The Positive Life

[Medusa]

I was thinking about a few people I know today who are very positive and really work hard to keep negative emotions checked and appreciate all of the wonderful things they have in life.

What are some things you do to keep the negative aspects of life in check?

What are some things you do to stay positive?

Share your thoughts!

[Ginger]

I repeat some positive phrase to myself, nothing very fancy, like "Everything's great," when I feel anxiety and negative thoughts gathering. I do it when I'm walking, or trying to fall asleep. Sometimes I count off on my fingers as I repeat the phrase silently to myself.

If I'm walking into a meeting or gathering and have a negative, persistent thought, I repeat a phrase to myself that reflects the opposite of that negative thought.

I guess what I do is bury repeating negative thoughts with repeating positive thoughts.

It helps.

[Bard]

for me I think of all the good I have in this life a wonderful wife great kid and 4 sweet fubabies.. we both have jobs and family .. so I feel if you share good you get good.. you never know what the power of positive will bring or who you may effect..

to keep negative away I think of where I have come from things I have over come and all that I have
I focus on the love from desd from goose from phoebe gracie jules and piper that I have a great relationship with my family
and I have the family here

try to leave the world better then you found it if even in a small way

[JustLovelyJenn]

This is something I have spent a lot of time working on. I deal with anxiety, and a lot of life challenges that won't be going away. It took me years to get to a place where I believe I am a mostly positive person, and there are still days I slip... but I work hard... some of the things I do that help are.

Take time for me, a bath, a walk, or even a phone call.

Do something to make someone else smile. Rent a movie for the kids, buy a flower for my mother, make a meal I know someone else will enjoy.

Daily affirmations and recognition (this is one I am just starting up again) its important to give myself credit, and pep talks dont hurt either.

[Gráinne]

My dad, no stranger to hardships, always said that when you had a problem, there were two choices. If you could take action, you took it. If you couldn't act, you changed your attitude. Often, changing your attitude revealed some unthought-of action to take. He didn't cotton to whiners and moaners, including me.

When I'm having a "bad" day, I remember that day I wrote about here; standing in the kitchen of a battered women's shelter in downtown Cleveland, holding a damn bologna sandwich over my head like Scarlett in the garden, vowing that I would be fucking thankful for everything that came to me after that, good and bad. Sometimes it takes time, but I succeed more than not.

At that moment, I did not have a home. I had a job, but it was supposed to be temporary. I barely had clothes. I didn't have a degree. All these blessings and many more have come around since.

When the thoughts intrude, I've been taking them to the gym or the pool and leaving them in my sweat. That's another blessing, that while I'm well padded, everything works. Lots of folks, including several on this board, aren't as lucky.

It's not that I'm happy-happy all the time, but staying in that negativity isn't an option for me.

[Jesse]

Staying present, in the now, and recognizing that the past is done and gone, helps to keep me positive.

Remaining grateful always for what I have and for who I am, helps to keep me positive.

Remembering that I always have a choice as to how I feel and what I think and do about things that affect my life, definitely helps to keep me positive.

I also try to maintain a healthy sense of humor which helps in stressful situations.

When all else fails, sometimes a nap is what is needed. :)

[Violette]

saying to myself or someone else who and what I am grateful for.

letting myself feel the anger or fear, not trying to stop it. feel it, take action, or let it go (which is another way to take action if it is not serving me). remind myself I will be well no matter what (however it turns out).

if I find myself always feeling negative around certain people, I stop hanging around them, or keep my distance emotionally from them.

take a walk. wow, I live in a beautiful area.

reach out to someone who is delightful.

did I mention how beautiful it is where I live?

[femmsational]

Even though I may come across as grumpy on this site.....it's truly all in fun.


I have two advantages in my bag of tricks that help me stay really positive most of the time.

