (sans the consumerism)? This popped into my head as I was doing research for a course I'm teaching next week. I'm listening to holiday music with the window open (it's fairly mild here in NYC) and cranking the music louder and louder to drown out the cars honking on our little narrow street trying to move forward. And it just struck me as one of those little Why? questions.

I kinda wish I had huge speakers I could aim towards the street in hopes that perhaps people might realize that patience, politeness and good cheer can go a long way to making the day better than honking unnecessarily (seriously if you haven't moved in the last 5 min of honking you've done, it's probably time to change tactics). :soapbox:


Sigh.

Good will and happiness to all, all year long and beyond. :praying:

[Apocalipstic]

Ohh I so agree!

It seems insane to see people fighting over Christmas presents in store and the blowing of horns really freaks me out.

Peace and Harmony! :)

[MrSunshine]

I think people in the world just need more Valium. It's a cure all for every type of assholeyism.

[Andrew, Jr.]

It reminds me of the movie "It's a Wonderful Life".

Some people are happy being evil, nasty, miserable, and mean. I say find joy in life. :anothersnowman: :smelling-flower:

Love,
Andrew

[Diva]

I think people in the world just need more Valium. It's a cure all for every type of assholeyism.



Yes, I agree.....perhaps cranky assholettes should be issued a valium drip for various levels of asshattery.....

The more one shows their ass, the bigger & more frequent the drip.

:nurseshot:

[NJFemmie]

So, I had to get the oil changed on my car today... had my coupon in my pocket and was ready to go. I go to pull out said coupon to give them a call before I left work - and behold - I lost my damn coupon. So ... I jumped online, found their site and printed two new ones ... thinking Mare needs to get Her truck done too.

I walk into the place and it's just me, and two other men. The older gentleman sat next to the younger one and stirred up a conversation. Turns out the old fella had a bunch of different coupons and gave the guy one for his tire change.

Old fella sits next to me and asks "so ... what are you in for?" After a slight chuckle I reply - "oil change". He says "oh, that's what I am getting done, sorry I only have one coupon for that...." I had my own, it was all good.

I reach in my pocket and hand him my $10 off coupon to replace his $7 off one. Hey, three bucks is three bucks. He was kind enough to share what he had - and you don't see that kind of kindness too often anymore. And ... maybe he can hand his $7 off coupon to someone that doesn't have one.

Reminded me that good will is not long gone, it merely gets lost in the shuffle. It takes the action of one to create a snowball effect.

[Gemme]

So, I had to get the oil changed on my car today... had my coupon in my pocket and was ready to go. I go to pull out said coupon to give them a call before I left work - and behold - I lost my damn coupon. So ... I jumped online, found their site and printed two new ones ... thinking Mare needs to get Her truck done too.

I walk into the place and it's just me, and two other men. The older gentleman sat next to the younger one and stirred up a conversation. Turns out the old fella had a bunch of different coupons and gave the guy one for his tire change.

Old fella sits next to me and asks "so ... what are you in for?" After a slight chuckle I reply - "oil change". He says "oh, that's what I am getting done, sorry I only have one coupon for that...." I had my own, it was all good.

I reach in my pocket and hand him my $10 off coupon to replace his $7 off one. Hey, three bucks is three bucks. He was kind enough to share what he had - and you don't see that kind of kindness too often anymore. And ... maybe he can hand his $7 off coupon to someone that doesn't have one.

Reminded me that good will is not long gone, it merely gets lost in the shuffle. It takes the action of one to create a snowball effect.

This made me happy and I didn't even GET a coupon, whether $7 off or $10! :)

[Jet]

people are crazy and things are getting crazier

[Andrew, Jr.]

I believe in paying it forward, but people are just too sick or crazy nowadays to even do that. Heck, good samaritans are no longer even thinking of being good samaritans any longer. :help: It's sad. Times sure have changed, and not for the better imho.

Personally, I think everyone should volunteer at Christmas or Thanksgiving. And involve homeless children. It opens up hearts and minds.

[SassyLeo]

So, I had to get the oil changed on my car today... had my coupon in my pocket and was ready to go. I go to pull out said coupon to give them a call before I left work - and behold - I lost my damn coupon. So ... I jumped online, found their site and printed two new ones ... thinking Mare needs to get Her truck done too.

I walk into the place and it's just me, and two other men. The older gentleman sat next to the younger one and stirred up a conversation. Turns out the old fella had a bunch of different coupons and gave the guy one for his tire change.

