View Full Version : Are you a donor???????????
princessbelle
10-08-2012, 04:41 PM
Organ donation.
Us gay/queer peeps are notorious for being known as giving people to the community, animals, the environment, each other.
I was just thinking today, how many of us are Organ Donors?
When i worked in the hospital, one of the hardest things to deal with after a death in the family, was asking the family members if they would consider donating body or tissues. I heard a lot of the time something like this..."It was never discussed" "I don't know what to do" "I wish we had talked about it".
It is important to TALK about with your loved ones, because even if your license says you are, it is your family who will ultimately be asked and who will make that decision.
I am a full body donation and have this conveyed on my license and on my car with a Donor Life sticker. More importantly, Bully, my mom and my kids are fully aware of my wishes.
These are sometimes difficult things to discuss and you have to do what is right for "you". What is your take on it?
Each day, about 79 people receive organ transplants. However, 18 people die each day waiting for transplants that can't take place because of the shortage of donated organs.
http://organdonor.gov/becomingdonor/index.html
aishah
10-08-2012, 04:50 PM
i am! i wish i could be a living donor but i can't because of my health problems. but i'm definitely an organ donor and everyone knows.
when my mom died, she was in really bad shape, and i remember them asking us if we wanted to donate her organs and we were like "she'd think it was HILARIOUS that anyone could use any of her organs" and we did :) it made the memorial service a bit of an adventure, though, because we had an open casket and they took the long bones in her arms (i didn't even know they could use those) and they needed us to put something on her arms because of the incisions. well, my mom never wore anything with long sleeves in her life, i don't care how cold it was outside. so we put a shawl on her but it was a bit weird because everyone knew it was WAY out of character for her, LOL.
anyway, my musculoskeletal system and my brain both suck but my other organs are in good shape. so hopefully i'll be able to help someone someday :)
DamonK
10-08-2012, 04:56 PM
My wishes are known. Donate me to medical science. Donate what you can of my remains. Just don't bury me
Heavenleahangel
10-08-2012, 04:59 PM
I am not only a donor, but as a diabetic with complications, I have donated any of my organs that can be used towards diabetes research or research in general. I won't be using my body when I am gone and if my gift can possibly help find a cure for this dreadful disease, then I will leave a legacy to countless people forever. That would be so cool!
Corkey
10-08-2012, 05:00 PM
Yep a donor, they can take anything that is viable. The rest gets cremated.
DamonK
10-08-2012, 05:14 PM
Most don't quite understand, unless they've seen us together....
Hypothetically, I'm in a coma. Decisions have to be made. MBE is to call Bear. He decides. She gets a vote of course. And I have faith they will do right by me and agree what to do.
My reasons are simple. My parents love me. My dad would hesitate to pull the cord. My mom probably wouldn't. I won't put that burden on her.
Furthermore, I worry if they're in charge, Bear and MBE won't get to have an opinion. Bear knows exactly what to do. So does MBE. I will protect her until the end and after. Bear will fight for their rights so maybe MBE will at least have one thing to not grieve over.
easygoingfemme
10-08-2012, 05:16 PM
Yes, registered donor here.
girl_dee
10-08-2012, 05:17 PM
Sometimes there isn't a cord to pull. Most of the head injury people i worked with were on feeding tubes, not life machines. Their brains and bodies were functioning but they were physically unable to swallow or feed themselves.
The feeding tube has to be pulled out, or someone has to stop feeding you so you can starve to death.
That's where it gets tricky.
Corkey
10-08-2012, 05:18 PM
Most don't quite understand, unless they've seen us together....
Hypothetically, I'm in a coma. Decisions have to be made. MBE is to call Bear. He decides. She gets a vote of course. And I have faith they will do right by me and agree what to do.
My reasons are simple. My parents love me. My dad would hesitate to pull the cord. My mom probably wouldn't. I won't put that burden on her.
