Hoarders! You, Me, Us, Them.

[Lynn]

I am capable of a great deal of denial when it comes to the environment. In the kitchen, where the counters are typically clean and the dishes done, there is a small box on the floor. It contains some serving plates and cutlery, a few hot pads and kitchen towels, and a stainless tray. All of these are from the progressive dinner that our neighborhood had BEFORE CHRISTMAS. There isn't a lot of room in the cabinets, so I have avoided unpacking the box for all of these months. It isn't in the way, THAT MUCH. We only trip on it once in a while, and the cats like to lay on top of it.

On another note, my husband used to complain constantly about my messy housekeeping habits. He was pretty good about his personal items, like clothing, but otherwise wasn't much of a cleaner, himself. We saw a counselor at one time, and all he complained about was my messiness. She challenged him to be loving enough to help me. Since we've been divorced, it turns out that he is just as bad.

[Mrs. Strutt]

I haven't been able to watch many of the Hoarders shows because I don't have cable... but I've seen a few different kinds on various channels...

I'm no psychologist so of course I don't understand the level of the psychosis...

I just cannot *get* how one can be and live in a house that smells SO bad. The stench of garbage, cat or dog piss, rats, rancid food... and physical illness because of the filth...

It is so sad, the level of mental illness that these things are not trigger enough to realize something needs to be done. The emotional paralysis and denial are so sad.
My husband grew up with a hoarder. Hy can't even watch any of the hoarding shows because they trigger so many unpleasant memories for hym. Hy can deal fine with a little bit of clutter--try to have a completely uncluttered house when you have a five-year-old--but beyond that, forget it.

It's a sad situation the whole way around...not only for the hoarders, but for their families and the emotional and mental issues the hoarders cause them as well.

[JustJo]

My husband grew up with a hoarder. Hy can't even watch any of the hoarding shows because they trigger so many unpleasant memories for hym. Hy can deal fine with a little bit of clutter--try to have a completely uncluttered house when you have a five-year-old--but beyond that, forget it.

It's a sad situation the whole way around...not only for the hoarders, but for their families and the emotional and mental issues the hoarders cause them as well.

I so agree with this. I've never had any direct experience of hoarding in my family but worked for years with a woman for whom this was a huge problem. It was incredibly sad to see her struggle with all the aspects of it....from a car so packed with junk that she could barely see out of the windows (let alone ever give anyone a ride anywhere), to a house and garage that was overflowing crud into the yard. She struggled physically with every tiny detail of her life...even something as simple as taking a shower or fixing a meal, was embarrassed by the looks and comments she used to get from others...and her finances were a disaster because she just kept buying and hoarding.

She didn't need an organizer or a cleaner...friends and coworkers (myself included) offered and tried to help without success. She couldn't emotionally part with anything...so it wasn't just a matter of cleaning up and decluttering. She needed some psychological help that we weren't able to give her as friends.

[Bit]

It is so sad, the level of mental illness that these things are not trigger enough to realize something needs to be done. The emotional paralysis and denial are so sad.

She couldn't emotionally part with anything...so it wasn't just a matter of cleaning up and decluttering. She needed some psychological help that we weren't able to give her as friends.

Explaining this to others is difficult at best, and often impossible. It really IS a mental illness. I think that part of the difficulty is that we tend in our society to minimize obsessive/compulsive illnesses. We make jokes about "being a little OCD" without ever recognizing that a need for order and routine is not the same as actual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/index.shtml).

I think that tendency inclines us to miss the distinction between an actual mental illness, and a controllable behavior. We who are cleaning up our lives and homes have a controllable behavior.

Hoarding is recognized by the professional psychiatric community as belonging to the OCD family of mental illnesses. Changing hoarding behaviors means not merely changing a controllable behavior, but changing the person from the inside out. I suspect this about as easy as changing, say, a person with schizophrenia or dissociative disorder from the inside out.

[kassykit]

I have a family member who is affected by the need to hoard items.

To him, his things define him. If you throw his things out you are throwing a bit of him out.

He is on SSDI (for other reasons) and lives with his sister (my mother)

He is a great guy, he does not see the reason to throw out perfectly "good" items. You can always reuse those cat food cans for something.

When he lived alone his house woul dbe just as bad as some that you see on the TV shows. While living with my mother he doesn't have the space to do that any longer.

However i digress. Hoarding is soemthing that is a part of our society. People are ashamed, they call themselves "packrats" etc. Best thign to do if you know a hoarder is to be supportive. You can't change them unless they want to be changed. But being supportive is important.

[Waldo]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/25/coupld-found-buried-alive_n_588500.html

Don't let this happen to you. Please. I don't want to be interviewed by a news team and have to say "they seemed so normal."

[christie]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/25/coupld-found-buried-alive_n_588500.html

Don't let this happen to you. Please. I don't want to be interviewed by a news team and have to say "they seemed so normal."

This is so incredibly sad. In this case, I wonder where was their family or did they have any?

My folks, being the of the hoarding/collecting/saving people they are, are also in their 70's. I speak with them practically every day and at least one, if not all three of my brothers stop by to visit them every day.

I can't imagine how it came to be that they were so infirm without any support system to have been found under piles of garbage in their home.

[Queerasfck]

apretty is having an awesome anti-hoarder day! There are four bags of clothes and stuff ready to be donated right and we are going to drop them off today!

Love it!

[Queerasfck]

Ok, she got a little crazy and tried to donate my authentic Steeler helmet.......

http://www.3snaps.org/partners.php

BTW, there's a Hoarder marathon on the A & E channel today.

(A=apretty &
E=Ezee)

Hahahahahahaha, I just thought of that.

[2myladyblue]

I watch Hoarders like I watch a traffic accident....in awe & horror & with concern & compassion for those suffering. It seems obvious to me that such levels of denial must be how they have come to cope (both with the state of their lives & whatever drove them to that point). They're in pain & need all the understanding, support & help they can get.
:blueheels:
~LadyBlue

[turasultana]

watching the hoarders marathon. the episode with the flattened cats is on as I quickly do a head count of my babies. :)

[Bit]

This is so incredibly sad. In this case, I wonder where was their family or did they have any?

My folks, being the of the hoarding/collecting/saving people they are, are also in their 70's. I speak with them practically every day and at least one, if not all three of my brothers stop by to visit them every day.

I can't imagine how it came to be that they were so infirm without any support system to have been found under piles of garbage in their home.

Yanno, Christie, my guess is they do (or did) have family... and my guess is that the family DID try to help somewhere along the way. And then, yanno, more than likely there was a big fight and the family was told to butt out forever. It takes professional help--and sometimes medication--for people who are really bad hoarders; family members can't normally make it better at all.

My guess is that friends were also driven away, probably years and years ago.

When "stuff" makes someone feel safe, and "more stuff" makes them feel safer, then anyone who might want them to part with anything (even garbage!) becomes a threat to their safety and must be kept out. It's really sad.

edited to add: I doubt they were infirm before the huge stacks of stuff fell on them....

[Jackhammer]

Someone needs to tell the food hoarder lady to invest in dehydrated #10 cans, it has a 30 year shelf life.

Cheese, peanut butter, butter, eggs,milk,veggies, potatoes, meat etc..... all available.

She could be a prepper hero, instead of a food waster.

Just wow :seeingstars:

[Queerasfck]

Someone needs to tell the food hoarder lady to invest in dehydrated #10 cans, it has a 30 year shelf life.

Cheese, peanut butter, butter, eggs,milk,veggies, potatoes, meat etc..... all available.

She could be a prepper hero, instead of a food waster.

Just wow :seeingstars:

Was that one with the rotting pumpkins?? I know I should feel bad but I sorta wanted to smack her.

[Jackhammer]

Yep that's the one, she was trying to pick/save seeds off them.
I kinda felt bad too, you can always spot those who have lived through the great depression.

Sad.

[Medusa]

OMGGGGG. Ok, so going back a year later and checking on certain cases was what I waited all day to see.
I was really happy to see the gay boy living healthy and doing well :)


Now we are watching "Obsessed" and there is a woman who cleans herself by sticking a toothbrush up her butt and is also afraid of having bowel movements. That is some deep stuff. :|

[SassyLeo]

OMGGGGG. Ok, so going back a year later and checking on certain cases was what I waited all day to see.
I was really happy to see the gay boy living healthy and doing well :)


Now we are watching "Obsessed" and there is a woman who cleans herself by sticking a toothbrush up her butt and is also afraid of having bowel movements. That is some deep stuff. :|

These are the times when I miss having cable :sigh:

[Medusa]

These are the times when I miss having cable :sigh:

I hope they show the episode of the big burly bear construction worker who was afraid of germs and almost imploded when the therapist asked to use his restroom and asked for a trashcan because she was having her period.

The sheer look of horror on the poor guys face is forever burned in my memory.

When she told him she didnt wash her hands and then touched his face, he totally freaked out and started screaming that there were "tumors and endometriosis" all over his face.

[SassyLeo]

I hope they show the episode of the big burly bear construction worker who was afraid of germs and almost imploded when the therapist asked to use his restroom and asked for a trashcan because she was having her period.

The sheer look of horror on the poor guys face is forever burned in my memory.

When she told him she didnt wash her hands and then touched his face, he totally freaked out and started screaming that there were "tumors and endometriosis" all over his face.


Holy Shit. TUMORS?

Maybe they will put the shows on DVD soon :(

[Medusa]

Holy Shit. TUMORS?

Maybe they will put the shows on DVD soon :(

This is the guy!!!!!

YouTube- Obsessed - New Show on A&E - Germs

[christie]

We are hoping/ planning to have a yard sale this weekend. I am so looking forward to having space again that I can actually work in and store things that we NEED as opposed to just stuff we HAVE.

Will be advertising it on our local "swap shop/ trading post" bit on out local AM station. I have been trying to listen for it to see when it airs, and of course fighting the urge to go swap someone else's junk LOL!

We've done a lot of streamlining over the past year and it feels really good when you see you are making headway in the mayhem.

I got a huge laugh at the "toaster" manual, I have entire files of manuals for crap like electric beaters and now I might be able to get rid of some..LOL! Thanks Medusa.

Wishes for continued progress fellow hoarders!


Our yardsale, by my standards, was a roaring success!!! We only had it Friday and made a whopping $850!!! And... didn't even sell any of the "big items" that we thought we would!

We have a handyfella who works for us on the weekends and he came and packed all the leftovers onto the trailer and will be picking it up to take to the flea market this weekend. A 75/25% split of any proceeds (75 to him) seemed reasonable and he is quite happy with it. Anything left after the flea market will be donated to a local charity.

NOTHING... Not nairy a thing that went into the sale came back into the house!!! I am proud of us.

Now both garage and shed are empty and "someone" has no excuse for all the friggin tools to be in the house anymore :readfineprint:

We missed the Hoaders marathon trying to recover from yardsale hell. I had forgotten how much work those are!

[Leigh]

I've only watched this show a handful of times, but I used to be partnered with a hoarder so I know how tough it can be

[PearlsNLace]

Ive never even heard of the show, until reading this thread.

But everytime I read a new post I want to reduce, filter out, throw away, recycle, rehome.

Paphigleo may come home one day to a scary empty house- if that show shows up on Hulu or something.

[Jess]

Our yardsale, by my standards, was a roaring success!!! We only had it Friday and made a whopping $850!!! And... didn't even sell any of the "big items" that we thought we would!

We have a handyfella who works for us on the weekends and he came and packed all the leftovers onto the trailer and will be picking it up to take to the flea market this weekend. A 75/25% split of any proceeds (75 to him) seemed reasonable and he is quite happy with it. Anything left after the flea market will be donated to a local charity.

NOTHING... Not nairy a thing that went into the sale came back into the house!!! I am proud of us.

Now both garage and shed are empty and "someone" has no excuse for all the friggin tools to be in the house anymore :readfineprint:

We missed the Hoaders marathon trying to recover from yardsale hell. I had forgotten how much work those are!


I'm proud of us too! Sooooo very very happy to have one shed completely cleared and places made to hang my yard tools and store canning jars. pots/ etc.
The garage still has some order to create and a few more things to go through/ be rid of , but that also got a heck of a lot of headway made! I can see my work bench now!!!! I abhor clutter and can be rather OCD with organization, so I am absolutely thrilled. I keep laughing at myself, because when I am finally able to have the workshop I need to work on this house, I will be done with it.. doh!

So.. I will be able to move the tools I have been storing on our back porch and begin the remodel of that space soon. It is the last existing room in house to be done ( well, until we redo the downstairs floors) and I know the girl will be ecstatic to have it done. So will I!!!

I can't watch the hoarders shows or some of the Clean House type shows without getting twitchy. I tend to get up in the middle of them and start tidying stuff. It makes me just crazy to see folks living like that.

[PearlsNLace]

No need for Hulu.

You can watch full episodes. So of course, I just spent a good portion of time watching the one year episode as long as you have a good internet connection.
http://www.aetv.com/hoarders/video/?paidlink=1&vid=AETV_SEM_Search&keywords=hoarders%2Bepisodes&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=hoarders&utm_term=hoarders%20episodes

This may be my new motivational show. I have also just pitched out several bags of garbage I somehow didnt "notice" and am debating either joining in on someones yardsale this weekend, or making a big donation to good will. Apperantly I am enough of a hoarder to wince internally at just giving stuff away- however I may need to conceed that it is a win win situation if all the un needed stuff just goes. goes now.

I have never thought of myself as a hoarder. I am a bit lazy and messy. And I do believe that I have on occasion over consumed. However I do have a small house, and with 2 adults and 3 furballs its a lot to keep up with, and a little clutter can become a lot FAST. fur. Oh good heavens, I will never see fur in quite the same light again, thanks to that kid traumatized by his dog fur.

I am ready to purge. If I havent worn it or used it in 2 years, its day is at an end. Its getting donated.

Broken? Thrown away if not fixed this week or next.

I may have to go room by room.

I have an issue about books. But when I think about that lady who broke her arm due to the stairs being so piled with her husbands magazines and books-
No. No I dont want that for my life, my family. That is not who I choose to be.

Pearls (who feels like she has just experienced a mini intervention of her own)

[apretty]

Now we are watching "Obsessed" and there is a woman who cleans herself by sticking a toothbrush up her butt and is also afraid of having bowel movements. That is some deep stuff. :|

watching it now and i'm FREAKING OUT!

i just was NOT getting how you could 'lose blood and need a transfusion' in A SHOWER!

omg omg omg!!!

[kassykit]

Books are deffiantely my downfall!! and cloths..............can't seem to get rid of either... luckily i do not have very much so i can keep it right?

even if it is a book on windows 95? :)

[cane]

I wouldn't say that my grandmother is a hoarder, but... (at least she wasn't when I saw her last, of course that was many years ago, I guess those things grow worse over time).

She is a funny lady, but she loves to buy stuff, a lot of stuff, and she is very wealthy, meaning she could buy crap from here to kingdom comes and acctually afford it, and she does. I guess this could be a shoppoholic issue as well...

but anywho...the last time I was staying in her house she had been to Italy and bought Jesus statues, a lot of them, she had filled the entire guest bedroom with Jesus statues, about to my weist in height, kindly she left a little path on the floor Jesusless so that I could walk up to the bed, but who can sleep when one hundred Jesuses (is that the pluralform?) is staring at you?

(Love you nanna!)

[Queerasfck]

We are doing a purge. Today was the hall/linen closet. I went through my stuff, threw out random old crap, folded all the balled up towels and was done in 30 minutes.
Apretty is still working on her stuff. It's been about five hours so far. It's like Christmas for her right now. She's re-discovering things she hasn't seen in years. It's make up, perfumes galore, every hair product they sell, hair thingies, nail polish, cuticle stuff, all these little brushes and clippy thingies.
By the amount of some things she won't need to buy anymore tampons for the rest of the decade. Also she will never need new nail clippers or files, or Hello Kitty band-aids, or nail polish of any color.
Surprising finds from today include a key chain that says I <3 anime (she doesn't), lots of spray "essential mists" of various scents (which she had to spray all over the house to try them out and see if she still felt centered afterwards), weird perfumes/body sprays that made me think of porn stores, a brand new in package hot glue gun, new panties, and in the way back of the closet a big black tackle box. I expected to find her arsenal of guns but it turned out to be more nail files and eye brow pencils and stuff..........snooze.
We have decided to leave this forsaken desert hell and are moving back to San Diego. I want to be outta here by the end of July, sooner if possible. But we still have the garage to clear out. And it's about 100 degrees in there during the day so it's going to be a process.

[Medusa]

[FONT="Lucida Console"]We are doing a purge. Today was the hall/linen closet. I went through my stuff, threw out random old crap, folded all the balled up towels and was done in 30 minutes.
Apretty is still working on her stuff. It's been about five hours so far. It's like Christmas for her right now. She's re-discovering things she hasn't seen in years. It's make up, perfumes galore, every hair product they sell, hair thingies, nail polish, cuticle stuff, all these little brushes and clippy thingies.

See? Jack and I had the EXACT same thing happen when we moved. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "If you ever buy another nail polish or hair thing, Im going to kill you."


By the amount of some things she won't need to buy anymore tampons for the rest of the decade. Also she will never need new nail clippers or files, or Hello Kitty band-aids, or nail polish of any color.

YAY! Another tampon hoarder? Thats my girl!!!!
I love those giant boxes from Sam's club and buy a couple every time I go. I could have maximum super-duper periods for the rest of my life and never run out!!



Surprising finds from today include a key chain that says I <3 anime (she doesn't), lots of spray "essential mists" of various scents (which she had to spray all over the house to try them out and see if she still felt centered afterwards), weird perfumes/body sprays that made me think of porn stores........

Was it "Cotton Candy" scented by chance? :|


...a brand new in package hot glue gun, new panties, and in the way back of the closet a big black tackle box. I expected to find her arsenal of guns but it turned out to be more nail files and eye brow pencils and stuff..........snooze.

Did that "tackle box" say MAC on the front? :|

[Queerasfck]

Was it "Cotton Candy" scented by chance?

:|

OMdooooooooooooog, you two are twinsies!!! How did you know?

[apretty]

Was it "Cotton Candy" scented by chance? :|




cotton candy was my signature scent all the years i worked in retail--and you know who i copied the scent from? strippers (they always smell the best!)

my mother would make such fun of me because i had to go from drug store to drug store to find cotton candy body spray when i ran out. (like rite aide would have it and cvs wouldn't --or vice versa)

also, i would reapply that shit all day long (and chill it in the fridge during the summer)--a customer would walk past and announce, 'i smell cotton candy!' and i was only to proud to let them know: flirty: that's my *natural scent* or elderly lady: that's my *signature scent*!

(i could use gummy bear in a pinch but it was NOT the same!)

[Medusa]

OMdooooooooooooog, you two are twinsies!!! How did you know?

TWINS! I smelled it on a stripper once and wanted some for my own!

Jack calls it my "White Trash Oh-Da-Twat-let" :|

[Queerasfck]

cotton candy was my signature scent all the years i worked in retail--
(i could use gummy bear in a pinch but it was NOT the same!)


Gummy bear??????!

:|

[apretty]

TWINS! I smelled it on a stripper once and wanted some for my own!

Jack calls it my "White Trash Oh-Da-Twat-let" :|

JINX!!!!!!

[Medusa]

JINX!!!!!!

BWWWWWAAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!

Now Im all nostalgic and must go spray myself :princess:

[Mister Bent]

Did that "tackle box" say MAC on the front? :|

I wanted to take the boy fishing the other day and couldn't find my gear. Now I know where it got to! Lost in the bowels of apretty's hall closet.

[betenoire]

Did that "tackle box" say MAC on the front? :|

My tackle box is pink and glittery!

[Queerasfck]

My tackle box is pink and glittery!

Are you talking about a real tackle box or something else because this sounds like it could be a scene from the Vagina Monologues.

[betenoire]

Are you talking about a real tackle box or something else because this sounds like it could be a scene from the Vagina Monologues.

I'm talking about the box I keep my makeup in. I just presumed when you referred to apretty's tackle box that was really what you meant.

[freyja]

Ooooh i like the idea of a tackle box for makeup.

Actually i use a tool box for my travelling kitchen tools. Yes it's true. I have favourite tools that don't reside in normal kitchens, so when i cook for others, i take my own tool kit - except my tools are for the kitchen :D

As for being a hoarder, it isn't so much that i hoard, but i learned from my parents - they lived thru the depression - to value items and not be so quick to throw out things. Alas, the drawers fill up quickly with odds and ends.

i am now, after many years, trimming down my possessions to the mere basics and Freecycling lots.

The home is taking on a very new energy - simply amazing!!!

[betenoire]

Mine is like this (but more sparkles!)

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41hm0RkJLHL.jpg

But now that I've seen this I think I want an upgrade:

http://img.youtube.com/vi/PsOFVnwCvz0/0.jpg

[Queerasfck]

Mine is like this (but more sparkles!)

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41hm0RkJLHL.jpg

But now that I've seen this I think I want an upgrade:

http://img.youtube.com/vi/PsOFVnwCvz0/0.jpg

Great, now apretty will want to upgrade too. Is there a HK version? Nevermind, we don't need any more stuff!!!!!

[Mister Bent]

Great, now apretty will want to upgrade too. Is there a HK version? Nevermind, we don't need any more stuff!!!!!

Would now be a good time to start that Waiting thread?

[The_Lady_Snow]

Make Up Box

I want...........................:|

[Medusa]

I actually *own* the one in the top picture but now that I see there is a two-story model available...... :|

[June]

No one needs anything larger than a 4x6" bag for makeups. You can only Gild That Lily so much.

Now, stop it. You're all just being ridiculous.


Fucking Makeup SUITCASES!

[betenoire]

No one needs anything larger than a 4x6" bag for makeups. You can only Gild That Lily so much.

Now, stop it. You're all just being ridiculous.


Fucking Makeup SUITCASES!

*cry* But JUUUUUUUUUUNE!

[Medusa]

No one needs anything larger than a 4x6" bag for makeups. You can only Gild That Lily so much.

Now, stop it. You're all just being ridiculous.


Fucking Makeup SUITCASES!


Where am I supposed to put the beads for my Vajazzle?

And what about the extra brushes to pencil in the beauty mark on my hoo-hoo?

[Mister Bent]

Where am I supposed to put the beads for my Vajazzle?

And what about the extra brushes to pencil in the beauty mark on my hoo-hoo?

On your merkin, duh.

[Medusa]

On your merkin, duh.

I've always wondered when storing my copious merkins - Am I supposed to do the hotel-roll or the tri-fold?

[betenoire]

I've always wondered when storing my copious merkins - Am I supposed to do the hotel-roll or the tri-fold?

I think it's probably best to store Merkins flat.

[Random]

Last night I declaired myself a hoarder.

But not in the real world.

I am a farmville hoarder.

I don't play the game any more, but I keep clicking on things to get more pretty things that just sit on my farm and I do nothing with..

[waxnrope]

I want to take the empty soda bottle, pour gasoline about 2/3, stuff a rag in it, light it, and throw it on the pile of crap in my garage.
who me? a hoarder :rofl:

[June]

Thank you, waxnrope for attempting to get this thread back on topic. Damn Kids.

[Queerasfck]

No one needs anything larger than a 4x6" bag for makeups. You can only Gild That Lily so much.

Now, stop it. You're all just being ridiculous.


Fucking Makeup SUITCASES!

JUNE! We need you here ASAP!!! No rain, only sunshine and heat! Come and help apretty get rid of this stuffffffffffffffff.....I'm dying................

