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View Full Version : BIC pens for her sparks snarkfest on Amazon


Kobi
08-31-2012, 02:21 PM
Ok, BIC created a line of pens made just for Her. It is part of Bic’s new line of pens, called “Bic Cristal for Her,” a ballpoint pen that comes in an array of pastel colors (though only blue or black ink, for now).

On Amazon, the company describes the pen as having a “thin barrel to fit a women’s (sic) hand,” making it an “elegant design—just for her!” The Bic website also notes that the pen features a clear tinted barrel “for visible ink supply,” because apparently women can’t otherwise tell when a pen has run out of ink.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41cVW31yoaL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

The pens have sparked the funniest tongue in cheek customer reviews I have seen in a very long time. Yes, I did go thru 40 pages of comments to find my favorites. Deal with it. Check these out:



~ Forget the Fountain of Youth! I simply must have these, for they will restore my youthful glow, as well as my ability to menstruate!

~I'm afraid I can give this pen only one star, pertaining to the distinct lack of unicorns and rainbows that emerge from the end of this ballpoint. I put this pen to paper expecting to be transported immediately to a mystical world populated by tampon fairies and rivers of glistening, flowing utero wall. Instead I found myself writing.

~I have never bought anything quite like it. I held the pen for the first time and was instantly transported to a zen-like state. Lotuses appeared and my third eye opened. I heard the voice of God soon after. It is a must-have for anyone who is tired of uncomfortable pens.

~Personally I like to do all my writing with a dagger dipped in the blood of sexist dinosaurs, but that's just me.....

~This seemed to work ok on low flow days but on heavy flow days I ended up looking like a crime scene. I still prefer Playtex Gentle Glide Tampons...

~This pen only writes 77 words for every 100 words the man pens can write. EQUAL PEN FOR EQUAL WORDS!

~This pen neither strong enough for a man nor PH balanced for a woman. You know what else isn't PH balanced for a woman? Terrorism.

~Before I buy, I wonder if the BIC for Her pen contains the same amount of ink as the regular BIC pen. Fairly, it should. Or would that make the BIC for Her pen too heavy? Does anyone know?

~This is a very functional pen. My only concern is that it might be a little TOO empowering for women. I would suggest swapping out the ballpoint tip for a rubber stamp that says, "Yes sir," or "I heart pink," or "Can you please open this jar for me?"

~Very PC I'm sure to have a For Her pen, but where are the transgender pens? I'm torn between a For Her bic and the standard masculine variety. It's as if Bic think transgender people don't exist.

~Freud was right - I have been suffering from pen envy as being a woman I have the wrong gender/writing implement alignment. I can never have a real pen like men have so thank you Bic for curing my dysfunctional psyche by giving me a "pen" of my own...

~This is NOT a pen for ladies. The outside of the pen is pink and purple but the ink is BLACK, and has no glitter or shimmer AT ALL. Bic has completely missed its target audience.

~ I am a full-figured gal with full-figured hands, and I need a pen built for me. The Bic For Her made my rear end look enormous! It barely fit me. My best friend, who still buys clothes in the Junior section, loves these, but she looks great using ANY pen. I hate her sometimes.

~I was wondering if you could make Bic For Her ribbed for my pleasure?

~Bic have inadvertantly opened Pandora's box and empowered women everywhere to vote. This will herald a whirlwind of change.

~Finally, a pen made specifically for the weaker sex (giggle, giggle. I said sex). We have come a long way. To think, yesterday, as I was preparing mastadon stew for my mate, I had no idea that today there would be a tool that would allow me to write! Perhaps, and one can only hope, women will soon be able to vote, own property, decide whether or not to have children. The possiblities are endless. Thank you, Bic!

~I used my new pen to write a letter to my local Congressman requesting equal pay for women and a preservation of my reproductive rights... and then the ground began to shake, the world around me crumbled into flames and molten stone, everything went black, and I was torn asunder from the universe. Did I use it wrong????

~How come they get "special" pens of their own? Are there no pens for him as well? Not impressed. Can we have our own colours such as grey or brown and all rough and manlike?

~But wait a moment - once the women get the pens, what are they supposed to write on? Man paper?

~I thought this was a tampon and now there is scribbling all over my vagina.

~I am very disappointed with this product. Whilst it did have an "easy glide", it did not remove any hairs and left me with blue lines from my ankle to my knee. Not up to your usual standards Bic.

~As I man I object in the strongest terms to this sexist thing. It is simply too thin and delicate to get the wax out of my ear and too short to reach down inside my belt to scratch with.

