Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Linus]

Figured time for a little fun. As an instructor we always say there are no stupid questions. Well... not quite true. So...

Ask something stupid, get a stupid answer, ask another stupid question.

Wanna hug?

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/funny-pictures-one-cat-wants-a-hug-but-the-other-says-no.jpg

[Linus]

A: No. Reading comprehension is required. Remember, to answer a stupid question with an answer and then ask a stupid question.

Q: Why do butterflies have the word “butter” in their name?

[betenoire]

Q: Why do butterflies have the word “butter” in their name?

Because you butter believe they can fly, duh.

Why is my giftmas tree still up?

[amiyesiam]

Because you butter believe they can fly, duh.

Why is my giftmas tree still up?

you are to busy with your rock star life to get it down?

[Linus]

you are to busy with your rock star life to get it down?



A. Naw, she's looking for her gluestick stash

Q. Why is it hard to follow simple directions?

[always2late]

A. Naw, she's looking for her gluestick stash

Q. Why is it hard to follow simple directions?

A. Because we are human and we LOVE to complicate our lives ;)

[Linus]

A: Because we need something to make us feeling important. Beer, hockey and donuts don't do it, eh?

Q: Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

[amiyesiam]

A. Naw, she's looking for her gluestick stash



why does she need a glue stick to get her tree down? and does she have a glue gun?
Q. Why is it hard to follow simple directions?


directions? What directions?

[amiyesiam]

A: Because they're Anal.

Q: Why do Canadians have to make things so damn difficult?

EH? ..........

[Linus]

directions? What directions?


A. The obvious ones that help keep the thread going.

Q: Why is it called a pair of underwear when there is only one?

[amiyesiam]

A. The obvious ones that help keep the thread going.

If directions were obvious why would you need them?

Q: Why is it called a pair of underwear when there is only one?

good question!

[SuperFemme]

Because you butter believe they can fly, duh.

Why is my giftmas tree still up?

A: Because your tree is adorned with chocolate covered espresso beans. Duh.

Q: Why am I missing a box of chocolate covered espresso beans?

[labete]

A: Because your tree is adorned with chocolate covered espresso beans. Duh.

Q: Why am I missing a box of chocolate covered espresso beans?

A. Because you ordered 23 pIzzas.
Q. Why does Opera always capItalIze the letter I?

[SuperFemme]

A. Because you ordered 23 pIzzas.
Q. Why does Opera always capItalIze the letter I?

OMG. How did you know about the pizza?

A: There is no "I" in Team, but there sure is in "I"talian.
Q: Is it wrong that I read that as why does OPRAH always capitalize the letter i?

[Gemme]

OMG. How did you know about the pizza?

A: There is no "I" in Team, but there sure is in "I"talian.
Q: Is it wrong that I read that as why does OPRAH always capitalize the letter i?


A: No, but you've made an art out of being 'wrong' so you should try harder next time. ;)

Q: Why in the Hell did I just inhale an entire bag of Circus Peanuts?

[Cyclopea]

A: Because they were there?

Q: How the hell did this thread manage to make me laugh out loud even on such a sad day???

[Gemme]

A: Because they were there?

Q: How the hell did this thread manage to make me laugh out loud even on such a sad day???

A: Because Linus inserted 'laugh now, dammit!' programming into the background of this thread.

Q: Will it stop raining before I float away?

[Spirit Dancer]

A: Because Linus inserted 'laugh now, dammit!' programming into the background of this thread.

Q: Will it stop raining before I float away?

A: Sugar doesn't float, it disappears:chocolate:
Q: Why does the sun set?

[labete]

A: Sugar doesn't float, it disappears:chocolate:
Q: Why does the sun set?

A. Because the moon waxes.
Q. Why won't my dog come in from the cold?

[lillith]

Cause he or she doesn't know it is cold.

Why is something that is transported by car called a shipment, and something by ship called cargo?

[Pixie]

Cause he or she doesn't know it is cold.

Why is something that is transported by car called a shipment, and something by ship called cargo?


To confuse us....

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

[MrSunshine]

To confuse us....

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?


it's all about being a clean prick


why do dentists say "open wide, you'll feel a little prick"?

[Gemme]

it's all about being a clean prick


why do dentists say "open wide, you'll feel a little prick"?

A: Most dentists have a small tool!

Q: Why, oh why does AI have to come on HOURS later for me than everyone else??? :whine:

[little man]

A: Most dentists have a small tool!

Q: Why, oh why does AI have to come on HOURS later for me than everyone else??? :whine:

because you apparently live in the 'way behind' time zone.

why won't this house pack itself up?

[hippieflowergirl]

because you apparently live in the 'way behind' time zone.

why won't this house pack itself up?

A: because you elected to be manly and didnt order the self-packing boxes kit (which comes complete with self-wrapping bubble wrap and newsprint as well as a self-loading uhaul) :giggle: Q: if we get olive oil from olives, where do we get baby oil?

[little man]

A: because you elected to be manly and didnt order the self-packing boxes kit (which comes complete with self-wrapping bubble wrap and newsprint as well as a self-loading uhaul) :giggle: Q: if we get olive oil from olives, where do we get baby oil?

the answer to that is too obvious.

when will you be here to help pack?

[Selenay]

the answer to that is too obvious.

when will you be here to help pack?

Three hours from never.

Why does my cat insist on lying on the table?

[little man]

Three hours from never.

Why does my cat insist on lying on the table?


because truth telling is for the chair.

why is why a seemingly infinite question?

[NJFemmie]

because truth telling is for the chair.

why is why a seemingly infinite question?


A/Q: Why do you want to know?

Q: Why couldn't it be Saturday instead of Thursday?

[little man]

A/Q: Why do you want to know?

Q: Why couldn't it be Saturday instead of Thursday?


it's monday, actually

why is the sky blue?

[NJFemmie]

it's monday, actually

why is the sky blue?


because green would look too "icky"

why does it have to be so damn cold?

[little man]

because green would look too "icky"

why does it have to be so damn cold?


because you live in the "so damn cold" part of the country.

why is one foot bigger than the other?

[weatherboi]

because you live in the "so damn cold" part of the country.

why is one foot bigger than the other?

To make inserting foot in mouth more uncomfortable!!

What is the speed of dark??

[Pixie]

To make inserting foot in mouth more uncomfortable!!

What is the speed of dark??

Faster than the speed of light....

Where does a circle end???

[violaine]

maybe the answer is known to a loon and a lark ;)

why do non-scented items contain fragrance[s]?