Furthermore, I worry if they're in charge, Bear and MBE won't get to have an opinion. Bear knows exactly what to do. So does MBE. I will protect her until the end and after. Bear will fight for their rights so maybe MBE will at least have one thing to not grieve over.
it is in writing and Ami has the originals. No one else gets a say.
DamonK
10-08-2012, 05:19 PM
Sometimes there isn't a cord. Most of the head injury people i worked with were on feeding tubes, not life machines. Their brains and bodies were functioning but they were physically unable to swallow or feed themselves.
The feeding tube has to be pulled out, or someone has to stop feeding you so you can starve to death.
That's where it gets tricky.
Yes. It does. I've had to watch those decisions be made as well.
The cord I mean is anything that connects me to life if I have no quality of life left.
LaneyDoll
10-08-2012, 05:29 PM
Donor here. Take what can be used and cremate the rest. I do not want to be buried-for a variety of reasons.
:sparklyheart:
Affirmative...for years...and then... i actually am a recipient...who knew.
Thank you donor
girl_dee
10-08-2012, 05:36 PM
Yes. It does. I've had to watch those decisions be made as well.
The cord I mean is anything that connects me to life if I have no quality of life left.
Exactly so be very specific in your wishes (to all) because pulling a feeding tube and pulling a plug are two totally different things in the eyes of the law.
Pulling the plug- the person usually drifts off like in the movies
pulling the feeding tube - the person starves to death after a week or so which is murder in the eyes of some law makers and not allowed.
So be very specific in your wishes because the pull the plug DNR wishes do not apply when someone is on a a feeding tube.
Yes, here. My family has known for a long time, but people do forget so this is a timely reminder to have that talk with them again. Thanks!
aishah
10-08-2012, 05:43 PM
by the way - most states now i think allow advanced medical directives so you can make legally binding decisions about end-of-life (as well as psychiatric crises) instead of having to depend on others to make those decisions when the time comes. not that you can't trust people, but...in situations like that, i've seen people do complete 180s. so it's something i'd recommend looking into.
princessbelle
10-08-2012, 06:15 PM
Good points. Get your wishes in paper out there. Copies to your doc, family etc.
Here's the thing to remember...
Say you are in a car wreck and it is decided that you are legally dead, breathing or not. In the hospital, it is Law in the state of Tennessee and i'm assuming it is close to the same all over the country, for the RN or Doc to notify the Donor Registry and tell them of the death or impending death. It is then by phone that the Donor Registry will contact the family and ask over the phone what they want to do. They don't know histories or who is suppose to be the one making the decision. All of that should be done way ahead of the need so everyone knows who to go to for the answer. Again, this is initiated over the phone. Make sure EVERYONE knows your wishes that may even be somewhat involved.
So, unless it is a long drawn out death, so to speak, where there is plenty of time to contact this one and that one and fight who has the legal rights, get all the paper work in order, etc, all of the decision comes down to who is next of kin to make the sometimes very fast decision.
Make sure everyone will know who is in charge in that situation because it is rare there is time to get through the legal mumbo jumbo.
Ginger
10-08-2012, 06:17 PM
Yep, my NY driver's license identifies me as an organ donor.
Great thread, Belle! Something that's easy not to think about, till someone brings it to our attention.
skeeter_01
10-08-2012, 06:19 PM
organ donor and bone marrow donor here!!
skeet
DapperButch
10-08-2012, 06:21 PM
Yes, but until I am 5 years cancer free they can only use my corneas!
Gráinne
10-08-2012, 07:02 PM
Yes, it's on my license, and in my will papers. My executor knows where they are. Use what they can, the rest I'm thinking can get donated to the Body Farm in Princessbelle's back yard ;).
BTW, this is also a plug for drawing up a will. You do NOT want to pass on intestate.
Nice thread, Belle.
I am registered as an organ donor (actually, I'm a whole-body donor for any purpose). I've also been a monthly platelet donor for close to 20 years. I have AB+ blood so my type stocks life flights and nicu's; the American Red Cross keeps in close personal touch. Seriously. If you're proud of being an organ donor but it seems like an awful long time to wait, get into blood donation. You don't have to do apheresis, whole blood is quick and there has to be more time between donations.