~Hopefully a range of ‘for her’ paperclips is on the horizon.

~I had despaired of ever being able to write down said recipes in a permanent manner, though my men-folk assured me that I “shouldn’t worry yer pretty little head”. But, AT LAST! Bic, the great liberator, has released a womanly pen that my gentle baby hands can use without fear of unlady-like callouses and bruises. Thank you, Bic!

~Ate a whole box yesterday for breakfast. Taste like strawberry licorice and oppression.

~ME NEEDED PEN FOR TO WRITE. ME PICK UP PEN. PEN SMALL. PEN SAY 'FOR WO MAN'. ME MAN. ME USE PEN. PEN NO WRITE! WHY PEN NO WRITE! PEN BREAK WHEN MAN SLAM PEN INTO MAN CAVE BRICK WALL. PEN GONE. STILL NEED PEN. STILL NEED WRITE. BIC PEN FOR WO MAN NO WORK FOR ME MAN. WHAT 'WO' MEAN?

~I mean, for the world's first marital aid/writing utensil, they sure made it difficult to find the POWER switch on these things. Wait...these are hybrid dildo pens, right? Of course they are... no one would be stupid enough to make pen "JUST FOR HER" unless it had an auxiliary function like inducing orgasms mid-sentence, would theOHHHHHHHHHHGODDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!

Nevermind, found it.

~I do not understand why a pen for her is so phallic. Why does a tool of self-expression have to bear the very shape of the symbol of the patriarchy?

~Fortunately, Bic has now invented what I've been seeking my whole life. A pen I can operate using my vagina.

Amazon.co.uk: Customer Reviews: BIC For Her Amber Medium Ballpoint Pen (Box of 12) - Black

bright_arrow
08-31-2012, 02:27 PM
All I can say is WOW!

NJFemmie
08-31-2012, 02:39 PM
These are my favorites:


~This is a very functional pen. My only concern is that it might be a little TOO empowering for women. I would suggest swapping out the ballpoint tip for a rubber stamp that says, "Yes sir," or "I heart pink," or "Can you please open this jar for me?"

~Very PC I'm sure to have a For Her pen, but where are the transgender pens? I'm torn between a For Her bic and the standard masculine variety. It's as if Bic think transgender people don't exist.

~Freud was right - I have been suffering from pen envy as being a woman I have the wrong gender/writing implement alignment. I can never have a real pen like men have so thank you Bic for curing my dysfunctional psyche by giving me a "pen" of my own...

~ I am a full-figured gal with full-figured hands, and I need a pen built for me. The Bic For Her made my rear end look enormous! It barely fit me. My best friend, who still buys clothes in the Junior section, loves these, but she looks great using ANY pen. I hate her sometimes.

~I used my new pen to write a letter to my local Congressman requesting equal pay for women and a preservation of my reproductive rights... and then the ground began to shake, the world around me crumbled into flames and molten stone, everything went black, and I was torn asunder from the universe. Did I use it wrong????

~But wait a moment - once the women get the pens, what are they supposed to write on? Man paper?

~Ate a whole box yesterday for breakfast. Taste like strawberry licorice and oppression.

~ME NEEDED PEN FOR TO WRITE. ME PICK UP PEN. PEN SMALL. PEN SAY 'FOR WO MAN'. ME MAN. ME USE PEN. PEN NO WRITE! WHY PEN NO WRITE! PEN BREAK WHEN MAN SLAM PEN INTO MAN CAVE BRICK WALL. PEN GONE. STILL NEED PEN. STILL NEED WRITE. BIC PEN FOR WO MAN NO WORK FOR ME MAN. WHAT 'WO' MEAN?

~Fortunately, Bic has now invented what I've been seeking my whole life. A pen I can operate using my vagina.

G Snap!
08-31-2012, 02:43 PM
My love, she is an Amber Medium
That slips within my fingers' warm caress
And flows so smooth, that halting tedium
Were by this rendered fairly in redress.
Too soft! Some say, for woman's hand to find,
Too palely light, too gender'd or too thin,
But know they not, that prattle in this kind,
The joy this slender box doth grasp therein.
Thou wert not made for men's eyes, noble BIC!
Thy form and softly sheen are for mine own.
O never be it said thou art a trick
Of basest marketers and pranksters sown.
Thus glitt'ring from the Amber shines the lamp, on
Beauty's fairest form - belike, a tampon.

