Growing older

[Soft*Silver]

I would like people to comment about their process of growing older, whether it be becoming elderly, or moving from youth to adulthood or adulthood to middle age.
I’m 65, soon to be 66 and while I really embrace this crone stage, I find myself pondering how difficult things can be because of my age. Little things like being able to open up canned goods. Big things like using a Rototiller. Realizing that my memory isn’t is solid as it used to be. I horrifyingly discovered that I am, THE crotchety old lady that chases kids out of her yard in the neighborhood! Lol.
There’s things that I yearn to still do. There’s things I am so so happy that I did back in the day, even if I can’t do them again now. I’m pissed with all the medical tests they put me through . And I hate changing the way I eat. I always had a sweet tooth but now I’m pre-diabetic. I need to really concentrate on what foods I eat. I am so grateful that I am in a loving relationship with my husband. And at this point I’m far enough away from all my old relationships to realize the value of them, and feel grateful for the lessons I learned from them. Maybe that’s why this last relationship is working so well…

[Stone-Butch]

We are all going to do it, like it or not. The worst part I find that once I retired and was on my own then the old me started to move in. I lost interest in a lot of things (not that lol) and started to bore me. I really don't like going to special places or holidays or even dinner, alone. Many people your age are interested in younger women to help them feel younger. I found that younger people had very little in common with my life style. Yes we both like going dancing but there is a huge difference in style and music preferences. I use to love to party till well into morning but not now. I use to drink and smoke and dance till dawn, not now. It is nice to chat and become somewhat acquainted from a distance but the problem is, once you meet it may be someone totally different than who you had envisioned through conversation.
If you find you have a good deal in common it is nice to know the differences you have also so that you can make an effort to enhance your relationship (if it comes to that). Do things your new partner or even friend enjoys even if you have never done so before. Be willing to overlook small things that annoy you (they will.) If possible exchange pictures, speak on the phone as it is nice to hear a voice. I have used Skype in the past to talk to the little one so I like to use it in its three steps to get to know the other person. You can message and read and answer right away, then you can talk without the phone and then you can see each other and know if this is the person you expected her to be from your conversations. I do not do Uhaul, ever. I like to know a little before I even think of making friends.
Anyway are you sorry I am spouting off LOL. Well I am done and ty for letting this old butch say her piece.

[Blade]

Since I don't have a computer and use my phone for posting, I will likely make several short posts.

Stamina, I have none it is gone. I do more piddling that actual get er done when doing my chores.

I live way out in the country so I dint worry about kids in my yard, but it infuriates me to have the neighbors dogs in my yard or running my livestock. Keep in mind I am 100 yards off the road and my property is fenced.

I don't really like going places alone anymore. Probably from PTSD from falling in 2016 while on vacation. Had I been alone then I'd been screwed.

I enjoy eating out but crying kidd or kids playing on their computers with the sound up, well let's just say I loose my patience pretty quickly with parents who allow this. Parents and kids is a whole other conversation of behaviors I don't tolerate well anymore.

Yes I am one of those who almost daily now will say...at the risk of sounding like Mom or Nannie or Pa...you get the idea. These kids these days...when I was 20...

[Soft*Silver]

Since I don't have a computer and use my phone for posting, I will likely make several short posts.

Stamina, I have none it is gone. I do more piddling that actual get er done when doing my chores.

I live way out in the country so I dint worry about kids in my yard, but it infuriates me to have the neighbors dogs in my yard or running my livestock. Keep in mind I am 100 yards off the road and my property is fenced.

……

Yes I am one of those who almost daily now will say...at the risk of sounding like Mom or Nannie or Pa...you get the idea. These kids these days...when I was 20...

I HATED when dogs would come onto my farm! And they always were pets of former city dwellers who moved to the country and thought it was cool to let the dogs run loose.

Also, I too am sounding like my parents lately, when I’m talking to other people’s kids! (I am very grateful that my grandchildren are well behaved and really nice human beings.) I have seen such brats out there. No discipline. True sense of entitlement even on the very youngest! So that’s when old ageisms creep out of my mouth! I gotta give them some wisdom! Lol.

