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If you really knew me, you would know just how guarded I keep myself. We can move beyond the past, but everything in life leaves its print upon us.
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...you would know that I ask "what are you thinking?" a lot...
AND I actually listen to the answer... I like knowing/learning not only what people think but how they think... It annoys some of my friends, but they eventually get use to it ;) |
you would know I deactivated my facebook account and unfriended everyone on my friend's list. Why? Almost everyone who was on there, is in here. It got to be a fung shei thing for me..unclutter my life. I did not need two places.
This was not to hurt anyone's feelings or to unfriend anyone for real. It was simply to get that social network off of my consciousness. I only went there like 3 times in the past 4 months. So why bother with it? I just want everyone to know, nothing personal... |
If you really knew me...
You would know I'm the very best friend you'll ever make. I'm loyal, honest and I do everything in my power to protect those that I love. If you really knew me... You would know my strength and courage, but you would see how I constantly doubt myself. If you really knew me... You would have met a very, very old and gentle soul :) If you really knew me... You'd know that I have two amazing best friends. They are my world, and I can't imagine it without either one of them. They've seen me through so much, and never abandoned me in any of it. I love them more than I could ever tell either one of them, and I know they love me just as much. But, I'll always push them to prove their love to me even though they have time and time again. And if you REALLY knew me, you would understand why THAT is my biggest fault. If you really knew me... You would know how abrasive, harsh and confrontational I am, but how I'm afraid of all three of those things. If you really knew me... You would be amazed with my ability to love. I do so with every ounce of my being, and it can move mountains. If you really knew me... You would understand what it means to be open-minded. I'll never judge you... whoever you are. If you really knew me... You would know that for the last year I've been watching my mother physically and mentally deteriorate before my eyes while the disease slowly eats away at her, as it kills her family to witness this happening. If you really knew me... You would know that almost three years ago I lost one of my very best friends. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't take a moment and try to connect with his energy... where ever he is... and make sure he knows how much I love him, how much he is missed and the impact he continues to have on my life. If you really knew me... You would know that my heart has been broken. By others and by myself. And that I haven't admitted to myself which one hurts more. Yet. If you really knew me... You would see the changes I've made to better my life. You would know for me this is HUGE. And even though I don't say it or admit it often enough - I really am proud of myself. If you really knew me... You would know that I am my own worst enemy. No one can hurt me, beat me up and punish me like I can. Somewhere along my journey I've convinced myself that it's safer that way. I've been working very hard to undo that, and learn to be nicer to myself. I'm getting better. MUCH better. If you really knew me... You would see my dark place of denial. It's somewhere that I don't visit nearly as often as I used to, but it still is a lovely warm place for me at times. If you really knew me... You would know that my biggest fear is failure. But yet, I've set myself up to fail more times than not. This time, however, failure is not an option. If you really knew me... You would see how quick I am to forgive others, but how long it takes for me to forgive myself. |
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If You *REALLY* Knew Me ... .. you would know why I post songs w/lyrics and always have captions on while watching movies. :blink: ... you know what my woobie actually is and that I have it w/me always, especially while sleeping. ;) ... you know why I have been so completely stressed out lately, but also know things are getting much better and there is a beautiful future ahead for us and why I am so very proud of her!!! :rrose: |
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I LOVE you for it my sweet friend and I love turning that question back to you!!!! It is great to hear the hesitation, then your laugh and then you answer!! :) |
If you really knew me, you'd know that I'll be the first in my immediate family to graduate college
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If you really knew me you'd know I'm a very caring, compassionate, giving person, BUT, don't try to push my buttons.
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If you really knew me
...you'd know I trust only myself, and that I trust myself to handle anything.
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If you really knew me, then you'd buy me stock in water flavoring drink mixes. I go through those things like crazy.
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If you really knew me, you would know I bow to no one, and I never back down when I know I'm right.