[Pixie]

maybe the answer is known to a loon and a lark ;)

why do non-scented items contain fragrance[s]?


So that they don't smell...

If we can control our dreams where is the remote???

[labete]

So that they don't smell...

If we can control our dreams where is the remote???

A. In the sofa.
Q. Why does Pooh wear a shirt but not pants?

[MrSunshine]

A. In the sofa.
Q. Why does Pooh wear a shirt but not pants?



he just likes to set his monkey free


Doesn't everyone want that?

[NJFemmie]

he just likes to set his monkey free


Doesn't everyone want that?

I would if I had a monkey.

What are we talking about anyway?

[weatherboi]

I would if I had a monkey.

What are we talking about anyway?

Uhh you just answered that.

Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?

[Jess]

A: Guns don't kill, but they sure leave a bruise

Q: Why are the tiniest screws always in hard to reach areas???

[labete]

A: Guns don't kill, but they sure leave a bruise

Q: Why are the tiniest screws always in hard to reach areas???

A. Tiny tools for tiny screws.

Q. Will someone please go hug my friend a couple hundred miles from here for me?

[weatherboi]

A. Tiny tools for tiny screws.

Q. Will someone please go hug my friend a couple hundred miles from here for me?

Are you playing coy? This is not possible from where I sit!!

What do you call a male ladybug?

[Pixie]

Are you playing coy? This is not possible from where I sit!!

What do you call a male ladybug?

A ladbug :)

Why do you find things when you don't need them but can't find them when you do?

[NJFemmie]

Are you playing coy? This is not possible from where I sit!!

What do you call a male ladybug?


Unfortunate. ha ha

Why couldn't I resist answering that question?

[NJFemmie]

A ladbug :)

Why do you find things when you don't need them but can't find them when you do?

Because the universe needs to amuse itself.

How come pigs DON'T fly?

[weatherboi]

Law of Opposites

What happens when you swallow your pride?

[MrSunshine]

Law of Opposites

What happens when you swallow your pride?


this usually causes gagging and choking


why can't life be easier?

[SuperFemme]

this usually causes gagging and choking


why can't life be easier?

A: Don't ask that question. Seems when you do? Life gets harder.

Q: Would you like my spouses kidney via FedEx? :ambulance:

[MrSunshine]

A: Don't ask that question. Seems when you do? Life gets harder.

Q: Would you like my spouses kidney via FedEx? :ambulance:

send him with it we'll need a scalpel and thread too.

Does he mind waking up in a bath full of ice?

[SuperFemme]

send him with it we'll need a scalpel and thread too.

Does he mind waking up in a bath full of ice?

I'll let you know tomorrow.

Can I crochet the wounds back together? Perhaps whip up a kidney cozy?:cheer:

[NJFemmie]

I'll let you know tomorrow.

Can I crochet the wounds back together? Perhaps whip up a kidney cozy?:cheer:

you could but crazy glue might work too.

Why do I have a hankering for kidney beans?

[SuperFemme]

you could but crazy glue might work too.

Why do I have a hankering for kidney beans?

Because you've not had a proper kidney pie?

did you know they actually do have stitches that are glue/adhesive? No metal or thread, just some bond a wound.

[NJFemmie]

Because you've not had a proper kidney pie?

did you know they actually do have stitches that are glue/adhesive? No metal or thread, just some bond a wound.


Yes, and I hear they come in flavors too - like Rooty Fruity Tooty Glooey

Why does my side hurt all of a sudden?

[SuperFemme]

Yes, and I hear they come in flavors too - like Rooty Fruity Tooty Glooey

Why does my side hurt all of a sudden?

I borrowed your pancreas to clone it.

Why do I love to hate Martha Stewart? :hammer:

[little man]

I borrowed your pancreas to clone it.

Why do I love to hate Martha Stewart? :hammer:


because it would just be silly to hate to hate her.

why can't we just have a moderate climate here?

[SuperFemme]

because it would just be silly to hate to hate her.

why can't we just have a moderate climate here?

Your location reads "In my head." Find the damn thermostat and adjust as needed.

Why do 7-11 door have locks?

[NJFemmie]

Your location reads "In my head." Find the damn thermostat and adjust as needed.

Why do 7-11 door have locks?

the same reason why they have doors

Why do they call it snow removal when they don't remove it, they just push it? Shouldn't it be snow pushal?

[SuperFemme]

the same reason why they have doors

Why do they call it snow removal when they don't remove it, they just push it? Shouldn't it be snow pushal?

I prefer the image snow blowing invokes. Heh.

Is laundry emasculating cuz it's only great when the water is soft?

[little man]

I prefer the image snow blowing invokes. Heh.

Is laundry emasculating cuz it's only great when the water is soft?

no, 'cause guys are always looking for something soft and wet to get into.

is a whiz-bang the same as water sports?

[labete]

no, 'cause guys are always looking for something soft and wet to get into.

is a whiz-bang the same as water sports?

It's how you rinse if you're a wafflestomper.

Thank you, sir, may I have another?

[little man]

It's how you rinse if you're a wafflestomper.

Thank you, sir, may I have another?


no, absolutely not. you've not tidied up since the last one.


what does the phrase "at any rate" mean, anyway?

[Gemme]

no, absolutely not. you've not tidied up since the last one.


what does the phrase "at any rate" mean, anyway?

I'm not sure, but the lady on the corner in heels and a pleather skirt said that it's a very important thing to negotiate. :coffee:

If my heart is in San Francisco, where the Hell is my head?

[weatherboi]

I'm not sure, but the lady on the corner in heels and a pleather skirt said that it's a very important thing to negotiate. :coffee:

If my heart is in San Francisco, where the Hell is my head?

Silly Gemme it is on your shoulders!! Sheesh!!

The Scarecrow got a brain, Tin Man got a heart, Lion got courage, Dorothy got home, what did Toto get?

[Mr.Nobody]

um...what happens if you get scared half to death twice?

[weatherboi]

um...what happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Meow!!

Do pilots take crash-courses?

[Ryobi]

Meow!!

Do pilots take crash-courses?

Oddly enough, yes. I volunteered for one this past Aug.


Are deep sea divers restricted from diving in oceans?


Toto got naming rights to a band, btw.

[weatherboi]

Oddly enough, yes. I volunteered for one this past Aug.
Ohhhh you know how to fly/?*jealous*
Are deep sea divers restricted from diving in oceans?


Toto got naming rights to a band, btw. I knew he was most successful one out of all of them!!

Only if they are under the influence!!


Sexual harassment at work-is it a problem for the self-employed?

