Funny or Silly Lyrics From a Country Song

[A. Spectre]

I'll start:


And I'd like to check you for ticks....


Brad Paisley 2007 "Ticks"

[Kätzchen]

"Please don't let him talk you back
The way he's done before
Why he's had a hundred chances
He don't deserve you anymore"

Buck Owens (He Don't Deserve You Anymore)


<<<<<~~~ my go-to anthem that I sometimes sing to myself (among other good C/W song lyrics)

[charley]

May the bird of paradise fly up your nose
May an elephant caress you with his toes
May your wife be plagued with runners in her hose
May the bird of paradise fly up your nose

:)

[homoe]

Thank God and Greyhound you're gone
I didn't know how much longer I could go on
Watching you take the respect out of me
Watching you make a total wreck out of me
That big diesel motor is a-playing my song
Thank God and Greyhound you're gone

[homoe]

I've been washed down the sink of your conscience
In the theater of your love I lost my part
And now you say you've got me out of your conscience
I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart

[homoe]

Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk
It seems I had to fight my whole life through
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Sue"

[homoe]

Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

[homoe]

All my ex's live in Texas
And Texas is the place I'd dearly love to be
But all my ex's live in Texas
And that's why I hang my hat in Tennessee

[homoe]

Now everyone blamed his old man
For making him mean as a snake
When Amos Moses was a boy
His daddy would use him for alligator bait
Tie a rope around his neck and throw him in the swamp
Alligator bait in the Louisiana bayou

[homoe]

She said, "I'm going out with my girlfriends
Margaritas at the Holiday Inn"
Oh, have mercy, my only thought
Was tequila makes her clothes fall off

[Kätzchen]

"You Cant Go Roller Skating In a Buffalo Herd," -- Roger Miller.


I think I got it wrong earlier and hope this makes up for it, Ace.


:jester:

[homoe]

Hat down, cross town, livin' like a rockstar
Spent a lot of money on my brand new guitar
Baby's got a habit: diamond rings and Fendi sports bras
Ridin' down Rodeo in my Maserati sports car
Got no stress, I've been through all that
I'm like a Marlboro Man so I kick on back
Wish I could roll on back to that old town road
I wanna ride 'til I can't no more

[homoe]

You can tell your mom I moved to Arkansas
You can tell your dog to bite my leg
Or tell your brother Cliff whose fist can tell my lip
He never really liked me anyway

[homoe]

I like beer, it makes me a jolly good fellow
I like beer, it helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow (Makes him feel mellow)
Whiskey's too rough, Champagne costs too much, vodka puts my mouth in gear
This little refrain should help me explain as a matter of fact I like beer

IF I'm not mistaken, Brett Kavanaugh sang this at his confirmation ceremony..

[Bèsame*]

Breaking up with you was like taking my bra off
Feeling free and loose like this T-shirt I got on
Yeah I should be crying, grieving some kind of loss
But it's like taking this pink and lacy, suffocating bra off

[Bèsame*]

You got frisky with your boss at the copy machine
You drunk-dialed your ex-husband, don't remember a thing
Had a fancy dinner at your mother-in-law's
Spilled A1 Sauce on her table cloth, don't sweat it
Tide stick will get it

[Bèsame*]

She put the her in hurt
She put the why in try
She put the S-O-B in sober
She put the hang in hangover (hangover)
She put the ex in sex
She put the low in blow
She put a big F-U in my future
Yeah she's got a way
She's got a way with words
Yeah she's got a way with words

[A. Spectre]

I love you honey
I love your money
But most of all I love your automobile


Patsy Cline I love you honey

[Kätzchen]

I never promised you a rose garden

(Lynn Anderson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PablFo3yaa4)).