I promise you food, cake, alcohol! Whatever!!
Help!

[June]

EZ - Fuck the cake, I want the Peacock Door, which I presume is now buried under a ton of Mac and Feminine Hygeine Supplies.

[Random]

I want to take the empty soda bottle, pour gasoline about 2/3, stuff a rag in it, light it, and throw it on the pile of crap in my garage.
who me? a hoarder :rofl:

I have four black garbage bags of material that is taking up all the room in my hall closet you could add into the bon fire..

But every time i go to donate it, I just know I'm going to need to make something, or really start producing those aprons that I want to make and sell..

sigh...

[PearlsNLace]

I managed to throw away one garbage bag of stuff today,
Give one box away to GoodWill (DELIVERD IT EVEN!!!)

But now, I need, yes NEED Cotton Candy body spray.

[Mister Bent]

Thank you, waxnrope for attempting to get this thread back on topic. Damn Kids.

I contend that merkin storage is thread relevant. Proper storage techniques can make even the most obsessive hoarder easier to live with.

[Logicaly]

I'm fairly certain my father is a hoarder, and I am even more certain that he got it from his father, who I am positive is a hoarder...and then there is me, who I think walks a very fine line. If I did not force myself to throw out stuff, then I would probably consider myself a hoarder too, and perhaps I might be in some small ways since I do have to make the conscious effort to throw things out.

Lets start with my grandfather though...

He is 92, maybe even 93 years now, I am starting to lose track. He has lived in the same house, since my dad was in high school. That is a long time in one house. I remember going over there as a kid, and his garage was always packed, completely, top to bottom, with one small path through it. He has saved everything that he possibly could. He had stuff from my when my dad was a kid, and even further back then that. So we are talking at least 30-40 years worth of stuff in this garage. Of course, it didn't end there. He also had an office in the house, completely packed, wall to wall and each year, the amount of space in that room would grow smaller and smaller. Until one day, during my senior year of high school, I was over there and just looking around the house while everyone was gone. I walked into the office, and on the back of the door of the office, there was a drawing I had made, when I was about 5 years old...it occurred to me then that this man really does keep everything. At some point, when my grandfathers Alzheimer's started really progressing, family started going in and cleaning the place out. Just recently the garage was completely wiped clean (there was critters living in there, it was long over due).

So now lets progress to my father. We lived in Sacramento for awhile, and much like his father, the garage was packed full of stuff. Before long, there was a single path going through the garage, and eventually, even the path started disappearing. I had started taking after my fathers tendencies at that point (I was about 13) and my entire bedroom was completely covered, floor, piles, closet, etc. It was to say the least, terrible. I hated throwing stuff out. I saw it as mine, and that was all there was to it. So when we moved, a lot of my stuff got boxed up, and the entire contents of my fathers garage also came with.

So here we are in the Bay Area...and the garage is not as bad as it was. There is a path, and a room for a computer area, for a couple of years at least. All the stuff from my childhood, is also in this garage, in boxes. So over the ten years that my parents lived there, the garage once again started getting worse and worse. To the point to where once again, there was not even a path left. What is even worse, is it started to spread! My father built a shed in the backyard, and filled that up. When that overflowed, then it just became boxes in the backyard that my father would cover with a tarp during the rainy season. I eventually moved out, and took more with me then I should have.

When I moved into my first place by myself, it started out great, until I brought over so much stuff from my parents house that I didn't even really need. It got to the point to where I did not even have a dining room, because it was full of boxes, and every single closet, was full of boxes. And I am talking boxes that I did not even know what was in them anymore at this point. Not to mention, all my childhood stuff was still at my parents in boxes.

So then my parents moved again, and it got to the point, to where my dad was having other family members, hold onto stuff, to ship to him, when he ran outta room in two PODS, a U-Haul trailer and his SUV! I hate to say it, that some of that stuff even ended up at my place as well, with the promise that he would have it shipped to him. Needless to say, when I moved again, it was all tossed, except one item that I promised myself I would hold for him due to sentimental value.

To keep this story from getting longer then it should. My parents recently moved back to California, with my sister. He accumulated so much stuff, that between my parents, and my sister, it cost him over $2,000.00 to move everything, and that is with the military paying for a large portion of the move, and with my sister leaving all her furniture behind. Of course, with that stuff...came my boxes of childhood stuff. Yes, it is all still there, and its all still being toted around the country.

So, while I have greatly reduced my own stuff that I have kept with me over the years I have been living alone. It seems that the stuff I had thought I had left behind, is back to haunt me. Right now it is all sitting in a storage unit near my sisters place. I have promised myself, and my partner (who absolutely hates clutter, and feels I have too much stuff) that I would go to the storage unit and purge the majority of it, only keeping a few items to pass onto our children when we have them. However, I could just as easily bring all the boxes home here, and not even bother going through them, and store them away in the closet or storage if I allowed myself to do so.

So that is all I have to say about that for now. Like I said, I do walk a fine line, but I make the conscious effort to make sure that line does not get crossed and that I do not become my grandfather or father in that sense.

[PearlsNLace]

I hate the feeling of "I made need this someday"

It doesnt seem to matter what it is. A pair of pants out of fashion- and 3 sized to small, or a set of hand weights I dont imagine us ever needing. But gods forbide- WE MIGHT.
If I give/throw away, there is a part of me that is just certain I will be spending money on buying it again down the road.

Or, worse, that I will NEED it. And be in a financial position that I wont be able to buy it when i need it.

As my self esteem is improving, its getting easier to get rid of clothes that are stained or ripped- even though my internal scaredy voice tells me that I COULD turn that into fabric for project xyz.

Well, folks, I am trying to get rid of 20 years of projects xyz that have never been touched. Over half have been aquired by more savvy purgers who gave them to me. I now have a room full of such projects. As well as a closet full of clothes given to me as friends have shrunk. If I kept only the clothes I have purchased I would have just enough to put in one suitcase. Er, well, the socks would have thier own suitcase the same size.... thats another story.

We would like to have a houseboi at some point. IF I can clear the room, that is actually a possibility, not just a pipe dream.

It helps having a reason to purge, not just for purging sake. It sort of provides ammo against the fears of not having for later.

:seeingstars:

[Bit]

{{{{{{{{{{{{Logicaly, Pearls}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thanks for sharing your stories with us. It helps me to see myself more clearly.

I don't walk the fine line Logicaly walks; I can give, throw away, or sell my stuff. But I DO walk the line Pearls walks--I am always thinking to myself, "but sure as I get rid of it, I'll NEED it!" because it has happened so often in my life that I have thought of a use for something only after it was gone. And like Pearls said, that need always seems to come when I have no money to replace whatever it was.... but it has never been anything truly important, yanno? So it has never really been a "need," only a "want" and usually a delayed want at that.... seriously, if I COULD NOT think of a way to use an item for all the time that I owned it, just how important could it have been?

What I've learned from losing my possessions in floods and from being destitute is that when you make room in your life by getting rid of stuff, more stuff shows up. *it's like a Law of Nature, lol* The nicest furniture I ever owned was given to me after the worst flood, yanno? I had to leave it behind when I moved to Kansas and I thought I would never be able to replace it, but the bargains I have found at the local thrift store have furnished my kitchen and my craft room, and the kindness of friends has helped to furnish That House. I may yet have furniture that good or better; you just never know.

The utter thrill I feel from finding just the perfect thing in the thrift store--for instance, Revere Ware pans, and cast iron skillets; or Our Beauty, the very best sewing machine I have ever owned--leads me to say prayers of thanksgiving that someone else was willing to let these items go so that I could have them. That makes me think that other people might be just as thrilled with my stuff, if they were to find it in the thrift store.

The take-away lesson for me is that when I hold on tight-fisted "because I may need that someday" then my hands are not open to receive anything better; there is no room in my life for anything more to come along. And yes, I went for a lot of years with very little, and it was hard to do without sometimes; but it was only an inconvenience. Everything I actually NEEDED was there, when I needed it.

If I am willing to be part of the cycle and flow of abundance, if I am willing to look at the universe as a place where what I need appears when I need it, then I don't have to hold on to so much stuff. I can participate in the cycle both ways, by giving away what is not necessary right now and by receiving what I need down the road.


...can y'all tell I'm trying to talk myself into getting rid of more craft supplies? *sheepish smile*

[freyja]

Bit that was a wonderful post. Thank you!

i can personalize with your feelings, and that cycle of letting go and being able to receive.

i have recently Freecycled and donated to the local independent thrift shop a LOT of items in my NEED to downsize. And yes, last night, i went to a potluck and needed a plastic tray, that i JUST gave to charity this past week. Oh well.

Today i am participating in a clothing/book social swap. i am very excited to get rid of even more of my clothes. i am goiing to bite the bullet and take to heart the "if you haven't worn it in a year, likely you won't wear it this year".

i am going to be ruthless (this might be scary) and haul out a lot of my clothes. I mean, there are only 7 days in a week, how many summer clothes do i actually need?
Let them go, let them go, let them go!!!!!

Yes i am excited to clean out my closet, but in return, i will receive tokens for my donated items to the swap and then i get to go shopping.
i am a little scared to bring home stuff. Egads, that isn't downsizing, is it?

But, i might find something i could wear for a year and then recycle this at the next swap. Who knows. This is going to be an interesting exercise for me.

[freyja]

I just went back to see the pretty pictures of makeup cases and suitcases. Oh my! Really!

I recently bought myself a makeup box, one of those little ones with the handle, only because i wanted to get organized a bit better.

But I am thinking, I really should throw out some of my stuff.
Again, how many bottles of nail polish do i really need?
How many shades of eye shadow do i really need?
How many this n that's do i need that i never use!!!!!!

Breathe girlie, breathe.
And toss one two three four, toss one two three four. :giggle:

[Bit]

I bet those tokens don't expire, freyja... can you save them until something comes along that you do need, like a new (new to you, I mean) coat?

Okay, really, I bet you could find all kinds of things right away, lol... I know I would!

Oh and those makeup cases? Wouldn't they also hold jewelry and even hair doodles (scrunchies, barrettes, combs, etc)? That would make them multi-purpose and extremely useful!

[apretty]

Mine is like this (but more sparkles!)

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41hm0RkJLHL.jpg

But now that I've seen this I think I want an upgrade:

http://img.youtube.com/vi/PsOFVnwCvz0/0.jpg

prrrrrrrretty.

mine's boring black from sephora: (and everything won't even fit in it--i just keep 'special' non-daily makeups/brushes in there)


http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_mcooZ--4gM8/Rk2Y-Yu7VyI/AAAAAAAADyY/zv0iuYin4AU/s400/Midnight+Tool.jpg

[PearlsNLace]

Today I am overwhelmed with how much left there is to clean. To cull.

I have 2 sewing machines. And they are the same kind. And I am stuck. wich one do I cull? THe singer, that is my age (yup, still works. But the tension is off, and I dont know how to fix it) or the lighter, newer one that is an off brand (that also seems to be developing some tension problems)
I should mention I havent sewn in a year, due to lack of time and space.

This house is still in such a state of perpetual mess that even trying to cull is hard, cause the mass of laundry and dishes I SWEAR must self reproduce demands time and attention.

Im getting help. A nice gay man put an add in Craigslist that he is accepting new clients for housecleaning, at a price I can afford to pay for an hour, or 2, a week.

Ive never had such a service before. Do I tip him? What can I expect him to help with? How do I conduct an interview smack dab in the middle of this little but terribly overwhelming mess I find myself living in- while appearing to look like a rational reasonable adult?

Just for this moment, Im going to worry less about THAT moment, and shut off the computer, and do another load of dishes.

I am contemplating a personal reward system- so much time on computer for so much time cleaning. I wonder- has anyone tried, and succeeded, with such a plan? Or similar?

-feeling much more like a grain of sand today, instead of a pearl

[June]

I think putting yourself on a reward system is a great way of self-moderating behaviors.

Say "I will clear off this one counter space right now and then I will..." Then do it. I am a horribly messy cook and I don't mind loading the dishwasher, but I am not a fan of unloading it.

Anyway, I wanted to respond and encourage you to keep moving forward. I think I would donate the newer sewing machine and keep the older one, go put them both in your car now and take the older one to a shop for a tune-up, then drop the other one off at Goodwill or another place like that on your way back.

[Bit]

Dear Grain of Sand,

I never tipped the housecleaner... they get all the money to begin with, if they're self-employed and not working for a company like Merry Maids.

Remember that you're in the mess you're in because you combined two households and immediately started cramming for your nursing boards while Nick worked double shifts. You are not only a rational and reasonable adult, you're a HIGHLY productive member of society! Now you are aiding the economic recovery by helping another member of society remain productive; this is a win-win situation!

He'll tell you what he's willing to clean and how often. I once had cleaning help and I swear it was THE BEST thing I could have done. Once the place was cleaned up, I was sooooo motivated to keep it nice that even more cleaning got done, yanno? I would clean a little every day and the housecleaner would come once a week, OHHH it was lovely.

I agree with June, keep the Singer; it's likely to be MUCH better quality and a tune-up will do it a world of good. Older Singers were built to last, yanno? Once it works properly, have the nice gay cleaner help you make a space for sewing--I bet you'll sew again once you have that space.

I also bet that once you realize that you have help and that things WILL get done, you'll be much better able to take time for sewing too.

I do that reward system all the time--clean this and go back online, cook that and go back online--it works GREAT.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Pearl}}}}}}}}}}}}} You're gonna LOVE it. if this guy doesn't work out, look for someone else... it WILL be worth it!

Forever Sold on Cleaning Services

[PearlsNLace]

Dear June & Forever Sold,

Thanks for the advice,the love, the reminders and the support.

~Grain of sand with hopes of pearlizing

[julieisafemme]

I cleaned houses for years in college. The main thing is to clear off all the surfaces that are to be cleaned. If I had to pick up clothes off the floor to vacuum or mop then it would not be as good a job, or depending on how much I had to clear I might just not do it at all. If there are dishes in the sink and on the counter then those things might not be cleaned as well.

Don't worry about what he thinks. He does this for a living and I am sure he has seen worse!!! You are paying him for a service. Some housekeepers will do laundry, ironing, dishes, clearing clutter and some won't. Maybe to start you can have him help you clear the clutter room by room? Then once that is done you can have him clean regularly? Until the clutter is cleaned up you won't get a good clean. Have him do those things you like to do the least. That way they are sure to get done.

Tips are unnecessary but a gift during the holidays is always appreciated!

Oh and be there in the house the first couple of times. I know it is hard to be there when someone cleans but that way you can answer questions and make sure things are being done as you would like. Also follow up regularly and let him know what you appreciate and what could be done a bit better.




Today I am overwhelmed with how much left there is to clean. To cull.

I have 2 sewing machines. And they are the same kind. And I am stuck. wich one do I cull? THe singer, that is my age (yup, still works. But the tension is off, and I dont know how to fix it) or the lighter, newer one that is an off brand (that also seems to be developing some tension problems)
I should mention I havent sewn in a year, due to lack of time and space.

This house is still in such a state of perpetual mess that even trying to cull is hard, cause the mass of laundry and dishes I SWEAR must self reproduce demands time and attention.

Im getting help. A nice gay man put an add in Craigslist that he is accepting new clients for housecleaning, at a price I can afford to pay for an hour, or 2, a week.

Ive never had such a service before. Do I tip him? What can I expect him to help with? How do I conduct an interview smack dab in the middle of this little but terribly overwhelming mess I find myself living in- while appearing to look like a rational reasonable adult?

Just for this moment, Im going to worry less about THAT moment, and shut off the computer, and do another load of dishes.

I am contemplating a personal reward system- so much time on computer for so much time cleaning. I wonder- has anyone tried, and succeeded, with such a plan? Or similar?

-feeling much more like a grain of sand today, instead of a pearl

[Butterbean]

I have this thing with clothing and it stems out of a few issues. Firstly, I can drop or grain 25 pounds in very short time frames. Secondly, I seldom wear clothes out because I use cold water and hang dry a lot of things. Finally, I buy a lot of them.

Right now, in a 1 bedroom house, I have 2 walk in closets, 2 armoires, 3 chest of drawers, and 1 jumbo dresser- all full of clothes.

Even my nightstand next to the bed is filled with panthose and trouser socks and interesting things like that.

Hoarders makes me nervous. I dun wanna be a hoarder and I dun think buying a bigger house is the solution to this issue.

The worst part is....I have 6 jackets, boxes of scarves and gloves, and tundra boots and dress boots. Many of these items are good to like -20 below. I live in the desert. lol....

I've hauled off 3 trunkloads of clothes to the thrift store. These are the items that are so big for me that they aren't even usable. There are still at least 2 large boxes in the garage that probably need to go.

This made a dent. That's it. A dent. Sigh. Then, all I do is run out and by shorts since they work better for me than artic boots and jackets. lol

Then there's that shoe problem...




.

[christie]

Then there's that shoe problem...

Hey now! Shoes are a completely different issue! I think they are exempt from hoarding! :seeingstars:

[christie]

Pearls -

I have had a housekeeper for at least a decade and will tell you that its the best thing I have ever done for self.

At first, it made me feel overindulgent and somewhat "less than" - I mean, after all, we women are raised to believe that we are superwomen - we work full time, caretake both children and spouses/partners AND should be June Cleaver. I had a hard time justifying the expense in relation to "I should be able to keep my own damn house clean."

There was NOTHING like coming home that first time and the entire house being clean, fresh sheets on the beds, floors mopped, dusting completed, bathrooms gleaming. It just felt amazing to know that all I had to do was get dinner for Bratboy and not have to worry about laundry, etc (I had contracted for her to also do the laundry).

When Jess and I first moved in together, I tried not having a housekeeper and it worked for a while, but once I got settled in a job, we found a local lady who came every other week. Jess was very quickly sold on the idea!

Since Jess is now HouseDaddy extraordinaire, we don't have a housekeeper. I am considering finding one for the once a month "intense" cleaning because I think it would free us up for more funtime and also to take it off Jess's plate. With the installation of the pool and all the new landscaping, the addition of another dog, I would like to have that lil luxury of "one less thing".

I say all this to reinforce all the positive benefits of having some hired domestic help. Taking cleaning, at least part of it, off your to-do list can be a huge relief and I have found that the monetary expense has never outweighed the positive impact it has on my life.

Best,
C







Today I am overwhelmed with how much left there is to clean. To cull.

I have 2 sewing machines. And they are the same kind. And I am stuck. wich one do I cull? THe singer, that is my age (yup, still works. But the tension is off, and I dont know how to fix it) or the lighter, newer one that is an off brand (that also seems to be developing some tension problems)
I should mention I havent sewn in a year, due to lack of time and space.

This house is still in such a state of perpetual mess that even trying to cull is hard, cause the mass of laundry and dishes I SWEAR must self reproduce demands time and attention.

Im getting help. A nice gay man put an add in Craigslist that he is accepting new clients for housecleaning, at a price I can afford to pay for an hour, or 2, a week.

Ive never had such a service before. Do I tip him? What can I expect him to help with? How do I conduct an interview smack dab in the middle of this little but terribly overwhelming mess I find myself living in- while appearing to look like a rational reasonable adult?

Just for this moment, Im going to worry less about THAT moment, and shut off the computer, and do another load of dishes.

I am contemplating a personal reward system- so much time on computer for so much time cleaning. I wonder- has anyone tried, and succeeded, with such a plan? Or similar?

-feeling much more like a grain of sand today, instead of a pearl

[Gemme]

I just went back to see the pretty pictures of makeup cases and suitcases. Oh my! Really!

I recently bought myself a makeup box, one of those little ones with the handle, only because i wanted to get organized a bit better.

But I am thinking, I really should throw out some of my stuff.
Again, how many bottles of nail polish do i really need?
How many shades of eye shadow do i really need?
How many this n that's do i need that i never use!!!!!!

Breathe girlie, breathe.
And toss one two three four, toss one two three four. :giggle:

Also remember that make up is only good for so long. Mascaras for up to 6 months and most shadows for only up to 3 months. Lipsticks are also only good for a few months. Anything more than 6 months old, I'd toss. If the polishes are more than a year old, I'd toss them too.


I'm like Butterbean in that I hold onto clothes (and shoes) a lot. I can also easily drop and gain about 10 pounds, so there's more clothes to fit those sizes. I'm going to have a yard sale at the end of this month and whatever is left is getting donated. My upcoming move has spurred me to action in downsizing and reducing the weight of my belongings. Frankly, it's one of the best things to happen in regards to my 'stuff'. I'm able to prioritize more easily now.

[PearlsNLace]

My new rule on clothes- If I have not worn it in 1 full year, it goes. If its it an article of clothing that is currently for this weather ( Its summer now, so, Im talking about summer clothes) and Im still not wearing them, Im donating them, or throwing them away. If they are more than 2 sizes too small, they are going away too. Forget the goal clothes. When I shrink back into that size, damnit, I want to celebrate with NEW clothes.

[friskyfemme]

Also remember that make up is only good for so long. Mascaras for up to 6 months and most shadows for only up to 3 months. Lipsticks are also only good for a few months. Anything more than 6 months old, I'd toss. If the polishes are more than a year old, I'd toss them too.


I'm like Butterbean in that I hold onto clothes (and shoes) a lot. I can also easily drop and gain about 10 pounds, so there's more clothes to fit those sizes. I'm going to have a yard sale at the end of this month and whatever is left is getting donated. My upcoming move has spurred me to action in downsizing and reducing the weight of my belongings. Frankly, it's one of the best things to happen in regards to my 'stuff'. I'm able to prioritize more easily now.
My move from my house after 13yrs really helped me downsize. However after 10 years from then, I am seriously realizing I need to 'pretend move' again. Where the hell did all this come from?!

Where ya movin to Gemme?

[friskyfemme]

My new rule on clothes- If I have not worn it in 1 full year, it goes. If its it an article of clothing that is currently for this weather ( Its summer now, so, Im talking about summer clothes) and Im still not wearing them, Im donating them, or throwing them away. If they are more than 2 sizes too small, they are going away too. Forget the goal clothes. When I shrink back into that size, damnit, I want to celebrate with NEW clothes.
I have a split on this rule. I haven't worn it in a year is it becuz:a) it doesn't look great on me (get rid of it), b) it's too small (get on a diet), c) out of style but looks great on me (save it for vintage return 3-5yrs... becomes one of kind), d) if my mom gave it to me wear it when I go home...:)

Shoes...well if it feels good on my feet and still has a sole...I'm keepin em!

[lipstixgal]

I have a lot of clothes too small for me I have gained weight I don't know if I should give them away or just wait for the weight to come off!! Any suggestions??

[Medusa]

I have a lot of clothes too small for me I have gained weight I don't know if I should give them away or just wait for the weight to come off!! Any suggestions??

Donate them, girlie! Love the size you are in now by getting things that you love and that fit you and if you lose weight later, get things that fit you then! I am cutting loose a bunch of "goal" clothing right now because I feel like Im taking up room with the "might happens" and leaving less room for the "happening right now".:goodluck:

[Chancie]

I have a House Boy who does the heavy cleaning in my little house once a month.

I do tidy before he cleans so he can focus on vacuuming and scrubbing the bathrooms.

I am not a hoarder, and I love to throw away items that are neither useful nor beautiful.

Keeping broken household items or worn clothes around makes me feel 'less than'.

Because of my family history, it's very important to me that my home is clean and comfortable.

