That one question....

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

Ok so I am one of those people that claims to be an open book. That there is no question I won't answer as long as the person asking is ready for the answer. Yet there always seems to be "That one question..." I wasn't expecting, ready for, stumped me because of who asked it, or even made me do an oh no you didn't.

What about that one question you dread getting.

That one question that brought you to tears or laughter.

Hey guys what is the one question that can make you blush?

What about you ladies what is that one question you dread hearing from us or from even a friend?

So how about it what is/was "that one question" you got today or ever...

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

That one question I got earlier today was....What is your idea relationship?

It still has me stumped and it's not the first time I have gotten it so it must be the person that asked me.

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

Haven't you been to sleep yet?

Always get that one on days like today with 30 hrs straight of none and I know my face is like :|

[Sweet Bliss]

Why can't you act normal?

The first time I was asked that I literally felt my heart break into pieces that would never fit together again.


Humm... now I have a 12 inch scar to prove it broke. Imagine that.

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

Why can't you act normal?

The first time I was asked that I literally felt my heart break into pieces that would never fit together again.


Humm... now I have a 12 inch scar to prove it broke. Imagine that.

Yeah I've gotten that one too many times by now. Fortunately I can't recall the first time I was asked it but since I was a child I am sure my reaction was the same. However being the smart ass I am it didn't take me long to come up with the reply of Sure I'll get right on that would that be my normal or your normal that you are wanting me to achieve.

It is a mean question no matter your age. Don't you agree

[Sweet Bliss]

Yeah I've gotten that one too many times by now. Fortunately I can't recall the first time I was asked it but since I was a child I am sure my reaction was the same. However being the smart ass I am it didn't take me long to come up with the reply of Sure I'll get right on that would that be my normal or your normal that you are wanting me to achieve.

It is a mean question no matter your age. Don't you agree

Yes. And at 57 I've reached my limit finally I think. Living with a constant reminder person who never fails at some point to find a raw spot and add salt. It's a great training ground for learning how to let go of old hurts. Haven't quite got the nack of not taking it personal sometimes. Not perfect I know only too well, but I'll never embarrass you, and even your Mom will like me.

[Sweet Bliss]

* Even if your heart's not exactly shattered at the moment, it has no doubt been so at some time in the past. I invite you to feel a wave of sadness about your suffering, then move on to this possibility: that having a broken heart is one of the best things that can happen to you.

Why? Because it strengthens your humility, which makes you smarter. It demonstrates to you that you have a tremendous capacity for deep feelings -- far more than you're normally aware of. It breaks down defense mechanisms that have desensitized you to the world's secret beauty. It may also inspire you to treat other people's hearts with greater care, making it more likely that you'll be able to create intelligent intimacy in the future.

Read this on Rob Brezney's Horoscope page for Scorpio. Gave me a lift today. Made my day actually.

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

A question I always get

Do you have a pic where you are smiling?

Don't like my pic taken but I do have some where I am genuinly smiling

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

Would you (fill in blank)
Or
Could you (fill in the blank)

Both asked at the most inconvenient time, like fourth quarter witj a min left on the clock, and you just know neither are actually questions because the only answer is yes lol


Better yet....
Before you sit down would you....

Always asked right as you're sitting down,,,,lol

Blame the exhausted mind I have right now for this post.....

[pajama]

Interesting thread.

I don't often feel uncomfortable answering questions. So I had to ponder this a bit.

Probably one of the questions asked by my ex many years ago is one of very, very few that made my stomach come up and my heart sink.... "Who is MadamePleasure?". I was a bastard and I had been caught.

But other than that one, I would have to think hard on it. Many questions make me sad, or look at the asker like WTF, some make me laugh. But there doesn't seem to be "that one" (metaphorical one I understand the concept) that I get over and over.

Although little kids do crack me up when they ask "Are you a boy or a girl?". And almost as funny is the parents horrified look, not knowing how I will react.

[Sweet Bliss]

Although not a question, my last attempt to be with someone was slammed down by her statement ...

"That's not what relationships are supposed to look like!" She shouted.

Never did get to the bottom of that conversation. Moral of the story?

Get all those cards on the table before committing to any relationship.