[Soft*Silver]

Many people your age are interested in younger women to help them feel younger. I found that younger people had very little in common with my life style.

Oh my God dating younger women used to make me feel old! I remember back in my 50s I was dating somebody that was 20 years plus younger than me. She didn’t have a clue who the Beatles were! I wanted somebody that could have a conversation with me on shared experiences. They could be totally different than mine, but they had to be close to the same realm of reality.
I’ve also come to the conclusion that should anything happened to my husband, I will not look for another living relationship. I am very independent now and I don’t think that I could share my space with anyone else but him. I would love to continue to go on dinner date soon go watch movies together etc. but I’m done with the concept of romantic partners until I die. Part of the reason is that I am now like a case manager for the elderly and disabled. I love seeing these people be very independent and living on their own, but sharing company and time with each other . Some of them are engaged and physical closeness as well and some don’t care. And the magic of that age, 70s and beyond, is all about genuine enjoyment. It seems like there’s no jealousy. They don’t question the other persons, attention, or loyalty. They don’t demand monogamy in their companionships. Life is good for them and I kind of think if anything should happen between my husband and I or if he passes first, but I think life will be for me to.

[deb0670]

I have been " feeling my age" more lately than ever before.
There are times i feel young(ish), then i look at how old my kids and grandkids are. My oldest grandkid will be 11 on Jan 2nd. My kids are 35,33,and 26. Yes, I was young when i had them. 2 weeks before i turned 17, two months before i turned 19 and had my youngest at 26..
i am now 52.

I went to church today with my Mom, first time stepping into a church building in about 15 yrs, i was looking around at all the people( mostly elderly or grey(ish) and realized.. I fit in more with them than with the younger crowd .
I remember how agile i used to be, how i was able to do bunches of things that now i am like. yeah no.

I guess i don't have a real direct flow with this post.. just.. old thoughts i reckon

[GeorgiaMa'am]

I remember how agile i used to be, how i was able to do bunches of things that now i am like. yeah no.



This is what gets to me. I don't think about being old(er) all the time, but then some perfectly normal thing will come up, like changing a light bulb in the ceiling fixture, and I start to reconsider - "Maybe I should get someone else to do that? What if I lose my balance?"

(I'm offering a prize for the best answer: "Q: How many old(er) lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?" PM me your answers, and I'll pick one. I'm serious, I will send someone a (small) prize. And I'll post the winner and their answer here.)

I have dreams about running . . . running everywhere, down a city street, on a country road, around the aisles of a grocery store. I'll wake up and think, "Wow, that felt good. I should do that." And then I'll remember that I can't even walk somewhere without a cane, and sitting down to take breaks after short distances, and just getting out of bed is going to hurt like the dickens in several different places.

[Blade]

I HATED when dogs would come onto my farm! And they always were pets of former city dwellers who moved to the country and thought it was cool to let the dogs run loose.

Also, I too am sounding like my parents lately, when I’m talking to other people’s kids! (I am very grateful that my grandchildren are well behaved and really nice human beings.) I have seen such brats out there. No discipline. True sense of entitlement even on the very youngest! So that’s when old ageisms creep out of my mouth! I gotta give them some wisdom! Lol.

Yes I use to hear this a lot. "Part of the reason we moved to the country is so we could let the dogs run". Seriously do ya think your country neighbors want your dog on their property? Do ya think a dog's chances are any better in the country of not getting hit by a car or attacked by a coyote or shot by someone protecting their livestock? I love animals so much more than people these days.

[Soft*Silver]

I have dreams about running . . . running everywhere, down a city street, on a country road, around the aisles of a grocery store. I'll wake up and think, "Wow, that felt good. I should do that." And then I'll remember that I can't even walk somewhere without a cane, and sitting down to take breaks after short distances, and just getting out of bed is going to hurt like the dickens in several different places.omg, I thought I was the only one who had dreams like that! Mine is always about riding horses. Then he was younger. I used to ride from sun up to sundown. Often bareback. In my dreams I’m doing it again. When I wake up, I think God I wish I could ride a horse again… And then I roll over and the cramping if my body starts and I lift myself gingerly out of bed. I still do a hell of a lot for the age I am in the condition I am in. But I’m so slow now…

[Soft*Silver]

was looking around at all the people( mostly elderly or grey(ish) and realized.. I fit in more with them than with the younger crowd .
I remember how agile i used to be, how i was able to do bunches of things that now i am like. yeah no.