Old fella sits next to me and asks "so ... what are you in for?" After a slight chuckle I reply - "oil change". He says "oh, that's what I am getting done, sorry I only have one coupon for that...." I had my own, it was all good.

I reach in my pocket and hand him my $10 off coupon to replace his $7 off one. Hey, three bucks is three bucks. He was kind enough to share what he had - and you don't see that kind of kindness too often anymore. And ... maybe he can hand his $7 off coupon to someone that doesn't have one.

Reminded me that good will is not long gone, it merely gets lost in the shuffle. It takes the action of one to create a snowball effect.

I was buying cat food the other day and realized the coupon I had was for the xlarge bag and I only needed the small bag. There was a guy buying the same food as I was in the xlarge bag, so I offered it to him. He said sure and thanked me. $3 is $3!

[Vlasta]

I really must be getting old or ancient . I used to be pissy about a lot of things . For example, I do have a long commute to work and to a school . Not actually so much mileage , but insanity of the Atlanta traffic . I am always trying to beat a time to get to school or work .

Sometimes , I have some slow driver in the front of me . First, I suddenly start thinking come on and then immediately I am thinking what if this person is elderly , not feeling good or have something bad happen at home , a sick family member or whatever ?

Also , I don't think out there are so many people they are crazy , but time we are living in right now are crazy . People lost they jobs , houses in foreclosures , how to place food on table for family and much more .I feel people are so preoccupied with a basic needs right now that for some it's hard to overcome they stresses . By no means I am not saying it's ok to be rude and not to have a common courtesy to others , but a little understanding goes a long way too . ... just my opinion .

[Duchess]

I think people in the world just need more Valium. It's a cure all for every type of assholeyism.

With a Seroquel chaser..:cheer:

Seriously, this thread is definitely food for thought. I do agree Linus that patience, politeness and good cheer can go a long way. Why stress over things we have absolutely no control over? :hangloose:


Duchess

[Rockinonahigh]

Good old fashion politeness is something not seen much these days with ppl in such a hurry to go hear and there.My grannie whould haunt me with threats of a good swating with a pecan tree switch if I was rude to anybody.I honestly am not shure ppl are taught maners like they use to..the world is just needing a hugh dose of prozack.
Rockin

[Diva]

I went to the store tonight....and in front of me was a woman buying Christmas for her child/children......her card didn't work. She was in tears.....

And it was a card of a friend and she couldn't remember the pin number. And then couldn't reach the friend.

I would have given ANYthing to have been able to afford to buy her stuff for her.......however, having been out of a job myself (my little private school closed and let us all go), I couldn't do it. I don't have small children anymore.....my daughter's getting Spaghettio's and chocolate! lol (And she's happy!)

I felt her pain and hated that I was helpless to do anything for her.

[NJFemmie]

Why stress over things we have absolutely no control over? :hangloose:


I say this ALL the time. But there are times where one can feel and understand the frustration.


I was buying cat food the other day and realized the coupon I had was for the xlarge bag and I only needed the small bag. There was a guy buying the same food as I was in the xlarge bag, so I offered it to him. He said sure and thanked me. $3 is $3!

Right on! lol ... It's the simple gestures in life that really make a difference.

This made me happy and I didn't even GET a coupon, whether $7 off or $10! :)

Ever try to do something nice for someone and all you get is a nasty or negative response back? It's happened to me many times, and it makes me want to feel that it isn't even worth the effort to try and be nice to people.

I think it's all about response. If people were just a little more receptive in a positive way ... the negativity wouldn't be so contagious.

[Diva]

Ever try to do something nice for someone and all you get is a nasty or negative response back? It's happened to me many times, and it makes me want to feel that it isn't even worth the effort to try and be nice to people.

I think it's all about response. If people were just a little more receptive in a positive way ... the negativity wouldn't be so contagious.

Perhaps they were embarrassed.....I know that there is a certain amount of pride involved when asking for help. I hate having to ask for help myself. H~A~T~E I~T.

So if You offer help to someone who doesn't know You, perhaps it's the pride speaking, and not their heart at all.

It's worth the effort, NYJ, I know You know this......because someday, You're gonna try that one more time, and be welcomed with tears of thankfulness.

[NJFemmie]

Perhaps they were embarrassed.....I know that there is a certain amount of pride involved when asking for help. I hate having to ask for help myself. H~A~T~E I~T.

So if You offer help to someone who doesn't know You, perhaps it's the pride speaking, and not their heart at all.