:listening:

[Bèsame*]

Sittin' on a bench at West Town Mall
He sat down in his overalls and asked me
You waitin' on a woman
I nodded yeah and said how 'bout you
He said son since nineteen fifty-two I've been
Waitin' on a woman

[FireSignFemme]

All my ex's live in Texas
And Texas is the place I'd dearly love to be
But all my ex's live in Texas
And that's why I hang my hat in Tennessee…

[FireSignFemme]

All my ex's live in Texas
And Texas is the place I'd dearly love to be
But all my ex's live in Texas
And that's why I hang my hat in Tennessee…

H-cR5udlJ5E



I smoke old stogies I have found, short, but not too big around
I'm a man of means by no means, king of the road - Roger Miller

1wNU4fEqxpg

[A. Spectre]

I love my apron, but I ain't your mama


Miranda Lambert

[Ginger]

I might have been born just plain White trash,
but Fancy is my name.

[Kätzchen]

"We Got Paid by Cash" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgMufKRh_MM)

(The Statler Brothers)

[Kätzchen]

"You're the reason why our kids are ugly" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFq6eZBS1iM)

(Loretta Lynn & Conway Twitty)

[Bèsame*]

I cut my bangs with some rusty kitchen scissors

[Bèsame*]

I was born and raised in the boondocks

[A. Spectre]

Bubba shot the jukebox:seeingstars:


Mark Chestnutt

[Bèsame*]

Way down yonder on the Chattahoochee
It gets hotter than a hoochie coochie

[Bèsame*]

She's even kinda crazy ?bout my farmers tan
She's the only one who really
Understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy

[Kätzchen]

I love my apron, but I ain't your mama


Miranda Lambert

I've never heard this song by Miranda Lambert at all, but gosh, this song is going in my cache of Awesome Song Lyrics! True Story: I love my apron, but I ain't your momma (ML).

I wish I knew more country songs with lyrics that seem funny or silly or right on target (LOL or not :jester: ).

I like your thread, Ace.

<<<<<~~ will take a seat and read posts in your forum column. (f)

[Stone-Butch]

https://youtu.be/20RVT_zP2o4

Boogie woogy choo choo train

[Baby_Yoda]

Prop me up beside the jukebox if I die.


Most of the song is full of funny lines

[Bèsame*]

Stewardess is somethin' sexy
Leanin' pourin' coke and whiskey
Told her about my condition
Got a little mile-high flight attention

[JDeere]

In John Deere green, on a hot summer night
He wrote "Billy Bob loves Charlene" in letters three foot high
And the whole town said that he should've used red
But it looked good to Charlene
In John Deere green

John Deere Green by joe diffie

[Bèsame*]

Stewardess is somethin' sexy
Leanin' pourin' coke and whiskey
Told her about my condition
Got a little mile-high flight attention

QrM39m22jH4

[A. Spectre]

Would Jesus Wear a Rolex?


Ray Stevens

[Ginger]

Born in a hurry, always late
Haven't been early since '88
Texas is hot, I can be cold
Grandma cried when I pierced my nose

[FireSignFemme]

Convoy – C.W. Mcall

An' eleven long-haired friends a' Jesus in a chartreuse micra-bus

Sd5ZLJWQmss

[Bèsame*]

I was looking for some tortoise shells
But these were on sale next to the disposable cameras
Tried 'em on and suddenly, it occurred to me
That buying Little Debbies felt a little more glamorous
In the checkout line, don't I look good?
In my pink sunglasses

[Bèsame*]

Oh I was fishing he was wishing
We were kissing I was getting
Madder than a hornet in an old coke can
Getting closer sliding over
Crowding up my casting shoulder
Reaching out and tryna hold my reeling hand
Saying I'm pretty saying he's in love
And how it don't get any better than this

Shut up and fish

[A. Spectre]

I'm gonna hire a wino to decorate our home.



David Frizzell

[Bèsame*]

And if love keeps giving me lemons
I'll just mix 'em in my drink

[Stone-Butch]

https://youtu.be/_LV_I0lLce0

"Vince Gill"

[FireSignFemme]

I don't care if it rains or freezes long as I got my plastic Jesus sitting on the dashboard of my car...