[LieslKate]

A: Most dentists have a small tool!

Q: Why, oh why does AI have to come on HOURS later for me than everyone else??? :whine:

A: 'Cause you are living in the wrong timezone... <winkzzz> !

Q: If we are having Global warming why is it so freaking cold here today?? -5C brrrrrrrrr...

[little man]

A: 'Cause you are living in the wrong timezone... <winkzzz> !

Q: If we are having Global warming why is it so freaking cold here today?? -5C brrrrrrrrr...

you live in canada...only the southern hemisphere has global warming.


how did popcorn get discovered?

[MrSunshine]

you live in canada...only the southern hemisphere has global warming.


how did popcorn get discovered?


on a VERY hot day in a corn field.


How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

[weatherboi]

crunch crunch crunch..i dont know

crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?

[SuperFemme]

crunch crunch crunch..i dont know

crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?

If they take out taxes it is.

Why was I 19 before I realized school x-ing was meant as school crossing?
My child mind had always read it as school christing. (akin to x-mas)

[hippieflowergirl]

If they take out taxes it is.

Why was I 19 before I realized school x-ing was meant as school crossing?
My child mind had always read it as school christing. (akin to x-mas)


because your mind is attuned to symbolism rather than stupid abbreviations made by people who cant be bothered to write the whole word. you are very smart. people dont appreciate you nearly enough. stick your tongue out at them. that's my advice.

(*warning*hot topic ahead) why do we kill criminals to prove that killing is wrong? if that's logic then why dont we rob them to prove that theft is wrong, beat them to prove that violence is wrong and dont even get me started on rape...

[SuperFemme]

because your mind is attuned to symbolism rather than stupid abbreviations made by people who cant be bothered to write the whole word. you are very smart. people dont appreciate you nearly enough. stick your tongue out at them. that's my advice.

(*warning*hot topic ahead) why do we kill criminals to prove that killing is wrong? if that's logic then why dont we rob them to prove that theft is wrong, beat them to prove that violence is wrong and dont even get me started on rape...



What was that you said about logic?

If olive oil is made out of olives, then what is baby oil made out of?

[labete]

What was that you said about logic?

If olive oil is made out of olives, then what is baby oil made out of?

Bay bees.

How many fairies can dance on the head of a pin?

[SuperFemme]

Bay bees.

How many fairies can dance on the head of a pin?

3 on the head of a pin, 300 on a Pin Head.

Why do tampon commercials exist? I mean, really? I don't want creative periods, wings, or a mother nature hallucination.

[weatherboi]

Created by misogynists to supress!!

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

[labete]

3 on the head of a pin, 300 on a Pin Head.

Why do tampon commercials exist? I mean, really? I don't want creative periods, wings, or a mother nature hallucination.


Because without the commercials, we might think tampons were for nosebleeds instead of special bonding time walking on the beach with mom.

Who put the bomp (in the bomp, bomp, bomp)?

[SuperFemme]

Created by misogynists to supress!!

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

No, but happy cows love cheese.

What's another word for thesaurus?

[weatherboi]

Synantonym

Waht happens when you get scared to death two times??

[SuperFemme]

Synantonym

Waht happens when you get scared to death two times??

You get at least one incarnation out of the way.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

[amiyesiam]

You get at least one incarnation out of the way.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?


accidental castration!

why do birds fall in love?

[SuperFemme]

accidental castration!

why do birds fall in love?

They don't. They fly in love.

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

[LadyFlamezzz]

so last night we had pork chops for dinner, right > Day stepped up behind me and ask..."what kind of pork is that it looks great" i said french,lol

(that was to break the ice )

a pig without a voice is called a dead pig!

what's the opposite of rise and shine?
:smladybug:

[SuperFemme]

so last night we had pork chops for dinner, right > Day stepped up behind me and ask..."what kind of pork is that it looks great" i said french,lol

(that was to break the ice )

a pig without a voice is called a dead pig!

what's the opposite of rise and shine?
:smladybug:



Fade to black.

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

[weatherboi]

In da pocket!!

What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?

[SuperFemme]

In da pocket!!

What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?

Then we must all put our left feet in and stick our right feet out.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

[weatherboi]

Then we must all put our left feet in and stick our right feet out.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?


Cheers to that!!

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? :listening:

[SuperFemme]

Cheers to that!!

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? :listening:
My Momma always told me nothing is for free.

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

[weatherboi]

My Momma always told me nothing is for free.

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

I heart you...YES!!!

What kind of fruit is in Juicy Fruit gum?

[SuperFemme]

I heart you...YES!!!

What kind of fruit is in Juicy Fruit gum?

It comes from the same plant as Juicy Coutre.

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

[weatherboi]

Eat me

Does a man-eating shark eat women, too?

[Pixie]

Eat me

Does a man-eating shark eat women, too?

No they leave that to their partners...giggle

Why are red panda's smaller???

[SuperFemme]

No they leave that to their partners...giggle

Why are red panda's smaller???

Safety on Valentines Day.

How can there be self-help “groups”?

[Gemme]

Sexual harassment at work-is it a problem for the self-employed?

Only if you have more than one personality.


Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

That's a rather fowl question. :flying:


How can there be self-help “groups”?

They're there because some of us just need to help ourselves with an audience.

How many chucks did the woodchuck chuck?

[SuperFemme]

How many chucks did the woodchuck chuck?

That is a big IF the wood chuck COULD chuck wood.

Can you get cavities in your dentures from using too much artificial sweetener?

[weatherboi]

That is a big IF the wood chuck COULD chuck wood.

Can you get cavities in your dentures from using too much artificial sweetener?


Not if you take em out first!! :|

Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

[SuperFemme]

Not if you take em out first!! :|

Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

No. Just a dumb ass.

Who's cruel idea was it for "Lisp" to have an "S" in it? :cookielove:

[weatherboi]

No. Just a dumb ass.

Who's cruel idea was it for "Lisp" to have an "S" in it? :cookielove:


Some man that wanted to surpress people more than they already are!!


Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

[Pixie]

Some man that wanted to surpress people more than they already are!!


Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

How did you know????

Does everything taste like chicken or chicken taste like everything??

[weatherboi]

How did you know????

Does everything taste like chicken or chicken taste like everything??

Whoever says that has no tastebuds!!

How can you see what somebody is saying??

[Gemme]

Whoever says that has no tastebuds!!

How can you see what somebody is saying??


Duh. I read the cartoon bubble above their heads! :ballerina:

How did the gigalo get his name?