The first, I'm a recovering addict. I've been clean for well, years, since I was nineteen. Working a program, it has taught me that holding onto negative is a complete and total waste of time, energy and brain space. In the early years while I was massively struggling to come to terms with my addiction, I would get so frustrated and mad at everything and everybody. My poor sponser went out and bought me a big ole garden rock. She gave it to me and told me to carry the bitch around with me 24/7. I did. For two days. It was a tad hard trying to tote this thing around and get horses from point a to point b as well as train them. So the second day I went up to her whining and bitching and complaining. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO upset with it, myself, her, the weather, the price of potatoes.....everything. She listened to me, giggling the whole time, and when I finally wound myself down, and she stopped laughing, she said.................well drop the damn thing. :| I realized that it was actually that freaking easy to drop the crap and negativity. Just don't let it occupy time and space in my brain. It was and still is the funniest lesson I've learned. Well, one of the funniest.

The second advantage I have is that I was run over by a car. Like my head got run over by the tire of a car and it popped like a grape. Wasn't supposed to make it. I was in a coma for close to 6 months. Every organ failed at least once, some twice. When I finally came too I had to relearn everything. I mean EVERYTHING. How to blink, eat, poop, talk, move blah blah blah. So when things get hard and I start feeling sorry for my poor pookie self, all I can think is well at least I'm upright and breathing.


So in conclusion......lol, When something bad comes up in my life, I have to decide whether I'm gonna drag around a freaking rock or not and I also have to ask myself if it's gonna kill me. Usually it's not so hey, I'm all good.


Sorry, that was a bit long.

[feminality]

What are some things I do to keep the negative aspects of life in check?

I have always tried to be a positive person … I try to see the good in everyone and have trusted that everyone was good … I found that more times than not that I got kicked in the teeth … It has taken a conscience effort on my part (this is a minute by minute effort ) to recognize the Negative and put in check… Stop the thought process and replace it with Positive and good thoughts and intentions… the more I do it the easier it has become. Also I have learned to take things that I thought were bad and awful in my life and extract the good things that I took away from them instead of the negative … And in doing so I find room in my heart for being thankful that whatever it was or whoever it was … there was reason for loving them and reason that it came to an end … better to see the good and remember that with a smile then to live with the heaviness of hate and anger … I have also learned to recognize red flags and let go of negative people and things in my life before given the chance to hurt me .

What are some things I do to stay positive?

It took me many many years to figure out that what you put out there you get back… I am now a more positive person I’m grateful every day for the things in my life no matter how little they seem to be …
I keep a journal and at the end of the night before I lay my head down … I list 5 things I am grateful for … sometimes the list is the same as the day before … and sometimes very different ..
I also have changed the things I put in to my body .. I try very very hard to put only natural things in to my body .. And I have to tell you this is a struggle just getting in to your car you pass a dozen fast-food restaurants … Convenient prepackaged foods are not so good for us … I take the time to Prepare what nourishes me *S*

[Stronghealer]

Things that help me stay in the positive :

Lots of self care : exercising, sleeping well, eating "right", playing guitar, listening to music

Spending time with positive humans

SEX/Kink

having an animal companion

[Rockinonahigh]

Great subject Medusa.For me to keep a good attitude plus a less dramatic life I do many things to keep things happy/stress free as can be.One is to take care of my out look on whats going on in the space I call mine,another is I stay away from negative people who can't live without drama,needy& whiney people just want to use anyone they can drop the oh poor me thing on.Controling people is another thing I just let pass me by, big red flag on this one.Anyone on drugs or booze as a means of life ..red flag again.Liers and cheaters big time trouble...I run like a track star from this.On the good side I am thank full for the good things,apresheate what I can and let those in my world know they mean a lot to me by word,action and deed.I take care of my health,watch my $$ so I can enjoy the things in life annnnddd once in a while I splurge on something.

[Soft*Silver]

I have a lifetime history of getting through really tough hard times. I have succeeded in pulling myself up and moving on, no matter what the trauma or crisis was. It all started with my brother's suicide in 1975. I stayed pretty drunk for about 15 years after that and then one day I just decided I didnt want to be the dead one.

I snatched life back and started living it loudly. Sure I have taken risks that at times have caused havoc, but oh my god, the thrilling adventure that is my life! I read like a well lived life....

but when things are just going smoothly and I am having a bad day, I call people up. Or I do something I always wanted to do but made excuses not to do. Could be as simply as dusting the house. Or it could be a walk in our areas gorgeous botanical garden. I journal. I go on the internet and connect. I find a horse. I walk the dogs.

the important thing, is to stop doing what I am doing and do something else. Sitting in a one direction stream, only gives you the same result...

