Unwritten rules....

[kittygrrl]

your date needs to know while seeing you?

(I thought) this might be fun..and it's been awhile since we had a new thread..or at least it seems like it

I'd like this to be a safe fun thread to express ideas or thoughts, so no judging please!

Thanks!(f)

[kittygrrl]

i don't share well:fastdraq:

[kittygrrl]

this is quirky...but please don't wear yellow!:blush:

[Soft*Silver]

The only thing that catches me off guard nowadays with people, is that the moment they start talking about haunted houses I start to panic. I have an unusually panic stricken fear about them. If somebody persists wanting to talk about them when I tell them to stop, I will literally get up and walk away regardless of where I am at. Once, I had a client bring this up during a therapy session. She was a teenager and so was being the typical teen and wanted to rattle me with it when I told her to stop. She kept talking about it. I told her I set my boundaries and if she persisted we would end the session. I was getting up to leave when she decided I was serious.
This has come up during dates too. I don’t know what it is about some people who feel like it’s fun to torment someone that they’re dating. Maybe they like seeing somebody vulnerable. And it’s one of my red flags when they don’t stop when I asked them to

[clay]

Fun thread, kitteh!!

Nix that cell phone...OR date ends right then!!

[nina03]

I'm not in the dating scene anymore, but one of my big ones was how people treated waiters or cashiers. If they were rude, and didn't say please and thank you, there was never a second date.

[VintageFemme]

Talking about exes when you're with me. I used to do this in my younger years and in recent years when on a date I've realized just how rude it is and how much it bothers me. If only you could turn back time, eh?

While cell phones are fine I think as it's a necessary evil, please don't have a full on conversation with someone while on a date with me. There won't be a second date for sure.

And, I too agree with not treating wait staff with respect and dignity and tipping well.

And, shoes. I hate to say it, but I will judge you by your shoes.

[kittygrrl]

Fun thread, kitteh!!

Nix that cell phone...OR date ends right then!!

Clay! Such a good one!:hangloose:

[kittygrrl]

The only thing that catches me off guard nowadays with people, is that the moment they start talking about haunted houses ...

my Achilles heel ..clowns

[kittygrrl]

must like coffee!

[clay]

Enjoy camping adventures

[Soft*Silver]

Enjoy camping adventures

Omg…no camping!! Farming yes. Camping no. Why would anyone want to intentionally rough it for pleasure instead of work???!!!!

[Mel C.]

Omg…no camping!! Farming yes. Camping no. Why would anyone want to intentionally rough it for pleasure instead of work???!!!!

Agreed. Roughing it means no room service.

[kittygrrl]

https://media.istockphoto.com/photos/close-up-of-peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich-on-white-bread-picture-id172281937?b=1&k=20&m=172281937&s=170667a&w=0&h=XZKJttrZ85C-xX7_ZnvAU_7N5O55m4ZvQRVfX36IlME=doesn't have to love peanut butter & jelly but will eat it with a smile

[kittygrrl]

Enjoy camping adventures:hangloose:

Camping?:sunglass:...it's my jam:

[clay]

spontaneity is a plus

[kittygrrl]

loves cats

[clay]

enjoys cooking together

[Bèsame*]

Please don't be a smoker of cigarettes. And by all means don't try to hide it. It's way to obvious.

[Stone-Butch]

When out to dinner pay attention to who you are with. Do not cruise the room looking to see who is there or make passes at the waitress. Both are rude and thoughtless. (you should be dumped)

[kittygrrl]

enjoys cooking together

omygosh clay...i love it:heartbeat: my femme heart beats a little quicker watching hym use a knife well ..or not

[kittygrrl]

makes me relax...smile

[kittygrrl]

loves long wavy hair:tea:

[clay]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE to give my lady a mani/pedi, paint her nails, & BRUSH BRUSH BRUSH her long hair!

[clay]

A plus (to me) is giving me a foot massage!

[kittygrrl]

politically shrewd, passionate, liberal

[VintageFemme]

If you're more interested in telling me about you than learning about me, that's pretty much a deal breaker. Other deal breakers aka unwritten rules are: cats, country music, messiness, arrogance (not to be confused with assertiveness which is very welcomed), bigotry, politically conservative, and those who have a need to control everything. Boohiss.

[homoe]

~~
If we have made plans don't cancel! I don't handle disappointment well.

[Stone-Butch]

If I am not to pick you up please do not be late.

[FireSignFemme]

Telling me all about it - how the wrong way was the way your mother did it way back when. When we're first getting to know each other.

[kittygrrl]

~~
If we have made plans don't cancel! I don't handle disappointment well.

h.....me too...although, i can think of a few i wish had:seeingstars:

[clay]

old fashioned kind of romance

[clay]

impromptu picnics, beach, kites

NO fancy restaurants for me! Rather make a picnic basket, get blanket, & watch the sunset

[kittygrrl]

love rain (a +)

[Stone-Butch]

Give little tokens of "thinking of you" especially when it is not an occasion.