I guess i don't have a real direct flow with this post.. just.. old thoughts i reckon

I follow someone on TikTok that does aging of actors and famous people. I am shocked that people I knew in the 80s and 90s are old! The nice thing, though is that I’m not as hard on myself, regarding aging, now that I see how others have aged over the years

[ksrainbow]

I did not connect with growing older until:

when my hair dresser retired
when my plumber retired
when my financial advisor retired
when my physician retired
when my therapist retired
All of the above including myself, are growing older.

May we all give gratitude and appreciation for enjoying our journey with grace!

Ks-

[deb0670]

I follow someone on TikTok that does aging of actors and famous people. I am shocked that people I knew in the 80s and 90s are old! The nice thing, though is that IÂ’m not as hard on myself, regarding aging, now that I see how others have aged over the years


It is wild to me to look around and see so many people i grew up with look older than i think they should be.
In my mind, i am about 30 ish... active, etc... yeah no..

[GeorgiaMa'am]

It is wild to me to look around and see so many people i grew up with look older than i think they should be.

This is a scary thought, now that you mention it. One of the symptoms of my mother's dementia is that she can't remember people's names sometimes or who they are. She was trying to tell me what that is like, and it sounds so much like what you describe. She told me that she knew her sister was her sister (for example), but her sister did not look to her like she ought to. In my mother's mind, her sister ought to look much younger, so when my mother looked at her sister now, she didn't recognize her.

Of course, I'm not saying you have dementia. I'm just saying it's weird how our minds work.

[Gemme]

I'm restarting Project Runway and it's blowing my mind how much of a baby Heidi is and Tim too. lol

Also, I found myself envying a woman at my salon today. Her hair is a lovely muted white with the very ends darker, like they have been dipped in ink. I wish my hair would wind up like that but it's not greying evenly (I have white patches on one side and the "normal" salt and pepper elsewhere) and I actually felt a wee bit of something because I knew my hair would not look like hers at any point in my life (naturally, anyway).

Even though dying one's hair gray has been popular in recent years with kids, I never had that thought when I was young.

Also, the time frame from when my bladder signals 'incoming' and the time that I have to get to the facilities has reduced quite a bit. I have had a few near misses this year.

:blink:

[Stone-Butch]

My hair started turning white at the age of 30 or so. My mom said her hair turned around the age of 28 but went grey. My dads hair was pure white as he got older. I dyed mine for many years and by the time I got to be 50 I stopped and it is now pure white. I left it white as it looked like my dads. I like to see others pay to get what I have now LOL. With my dark brown eyes I think it looks pretty good LOL.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

My hair started turning white at the age of 30 or so. My mom said her hair turned around the age of 28 but went grey. My dads hair was pure white as he got older. I dyed mine for many years and by the time I got to be 50 I stopped and it is now pure white. I left it white as it looked like my dads. I like to see others pay to get what I have now LOL. With my dark brown eyes I think it looks pretty good LOL.

I hope mine turns white instead of gray. I would like that kind of silvery white that almost sparkles, but unfortunately I think only blondes get that.

[Bèsame*]

realizing that at our age we have stories of our past that come to light. I'm surprised at what I can recall and how just the little things that can bring a memory to light. But it's not only me. It's taking the time to listen to others' stories as well.

https://leomvit.com/assets/images/memories.jpg

[theoddz]

I'll be turning 62 at the end of this month. I've been noticing some subtle (and not so subtle) changes in my mind and body.