[Medusa]

If I have a pissy day or feel irritated about something, I will stop and list 3 things I am wildly grateful for. It works every time to put me back into a positive headspace and to give me a little perspective! :)

[MrSunshine]

Visit my therapist weekly.

[JustLovelyJenn]

I went swimming today. I did laps in the lap pool, I sat in the hot tub. It made me remember that self care is so very, very important. I feel grounded and capable. Even with all the very challenging things going on in my life... I feel under control.

[Gemme]

What are some things you do to keep the negative aspects of life in check?

What are some things you do to stay positive?

Share your thoughts!

Today, I worked out like a demon and got those endorphins chugging along. I'm finding that, as long as I work out at least every other day, I can manage my irritation with life and other people better. I knew that, but life has a way of rinse, lather and repeating until you're numb and handy information like that, and self care in general, tends to fall by the wayside.

I try to remember that saying "in 100 years, all new people" or 'this too shall pass' but mostly I tell myself that I wouldn't do well in prison so let it go and move on.

[Okiebug61]

I started owning the fact that I had way to many negative people around me because I thought I could help them! They say you can't fix stupid however you don't have to let them suck the very life out of you! See ya!

[Orema]

Two things help me stay in a good place mentally. I don't take on other people's problems nor goals.

Other people's problems aren't my problems. I can empathize, be compassionate and/or sympathetic. I will help you, but the problem isn't mine to solve or worry about. Or, you may not like me or what I did. I'll accept that, apologize, work with you so it doesn't happen again, part on friendly terms, etc.... but I'm not going to let your bad impression of me become my impression of me.

Other people's goals aren't mine, either. I make an effort to not compare myself with others or worry about how much income my friends and teammates earn, what trips they take, property they own, bonuses they have, cars, marriages etc. I try to stay focused on what I need to make me happy and how I'm going to attain these needs. On the most part, I'm able to stay focused on my needs and this allows me to be happy for other people and happy for me.

[aishah]

watch/read something that makes me happy - for the last several months this has been my little pony. i also play with my mlp toys and such. it helps that my daddy is really into mlp too so we can squee over it together.

i think about all the things i have that i am grateful for - a nice apartment, food, enough money to pay for my needs and some of my wants, lots of books, games, my partners and family, friends, etc.

i try to limit my energy to things that have to be done, like taking care of my health. focusing on survival can be both a negative and a positive, but in being in community with other queer disabled folks, i've learned some helpful outlooks. a friend of mine with a rare tumor condition says that she often asks herself, if this is the last day she has or the last project she gets to work on or whatever, what would she do with her time? this outlook is for me really helpful for narrowing my focus to realize that expending energy on drama or things that don't fill me up is really a waste of my one precious life.

praying, really and truly for me helps. a lot of joy for me is found in centering my days around prayer as much as possible and a lot of suffering happens when i forget to pray and then let myself get caught up in whatever painful shit is going on, i.e. work drama and stuff.

[Rockinonahigh]

The main thing the bugs me is learning to deal with my diabetes,there are days
I have it going my way then I find I don't at all,then it kicks my butt.My numbers are with in the allowed amount but like this morning I tested at 127 instead of 110 or so....all I ate was three crackers before I remembers to test..three dam crackers.I should have waited a while but I got up starving plus I have had to many drops lately and I have spoken to the Doctor about it,so far no word from her.I remind myself it could be worse so watch what I eat with out thinking.

[BestButchBoy]

For me personally, the biggest personal and most positive change I've ever made in my life is to finally get and understand that loving oneself [Not in a narcissistic way!] is the most important thing that anyone can do. It's one thing to say that you get it. It's another thing to really, really love yourself and treat yourself with love, kindness, acceptance and authenticity. It's freedom. It's power. It's magic.

It is my opinion, based solely on my own personal experience, that when you know, trust, appreciate and believe in yourself; own your value, you will not be drawn to anything or anyone negative or damaging to yourself or anyone else.

[PoeticWitch]

I have learned many things over the years, not that I am old or anything, but some years were worse then others. Lets see if I can remember it all for (generic) you.