If you really knew me, you would know just how much I love my wife and friends, 'cause you would be one of them. If you really knew me, you would know I will always do the right thing, not the most expedient thing. If you knew me, you would know I keep my cards very close to my vest. If you really knew me you would know I'm always on the underdogs side. If you really knew me you would know I'm an independent cuss and follow no one. But you'd have to know me to know these things, so I thought I'd let you all know. |
If you really knew me...
You would know that I genuinely care when I say I do. I talk way more than I should I bite my lower lip when I am that good kind of nervous :) |
If you really knew me...
You'd understand the amount of fear I am feeling, and why there is little reason to believe or have faith that it will get better this time. |
If you really knew me... You would know the following... I still cry watching Where the red fern grows... That when I am hurt or upset I don't always think before I speak... Life has handed me a things that have devastated me and I made the choice to try again and again... I have only a couple close friends... They are truly dear to me... I have learned so much about myself in the last two months that I amaze myself with the amount of resilience and determination I have... That every day I do my best to make it better than the day before... If I stumble I get back up and try again... |
If you really knew me you'd know that the SEC Championship game is on right now and the ACC Championship game is tonight and I wouldn't be very happy if the phone rings or uninvited visitors show up.
You'd also know that no I don't want to come over I don't want to go out to eat All I want to do is watch football |
If you really knew you me you'd know :
How sensitive I am How I always feel like Im ten feet tall and bullet proof How Im so blessed but feel very alone all the time How all my life all Ive ever wanted was a family How that is an oxymoron cause I dont want to raise kids How I have been single for 15 of the 16 total years I have been out How that doesnt bother me. Ive dated all those years enough to know what I want in a partner How I cant settle for anything less than what I deserve How I cant be with someone if there isnt "SPARKS" Its there for me or its not. Its quite simple How I love the little things in a relationship How I put my friends and dates priority in my life making time for them etc, and demand the same. How when I feel anything less than, I talk about it, then when its not addressed correctly then I walk away. How even though I have some self esteem issues over the years Ive gained enough confidence not to be with someone who gives me less than what I need. You'd know how important my faith is to me You'd know how I adore my friends You'd know how much I love my job How truly blessed I am... And even though I have a huge giving loving heart, I can still be a big ol GRINCH at Christmas time How I wish I could meet the perfect femme for me to meet under the mistletoe and wake up to this time of year :) How I have never danced or kissed in the rain and I long too How I love to snuggle How I value trust, honesty, intimacy, laughter in a relationship before sex. How those things make sex soooo much better How I over analyze so much How I can be my own worst enemy by doing things like that How I can predict what happens long before it does How this really screws with me "enjoying the ride" How its really difficult for me to just "LET GO" and enjoy said ride How Im thinking I need a patient femme And how amazing it was to spend the Saturday with the foster mom who raised me for the first half of my life before I was adopted |
If you really knew me....
.... You would know that I put on a show most of the time, hiding how I really feel or whats going on deep down. .... You would know that I am very loyal, but only to those who show the same type of loyalty to me. .... You would know that I sometimes try too hard to make everyone around me happy, and I can loose myself in the process. |
That I am truly a very forgiving person...
I can't hold on to negitive emotions.... They just don't stick.. I have drove people crazy with this tendency.. *I thought you hated them? Oh, that was two days ago... please keep up, I'm over that...* The only exception to this is... Hit my nuke button.. (I believe that everyone has a nuke button) For me... If I mean/meant anything to someone and they treat me like I am everyone else in the world... Then they become everyone else in the world and nothing special to me.. For me.. the word friend is special.. it means family... and if I am not special to you, then you are not special to me... My ex best friend did that to me four years ago and I still haven't called anyone that name... |
If you really knew me you would know that...
I hate e-cards I believe everything happens for a reason I love spicy food I listen better when I'm doing art or moving around or doing some kind of busywork even though the reverse might be assumed (That's just me.) it's after midnight and I'm laying in bed under an electric blanket, with my laptop and hence with my BFP family, and with my grey cat Phoebe purring on one side of me and BB reading an Israeli novel on hys Kindle on the other side of me, and I couldn't be happier |
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