Another review. :seeingstars:

This sh!t is craking me up!

chefhmboyrd
08-31-2012, 02:43 PM
Does it require an applicator?

The_Lady_Snow
08-31-2012, 02:45 PM
~Personally, I like to do all my writing with a dagger dipped in the blood of sexist dinosaurs, but that's just me.....



My favorite!!!!


Way to FAIL BIC! Know you're audience!

NJFemmie
08-31-2012, 02:45 PM
The real question is ... is it perfume scented?

That could be the deal breaker for me.

NJFemmie
08-31-2012, 02:45 PM
~Personally, I like to do all my writing with a dagger dipped in the blood of sexist dinosaurs, but that's just me.....



My favorite!!!!


Way to FAIL BIC! Know you're audience!


That's HAWT.

NJFemmie
08-31-2012, 02:48 PM
Hey?!? Will it make me a sammich??
(cause isn't that what women do?)

G Snap!
08-31-2012, 02:51 PM
Hey?!? Will it make me a sammich??
(cause isn't that what women do?)

Apparently not, according to this review from Anoop Karir from Essex, UK:

"I bought this for my wife as it specifically says that the pen has been designed for a woman's hands, but when my wife excitedly opened the box (I obviously had to rip it open with my man-hands first as the card was far too thick for her dainty fingers), i did in fact notice that, contrary to my understanding, the pen was shaped nothing like an iron! Nor was it the colour of a dishcloth!
I dont understand how on Earth any woman is going to be able to use these, or at least understand it is designed for them when it lacks even the basic characteristics which makes it 'designed for women'."

Novelafemme
08-31-2012, 02:52 PM
Does it fart unicorns and bunnies?

NJFemmie
08-31-2012, 02:53 PM
Reviewer Rachel also helpfully gives a heads up to all the guys out there:

"The 'for her' label is not just a gimmick exploiting archaic gender constructs, it's a WARNING. Even if you're a boy who likes pastels and glitter (which really I don't see why you shouldn't, what kind of moron thinks that only girls would like that kind of thing? seems kind of backwards to me) this pen is NOT for you. I don't know why they didn't put a clearer warning on the label, they really should have because if you are a boy and use this pen you put yourself at great risk. My little brother turned into a unicorn after I lent him one, and my friend told me that a boy in her class grew fairy wings in the middle of a test."


"Oh. My. God. I've been doing it all wrong," quipped another (http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/trending-now/bic-her-pens-bombarded-sarcastic-reviews-170047614.html). "There was me thinking I didn't need to worry about whether my writing implement sufficiently reflected my gender. Thank you so much Bic for showing me the error of my ways. Perhaps Bic will also bring out a new range of pink (or purple) feminine spanners, screwdrivers, electric drills and angle grinders so that I can carry out my job as a bicycle mechanic without further embarrassing myself? Luckily my male colleagues have managed to keep their disapproval of my use of their masculine tools to themselves. I'm so ashamed. And re-educated as to my place in society. Thanks again Bic!"


I was recently given a box of these as a gift from my husband, but I have no idea what to do with them! They're too thin to make a good rolling pin. I can't ladle out my soups with them. And the tiny point doesn't even make a dent when I try to use one to chop veggies! I don't get it. If I can't use it in the kitchen, what the hell am I supposed to do with one???
– kitchenwench

NJFemmie
08-31-2012, 02:59 PM
I would SOOOO love to be a Bic employee right now - imagine receiving these reviews all day long?



Oh my goodness - where have these been all my life? My hands are tiny, delicate and perfectly formed. I have to admit that they're more suited to activities such as petit point and kitten stroking than writing; in short, they are nothing like a man's fat, hairy mitt. Up until now I've spent countless hours sobbing that there was no writing implement designed especially for ME. I haven't actually tried one of these BIC beauties yet as they're just so adorable all I want to go is gaze at them and lick the pink one from time to time.
– V.M. Wells


I so want the pink one now.


I allowed my wife to write the grocery list with one of my pens. Shortly thereafter she went out and bought a bunch of flannel shirts, cut the sleeves off and grew a mullet. While she was writing her feminist manifesto, I secretly switched out the man pen with a BiC For Her. She's now back to baking apple pies, vacuuming in heels, and popping bennies in order to keep her girlish figure... like a proper American gal.

macele
08-31-2012, 03:37 PM
~I thought this was a tampon and now there is scribbling all over my vagina.

Ginger
08-31-2012, 05:40 PM
This thread is just what I needed today, a smart, funny distraction!