Breathe

Let go

Smile it will release endorphins to help you feel happy

go for a walk or a run

Pet an animal that will not bite or scratch you

ascertain the problem and if it can be solved

If it can be solved, solve it

If it cannot be solved, accept it and move on

Get out of bed, staying there only feeds your depression

take a shower

Take a nap, sometimes sleeping on it can solve it

talk to a friend that doesnt give advice, it might help you come up with a solution

the past is gone, tomorrow is an iffy, so live for today

Meditate

If you cannot meditate chant, Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo to shut your brain up

When you lay down at night to sleep, your thoughts are plagued with doubts about your day, so fantasize about happy things. A beach, A mountain, being in the arms of your one true love. Be your own personal super hero/oine. Be your favorite character in your favorite book

Make something

Get dressed up just because you can

Ok I think I have rambled enough.. Tata have a good day

[CyberStud]

I have learned many things over the years, not that I am old or anything, but some years were worse then others. Lets see if I can remember it all for (generic) you.

Breathe

Let go

Smile it will release endorphins to help you feel happy

go for a walk or a run

Pet an animal that will not bite or scratch you

ascertain the problem and if it can be solved

If it can be solved, solve it

If it cannot be solved, accept it and move on

Get out of bed, staying there only feeds your depression

take a shower

Take a nap, sometimes sleeping on it can solve it

talk to a friend that doesnt give advice, it might help you come up with a solution

the past is gone, tomorrow is an iffy, so live for today

Meditate

If you cannot meditate chant, Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo to shut your brain up

When you lay down at night to sleep, your thoughts are plagued with doubts about your day, so fantasize about happy things. A beach, A mountain, being in the arms of your one true love. Be your own personal super hero/oine. Be your favorite character in your favorite book

Make something

Get dressed up just because you can

Ok I think I have rambled enough.. Tata have a good day

I'm in total agreement with the comment made so eloquently by PoeticWitch and others on this thread. The only thing I would add that I personally find extremely useful in resisting the destructive influence of negativity, is being selfless. Negativity at it's very essence is all consuming of oneself, so I find doing something that involves utter selflessness in the charitable arena does wonders for my spirit and recharges the positive force by that dynamic exchange of energy and focus.

[PoeticWitch]

Forgive yourself for not know what you want. Sometimes you have to figure out what you don't want to know what you do want.

We don't come with a handbook... if we do someone has been lying to me and I want a copy!

[aishah]

Forgive yourself for not know what you want. Sometimes you have to figure out what you don't want to know what you do want.

this is brilliant and something i've struggled with, with realizing that if i could go back and make some pretty significant life decisions (namely college and graduate school) over again, i would. it's hard to forgive myself for making decisions in those areas i wish i hadn't made, but also if i hadn't made those decisions, i wouldn't have the amazing life i have now. i didn't know what i wanted then (or i thought i did but i was wrong). but i needed that to get to where i am.

[Kätzchen]

It's been a huge help to me to attend Al-anon meetings. When I go, I never attend the same group meeting. I go to a variety of new meetings because no day is the same, much like life -- in and of itself.

But, devoting an hour of each day to any meeting I choose to attend, helps me in practicing several skills. Like: letting go, keeping life simple, devoting care and attention to me, making life somewhat more pleasurable, in most all cases as it concerns me.

Sometimes it's not easy to let go. After all, constantly caring for my son's kind of over took my own ability to care about me.

So the biggest gift I give myself daily is doing things that ultimately show how much I care about myself.

That, and riding my bicycle daily. I'm in great shape, I don't feel so stressed out, and I get a lot of joy from taking life and living life in simpler terms of lifestyle choices.

[femmeandstrong]

Staying in the moment...
something I have learned and continue to learn...

the moment is quite a rare place near a tranquil, winding river....
even a beaver might surprise me there on a rare occasion...
to feel the sunshine on my face...
to have THIS moment...
to live a grateful life...
NOW is all I am promised...and in my NOW I will be present...

So today...
I am given a precious HERE and NOW...
and to have another hand in mine who happens to live that way...
I am touched beyond words...
a smile is rising in my heart...

A grateful day is in front of me...
carpe diem.