[clay]

receiving old fashioned love letters

[clay]

wants a daddi

[Bèsame*]

dancing in the dark

[clay]

star gazing in the wee hours

[kittygrrl]

loves dessert

[Bèsame*]

https://www.kawartha411.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Screen-Shot-2019-03-04-at-9.34.46-AM.pngwith coffee and doughnuts

[Stone-Butch]

LOL love it.

Stop at any flea markets or lawn sales she wants during your drive without frowning.

[kittygrrl]

believes in magic

[clay]

wood nymphs...tree sprites....the forest...damp & cool, mossy floors......oh yes!!

[Bèsame*]

play with my hair

[Stone-Butch]

Never ask a femme out to dinner and go dutch (omg). They go through trouble to look nice for you with hair and makeup and picking out just the proper clothes and all we do is take our shower and jump into some clean suitable clothes. We should always pay as we get to enjoy their company and appreciate that they said yes.

[kittygrrl]

discreet....

[Stone-Butch]

Honesty and trust.

[clay]

believe in yourself

[Reach *BANNED*]

Have an adventurous heart - because you never know what you might miss out on.

[kittygrrl]

https://www.prints-online.com/p/164/king-hearts-card-620228.jpg.webpOne of a Kind....

[kittygrrl]

old school

[Stone-Butch]

Good on you Kitty. I love it. ahhhh I live it LOL

[kittygrrl]

studies the mysterieshttps://media.istockphoto.com/photos/rendered-galaxy-space-scene-with-planets-picture-id1298997952?b=1&k=20&m=1298997952&s=170667a&w=0&h=DsD2R0U-Z6RZOAtoVH1pPVDvlAFMEgaZtqX-Y936zTo=of the cosmos

[Bèsame*]

listening skills, always evolving

[clay]

being respectful of others...

[Reach *BANNED*]

Being able to communicate and share your thoughts and feelings.

[kittygrrl]

if she/they wears a watch with a leather band...i don't know why ..but i love the vibe

[Reach *BANNED*]

Your actions need to match your words and vice versa.

[Stone-Butch]

Never lead a woman on just to get what you want from her.

[cathexis]

Especially if you asked her out...

Open all car doors, carry whatever she needs you to, and walk curbside anytime you're on a sidewalk.

If you really want to impress her, you could order for her at the restaurant, if she smokes, light her cigarette, etc.

Buy her some flowers or a corsage if you take her out for the first time, to a dance, or on a holiday.

[kittygrrl]

enjoys poetry

[Jedi]

Not just talk about the fluff stuff but have serious heart to hearts

[clay]

kindness to others

[nina03]

Must love animals. I currently have three dogs, two cats, and three goats. Fortunately Max loves them too, but if I somehow ended up single again, I wouldn't be able to date someone who didn't want to live with pets.

[kittygrrl]

for a date-show up a little early

[kittygrrl]

(before your date)invest a little time getting to know her through text or im...shell appreciate that she is on your mind:rrose:

[Stone-Butch]

Don't talk about your hard day or bad news, keep it upbeat. After all , you can only make one first impression. Show her you are happy she is out with you.

[kittygrrl]

hot & tender

[kittygrrl]

in a tense situation does hy think before she/hy speaks

[kittygrrl]

..... nice

[Stone-Butch]

No means No !

[MaddieRobbie]

It was Anthony Bourdain who said "If someone spends the night with you at your home, it's common courtesy to know how to prepare them a decent omelet."

[AlexF]

Interested and aware of the world outside their door/borders

This is a great thread.

[kittygrrl]

fearless...

[kittygrrl]

new adventure..trying something neither of us have experienced but can mutually appreciate

[Bèsame*]

asking me what kind of coffee to have on hand. And what kind I want in it.

[AlexF]

consistency...

[Stone-Butch]

Never assume.

[Bèsame*]

Please keep honesty transparent, don't candy coat it.

[Gemme]

Please keep honesty transparent, don't candy coat it.

I prefer a brutal truth over a sweet lie any day. Give me the truth; be it good, bad or just plain ugly.

[kittygrrl]

don't keep me guessing

[kittygrrl]

hold my hand

[clay]

make me belly laugh....a lot

[kittygrrl]

natural swag

[Gemme]

Energy is everything.

[clay]

a depth of stillness to drink you all in......

[kittygrrl]

doesn't compare/measure you

you're enough

[Stone-Butch]

You want to know things for sure but do not make the person feel that they are at Maxies at midnight answering your inquisition,

[kittygrrl]

love language synergy....anything else.....disaster

[kittygrrl]

self-aware

[kittygrrl]

enjoy pasta

[kittygrrl]

excited to xmas/yule shopping together
https://media.istockphoto.com/id/614973958/nl/vector/christmas-gifts-and-shopping-bags.jpg?s=612x612&w=0&k=20&c=HzGrMLHxoNQIY_g4nducYKug4Y4tBGQhqbCK8tIyhGc=w cocoahttps://media.self.com/photos/57d8b9ddd3276fe232947620/master/pass/hot-chocolate-600.jpg & sconeshttps://bakerbynature.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Cranberry-Orange-Scones-123456-1-of-1.jpg!