[weatherboi]

Duh. I read the cartoon bubble above their heads! :ballerina:

How did the gigalo get his name?

It was all about his ball sack!!

Could crop-circles be the work of a cereal killer?

[SuperFemme]

It was all about his ball sack!!

Could crop-circles be the work of a cereal killer?

No. It's a cornucopia of things. Cereal not withstanding.

Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

[weatherboi]

No. It's a cornucopia of things. Cereal not withstanding.

Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

Because they had to pick a word that is as big a pain in the ass to spell as it feels...in ass!!

What is "Soft Liquor"?

[Gemme]

Because they had to pick a word that is as big a pain in the ass to spell as it feels...in ass!!

What is "Soft Liquor"?

A lick involving lips. :kissy:

What keeps Grampa alive on the Simpsons?

[weatherboi]

Piss and vinegar!!!

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

[Gemme]

Piss and vinegar!!!

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?


"Oh, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!"

Where does the rainbow REALLY end?

[weatherboi]

"Oh, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!"

Where does the rainbow REALLY end?

Ohhhh my gay cookie just gave me a great answer...

He said Haitti because they need the pot of gold more than ever!!

Why is it soooo easy to call my friend my gay cookie??

[hippieflowergirl]

Ohhhh my gay cookie just gave me a great answer...

He said Haitti because they need the pot of gold more than ever!!

Why is it soooo easy to call my friend my gay cookie??


because he is happy and goes well with tea!


why is it so easy to beat one's head against the same wall repeatedly?

[weatherboi]

i cant answer that b/c i dont do that

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

[hippieflowergirl]

i cant answer that b/c i dont do that

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

no doubt! uhhhhhmm....maybe b/c if the whole plane was made out of that stuff we wouldnt need any new airplanes which would put the whole airplane making industry squarely in front of congress asking for a handout and so really all that plane destruction stuff is done for the benefit of the economy?

why do people say "it's the thought that counts" when they havent done the thinking?

[weatherboi]

they didn't think before they said it

What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

[hippieflowergirl]

they didn't think before they said it

What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?


Congress


and speaking of which....if progress means "to move ahead" then what does congress mean exactly?

[Ryobi]

Congress


and speaking of which....if progress means "to move ahead" then what does congress mean exactly?

*WE*(congress) move ahead and every one else can kiss our asses.

Why do people say con-man but, you never hear of a pro-man.

[Gemme]

*WE*(congress) move ahead and every one else can kiss our asses.

Why do people say con-man but, you never hear of a pro-man.


Because the pro terms are left to issues concerning women.

Why can you call a dog's name for 10 minutes and they remain upstairs snoozing, but you quietly open a slice of cheese and they are RIGHT THERE in less than 10 seconds?

[Passionaria]

Because the pro terms are left to issues concerning women.

Why can you call a dog's name for 10 minutes and they remain upstairs snoozing, but you quietly open a slice of cheese and they are RIGHT THERE in less than 10 seconds?



Because our animals do their best to train us as well. Food = results!!! It is advised to carry treats at all times. :bolt:



:deepthoughts:Why is it that "the" phone call I have been waiting for always comes when I'm in the powder room? And do you think there is a secret web cam involved????

[hippieflowergirl]

:deepthoughts:Why is it that "the" phone call I have been waiting for always comes when I'm in the powder room? And do you think there is a secret web cam involved????


ABSOLUTELY! bcuz that's the way i set it up silly!


why does espresso make me sleepy? :beddybye:

[weatherboi]

When you drink caffeine your body makes dopamin which makes you relax.

Do clowns wear really big socks?

[Soon]

When you drink caffeine your body makes dopamin which makes you relax.

Do clowns wear really big socks?

I'm an anti-clownite, so I wouldn't know. :nyahnyah:

Why, without children even, do I feel I have still have too much domestic upkeep?

:deepthoughts:

[hippieflowergirl]

I'm an anti-clownite, so I wouldn't know. :nyahnyah:

Why, without children even, do I feel I have still have too much domestic upkeep?

:deepthoughts:


bcuz domestics are really hard to keep up with.

why does my dog want to lay down exactly where i want to put my foot during yoga?

[weatherboi]

because he is related to my dog...the gallootey does that too

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

[hippieflowergirl]

because he is related to my dog...the gallootey does that too

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

yes

do fish make fires with fish sticks?

[SuperFemme]

yes

do fish make fires with fish sticks?

I have no idea but I will watch and see next time the Gordons Fisherman is here.

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

[hippieflowergirl]

I have no idea but I will watch and see next time the Gordons Fisherman is here.

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?


girl cows, yes. boy cows....i dont even want to think about that.

why do human beings drink the breast milk of cows?

[Ryobi]

girl cows, yes. boy cows....i dont even want to think about that.

why do human beings drink the breast milk of cows?

cuz squirrels are too hard to deal with.


(it may have been asked already)
Do humans taste like chicken?

[weatherboi]

No we taste like humans.
Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

[Gemme]

cuz squirrels are too hard to deal with.



But, according to Focker, it CAN be done. :blink:

Or was that cats? :twitch:

No we taste like humans.
Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

Every time he takes a dump, yeah. :crap:

How exactly do we extract elbow grease?

[weatherboi]

But, according to Focker, it CAN be done. :blink:

Or was that cats? :twitch:



Every time he takes a dump, yeah. :crap:

How exactly do we extract elbow grease?

Bahahahahahahaha toadstool!!!

By bumping the funny bone!!

Does killing time damage eternity?

[Gemme]

Bahahahahahahaha toadstool!!!

By bumping the funny bone!!

Does killing time damage eternity?

This is actually a brilliant question, which is why I cannot answer it. See, this is the "Ask a STUPID question, get a STUPID answer" thread.

It's a trick question. Ha! I'm onto you, sucka.

:threadjack:

I have nothing more to say. :blink: Well, except that I MIGHT be slightly addicted to the :blink: smiley.

Maybe.

:blink:

[NJFemmie]

Bahahahahahahaha toadstool!!!

By bumping the funny bone!!

Does killing time damage eternity?


No, eternity has a lifetime guarantee.
If you break your watch does time stand still?

[Miami]

A. The obvious ones that help keep the thread going.

Q: Why is it called a pair of underwear when there is only one?
A: Because you need TWO legs to get into them! lol

[Miami]

A: Because you need TWO legs to get into them! lol
Or because they go UNDERNEATH what you wear. lol Take your pick.

[Gemme]

No, eternity has a lifetime guarantee.
If you break your watch does time stand still?