Actually the version I like best says sitting on the dashboard of my trusty old Chevrolet but I couldn't find that one so instead I'm giving you these guys cause I find them entertaining and like their pickin

am0cX9jPdfg

and for those die hard Paul Newman fans in our midst

MsXzWiqCtIw

[Ginger]

v=g7f6HiQ2LuU

People say I've got a drinkin' problem
I've got no problem drinking at all.

[Kätzchen]

Anybody remember the song by Jerry Reed and Willie Nelson?

The Bird (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXednSuS1lw).

:mountie:

[Kätzchen]

Would you have to burn a few magazines before you let your heavenly visitor visit you?

Minnie Pearl

[Stone-Butch]

https://youtu.be/K7oOmatILEE

"I'm Gonna Miss Her"

[Kätzchen]

Well, Billy Joe never had a lick of sense,
Pass the biscuits please.


Ode to Billie Joe (Bobby Gentry)

[Bèsame*]

She fired up my old hot rod
Ran it in the pond
Put sugar in my John Deere
I can’t even mow my lawn
And I got nobody to blame but me

[Bèsame*]

I fell in love in the back of a cop car

[homoe]

Sammy Kershaw,


"Queen of My Double-Wide Trailer"

[Stone-Butch]

https://youtu.be/pKX5YwvJOwM

"Mississippi Squirrel Revival"

[Stone-Butch]

https://youtu.be/G4dWlCHKdio

words and tune for "Fell in love in back of a cop car" (no rudeness intended, just had to hear it and so copied it, hope you don't mind)

[Stone-Butch]

well hell I do apologize no one puts the words to the title. <-- minding my own business and apologizing and won't happen again. Put words or whatever to your song moe LOL....

[Bèsame*]

How much smoke can one stove make
The kids won't eat my charcoal cake
It's more than any man can take
Being Mr. Mom

[Bèsame*]

'Cause you are my Abbot to my Costello
And you are the fruit to my loom
Red solo cup you're more than just plastic
You're more than amazing you're more than fantastic
And believe me that I'm not the least bit sarcastic
When I look at you and say
Red solo cup, you're not just a cup.

[Stone-Butch]

https://youtu.be/PhxW0M_SvGk

[A. Spectre]

*Shakes head REALLY hard at these lyrics, I am just the messenger folks, put down the rotten tomatoes.


Oh it seems to me this whole world's gone crazy
There's too much hate and killin goin on
But when I see the bare chest of a woman
My worrys and my problems are all gone
No one thinks of fightin, when they see a topless girl
Baby if you would show yours too, we could save the world

Show them to me, show them to me
Unclasp your bra and set those puppies free
They'd look a whole lot better without that sweater baby I'm sure you'll agree
If you got, two fun bags,
Show them to me


*This song only gets worse.....yikes!

Rodney Carrington

[Stone-Butch]

https://youtu.be/G64scI8UV34

"Trashy Women" Confederate Railroad

[Kätzchen]

Thought of a couple of lines from two different Country artists, from years ago. I like both sets of lyrics not because they come across as 'funny' or 'silly', but because both Country artists were known for their ability to tell a story via song. Remember Tom T. Hall and Johnny Paycheck? I was never a big fan of either of them, but both of them wrote certain songs that sort of dealt with hypocrisy (as a human condition).



"Buffalo Chips is all it means to me," from Faster Horses (Tom T. Hall).


And...


"That one stained glass window coulda fed that whino's family for years," from The Outlaw's Prayer (Johnny Paycheck).

[Stone-Butch]

https://youtu.be/J41ZSHKOvX0 "Asshole Song"

[A. Spectre]

How much smoke can one stove make? The kids won't eat my charcoal cake.


Lonestar "Mr. Mom"

[homoe]

~~


I don't know if it's so much as funny or silly, BUT

"Take This Job And Shove It" sure fits at times!