For me, taking care of my house makes me feel good and healthy.

I felt terrible when health issues got in the way of taking care of my house.

[Medusa]

So I've been digging some stuff out for the Femme Clothing Swap and decided a few days ago that if I came across stuff that could be donated to the Dorcas House (they take clothing, books, etc. like Goodwill) that I would go ahead and start a box.

I was watching an episode of "Wife Swap" last year (and I generally HATE that show so this was a freak accident) and there was one crazy lady who had an "organizing" business and had anally labeled everything in her house and walked around with a toolbelt full of labels, markers, bands to bind things, and a labelmaker. She had a rule to organizing and purging.

It was something like "Do you love it? Do you need it? Do you use it?"

It happened to pop into my head as I was clearing some things from the closets and I was AMAZED at how quickly 5 boxes of crap piled up!!

Even more amazing was that it occured to me that I am reallly bad about having crap in my house that I dont love and that this has probably added to why I sometimes feel like the house doesnt represent me.

For example: Ive had this little box sitting on my nightstand since we moved in. Someone that I worked with like 7 years ago gave it to me in a "Dirty Santa" gift exchange. Its a decorative padded box that is about 5 inches tall and it has pineapples all over it and a giant tassle hanging off of it. I have thrown my jewelry in it a few times but pretty much ignore it other than that.
I was cleaning and looked at it and said, "Do I love this?" and it was super easy to pick it up, empty it of its contents and chuck it in the donate box.
Im going to keep doing that until I feel like my house is decluttered and more filled with the things that I love.
:)

Anyone else have a process? Id love to hear more ideas.

[christie]

So I've been digging some stuff out for the Femme Clothing Swap and decided a few days ago that if I came across stuff that could be donated to the Dorcas House (they take clothing, books, etc. like Goodwill) that I would go ahead and start a box.

I was watching an episode of "Wife Swap" last year (and I generally HATE that show so this was a freak accident) and there was one crazy lady who had an "organizing" business and had anally labeled everything in her house and walked around with a toolbelt full of labels, markers, bands to bind things, and a labelmaker. She had a rule to organizing and purging.

It was something like "Do you love it? Do you need it? Do you use it?"

It happened to pop into my head as I was clearing some things from the closets and I was AMAZED at how quickly 5 boxes of crap piled up!!

Even more amazing was that it occured to me that I am reallly bad about having crap in my house that I dont love and that this has probably added to why I sometimes feel like the house doesnt represent me.

For example: Ive had this little box sitting on my nightstand since we moved in. Someone that I worked with like 7 years ago gave it to me in a "Dirty Santa" gift exchange. Its a decorative padded box that is about 5 inches tall and it has pineapples all over it and a giant tassle hanging off of it. I have thrown my jewelry in it a few times but pretty much ignore it other than that.
I was cleaning and looked at it and said, "Do I love this?" and it was super easy to pick it up, empty it of its contents and chuck it in the donate box.
Im going to keep doing that until I feel like my house is decluttered and more filled with the things that I love.
:)

Anyone else have a process? Id love to hear more ideas.

I always ask myself "Why?" as I am cleaning/tidying. Why do I have it? That generally leads into "Do we use it?, Can we live without it?" I find that even as minimalistic as we tend to be, there seems to always be so MUCH CRAP!

I have mentioned my folks and their hoarding/collecting behaviors. What I may have failed to mention is that my near-17 year old son has lived with them for the last 4 years to attend a school for autistic kids. Due to some organic dementia-esque things going on with my mother, we have made the decision for Bratboy to come here to live. I am headed to TN next week to pack up his things and move them here.

More stuff? In our house? Christ on a cracker! I am SO dreading having to undo the hoarding/collecting habits that he has picked up from them in such a short time. He is worst about food. He wants to "save it". He has been allowed to leave his partially eaten dinner in the microwave/fridge to "eat later." I'm not talking about leftovers. I'm talking about the last three bites of something.

It squicks me out. It squicks Jess out. I try to explain to him that its not safe (in the case of leaving it in the micro) and there is no shortage of food in this house - chuck it and if you need that 2am snack, there are plenty of options.

Its gonna be a long road. Not just because of the hoarding/collecting crap, but finding a way to undo that logic in someone who is not neuro-typical.

Wish us luck! We're gonna need it!

[Gemme]

I have a lot of clothes too small for me I have gained weight I don't know if I should give them away or just wait for the weight to come off!! Any suggestions??

Do you have any friends or family that could...nix that...WOULD use the clothing? Or, like someone said, donate it. Or yard sale it. I've held onto sooo many clothes that were *almost* _________. I'm starting another purge on Sunday.

I always ask myself "Why?" as I am cleaning/tidying. Why do I have it? That generally leads into "Do we use it?, Can we live without it?" I find that even as minimalistic as we tend to be, there seems to always be so MUCH CRAP!

I have mentioned my folks and their hoarding/collecting behaviors. What I may have failed to mention is that my near-17 year old son has lived with them for the last 4 years to attend a school for autistic kids. Due to some organic dementia-esque things going on with my mother, we have made the decision for Bratboy to come here to live. I am headed to TN next week to pack up his things and move them here.

More stuff? In our house? Christ on a cracker! I am SO dreading having to undo the hoarding/collecting habits that he has picked up from them in such a short time. He is worst about food. He wants to "save it". He has been allowed to leave his partially eaten dinner in the microwave/fridge to "eat later." I'm not talking about leftovers. I'm talking about the last three bites of something.

It squicks me out. It squicks Jess out. I try to explain to him that its not safe (in the case of leaving it in the micro) and there is no shortage of food in this house - chuck it and if you need that 2am snack, there are plenty of options.

Its gonna be a long road. Not just because of the hoarding/collecting crap, but finding a way to undo that logic in someone who is not neuro-typical.

Wish us luck! We're gonna need it!

I'm like that sometimes, but I learned it from being hungry as a child. I tend to store things for later, although it's mostly canned and dry goods. I don't hang onto leftovers. That would also squick me out.

Of course, now that I think about it, I don't leave many leftovers. :blink:

Good luck!

[friskyfemme]

So I've been digging some stuff out for the Femme Clothing Swap and decided a few days ago that if I came across stuff that could be donated to the Dorcas House (they take clothing, books, etc. like Goodwill) that I would go ahead and start a box.

I was watching an episode of "Wife Swap" last year (and I generally HATE that show so this was a freak accident) and there was one crazy lady who had an "organizing" business and had anally labeled everything in her house and walked around with a toolbelt full of labels, markers, bands to bind things, and a labelmaker. She had a rule to organizing and purging.

It was something like "Do you love it? Do you need it? Do you use it?"

It happened to pop into my head as I was clearing some things from the closets and I was AMAZED at how quickly 5 boxes of crap piled up!!

Even more amazing was that it occured to me that I am reallly bad about having crap in my house that I dont love and that this has probably added to why I sometimes feel like the house doesnt represent me.

For example: Ive had this little box sitting on my nightstand since we moved in. Someone that I worked with like 7 years ago gave it to me in a "Dirty Santa" gift exchange. Its a decorative padded box that is about 5 inches tall and it has pineapples all over it and a giant tassle hanging off of it. I have thrown my jewelry in it a few times but pretty much ignore it other than that.
I was cleaning and looked at it and said, "Do I love this?" and it was super easy to pick it up, empty it of its contents and chuck it in the donate box.
Im going to keep doing that until I feel like my house is decluttered and more filled with the things that I love.
:)

Anyone else have a process? Id love to hear more ideas.
I 'do love' your system for clearing. :-)

[Bit]

I tried to post here yesterday but honestly I think I'm too cranky. It was a huge rant, and I clicked out of it midway--isn't that awful, I had what seemed like PAGES of rant going and I knew I was only halfway done?! oy---anyhow, I'm trying very hard right now NOT to hoard my anger and frustration. I'm trying very hard to let them go and get on with my life.

It's hormonal, it really is, damned cycles. I can suddenly relate to my mom throwing everything away in fits of uncontrollable rage once a month; I have to sit on my hands to keep from doing the same right now. She used to rearrange the furniture; poor Dad never knew what he was coming home to and sometimes thought he was in the wrong house.

I mowed the lawn. It helped to get the emotions unstuck and moving, and it made me too tired to throw anyone's stuff away (even my own), so that's a good thing.

I've had to work really hard all my adult life to not hoard emotions. Funny how the good ones--love, happiness, peacefulness--are all so ephemeral, and the bad ones--anger, rage, bitterness, self pity--all stick to your ribs like a hearty breakfast laced with poison.

It's been so hard these past two days I actually considered turning the dogs loose and throwing myself into the river to drown :hamactor: then I remembered it's a ditch, not a river, and all I would do is get poison ivy on the way down and break a bone on the concrete when I landed. Plus the water is dirty and the algae would stain my clothes. :hrmph:

*can't even be all dramatic properly this weekend, my gawds how disgusting*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I'm utterly frustrated with That House right now. We had to undo all that lovely progress. The computers had to come back into the dining room and we ended up with the back bedroom shut off from the house, being a storage room again. Once again, we cannot use our dining room table.

There aren't enough electrical outlets in That House, and they aren't in the right places. There isn't adequate heating and cooling in That House, either. So no matter how we try to rearrange things, they end up back where they were and the house remains dysfunctional.

A house filled with boxes and tubs and stuff in the wrong rooms doesn't represent me at all. I fully expected to have a house that is serene and beautiful, a place where people could drop by at any time, a house where our social group could meet... and instead we're living in a glorified storage locker without adequate closets and without functional kitchen cabinets, a place where there's a place for nothing and everything is out of place. *sigh* Back to the drawing board yet again.

I wish I weren't too scared to do my own electrical wiring. I do know how... I'm just afraid of it.

[friskyfemme]

I tried to post here yesterday but honestly I think I'm too cranky. It was a huge rant, and I clicked out of it midway--isn't that awful, I had what seemed like PAGES of rant going and I knew I was only halfway done?! oy---anyhow, I'm trying very hard right now NOT to hoard my anger and frustration. I'm trying very hard to let them go and get on with my life.

It's hormonal, it really is, damned cycles. I can suddenly relate to my mom throwing everything away in fits of uncontrollable rage once a month; I have to sit on my hands to keep from doing the same right now. She used to rearrange the furniture; poor Dad never knew what he was coming home to and sometimes thought he was in the wrong house.

I mowed the lawn. It helped to get the emotions unstuck and moving, and it made me too tired to throw anyone's stuff away (even my own), so that's a good thing.

I've had to work really hard all my adult life to not hoard emotions. Funny how the good ones--love, happiness, peacefulness--are all so ephemeral, and the bad ones--anger, rage, bitterness, self pity--all stick to your ribs like a hearty breakfast laced with poison.

It's been so hard these past two days I actually considered turning the dogs loose and throwing myself into the river to drown :hamactor: then I remembered it's a ditch, not a river, and all I would do is get poison ivy on the way down and break a bone on the concrete when I landed. Plus the water is dirty and the algae would stain my clothes. :hrmph:

*can't even be all dramatic properly this weekend, my gawds how disgusting*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I'm utterly frustrated with That House right now. We had to undo all that lovely progress. The computers had to come back into the dining room and we ended up with the back bedroom shut off from the house, being a storage room again. Once again, we cannot use our dining room table.

There aren't enough electrical outlets in That House, and they aren't in the right places. There isn't adequate heating and cooling in That House, either. So no matter how we try to rearrange things, they end up back where they were and the house remains dysfunctional.

A house filled with boxes and tubs and stuff in the wrong rooms doesn't represent me at all. I fully expected to have a house that is serene and beautiful, a place where people could drop by at any time, a house where our social group could meet... and instead we're living in a glorified storage locker without adequate closets and without functional kitchen cabinets, a place where there's a place for nothing and everything is out of place. *sigh* Back to the drawing board yet again.

I wish I weren't too scared to do my own electrical wiring. I do know how... I'm just afraid of it.
Bit,

I can relate. I want my house to be that comfortable, clean, and uncluttered place. My problem is really more about hanging onto papers (bills, receipt, warranties, instructions) way beyond the time I need them. I just anal about throwing out something I 'might' need later. The irony here is that if I did need a particular paper, it most likely would take all day to locate it in the boxes I have. I have actually become so frustrated of piles of things that need repaired (clothes, furniture, jewelry, etc...). I am dedicating this weekend to tossing the trash, filing paper I keep. Sorting is my biggest hurdle with my dyslexia. After I get more than 3 piles, I get disoriented. So I need to sort 1st time thru 1) recycle 2) shred 3) keep pile. Then, sort 'keep' pile into legal, business, personal.
Then sort each category into current (within this year), last year, prior to last year. With my ADD, I get so frustrated I just want to toss it all.

^5

[Bit]

Ah FF, I keep thinking, "it shouldn't be so difficult! I know what to do!" But then, I don't have a filing cabinet. We don't have enough bookshelves or dressers. We may never have enough kitchen storage, unless I can figure out how to rehab the insides of the splintery cheap cupboards (fiberboard?). Cans of spray enamel? Do they make a spray primer? Are the fumes safe for cats? Would it even work? Would it seal the surfaces enough that I could put my dishes and food into them without getting splinters in my hands?

There are papers you're supposed to keep, but how would I ever lay my hands on them? I know where the income taxes are, and the current bills, but it took me TWO MONTHS to find the paperwork on the plumbing repairs. Who knew there were bills in that little bitty box; I thought it was my beads.... at one point, it had been my beads. Oy, so here I am looking high and low for the paperwork and not finding it until I started looking for my beads... oy.

I have things which need washed, things which need repaired, things which need taken to the thrift store... but mostly, things which need furniture to be put away into.

Oh, and a tool box! We need one of those big toolboxes so I can have my linen cupboard back... sheets and towels in the linen closet... imagine.

I never in my life thought I would end up living this way. *shakes head*

[Medusa]

Oh Bit - How I feel your pain about not having anywhere to put the crap!

So lemme just regale everyone with my lovely and oh-so-wonderful office crappery.

We moved in here a year ago August 22. My office was crammed with basically everything that didnt go in other rooms, random shit that had gotten mixed in with actual office crap, ebay stuff, copious art supplies, and papers....tons and tons and tons of papers.

The office had to get in line behind the rest of the house when we started unpacking, organizing, and decorating because I just didnt think I would use it that often. Jack and I keep our laptops on the footrest so our "office" ends up being in the living room 99.9% of the time so the office has stayed in such a state that I hate to even walk in there.
I sent Juney a photo of it several months ago and was so embarrassed about my mess that I couldnt bring myself to post it here in the thread.

Tonight, I finally feel like I am over the hump with the organizing and cleaning in there!! I have been devoting a couple hours a week to the office for several months now and have succeeded in unpacking all of the remaining boxes of junk, donating an unending pile of crap, and sorting the craft supplies, art supplies, fabric, and 12 years worth of paper.

I can NOT believe the amount of shit that was STILL in the office after me moving to California, us moving FROM California, and at least 4 huge purges during all of that. I thought I had pared down to the basics, only the things that I needed before our last move since space was at such a premium on the moving truck. I am just sick when I think back to all of the paper I have shredded over the last 6 months. I bet it was about 50lbs worth. :|
I have also donated lots of random crap. Those weird Barbie dolls that were still in the box that a coworker gave me? Gone. Fake plastic greenery? Gone. Ugly and broken depression glass? Gone (I told Juney today on the phone that I didnt even really like the depression pieces I had but that it was all I could afford at the time- the broken and chipped pieces)

Right now, there isnt anything on the floor and the bookshelves are starting to look organized. The desk has been cleared of 15 inches of paper. I can see the bottom, y'all!!!!

[christie]

I tried to post here yesterday but honestly I think I'm too cranky. It was a huge rant, and I clicked out of it midway--isn't that awful, I had what seemed like PAGES of rant going and I knew I was only halfway done?! oy---anyhow, I'm trying very hard right now NOT to hoard my anger and frustration. I'm trying very hard to let them go and get on with my life.

It's hormonal, it really is, damned cycles. I can suddenly relate to my mom throwing everything away in fits of uncontrollable rage once a month; I have to sit on my hands to keep from doing the same right now. She used to rearrange the furniture; poor Dad never knew what he was coming home to and sometimes thought he was in the wrong house.

I mowed the lawn. It helped to get the emotions unstuck and moving, and it made me too tired to throw anyone's stuff away (even my own), so that's a good thing.

I've had to work really hard all my adult life to not hoard emotions. Funny how the good ones--love, happiness, peacefulness--are all so ephemeral, and the bad ones--anger, rage, bitterness, self pity--all stick to your ribs like a hearty breakfast laced with poison.

It's been so hard these past two days I actually considered turning the dogs loose and throwing myself into the river to drown :hamactor: then I remembered it's a ditch, not a river, and all I would do is get poison ivy on the way down and break a bone on the concrete when I landed. Plus the water is dirty and the algae would stain my clothes. :hrmph:

*can't even be all dramatic properly this weekend, my gawds how disgusting*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I'm utterly frustrated with That House right now. We had to undo all that lovely progress. The computers had to come back into the dining room and we ended up with the back bedroom shut off from the house, being a storage room again. Once again, we cannot use our dining room table.

There aren't enough electrical outlets in That House, and they aren't in the right places. There isn't adequate heating and cooling in That House, either. So no matter how we try to rearrange things, they end up back where they were and the house remains dysfunctional.

A house filled with boxes and tubs and stuff in the wrong rooms doesn't represent me at all. I fully expected to have a house that is serene and beautiful, a place where people could drop by at any time, a house where our social group could meet... and instead we're living in a glorified storage locker without adequate closets and without functional kitchen cabinets, a place where there's a place for nothing and everything is out of place. *sigh* Back to the drawing board yet again.

I wish I weren't too scared to do my own electrical wiring. I do know how... I'm just afraid of it.


Awwww, Bit! We know how you feel about lack of closets and electrical outlets. These old house seem to have so few of both.

One of the ways we solved the outlet issue is that our handyfella is studying to be an electrician. He has had enough education that he is able to do things like install ceiling lights and ceiling fans and has added/moved outlets for us. Sometimes they haven't been prettily installed in the walls, but the house hasn't caught fire yet either!

I know that this isn't the "right" way to do it, but we didn't have the budget to have the entire house rewired.

Its just a thought - maybe you could contact the local community college or vo-tech school and see if perhaps a student could do some of this for you?

Or, to be honest with you, in watching handyfella and asking questions, I think that Jess and I are more than able to do the things we paid him to do. I think if you take the fear of electricity out by cutting the main, well, I'm just not scared of working with it like I used to be.

You did bring up a good point about hoarding emotions and I will be back later to post about it. I am not an emotional hoarder - I am a drive-by huffer (as Jess proclaimed one night) and I think that when we stuff those emotions down and not let them out, we give fuel to physical manifestations - and I think that it contributes to conditions like fribro and cfs.

[Bit]

Dusa, many many congratulations on your progress!!! That is a huge accomplishment!

Have you noticed that whenever a room becomes a catch-all it's like everything freezes in place, energetically, and no matter what you do, you can't seem to get started on cleaning it up? For me, I look at rooms like that and I'm baffled--where the hell do I START?!--and I end up closing the door and walking away, utterly defeated before I begin. If your office was like that then double congrats are in order!!

Christie, it's the power main that scares me, the breaker box. What we need isn't outlets run from one existing place to a better place; we need brand new wiring brought from the breaker box to brand new outlets, so that we have enough. Probably that means we need a new box with more breakers.

Or maybe it means I have to go find a book on electrical wiring, and find out how many outlets can run on one breaker... and then I need to get some basic electrical tools, like voltage checkers and pliers and those gloves that keep you from getting shocked....

Any project which requires an outlay of money has to go on the back burner for now, which means everything stays where it is. *I hear a voice saying, "patience, grasshoppah, patience"*

[christie]

Dusa, many many congratulations on your progress!!! That is a huge accomplishment!

Have you noticed that whenever a room becomes a catch-all it's like everything freezes in place, energetically, and no matter what you do, you can't seem to get started on cleaning it up? For me, I look at rooms like that and I'm baffled--where the hell do I START?!--and I end up closing the door and walking away, utterly defeated before I begin. If your office was like that then double congrats are in order!!

Christie, it's the power main that scares me, the breaker box. What we need isn't outlets run from one existing place to a better place; we need brand new wiring brought from the breaker box to brand new outlets, so that we have enough. Probably that means we need a new box with more breakers.

Or maybe it means I have to go find a book on electrical wiring, and find out how many outlets can run on one breaker... and then I need to get some basic electrical tools, like voltage checkers and pliers and those gloves that keep you from getting shocked....

Any project which requires an outlay of money has to go on the back burner for now, which means everything stays where it is. *I hear a voice saying, "patience, grasshoppah, patience"*

It could mean your house would be like ours - with the exception of some 110V outlets for A/C units - seems that a good majority runs off one breaker. I can't tell you how many times we heard Jess's mother say (schreech) "It runs off the family room!" when we were changing out ceiling fixtures.

[Chancie]

I feel obligated to remind the do-it-yourself-ers that your insurance company may have an opinion about who does your electrical wiring.

Please forgive my natural inclination to worry about fire and other dangerous elements.

[Venus007]

I can NOT believe the amount of shit that was STILL in the office after me moving to California, us moving FROM California, and at least 4 huge purges during all of that. I thought I had pared down to the basics, only the things that I needed before our last move since space was at such a premium on the moving truck.

I think it breeds, honestly. I moved from Michigan to Texas 2 years ago and I got rid of A LOT of crap (it really was a shocking quantity of just junk and stuff and things and magazines and paper etc, crap) Somehow it seems like it has bred again and I have an embarrassing pile of junk in my guest bedroom. I went through recently and threw a bunch of stuff out but yah know what, there are still tons of boxes and I have no idea where to put them. Houses in Gulf Coast Texas don't have basements and my attic is unusable. Thank you for posting your incremental success, it gives me inspiration to keep on keeping on and winnowing the mess down ruthlessly yet again

[Bit]

I feel obligated to remind the do-it-yourself-ers that your insurance company may have an opinion about who does your electrical wiring.

Please forgive my natural inclination to worry about fire and other dangerous elements.


Natural inclination appreciated. Fire danger is the main reason I believe I need new outlets run off new breakers.... and I just don't feel comfortable doing that myself.

I think I'm a little luckier than Christie and Jess, though; I think I do have several breakers in use rather than just one.

[Waldo]

Here's an idea for all you clutter bugs: http://ydnar.com/2010/07/less-365.html

365 Less. The basic premise is that this person is getting rid of one thing a day for 365 days. Anything non-perishible with the exception of books or music. Check it out.

[Nat]

I apologize if this has been brought up -

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collyer_brothers?wasRedirected=true#section_1

Collyer brothers who died of their hoarding

[Nat]

Ps. I have hoarder tendencies.

[Nat]

I've been listening to some podcasts about hoarding since I first stared watching the a&e show. I had always blamed my messiness on my ADHD but I know other ADHD people who have no problem getting rid of things.

This one podcast mentioned most hoarders have experienced trauma, that most of us would probably be read as eccentric and that most of us lack executive function - in common with many ADHD folks. (executive function being the abilities to prioritize, categorize and to initiate action). I would also add my own experience is that I can very easily visually tune out and not even notice stuff.

So I am wondering - does this profile tend to fit any of the other people who are or who know a hoarder? Also for any hoarders you know or are - is there another family member with these tendencies?