Well, kiss a nurse!
I am, but I won't put it on my DL. My wife knows and so do my folks.
princessbelle
10-08-2012, 07:37 PM
Yes, it's on my license, and in my will papers. My executor knows where they are. Use what they can, the rest I'm thinking can get donated to the Body Farm in Princessbelle's back yard ;).
BTW, this is also a plug for drawing up a will. You do NOT want to pass on intestate.
My body farm? Now the secret is out!!!! Hahhahhaha.
Actually, do you know that book? When i took my training for OB at the University of Tennessee, that is where they made us low life undergraduates park: right by the body farm. Oh my on those hot Aug afternoons the smell of decaying bodies sifting through the magnolia blossoms was just ....lovely.
Yes Tapu!!! We can donate body pieces/parts while still alive. We all bleed and we all have at least once in our life where we, or someone we know, needs plasma!!! Good point!!!
LeftWriteFemme
10-08-2012, 07:44 PM
Many years ago some friends and I got to see Sekou Sundiata at the Painted Bride in the gayborhood in Philly, he preforming Blessing the Boats, I have no words for how great it was!
http://mappinternational.org/img/headers/subpage_466x273btb0.jpg
blessing the boats is a powerful solo performance that relates Sekou Sundiata's experience with the life-threatening illness of kidney failure and recovery through organ transplant. Diagnosed with kidney disease in 1995, Sekou lived a story familiar to thousands of people and their families. On the national list for a kidney transplant, he received dialysis for a year and half until, in January 1999, he received a kidney donated by his manager and close friend. After nearly a year in and out of the hospital, the transplant finally stabilized in December 1999.
Told with honesty and humor, blessing the boats blends the forms of theatrical monologue, literary reading, stand-up comedy, spoken word performance and griot storytelling. A mix of sound, lighting and video underscores this evocative and unsentimental look into a time of profound change when Sundiata was "an exile from the self I had come to know" and the resulting state of unexpected, precious grace.
With Sekou Sundiata's poetic voice, which is, in turn, heartfelt, funny, poignant, reflective and irreverent, blessing the boats uses the power of language to encourage and facilitate discussions and thought about health, history, mortality, friendship and love. As a stirring work of theater, blessing the boats has the potential to deeply affect not only people like Sekou, who have faced or are facing a life and death issue each day, but all of us.
blessing the boats was directed by Rhodessa Jones, and the artistic team included Roberta Uno (dramaturg), Bill Toles (sound design), Michael Mazzola (lighting design) and Sage Marie Carter (projections design).
From 2003-2007, Sekou performed blessing the boats in more than thirty cities across the United States, at university-based theaters, art centers, community centers and health care organizations. Responding to the performance, Catherine Paykin, Transplant Programs Director at the National Kidney Foundation, said: "I was awestruck. This is a fascinating glimpse into the life of a talented actor, poet and musician who happens to be kidney patient. It is a 'must-see' for all who work helping kidney patients and transplant recipients." Sekou Sundiata is committed to using this show to raise public awareness about kidney disease and treatment as well as organ donation and transplantation. In addition to the stage performances, presenters are asked to arrange public symposia and other community activities to expand upon the discourse. MAPP also facilitates partnerships between presenters and organ procurement organizations, transplant centers, and other medical organizations such as the National Kidney Foundation, Minority Organ Tissue Transplant Education Program (MOTTEP), and Coalition on Donation to increase audience attendance and funding possibilities.
blessing the boats was a production of Dance & Be Still Arts and MultiArts Projects & Productions (MAPP) and was commissioned by Miami Dade Community College in partnership with the Flynn Center for the Arts and the National Performance Network Creation Fund; the University Musical Society, Ann Arbor, MI; Duke University Institute of the Arts, Durham, NC; and Aaron Davis Hall in partnership with New Heritage Theater Group, New York City. The development of blessing the boats was made possible, in part, by New Works for a New WORLD play development laboratory at New WORLD Theater, University of Massachusetts at Amherst. blessing the boats was also made possible by a grant from The Greenwald Foundation.
durrrrrrrr
10-08-2012, 07:53 PM
ayup, I am a donor. My sister knows of what I wish for. We usually talk about this at least once a year to make sure nothin has changed
always2late
10-08-2012, 08:03 PM
I am a donor.