I've had bad, horrible knees for ages now.....9 surgeries, including 2 total joint replacements on each knee, amongst 4 others (arthroscopics and a major reconstruction, back in 1989). On top of this, I am into the beginning stages of Diabetes II. I was told to expect this, since I developed an endocrine disorder while on active duty in the USMC, back in the late 70's/early 80's. The military/VA now consider me to be 100%+ service connected for this problem, in itself. The diabetes is considered secondary to all of this, in addition to hypothyroidism.

So, as the years pass, my body is slowly, but surely, breaking down. I walk with a cane nowdays and take a handful of pills each day to try to control the symptoms of the problems I was warned about getting, earlier in my life. The Testosterone I inject, every 2 weeks, has caused me to lose most of the hair on top of my head (male patterned baldness), though I totally don't lack for hair everywhere else!!! I have gray temples now, and most of the hair on my chin (I have a full beard) is now gray. I never ask, "What next??", because, as providence would have it, the fates would send more maladies to visit upon me, just for asking. :|

Someone once said, "Never regret growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.". I never heard anyone tell anyone else to "Never regret getting old AND SICK", as that doesn't really seem to be the object of the game. Does it?? :thinking:

Best wishes for all of us, for good health and peace. :winky:

~Theo~ :bouquet:

[CherylNYC]

Luckily for me I'm physically very fit and athletic. Even though I'm 60 my younger co-workers on my very physically demanding jobs are unable to keep up with me. It's my memory that isn't, in the words of a supportive friend, airtight. I forget important conversations, the names of people who I've known for decades, tasks I haven't written down... pretty much everything. This afternoon I dressed up and rushed out of my house to attend the pre-party, the party, and then the concert I had carefully lined up on my calendar. Well, it turns out all that is happening tomorrow, not today. I couldn't figure out why no one was answering the door. I called a friend/co-worker who should have been at the pre-party and she set me straight. I'm beginning to think I should refrain from telling my other co-workers about this, and that I should cease mentioning my memory lapses which I currently laugh about openly. The friend I called today to let me into the party which is happening tomorrow is eight years my senior. She reassured me conspiratorially that she wouldn't tell anyone that I had mixed up the days. Hrrmmmm. Friends tell you that when they think you've just done something they think would be humiliating.

[ksrainbow]

I did not connect with growing older until:

when my hair dresser retired
when my plumber retired
when my financial advisor retired
when my physician retired
when my therapist retired
All of the above including myself, are growing older.

May we all give gratitude and appreciation for enjoying our journey with grace!

Ks-

my new hair dresser: Is awesome-compliments on my hair style, its overall health and the *care* I give it!

my plumber: Thankful I have not had to find another one.

my physician: My new PA who has been following my rotator cuff injury-she ROCKS!

my financial advisor: Replaced by his daughter *All in the Family*works for me!

my therapist: Medicare suggested a new provider-appt next Monday!

Overall-Getting older is less stressful in hindsight than it was when I started this journey. Enjoying this trek better than I anticipated.

Ks-

[GeorgiaMa'am]

my hair dresser: Is the same one I have had for 30-something years. We're the same age, so I'm hoping he outlasts me. He makes me gorgeous.

my plumber: Still searching for The One.

my physician: I've been with her for about 20 years and she is awesome.
She's younger than me, so I've got high hopes.

my financial advisor: Younger than me by a good 10 years. He'll do.

my therapist: He's rapidly approaching retirement age. I don't know what I'm going to do without him - except hope he has someone he can refer me to.

Overall: I didn't expect to get this sick, this young. On the other hand, I didn't expect to get this old. I always vaguely suspected I would do something stupid that would end in my demise at a fairly early age. Now I'm older and wiser, and will likely die of some illness. I just hope it isn't awful.

[Stone-Butch]

Growing older certainly is no fun. If you don't fall ill with something life threatening then falling and getting seriously injured is next on the agenda. Last but not least you are in an accident and that my friends is no fun. A moving truck took the passenger side of my van almost totally off while I was parked and he decieded to back up on a one way hill. I myself was not in the van, I was behind it unloading things. Well I will say no more . I have been home recouping since the ambulance took me at the end of May and am getting daily massage and leg exercises done at home with a therapist four days a week. I am hoping my back improves but it does not seem likely.
SO old age is hard to take and hard to look after so if you are young, do it. Look after YOU. Enjoy life as you are able and as my dear sweee mother use to say, If you have a chance to sit it out or dance DANCE. She loved that song.