Thankfully I have made several moves and purges in my life and I have managed to stem the flow of new stuff into my home so right now my home is mostly okay. But the garage is so full you can't easily navigate it - and I have to go through and get rid of that stuff before next summer.

[Bit]

This one podcast mentioned most hoarders have experienced trauma, that most of us would probably be read as eccentric and that most of us lack executive function - in common with many ADHD folks. (executive function being the abilities to prioritize, categorize and to initiate action). I would also add my own experience is that I can very easily visually tune out and not even notice stuff.

So I am wondering - does this profile tend to fit any of the other people who are or who know a hoarder? Also for any hoarders you know or are - is there another family member with these tendencies?

Hmmm. Nat, my sister (who is a hoarder) has a heck of a time prioritizing; everything is equally important to her and quite often the most important thing in the world is the ringing phone--no matter WHAT else is going on. That's completely at odds with her stated values that her kids and family are her top priorities, and has often caused her problems at work as well. I don't know if the other things apply, but she's infamous everywhere for not prioritizing.

Family members... Whenever I get overwhelmed, I can no longer initiate action. It isn't that I don't know things need done.. it's that I don't know where to start. Sometimes I can make myself start anywhere, just do one thing... and sometimes it seems like there's nothing that can be done at all. I didn't used to be like this and I suspect it's as much from pain and fatigue as from anything else... but it could be from behaviors that run in the family, who knows? I've noticed that some things which are not problems in a person's younger years can become a problem later in life, especially mental health issues, so who knows if that might be happening to me?

I figure I'm safe as long as I can still throw stuff away. *wry smile*

Obtaining a piece of storage furniture--any piece, no matter how small--gets me all jazzed and ready to take on the world... or, yanno, at least one pile of clutter. Having someplace to put things is a huge motivator for me and if the furniture is big enough it can often cut through the logjam of "where do I start?!"

BUT if it doesn't work properly, it just becomes another piece of clutter in its own right. That happened with the plastic storage file boxes I bought to substitute for a file cabinet until we can afford one. I meant for my storage box to be the current bills/important papers file, but I ended up taking the bills back out because it was too inconvenient and now the doggoned thing is a footstool... a footstool that stores important papers like the title to the house, yes, but dang! I wanted a file cabinet, not another footstool, lol....

[sierragirrl]

sorry if this has been brought up before i have not gone and read the earlier posts..
i tell my shrink just because i look like i keep myself up on the outside (hair, nails,clothes.) does not mean im kept up on the inside..same as my house its neat on the outside but a mess on the inside..
for me its the depression.
i have to wrap my head around cleanin up my house..
i have been readying myself for about a month now..
the next step is i am going to get a dumpster dropped off and instead of going thru it (thats one on my excusses) i will just dump it all.

i have been battling depression for MANY many yrs..we are trying to get it under control..somedays are better then others.

peace,
sierra

[Gemme]

Ps. I have hoarder tendencies.

As do I.

This move has shown me, in gritty black and white, exactly where I stand on the scale of things. I knew I had a lot. So, I had a yard sale. And then another. And then I made 5-6 trips to various charities/thrift shops in the area with yet more stuff. And I've spent, to date, $500 to ship my stuff to Texas. Stuff that I honestly can say, at this moment, I can do without.

And I'm not done. :blink:

That's too much. I should have been able to send 10-15 boxes out, pack the car and go. After all, I'm only one person. But I can't. I have a hard time letting go of things. I'm a collector and what I call a sentimentalist. I keep letters and gifts from friends and lovers, tons o' crafty stuff, teddy bears, etc....more than anything. And letting go of them, coupled with the feeling of loss of control in my life right now, is very difficult. Even though I know I don't "need" of it in my head, the rest of my body (namely the arms that keep packing this stuff) doesn't listen.

*sigh*

[Liam]

For those who benefit from self-help books, I'd like to introduce you to Sarah Susanka's book, the not so big life, Sarah is the architect, who had the series of not so big house books. the not so big life, is not a book which addresses hoarding per se, but expands her philosophy, on inhabiting space, to how to better inhabit our lives. The exercises are extremely simple, and I have benefited from them. Less is truly more.

[Nat]

The very best time I had with keeping my space uncluttered involved having a small apartment and a housekeeping crew that came by once a week. (those were the days - sadly I couldn't stand the job that paid well enough for me to have this).

The reason it worked so well is that I hired the service as soon as I moved in and before things had a chance to get bad. The house cleaning crew came on garbage day so I designated the night before they came as "maid eve." on maid eve, I would wash the dishes, bag up all dirty clothes and put them in the car, pick up all the trash and take it out to the curb and do any other straightening that needed to be done. The next day, I dropped my clothes at the wash and fold before work. When I got home that evening my little apartment was so pleasant and clean. What drive me was an interest in making the cleaning crew's job as easy as possible and also just looking at my home through the way I imagined they saw it.

Eventually I tried going to a biweekly service and that didn't last long. In two weeks, things get too out of hand, it seems.

I don't have the option at the moment for similar luxuries, but I have found one thing that works and also a possibly helpful iPhone app.

This weekend I set my laptop in the kitchen and watched hoarders while I was washing dishes. When I finished washing dishes, I just stayed in there and kept cleaning. I got a lot done, and I really do think it helped me make decisions about stuff because of the show.

The iPhone app is called homeroutine and it isn't free. I am not yet recommending it, but once I have become more familiar with it, I will report back. What I like is that it separates your house into zones, and it gives you one zone at a time. It has chores already listed for each zone but the list is editable. When you are done, you can switch zones. It also has weekly recurring tasks and daily recurring tasks. I am hoping it will help me better self-manage because I really don't *see* what needs to be done.

[Medusa]

I took 5 boxes of stuff the the Femme Clothing Swap at the Reunion. I had all these boxes packed up already when June arrived a few days before the event. We were kinda hanging out and before I knew it, I was purging even more stuff from my closet.

It helped A LOT to have a girlfriend there when I was holding up a dress that had never been worn and saying "I realllly love this dress" for her to say "what's the reason you've never worn it?"

Having to answer that question seems uncomplicated but its the "having to answer" part that makes you think. The "why".

It helped when I held up an Asian-inspired blue satin number for Juney to say "Im not sure that color works on you". Why? Because I've had that dress for 5 years, have never worn it, and the color really DIDNT work on me but I kinda needed a tiny push in the right direction.

It also helped to pull a vintage-looking plaid belted housedress from my closet that I had bought a couple of years ago and turn around, holding it up to myself and say "I used to love this dress" and hear Juney SHRIEK in horror and say "OH MY GOD! That's the UGLIEST thing I've ever seen!!"
My reply, "You really think its ugly!!???"
Juney assured me that it, indeed, was hideous and that if I didnt believe her, I should take it to the clothing swap where it was sure to be ignored. It was hard to let go of but made a deal with Juney that if nobody took it at the clothing swap, that I would bring it back home.

I ended up pulling out 14 more dresses while Juney was here that day and several purses and saw all of them go to good homes at the Femme Clothing Swap- well, except that ugly plaid one. Someone held that dress up at the clothing swap and was exclaiming about how ugly it was and I think for the first time, I actually *saw* it in all of its blinding hideousness. It truly was a burlap sack with a tired-ass red and navy plaid print that would make even a picnic table sad.

I did not bring that plaid dress home with me that day. Instead, I boxed it all up and sent it off for donation to the Dorcas house (thanks Jules!) where it can be someone else's problem. :)

The moral of the story is that I learned a good lesson about my attachment to things that really needed a thorough second look. I feel much better for having cut all of that stuff loose. :)

[June]

http://www.hookedonvintage.com/shop/images/HOVOct162009_178.jpg

I tried and failed to find a "dress" that would truly represent the "Ugly". This doesn't even come close.

And those of you who know and have seen Medusa in pictures or in person, know that she has really great taste in clothing.

But that dress. Forty Femmes shuddered at the site of it.

I think sometimes we get hooked on a concept of something. We get it in our head that we will use/wear/alter something and then we hold on to it because to let it go might mean we failed somehow.

"I could wrap this coffee can in pretty paper and use it to store pens"
"This fabric cost me $47.00 15 years ago, I can't part with it"
"I might wear these shoes someday with a blue dress (that you don't have)"
"I'll sell this on E-bay"

Somewhere in Little Rock, an 80 year old granny is happily tooling around her garden in that dress, which is where it belongs.

[PearlsNLace]

I suspect that in the last 3 days I have donated more shoes than the adverage person even owns. I suspect I may have still left more shoes than a lot of people own. I thought a lot about each pair that stayed, and kept with care. IF they get little to no wear in the next year and a day, they will go.

I have given up over 30 pairs of shoes.
Flip flops, high heels, boots, tennis shoes, slippers, sandals and mock crocks.

I still have about 15 pairs.
2 pairs of boots, one white, one brown.
1 pair of nursing shoes
1 pair of sneakers for the gym
1 pair of vibrams
3 pairs of black shoes- 2 High heels, low casuals, and sandels
1 pair of slippers
1 flip flops
1 pair of sparklyhigh heeled sandles
1 pair of aqua shoes
2 shoes dedicated to snow because I hate snow and need all the help surviving it I can get.

[katsarecool]

This is an interesting thread; read the whole thing. I have not see this show nor do I want to. I saw the show about Hoarders last year on Oprah and it made me angry! They blamed it solely on the wife while the goofy husband stood around looking like the victim. It made me sick too. And it made me mad that the entire family let it go on for so long. The kids stayed away for years, they knew and did nothing. Those people are trying to fill up a void.

I also though this family should have donated it all to charity. And instead of accepting a do over of their entire home including furniture and applicances they should have asked it be done for some family who has little to nothing. Just my two cents.

I had a tendency to collect stuff but when I moved back to Ga three years ago that cured me of that. Living a lot leaner and cleaner now except for shoes. LOL

[PearlsNLace]

Giving stuff to charity rather helps. In fact, its easier on my heart to give it free to someone, completly, than donate it to be sold. I do a a bit of both. Because I believe in the jobs I have seen goodwill create.
I do not donate to Salvation Army, I am against some of the way they utilize their resources, and do not support missionary work. Needed resources in exchange to listening to any religious views seems like a bad deal to me.
But I have been craigslisting stuff and goodwilling stuff. So far its been about a box a day of stuff. Furniture is going next. Tomorrow I send craft supplies to a friend, and dolls to a cousin. And breathing.
I have to keep reminding myself I am happy, and this stuff is NOT the cause of that happiness. This stuff is NOT security.

And thats the hard part. I dont know why, but somehow I have gotten my wires crossed on that point. Its one of those scary common threads with the people on the show. NO, no, I am not like they are. However, i have stuff I do not need.

I am 36 years old. I have been a parent. I have been a homeowner in a house twice the size I am in now. I have also come home to a house devoid of furniture after a break up. And found a sort of reclaiming rejuvenization with each bit of furniture i began to aquire as a single woman. And stuff, well thanks to second hand shops and yard sales and craigslist, stuff sure can be easy to aquire for little to no money.

Giving up stuff is not easy. Nick and I are both facing our issues around stuff. And the letting go of stuff. Its NOT easy. If you dont get it, that is ok. I have been the kind of person who can move with everything I own in an army duffel, and would never imagined Id get so encumbered with both emotional and physical baggage. Yet here I am. Learning how to lighten up my load as well as my perspective. I believe I am a reasonably healthy person doing this. I cannot imagine how someone who has become so ill that this is a part of thier symptomology faces this.

Hard things to overcome-
the idea I might be able to USE x,y,z. Or I might need it.
XYZ has emotional value...
XYZ has cultural value.
XYZ helps me feel safe, happy, comfortable.

Thanks for being a part of this journey.

[cara]

This is an interesting thread; read the whole thing. I have not see this show nor do I want to. I saw the show about Hoarders last year on Oprah and it made me angry! They blamed it solely on the wife while the goofy husband stood around looking like the victim. It made me sick too. And it made me mad that the entire family let it go on for so long. The kids stayed away for years, they knew and did nothing. Those people are trying to fill up a void.

I also though this family should have donated it all to charity. And instead of accepting a do over of their entire home including furniture and applicances they should have asked it be done for some family who has little to nothing. Just my two cents.

I had a tendency to collect stuff but when I moved back to Ga three years ago that cured me of that. Living a lot leaner and cleaner now except for shoes. LOL

I'd like to take a moment to address something you said that struck a chord in me. You said: "And it made me mad that the entire family let it go on so long. The kids stayed away for years, they knew and did nothing..."

I am a family member dealing with an Uncle who is a hoarder and living with my Grammy. He has been hoarding for years and my family has been trying to help them for years. It's easy to place judgement on the family, but here's the thing: You can clean up a place and make it look pretty again, but it's not going to change the behaviors and patterns of the hoarder. They will continue to hoard because it's a psychological issue. And their adults. And they have to want to seek help or take the help being offered. Then agree to it. Then take the steps to get better. Then continue to work on things because it's never going to be a non-issue.

Then there's the fact that every person involved in our family has a different thought or feeling about what's going on. We have our own personal baggage around life and growing up and family and who knows what else. It's not easy seeing the people I love stuck in a situation I am not able to help with.

There are no cut and dry answers and seeing the family being blamed for something that is almost entirely out of their control doesn't seem quite fair to me.

My 2 cents for what they're worth.

:stillheart:

cara

[katsarecool]

I'd like to take a moment to address something you said that struck a chord in me. You said: "And it made me mad that the entire family let it go on so long. The kids stayed away for years, they knew and did nothing..."

I am a family member dealing with an Uncle who is a hoarder and living with my Grammy. He has been hoarding for years and my family has been trying to help them for years. It's easy to place judgement on the family, but here's the thing: You can clean up a place and make it look pretty again, but it's not going to change the behaviors and patterns of the hoarder. They will continue to hoard because it's a psychological issue. And their adults. And they have to want to seek help or take the help being offered. Then agree to it. Then take the steps to get better. Then continue to work on things because it's never going to be a non-issue.

Then there's the fact that every person involved in our family has a different thought or feeling about what's going on. We have our own personal baggage around life and growing up and family and who knows what else. It's not easy seeing the people I love stuck in a situation I am not able to help with.

There are no cut and dry answers and seeing the family being blamed for something that is almost entirely out of their control doesn't seem quite fair to me.

My 2 cents for what they're worth.

:stillheart:

cara

Cara, I get what you are saying. Truly. As I watched the show, I listened to the children (all grown with families of their own) berate their mother, showed displays of shock and disgust, lots of hypercritical remarks that showed a disconnect from their parents and a judgement as well. But as the show progressed it became clear that they had been aware and chose to simply stay away from their parents home completely. And of course put the blame squarely on the shoulders of their mother.

The hoarding of their parents was obviously a mental illness and they lived in a situation that was completely unhealthy. They chose to look away for the longest time.

Sometimes we should stick our necks out when a family member is hurting and living under such conditions. And grown children are often too quick to point judging fingers at their parents. I feel they could have jumped in there and help their parents get that house in order way before it got so bad and try to get their parents to seek some professional help.

[Gemme]

Cara, I get what you are saying. Truly. As I watched the show, I listened to the children (all grown with families of their own) berate their mother, showed displays of shock and disgust, lots of hypercritical remarks that showed a disconnect from their parents and a judgement as well. But as the show progressed it became clear that they had been aware and chose to simply stay away from their parents home completely. And of course put the blame squarely on the shoulders of their mother.

The hoarding of their parents was obviously a mental illness and they lived in a situation that was completely unhealthy. They chose to look away for the longest time.

Sometimes we should stick our necks out when a family member is hurting and living under such conditions. And grown children are often too quick to point judging fingers at their parents. I feel they could have jumped in there and help their parents get that house in order way before it got so bad and try to get their parents to seek some professional help.

I think Cara is saying that a lot of kids do do that, but until the hoarder...whether it's the mother or father or both...WANT to change, cleaning up the house won't last long. They'll just begin to accrue more things and the house will be in the same condition in no time.

For myself...IF blame is to be pointed, it should be at the hoarder, not those who have been forced to cohabitate with the hoarder.

[PearlsNLace]

I think its also vital to understand that the problem doesn’t go away when the stuff goes.

And stuff returns. A painful example of this is the one year Hoarder review show that is talked about earlier in this thread.

You can "make it all better" by cleaning out the stuff. And families DO.
They come, they sweat, they face the yelling, the tears, the accusations of stealing it, the recriminations that the stuff will be there when the family WILL NOT. And they clean house.
Without the counseling, the continued support, the hoarders own willingness to self examine and work on getting their needs met not inclusive of collecting…

in 6 weeks.. (that is the shortest time I have personally seen)
In 6months… (typical)
In on year certainly….

The situation is WORSE. And the hoarder is more guarded, even more defensive, maybe even more fragile, breaking down mentally to the point of needing inpatient support.

There are reasons families are angry. They do not understand why this is happening. It’s hard to explain how rational preparedness or a rational small collection of keepsakes can unravel to this debilitating psychological process.
In FACT, a common thread of hoarders IS a high level of intelligence. This is more frustrating because it would seem you can intellectually reason with the hoarder, but they can rationalize the keeping of bad food, of broken things. Intelligence can NOT safeguard against mental illness. In fact I think it can even be a barrier to getting better. If a person is USED to having to explain things that others can’t wrap their minds around, that genius when unhealthy is now used to prevent insight from happening.

[PearlsNLace]

UGH.

Ive been at this for days now.

I had this goal that now is beginning to seem obsene. to reduce our stuff by 2/3 of what we own.
Lemme explain-
by my estimation, we posess about 1/3 more stuff than this house can hold and not look cluttered. (NO< Im not talking hoarders here, but we DO have have enough books to keep a book worm happy for a few years. Then there is the craft/clothes&shoes/tools/magic/nicknacks/useless furniture stuff.)

And we need a roomate so that we can afford to live in this house.

We apartment shopped. And what I learned is that even living in a studio will only save nick and I 125-150 a piece a month for no yard for dogs, no washer/dryer, and a LOT LESS SPACE.

So we need to get this place ready for a subletter. Its only a 2bd/1ba house. So that is where I came up with the getting rid of 2/3rds stuff.

Im exhausted.
Im a crafter and a bookworm. Im a pagan. I almost puked at the idea of dismanteling my altar. I cried at getting rid of my paints. I left the 2nd bedroom with no ability to return for hours each time I get CLOSE to attacking the small fabric collection I have with the intent to cull. I just feel like Im going to become the dead cat couple on that show if I cant handle this project. UGH.

I am learning I can reduce things. I am NOT at the point where I can just get rid of things entirely.

2nd hand furniture, no problem. broken things? mostly easy. But books? oooo there is the first hurdle. I realized there are things I own I do not need but there are things I LOVE, have invested in, and am really struggling with downsizing. Im doing ok-ish with a criteria, and keeping within that criteria- here it is 1) will I just buy it again in a year, because I love it like an old friend? 2) Do I intend on reading it this year? 3) Is it a book necessary for growh ie school, recovery, spirituality...the last I have to be very careful about cause its easy to justify LOTS under that category.


And you know what? I like to decorate for the holidays. Its the 1950s holly hobby home maker conditioning I guess but instead of getting rid of any of my Samhain/halloween stuff, I just .... I wont. I will not say I cant cause well, of course Im physically able to. But no. damnt Im decorating this house today. Im sick of clearing and giving stuff a way.

I think this act of defiance may mean Im having a small relapse and on my way of truly becoming a hoarder. If I get ANY kudos at all its cause Im still pitching any broken or misc. decorations.

At this rate I have no idea how we are going to convince anyone to live with us, and pay money to do so. Except that we are not asking a lot in rent for the area. UGH. And do we really want to live with someone who only wants this place because they are desperate?


After all these posts I make here, I can only imagine what you all think my house must look like. *cringe

[Apocalipstic]

UGH.

Ive been at this for days now.

I had this goal that now is beginning to seem obsene. to reduce our stuff by 2/3 of what we own.
Lemme explain-
by my estimation, we posess about 1/3 more stuff than this house can hold and not look cluttered. (NO< Im not talking hoarders here, but we DO have have enough books to keep a book worm happy for a few years. Then there is the craft/clothes&shoes/tools/magic/nicknacks/useless furniture stuff.)

And we need a roomate so that we can afford to live in this house.

We apartment shopped. And what I learned is that even living in a studio will only save nick and I 125-150 a piece a month for no yard for dogs, no washer/dryer, and a LOT LESS SPACE.

So we need to get this place ready for a subletter. Its only a 2bd/1ba house. So that is where I came up with the getting rid of 2/3rds stuff.

Im exhausted.
Im a crafter and a bookworm. Im a pagan. I almost puked at the idea of dismanteling my altar. I cried at getting rid of my paints. I left the 2nd bedroom with no ability to return for hours each time I get CLOSE to attacking the small fabric collection I have with the intent to cull. I just feel like Im going to become the dead cat couple on that show if I cant handle this project. UGH.

I am learning I can reduce things. I am NOT at the point where I can just get rid of things entirely.

2nd hand furniture, no problem. broken things? mostly easy. But books? oooo there is the first hurdle. I realized there are things I own I do not need but there are things I LOVE, have invested in, and am really struggling with downsizing. Im doing ok-ish with a criteria, and keeping within that criteria- here it is 1) will I just buy it again in a year, because I love it like an old friend? 2) Do I intend on reading it this year? 3) Is it a book necessary for growh ie school, recovery, spirituality...the last I have to be very careful about cause its easy to justify LOTS under that category.


And you know what? I like to decorate for the holidays. Its the 1950s holly hobby home maker conditioning I guess but instead of getting rid of any of my Samhain/halloween stuff, I just .... I wont. I will not say I cant cause well, of course Im physically able to. But no. damnt Im decorating this house today. Im sick of clearing and giving stuff a way.

I think this act of defiance may mean Im having a small relapse and on my way of truly becoming a hoarder. If I get ANY kudos at all its cause Im still pitching any broken or misc. decorations.

At this rate I have no idea how we are going to convince anyone to live with us, and pay money to do so. Except that we are not asking a lot in rent for the area. UGH. And do we really want to live with someone who only wants this place because they are desperate?


After all these posts I make here, I can only imagine what you all think my house must look like. *cringe

As long as it smells good and there are not paths to get around, I tell myself its OK! :)

We have tons of books too. :)

Had a yard sale last weekend, sold a bunch of stuff and somehow the house now seems MORE crowded. How is this possible? Is the stuff spawning?

I really did not have much stuff until Cynthia, now I own a ton of crap. I used to be a gypsy, travel light, but no more. SIGH. In all fairness, its not just Cynthia. My father died and he had all his stuff and my Mom's stuff and grandmother's stuff. We have like 6 sets of china now. I keep giving stuff away and more stuff keeps appearing.

OK, and well....I've bought stuff too. Now that I am settled. We had to have a new sofa, even thought we had 2 others, a dining room table, new washer and dryer...etc etc....and books books books.

Boooooks.

[Apocalipstic]

and clothes

lot's and lots of clothes

in every size imaginable

shoes I don't wear, but have to have to look at

books

accessories

handbags

makeup....Sephora sends me evil updates....it's not my fault.

we made an entire bedroom into a closet? it's packed. p.a.c.k.e.d.

[Apocalipstic]

OMG and kitchen stuff

Cookbooks

Silver trays

Gotta keep it all...right?

How is there so much more stuff in the house than before the damn yard sale?

Trunks

Clutter

[Apocalipstic]

This is a hoarding meltdown isn't it?