As a nurse, all I can say is please, please, PLEASE put your wishes into writing!! I have seen, too many times, family members override the wishes of patients who could not make the decisions for themselves at the moment. If you don't want life support, make SURE you specify that you do NOT want a feeding tube!! I don't know the laws in all the states, however, I do know that in NJ a feeding tube is not considered a "heroic measure" (as in, I do not wish any heroic measures be undertaken to sustain my life). Family members, though well-meaning I am sure, can make the wrong decisions based on emotion or grief...so please, make sure you are specific in your wishes and that they are written and legally documented! Also, if you have a partner that you want making medical decisions for you...make sure you have that legally documented as well!
JustJo
10-08-2012, 08:04 PM
Yes, registered organ donor....although what they can use may be limited by my diabetes as well.
When my mother died in April, she had decided to make a whole body donation to research on Crohn's disease and the colon cancer that resulted (and which ultimately killed her). I thought that was that.
However, Belle is right. Only hours after the call from the hospital telling me she had died, I got a call from the Organ & Tissue Bank asking for a donation of her eyes. We had never talked about that, and I had a moment of total blankness before I decided to say yes, of course.
It's a good thing to talk about, document, and spread the information around. The person who gets that phone call may not be the one you expect to.
For me, donate whatever is usable. Cremate the rest. NO burial....and no funeral. I love roses, and roses love ashes. Act accordingly. :rrose:
durrrrrrrr
10-08-2012, 08:08 PM
ayup, I am a donor. My sister knows of what I wish for. We usually talk about this at least once a year to make sure nothin has changed
I just read Just_jo's post, and for me. I also said, no burial, no funeral. take what money there is and have the whole family go on a trip. I want ppl to be laughin when they think of me. Remember the good times. Remember my smiles, not the tears.
I wish many of my passed on people had talked about it.
I think it would have given my mother great peace to know
that her body was used to study cancer , Or to think
of her eyes being out there seeing for someone.
She survived breast cancer twice but brain cancer was too fn much (f)
She had just buried her mom months earlier from alzheimer's.
Both could have been talked into it , with a bit more time.
princessbelle
10-08-2012, 08:24 PM
Thanks EVERYONE that have posted!!!! This is wonderful and i'm glad we are talking about this!!!
I looked for a heartfelt poem out there about organ donation and i can't find a good one. But, real life experiences in this, such as JustJo's and Dude's, speak louder than poetry.
In a progressive terminal illness, paperwork and legal documentation will let everyone know your wishes. BUT, sometimes and especially if it is an accident, NONE of that will matter. What is most important is VERBAL.
Note: WE are talking about organ donation. Not end of life/pull the plug/living will wishes. We can talk about those of course, but they are very different regarding how the real life decisions are made.
What will matter is a split second decision that falls upon whoever the Organ Donor people will CALL immediately following death. The person they call, who is established as next of kin, will be given to them by the RN or Doc that notifies them. Who is the next of kin? Whoever they find and can contact. In Tennessee it goes in this order...spouse/child over the age of 18/mother and father/siblings. So EVERYONE has to be told your wishes.
Two very different situations here. One the documentation matters, one it really doesn't. So, to cover all of our bases:
Document and even MORE importantly spred the word, it's the only way to truly get your wishes carried out.
always2late
10-08-2012, 08:41 PM
To Remember Me
Robert Noel Test (1926-1994)
The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet neatly tucked under four corners of a mattress located in a hospital; busily occupied with the living and the dying. At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped.