[Gayandgray]

So today I'm going to remember all the good I have in my life, and how I kinda live pretty positive on my days off. I'm going to stay positive today if it kills me! It's hard for me to be around so many negative, toxic people at work and not get down, but today I'm going to give it a go. I woke up with really good vibes about this.........:vigil:

[clay]

As I am always looking at the positive side of any given situation, I do stay positive.

I heard something said....be part of the solution, not part of the problem. So I don't view anything as a "problem" rather a solution!

When one gives energy to anything negative, it will continue to have power to bring negative. So I choose to NOT give any power to anything negative & see it as a positive....confused yet...? lol

[Medusa]

Practicing some positivity today by listening to one of my favorite playlists on Spotify, dancing around the house, and working down my "to do" list!

[Medusa]

One of the things I have been doing over the past year when I'm feeling grumpy or having a "feeling sorry for myself" day is thinking back to where I was this time x amount of time ago.

Sometimes just looking at the present and saying, "But look how far you've come" or "think about how you felt this time last year" has been a super amazing lens for being grateful for the present.

And lately? there's a LOT to be grateful for. <3

[girl_dee]

I have been on (yet another ) spiritual journey and one of the things that has REALLY worked for me...

When you start to feel worry or anxiety, to IMMEDIATELY go into a place of gratitude. This shit works!

[Gayandgray]

I'm learning not to take things for granted! I'm learning to appreciate what I have! I'm trying hard to be positive and look on the bright side of things. And you know something, it's not that hard. I really don't have to try hard.....:blink:

[~ocean]

We tend to base our happiness on others. (relationships , family etc.) look in the mirror and fall in love with the person you see, feel, respect . Smile :) your worth every character line ~

[Gayandgray]

I woke up hearing the Bob Marley song "Every little thing is gonna be alright" playing in my head. I feel like a really big weight has been lifted off my chest and I can breathe! I'm positive and excited to begin my new journey now that I'm 48 and the new moon is starting. New moon, new beginnings. I've decided to go 100% vegetarian and eventually transition to vegan, I'm signed up for my yoga classes, Im going to start walking on the beach several times a week (already started, actually), and just slow down and live a more relaxed, slower paced life. Kinda like being on vacation at the beach? You move at a slower pace cuz you are living on island time, ya know? I can make this work in real life now that I will be working less.:koolaid:

[cathexis]

I have been on (yet another ) spiritual journey and one of the things that has REALLY worked for me...

When you start to feel worry or anxiety, to IMMEDIATELY go into a place of gratitude. This shit works!


Works for me, but assuredly different than most people's idea of how to do it. Go to my Partner, drop my eyes, and get curled up in Her arms. Works wonders.

[girl_dee]

[QUOTE=cathexis;1150644]Works for me, but assuredly different than most people's idea of how to do it. Go to my Partner, drop my eyes, and get curled up in Her arms. Works wonders./QUOTE]

Hell, that would TOTALLY work for me too.

i am very grateful for those arms, too.

[Gayandgray]

The universe has my back.....

[Kätzchen]

https://www.makeavisionboard.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/i-am-worthy-of-everything-good.jpg

[Orema]

I was thinking about a few people I know today who are very positive and really work hard to keep negative emotions checked and appreciate all of the wonderful things they have in life.

What are some things you do to keep the negative aspects of life in check?

What are some things you do to stay positive?

Share your thoughts!

Focusing on what I have instead of what I don’t have. It could be seen as a form of gratitude, but for me it’s more about how I direct (focus) my energy.

Talking to my ancestors. I have issues with God but I find comfort and peace when I “pray” or ask for guidance from members of my family who have passed on. I’ve done this for most of my adult life and it takes me from a bad place to a good one. Most conversations are with my mother, aunt, sister, grandmother. Occasionally, I’ll reach out to my father or uncles, but usually it’s the women I rely on.

[Chancie]

I have taken a long time to learn about the feelings that show me when my relationships, with people, food, social settings, aren’t good for me. I generally don’t try to push away negative feelings. I sit with them, and like others have said, I give myself time to breathe. Sometimes I ask myself questions, Does it really matter? or Can it wait?, if I’m feeling anxious.YMMV