To me it's on par with the ludicrous "that's not how you are supposed to do it" rants. I need to just walk away and never look back. There is no "right way" to do anything. Or my personal favorite "a million reasons why you are not good enough for me." It's usually prefaced by the long endless list of 'musthaves' when describing perfect love match. Avoid those peeps darlings.

I'm Rhoda from the dash site... anyone read my posts on the "Good Morning Honey " thread? It's still getting hundreds of hits. That's a micro shot of what it's like to be loved by me. Must be pretty popular with peeps. But out of all those fans only one person. really got me. One. Someday I'm going to make him grits just like I. promised

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

I have to repost pajama's question of

Are you a boy or girl?

Since it also tickles my funny bone when kids innocently ask and I literally have to force myself from not busting out laughing when I see the parents expression. You just know they were wondering the same thing! I don't get it anymore but when kids ask it I think it's cute.

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

My favorite one to ask when getting to know someone.....

What are two things I don't know about you?

Been known to ask it once a day until the person is unable to answer it.

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

Here's one that always puts me on the spot whether asked in an interview or from someone new you are trying to get to know....

Do you have any questions for me?

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

That one question....I get tjat coms close to making me blush is

How many people have you been with?

Since I am a player from the 80s when being a player was not a bad thing yet I always have to make sure I understand the question by verifying if they want to know how many partners in have had (hopefully lol) or how many people I have been sexual with....

[imperfect_cupcake]

The following questions:

"How many people have you slept with?"
If you are asking me in a certain tone then I know it matters to you and I won't answer it till you tell me "why do you want to know?"
Or
Oodles but your mom was my favourite

"Are those real?"
Referring to my tits.
Various answers I've given:
No, assshole, they're imaginary
Yes, I grew them myself. Turnips. Apparently, turnips do this to you.
No, they aren't real. Wake up, wake up it's time to go to school, your dreaming, time to get up.
No I had them made in Qatar and shipped on the back of a panda. They were sewn on to me by a drunk homeopath. My nipples point in opposite directions.
Yes. I also have 9 nipples, two of which are in my feet.
Fuck off and grow your own you sackless wonder.

"What part of america are you from?"
Answer: I'm not from the United States.
Blank confused look.
I'm from one of the other countries in North America. You know. The biggest one? Sounds like banada/manada/fanada?

"Where is your purse?"
*confusion about being a femme and not carrying a purse*
Standing in front of me asking me a stupid question; go buy me a drink.
Up your arse with your head

[Talon]

What do you want out of a relationship?
What kind of relationship do you want? .....>>*silence*

Or, OMG, have you met so-and-so?....


....Yeah, well, I don't really give a fuck, actually....:blink:

[MrSunshine]

I had to really think about this one.

I think "that one question" would have to be, "are you close with your family, cause, I couldn't date someone that wasn't close with their family".

First, you just said "cause" at which point I'm think you might just be a bit too close to your family and (cause) I think I just heard banjo music.

Second, I am not my family.

Third, what the fuck?

I seriously do not like that question.

[JDeere]

The same one that pajama posted!

Are you a boy or girl?

Shakes my head on this one!

[puddin']

the "boy or girl" question tickles me, as a genderqueer muse.

the one that gets me, though, is "do your parents know". i mean, wtf.

1. my parents are deceased and 2. they were totally supportive o' me whilst hea.

la la la la la la

[Loren_Q]

"Where are you from?"
"What's your nationality?"
"What are you?"

I got these a lot growing up. The 'nationality' one got weird because I'm an American. Here's a sample exchange:

Them: What's your nationality?
Me: I'm an American.
Them: No, I mean, where are you from?
Me: Originally from Arizona but have lived most of my life in California
Them: No, before that.
Me: I wasn't around before that.

[imperfect_cupcake]

"Are you the boy?"

believe it or not a lot of straight people think I'm butch.

them: "you know how in female gay relationships, one is the boy..."
me: "*some* of them, yes..."
them: "are you the boy?"
me: "um. Nnnnnoooooo.... "
*confused look*

It's odd because when I tell that to my gay mates they look at me as if I've just told them I'm actually a beetle. They see hyper feminine girly girl. My class mates see androgynous dyke with boy edges.

funny, hey?

[Gemme]

"Where are you from?"
"What's your nationality?"
"What are you?"