When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. And don't call this my deathbed. Let it be called the bed of life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.
Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman.
Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain.
Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play.
Give my kidneys to the one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week.
Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk.
Explore every corner of my brain.
Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that, someday a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her window.
Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow.
If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weakness and all prejudice against my fellow man….
If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you.
If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.
Beloved
10-09-2012, 05:01 AM
I want to get on the registry for bone marrow donation. I just never get around to it. :/
deb0670
10-09-2012, 06:53 AM
i am a donor and it is well known.
I'm an organ donor. Take everything you need then cremate me. I am also a bone marrow donor. If I can help anyone in that way I am more than willing.
I have this secret wish to become a classroom skeleton.... I don't think you can specify that, though. Here are some semi-serious thoughts on my last wishes, if you like to read blogs:
http://tapu-tapu-tapu.blogspot.com/2012/06/last-wishes-are-best-wishes.html
princessbelle
10-09-2012, 09:15 AM
I want to get on the registry for bone marrow donation. I just never get around to it. :/
The National Marrow Donor Program® (NMDP), a federally funded nonprofit organization, was created to improve the effectiveness of the search for donors. The NMDP maintains an international registry of volunteers willing to be donors for all sources of blood stem cells used in transplantation: bone marrow, peripheral blood, and umbilical cord blood.
The NMDP website contains a list of transplant centers Exit Disclaimer that perform allogeneic transplants. The list includes descriptions of the centers as well as their transplant experience, survival statistics, research interests, pretransplant costs, and contact information.
National Marrow Donor Program
Suite 100
3001 Broadway Street, NE.
Minneapolis, MN 55413–1753
612–627–5800
1–800–627–7692 (1–800–MARROW–2) (Be The Match Registry)
1–888–999–6743 (Be The Match Patient Services)
patientinfo@nmdp.org
http://www.bethematch.org Exit Disclaimer
Of note: When my father had cancer i went in to see if i was a match to donate bone marrow. Surprisingly it didn't hurt as much as i had anticipated. But, i won't lie, it did hurt. I was a match.
He just never got well enough to receive it.
Sometimes it is about knowing you've done all that you could possibly do.
Again, it is everyone's choice. No right or wrong answer here. Life is full of hard decisions and supporting each other is a wonderful way to say " i kinda like ya" LOL.
FemmeBibliophile
10-09-2012, 09:17 AM
Like many others... Donate anything you can. Use what you can for anything else. Do not bury me. Period.
Hollylane
10-09-2012, 09:58 AM
I am an organ donor, and I am also registered for bone marrow donation...
Belle, I love that you have a sticker on your car, I must find one!
princessbelle
10-09-2012, 10:10 AM
I am an organ donor, and I am also registered for bone marrow donation...
Belle, I love that you have a sticker on your car, I must find one!
It's actually a magnet. I got it when i reupped my drivers license and signed up to be a donor. But, it's a great idea, especially if that unfortunate were to happen.
Also, hopefully, it will advertise this very important part of life that will get others thinking!!!!
DapperButch
10-09-2012, 05:00 PM
I have this secret wish to become a classroom skeleton.... I don't think you can specify that, though. Here are some semi-serious thoughts on my last wishes, if you like to read blogs:
http://tapu-tapu-tapu.blogspot.com/2012/06/last-wishes-are-best-wishes.html
I know someone who looked into that, but evidently they are not putting them into schools anymore.
bkisbutchenuff
10-09-2012, 05:09 PM
Yes I am...tossed the idea around for years. Then a few DL renewals back, I signed up :)
StrongButch
10-09-2012, 05:23 PM
Yes I am. When my father passed away we donated. Life father like daughter.
I am a Registered donor (is on my State DL) and I have been for years!
Last Dec. when I had my surgeries, all of my female organs, my appendix, and about 18 inches of colon went to the Lab for the Medical Students to use for research and to study!! I was in a Teaching Hospital!
Great Thread,BTW Belle!!!
