By the "naming of the slut" i am talking about a way we femmes ostracize one another and other one another. I don't know how to articulate it.

Me too.

MOST transgender people I know don't find it endearing to be called two genders. Or even the gender they were incorrectly born into.

If you want to be endearing to my Beloved? He or Hy will do. "HeShe" is one step short of just saying freak, and I find it very disrespectful.

I think any word, can be used.. in different ways. They are words.. The context is everything..
If the question is , do I use them ? That's a different question.
There are plenty of words, that one person finds ok, and another is bothered by. Some find a turn on even..
There's tons of words I don't personally want to ever hear around me.. ! But that doesn't mean I don't understand that for some, they are either not offensive, or a term of endearment even.
Its not the words themselves.. Its when and how
A lovely example several years ago, was when someone called a particular female identified Butch, Miss..
Context, is everything, Nothing wrong with the word
and technically, correct.
Context ? insultingly meant .... clearly so..
Even more years ago, when I was a moderator for the GLCF Forum, way back in the stone ages of the Internet.. ! There was a rumor, that certain words were forbidden. Not so... There was a list of words to watch for, to check for context ..Certainly those are words more likely to be used as insults.. But .. not always, and , good grief....seriously, do you all, those who ahh..jumped on this..really think you know everything in everyone's lives and cultures , and exactly what one person might murmur to another , what might bring an intimate blush to one person ?
I don't, and that is my point... !

I think that is a different thing, form the word slut.. I agree that it is very disturbing and I would say,misogynistic .. Serious echos of the idea that women are owned by men, who dictate when and where it is appropriate to have sex ! But I don't think it has anything to do with the specific word slut.,.. !

I agree with this post.

Not looking to make any words forbidden, but when you say to me that you have *only* seen the words shim and shehe used in an endearing way I am going to call bullshit on that.

I am willing to concede that you may have seen them used in an endearing way, but only? Really? You can honestly say those words are not hurtful?

Umm.. maybe you might read back, I never said any such thing... !

I need a bloody mary and maybe some more sleep then, because respectfully MsMerrick it really looked like you were saying those words are endearing words. If not then my mistake and let's carry on...

and the list goes on.....

and therefore, I believe, sometimes we over think and over do all this ummm "stuff" about who said what and what word is best.

I said to my Mom, just the other day.....when we were talking about something like the electric company or some other such frustrating thing (probably that effin oil disaster).... "ya know that fucking pisses me off" and she replied "Yes I'm fucking tired of it"....then she said "oh listen to my language..."....

I, of course, laughed. I said "Mom, it's just a word. A word that "someone" decided they didn't like and therefore labeled it "wrong". (I could list them all...here but someone would be offended I'm sure).

Language. I think words are words. And I have already admitted to some making me shudder. But I also know at that moment that it's NOT ABOUT ME.

Now if you are calling someone names....that's about you and them. And there are many things people do and say in that instance. But the rest of it...

it's words ...language.

-Mr. Moon

Weighing in on heshe
 

i don't think language is *just* language.

i admit to being a certified dweeb geek child who was teased every day of my childhood. i was told to just ignore it. sticks and stones and all...

words are powerful. words can hurt and words can make you ten feet tall. the tongue IS mightier than the sword.

of course it's not always about me. it's about dylan. :candle:

I have a friend, who is femme, and chose to be artificially inseminated. She wanted a child. Is she a breeder? No. She is a Mother and in my book, that's the most supreme acknowledgment/compliment I can give her.

People who have nasty things to say have nasty hearts and even nastier minds.

Yes, exactly so, IMO. However, as I said a few pages back (and Darth brings up again here), in this place, on this site, on this thread, the word offends.
However, please be aware that there are sometimes cultural and ethnic uses of these words that you find offensive that are not always meant to be offensive, and are considered endearments. I think of how AA often use the word "nigg..." to address one another ... there is a twist, a turn, on the old derogatory use of the term. It is akin to the negritude movement, wherein french people of African descent decided to take those derogatory comments about their origins, skin color, stereotypical characterizations, and twist or turn them into something that had positive attributes. There is power in that, you see.

It is NOT that I LIKE hearing this use of the "n word", but common usage does take the sting out of hearing it. So don't get started on me about that. Anyway, we do not always know the intention/s of one another's use of a word, nor the context in which it was uttered. Yet, there are those, no matter how good the intent (informational/instructional, critical thinking, etc.) find it offensive. It is just simply better, then, to leave it the heck alone HERE. And develop another thread to discuss this academically or critically. Punto. I'm done. LOL.

I don't know what to tell you. You quoted me exactly and i read what I said, and what I said was NOT that those words are endearing
I said they can be endearing in context.. All 3 words btw, not just the gender ones....
I did not say, nor did what you quoted say, that They Were Endearments.,.. or that the words themselves, were meant as endearments or endearing in of themselves.. !
the words "in context" give the relative sense of the sentence. .
Is that any more clear?

Like when you addressed me as "little girl" on "that other site"? Luckily, my balls are bigger than even your lack of self-awareness! Sorry, but seeing you 'educate' others on this subject causes my breakfast to sneak back up on me.

Yes, that is more clear. Thanks.

How about we leave the old site at the old site and old grudges where they lay.

Hudson, if Merrick really hurt you all that badly maybe the two of you can discuss that in private. I think it's dirty pool to use something that someone said 1 - elsewhere and 2 - HOW long ago was that (I don't know) as a means of dismissing all of their opinions on all subjects for all eternity.

How about you don't moderate the thread?

I am very aware that a word like "Shim" that may be hurtful to me might not be hurtful to joe schmoe.

What to do when I hit the brick wall of a person who really doesn't care that it's hurtful? I mean there is no rule that it is anyone's responsibility to give a rats ass that a word may cause pain to others.

Am I naive in my hope that others will care?