[Blade]

One of the things I have a hurdle with as I have aged, especially the last few years is inability to or needing help doing things that were once simple. I think some of this is due to my knee situation at this point.

Things I had planned to do in retirement I can no longer do or have trouble doing. I can't bend or stoop for periods of time. I can't get on the floor or ground. I fell last Saturday so I found out I can get up off the ground. I had planned to supplement my income working on small engines and doing a little woodworking and some cheap yard care for the elderly.

So unless some things change for me physically I will have to devise a new plan onwhat to do for fun as I age. But it's all good, I'll figure it out

[Chancie]

I was glad to see this thread pop up this morning.

In June 2022, I retired from teaching math and robotics at a public high school. My poor old body got too ache-y, and the long term social emotional effects of Covid made my job too hard.

I have bad arthritis in my feet, and I don’t know what is wrong with my knees, but I’ve been taking good care of my Type II diabetes by tracking my food, checking my blood glucose level, and going to water aerobics a few times a week.

I never really cared about looking older, but lately, I feel like I need to use more moisturizer. I always had my hair colored, but I’m wearing more makeup.

[Soft*Silver]

I just said today that 2023 has been teaching me to accept my new normal. The aging process has brought about changes that I stubbornly try to ignore or deny. But this year I have slowly begun to conform to them.
My sister is eight years old older than I am, but she has aged harder. She falls often and painfully. I have fallen a few times, but only because I was active doing things like chasing chickens and got my legs tangled up in the chick fence. She falls Standing at the refrigerator. I think it might be harder on me to watch her age than it is to watch me age…

I have really pretty white curly hair now. I keep it long but wrapped up in a bun. I use less make up now, and lighter colors. I just bought my first container of wrinkle cream! And I’m more attentive to my skin care process. I’ve noticed that I have dryer skin than ever before in my life.

I actually think I am beautiful now. I never thought much of my looks except that I was plain or average looking. But as I aged, I have come into my Beauty.


Sometimes when I’m shopping, I’ll see blouse or a sweater that I think is adorable and then I realize that it’s too young of a fashion for me. Is there such a thing? Well personally for me there is.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

My skin has definitely gotten dryer. For the skin on my face, I can use Retin-A and Aveeno moisturizer - but, I have gotten too lazy to do so. For the skin on my feet and hands, I think this dryness may be due to chemo, because I have numbness in both areas. I use Curel for these areas, but nothing really seems to help. I'm considering trying Vaseline nightly.

I have changed my makeup over time as I grew older, to both keep up with fashion and to adjust to my skin changes. I think what I'm doing is okay for now, but honestly, I hardly ever wear makeup any more.

As far as clothing goes, there are some styles that are too young for me, but not really many. Mostly, there are clothes that are not complementary for my body type, and I have always had that problem.

My worst aging problem is my arthritis, which I have in my lower back and my knees. Voltaren (diclofenac 1%) helps, but not enough to help me get up and down the stairs daily. I have to carefully plan when I'm going to leave the house, and I need a helper at home almost all the time.

[clay]

My skin has definitely gotten dryer. For the skin on my face, I can use Retin-A and Aveeno moisturizer - but, I have gotten too lazy to do so. For the skin on my feet and hands, I think this dryness may be due to chemo, because I have numbness in both areas. I use Curel for these areas, but nothing really seems to help. I'm considering trying Vaseline nightly.

Hey GM......my nurse practitioner told me to use Aquaphor for my old skin...lol. It IS expensive....$22 a bottle but maybe you can try that!

[Stone-Butch]

As years go by I try less and less to understand young people.

[Mel C.]

Hey GM......my nurse practitioner told me to use Aquaphor for my old skin...lol. It IS expensive....$22 a bottle but maybe you can try that!