[Tommi]

Here's an idea for all you clutter bugs: http://ydnar.com/2010/07/less-365.html

365 Less. The basic premise is that this person is getting rid of one thing a day for 365 days. Anything non-perishible with the exception of books or music. Check it out.

Thanks Waldo. I have been watching the Hoarders Show on TV, and realized alot about myself, my habits, and desires. My Mom was not a great housekeeper, and my Dad was banished to his warehouse with his mess, so i didn;t have to deal with him. I can recall my Gramma telling me she was coming to my room with a shovel!!!

So, my house is good, and I manage to have MegaMaids in ever month or more to do the floors, furniture, windows, and stuff. Now, my 2 car garage, does not have room for one car yet. I am determined to have it cleaned out and ready as my art studio and billiard/play room by next April . (my tax refund is going to be used to organize it, and install floor to ceiling cabinets.) So, I need to do 2 things a day (or 14 things a weekend) me thinks.:hangloose: Good thread.:hangloose:

[Apocalipstic]

Thanks Waldo. I have been watching the Hoarders Show on TV, and realized alot about myself, my habits, and desires. My Mom was not a great housekeeper, and my Dad was banished to his warehouse with his mess, so i didn;t have to deal with him. I can recall my Gramma telling me she was coming to my room with a shovel!!!

So, my house is good, and I manage to have MegaMaids in ever month or more to do the floors, furniture, windows, and stuff. Now, my 2 car garage, does not have room for one car yet. I am determined to have it cleaned out and ready as my art studio and billiard/play room by next April . (my tax refund is going to be used to organize it, and install floor to ceiling cabinets.) So, I need to do 2 things a day (or 14 things a weekend) me thinks.:hangloose: Good thread.:hangloose:


I think the key for me does tend to be having organizational options. Right now, I need book cases everywhere!

[Gemme]

UGH.

Ive been at this for days now.

I had this goal that now is beginning to seem obsene. to reduce our stuff by 2/3 of what we own.
Lemme explain-
by my estimation, we posess about 1/3 more stuff than this house can hold and not look cluttered. (NO< Im not talking hoarders here, but we DO have have enough books to keep a book worm happy for a few years. Then there is the craft/clothes&shoes/tools/magic/nicknacks/useless furniture stuff.)

And we need a roomate so that we can afford to live in this house.

We apartment shopped. And what I learned is that even living in a studio will only save nick and I 125-150 a piece a month for no yard for dogs, no washer/dryer, and a LOT LESS SPACE.

So we need to get this place ready for a subletter. Its only a 2bd/1ba house. So that is where I came up with the getting rid of 2/3rds stuff.

Im exhausted.
Im a crafter and a bookworm. Im a pagan. I almost puked at the idea of dismanteling my altar. I cried at getting rid of my paints. I left the 2nd bedroom with no ability to return for hours each time I get CLOSE to attacking the small fabric collection I have with the intent to cull. I just feel like Im going to become the dead cat couple on that show if I cant handle this project. UGH.

I am learning I can reduce things. I am NOT at the point where I can just get rid of things entirely.

2nd hand furniture, no problem. broken things? mostly easy. But books? oooo there is the first hurdle. I realized there are things I own I do not need but there are things I LOVE, have invested in, and am really struggling with downsizing. Im doing ok-ish with a criteria, and keeping within that criteria- here it is 1) will I just buy it again in a year, because I love it like an old friend? 2) Do I intend on reading it this year? 3) Is it a book necessary for growh ie school, recovery, spirituality...the last I have to be very careful about cause its easy to justify LOTS under that category.


And you know what? I like to decorate for the holidays. Its the 1950s holly hobby home maker conditioning I guess but instead of getting rid of any of my Samhain/halloween stuff, I just .... I wont. I will not say I cant cause well, of course Im physically able to. But no. damnt Im decorating this house today. Im sick of clearing and giving stuff a way.

I think this act of defiance may mean Im having a small relapse and on my way of truly becoming a hoarder. If I get ANY kudos at all its cause Im still pitching any broken or misc. decorations.

At this rate I have no idea how we are going to convince anyone to live with us, and pay money to do so. Except that we are not asking a lot in rent for the area. UGH. And do we really want to live with someone who only wants this place because they are desperate?


After all these posts I make here, I can only imagine what you all think my house must look like. *cringe

I had a HUGE post and I deleted it by accident and Ctrl + Z didn't bring it back. *cry*

So, here's the Cliff Notes version:

1: No one sees the house like you do. You're there every day. You see the cracks and kinks and things that need to be done. Your friends and guests don't see that. They see YOU. A frazzled and worried you, but you nonetheless.

2: The fact that you are concerned about hoarding tells me that you are most likely NOT one. Most of those I've met or seen tend to deny there's a problem, even when you have to put on snow shoes to get from room to room. :|

3: I have a LOT of stuff. Though I've moved cross country twice in the past 5 years and have had multiple yard sales and made huge donations, I still have a LOT. Organic does not. Much like his s/name, he is very organic at heart and has mostly only what he needs. He's not a collector of things like I am. We are currently in a studio (apparently, the Reunion brochure didn't mention that he might come home with a femme and thus, should make arrangements for that *grin*), so we are cramped.

Look at your home and imagine what you'd have to do to live in a 300 square foot home. Just take a moment. If that came to pass, you'd find a way to pare down. And, if you give yourself a bit of time to work through your things, you'll find a way to rehome some things and keep what really makes your heart happy.

It feels to me like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to do it all NOW and that's just too overwhelming. Breathe. Give yourself a schedule. Do this room in this time frame, then another. If it hurts too much to think of things in black or white (keep or not), then make a maybe section. Still try to pare your things down, but if you are really stumped with a few items, then put them aside and sit down and plead your case to your honey as to why you should keep them. Sometimes, we all need an objective ear that isn't emotionally connected to our things. He might see things that you don't or help you in determining what should go.

4: No matter what, relax. It sounds like you're making headway and that's a good thing. Take a second and appreciate what you've done already. Look at how far you've come. You can do whatever you choose to do.

This is a hoarding meltdown isn't it?

Just the realization that you have a lot of stuff.

Been there, did that.

Oh, as for the amount of stuff, don't forget that in order to do the yard sale, you had to go through stuff. I'm sure not all of it got packed away again like it was. It's less; it's just more spread out now. :)

[Tommi]

I think the key for me does tend to be having organizational options. Right now, I need book cases everywhere!

I actually started organizing about a year ago. My bookcases are now all organized by subject/similar books and sizes, along with the DVD's and CD's.

I managed to get rid of most of my favorite magazines; I had saved, was going to read, then thought well, I'll just tear out what I want. hell no. I saw that would create a mess I did not want.

I trash/and or/shred the mail upon arrival if it is not something I need to keep. Reducing paper to handling only once helps tremendously.
Tomorrow the last of my magazines will go to a good home, and I will feel better about dumping them.

[Dude]

I fell like starting an "All's I need is my_____ and my _______ and my____________and my_______ and my_______" thread.

Garage sale tomorrow and I may be starting to :twitch: slightly.

[Tommi]

I fell like starting an "All's I need is my_____ and my _______ and my____________and my_______ and my_______" thread.

Garage sale tomorrow and I may be starting to :twitch: slightly

http://www.womenscabinet.org/Images/garage-sale.gif

[Medusa]

I fell like starting an "All's I need is my_____ and my _______ and my____________and my_______ and my_______" thread.

Garage sale tomorrow and I may be starting to :twitch: slightly.


Start that thread!!!

[Apocalipstic]

I actually started organizing about a year ago. My bookcases are now all organized by subject/similar books and sizes, along with the DVD's and CD's.

I managed to get rid of most of my favorite magazines; I had saved, was going to read, then thought well, I'll just tear out what I want. hell no. I saw that would create a mess I did not want.

I trash/and or/shred the mail upon arrival if it is not something I need to keep. Reducing paper to handling only once helps tremendously.
Tomorrow the last of my magazines will go to a good home, and I will feel better about dumping them.

Very cool!

What did you decide to do with magazines? I have great ones and would love for someone to have them, but not sure how to go about that.

I need to adopt the handling paper less thing too.

Thank you for the tips! :)

[Apocalipstic]

I fell like starting an "All's I need is my_____ and my _______ and my____________and my_______ and my_______" thread.

Garage sale tomorrow and I may be starting to :twitch: slightly.


Oh My, sending great sale and peaceful day vibes your way!

[Tommi]

Very cool!

What did you decide to do with magazines? I have great ones and would love for someone to have them, but not sure how to go about that.

I need to adopt the handling paper less thing too.

Thank you for the tips! :)

I am going to visit my friend who ended up in an acute care nursing facility. They absolutely love magazines, any and all kinds. They use them in their craft room after they get too tattered.

The shredder is on auto, and plugged in beside the recycle container in the kitchen. LOVE IT.

[katsarecool]

Speaking of shredding and what to do with the shredded mess. I take that mess and line the bottom of huge pots about four inches thick, then pour in potting soil and then add plants, herbs and small trees. I have to do it every year as the paper rots. I dare someone to try and steal my identity with that muddy mess in the bottom of the pot!

[Bit]

Im exhausted.
Im a crafter and a bookworm. Im a pagan. I almost puked at the idea of dismanteling my altar. I cried at getting rid of my paints. I left the 2nd bedroom with no ability to return for hours each time I get CLOSE to attacking the small fabric collection I have with the intent to cull. I just feel like Im going to become the dead cat couple on that show if I cant handle this project. UGH.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Pearls}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Honey, you're trying to force yourself to do something which is clearly wrong for you. You're not a hoarder, but you ARE currently obsessed with getting rid of the things which obviously hold incredible meaning for you, just for the sake of getting rid of them, and you seem to be driven by an unrealistic self-assessment that is based on fear and guilt.

What does your sponsor say about this kind of behavior?

WHY is your only alternative to get rid of your possessions? Why is finding a larger space not part of your alternatives? Why not find a three bedroom, two bathroom house at the same time that you find a roommate, and all move in at the same time?

Speaking as a person who has lost books which can never be replaced, who has floundered without her artwork, her music, her altar, her art and craft supplies (her paints! her crochet magazines!), who has had to spend hundreds upon thousands of dollars replacing things which have been lost in divorces and floods, I say to you, ENOUGH. There are always alternatives to ripping your soul apart and throwing away the pieces. Maybe you just don't have the right furniture--maybe you need more storage furniture. Maybe you need a teensy garden shed (Rubbermaid makes an adorable one). Maybe you need bed risers with tubs to go under the bed.

Old component stereo cabinets make incredible storage furniture for craft supplies, btw, especially for paper or fabric. The clear glass doors are a great bonus, and you can stack a short bookshelf on top to hold even more supplies--or your craft magazines. Entertainment centers, armoires, utility cabinets--almost anything can be re-used and re-purposed to contain your beloved belongings! And they still make wire shelves that go on the backs of doors to hold canned goods or other supplies.

There's just got to be some alternative to violating your own soul. I wish I could be there to help you the way you helped me... you saw possibilities I didn't, and it was because you didn't live here and had no preconceived notions about where things belonged. If you don't have a local friend who can lend you their eye, maybe a professional organizer could help you out the same way?

{{{{{{{{{{Pearls}}}}}}}}}}}} As long as you're facing the right direction, you have only to keep walking and you will reach your goal; but if you are facing the wrong direction, you will trip over every obstacle imaginable.

I hope I don't sound harsh; I don't mean to be, at all. I'm frustrated and tired of feeling guilty, myself... and how I miss my stereo cabinet right now!

I think the key for me does tend to be having organizational options. Right now, I need book cases everywhere!
Why wait? I have to say, the bookcase we bought at the moving sale made a huge difference in our living room; it's almost as long as a couch! Gryph filled that thing with shelf after shelf of sci-fi paperbacks after we got it set up, and when we moved the couch to get the bookshelf where we wanted it, the living room suddenly became a room, rather than a storage dump! Finally, after all this time!! Now we have to finish filling that bookshelf, and refill the other bookshelves with other categories. The dining room shelf is going to get all my cookbooks, I think, and maybe even some of our altar supplies, since the top has become my little daily altar.

And as for books, well, I'm a re-reader. It gives me great pleasure to re-read novel series every couple years--and if I don't keep them, I *won't* find them again, as I've discovered to my sorrow; so many are already lost to me. Books have expiration dates; who knew?!

[AtLast]

Speaking of shredding and what to do with the shredded mess. I take that mess and line the bottom of huge pots about four inches thick, then pour in potting soil and then add plants, herbs and small trees. I have to do it every year as the paper rots. I dare someone to try and steal my identity with that muddy mess in the bottom of the pot!

I love this!!!

[katsarecool]

Taking a bow! My grandson came up with that one. He cares about the environment already!

[christie]

and clothes

lot's and lots of clothes

in every size imaginable

shoes I don't wear, but have to have to look at

books

accessories

handbags

makeup....Sephora sends me evil updates....it's not my fault.

we made an entire bedroom into a closet? it's packed. p.a.c.k.e.d.

Hi. My name is Christie and I have a "thing" about clothes. And shoes. Lovely, lovely shoes.

When I moved to VA, around four years ago, I gave over 300 pairs of shoes to my ex-brother-in-law to either yard sale or give to his drag buddies. I brought only about 7 pairs.

Today, I don't EVEN want (or try) to count now. When we started the house restoration, one of the things on my want list was a "shoe room". Bless Jess, Hy made sure I had one and there are my shoes, all nestled in the clear plastic boxes (easier to find the ones I want) on the shelves. Boots are in lidded bins.

The issue? My idea of culling them involved tossing three pairs. Three.

Hell, I bought three pairs over the last week.

I can't seem to bring myself to get rid of any of them. I still wear them, when I want to and their is nothing wrong with them. I don't see that likely to change and I'm not sure that I think it needs to - it doesn't bother me, but I am not sure that Jess would agree since Hy follows behind me picking them up, a queer version of Hansel & Gretel and the trail of shoes.

Clothes. Ugh. I know I have far too many and somehow manage to buy a couple of new outfits a month. Most times, its out of necessity - I've gotten to Richmond for my work week and need something to wear other than what I've brought. Part of the reason I have so many clothes is that I ABHOR trying things on. I pick it up, look at it and buy it.

I have to sort thru clothes this weekend and purge them. They are all over the sitting room off our bedroom - literally stacks of them. At the very least, I have to pack away summer clothes to make room for winter. I usually take all the dresser drawers and dump them on the bed, one at a time. Sort thru one, put everything that is a keeper back in and move on to the next one.

Fortunately, I don't have a thing about handbags. Well, I do, but I tend to buy a really great, well made (read: expensive) that is rather timeless and compliments everything. I've been carrying the same bag since last Christmas when I picked it up at Opry Mills in Nashville. It was pricey, but its a lovely red leather that I have received more compliments on than any other one before. I do have my eye on a Coach bag that will probably be my Christmas prezzie to myself, but I guarantee that I won't be giving up the red one.

The other "thing" I have about handbags - I love vintage "pocketbooks". I have many and on occasion will grab one and change my stuff over for a couple of days. It doesn't usually get used for very long, and I am right back into my "bag of the year."

I really think in the grand scheme of things that we need not be too hard on ourselves about our "stuff." I really find that when its time to let things go, we (I) do and I know that in the times I have forced myself to give up something, I usually am very resentful at some point. I think that it has to be my decision when/why/how to let it go because I wouldn't have it unless there is a reason.

I'm just glad that I don't have the pathology of some of these folks on Hoarders because I know they also feel they have a reason for all their stuff. I recently watched a mini-marathon of the show and even recorded a partial episode because I want to sit with Bratboy to watch it. He has some of the same tendencies as the young man featured and the impact it was having on the fella's personal life and dating. We have been working with Bratboy on better organizational skills (part of his Aspie/Neuro-Diverse/teenager issues) and I think it might help if he sees an actual person trying to deal with this issue.

I think we all need to be kind to ourselves. Change is never really easy and trying to force it, well, I'm not sure that its always successful.

Off to turn on some music and start sorting clothes! Happy Saturday!

Christie

[Tommi]

Speaking of shredding and what to do with the shredded mess. I take that mess and useline the bottom of huge pots about four inches thick, then pour in potting soil and then add plants, herbs and small trees. I have to do it every year as the paper rots. I dare someone to try and steal my identity with that muddy mess in the bottom of the pot!

Great idea katsarecool.
my combo is less tidy & green friendly, but effective.
When 1/2 full, empty shredder into small kitchen trash bag. Empty litter. into same. I have 2 cats...and dumping Clumping Kitty LitterED that blends well with paper then in trash.That stuff turns to mud when H2o hits it.

[PearlsNLace]

I got a storage unit today. 50 square feet to buy some time in the sorting, make room for a room mate, and have some sanity.

Apocalipstic, and Christie thank you for the way you have made me feel so very much connected and not alone with what you have posted.

Bit and Gemme, thank you. I have listened, and I am breathing.

Today I got a storage unit to buy a little time. We need a roomate, and we need one by the first. The storage unit will give me time to sort and breathe.
Also, it lets me have some time to figure out WHERE to put the books. Bit your right. Ive given away books I will never see again. I dont want to do that again, I really dont.

Today we interviewed a potential roomate, and she didnt run screaming. She described our house as warm, loving, comfortable and lived in. I ate her words like ice cream.

[Bit]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Misha}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Oh, how I love you, darlin! You ate her words like ice cream, lol!

Why am I not surprised that your home is warm, loving, and comfortable, just like you? You are okay, you know. In everything that matters, love, you are okay. Everything will work out.

I can tell you from experience that a 5x10 storage locker holds half a household's worth of stuff... and I can ALSO tell you from experience that you do NOT want to put the Yule decorations in first, because you will never see them again if you do.

Unless, of course, you are willing to completely unload the storage locker and then re-pack it. After the first two times, I never again had the heart to do that much work.

You might wish to leave a pathway all the way to the back that is wide enough to actually carry a box through without contorting your body.

LABEL your boxes. If you can put an inventory on the outside of each box, so much the better. Stack them so the inventories are readable. Make sure every box that has something breakable in it is labeled "Fragile" and stacked on top... that lesson still hurts, it was a box of heirloom crystal wine glasses and the box itself collapsed some under the weight of the other fragile boxes stacked on top, breaking the top layer of crystal. So much for keeping fragile things together in one stack; I never made that mistake again!

Tax forms and information, life insurance forms, dog license information, car registration, nothing like that belongs in a storage locker... don't ask; just trust me on this. :seeingstars:

Expect creepy-crawlies even in an indoor facility, and seal all the seams of your boxes with good tape.

Some craft supplies are perishable in a storage locker; paint is one of them, glue is another. Fabric is not--as long as you seal the seams of your boxes or tubs with good tape. Bugs are your worst enemy (as long as the roof is sound and the door doesn't let rain in).

Covering your boxes and furniture with a tarp will help keep everything cleaner. Storage lockers are incredibly dusty.

Don't believe the old adage about "if you haven't used it in a year you don't need it." You will be very glad to get your things back out of storage when it's time--very glad. Plan for permanent storage, and then work to get things brought home quickly, and however it works out will be okay.

[christie]

ALL clothes, fold or hang, have been sorted. Whew.

Gone is an entire contractor bag.

Most of it with a ,"What the hell?!?!?!?" as I tossed it in.

PnL - Bit gives some great advice on using a storage unit. I found that after having stuff in a storage unit for a while, it became much, much easier for me to get rid of it.

Good luck!!

[Bit]

PnL - Bit gives some great advice on using a storage unit. I found that after having stuff in a storage unit for a while, it became much, much easier for me to get rid of it.

How funny--it worked the opposite way for Gryph and for me, both; getting stuff back out of the storage unit was a big relief. I guess there's no telling which way it will work until a person tries it, eh?

Congrats on your organized clothes!!

[Tommi]

Okay. Need advice on Cups running over. I have one entire kitchen cabinet full of coffee cups. I could use the space for consumables. I can't part with them, it's dumb to store them, so, any suggestions.

I live alone. I use one cup at a time, and it's my Fav.. I don't use Babe Ruth, ET, Superman, Steelers, 49r's, Charger's, my favorite football Steins, all the Starbuck City Collectibles, and a cup from every where I have been, my friends and lover's have brought me. I love them, but don't need them. They fill 4 shelves. I need an intervention***:seeingstars:

Someone suggested I use them regularly, and when the chip or break toss them ,or use as pencil holders. But they are special*I have a pencil holder already.
I am allergic to storage places.
I had dozens of my oil paintings, paints and art supplies, frames, and color and b/w darkroom set-ups in Shurgard Storage. It was broken into and everything was stolen. I had put the stuff in there after my %$#@@#!* separation, and waited until I bought the house I am in now, to go get it. I paid on it, didn't visit for 2 years. It was empty, but locked, and not my lock. They cut it open for me. They said I must have left it unlocked. The managers were new, and well, said any video's would have been taped over, and I did not buy their insurance when I moved the stuff in. I use my garage now.

[Bit]

Oh Tommi, I'm so sorry about your storage locker experience!! How utterly heart breaking to lose everything like that!

It is good to go check the unit every time you pay the rent. That gives you a chance to check for water and rodent damage, too.

For collection display, I like china cabinets or corner cabinets, the kind with glass doors. The drawers/cupboards below are a bonus--more storage for other things, yanno? You can see your cherished items this way, but you don't have to dust them (oh how I love glass doors), plus no fourfeets knock them around (YES, how I love glass doors!), AND you have a nice piece of furniture for your home. The size and permanence of the furniture gives weight to the collection, too, and makes a statement about how much you cherish it.

[Tommi]

Oh Tommi, I'm so sorry about your storage locker experience!! How utterly heart breaking to lose everything like that!

It is good to go check the unit every time you pay the rent. That gives you a chance to check for water and rodent damage, too.

For collection display, I like china cabinets or corner cabinets, the kind with glass doors. The drawers/cupboards below are a bonus--more storage for other things, yanno? You can see your cherished items this way, but you don't have to dust them (oh how I love glass doors), plus no fourfeets knock them around (YES, how I love glass doors!), AND you have a nice piece of furniture for your home. The size and permanence of the furniture gives weight to the collection, too, and makes a statement about how much you cherish it.

Yes Bit...:rrose::rrose::rrose::rrose::rrose::rrose:.. Exactly. Thank you. that never entered my mind. Someone else usually bought the furnitures..I have a large collection of miniature motorcycles on HIGH shelves, almost out of site, so Tigger can't get to them in my den.

I am going to get a display cabinet.

[Apocalipstic]

Okay. Need advice on Cups running over. I have one entire kitchen cabinet full of coffee cups. I could use the space for consumables. I can't part with them, it's dumb to store them, so, any suggestions.

I live alone. I use one cup at a time, and it's my Fav.. I don't use Babe Ruth, ET, Superman, Steelers, 49r's, Charger's, my favorite football Steins, all the Starbuck City Collectibles, and a cup from every where I have been, my friends and lover's have brought me. I love them, but don't need them. They fill 4 shelves. I need an intervention***:seeingstars:

Someone suggested I use them regularly, and when the chip or break toss them ,or use as pencil holders. But they are special*I have a pencil holder already.
Inow.

We do the cup thing. We must have a cup from everywhere we go and we enjoy using them and laughing about them...plus, we have sets of cups.

I sold 3 cups at yard sale.

3

[Isadora]

We do the cup thing. We must have a cup from everywhere we go and we enjoy using them and laughing about them...plus, we have sets of cups.

I sold 3 cups at yard sale.