I got these a lot growing up. The 'nationality' one got weird because I'm an American. Here's a sample exchange:

Them: What's your nationality?
Me: I'm an American.
Them: No, I mean, where are you from?
Me: Originally from Arizona but have lived most of my life in California
Them: No, before that.
Me: I wasn't around before that.

I can relate to this somewhat. I get 'Where are you from?" a LOT. It's my eyes. They are more exotic than the average person's. The rest of me is as average as you can get but that one feature throws people and I've had a group stand in front of me and try to determine my origins. Like I wasn't even there.

I've had people feel they have the right to tell me to take off my glasses, so they can get a better look at my eyes and figure me out. That happened at work.

I don't really go to bars anymore because I got tired of being told that I am high. What almond shaped eyes have to do with being high is beyond me (I'm making the assumption it comes from the whole heavy lidded 'bedroom eyes' thing but I can't say for sure what goes through people's minds), but if I avoid the places where shit like that normally occurs I don't have to deal with it.

There are a lot of people in this world that feel the need to disassemble someone's parts, one by one, especially if one of those parts don't mesh with what 'they' feel it should be.

Sorry that people can be such ignorant jackasses.

[Nic]

"Where are you from?"
"What's your nationality?"
"What are you?"

I got these a lot growing up. The 'nationality' one got weird because I'm an American. Here's a sample exchange:

Them: What's your nationality?
Me: I'm an American.
Them: No, I mean, where are you from?
Me: Originally from Arizona but have lived most of my life in California
Them: No, before that.
Me: I wasn't around before that.

Not that long ago someone asked me "what part of Mexico" I was from. I said, "I'm from Panama." He just nodded. Didn't occur to me until later that he had no clue they were different countries. Too busy shaking my head over his assumption that all brown people he hears speaking another language must be from Mexico.

[Greyson]

I have heard this all my life but now some people are not quite as verbal with their ignorance.

I too got a lot of "Where are you from? What is your Nationality? What are you?"

I would reply, I am Mexican American. Then this is the comment that really burned me up, "You don't act like a Mexican." For me that is a loaded comment. What the hell is a Mexican supposed to act like? Maybe I do not fit their stereotype and I am unsure if some even realize how racist that comment is. Another one, "But you know, you're not like them." I think they think they are being flattering when it fact they are showing their ignorance and racism.

[Sweet Bliss]

Just thought I would add to the where are you from issue. Mine is in reverse kinda. A neighbor many years ago laid into me about being whitey, responsible for her peoples attempted genocide. More assuming.... I not so politely told her I was only the second generation to be born in this country... so it's wasn't me or mine. We became close friends after that.

My parents raised me and my brother to believe we are Spanish Basque ... a lifetime of hearing how my father hated the French..... turns out we are French Basque...*snickering

I always knew that . Genetic memory is flawless. (f)

[Greyson]

Just thought I would add to the where are you from issue. Mine is in reverse kinda. A neighbor many years ago laid into me about being whitey, responsible for her peoples attempted genocide. More assuming.... I not so politely told her I was only the second generation to be born in this country... so it's wasn't me or mine. We became close friends after that.

My parents raised me and my brother to believe we are Spanish Basque ... a lifetime of hearing how my father hated the French..... turns out we are French Basque...*snickering

I always knew that . Genetic memory is flawless. (f)


I don't know much about the Basque. I believe they are located in Northern Spain. It is my understanding the Basque want independence from Spain. Do the Basque people speak French, Spanish, both?

[JDeere]

Another question I have been asked that I am, as an adult, learning to deal with.

Are you adopted? My answer is yes, I am adopted but hearing the same mundane stuff spew, from other people's mouth's, really hurts.

[Femmadian]

"How many children do you have?"
"When are you going to have children?"
"Why don't you want children?"
"Don't you think you'll regret it later?"
"Don't you think you're being a bit selfish?"
:|


As I get older, the questions get more intense and accusatory. They come from family, co-workers, acquaintances, prospective (but quickly eliminated) romantic interests, and once-upon-a-time friends. I tend to employ a three-strikes-you're-out rule with people who do this. If you still can't get it (or refuse to accept it) after three separate instances of having it explained to you, then you are the weakest link. Goodbye! :byebye:

A person's reasons for wanting or not wanting, having or not having children are incredibly personal and intimate and not up for debate... and they're not a comment on someone else's decision to do the opposite of what they've chosen (or had chosen for them) for themselves (see: some omnivores' hostility to vegetarians/vegans).