My podiatrist pointed out my dry skin on feet and recommended Aquaphor as well.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

I saw the kidney doctor today to see if I could get an explanation for why I've had these two stays in the hospital with my creatinine levels shooting sky high. Turns out I probably have type 4 kidney disease, or maybe type 3, which is about 2 steps away from dialysis. So, no more NSAIDs, lower salt and less protein. I can have Tylenol for pain, and Imitrex for migraines, and topical Voltaren for my knees and that's it. I won't be doing much walking or leaving the house, as far as I can see. If I had known all those years of daily ibuprofen and BC powders would lead to this, I might have taken it easier. But what else could I have done? Not go to work? Not live my life? Guess I'll be paying for that now.

[Femmewench]

I saw the kidney doctor today... I won't be doing much walking or leaving the house, as far as I can see.

I've known for a long time that without resolution of bilateral knee and hip pain for my spouse that a mobility scooter is in our future. There are now many types of car carriers for scooters. I don't know if this is an option; if so it can help you maintain your independence outside your home and inside as well depending on the device. The cost of the scooters at least has gone down significantly.

[Blade]

I saw the kidney doctor today to see if I could get an explanation for why I've had these two stays in the hospital with my creatinine levels shooting sky high. Turns out I probably have type 4 kidney disease, or maybe type 3, which is about 2 steps away from dialysis. So, no more NSAIDs, lower salt and less protein. I can have Tylenol for pain, and Imitrex for migraines, and topical Voltaren for my knees and that's it. I won't be doing much walking or leaving the house, as far as I can see. If I had known all those years of daily ibuprofen and BC powders would lead to this, I might have taken it easier. But what else could I have done? Not go to work? Not live my life? Guess I'll be paying for that now.

My Mom is stage 4 kidney failure and she has been instructed to stay away from green foods..think collards, salads, spinach you get the idea. If you haven't yet, speak with a nutritionist

[clay]

I saw the kidney doctor today to see if I could get an explanation for why I've had these two stays in the hospital with my creatinine levels shooting sky high. Turns out I probably have type 4 kidney disease, or maybe type 3, which is about 2 steps away from dialysis. So, no more NSAIDs, lower salt and less protein. I can have Tylenol for pain, and Imitrex for migraines, and topical Voltaren for my knees and that's it. I won't be doing much walking or leaving the house, as far as I can see. If I had known all those years of daily ibuprofen and BC powders would lead to this, I might have taken it easier. But what else could I have done? Not go to work? Not live my life? Guess I'll be paying for that now.

Hey Georgia Ma'am.....I have CKD Stage 3a.....because of those high dose steroids I was on for 7 months. I am hoping mine resolves now I am OFF prednisone, as of 3 weeks ago, after taking for 13 months. Google foods to eat for this CKD.

AS you saw, I, too use a scooter. I have had every kind of lift you can imagine. The BEST place to get one is a dealership that sells them. They often have one, used, but in good shape. The shafts can be cracked or twisted but one wouldn't know, buying from private seller. Also, you may have one already?? The BEST recommendation I can offer is one that goes inside your vehicle.....for many reasons, is out of weather (has electric controls", will stay lubricated much longer, and so on. Harmar, Bruno are both reputable lifts. Buying privately can be misleading......happened to me.....seller told me was a lift for outside my truck. Paid $$ to have installed by someone, BUT they didn't know what was what...should HAVE known it was NOT for outside......motherboard got wet, went south.....replacement was going to be $1000.
Anyway, there are so many options for you to get outdoors. Research if you decide to go that route.

AND don't beat yourself up over use of BC powders. It is a southern cultural thing. I used to consume Goody's like crazy....always had those multi sleeve packs on hand...into coke it went..lol. They are VERY rough/caustic on esophagus and tummy.

Not trying to overstep boundaries here, but to be supportive of you! You know I love you, D!! xoxo

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I think there is a scooter in my future too. Good to know about all the ins and outs. Also I have noticed I have trouble digesting green foods. Will definitely seek out a nutritionist.