3

I think mugs multiply overnight, in the dark. I had two shelves full. I unpacked 6 mugs, the rest went into storage for a yard sale. Yes, I am ruthless. I used to do this for friends who were hoarders (and I live with one, what the hell do you need 15 empty pickle jars (jelly jars, mayo jars, etc., etc., etc.).

Schon is allergic to several things including pine scent. So no real trees for us. So we bought a beautiful fake tree 20 years ago. Now you have to understand for the last five years hy has been duct-taping said tree together. Somehow, opps, when it was put away several main branches disappeared. Oh no! AND still hy wanted to keep the old tree for "parts". umm Oh hell no.

It is a constant vigil. :vigil:

[christie]

We do the cup thing. We must have a cup from everywhere we go and we enjoy using them and laughing about them...plus, we have sets of cups.

I sold 3 cups at yard sale.

3

Three must be the magical number of things we get rid of!

I won't talk about the pair of boots I might have picked up on eBay last night. :byebye:

[Jess]

Three must be the magical number of things we get rid of!

I won't talk about the pair of boots I might have picked up on eBay last night. :byebye:

:sunglass: >> :blueheels: << :confused:
hmmm... :deepthoughts:

:stiletto:

:tongue:

:dance2:

[Dude]

garage sale was a bust.
storm blew away all the people
I made $2.50.

I bought an antique bed pan for a quarter:cigar2:

[Apocalipstic]

garage sale was a bust.
storm blew away all the people
I made $2.50.

I bought an antique bed pan for a quarter:cigar2:


Oh no, I am so sorry!

[Isadora]

The week before he showed up at our house. This was not unusual. He also brought presents. This was also not unusual. This time it was one of those weighted birds, you rest the beak on a corner and it hangs. He said that like birds we should all be so free.

We got the call when we got home from work one cold October day. He shot himself in the head with a 35 Magnum. He called the police himself. Reported his own body in his car in his garage.

In 20 years he would not let us in his apartment. We had to break in because he had changed all the locks and the management did not have keys.

Horror. I walked in. I burst into tears. The social worker missed all the clues.

There was a path from the front door to the living room. It was filled to the ceiling except for one empty worn ass chair. The kitchen had all but disappeared in piles of magazines, books, and dirt. The bathroom was black. *Deep breath* except the foot prints where he stood to shower. It was not painted black, the mold so think it choked me. In his bedroom were 20 years of Christmas gifts still in the boxes. Still. In. The. Boxes.

We took his ashes and bought a huge sugar maple tree. We buried the ashes under the tree. So that every fall at this time it would turn brilliant shades of red and orange, to remind us that he was an amazing man.

Some hoarding is light and funny. I tease about Schon's collecting pickle jars.

Some is not. Some is a true horror and if anyone absolutely refuses to let family in their home...it may be a sign. I missed it. I hope I don't ever again. He left everyone in the family a bird. He is flying free now.

[happygirl]

Tommi, I know the coffee cup problem all too well. I also have a collection that is massive, but there are a lot of memories associated with them. I have what is called a "mud room" off of my kitchen, with a wall about 5 foot wide. I took wood pegs that screw in the wall for coats and hung my cups randomly and wala! It worked and it actually looks neat. My house is set up to where my driveway is by the "mud room" door and friends and family always use that door instead of the front door. Coffee is always made at my house, I drink it 24-7. My visitors automatically come in and take a cup down and walk to the coffee pot. Some of the really special ones, I have up high so they can't be reached or used. I even had a couple friends bring their own cups to add to the wall that they grab when they visit. I love my coffee cup wall. Whats even better, is I don't feel guilty about adding to it with new cups and mugs.

[katsarecool]

I used to have a large collection of coffee cups but purged my kitchen down to the bare necessities several months ago. Purge much of the rest of the house as well. A few days ago, I was trying to recall the things I had either given away, gave to charity and threw away and mostly drew a blank. I guess that is progress. :blink:

[Bit]

I took wood pegs that screw in the wall for coats and hung my cups randomly and wala! It worked and it actually looks neat. .... My visitors automatically come in and take a cup down and walk to the coffee pot. ..... I even had a couple friends bring their own cups to add to the wall ....