Nope, it twirls on its head. :seeingstars:

Can you still do the Tootsie Roll if you're allergic to them?

[friskyfemme]

If they take out taxes it is.

Why was I 19 before I realized school x-ing was meant as school crossing?
My child mind had always read it as school christing. (akin to x-mas)

means no schooling to this dyslexic

Why do highways run through valleys? Are biways like frontage roads or back alleys?

[Jess]

Biways go either way :rofl:

Why do electronic components never match up??? ( fifty million cables and none of them work.. grrrrr)

[friskyfemme]

Not every female can take very male. Different strokes!

Have you EVER heard a cucumber burp?

[Passionaria]

Not every female can take very male. Different strokes!

Have you EVER heard a cucumber burp?

Um, not only have I not heard one burp, the thought had never crossed my mind. Thank you for the exposure? :groucho:

Have you ever been nibbled on by a fish? :shark:


Pashi :waitinggirl:

[Spirit Dancer]

Um, not only have I not heard one burp, the thought had never crossed my mind. Thank you for the exposure? :groucho:

Have you ever been nibbled on by a fish? :shark:


Pashi :waitinggirl:


A fish bit me once

Why is the Planet addictive?

[Passionaria]

A fish bit me once

Why is the Planet addictive?

Because children of all ages need their mother.............


Have you ever seen a rainbow cast by the full moon?

:cat: Pashi

[Passionaria]

:closetopic: OK yes I have seen one it was enthralling.

:deepthoughts: If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

[akiza]

no it comes from the waterfall
why birds don't dance the polka?

[Orema]

no it comes from the waterfall
why birds don't dance the polka?

Because they can't find a good accordian player.

When will pigs fly?

[homoe]

Because they can't find a good accordian player.

When will pigs fly?

When the price of airline tickets come down...

When will love arrive?

[homoe]

When the price of airline tickets come down...

When will love arrive?

In 2 days, I ordered it on prime Amazon............

Why do the birds go on singing?

[Kätzchen]

In 2 days, I ordered it on prime Amazon............

Why do the birds go on singing?

Because,,,,,, it's the end of the world. *chirp, chirp* :eyebat:

BUT..... why do birds suddenly appear???

[homoe]

Because,,,,,, it's the end of the world. *chirp, chirp* :eyebat:

BUT..... why do birds suddenly appear???

Because I'm near.....................

Why do fools fall in love?

[homoe]

Because they can't find a good accordian player.

When will pigs fly?

This absolutely cracked me up to no end...........:rofl:

[Kätzchen]

Because I'm near.....................

Why do fools fall in love?

ooooooh, oooooooh, oooooooh,,,,,,,, :hk2:

"I've got a pair of brand new roller skates, you've got the key to me.... "


What is your favorite form of transportation???

[homoe]

ooooooh, oooooooh, oooooooh,,,,,,,, :hk2:

"I've got a pair of brand new roller skates, you've got the key to me.... "


What is your favorite form of transportation???

My broom (especially now with gas prices rising for summer driving)...................

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

[indigo]

My broom (especially now with gas prices rising for summer driving)...................

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

It depends on the size of the marmota monax and if he/she slept well the night before.

What would you do if you are about to hold a speech or lecture but it slippes you mind what it was all about?

[homoe]

It depends on the size of the marmota monax and if he/she slept well the night before.

What would you do if you are about to hold a speech or lecture but it slippes you mind what it was all about?

I'd fake trip & fall and upon recovering claim Amnesia!

Why are there no 'B' batteries?

[Kätzchen]

I'd fake trip & fall and upon recovering claim Amnesia!

Why are there no 'B' batteries? Bees lead an incredible life, not even knowing that they can't fly, so they simply fly anyway. It's possibly an allegory to draw upon that fact alone because AAA batteries are incredibly busy supplying power, thus sparing B batteries an lifetime of unexpected hardships.


Why do dance clubs close in the early hours of the morning???

[homoe]

Bees lead an incredible life, not even knowing that they can't fly, so they simply fly anyway. It's possibly an allegory to draw upon that fact alone because AAA batteries are incredibly busy supplying power, thus sparing B batteries an lifetime of unexpected hardships.


Why do dance clubs close in the early hours of the morning???

Because they want to get to bed before the alarm goes off..................

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'?

[Kätzchen]

Because they want to get to bed before the alarm goes off..................

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'?Oh, I think the blame wholly belongs to both the IRS, Wall Street, and Banking institutions: it's pretty taxing and has consistently confused people for ages. :blush:

Why is NAFTA called The North American Free Trade Agreement when there's nothing "free" about it at all???

[Kätzchen]

Why is NAFTA called The North American Free Trade Agreement when there's nothing "free" about it at all???

It wasn't enough to be happy that Dark Side of the Moon made Pink Floyd bazillionaires, so handy bipartisan politicians created their own cash cow and called it Dark Side of the Sun.

What's the difference between Superman and Trampoline man???

[Gentle Tiger]

It wasn't enough to be happy that Dark Side of the Moon made Pink Floyd bazillionaires, so handy bipartisan politicians created their own cash cow and called it Dark Side of the Sun.

What's the difference between Superman and Trampoline man???

Apparently the cape.

Why do the fur balls, also known as cats think I am their furniture?

[homoe]

Apparently the cape.

Why do the fur balls, also known as cats think I am their furniture?

Because for years you've let them "walk" all over you!

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

[Kätzchen]

Because for years you've let them "walk" all over you!

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Naturally, it has always been Santa Claus.

Santa is the undefeated champion in all the world. :blush:

Because of this fact alone, bread is second only to Santa Claus. *LOL* :eyebat:

:awww:

[homoe]

Naturally, it has always been Santa Claus.

Santa is the undefeated champion in all the world. :blush:

Because of this fact alone, bread is second only to Santa Claus. *LOL* :eyebat:

:awww:

Where is the stupid question?

[Kätzchen]

Where is the stupid question?

If 55 is "fifty-five" and 44 is "forty-four," shouldn't 11 be "onety-one?"

:canadian:

[homoe]

If 55 is "fifty-five" and 44 is "forty-four," shouldn't 11 be "onety-one?"

:canadian:

Yes it should be, blame it on that "new math"!

When a cow laughs really hard why doesn't milk come out of its nose?

[Kätzchen]

Yes it should be, blame it on that "new math"!

When a cow laughs really hard why doesn't milk come out of its nose?

*lol*

I have no idea, but maybe the cow is too busy cutting the cheese. :|

Q: Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it does to run from first base to second base?