Donor here. Take what can be used and cremate the rest. I do not want to be buried-for a variety of reasons.
:sparklyheart:
Ditto.......
Gemme
10-09-2012, 07:28 PM
I'm a donor and, once they are done with my bits 'n stuff, I want to be fried (because I'm Southern and it's just proper) and scattered. I haven't fully figured out WHERE I want to be scattered yet, but I'm working on that. Maybe a little bit in the places that I've called home throughout my life. MS, FL, NY, WA and TX. There's bound to be enough of me to go 'round.
girl_dee
10-09-2012, 07:33 PM
I'm a donor and, once they are done with my bits 'n stuff, I want to be fried (because I'm Southern and it's just proper) and scattered. I haven't fully figured out WHERE I want to be scattered yet, but I'm working on that. Maybe a little bit in the places that I've called home throughout my life. MS, FL, NY, WA and TX. There's bound to be enough of me to go 'round.
We'd love to have some of ya!
SaltyButch
10-09-2012, 07:41 PM
I am a regular blood donor and also donate platelets when I can, I am also a registered organ donor....I haven't mustered up the courage to register as a bone marrow donor yet.
Katniss
10-09-2012, 07:58 PM
Why yes, I am. Registered even. I also donate blood. As to mooooving on...there is a place in Ga. out near a monastery where they do natural/green burial. The site is in an 8,000 acre dedicated conservation space. I've already told everyone that's where I want to go...wrapped in an old quilt for a shroud. No fire, no chemicals....just peace and quiet as nature intended.
Katniss~~
JDeere
03-03-2015, 06:54 PM
Yes I became a registered donor back in 2011
Anything that is still good when I pass gets donated.
cinnamongrrl
03-03-2015, 07:16 PM
I.am! Take it all and make use of it..I'm getting cremated and you can't take it with you any way...
homoe
03-03-2015, 07:20 PM
Nope I'm not. I want to keep everything JUST IN CASE:praying:
TruTexan
03-03-2015, 07:29 PM
I.am! Take it all and make use of it..I'm getting cremated and you can't take it with you any way...
Ditto, my sentiments exactly. I'm a registered donor on my state issued DL in TX. I have also donated blood and plasma when I can.
I don't want my family to argue about it, they've been told and that's my wishes. I want to be cremated and spread my ashes on my grandparents property under the old oak tree I used to swing on in the front yard, then toss the bag I come in.
My dad was also a donor, he donated his body last year after he passed away, to University of Texas Medical Science Center in Galveston, for med students to use to learn from. He had some severe issues with his heart and kidneys, and diabetes and severe foot infection when he passed away. It was his wish and we didn't argue with his wishes. He wanted to be of use after he passed, so maybe the new doctors coming along would better understand what Diabetes does to your organs when it's out of control and can't be controlled with insulin shots.
My hope is that my organs will still be of use to someone when I pass. I've been pondering the thought of being a bone marrow donor as well. I just haven't done much to research that yet, still thinking about it.
randrum
03-03-2015, 08:04 PM
I'm registered as a donor. And I donate blood regularly. :)
cinnamongrrl
03-03-2015, 08:09 PM
I also donate blood when able (low iron sometimes prevents it) and my veins are too small to do plasma...I had no idea...
BUT...I am registered for bone marrow donation...its very quick and easy in case any of you want to register :)
CherryWine
03-03-2015, 08:23 PM
Also remember that you do not have to be deceased to donate. Kidneys are always needed, and you only need one kidney to live as long as you are healthy and have healthy habits. You could totally change a person's life by donating a kidney. :)
bright_arrow
03-03-2015, 08:59 PM
I am a registered organ donor on my DL. Have been unable to donate blood in the past due to a recent tattoo at the time, but will look into doing it again.
I've never given much thought to when I die, but I am thinking donate any and everything, and then put my ashes in one of those tree boxes things that they plant. I'd rather be used to help renew our planet then take up space in a box I am going to crumble into.
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