This is a FANTASTIC idea! I love it!! Never would have thought of it, either. When we finally get That House turned into the house we wish it be, we'll have to hang part of Gryph's coffee cup collection on the kitchen wall! In the meantime, it's in a corner cabinet that a friend gave us; they built it for television use so it's low, but it has doors and right now that's what counts, yanno?
~~~~~~~~~~~

So we've been working in That Living Room. I overdid it but hey, I took a couple days to rest and that helped. The room has been vacuumed, the process of vacuuming the cat fur off the (long neglected) furniture has begun, and the chairs and sofa face each other with coffee tables between. The bookshelves are full of books and DVDs, the boombox has a home (but no electrical outlet, and this is a DEFINITE inconvenience, yanno? Darned old houses...), and the room is walkable.

I'm just astounded. It's finally really truly a room, instead of a dumping ground for everything we didn't know what to do with. The space was SO huge, but turning the couch to face the fireplace made a "wall" that defined a smaller space completely and turned it into a room!

Our friends did not bring the piano, but that's probably for the best; don't think we could have dealt with it that day. They'll bring it sooner or later and when they do, it won't be a disaster; we already know where it goes. That in itself is a major victory.

So now we have the bathroom, bedroom, living room, and mudroom (laundry room) pretty well defined; the kitchen still needs major work because my cupboards are unusable. I have to get more spray primer and enamel to seal the splinters into the wood so that I can start putting my dishes and pots and pans into them; then I won't have to have shelves and boxes everywhere. It helped immensely just to be able to put the turkey roaster away when we got the first cupboard painted, yanno?

The dining room is also defined, with the computers on one side and the two easy chairs on the other, but it doesn't work right at all and we have to figure out how to rearrange everything to get the computers away from the heat vent and the thermostat. This problem has vexed us for the whole time we've lived here in That House--it's because of the placement of the electrical outlets and the need to run the phone cord in from the bedroom-that-has-no-heat. Sheesh, if that bedroom had heat, that's where the computers would be--it has TWO electrical outlets! Old houses... oh well. *rueful smile*

[Jess]

So, I am starting to compartmentalize in my head good vs bad hoarding.

EX: Bad: My mom keeps every scrap of crazy shit she may ever possibly need for whatever project may possibly come up, not only for herself but for anyone else she may remotely know. "Someone" may need that "someday". I literally tossed around 80 rolls of old wallpaper ( circa 1970's) from the garage when I cleaned it the first time. That is just one example of the crazy bad hoarding.

EX: Good: Keeping schematics to things like your plumbing/ wiring/ maint. diagrams for your wood water stove that has been messed up for years and no one seems to have a clue as to how to fix it! SOME things are IMPORTANT to keep. GRRRRRRRRR!

Deep cleansing breath.

If you can't put clothes in the closet because you still have your granddaughters first day of third grade outfit... BAD! If you tossed out your warranty/ instructions for your primary heating system to make room for more pictures of someone's seventh cousin on your in laws side who you have never/ will never meet... BAD!

If you have room to live comfortably and in a healthy manner and have everything you NEED and some of those things you just must have.. GOOD!

Sorry for the hoarding rant... I guess as long as I still get angry over the crazy, I am less likely to inherit the trait!

[Medusa]

Whew!

I discovered that we had an employee classified section at work where we could list ebay-type sales. Just made my first sale!

I had a cookie jar that was semi-valuable. It was a McCoy and I have been toting it all over the country for 10 years now and never used it or decorated with it. I finally got disgusted Wednesday night and pulled it out along with some collectable barbie dolls, some jewelry, and a couple of antique tchotchkes.

I listed the cookie jar on my work classifieds and it was sold within 15 minutes!!!!

I cant believe I have moved it twice or that I've been allowing it to take up room for so long simply because I didnt want to chance selling it on eBay and it getting broken during shipping.

So it's gone!! One item down, many to go. Baby steps, right?

[Scorp]

Now that the weather is cold, it's time to clean the basement out which is long overdue.

We're gonna donate all kinds of clothes, kitchen and household items, etc. to the Big Brother/Big Sister Foundation. We have too much crap in the basement and it's time to clean all that stuff out and give it folks who need it.

No reason why we need 2 microwaves, 2 Mr. Coffees, China, serving bowls, and 4 VCRs, 3 CD players, 2 shelf stereo systems, and 3 TVs.

I'm not going the yard sale route either. I'd rather give this stuff away to folks who can make good use out of all of these things that are in awesome condition. They're just collecting dust and it's time to get a move on and get it done.

[Tommi]

Cleaned out linen cabinet to get rid of unlikeable towels and sheets this weekend. Needed at Animal Shelter for the winter cold.

Cleaned out the kitty toy box so PeachesBoi and Tigger could donate some of their many unused toys.

Plus, Pillows I hate and two bags of stuff into my car to drop off at the shelter on way home tonight.

I am spring cleaning in November.

[Jess]

OK, I read Tommi's post to say cleaned out cat box.. totally missed the "toy" in there and wondered where the heck you donate cat box "goodies".. :|

Need more coffee, some headache pills, and perhaps more real sleep.

[dark_crystal]

i am moving next weekend and i have packed up a dozen 3.0 cu. ft boxes with donations!!!!!!

my "yardstick" for deciding what NOT to keep "just in case" was "if i DO find that i need this later, will replacing buying another one be less of a hassle than moving it/storing it/stumbling over it until then?"

[Medusa]

Have been purging the office lately and have discovered a few things:

* I need to stop buying certain things in bulk. There is no reason to have huge packs of paper, pens, or glue sticks all over the place.

* I'm bad about saving "proof" papers. Saving awards or ticket stubs to "prove" that I did something? Prove to who? I'm the one with the memory!

* I apparently have a "thing" for binders and folders with interesting themes or covers. :|

* There are stacks and stacks of craft projects in my office: folds of fabric, boxes of stickers and iron-on patches, sequins, glitter, paint, etc. Some of it has been through 2 or 3 moves and I'm kinda wondering when the craft part is going to happen. I have a feeling that Pixieboo will be going home with some stuff this weekend. ;)

[Bit]

Bigtime Trauma in the sister household: fiance is due in this week--due to MOVE IN--and he has never seen the inside of her house before.

She has been having angina non-stop, trying to deal with the results of years and years of hoarding, trying to make space for another person in her house. I think she is probably terrified that he'll take one look and turn tail, vanish out of her life forever.

She rented a storage locker and has been taking boxes over. I don't know how much she's managed to do, since that angina has her on the verge of a heart attack every time. I feel so badly for her!

My prayer is that her fiance is understanding, compassionate, and willing to see past the house to the woman he loves. Her hoarding behavior came on when her jerk of a live-in lover left her for a younger woman; maybe having a lover do the opposite and marry her will help her to continue healing, and to get her life back under control. I can only pray, and hope for the best!

[Medusa]

Wow - Im watching "Hoarders" right now and almost twitching with how the two hoarders are behaving on this particular show. Both of the hoarders are throwing really ugly tantrums and avoiding the actual process with all their soul.
I dont know how the organizers are keeping it together :|

[HowSoonIsNow]

Yep, watching and twitching along with you!

[June]

2 Closets cleaned out = Two more bags of clothing to go to Goodwill. The Black T-shirt collection is next. Wish me luck!

Oh, and a TV is going to a friends house later this week! WooHoo!

[Medusa]

:|:|:|:|


New show (Is it a marathon?!!!??!!): Apparently one of the hoarders on this show is also a compulsive thief. :|

[Tommi]

:|:|:|:|


New show (Is it a marathon?!!!??!!): Apparently one of the hoarders on this show is also a compulsive thief. :|

There are 4 in a row on here..
I just left the 49er's game. Yes, Mom is a klepto....

[Tommi]

Have been purging the office lately and have discovered a few things:

* I need to stop buying certain things in bulk. There is no reason to have huge packs of paper, pens, or glue sticks all over the place.

* I'm bad about saving "proof" papers. Saving awards or ticket stubs to "prove" that I did something? Prove to who? I'm the one with the memory!

* I apparently have a "thing" for binders and folders with interesting themes or covers. :|

* There are stacks and stacks of craft projects in my office: folds of fabric, boxes of stickers and iron-on patches, sequins, glitter, paint, etc. Some of it has been through 2 or 3 moves and I'm kinda wondering when the craft part is going to happen. I have a feeling that Pixieboo will be going home with some stuff this weekend. ;)

:police:1-800- HOARDER :phonegab:

[Bit]

Bigtime Trauma in the sister household: fiance is due in this week--due to MOVE IN--and he has never seen the inside of her house before.



Oops, my little sister went into a terrible medical crisis, had an allergic reaction to the lithium (she's now in the hospital to get the new meds regulated), and so I forgot to come back and tell y'all--my middle sister managed to get enough stuff to the storage locker that indeed everything turned out okay. They got maried the day before Thanksgiving. Now they have to learn to live together.... Control Freak Sister has to learn to compromise, and Laid-Back Brother-In-Law has to learn to stand up for himself.

The thing which actually bothers my sister the most right now is that she has to learn to cook "American food," since she never bothered before; she much prefers to cook Mexican food. Sure hope that b-i-l has a high tolerance for spicy hot food!

I'm wishing them a long and happy life together.

[Jess]

Guest room is finally "box" free! The backporch ( girl's future crafty room/ sunroom/mudroom/ whatever room until it gets the addition added) is almost tool free! It WAS tool free for about 15 minutes until I had to store a few things in there for some yet to be finished projects. :hammer: :builder::woodchop:

The bad side is that garage has been added to. LOL! We are getting much closer to the world of perfect order that I dream of. I know that as we continue to grow we will continue to acquire more junk, but having things in some sort of order before new junk enters helps a great deal.

Good luck to everyone working on their inner "collector". The holidays are pretty tricky to navigate with stuff all around ( at least for me, it gets overwhelming). Although, I do think most everything would fit in the wood stove if it got too bad! Good luck y'all! :byebye:

[christie]

As we approach year end, I thought it might be helpful to some to post the household/personal paperwork "keep" suggestions:

From Consumer Reports:

Keep for a year or lessBegin your organizing by setting up a place you can keep your bills until you pay them. As soon as a bill comes in, for example, put it in a folder labeled "bills to pay." Then set an electronic calendar reminder for a time when you're going to sit down and pay them. Store the documents listed below in a file cabinet. You don't need to keep other bills.

If you don't pay your bills electronically, now may be a good time to set up online banking. "That way you can schedule your payments in advance, and even set up monthly bill payments for amounts that don't change, like your mortgage, so you won't be late," Denton says.

To help avoid identity theft, shred anything you plan to throw away that contains personal data. More than 50 percent of the people we surveyed said they put documents through a shredder before they trashed them. Look for a crosscut shredder rather than a strip one, which leaves long paper bands that could be reassembled.

Documents that you have no long-term need to keep include:

Bank records
Keep deposit and ATM receipts until you reconcile them with your monthly statements. File your monthly checking and savings account statements. After you do your taxes, file any statements needed to prove deductions with your tax records; the rest can be shredded.

Credit-card bills
You don't need to keep them after you've checked and paid them, unless you need a bill to support a deduction you'll be taking on your taxes, such as for a charitable donation (in which case you'll need to file the bill with your current-year tax records). If an item you've charged is under warranty, keep the bill until the warranty expires. Staple the credit-card bill to the warranty document and put it in a file with other warranties; you may need the bill as proof of purchase if the item needs repair.

Current-year tax records
Keeping your records organized can save you headaches and money at tax time. Tax preparers might charge more if you give them a disorganized shoe box full of papers. Place documents you'll need for your next return in a file. If you need to save a lot of receipts and bills, use a standing accordion file.

Insurance policies
Keep policies that you renew each year, such as those for your home, apartment, or car, until you get new policies, then shred the old ones.

Investment statements
You can shred your monthly and quarterly statements from brokerage, 401(k), IRA, Keogh, and other investment accounts as new ones arrive. But hold on to annual statements until you sell the investments. You may want to have separate folders for traditional and Roth accounts to help you keep track of amounts that are deductible and non*deductible for tax purposes. Better yet, sign up for electronic statements if your financial institutions offer them.

Pay stubs
Keep the calendar year's records until you reconcile them with your annual W-2 form, then shred them.

Receipts
If you're not doing anything with your receipts—like tracking your spending, itemizing tax deductions, or using them to return purchases—you can get rid of most of those little scraps of paper immediately. If you need to keep them on hand so you can verify amounts against your credit-card bills or bank statements, create a folder labeled "receipts" and keep it with your bills-to-pay folder. That way you'll have your receipts handy when you pay your credit-card bills. If you think you might return something, ask the sales*person how long you have to decide, and jot down the date on your receipt.

Keep for a limited time
Documents relating to investment purchases, loans, and other items that expire or are sold can be stored in an out-of-the way file cabinet. But try to go through them once a year and toss out papers as detailed below.

Household furnishings paperwork
Keep receipts, warranties, and, while you're at it, instruction booklets for major appliances and electronics. You can get rid of a warranty when the period it covers has passed, and the rest of the material when you no longer own an item. Ditto for canceled receipts and bills for major purchases such as furniture.

Investment purchase confirmations
You'll need these to establish your cost basis and holding period when you sell the investments. If this information appears on your annual statements, you can keep those instead. Store the records in your file cabinet until you sell the investments, at which time you should move the back-up records into that year's tax-return file.

Loan documents
Keep closing documents for mortgage, vehicle, student, and other loans in a safe-deposit box. You can get rid of them after the loan is paid off.

Savings bonds
Hold these in a secure place until you cash them in. Or you can convert them to electronic form using the Treasury's SmartExchange program, at www.treasurydirect.gov.

Vehicle records
Keep purchase receipts, titles, and registration information in a safe-deposit box as long as you own the car, boat, truck, or other vehicle. Store the maintenance and repair records in your home filing cabinet.

Hold these for seven years
This category includes personal federal and state tax returns and their supporting records. You should keep them because your returns can be randomly audited up to three years after the date you filed the return. If you fail to report more than 25 percent of your gross income, the government has six years to collect the tax or start legal proceedings. You can be audited at any time if the IRS suspects you of fraud.

After seven years, you may want to keep just the tax returns if you'd like to track your income over the years. Keep tax records more than seven years old in your out-of-the-way file cabinet. Better yet, scan the returns into your computer and store them on a CD or external hard drive. Nearly half of the people in our survey said they kept both electronic and paper tax files, but only 3 percent stored their records only in electronic form.

Do not toss
These are permanent members of your financial paperwork family, which you may need to retrieve occasionally. Essential records such as birth and death certificates, marriage licenses, divorce decrees, Social Security cards, and military discharge papers should be kept in a safe-deposit box. Here are some other documents you should hold on to forever:

Defined-benefit plan documents
Keep pension-plan documents from your current and former employers. Store them in your file cabinet.

Estate-planning documents
Keep copies of wills, trusts, and powers of attorney in your safe-deposit box. You should also make sure your attorney and your executor have copies. It's also a good idea to give your primary-care physician and anyone named to make decisions on your behalf copies of your health-care proxy.

Life-insurance policies
For permanent life insurance—policies that have a cash value or investment component—keep documents and a list of the companies that issued them and their phone numbers in your safe-deposit box. If you have a term life policy, hold the documents until the term is over, then toss them.

Safe-deposit box inventory
Note the location of the box and your keys, and keep a list of what you have in it. Update the list once a year or as you add or remove documents. Keep the inventory list in your out-of-the way file cabinet. You should also keep photocopies at home of any documents you have stored in the box in case you need to refer to them.

Happy paper purging!!

[June]

The pantry got cleaned out last week. Stuff from 2001, but most of it 3-4 years old. An entire case of organic soymilk and another one of organic chicken broth. Cases of peas, green beans. Old evaporated milk. There is enough shampoo down there to last a lifetime. A huge jar of 3 bean salad that I bought to take to a potluck at least 5 years ago. I don't even like it.

Boxes of cereal and crackers and cookies. All of this stuff went into the compost.

Good finds? Serving dishes and baking pans still in their boxes. One of the serving things, a cute chip bowl and smaller 3 bowl dip thing will go to my Studio holiday party gift exchange. The baking pans will go to someone I know that needs them. The others, I'm keeping!

I found some orange and cream plates I bought from Pottery Barn 3 years ago and used them once for thanksgiving at my sons, they were buried in there too, and I was kind of excited about that. (FYI - There are 16, because 12, 16 and 24 are my magic buy numbers :| )

I did three more bags of mostly clothes that I had on the top of one of my closets and hadn't touched for a year. I guessed they weren't that important to me.

I cleaned out this glass tray that had odds and ends jewelry in it and put it all in my jewelry boxes (I collect vintage ones, or used to until I hit 16, then I stopped. I like the ones thatplay music...). I washed some rocks of my Grandma's and am getting rid of the table top fountain that I kept them in. They now reside in a flat basket on one of the bookshelves till I make a decision about them. They look pretty, but will catch dust.

I got my other Grandma's turquoise and blue typewriter out of the case and put it on a shelf in the guest room. She used to write me letters on it, some of which I still have...somewhere.

I cleaned out a drawer and found candles I forgot I had! A long lost bird cage emerged, I thought I was down to one...It's pretty cute, though, I might have to find a place for it.

I am feeling less crazy, overall. The pantry was a huge thing. Before the kitchen remodel, I had one cupboard to keep food in, the rest would go down there and get buried, then I would buy some more...It's kind of embarrassing how much waste there was.

[StillettoDoll]

Going through old music this weekend.... getting rid of about 100 cassettes .. actually I think its more than 100, still have more to go.. next will be my old cd's

[StillettoDoll]

Organizing my craft room ohhhhh gosh it will be a task. Did organize my ribbons last night , amazing how much you can accumulate over the years.
I determined to get this room ready for next year.
Donating what i can.

[Bit]

My kitchen doesn't work again. *sigh* This living without usable cupboards is really wearing on me... I *look* like a hoarder because everything is out on my counters, yanno? And what doesn't fit on the counters is stacked on the floor.

I just can't live this way, I really can't. I spray painted the inside of one of my cupboards and I keep my big roasters in it, but we run out of money each payday before I can buy more spray paint, and it really takes an entire can of kills and an entire can of enamel to seal each cupboard. At this point it's been let go so long that it's a crisis, so I guess spray paint is rising to the top of the grocery list now.

In the meantime, I snagged all my neighbor's nice clean boxes from Christmas when she put them out for the trash last night, and I think I will have to use them as temporary "cupboard insides" so that I can at least get stuff off the floor. I dread doing this because yanno... out of sight, out of mind, and who knows how long I'll be able to put oiff buying spray paint then... but I don't think I have a choice if I want some sanity in my kitchen before the new year begins.

Sanity is important to me, and every time I try to get anything done now I'm saying to myself "this is crazy, this is JUST crazy!" I'm getting scared that maybe it really IS crazy ("omg what I'm getting Alzheimer's? What if I really am a hoarder?") and so I have to fix it, now... even if fixing it still doesn't give me exactly what I want, I have to get rid of this "crazy" aspect of this part of my daily life.

[Medusa]

Hey Bit - Refresh my memory on why you can't put anything in the cabinets? Is there a sticky gunk on them or something?

[JustJo]

My kitchen doesn't work again. *sigh* This living without usable cupboards is really wearing on me... I *look* like a hoarder because everything is out on my counters, yanno? And what doesn't fit on the counters is stacked on the floor.

I just can't live this way, I really can't. I spray painted the inside of one of my cupboards and I keep my big roasters in it, but we run out of money each payday before I can buy more spray paint, and it really takes an entire can of kills and an entire can of enamel to seal each cupboard. At this point it's been let go so long that it's a crisis, so I guess spray paint is rising to the top of the grocery list now.

In the meantime, I snagged all my neighbor's nice clean boxes from Christmas when she put them out for the trash last night, and I think I will have to use them as temporary "cupboard insides" so that I can at least get stuff off the floor. I dread doing this because yanno... out of sight, out of mind, and who knows how long I'll be able to put oiff buying spray paint then... but I don't think I have a choice if I want some sanity in my kitchen before the new year begins.

Sanity is important to me, and every time I try to get anything done now I'm saying to myself "this is crazy, this is JUST crazy!" I'm getting scared that maybe it really IS crazy ("omg what I'm getting Alzheimer's? What if I really am a hoarder?") and so I have to fix it, now... even if fixing it still doesn't give me exactly what I want, I have to get rid of this "crazy" aspect of this part of my daily life.


Hey Bit...see if there's a freecycle organization in your area. You can list what you need, and I bet there's some folks with leftover spray paint hanging around their garage that would be happy to pass it along to someone who can use it.

I love freecycle, and it's super easy to use...both to give and receive.

[Random]

I went through my laptop last night and I was ruthless...

I culled pictures, documents, games...

I orgn all my pictures into proper files so I can find stuff...

It's amazing just how unorgnized everything was.. I had graphic arts project in with insurance photos... Cat pictures in with landscapes... I had layers and layers of folders inside main folders that had nothing to do with the inner subjects..

I actually found three of my favorite pictures and am thinking about printing them out and hanging them... BLINK... My art on my walls and not just sitting in the computer? BLINK?

[Bit]

No Dusa, they're clean enough--Paphigleo washed them out when we moved in, and that was a huge job!--BUT they're evidently made of particle board and so they're full of splinters. (The rags he used couldn't be rescued, they were so filled with splinters!) So I have to seal the wood with spray Killz and then spray them with enamel paint in order to get usable cupboards.

It worked great in the one I did. I just have to do the rest of them now. But for today, well, boxes are where it's at. I've decided to box up things like Tupperware and baking pans, so that I can use my wooden shelves for food.... somehow the thought of putting food into the cupboards grosses me out even after the cupboards are painted.

[Bit]

Hey Bit...see if there's a freecycle organization in your area. You can list what you need, and I bet there's some folks with leftover spray paint hanging around their garage that would be happy to pass it along to someone who can use it.

I love freecycle, and it's super easy to use...both to give and receive.

Only if you have a car, darlin... only if you have a car. Craigslist is the same way. *voice of frustrated experience*

[lipstixgal]

Hey Bit...see if there's a freecycle organization in your area. You can list what you need, and I bet there's some folks with leftover spray paint hanging around their garage that would be happy to pass it along to someone who can use it.

I love freecycle, and it's super easy to use...both to give and receive.

I just checked to see if there is a freecycle in bergen county and yes there is one pending approval from the moderator in yahoo groups so, yay I can get rid of some stuff and maybe get some glasses that I have broke in the last year!!

[JustJo]

Only if you have a car, darlin... only if you have a car. Craigslist is the same way. *voice of frustrated experience*


Grrrr...yes....unfortunately you're right on that. Very rarely will someone on freecycle deliver... :(

[June]

I would like to suggest wallpapering the insides of the cupboards. Some decor stores will give you sample books that are out of date and you would end up with kind of a cool patchwork. And because you would be working with smaller pieces, you wouldn't have to do much cutting, just pasting, so it would be a fun art project. Plus, if you got the vinyl samples, it would be very washable.

I got several sample books years ago and made cards out of them. You might put it out there on a list "Looking for wallpaper books" I know I finally got rid of the 7 or so books I had because I was sick of hauling them around. There might be some crafters out there with some laying around that they don't use.

[Daywalker]

I suggest removing the cupboards all together.


Get some Pallets ~ dismantle them...and make 'crate style' cupboards
Pallets are often found free.

:cheesy:

:daywalker:

[Bit]

Thank you, everyone.

I had boxes on hand so I used them; they're filled, closed, and labeled. Still working on the big shelf next to the oven where I'm going to put some of the food. The bowls and such that I use all the time can stay there, too.

I just can't live in this chaos anymore... I tell myself that if I have a definite boundary, a limit beyond which I am both miserable and prodded into action, then I must not be a hoarder after all......... sure hope I'm right. *wry smile*

[StillettoDoll]

Still getting things organized around here, Non working tv and stereo are out! Packed a box of books today. All together got about 8 or 9 boxes of stuff to donated. so far.......I'm so liking this.

[Medusa]

Jack and I are food hoarders. Sometimes we call it "being prepared for the zombie apocalypse".

I have to confess what happened 2 days ago. We went to Wal-Mart to get some kosher hot dogs (Jack had a craving). While we were there, they wheeled out 8 buggies full of overstock baking supplies from Christmas. Everything was 50 cents. :|

This was the result:

http://i618.photobucket.com/albums/tt266/butchfemmeplanet/IMG_3417.jpg

[June]

I don't even know what to say about that Hot Mess above.

Don't make me come out there.

:seeingstars:

[betenoire]

All I know is that I would give my left index finger for those four bags of Ghirardelli chips.

[Bit]

Did you freeze that stuff, Dusa? 24 hours in the freezer will ensure that they're bug-free (thaw them in the fridge to avoid condensation), and then, my dear, you can either use them up during the year or (if you don't care to thaw them)leave them in the freezer until next holiday season.

People come to visit you, and you have coworkers--50 cents each for two and three dollar items and all of it completely usable/consumable--I don't care if I AM being politically incorrect in the Hoarder thread, "ya done good, kid!" ;)

[Medusa]

Did you freeze that stuff, Dusa? 24 hours in the freezer will ensure that they're bug-free (thaw them in the fridge to avoid condensation), and then, my dear, you can either use them up during the year or (if you don't care to thaw them)leave them in the freezer until next holiday season.

People come to visit you, and you have coworkers--50 cents each for two and three dollar items and all of it completely usable/consumable--I don't care if I AM being politically incorrect in the Hoarder thread, "ya done good, kid!" ;)

I am rotating it in and out of our freezer now! I tend to do that with all powdery-type stuff we bring in the house after finding a box with those cabinet bugs at the old house.
Im a cheapass and normally make stuff homemade but Jack sometimes takes a hankering for sweets in the middle of the night and its easy to open up a cookie mix rather than dig out 10 ingredients. Plus? CHEAP STUFF!

[Scorp]

OMMFGG...WTFFFFFFFFF????? ROFLMMFAO! Fuck, now this is funny as hell....

Shit, I thought I was a junk food junkie....If the end of the world is near, I'm coming to your house to since it will be well stocked. Is Jack building a bomb shelter as we speak/type????? This puts my snack drawer(s) Yes, I said snack drawers to shame...When peeps come over the house, they're like "WTF? Look at all this stuff you have." LMAO...YOU & JACK win DUSA....Hands down....I gotta let "J" see this so she knows i'm not only one who stocks up on all kinds of shit...

What else you got????

P.S. Just this morning (no lie) I had a dream that you were at our front door to visit...NO goodies with you though..After reading your original post here, I'm quite disappointed...


Jack and I are food hoarders. Sometimes we call it "being prepared for the zombie apocalypse".

I have to confess what happened 2 days ago. We went to Wal-Mart to get some kosher hot dogs (Jack had a craving). While we were there, they wheeled out 8 buggies full of overstock baking supplies from Christmas. Everything was 50 cents. :|

This was the result:

http://i618.photobucket.com/albums/tt266/butchfemmeplanet/IMG_3417.jpg

[Arwen]

http://i618.photobucket.com/albums/tt266/butchfemmeplanet/IMG_3417.jpg

W00t! Hospitality Room here I come!

Wait.

What do you mean it's for YOU? SOB

[Medusa]

I finally got my office and guest room flip-flopped which meant that multiple bags and boxes got donated in the process.

I have learned a couple of very important things about what I tend to hoard (office supplies and art supplies) and what I am willing to cut loose if faced with a lack of space (do I REALLY need 30 photos of random beach images?)

I went through old photos and culled approximately 1000 photographs from my stuff - Photos of monuments that I couldnt remember the name of, random skylines, etc. I have the memories in my head and havent looked at any of these images in years so it was easy to let them go.

My office is now a pristine hardwood-floored space with a functioning closet with shelves from floor to ceiling. A HUGE improvement over my "doorway to hell" office of last year (ask June about sitting in a chair in the middle of it all)

And the funny thing about momentos and memories, I was pulling the last of the storage boxes out of my old office closet yesterday morning and discovered a container with 2 dolls from my childhood. One was a Cabbage Patch Kid and the other was a porcelain thing that I was always scared of. Thing is, although I've had both of them for over 30 years, I look at them about once every 5 years and haven't missed them being shoved in the top of the closet. Still, I moved them to the attic for now. Maybe one day I'll be able to let them go to someone else.

Anyone else doing any cleaning out?! TELL!

[Gemme]

I finally got my office and guest room flip-flopped which meant that multiple bags and boxes got donated in the process.

I have learned a couple of very important things about what I tend to hoard (office supplies and art supplies) and what I am willing to cut loose if faced with a lack of space (do I REALLY need 30 photos of random beach images?)

I went through old photos and culled approximately 1000 photographs from my stuff - Photos of monuments that I couldnt remember the name of, random skylines, etc. I have the memories in my head and havent looked at any of these images in years so it was easy to let them go.

My office is now a pristine hardwood-floored space with a functioning closet with shelves from floor to ceiling. A HUGE improvement over my "doorway to hell" office of last year (ask June about sitting in a chair in the middle of it all)

And the funny thing about momentos and memories, I was pulling the last of the storage boxes out of my old office closet yesterday morning and discovered a container with 2 dolls from my childhood. One was a Cabbage Patch Kid and the other was a porcelain thing that I was always scared of. Thing is, although I've had both of them for over 30 years, I look at them about once every 5 years and haven't missed them being shoved in the top of the closet. Still, I moved them to the attic for now. Maybe one day I'll be able to let them go to someone else.

Anyone else doing any cleaning out?! TELL!

The funny thing is, not to encourage hoarding of any particular thing and/or discourage the shedding of material things, but I'd have taken your photos. I use them for my art projects. :)

Things are getting more settled in the GemmEbon household. I've gotten rid of a lot of little stuff and have a few small boxes of paperwork to go through (one of the things I tend to save "just in case") and either file or shred or repurpose. Though we still have boxes here and there, it's much better. We have room to move about and neither of us feels smothered by our things, which is how we both were at our last place.

I went through a lot of our clothes and had Ebon go through a couple boxes of his clothes and we came up with a huge yard size garbage bag full of clothes to donate. There's a community thrift store up the road that would take it, I think.

There's still much more that we could shed, but we're not ready to do so so, in the meantime, we're finding homes for the things that we do have. I found a small box of my stuffed animals and I felt really proud when I found it. Just two years ago, I had two....count them TWO....wardrobe-sized boxes filled to the brim with stuffed animals. I've always had a thing for them and so, I collected one here, one there and the next thing you know, I had more than a hundred of the suckers, even with regular cullings. So, for me to have only one small box at this point is a lovely thing.

[Tommi]

I am Still purging like a sick puking drunk. :blink:

Some of the cutsey things from past life, love and kids still hovering BUT: Living alone, I have decided Ido not neeeeeed all the stuff.

Hundreds of baseball caps. Donated

Three bags of T-shirts,. Donated
:boxers::boxers: and :sock::sock: trashed =one dresser empty

Sofabed from living room- Gone to the Alkie's Shelter

Towels that didn't fit, feel good, or were ugly
along with Blankets and Sheets from my old queen size bed-Excitedly accepted at the Animal Shelter


Dozens of Starbuck's City Coffee Cups and other's from all my travels: taken to Laguna Canyon Club
I have 3 shelves of empty kitchen cupboard. Maybe I'll reline them.!!

Papers and address labels to the shredder: Gone

Emptying Every Dresser Drawer is my next project--->then dumping what i don't like, want , need and am no longer sentimentally attached to.

Holding on are the Do-It Yourself, This Old House, and Gardening magazines, just in case I feel the need to project.

Also, the twin bed size Toy Box in the Master bedroom was just dusted and that's all I'm sayin'. Nothing to get rid of, even if in storage mode ****


Garage is a work in progress, and by summer it shall be 1/2 photography/art studio, and 1/2 Gaming Room/Billiard/ Pinging pong balls .

[Medusa]

WHOOSH!!! Y'all are some purging fools!

Gemme - I still have several boxes of photos and would be glad to save them for you! ;)

Tommi - Sounds like you are making LOTS of progress! I love the idea of donating towels and sheets to the animal shelter. When my beloved Shar-pei passed away a few years ago, we took her old bed, bowls, towels, etc. to our local shelter and they were very happy to have them as well.

The towels in our house are about to get purged. Uncle Terri bought us a nice set of bath towels for Christmas for the guest bathroom and I just bought all new towels for the master bathroom so we have tons of weirdly-colored, ugly-patterened, small, scratchy, etc. towels that are about to go bye-bye.

[Gemme]

Gemme - I still have several boxes of photos and would be glad to save them for you! ;)



Is it hoarding if'n you're saving it for someone else?

:blink:

[Tommi]

Yep, it is feeling really good. I am not stuck with stuff any more. Funny how the towels for the shelter and the cups were the kick-off for me.

I think sherrie said I am becoming a "minimalist". It must be contagious because she started cleaning house in New Jersey too.

[Medusa]

Yep, it is feeling really good. I am not stuck with stuff any more. Funny how the towels for the shelter and the cups were the kick-off for me.

I think sherrie said I am becoming a "minimalist". It must be contagious because she started cleaning house in New Jersey too.


This is right on. I am becoming a minimalist as well! A great part of me wonders what will happen to all of this "stuff" if something were to happen to me and the control freak in me wants to be the one to decide. And honestly, I dont want Jack or my Brother having any stress about what to do with my stacks of plastic bric-a-brac.