[Bèsame*]

https://youtu.be/G4dWlCHKdio

words and tune for "Fell in love in back of a cop car" (no rudeness intended, just had to hear it and so copied it, hope you don't mind)



This is the version by country artist ( one of my favorites) Keith Urban. Which by the way, recently performed a concert at a drive in. Sign of the times I suppose.

aJAe5miXN_Y

[Bèsame*]

My friend named Gin
She's got some friends
I'm talking Brandy, Sherry, and their brother Jim
My friend the Captain
We call him Morgan
He likes to anchor down and hang over 'til mornin'

[Stone-Butch]

https://youtu.be/N1RaLL_g4g0

"The One I Loved Back Then"

[Femmewench]

https://youtu.be/N1RaLL_g4g0

"The One I Loved Back Then"

Thank you! I'd heard the iconic phrase "She was hotter than a two dollar pistol." I had no idea to what song it was attached.

[Stone-Butch]

https://youtu.be/G64scI8UV34

"Trashy Women"

[Stone-Butch]

https://youtu.be/C6aazMNVMv4

"Wild Turkey"

[Stone-Butch]

https://youtu.be/h3PczD39q7o

"Dolly Parton's Hits"

[Bèsame*]

And it ain't murder if I bury you alive

[A. Spectre]

Got it goin’ on Like Donkey Kong And whoo-wee Shut my mouth, slap your grandma There outta be a law Get the Sheriff on the phone Lord have mercy, how’s she even get them britches on That honky tonk badonkadonk (Aww son)


Trace Adkins 2005

*where to start on this one. Aside from pissing off every feminist on the planet, who the hell slaps his grandma? Not only rude, but illegal! I'm leaving the donkey kong thing alone....yikes.

[Stone-Butch]

https://youtu.be/oZrb9VX3sjQ

"I Love you Honey"

"I love you honey, I love your money, but most of all I love your automobile."

[Kätzchen]

What cha see isn't nothing new:
I was country when country wasn't cool (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xjr2uh5OHT4)(Barbara Mandrell).


Did you know that Barbara Mandrell could play the steel guitar at the age of eleven? I once heard her play steel guitar at a rodeo, years ago. She toured back then with Johnny Cash. I was nine years old when I saw her at the rodeo. Our family attended rodeos each year, back when I was really young.

[homoe]

"Almost Home" Craig Morgan


"He had plastic bags wrapped 'round his shoes / He was covered with the evening news"

[Stone-Butch]

https://youtu.be/0nBqR5-kfJA

"MukTuk Annie"

Canada's own Stompin Tom

[Kätzchen]

It was 1982 when Jerry Reed must have made a bazzillion bucks off this song:

“she got the gold mine, I got the shaft” (title of song)


🎶 🎶 🎶

“… well, she got the gold mine (she got the gold mine)
I got the shaft (I got the shaft)
They split it all down the middle
But she got the better half
It all sounds mighty funny
But it hurts too much to laugh
She got the gold mine
I got the shaft”

🥹🥺😢🥺🥺

Link to lyrics: https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=243c640e07014616&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS1024US1024&hl=en-US&sxsrf=AHTn8zrYmNMchM_ri646vLMckq9JiBfehg:174240587 1042&q=she+got+the+goldmine+lyrics&si=APYL9btOMaxI48tKjOYdlPW3RyBplN8gAQzBdTKkB2IKbJ7 kM9T8RmW6e56f40nA_2X21d_srtwLLGqKrxwAB0binbc-wwBJEA6acy7CQq301_5Yz57LJGILTrtPDJMRnDA1jNFSMyQWYK uPG3Eq5PCiPM7q2VYCQ-csFqmhGMqVo9WW3s2jyyc%3D&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjH3P3X15aMAxXLJjQIHdw3CH8QjukCegQIIhAE&ictx=1&biw=375&bih=749&dpr=3#ebo=1

eDPzvRKHIvc?si=GtIUIjnVjjofpc7_