It's worth the effort, NYJ, I know You know this......because someday, You're gonna try that one more time, and be welcomed with tears of thankfulness.



I can understand that - and usually that is the first thought that pops into my head. I hate asking for help, or being put in a position where I NEED help. It's an uncomfy feeling, yes.

*smile* I still do it no matter how they respond to it. It makes ME feel good inside. I usually get the :wtf: looks, and I just ignore it.

But some days... people just make me wanna go :kungfu::ninja: on their ass! lol

[Semantics]

I've noticed something a little different this year.

As someone who works a lot with social service agencies, I've found that people coming in and asking for help are especially grateful and humble this year in comparison to past years.

[NJFemmie]

Mare works in an incredibly busy retail store. On Black Friday, She was amazed how people were actually going out of their way to be extra nice.

She was saying that various people through out the day made it up to the register being short a few dollars/cents ... She said it was refreshing to see people digging into their pockets to lend a helping hand.

[Jess]

I love seeing the choice to just be kind in action!
My girl reminds me sometimes when I have " lost my manners".. It's kind of a joke with us, but it does make me more conscious of my interactions in the world.
Being one of those butch women who often get stared at.. whispered about, etc. I had found myself pulling away from the world at large, and it sometimes takes a bit of a deep breath for me to be comfortable enough to even offer a helping hand. Even then, I am sometimes just met with a blank stare as i can tell when whoever I am doing something for is "sizing me up".
Sometimes I need to be kind to folks as much for me as for them.

Great thread! Thanks!

[Rockinonahigh]

Last week I was at the grosery store and this young couple was in the check out line,both looked like they hadnt had a meal in a while,the fue things they bought wouldnt last long.Ya know we all have had times we were short of cash and done with less..anyway they paid for the thigs they bought and left..I felt for them big time.As I was going to my car I noticed them siting in there car eating what they bought,looked like they were liveing in it as well..u know we all should put the buggy back in the place its suposed to go,so made a round about trip to do that wich took me past there car..I had a 50 in my pocket and was headed to the pool hall for the night..well its a woinderful thing to walk past someones car and find a 50 laying on the pavement next to it..I knocked on the window ..hey man u droped this,u must have its next to your car,it shure isnt mine.I didnt give them time to say much..I gave it to them and walked away.people would say im nuts to do this but I could help and I did..it did more for me than u will know to help.
Rockin

[Gemme]

I say this ALL the time. But there are times where one can feel and understand the frustration.

Right on! lol ... It's the simple gestures in life that really make a difference.

Ever try to do something nice for someone and all you get is a nasty or negative response back? It's happened to me many times, and it makes me want to feel that it isn't even worth the effort to try and be nice to people.

I think it's all about response. If people were just a little more receptive in a positive way ... the negativity wouldn't be so contagious.

I've had this happen too. Some people just aren't receptive, no matter the gesture.

Perhaps they were embarrassed.....I know that there is a certain amount of pride involved when asking for help. I hate having to ask for help myself. H~A~T~E I~T.

So if You offer help to someone who doesn't know You, perhaps it's the pride speaking, and not their heart at all.

It's worth the effort, NYJ, I know You know this......because someday, You're gonna try that one more time, and be welcomed with tears of thankfulness.



It depends upon what's being offered/taken and where it is, I think. People in the South seem to look down upon gestures that would be deemed 'charity' but are more open at giving and receiving gestures that would be considered 'good manners'. Up here, I've found that there's nowhere near the stigma associated with shopping at Goodwill, going to the food bank, etc. However, the level of common courtesy ebbs and flows more up here. There are a lot of transplants up here and that's where most of the juice in my kindness meter comes from. So, they are more tolerant up here but less nice.

*shrug*

[T D]

It's interesting in that once you do a few nice things for perfect strangers you find out that it usually takes very little to help a person out.

I live on a fix income, but I've been known to loan people money, buy them things they truly need, scrounge through my cupboards and freezer to provide for others, etc. If I have more than they do, I'm very open to sharing.

I truly believe what goes around comes around, it sometimes takes a while, but it always happens ;)

[Diva]

<snip> People in the South seem to look down upon gestures that would be deemed 'charity' but are more open at giving and receiving gestures that would be considered 'good manners'.
*shrug*


What are you basing this on?

[Gemme]

What are you basing this on?


More than 20 years in Florida plus most of my first 11 years in Mississippi.

