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Congratulations to all of the non-smokers and anyone even thinking of quitting!
I have been struggling to quit for years. There have been a couple times I have quit for a while but have always gone back to it in times of stress. It is the last great (destructive/unhealthy) coping mechanism I have left. Had. I last smoked over 60 hours ago. My official quit date being the 24th. I have been reluctant to post about it because I have been feeling like a miserable wretch and I have this thing about keeping my misery largely to myself. I have just awaken at 4am in a pool of sweat. My sleep has been out of whack these few days and I feel like I have been in a haze. I am more sensitive than usual, irritable and weepy. But I keep reminding myself WHY I am doing this. There are of course the myriad of health reasons which are the facts behind the motivation but when it comes down to that moment when I am struggling through a craving, I have to keep telling myself that I WANT this. Also, in the past year I have made several attempts. The first few days/week are absolutely the hardest part and I keep putting myself through this torture only to pick up the smokes again, setting myself up to have to go through it again in the future. I am done with that. I am done with smoking. I am done torturing myself. I am done poisoning myself. And soon, I will be through this withdrawal and I will be free. But for the moment, I am still a wretched mess. |
Thank-you for posting how you're feeling Ms.Meander. You've been brave to post the bad bits about giving up. As you've said the worst bit is the first few days.
You want it and you can have it. All it takes is some deep breathing exercises (or some such, the deep breathing worked for me) through your cravings and keep reminding yourself that you're doing this fabulous thing for yourself. Being a bit mad for a while is a small price to pay. You can do it! :clap::cheerleader::thumbsup::clap::cheerleader: Please keep us updated on your progress. |
Ms. Meander...
You are at the crossroads - This is soooooooooooo amazing and Incubus is so correct about the breathing. Good for YOU! Julie (5 weeks / 2 days / Hours unknown) |
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More than a month Julie! That's awesome. |
Thank You, Incubus.
I feel GOOD! |
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You have been through the withdrawal before, so you know that it ends...then after getting over that main hump, it is mostly psychological. You CAN do it. You WILL do it! And freedom is exactly the right word. I had never seen it as freedom before until a few months after I had quit, but that is SO correct. Keep posting for support! |
Thank you all for being so supportive. I think sharing is an important part of this process. By letting others know what I am trying to accomplish, I make myself responsible to someone other than myself. Which just might be enough to make me think twice when in a difficult moment - which just might be enough to keep me from caving in.
I have been "deep breathing" through cravings, as mentioned. It is a helpful tool. I think of all that smoke-free oxygen being delivered to my lungs - it almost makes me light-headed sometimes! Congratulations Julie - You are amazing and inspiring! |
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(((Hugs to you all))))))))
omg amazing i havent been here in a couple of weeks and this thread seems to have some new comers...awesome... Way to go Jules!!!!!!! Way to go Belle! Way to Go Ms Meander.......keep on keepin on dear. im at week 6 day 4 ( i think) and let me say the first 5 weeks were a piece of cake, icing if must say...the last two I've had more tantrums than even i want to admit too more break downs than my normal happy days self... my smokes allowed me to deal with life without "emotion"...shit suddenly i have these damn emotions and i don't understand them....oops..it sucks waking at 40 and realizing I've never dealt with any of my emotions and now i get to...no more poison no more killing myself slowly.. Heather 6 weeks, 4 days, 7 hours and 53 mins. i wont give up these last 6 weeks..even tho i have my days and moments that i want to, i wont... |
Day 5
Struggling not to eat everything in sight :eatinghersheybar:
And just for the record: :whine: |
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Try not to substitute food for cigs...you'll hate yourself for it in the long run. Do something active instead of eating. I purposely didn't do the oral substitution but have still managed to put on a quarter of my original body weight. :overreaction: Keep the faith both of you! |
Holiday weekends are filled with temptation and opportunity.
I admit, I succumbed. Only a little bit, and I don't consider my efforts ruined. I am right back on track this morning. I really didn't want to come here and share this but I'd rather be honest and shame-faced, then dishonestly accept kudos I don't quite deserve. SO - fresh start this morning. All is well. So far, so good. I hope everyone else fared the weekend better than I! |
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Almost six weeks - but... Does not mean I am not tempted every single moment, especially when I get in my car -- I used to smoke in it and I can still smell it. Blah |
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by the way, how is the healing coming along? |
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Feels GOOD! You sound like you are doing great. |
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im really just doing the best i can every day and focusing positively on the daily stuff you know... im so glad your healing well... |
BY THE WAY
I have been ten minutes from buying a pack for the last week...this so major freaking sucks...someone said maybe its my cycle interfering with my psyche ...UGH..
Honesty...I wanna scream and have a tantrum...I wanna cry i think i already did this morning. This will pass though it always does. Honesty....I refuse to break...im stubborn that way...besides i don't like the flippen withdrawals they suck big time.. I know this is easier than im making it sound..and i love and adore those that have allowed me my tantrums and fits.. Honesty....I want someone to hold my hand through this..is that so bad? |
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You keep being stubborn gaea. You're doing brilliantly. I'm pleased to hear that folks are supporting you and allowing you your tantrums. No, I don't believe it is wrong to want someone to hold your hand, I wish I could do just that for you. Keep the faith, you can do it! |
Firstly, congratulations to everyone who has quit whether it has been a hour or 10 years.
Gaea – I totally get what you mean about dealing with emotions. The first two months were the most shit-tastic experience of my life. Having a dry birth was less hard than this. I think that it is too important to do this to feel like you have to do it alone. I will pm you my number, and you can text or call if you want. Ms. Meander – East some of that chocolate, girl! You deserve it! Congratulations! My Story: Smoking was my last great vice, and I smoked for 20 years. About 3 months ago, I developed pneumonia, and was out for about a week. During the course of the week, I slept and didn't really wake up to eat or use the restroom, much less smoke. When I was finally awake enough, I decided it was time to quit. I am the kind of person that if you take away my addiction, then it will be worse than what it needs to be. I kept a pack of cigarettes on my nightstand, and gave myself permission to smoke only if I need to. After the week of not smoking, I pulled on out of the pack, and left it on my nightstand with the same permission as above. It stayed there for two weeks, and I threw it away. Don’t get me wrong, I know I was lucky because I got to sleep through the worst part of the physical addiction, but I was in the middle of my last semester, in an unhealthy relationship, and having to fight with a professor who was trying to bully me into quitting. I never in my life wanted to say fuck it, gimme a smoke. Everyday for about a month I wished I had a cigarette. The toughest part, I think, is living with people who still smoke. The smell sits in my mouth like some explosive chemical reaction, and leaves my tongue feeling rough and abrasive against my soft palate. And so, three months later, I still want to smoke. I don’t think that feeling will ever go away completely, but I know that today is easier than yesterday and tomorrow will be easier than today. |
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Go you lillith. Sounds like you've succeeded against the odds. I'm sorry you're living with smokers, that must make it really hard. The feeling of wanting to smoke does go away eventually. |
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