[FireSignFemme]

Doesn't mock those who are less fortunate.

If you're blessed appreciate it, don't berate with it. FSF

[Bèsame*]

like football and know more about it than I do. I have questions, lol

[MaddieRobbie]

Everyone should have at least one decent meal they can prepare, if needed. It could be breakfast, it could be dinner...

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Everyone should have at least one decent meal they can prepare, if needed. It could be breakfast, it could be dinner...

Once upon a time (the 1970s or thereabouts) the common wisdom was to always keep rice and a can or two of Campbell's Cream of Shrimp soup in the pantry. (Heat the soup without adding water, pour it over the rice.)

Once upon an earlier time, the common wisdom was to always keep a ham in your refrigerator or pantry.

For thread compliance:
Know how to cook, or if you don't know how to cook, don't pretend - and admit it. And for Goddess' sake, if you can't cook don't get all Iron Chef in the kitchen and start trying to "throw something together".

[FireSignFemme]

When it comes to sexual orientation you don't have to try and figure out how to break it to me gently. Just out with it already okay.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Don't speculate on whether our pets will get along together, and share your method of sharing refrigerator and pantry space, on a first date like you're planning to pull up to my house with a U-Haul tomorrow.

[kittygrrl]

be kind to yourself

[kittygrrl]

don't expect perfection:tea:

[kittygrrl]

we share a love for kittens, hearth fires, fall, brownies

[FireSignFemme]

Folds it, hangs it, nicely, neatly, of their own initiative.

[Stone-Butch]

Before you profess your feelings for someone new, make sure your past someone is totally out of your system.

[kittygrrl]

say what you mean, and mean what you say

[kittygrrl]

Must love Sourdough

[Gayandgray]

MUST love animals!!!!!!!!!

[kittygrrl]

must love cocoa

[kittygrrl]

must love rain &
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Cello

[kittygrrl]

your undivided attention

[Soft*Silver]

Must indulge my passion for Christmas and allow me to decorate and bake and buy and give to my hearts content

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Must understand that I have short term memory loss and what that means - I will ask the same questions multiple times, I will forget whole conversations, texting is better than talking because then it's written down - and not get frustrated.

[Blade]

say what you mean, and mean what you say

Absolutely 💯

[easygoingfemme]

Don't smother me.

[kittygrrl]

must love autumn & everything pumpkin

https://food.fnr.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/food/fullset/2019/9/9/0/FNK_the-best-pumpkin-bread_H.jpg.rend.hgtvcom.1280.1280.suffix/1568135328378.webp

[kittygrrl]

must enjoy late night chocolate ice cream

[kittygrrl]

must love pie

[GeorgiaMa'am]

must love Disney World

[kittygrrl]

please keep the 'negative nelly' to a minimum!

[Stone-Butch]

When in doubt, find out. Sure is a good way to avoid assume.

[kittygrrl]

liberal, honorable, intelligence beyond my own, good with money, kind, my unbreakable rule

[Gráinne]

Must understand that I have short term memory loss and what that means - I will ask the same questions multiple times, I will forget whole conversations, texting is better than talking because then it's written down - and not get frustrated.

I have the same rule, due to my own memory issues. If you don't have my full attention, eye contact, acknowledgement that I understood you-the conversation might as well be gone with the wind. So anything vital, send a text.

Whoever invented texting created a miracle for those of us with the grand ability to forget conversations from yesterday, but can remember events clearly from fifty years ago.

[easygoingfemme]

Don't vote for greedy narcissistic rapists.

[Stone-Butch]

Be honest and up front from the get go. You tell it like it is you will feel good within yourself. Maybe you won't be believed but you yourself know and that is what is important. Show respect for others and they will give thought to giving you some. I remember reading in Hamlet, "to thine own self be true and it must follow as the night the day thou then canst be false to any man." I believe that. If you are truthful you do not need a good memory.

[kittygrrl]

must love peas

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Must love all animals, even the ones we get rid of out of necessity (like fire ants), even the ones we must appreciate with much gratitude even as we use them for our own benefit (like cows), and especially the ones we welcome into our family (like dogs).

[kittygrrl]

tell me the truth, even if it hurts me

[easygoingfemme]

Don't ask me to pay for what someone else did to you.

[kittygrrl]

ahttps://static.vecteezy.com/system/resources/thumbnails/046/675/961/small_2x/delicate-white-rose-with-dew-drops-photo.jpeg with a thoughtful note

[kittygrrl]

don't make excuses, own it