My daughter and Japanese anime-should I be concerned?

[Gráinne]

Hi all:

Recently my 15 year old daughter has gotten into watching Japanese anime. That's a broad topic :P, I know.

She's watching these "soap operas"-stories in about 10 or so parts in which you are a female character. The most common theme to these stories is that your character is thrown together with a male character (or characters), unwillingly at first. These male characters tend to be domineering jackasses, at least on the outside. Over the course of the story, your character is both repulsed and attracted by this bad boy and you strive to understand him and change him by the power of your kindness and love. Your character gets into scrapes and encounters where the man (or men) has to come and save you, often with a scolding. Of course, by the end of the story, you're in love.

Bleurg.

They aren't overly sexual, more like flirting and double entendres.

My questions:

1) Is this a common thing in Japanese anime culture, or the culture of Japan itself? I had a feeling that Japanese culture is much more male-oriented than the U.S.

2) I've told her that I don't find the stories realistic, affirming, or romantic. Should I be concerned about her watching these, or is it a phase that will pass? Should I say anything, and if so, how? Or let it go and let it die off naturally?

I realize this has nothing to do with b-f, or even gayness. I just thought I'd ask :).

[traumaqueen]

I don't generally have an opinion on parenting, however.... I do like a lot of anime. While the show she's watching does sound pretty hideous I wouldn't be so much worried of anime at large. There are plenty of examples of very strong female characters out there in anime. Maybe suggest she explore other series but be advised, there are also the highly sexualized series.

[dykeumentary]

It might be great that she's interested in another culture and there certainly is a rich and varied catalogue of animated series and films for adolescent girls. I am big fan of "Sailor Moon" - there are were great lesbian characters in that. I like anime.
Miazaki and Studio Ghibli are fantastic, and we are lucky to be alive as he created the animations and released the fllms.

There is some pretty creepy stuff out there (hentai) but I bet that's not as interesting as romance right now for her.
You're a good parent and sounds like you two communicate well, so she will find her way.

[candy_coated_bitch]

I'm not an EXPERT on Japanese anime, but I do know some about it. Mainly from people I know who are obsessed LOL. I am answering with that caveat.

The shows you are describing sound pretty obnoxious and sexist. I think maybe the best you could do is explain to her why you think those shows are sexist and not particularly empowering to girls. You sound like you've started doing that already. In my opinion you should absolutely have conversations with her about it and not treat it as a "phase". It may very well be a phase, but she's also getting messages there at the same time, you know? Maybe not make it into a huge, dramatic thing but start a dialogue. Maybe ask her what she enjoys about these shows so you have a better understanding of why she's watching them

And as traumaqueen and dykeumentary have said: there is a HUGE range of stuff out there. From the type of stuff your daughter watches, which may not be terrible positive, to stuff that depicts women in girls in much more positive light, to stuff that I think would be HUGELY inappropriate for someone of her age. It's like anything else I suppose.

I'd say just open up some conversations and see what's going on there for her, as a starting point.

[silkepus]

Anime is such a massive genre really, there is a bit of everything there. I dont understand why you would be concerned?
I read loads of manga comics as a young girl and they were probably a lot "worse" then what your daughter sounds like she's into, violence, gore, nudity etc. But its just a form of entertainment, like other things such as romantic comedies and horror (and anime is full of both). I dont think consuming material like that would change anyone anymore than other forms of entertainment would.

[Femminator]

My youngest is 15 and really into Anime. I feel it's pretty benign actually. It's just a new thing, and I guess I am lucky I also have a 17 yr old son and a 22 yr old daughter that is into it, as well. They go to JFAX(japanese films and art expose) at my eldests University and they do Cosplay(like Trekkies, they dress up as their favorite character. I figure that as long as I keep on eye on it an watch that the concepts are not too sexually charged, there are worse things they could be doing.

My kids are all(even my son) outspoken Feminists and these stories have impacted none of them as far as women's rights or thinking that males should be dominate. They talk quite frequently about how the culture there is male run and is behind the times. I would just make sure to discuss it with your daughter so she understands that the culture their is different and not woman friendly. Kids are actually quite smart and are happy to listen to your point of view, or discuss theirs. Even if they never actually act like they are listening.

[Asari]

1) Is this a common thing in Japanese anime culture, or the culture of Japan itself? I had a feeling that Japanese culture is much more male-oriented than the U.S.


As far as I know it is. Hasn't influenced me that much though.
Anime has a lot more to offer. I was really obsessed with it (ALL of it) for a few years, still into ghibli and cosplay. :)

[QueenofSmirks]

I think it's like anything else - you should monitor the things she is interested and participating in. Don't assume because others were completely obsessed with it when they were teenagers and are now "fine" that your daughter will be. She may interpret the content completely differently, and yes, all stimuli has an impact on us, so yes, comic books, video games, television, our family, even strangers have an impact on us. It's how we interpret all those interactions that matter. So, if you can make your opinion heard with regard to what she is reading/watching/doing, then you should.

[Allison W]

Forgive my thread necromancy, but...

A bit, yes. Not because she's watching animu per se--I think every teenage nerd watches the animu--but because of the drivel she is watching (in particular, it would worry me that she seems like she might be interested in domineering jerkass dudes). You could perhaps try to steer her towards different shows, like the ones dykeumentary mentioned, and see if she takes to them. (I also liked Madoka, but strangely, I never did sit down and pick apart its themes from a feminist perspective; mostly I just watched and enjoyed. It's pretty brutal for a magical girl show, though.)

If you hear the words "Kill La Kill," though, then by all means, it is time to freak the fuck out.

[Gráinne]

This is a good time for an update :).

By her own admission, she enjoys the romantic Otome stories (the ones with choices that affect the outcome of the story) the best. They're the electronic version of corny teenage books when I was coming up. None of these have explicit sex or violence, and while they are sappy and a bit unrealistic (a prince of a European country marries a Japanese commoner?), I have read them and don't see a big harm in them. I have pointed out how a jackass isn't the kind of guy she wants, and she understands that. Many of these guys act like jerks or exaggerations at first, before revealing a softer side and the main conflict of the story.

She has to watch out for stories set in feudal Japan which do tend to get violent and/or explicit. Much of anime she enjoys for the music playlist or the artwork (she's an artist).

So, as long as she's keeping up her grades, doing well, and not favoring anime guys to real people, I don't foresee a big problem. She enjoys it when I watch with her, so that's good :).

Thanks, everyone!