[homoe]

*lol*

I have no idea, but maybe the cow is too busy cutting the cheese. :|

Q: Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it does to run from first base to second base?

Because the runner ALWAYS stops to get a hot-dog and some peanuts...........

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

[cathexis]

Because the runner ALWAYS stops to get a hot-dog and some peanuts...........

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

A) So no water can get in or condensation form inside the package changing the contents back to bread; thereby, causing product liability lawsuits for not being the product identified as being inside said package.



Q) Why are there two different ocean dwelling creatures called "dolphins?" One is a marine mammal and one a fish. One is good eatin', but consumption of the other is politically incorrect unless you're shipwrecked.

[homoe]

A) So no water can get in or condensation form inside the package changing the contents back to bread; thereby, causing product liability lawsuits for not being the product identified as being inside said package.



Q) Why are there two different ocean dwelling creatures called "dolphins?" One is a marine mammal and one a fish. One is good eatin', but consumption of the other is politically incorrect unless you're shipwrecked.

......:deepthoughts:.. I may have to consult with Chad on this!

[Chad]

A) So no water can get in or condensation form inside the package changing the contents back to bread; thereby, causing product liability lawsuits for not being the product identified as being inside said package.



Q) Why are there two different ocean dwelling creatures called "dolphins?" One is a marine mammal and one a fish. One is good eatin', but consumption of the other is politically incorrect unless you're shipwrecked.

Dolphin is a common name. The scientific classification for the fish is Coryphaena a genus of marine ray-finned fishes known as the dolphinfishes. That may be the reason it is commonly called Dolphin also known as Mahi-mahi. The fish is delicious food but the mammal is not. Keep your blow hole off my plate! Haha!

Question: What should your air conditioner temperature be set at inside the house when it is 100 degrees outside?

[homoe]

Dolphin is a common name. The scientific classification for the fish is Coryphaena a genus of marine ray-finned fishes known as the dolphinfishes. That may be the reason it is commonly called Dolphin also known as Mahi-mahi. The fish is delicious food but the mammal is not. Keep your blow hole off my plate! Haha!

Question: What should your air conditioner temperature be set at inside the house when it is 100 degrees outside?

Well I would have to say the answer all depends if you're alone or have someone in the house with you! If you have someone with you, that's twice the body heat where as if you're all alone it's just one's body heat!

To be on the safe side, I'd set the temperature right around 65 and hope for the best.....

Why is there a light in the refrigerator but not in the freezer?

[Orema]

Well I would have to say the answer all depends if you're alone or have someone in the house with you! If you have someone with you, that's twice the body heat where as if you're all alone it's just one's body heat!

To be on the safe side, I'd set the temperature right around 65 and hope for the best.....

Why is there a light in the refrigerator but not in the freezer?

Because the frozen black-eyed peas, with their 20-20 vision, don't need any light to see.

Did dinosaurs buy fossil fuel by the gallon or liter?

[homoe]

Because the frozen black-eyed peas, with their 20-20 vision, don't need any light to see.

Did dinosaurs buy fossil fuel by the gallon or liter?

I think this is a trick question......dinosaurs had no money

If all the worlds a stage, why isn't everyone an actor or actress?

[Breathless]

I think this is a trick question......dinosaurs had no money

If all the worlds a stage, why isn't everyone an actor or actress?

Most miss the casting call.

Why do Aliens abduct Humans if we are an inferior race?

[Breathless]

Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved?

[Breathless]

Oh I have LOTS of these... ha..
Why is it that Rain drops but Snow falls?

[homoe]

Most miss the casting call.

Why do Aliens abduct Humans if we are an inferior race?

We MAY be inferior BUT we're damn CUTE:hangloose:

[homoe]

Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved?

The seamstress was WAY pass due for an eye examination when she completed that garment.....come to find out, she was suffering from DOUBLE VISION :seeingstars:

[homoe]

Oh I have LOTS of these... ha..
Why is it that Rain drops but Snow falls?


I could make up some BS about the velocity at which matter exits the atmosphere and reaches earth BUT the truth is ......

Rain is a femme and Snow is masculine

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

[Breathless]

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

There was more money to be made by putting a man on the moon first, and luggage in space was 'light' lol

In the same theme:
Why do we put shirts in a suitcase, and put suits in a garment bag?

[homoe]

There was more money to be made by putting a man on the moon first, and luggage in space was 'light' lol

In the same theme:
Why do we put shirts in a suitcase, and put suits in a garment bag?

Because shirts love to converse with socks, that also are placed in the suitcase, about what happens to the other mate when they go thru the dryer...


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

[Breathless]

Because shirts love to converse with socks, that also are placed in the suitcase, about what happens to the other mate when they go thru the dryer...


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Because they *drum roll* LIED.. someone cared.. someone always cares..

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

[Breathless]

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer, then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

[homoe]

Because they *drum roll* LIED.. someone cared.. someone always cares..

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Well no doubt its still a people trap but now the mouse has retired and is living a life of luxury and in cheese up to his ears........

At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

[Kätzchen]

Well no doubt its still a people trap but now the mouse has retired and is living a life of luxury and in cheese up to his ears........

At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

A: oh Dear :blush: ... your arm is the arm to rest upon. :eyebat:

Q: why is it that a really good book called a 'page turner' ??? :giggle:

[Breathless]

A: oh Dear :blush: ... your arm is the arm to rest upon. :eyebat:

Q: why is it that a really good book called a 'page turner' ??? :giggle:

Have to see what is on the other side!!! and well it is not going to turn itself!

How do you know when you have run out of invisible ink?

[homoe]

Have to see what is on the other side!!! and well it is not going to turn itself!

How do you know when you have run out of invisible ink?

You get a message on your iphone from Office Depost........

What disease did cured ham actually have?

[Breathless]

You get a message on your iphone from Office Depost........

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Probably a crazy strain of Chicken Hocks..

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

[homoe]

Probably a crazy strain of Chicken Hocks..

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Yes and the SWAT team is called in.............

Why does round pizza come in a square box?

[Breathless]

Yes and the SWAT team is called in.............

Why does round pizza come in a square box?


Because round boxes dont stack as nice.

Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft?

[homoe]

Because round boxes dont stack as nice.

Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft?

No, we don't want them to get a big head.........

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

[homoe]

No, we don't want them to get a big head.........

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

No...........

Why is it when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

[Kätzchen]

Why is a fire truck red?

"Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight is twelve. And there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler. And Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship. And the ship sailed across the seas. And, in the seas are fish, and fish have fins. And the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red. And fire trucks are always "russian" around (according to the Monty Pythonesque application of principles of logic and etymology)."