I have no problem with people who have children. Some of my best friends have children (no, really :lol2:)! I just don't want that life for myself. Men don't seem to get this same shaming and pressure when it comes to this choice and so it raises feminist alarm bells for me when someone refuses to respect it.

Interestingly, the most relentless badgering I get (other than from conservative men) tends to be from older women whose children are more or less grown up and/or self-sufficient, middle class women with careers who are able to take time off when their children are young, or women who haven't had children yet but want them. You know who never badgers me about my choice? Young working class women who are in the thick of it all... I see them struggling to find affordable childcare, be present for their children while making sound financial choices, balance the needs and responsibilities of a partner (if they have one), trying to claw their way up in often precarious, low-wage work, all while trying to maintain their sanity and some semblance of self. They don't seem to be under the illusion at that very moment that parenting is an easy gig or something that should be done for the hell of it. In fact, they are often the biggest supporters of, essentially, what is this woman's right to choose. Funny, that.

And you know what? If I ever do get the urge to hear the pitter patter of little feet, there's always:

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/1405167/dog-shoes-o.gif

[Daktari]

"But you are a 'lady' really aren't you?"

"What do you do for a living?"

[Aryon]

For me, it isn't a question ... it is one of several statements.

If I mention that I am a two-time cancer survivor, it is the "Oh, I am so sorry", or the "Wow, you are so brave", or the "you're a fighter" ...
I do not want people to be sorry for me because I had cancer. I would rather that see it through my eyes. Every day is a celebration of life. Yes, I had cancer, but I am alive!
I am not brave. I just feel like I did what anyone else would do. I made a decision that I was not going to let cancer defeat me. That I had a lot of reasons to live.
I am not a fighter. I put up with the treatments as long as I could because that is what I needed to do.

I give thanks for every day. Life is too short to allow drama and negativity to rule your life. I pay it forward for being a survivor by making others aware. If I can make one person go get checked then I have come one step closer to showing how grateful I am to be alive.

[BestButchBoy]

Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?



My affinity for advertising and marketing and my humor all conspired.

[Gaige]

Why don't you let your hair grow out? I get this once every year.

[imperfect_cupcake]

The one I constantly hear around adoption is "have you met your real mom?"
ugh. jesus.
my answer is usually
"actually my mom who raised me is my *real* mom. I think you mean my birth mom"

[JDeere]

The one I constantly hear around adoption is "have you met your real mom?"
ugh. jesus.
my answer is usually
"actually my mom who raised me is my *real* mom. I think you mean my birth mom"

I hear that on a daily basis from certain people who I come across, in online groups as well!

[Sweet Bliss]

I don't know much about the Basque. I believe they are located in Northern Spain. It is my understanding the Basque want independence from Spain. Do the Basque people speak French, Spanish, both?

The Basque people speak Basque regardless of ancestral roots. Like many European people they speak many languages. In the beginning the Basques lived in all of what is now Spain, France and I think Portugal. Over many years they have been pushed back into the Pyrenees Mountain range. Yes we want separation from Spain. Enough is enough. Like bullfights and running of the bulls. The Basque language has no roots in any other language.

Thank you so much for asking. We are famous for exploring, a sea faring people and skilled at raising /herding sheep.... settling in Nevada and New Mexico, and other areas. Nevada holds a famous Basque Festival every year. Lots of fun for the whole family!

Many ports are still recognized by their Basque names. Many in Canada. :rrose:

[Ravenouss]

Not that long ago someone asked me "what part of Mexico" I was from. I said, "I'm from Panama." He just nodded. Didn't occur to me until later that he had no clue they were different countries. Too busy shaking my head over his assumption that all brown people he hears speaking another language must be from Mexico.

Maybe he knew and was embarrassed remembering once there was a war that killed 23 American soldiers and 10,000+ civilians in Panama because the U.S. had decided their friend Noriega wasn't a good friend anymore and had to be replaced.

BUT, I do know what you mean that "nodding." Most time it's the realization they had made an assumption . Often times it's the bewilderment (where is that country???) and sometimes the mild guilty from the knowledge that it is yet another of the countries that were in the wrong place at the wrong time in U.S. foreign policy.