GreeneyedMe
08-31-2012, 06:19 PM
I allowed my wife to write the grocery list with one of my pens. Shortly thereafter she went out and bought a bunch of flannel shirts, cut the sleeves off and grew a mullet. While she was writing her feminist manifesto, I secretly switched out the man pen with a BiC For Her. She's now back to baking apple pies, vacuuming in heels, and popping bennies in order to keep her girlish figure... like a proper American gal.[/QUOTE]


OMG...This has me laughing so damn hard....it's hysterically hilarious!!!

*Anya*
08-31-2012, 08:10 PM
Women are so totally awesome! No wonder I'm a lesbo!

These reviews literally had me laughing till I was crying.

Oh Bic, Bic. WTF. Did an entire company lose their minds?

spritzerJ
08-31-2012, 08:25 PM
Women are so totally awesome! No wonder I'm a lesbo!

These reviews literally had me laughing till I was crying.

Oh Bic, Bic. WTF. Did an entire company lose their minds?

I think the company did lose their mind. I am a fan of sparkly pens. Glitter gel pens? love 'em. Pens specifically "for her" that also misspells crystal? No way!

lusciouskiwi
08-31-2012, 08:42 PM
But, if you're woman using a pen "for her" ... wouldn't that make you a lesbian? Imagine if you lick it?!

bcelly1894
09-17-2012, 01:24 AM
Aw Man! I couldnt even think of anything new to say that was funny, sarcastic, or mean about these Bic pens----it has already been said.
All I could do was laugh and shake my head, Also wonder when these pens will be sold in the "discreet" section of the Adult BookStore so that I can go and get me a box, lol.
:caveman::bellydancer::bondage::ballerina::tongue:

chefhmboyrd
09-17-2012, 02:37 PM
I have been informed that nobody can use my applicator except G-Snap

:blush:

http://media.mercola.com/imageserver/public/2010/December/index-finger-12.21.jpg

*Anya*
10-12-2012, 06:41 PM
Bumping this thread.

Gaea just posted a comedy bit Ellen did on these pens on the CIJS thread and I remembered this very funny thread.

laruss
10-12-2012, 08:28 PM
Ellen had this on her show today. I tried to find a video, but they are not available outside of the United States and I am in Canada, so you will have to Google it. It was quite funny.

*Anya*
10-12-2012, 08:40 PM
Ellen had this on her show today. I tried to find a video, but they are not available outside of the United States and I am in Canada, so you will have to Google it. It was quite funny.

Look on the CIJS thread. Gaea posted it.

Are you not able to see it on her post?

macele
10-12-2012, 10:25 PM
that ellen is a mess. she was quite the smartass about the For Her pens. love it love it love it!

Bčsame*
10-12-2012, 10:31 PM
My purse just got lighter, took out all those man pens!!

*Anya*
10-12-2012, 10:53 PM
I only have two hands. One to apply lipstick and another to hold my copy of "Fifty Shades of Grey". This is exactly what I needed! A pen that looks pretty enough to hold between my lips. Now husband-finding will be a much easier task. It's so logical - EVEN FOR A WOMAN! Thank you, BIC
..........

It's a disgrace. First they get the right to vote, now this. Once again, the most oppressed minority - white middle class men - have been overlooked when it comes to disposable pens. You can bet that if BiC came out with pens that 'fit comfortably in a man's fist' and look like a pint of lager, there would be uproar.
...........

I had my man read me the packaging details because it was so beautiful I just HAD to know what was inside. I discovered that it contained something I did not ever believe possible. A pen. For me! Now I just need some pastel coloured books so I can learn to read and I'll be able to use them to write by myself. At last!
...........

Thank you, thank you bic. My womb is throbbing at the very thought of holding such a thing! My husband says before long I'll be able to write my very own shopping lists and cake recipes.
...........

When she wrapped her small but capable hand around the Cristal pen and stroked it, she saw stars, and she knew there were none out tonight. She let out her breath in a long, uneven moan. Her thumb rubbed the tip of the Cristal pen, spreading a drop of ink. She opened her mouth and lay her Cristal pen on her delicate plump moist lips. She shook the shaft of the Cristal pen with her hand urging the ink out. It was too much. She was too good. She couldn't stop as she crossed washing powder off the shopping list....
..........