-----☆-----☆-----☆-----☆-----☆-----☆-----☆-----

The random "stupid" question above is provided courtesy of my bff's daughter who got the comical "stupid answer" by asking S-voice, an application available on most smart phones, about the color of fire trucks. :)

[Kätzchen]

No...........

Why is it when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Maybe for similar reason that,,,, if someone would bad breath might recoil and seek fresh air???

Why do lifeguards perform mouth to mouth instead of face to face??? :giggle:

[Breathless]

Maybe for similar reason that,,,, if someone would bad breath might recoil and seek fresh air???

Why do lifeguards perform mouth to mouth instead of face to face??? :giggle:

That would be -- because in the olden days, before you could hold up hollywood with a gluten filled pretzel, also before when saving a life was the only thought rather than what disease you could get, people would lock lips with their blue lipped loved one and give them their lung contents..to save their life.

How is it to 'discover' a new world, when there is already people living there? It wasn't lost so how can it be found?

[homoe]

That would be -- because in the olden days, before you could hold up hollywood with a gluten filled pretzel, also before when saving a life was the only thought rather than what disease you could get, people would lock lips with their blue lipped loved one and give them their lung contents..to save their life.

How is it to 'discover' a new world, when there is already people living there? It wasn't lost so how can it be found?

...............:deepthoughts:....

[Kätzchen]

That would be -- because in the olden days, before you could hold up hollywood with a gluten filled pretzel, also before when saving a life was the only thought rather than what disease you could get, people would lock lips with their blue lipped loved one and give them their lung contents..to save their life.

How is it to 'discover' a new world, when there is already people living there? It wasn't lost so how can it be found?

...............:deepthoughts:....

Oh, it might have something to do with the notion of the antiquated idiom which suffers from the idea of .... "Finder's, Keeper's." Not that anything was ever lost or undiscovered.

Why are soda malts topped with cherries???

[cathexis]

Oh, it might have something to do with the notion of the antiquated idiom which suffers from the idea of .... "Finder's, Keeper's." Not that anything was ever lost or undiscovered.

Why are soda malts topped with cherries???

By spending time at the soda fountain, you can imagine her giving you her cherry. Was done as a tease and advertising ploy.

Why did teens always go parking in a place where it would be easy to have the car plunge to great depths if the occupants weren't careful?

[homoe]

By spending time at the soda fountain, you can imagine her giving you her cherry. Was done as a tease and advertising ploy.

Why did teens always go parking in a place where it would be easy to have the car plunge to great depths if the occupants weren't careful?

The liked living on the 'edge' pun intended..............


Why do rich people get to be labeled eccentric, but poor people crazy?

[homoe]

Oh, it might have something to do with the notion of the antiquated idiom which suffers from the idea of .... "Finder's, Keeper's." Not that anything was ever lost or undiscovered.

Why are soda malts topped with cherries???

I'm still trying to figure out what the hell a soda malt is! I've heard of a ice cream soda float and I know what malts are as well as shakes but what pray tell is a soda malt:|

[Kätzchen]

I'm still trying to figure out what the hell a soda malt is! I've heard of a ice cream soda float and I know what malts are as well as shakes but what pray tell is a soda malt:|

oh, I was thinking that a soda malt was a few scoops of ice cream in a tall glass with soda poured over it, then topped by a maraschino cherry. I might not know exactly what that fountain type drink is called, but that's what I was trying to describe. :)

[homoe]

oh, I was thinking that a soda malt was a few scoops of ice cream in a tall glass with soda poured over it, then topped by a maraschino cherry. I might not know exactly what that fountain type drink is called, but that's what I was trying to describe. :)

Oh if it's root beer soda that would be a root beer float, very enjoyable I might add :hangloose:

[Orema]

The liked living on the 'edge' pun intended..............


Why do rich people get to be labeled eccentric, but poor people crazy?

Because money talks!

Why do zombies get nervous around naked people?

[homoe]

Because money talks!

Why do zombies get nervous around naked people?

That's just an act, secretly zombies are dirty ole pervs!

Why is it that the smallest, tiniest. person who barely weights a hundred pounds soaking wet always sounds like an elephant walking across the floor when they are your upstairs neighbor?

[akiza]

That's just an act, secretly zombies are dirty ole pervs!

Why is it that the smallest, tiniest. person who barely weights a hundred pounds soaking wet always sounds like an elephant walking across the floor when they are your upstairs neighbor?

because they want to have space
why worms don't talk?

[homoe]

because they want to have space
why worms don't talk?


Because they signed an Non-disclosure agreement and are gagged!

Why is it, that person in front of you, at the drive-thru window, holds up the line asking a million questions while you're just wanting to get a soft drink and be on your way?

[akiza]

Because they signed an Non-disclosure agreement and are gagged!

Why is it, that person in front of you, at the drive-thru window, holds up the line asking a million questions while you're just wanting to get a soft drink and be on your way?

because the universe want to tell you something😅
Why alexia talks so much?

[homoe]

because the universe want to tell you something😅
Why alexia talks so much?



Alexia is an "A" type personality, she must talk it's her nature, it's all about Alexia......:giggle:

Why is it that, no matter whatever line you pick at the grocery check-out it always ends up with some sna·fu?

[akiza]

Alexia is an "A" type personality, she must talk it's her nature, it's all about Alexia......:giggle:

Why is it that, no matter whatever line you pick at the grocery check-out it always ends up with some sna·fu?
because it's the rule to make you lose it 😅
Why lucky luke was ao silent?

[homoe]

because it's the rule to make you lose it 😅
Why lucky luke was ao silent?

Lucky Luke really was so lucky! As a small child his mother cut his tongue out..:|

Why is that my checking account NEVER balances?

[akiza]

Lucky Luke really was so lucky! As a small child his mother cut his tongue out..:|

Why is that my checking account NEVER balances?

because the little mouse have yet to pay you back 😅
Why the paper never wins?

[homoe]

because the little mouse have yet to pay you back 😅
Why the paper never wins?

Because rock, and scissors are stronger!

Why do you always hurt the one you love?

[akiza]

Because rock, and scissors are stronger!

Why do you always hurt the one you love?

Because you can't control everything 👀☺
Why the sun is so faaaaarrrrr?

[homoe]

Because you can't control everything ��☺
Why the sun is so faaaaarrrrr?

The sun has always been known to be anti-social!

Why is it that when a person goes shopping and has extra $$ in their pocket to spend they never find anything to buy, but when they shop while pinching pennies, they find tons of stuff they'd love to buy?