Of course, I was only speaking from my ME space and my own personal experiences.

[NJFemmie]

It depends upon what's being offered/taken and where it is, I think. People in the South seem to look down upon gestures that would be deemed 'charity' but are more open at giving and receiving gestures that would be considered 'good manners'.

*shrug*

This applies to just about anywhere. Pride.
So I guess one would have to disguise what would be considered charity as a good, common gesture just to get by... lol. (I kind of think of them as one and the same at times).

[Gemme]

This applies to just about anywhere. Pride.
So I guess one would have to disguise what would be considered charity as a good, common gesture just to get by... lol. (I kind of think of them as one and the same at times).

Very true. :rose:

[Diva]

I know I HATE it when I feel like someone feels sorry for me. H.A.T.E. I.T. And this last year, it has been rough financially.....and I have had to swallow my pride a few times. It's been a good lesson for me to be on the receiving end of people's kindness. And makes me so thankful for the "things" which I DO have, and for the people and love in my life. That makes me pretty wealthy, truth be told. :)

[julieisafemme]

Jews have the "fake it till you make it" rule where you just give and receive. You don't have to like the giving or receiving. You just do it because it is a mitzvah. Not a good deed or ma'asim tovim but a commandment. So it is the intention to do right and following up with action that makes the difference. I like this because it allows me to follow a rule rather than make judgement calls or expect something back. Where I have the hardest time is looking past myself and being right. If I can do that and follow the rule it is amazing how the outcome of a situation can change.

So why can't common sense and good will be more common? Because it is hard! If I could love, accept and cut myself some more slack it becomes easier.

[homoe]

Yup, just seems like common sense has gone out the window! I'm mainly referring to the lunch lady who dared to give a free meal to a hungry student and was fired for it! R E A L L Y ????????? The school district's response was that there are "programs" that help those in need! Give me a break!!!!

[Shystonefem]

Last week I was at the grosery store and this young couple was in the check out line,both looked like they hadnt had a meal in a while,the fue things they bought wouldnt last long.Ya know we all have had times we were short of cash and done with less..anyway they paid for the thigs they bought and left..I felt for them big time.As I was going to my car I noticed them siting in there car eating what they bought,looked like they were liveing in it as well..u know we all should put the buggy back in the place its suposed to go,so made a round about trip to do that wich took me past there car..I had a 50 in my pocket and was headed to the pool hall for the night..well its a woinderful thing to walk past someones car and find a 50 laying on the pavement next to it..I knocked on the window ..hey man u droped this,u must have its next to your car,it shure isnt mine.I didnt give them time to say much..I gave it to them and walked away.people would say im nuts to do this but I could help and I did..it did more for me than u will know to help.
Rockin


You are definitely NOT nuts.... that was awesome.

[Shystonefem]

Yup, just seems like common sense has gone out the window! I'm mainly referring to the lunch lady who dared to give a free meal to a hungry student and was fired for it! R E A L L Y ????????? The school district's response was that there are "programs" that help those in need! Give me a break!!!!


Not much makes me angry but, when I saw this, I was pissed.

[Uli]

Yup, just seems like common sense has gone out the window! I'm mainly referring to the lunch lady who dared to give a free meal to a hungry student and was fired for it! R E A L L Y ????????? The school district's response was that there are "programs" that help those in need! Give me a break!!!!

Not much makes me angry but, when I saw this, I was pissed.

In case it helps either of you feel better, I read yesterday that the school district offered her job back to her. I'm not sure if she accepted or not.

[Kätzchen]

****** B U M P ******

[homoe]

Last week I was at the grosery store and this young couple was in the check out line,both looked like they hadnt had a meal in a while,the fue things they bought wouldnt last long.Ya know we all have had times we were short of cash and done with less..anyway they paid for the thigs they bought and left..I felt for them big time.As I was going to my car I noticed them siting in there car eating what they bought,looked like they were liveing in it as well..u know we all should put the buggy back in the place its suposed to go,so made a round about trip to do that wich took me past there car..I had a 50 in my pocket and was headed to the pool hall for the night..well its a woinderful thing to walk past someones car and find a 50 laying on the pavement next to it..I knocked on the window ..hey man u droped this,u must have its next to your car,it shure isnt mine.I didnt give them time to say much..I gave it to them and walked away.people would say im nuts to do this but I could help and I did..it did more for me than u will know to help.
Rockin

:goodpost:

[homoe]

I agree, helping someone out in need is SO satisfying!