After suffering debilitating gender-based paranoia for many years due to my large hands, interest in science and ability to make my own decisions, I became convinced that even though I was born and live as woman, society would never accept me. My life was a battle but I fought on, between bouts of hormonal weeping and watching endless romcoms and DVD boxsets of 'Friends', yet was unable to connect as a woman or find that elusive romance or 'friend'. I subscribe to all the women's magazines, buy all the latest beauty products, still all I have added to my life is a pile of old magazines and bottles of vegetable oil based lotions. Nothing was working.

Then, my sister came to my house one day to find out why I had not attended our weekly trip to the salon, only to find me lying among the cupcakes I had lovingly made her, curled in the feotal position and rythmically rubbing my body with an unplugged Ladyshave. Seeing my despair at the harsh reality of not being feminine enough, she wept as she bathed me in a scented bubble bath. Leaving me alone with a chocolate bar to eat seductively, she crept out and sourced me a small pack of BiC Cristal for her.

Within moments I was able to sit unassisted again. I brushed and even swung my newly washed hair, and my tears slowly dried as I added layer upon layer of beauty product, using the pens to mark which worked and didn't. I wrote a to-do list named 'The start of the rest of your life.' I truly did start living that day.
..........

Having just had a hysterectomy and mourning the loss of my womanhood I have been desperately searching for validation of my sex again. Thank god for Bic - my friends bought me a pac of BiC Cristal and I feel whole again. The pink itallic writing giving me comfort and joy. One can only assume that had Virginia Woolf or Sylvia Plath had such wonderful writing tools there literary contributions would have been much happier and easier to understand. Thank you Bic!

laruss
10-13-2012, 06:49 AM
Look on the CIJS thread. Gaea posted it.

Are you not able to see it on her post?

I went back and looked and I was able to see hers.
When I tried to open it on youtube I couldn't. That happens to a lot of videos especially if there is TV content.

JAGG
10-13-2012, 07:07 AM
This is freakin hilarious!!!!!!!!
A few of my fav:
~This seemed to work ok on low flow days but on heavy flow days I ended up looking like a crime scene. I still prefer Playtex Gentle Glide Tampons...
~But wait a moment - once the women get the pens, what are they supposed to write on? Man paper?
~I am very disappointed with this product. Whilst it did have an "easy glide", it did not remove any hairs and left me with blue lines from my ankle to my knee. Not up to your usual standards Bic.
These made me laugh out loud. Thanks for that Kobi!!

stargazingboi
10-13-2012, 09:29 AM
*wipes tear from eye* all I have to say is thank you for creating this thread...what a great way to wake up..coffee and a good laugh, priceless!

Metro
10-13-2012, 10:05 AM
"For years and years now I have really dreaded having to use those awful plain, boring, clear and blue pens for my everyday writing. I became depressed and didn't like going out with friends or doing anything because I was so ashamed of having to use them. But then!!! To my surprise, they came out with BIC cristal for her pens and my life changed! I wasn't afraid to use my pen in public anymore, I started going out with my friends and was a PROUD owner and user of BIC for her. Thank you for changing my life and making me realize how great being a woman can be!"

–Cameron Buchner

(via Amazon review, September 10, 2012)

Metro
10-13-2012, 10:08 AM
"I really love these pens, but there is one minor problem. They only let me put a period after four sentences, or 28 words."

– sciencegrrrl

(via Amazon review, October 2, 2012)

Metro
10-13-2012, 10:15 AM
"When anything is labeled 'For Her' it must be in pastel colors that applies to everything including razors and now pens! It's so nice to have things labeled so women are not using standard masculine colors like black."

– Kia Singh

(via Amazon review, October 4, 2012)

macele
10-13-2012, 10:30 AM
they have the slogan, "flick my bic!" ... says a lot. there's a good chance they are loving all the free advertising. smart folks. lol

*Anya*
10-13-2012, 11:02 AM
This one makes me lol:
.......
I was recently given a box of these as a gift from my husband, but I have no idea what to do with them! They're too thin to make a good rolling pin. I can't ladle out my soups with them. And the tiny point doesn't even make a dent when I try to use one to chop veggies! I don't get it. If I can't use it in the kitchen, what the hell am I supposed to do with one???

Signed,

kitchen wench

Words
10-13-2012, 11:19 AM
Wow. Just wow.

And this is the 21st Century, right?

*Shaking head.*

Words

Bit
10-13-2012, 11:27 AM
Oh my word, we've laughed till we cried, and at one point Gryph laughed so hard she actually choked!

It was doggoned hard to read these aloud without cracking up halfway through. My favorite was the one where she finally found the orgasm button. STILL laughing!