[C0LLETTE]

Lucky Luke really was so lucky! As a small child his mother cut his tongue out..:|

Why is that my checking account NEVER balances?

Bring it to zero, it will balance.

What is the best set water temperature if you have a dishwasher?

[akiza]

Bring it to zero, it will balance.

What is the best set water temperature if you have a dishwasher?

cold water to show them were to go😅
Where can you find a penny?

[homoe]

Bring it to zero, it will balance.

What is the best set water temperature if you have a dishwasher?

As long as someone else is washing the dishes, they can set the temp at whatever they wish!

Why is it, that the grocery cart you select is ALWAYS the one with that funky wheel thingy?

[akiza]

As long as someone else is washing the dishes, they can set the temp at whatever they wish!

Why is it, that the grocery cart you select is ALWAYS the one with that funky wheel thingy?
you've been hypnotized once getting in ☺
Why jeans are called jeans?

[homoe]

you've been hypnotized once getting in ☺
Why jeans are called jeans?


Because it just wouldn't sound right if they were called Bills..

Why does the heel on a high heel shoe always break off at the most inopportune time?

[akiza]

Because it just wouldn't sound right if they were called Bills..

Why does the heel on a high heel shoe always break off at the most inopportune time?

to make you heel much master 😅
Why donald is always grumpy?

[C0LLETTE]

to make you heel much master 😅
Why donald is always grumpy?

Cause he isn't Doc, Happy, Bashful, Sneezy and Sleepy, though he is Dopey.

What's faster: a two wheel cart with 1 horse or a 4 wheel cart with 4 horses?

[homoe]

Alexia is an "A" type personality, she must talk it's her nature, it's all about Alexia......:giggle:

Why is it that, no matter whatever line you pick at the grocery check-out it always ends up with some sna·fu?


Sidebar: We have an Alexia, so today I asked her if she considers herself an "A" type personality. She answered in the affirmative......:hangloose:

[homoe]

Cause he isn't Doc, Happy, Bashful, Sneezy and Sleepy, though he is Dopey.

What's faster: a two wheel cart with 1 horse or a 4 wheel cart with 4 horses?

Two wheel cart with one horse The horse knows he's top dog!

Why does it always rain right after a car wash?

[akiza]

Two wheel cart with one horse The horse knows he's top dog!

Why does it always rain right after a car wash?
because rain like to thank you 😅
why earth isn't plate?

[homoe]

because rain like to thank you 😅
why earth isn't plate?

Earth isn't plate because it was voted down!

Do people say "god bless you" when Trump sneezes?

[Orema]

Earth isn't plate because it was voted down!

Do people say "god bless you" when Trump sneezes?

No, they make a sign of the cross because it’s like the devil sneezing.

Why is there a “b” in the word debt?

[C0LLETTE]

No, they make a sign of the cross because it’s like the devil sneezing.

Why is there a “b” in the word debt?

Comes from debit

Why do some chin hairs grow faster than others?

[homoe]

Comes from debit

Why do some chin hairs grow faster than others?

It's a conspiracy actually to see how long it takes for a female to run for a pair of tweezers to get rid of them!

Why is it that whatever we seem to be looking for is ALWAYS found in the last place we look?

[homoe]

It's a conspiracy actually to see how long it takes for a female to run for a pair of tweezers to get rid of them!

Why is it that whatever we seem to be looking for is ALWAYS found in the last place we look?

Because 'said item" has had enough fun at our expense and decides to show up!

How on earth does a single sock manage to escape from the washing machine/ dryer to arriving on a sidewalk of a busy city street? And while I'm on the subject why is it ALWAYS just a single sock, why doesn't it ever take its mate?

[Orema]

Because 'said item" has had enough fun at our expense and decides to show up!

How on earth does a single sock manage to escape from the washing machine/ dryer to arriving on a sidewalk of a busy city street? And while I'm on the subject why is it ALWAYS just a single sock, why doesn't it ever take its mate?

The taker only has one foot.

Why take two when you only need one?

[homoe]

The taker only has one foot.

Why take two when you only need one?

Because things made in this day and age are shoddy workmanship and tend to break or breakdown hence always good to have a spare!

What there really a Mr Murphy regarding "Murphy's Law" of anything that can go wrong will go wrong?

[Orema]

Because things made in this day and age are shoddy workmanship and tend to break or breakdown hence always good to have a spare!

What there really a Mr Murphy regarding "Murphy's Law" of anything that can go wrong will go wrong?

Yes, his first name was Ernie and he was also a magician—you should have seen some of his tricks.

How many jokes do you have in your arsenal?

[homoe]

Yes, his first name was Ernie and he was also a magician—you should have seen some of his tricks.

How many jokes do you have in your arsenal?


Zero original, I steal jokes from wherever I can get them!

Learning English must be a nightmare! Why do we call it a haircut when all hairs are being chopped off and not a hairs cut?

[homoe]

Zero original, I steal jokes from wherever I can get them!

Learning English must be a nightmare! Why do we call it a haircut when all hairs are being chopped off and not a hairs cut?

I have no idea what the answer might be, BUT for sure next time I walk into my favorite clip-joint, I'm requesting a hairs cut!

Why is it, even tho we have countless clothes in our closets, for the main part we tend to gravitate to the same few pairs of jeans and tops?

[akiza]

I have no idea what the answer might be, BUT for sure next time I walk into my favorite clip-joint, I'm requesting a hairs cut!

Why is it, even tho we have countless clothes in our closets, for the main part we tend to gravitate to the same few pairs of jeans and tops?

because routine and laziness is too much stuck ☺
Why soda flavored pop corn doesn't exist?

[homoe]

because routine and laziness is too much stuck ☺
Why soda flavored pop corn doesn't exist?


Because Jones Soda in Seattle hasn't thought of it YEt, give em time, they will!


When a Doctor or Lawyer conduct themselves in their profession, they call it practicing. Why? When are they going to start for real?

[akiza]

Because Jones Soda in Seattle hasn't thought of it YEt, give em time, they will!


When a Doctor or Lawyer conduct themselves in their profession, they call it practicing. Why? When are they going to start for real?
Because they're repeating their sentences before starting 😅
Why earth is called earth ?

[C0LLETTE]

Because they're repeating their sentences before starting 😅
Why earth is called earth ?

All the other planet names were taken.

When will this election finally be over?

[akiza]

All the other planet names were taken.

When will this election finally be over?
When the trump card will be lost 😅
When will shit hit the fan?