The other thing that has motivated me is that I have moved 3 times in the last 5 years and ended up lugging the same unopened box of "very important papers" all over the place only to discover once I got here that it contains menus from restaraunts, old pay stubs from 1999, and ridiculous receipts for things I no longer own. The whole box ended up getting tossed and I felt like an asshole for moving it 3 times. NEVER again!

Im even considering culling our books (which would take a miracle because the entire library is full plus dozes of boxes in the garage) :|

[June]

Even with company all weekend, I was still able to get my closet to the final stage of reorganization. I switched out a stack of wire basket drawers for a dresser that wasn't functional inside my closet and separated out all the stuff I actually wear/use into the different baskets. I hung up all my dresses and sweaters, which felt really good, and I found some things I forgot I had, which was exciting.

I still have a bit of a shoe problem. I need to figure that out.

A few weeks ago, I found a china cabinet on Craigslist for $40, and I was able to unpack 4 crates of things I love into it, which cleared up space in the laundry room. I like getting rid of stuff I don't use, it gets easier and easier all the time.

[AtLast]

Oh, how I need to do some serious Spring cleaning!!

[Tommi]

Oh, how I need to do some serious Spring cleaning!!
Maybe someone needs what you don't use. That's how I got jumpstarted. Stuff for the critters at the shelter.

http://trinityepiscopal.net/archives/SpringCleaning.gif

[Wryly]

I'm going Minimalist, too. When I lost my job and decided to move out of Toronto I dreaded packing up the apartment. I'd been in Toronto for 20 years and in that apartment for 5 or 6 years. What a headache to pack - stuff of my Mom's that I couldn't bear to part with, furniture, my "papers" (receipts, tax stuff, notices from work, etc) that I would just put in boxes - intending to go thru one day but never did.
When I moved I culled a lot of stuff - books, magazines, clothes, some furniture. But I managed to fill up an 8 X 10 foot storage space - stuff was packed on each other up to the ceiling!
Then, 2 months later, I had to unexpectedly move again. I got rid of some more furniture, more clothes, some books, odds and ends. When I moved in with my sister she got rid of some stuff because my stuff was nicer than hers (kitchen stuff, etc).
Now we're getting ready to move again. Clothes-wise there isn't much that has to be gotten rid of - maybe an old hoodie or two, some old jeans. My everyday wardrobe consists of a few pairs of jeans and half a dozen t-shirts and some hoodies. Dressier stuff (for work - business casual) will need to be beefed up but I'm okay for now. In all honesty - a lot of the stuff hanging up in my closet are soccer and hockey jerseys of teams I support. I rarely wear them but I am not going to part with them. I've got tons of books - but I haven't been reading much lately so once I get back in that groove I'll start getting rid of books again.
I just started crafting. I'm not very artistic but just making simple layouts for albums, designing cards, and simple Easter decorations. Right now all my craft supplies can fit in a couple cigar boxes and a 12X12 inch box I got for scrapbook paper ($2 at Michaels, on clearance because of a small crack - the plastic didn't even break and I've covered up the crack with a sticker).

But I have the urge to get rid of stuff that I just don't want to haul around anymore. Some of it is my Mom's stuff - and the difficult part is to decide what goes and what to keep - my stuff I have no trouble parting with.

[June]

Wryly -- It is hard getting rid of family heirlooms or things that were precious to loved ones that are no longer with us. I am not the best person to discuss this, because I have a lot of things like that. China and dishes mostly.

However, I did this thing last year, that I will probably do again this year, which is -- I took something out of my grandmas china cabinet and donated it to a charity auction to benefit homeless families here in my area. It only raised $175.00, but I felt good about it on two levels, it went to help someone, and now, someone else has it and loves it.

I think donating the stuff I don't want anymore to local charities like GoodWill or shelters also helps me feel good about purging stuff. I feel better afterwards.

I do want to acknowledge that for me, it is not a lack of space or moving that makes me do it, and it sounds like what you are going through is a really difficult time, which is very different. I hope things get better for you. :)

[Lynn]

I do have trouble staying organized and letting go of things I don't want or need, especially, as so many have already said, stuff that belonged to my grandmother or other loved ones.

I have learned to give away clothing. That was after losing some weight and finally fitting into some smaller sizes that I'd been saving. As I went to try on the long dormant smaller sizes, I realized that many things were ruined from sitting around. Waistbands had lost their stretch, moths had gotten to some things, there were stains from being stored in plastic garment bags. What a waste. I felt sick that the clothes were ruined and thought that someone else could have been enjoying them while I held onto clothing that went out of style ten years earlier.

I still struggle with papers and stuff. Vases, candlesticks, kitchen stuff.... And, books, lots of books. I've always felt it was practically a sin to give away books.

Giving things to people that need them always helps. I am on freecycle and I also work at a residence for disabled adults where they are always looking for clothing in good condition.

[Medusa]

Good point about the clothes, Lynn!

I very recently cut loose a LOT of stuff that I had been "saving" for when I get smaller. Some of it was very good stuff like a couple of leather corsets (went to Femme friends of mine), several formal things, and lots of beloved dresses and such.

Juney helped me cut loose a lot of it when she was here for the Reunion; talk about having a friend tell you about that one brown frock that you thought was SOOOO cute. I think her words were, "Angie, that thing is hideous and you are forbidden to wear it."
(It really was!)

Many of the things I had "saved" were easily cut loose once I took a closer look. Some of it was just out of style (and Ive not ever been one for "style" but some of it was clearly stuff that was only cute while 1000 other people were wearing it) and some of it was just impractical (because let's face it, if you can't wear a bra with it and have very large breasts, it prooooooobably isn't going to be that great of a look on me)
Some of the things were things I once loved but had worn to death.

I do feel "lighter" for having rehomed much of it and feel that another huge purge will be coming on before the next Femme Swap :)

[Waldo]

This is right on. I am becoming a minimalist as well!

Uh huh.

I like getting rid of stuff I don't use, it gets easier and easier all the time.

Next thing you'll say is that it's "fun". :|

Who the hell are you two??

And hell hath frozen. I have a furnished home now. Still not with a lot of brik-a-brak, but furnished.

[femmennoir]

I bought seven v-neck sweaters and long-sleeve tees today, and I am putting seven tops in a goodwill bag, ad when my Victoria's secret order arrives in a couple of days, I will discard as many things as I bought. This is my new policy! Which reminds me, I just got two new sets of sheets, I need to get rid of two!

Elle*

[femmennoir]

Of course, this new policy cannot and will not apply to bookbinding supplies, yarn, roving, teas and tea paraphernalia, and particularly not to hardcover books....just sayin'...

Elle*

[Jess]

The girl makes me watch what we like to call "crying shows". Those reality shows where people do good things for other people who may not be as fortunate.

Last week we caught an episode of " Secret Millionaire" and a young man from LA County would on a weekly basis create and distribute "hygiene bags" filled with sample size items like shampoos, toothpaste, soap, etc. to the homeless in the Skid Row district. He also collected and distributed clothing. The clothes weren't new, they were stuff we are talking about here. Items we no longer need, can use or want. Perfect for someone who could.

I used to always donate when possible to Goodwill or Salvation Army or a women's shelter. It struck me as I was watching this, however, that most homeless people cannot even afford Goodwill. It would mean missing a meal or two.

We'll be doing some more ( AGAIN) filtering out clothes this weekend and I intend to find a more accessible place to donate. I know Goodwill industries does good work, and I am not discounting them. I just feel at a point where it feels more important than ever to give where the need is greatest.

It's really wonderful to see everyone here being so giving with the things we have previously "hoarded". ( Trust me, I have a marigold yellow pimp suit the girl is just itching to see me "donate" ).

Thank you all for the continued inspiration! (f)

[femmennoir]

At my local Goodwill store, homeless or down on their luck people can come in with vouchers and get free clothing and household things. I would find out from your local thriftshop(s) if they have a similar policy. I think Salvation Army has a similar programme. Most churches have programmes also and do not charge people for the donated items, and there are also programmes for better clothing, which give people who need it a back-to-work professional wardrobe...a few ideas...

Elle*

[femmennoir]

Did I ever mention that I collect (not "hoard" mind you, there is a difference!) tea related paraphernalia with emphasis on late 1800's Japanese made-for-export porcelain tea sets, also religious artifacts, antiques ink pots, glass paperweights, antique cinnabar boxes, netsuke, heart shaped rocks, cookbooks, first edition mysteries, and of course beautiful paper for bookbinding, and yarn..........just a few things, as you can see...all of it things I really need......

Elle*

[Wryly]

A difficult thing for me to get rid of is paper stuff that my Mom had. While surfing around the other day I sort of had a "doh!!!" moment. Instead of lugging around all the photo albums of cards she received I thought that I could scan them and make an online album or even have a Blurb book made. Once the cards are scanned I can either use the cards for various crafts or send it back to the original sender and they can decide if they want to keep it as a memento.
Also - I've been working on some scrapbooking stuff of different pics of nieces and nephews - and have gone thru an unbelievable amount of pics that way. Once you decide you can't fit some into a collage or album - you either send it to the person/people in the pic or decide you really don't need to hold on to it any longer.

One thing I do is actually use my Mom's stuff. I remember buying her gifts and she'd put it away because "it is too nice to use!" I'd tell her to use it but she wouldn't, or only sparingly. So I used up a lot of stuff that she never did - nice sheet sets, fancy coffee/tea cups, bath soaps, knitted shawls, etc. I've actually worn stuff out. I also gave a lot of stuff to family members or her friends as mementos (I gave some needlework I did to one of her friends - simply because she liked the poem and I didn't like the purple thread). So I really don't have as much of her stuff as I used to - the stuff I did keep meant a lot to me on some level. But now I have less of her stuff than I did before I am comfortable with that.
Now if I could only be so ruthless with my jersey collection!

[cara]

All this Spring Cleaning/organizing talk is making me so happy. I have moved something like 11 times in the last 10 years, so I feel like I keep my Stuff down to a manageable amount. Although, as I type, I have been eying that one small section of my bookshelf full of favorite college text books. *sideways glance* They might hafta go soon. It's not like I'm ever going to read those Public Relations books again. LOL!

Anyone want a huge television that just broke? It'd make a good art project. You have to haul it, though. The services that would come pick it up and recycle it properly want $85 as a minimum. :| Oh, wait. Wrong thread. NONE of you are allowed to have it for the parts you may need *some day.*

P.S. All joking aside, my family has finally decided that my Uncle, who is truly a hoarder, is to the point of making decisions that are irrational and not in the best interest of Grandma. Like the 3 bags of rags he's keeping outside the house that are obviously a favorite spot for mice and other rodents. My cousins tried to take the bags to the dump and he wouldn't let them. He also likes to collect the wooden posts from political signs after voting season is over. He has a hole in the floor in his bedroom right in front of his door, so he has solved the problem by putting a stack of newspapers over it and just walks/climbs around it. So, there is talk of family counseling and going into their home one weekend and doing a massive purge of the main living areas so my Grandma can live in safety and peace until she is no longer with us. I don't really know what to think anymore about the whole situation and just hope my Uncle can get the help he needs, too.

[June]

I really struggle with watching other folks who cannot get rid of stuff that is clearly garbage and doesn't serve to enhance your life in any way. I know it is a form of mental illness, but it's still really triggery for me to see and hear about.

I was thinking about this a few days ago. We create so much trash. Everything is wrapped in something except some vegetables.

I read an article the other day about a woman who takes jars to the store for cheese and meats, thereby eliminating the packaging for those things. But most of us don't shop at stores that do that. She probably shops at Whole Foods and buys directly from the meat and cheese counters rather than stuff that's prepackaged.

So, we create all this garbage, I guess it's no wonder that it touches us on a deeper level that maybe we can't even explain about wasting resources. I just discovered a cache of plastic detergent bottles the other day. I will be dealing with them tomorrow. I can't even get too mad about it, she loves the earth. But they can't stay in the house.

[Medusa]

:|

Jack wants me to 'save' a bag of SHREDDED BILLS so she can have something to "start her campfires with". It is seriously making me twitch in BAD BAD ways.

[Jess]

:|

Jack wants me to 'save' a bag of SHREDDED BILLS so she can have something to "start her campfires with". It is seriously making me twitch in BAD BAD ways.

Shredded paper like this can also be added as part of the "brown/dry" in your compost! :) shredshredshred.. go go gadget shredder!

[cara]

i hate packaging. i do what i can to avoid it, but often can't. i think the amount of packaging we use is relative to how far removed we have become from our food. i like that lady' s idea about bringing her own containers to the store. i dont know how people can afford groceries these days. this seems like a good topic for another thread...

[June]

I think processed groceries are much more expensive than raw ingredients. But people don't like to spend the time to cook anymore, so you end up with a lot of boxes, cans, jars, bottles and wrappers that you then have to do something with. Even using raw ingredients generates some of that.

If you buy a bag of flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, eggs, butter and milk you can make a lot of stuff. You can even bake a humongous pineapple upside down cake that ends upside down on the floor :(

I do a lot of cooking on the weekends so we have stuff for lunches and snacks. I usually make a big salad on sunday so I can throw some into a container during the week for my lunch. It's just another habit to get into so you don't wind up getting fast food or something heavily processed from the corner store.

[Medusa]

And I have a lovely tip for those folks who take their lunch - Jackhammer HATES that I wash out Ziploc bags and reuse them (unless it's nasty gross chicken juice, in which case I can't bring myself to touch it and throw it away). To remedy her hatred of my piles of used (but clean) Ziploc bags, we bought 2 reuseable sandwich boxes for $1 each.

:)

[cara]

Great tips. Yes, indeed! I guess seeing all of my family's issues with hoarding has created somewhat of an opposite problem for me. i would love to cook and store food for the week, but i refuse to buy plastic storage containers and the non plastic type are too expensive. i do have some plastic containers from yogurt and such, but not very many. i have been using aluminum foil instead of ziploc bags. i also sometimes reuse bags things come in such as bread bags. maybe i oughta take somr cooking classes or something...

[femmennoir]

I don't buy processed food, even so it is hard not to generate too much packaging. I recycle all I can through the curb programme (paper, cardboard, metal, glass, some plastic the city of NY will take). I recycle wine corks through a wine merchant, plastic bags through the Goodwill store, and bottle tops through a programme at an Aveda store. I recycle textiles which can no longer be used at my green market, old towels at my local vet clinic. I always take my own bags when I shop. I buy milk in returnable glass bottles. It all helps me to feel I am a responsible citizen, but even so, I know I leave a very heavy carbon footprint.
I just found out that even buying flowers (I usually get two dozen roses every week) increases my carbon footprint, most of them are grown in Africa in regions with very little water, so on top of requiring to be flown here from Africa (!...), they also deplete third world resources. I am vowing to only buy local flowers at my green market!
And yes, it is more expensive to buy processed food, someone has to pay for all that processing and wrapping. It is also not good for your health, nor for the health of the planet.
Cooking is fun, economical, and allows you to express your creativity. It is deeply satisfying! It is less time consuming in the long run, if you develop some habits, as June was describing. When I cook for one (most days), I often make more and freeze portions away for a day when there is no time, if it is soup, stew, chili, etc.... I am lucky to have lunch provided for me at my school, and we have a wonderful chef who cooks most everything from scratch, so I don't have to worry about bringing lunch, but for most people, bringing your own lunch from home can save you a lot of money and be much healthier.
:::::: getting off my little kitchen stool ::::::

Elle*

[June]

Elle is a much fancier cook than I am!

Cara - You can get storage containers at goodwill or other thrift stores. I see them all the time. I bought large ones for my counter because I buy at least 10lb of flour and sugar at a time. I know it's kind of anti-get-rid-of-stuff, but in the long run, it does make sense because you will end up buying less processed food.

I don't buy a lot of milk, but I do buy cream every week for my coffee and I cook with it. I will look into buying it in glass instead. I suspect it is more expensive, but it might make me feel better.

[Gemme]

:|

Jack wants me to 'save' a bag of SHREDDED BILLS so she can have something to "start her campfires with". It is seriously making me twitch in BAD BAD ways.

Consider it recycling and a way to protect your credit (since it will be burned instead of in the landfill, where anyone could piece them together).

Shredded paper like this can also be added as part of the "brown/dry" in your compost! :) shredshredshred.. go go gadget shredder!

Or do this!

[femmennoir]

June,
I have not found half and half in reusable bottles (I use it for my coffee), but the milk I get is really good, with an inch of heavy cream on top, and I pay $2.99 a quart for it, which is fine with me. I don't really drink milk, I use it in cooking, and in my one winter weakness, hot chocolate. I also use it in tea. So in fact, a quart usually lasts me a week!
I just bought gin this week from a really wonderful place, and I found this organic gin from Holland packed into a reusable bottle with the ceramic top! I always look for stuff like that. I also buy either Bonne Maman jam because I reuse the jars (they make great outdoors glasses), or Sarah Beth's which come in mason jars! Same with tomato sauce, I always choose the brands that come in mason jars (I can a lot).
Of course, I also compost my kitchen waste on my deck, and thus don't have to get it from the garden store to put on my herb boxes!
So all in all I find that paying attention to all those things saves money in the long run, and gives you healthier, better meals!

Elle*

[Waldo]

I just found out that even buying flowers (I usually get two dozen roses every week) increases my carbon footprint, most of them are grown in Africa in regions with very little water, so on top of requiring to be flown here from Africa (!...), they also deplete third world resources. I am vowing to only buy local flowers at my green market!*

I believe that Colombia is the largest exporter to the US while Kenya is the largest exporter to European countries. Not that it's a metric ton better, but just FYI.

[femmennoir]

I believe that Colombia is the largest exporter to the US while Kenya is the largest exporter to European countries. Not that it's a metric ton better, but just FYI.

That makes sense, Waldo, as I read this info on a French newspaper website! Even so, how wasteful! And the roses don't have any smell either! How I miss my California gardens, full of fragrant roses! The bouquets were always only a few steps away, and they kept so long! I received an impressive bouquet for Valentine's day, and it faded in four days!

Elle*

[Chancie]

I think it's healthy to change what you can without making it so difficult that you won't be able to keep it up.Hehehe, keeping it up.

You know, like dieting, where you say, I'll never eat anything white every again. Who can maintain that kind of rigid attitude?

I make small changes, get used to them, and then add more as I learn more. Right after I made a locavarian meal for a school project for a class on climate change, I bought a small countertop compost bin. I had already made a commitment to use one small trash bag a week. It was manageable, and I felt emboldened to start bringing my own bags to the regular supermarket.

[Medusa]

An elderly hoarder dies buried under a pile of trash :( :

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/01/elderly-hoarder-cecylia-o_n_843699.html

[June]

Today I got rid of 5 sacks of trash and there is a humongous pile of stuff to be donated to Goodwill, I will load it in the car in the morning, I am exhausted!

I also reorganized the pantry and filled 4 sacks with recyclables.

I am on a roll and on a tear.

All of this happened in the laundry room.

:|

[Gemme]

Tomorrow, the big bag of clothes goes to the thrift store, our collection of plastic bags goes to Wal-Mart and I will actually remember that I have cloth bags to take into Wal-Mart with me when I go in. I think I'll throw our boxes up on CL too, so they won't be taking up the storage room anymore.

[Bit]

I believe that Colombia is the largest exporter to the US while Kenya is the largest exporter to European countries. Not that it's a metric ton better, but just FYI.

I don't know anything about flowers from Africa, but I read an article in Smithsonian about the Columbia flower industry. It helps to replace cocaine production as a source of employment and it employs a huge number of women. The work is brutal but the workers are slowly organizing. So if a person buys flowers which were grown in Columbia, it's like buying produce which was grown in Chile: it supports economies which are alternatives to the international drug trade, and in so doing it supports families who would have no other source of income.

On the hoarding front, I got a phone message from my sister who was just practically glowing over the phone: she and her new husband cleaned up one of the rooms in her house and turned it into an art and music studio. I haven't heard her sound so excited and happy in YEARS. :stillheart: May her life continue to get better and better!

[femmennoir]

Just dropped off a bunch of wire hangers at my local dry cleaner's, which I do about once a month. They are delighted! A teacher at my school told me about this, that although most dry cleaners do not advertise they take the hangers back, in fact, they do! And now, looking for a recycling place to drop off all my old glasses. The Lyon's Club apparently has a programme!

Elle*

[femmennoir]

Found out! The Lyon's Club works with Lenscrafter's to recycle glasses for third world countries! Delivered the glasses, Lenscrafter's is three blocks away! If you have any old glasses gathering dust bunnies in a drawer somewhere, consider donating them to this programme! There is a lot of need for glasses, both for frames and for lenses!

Elle*

[Gemme]

Donate your old pagers, cell phones, Blackberry, and all phone accessories to the troops HERE (http://www.cellphonesforsoldiers.com/donatePhone.html).

When I was preparing to move down here, I found a TON of cells that I'd been dragging from state to state. Before I left WA, I sent a HUGE bag of them to be refurbished for the troops. It felt really good and I highly recommend it.

[Katalina]

According to my family, I am the "anti-hoarder". I reduce and get rid of and minimalize whenever possible.

The show "Hoarders" both horrifies and fascinates me. Last month, one of my FOC (family of choice) members moved back into my house, while we were still doing some construction, then everybody promptly got sick right in the middle of everything. My utility room looked like a Hoarders episode!! It was pretty much wigging me out. But....we got it cleared out and the construction done and the newcomer moved into her room, and all is better, for now..

Later this summer, more construction. Oy.

[Jaques]

I am definately NOT a hoarder BUT I do keep things that are precious to ME, such as my family photographs of several generations, my childrens toys, some shoes and milk teeth, my mother's l930's satin wedding dress, my father's war medals, their 21st birthday cards - they were born in l913! and also the many letters my father wrote to my mother when he was away during the 2nd world war for 5 years, they are very moving.....
Apart from that, i throw or give away anything i dont use or wear.......

[June]

I just took the 2nd full carload to goodwill. There is a ginormous pile of junk/trash on the driveway, which will get loaded in this evening for a trip to the dump tomorrow.

I keep looking at it in awe thinking "This was in my house" (really, it was in the garage and laundry room, which is 30x12).

It feels so much better.

We're tired. :)

[cara]

I just took the 2nd full carload to goodwill. There is a ginormous pile of junk/trash on the driveway, which will get loaded in this evening for a trip to the dump tomorrow.

I keep looking at it in awe thinking "This was in my house" (really, it was in the garage and laundry room, which is 30x12).

It feels so much better.

We're tired. :)

You're doing great! :D

:stillheart:

[christie]

Its been tidy fit Sunday. Four trash bags of clothes purged from my closet. JUST my closet. Three are for a friend to sort thru to see if she is interested in anything. The other one will go to a local church thrift store. Scary part to me? That's just the closet. Not to include my dresser or the under the bed bins. I may have a pajama issue. LOL

I also organized all my quilting crap. That was an accomplishment in itself. I had no idea when I tackled learning to quilt that I would quickly amass an assortment of things that I must have. Not to mention the piles of cut squares of denim/flannel (I'm making a rag quilt out of old jeans backed with old flannel shirts/sheets). Sigh.

It feels better to have those things done. I was seriously considering bumping the side deck spring project to have a master bath/master closet addition instead. With the limited closet space in very old houses, you have to be really creative to indulge the hoarding issues!

[June]

Dump run made.

Next on the "To Do" is to craigslist some stuff:
Beautiful king size canopy bed (my taste changed)
15 CD/DVD sturdy white boxes with dividers (I live with an Audio/Visual-Phile)
2 Antique chairs I have no room for at all
1 vintage rug that came from a theater in KCMO a friend gave me eons ago

Then:
Two boxes of books to Powells for resale, if they don't buy them, they will go to Goodwill.

Then:
Sell the Vespa that I bought in 2008 and rode home from the dealer. My son has ridden it more than I have, and it's only got 100 miles on it...

E-bay 5 crates of stuff I set aside last time I reorganized

[Nat]

Currently reading "Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things."

So far, it's pretty interesting. It says the majority of hoarders do not possess OCD symptoms. Also that most OCD folks don't experience pleasure when satisfying a compulsion, but a compulsive hoarder generally will experience pleasure when acquiring items. The book says this part of hoarding seems like an Impulse Control Disorder like compulsive gambling or compulsive spending. However, the inability to get rid of stuff looks more like anxiety or depression.

Interesting stuff.

[Queerasfck]

Currently reading "Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things."

So far, it's pretty interesting. It says the majority of hoarders do not possess OCD symptoms. Also that most OCD folks don't experience pleasure when satisfying a compulsion, but a compulsive hoarder generally will experience pleasure when acquiring items. The book says this part of hoarding seems like an Impulse Control Disorder like compulsive gambling or compulsive spending. However, the inability to get rid of stuff looks more like anxiety or depression.

Interesting stuff.


It's definitely an interesting topic. We watch the show and usually I find myself putting the Hoarder into one of two categories. They either seem really, really unable to help themselves and it's usually very sad. Then there's the other type of hoarder who gets mad when someone tries to get rid of anything and I just find myself getting annoyed by them.

Also, many times when the camera pans over "the hoard" usually seen are copies of books on how to be more organized which I find oddly funny.

[Nat]

It's definitely an interesting topic. We watch the show and usually I find myself putting the Hoarder into one of two categories. They either seem really, really unable to help themselves and it's usually very sad. Then there's the other type of hoarder who gets mad when someone tries to get rid of anything and I just find myself getting annoyed by them.

Also, many times when the camera pans over "the hoard" usually seen are copies of books on how to be more organized which I find oddly funny.

I discovered a while back that if I am watching Hoarders, it makes it easier for me to simultaneously clean/straighten/organize/get rid of things. It's a relief somehow that other people struggle with hoarding, and it also is encouraging to me to hear the organizers/therapists ask questions about stuff and encourage people to get rid of things.

I have hoarding tendencies, but I've moved enough in my life to keep it um SOMEWHAT under control. This is apparently somewhat typical - the hoarder usually isn't identified until they have lived somewhere long enough to really amass stuff. Still, I have a lot of stuff, and my space has looked much like some of the homes on that show. I have *rescued* books from out of dumpsters, furniture set out by the curb, stuff friends are getting rid of. I have bought things and never opened the package, bought more clothes than I could ever need, spent too much on credit and from my paycheck in order to satisfy the drive to accumulate. Both my parents have some symptoms of hoarding behavior too - different symptoms. My mother is more like a collector - she collects certain things and when she can manage to, she arranges them nicely where she can enjoy them. She attaches a great deal of meaning to things and has a hard time parting with anything. My dad likes to take things apart and leave them that way. He picks things up off the curbs, he lives in a sort of nest of debris. He seems fine letting things go though. I seem to have a combo of these behaviors.

I used to have an issue with accumulating animals too, but I recognized in my mid-twenties that I had to stop. When I was a kid, I thought I'd likely be a crazy cat lady one day, but having accumulated I think 4 cats and 2 dogs at one point, I realized that none of them were happy or got enough attention. The guilt of all these creatures with unsatisfied emotional needs drained me and didn't help them much. I'm currently down to 1 cat and share custody of two dogs with my mom. (Technically one is mine and one is hers, but they are attached to each other). M is bringing her dog down as well in a few months.

The hoarder I identified with most on the show was a middle-aged man who lived alone. I remember they asked him why he had a brick in his home, and he said it was a brick from his elementary school. They asked him why he needed it, and he said it was a piece of his history (or something like that). My things feel like a part of me, and they remind me of memories or people I don't want to forget. Being in a cluttered environment makes me feel safe and comfortable. It's weird. I never thought of myself as a hoarder until I saw that show enough. I always thought it was just my adhd and lack of motivation that landed me in a mess. I've seen people do different types of hoarding than mine, and I could tell that was unusual. People who have stacks and stacks and stacks of newspapers, etc. Newspapers aren't my thing.

Looking back, I can remember two times which could easily have served as wake-up calls. One was when I found a dead mouse under a pile of debris when moving. (I was maybe 18 then). The other was after my ex-husband and I separated. I got my own apartment, and he moved in with his parents. Neither of us wanted to face the duplex (which he owned). One day I went over there and somebody had broken in. They had gone through a bunch of my keepsakes, photos, poems, jewelry, etc. All I kept thinking was that they must have thought I was crazy because the house looked like a crazy person lived there. I was more embarrassed that my house had been seen by strangers in that condition than I was upset that someone had broken in.

I do get rid of stuff in waves, but for all the things I get rid of, there's plenty I keep. Eh.

[June]

I appreciate your stories, Nat. I think for me, it is/was procrastination and feeling overwhelmed by the process. What I have found, and have to remind myself of when tackling a project is that some things literally take less than an hour of my life. Like, organizing a dresser. Yes, those things have to be decided on and dealt with, and I know that is hard for people. I just make sure I have trashbags and a box or two handy so I can toss or donate.

I do a lot of self talk. "I don't need this" - "I have had this for X years and haven't done anything with it" - Things like that.

Also, the older I get, the less patience I have for "stuff" that is not useful or decorative (which I know are both relative). So, I have added "Does this make my life better?" to my list. If it doesn't, it has to go away.

[Nat]

I appreciate your stories, Nat. I think for me, it is/was procrastination and feeling overwhelmed by the process. What I have found, and have to remind myself of when tackling a project is that some things literally take less than an hour of my life. Like, organizing a dresser. Yes, those things have to be decided on and dealt with, and I know that is hard for people. I just make sure I have trashbags and a box or two handy so I can toss or donate.

I do a lot of self talk. "I don't need this" - "I have had this for X years and haven't done anything with it" - Things like that.

Also, the older I get, the less patience I have for "stuff" that is not useful or decorative (which I know are both relative). So, I have added "Does this make my life better?" to my list. If it doesn't, it has to go away.

I think "Does this make my life better?" is an excellently useful question. :)

I think I might actually work on discarding more stuff - starting tomorrow. :P

[Nat]

"People who hoard often speak in overly elaborate ways, including far too many details and losing the main themes."
 
- Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things by Randy O. Frost & Gail Stekeete

[IslandScout]

My sister and I are fascinated by the show Hoarders, and I have written about animal hoarders, a subset of the phenomenon that particularly troubles me.

I am a purger, and I say that with pride; I periodically go through my stuff and get rid of what I don't want, don't wear, or don't need. It feels liberating, to carry that heavy bag out of the house. I feel the weight of that bag of clothes or whatever and think, my carbon footprint on this planet has just been lightened by exactly this amount. I feel unburdened.

My sister is the same way. We moved a lot as kids; our mom became an expert at packing a household and unpacking it over and over again. You can't do that and maintain a sense of order and consistency for your family without identifying what matters and letting it evolve—while also letting go of what doesn't matter, doesn't make life better for everyone in some way.

It's not that we're not sentimental, as a family—we are TOTALLY sentimental about the stupidest stuff (I still feel sad, that our mom threw out our marshmallow snowmen, a Christmas display we made as kids and she kept for over 30 years—meanwhile, our hula gear, including feather gourds and faux-grass skirts and other cool stuff is in boxes in her orderly attic), but we are also conscious of what we're sentimental about and don't keep stuff just for the sake of keeping it or out of duty or guilt.

I dated a hoarder for about a year; once I started crying because I literally couldn't get down the long skinny hall that is the entrance to her apartment because it was so full of crap—she was yelling, Step over it, just step over it! but I couldn't step over it, I literally couldn't, and I started crying because suddenly it felt like the weight of her hoarding was pushing me down.

I would have to say hoarding is one of those deal breakers that would now cause me to break up with someone or not consider dating them.

I can also say that when a relationship ends, I purge my living space of every gift they gave me (this feels particularly good if you didn't really like that object so much in the first place but kept it out of being a good girlfriend), and other evidence of their existence. I don't know what made me do this the first time but when I finished gathering all the stuff up and put it in a bag and took it out to the hallway, I was struck by a huge sense of freedom; I had detoxified my sanctuary, and found a ritual that accelerated my healing.

What I notice about people on that sad show Hoarders is that they almost always have a very passive, enabling partner; that they become very nasty and aggressive when their hoarding is challenged, even if it is hurting or endangering someone else; that in the case of animal hoarders, they are completely oblivious to or uncaring about the misery and pain they are inflicting on the animals they are cramming into some inappropriate space, and finally, that the hoarder usually seems to have a profound inability to sort and classify, almost as if there is some neuropsychological thing going on.

I also want to say I think there is a huge difference between hoarding and just being someone who has a lot of stuff or is sort of disorganized or has what might appear to be a chaotic system of object management but in fact, they can navigate through the piles of stuff quite effectively and their way of gathering their possessions does not impair their ability to function at home or in the world.

I don't want to use the term "hoarder" carelessly, is what I'm saying. I think that show popularizes the term and creates a risk that it will be overused or misused in the lexicon.