Great point At Last!

Without my medicine I can't even leave my bedroom, much less the house and sit in the closet rocking and banging my head on the wall.

I totally get the need for privacy for those who can't go to therapy.

I am glad that the Admins will be making the group available to anyone who needs it without exclusion. I can't go with the pick and choose who has PTSD bad enough or who is not liked thing.

For me, being able to talk openly helps most!

Thank you for sharing! It helped me to hear that someone else has agoraphobia.

Heck yeaz! I say that sounds like an awesome idea. Life is already too short to let fear or pain or scars hold you back! VAcaTion<--- money better spent!

I have spent all my life trying to forget. In my younger days I tried every drug I could get my hands on and participated in some very risky behavior trying to forget. I've been to years of therapy, Vanderbilt Psychiatry and loads of different medicines.....

But nothing has made me forget.

Time has softened a few of the edges maybe....but I remember way too much.

I am now trying Brain Spotting to see if that will help?

My therapist says I won't forget, ever. But we can try to make things easier to remember.

I totally get what you are saying and I wish I knew how to forget too.

Struggling with a Mental Illness, PTSD/A Sounding Board
 

I am sorry Lady Jewel is upset. Someone who is recovering from PTSD should not be a moderator or whatever if you ask me. I even pmed Lady Jewel telling her that I could understood how she felt about the chat. Little did I know it was already going. I feel like a fool, idiot, jackass, and very much silenced. Silenced from my so-called friends who always tell me that they have my back. Right.

If anyone knows me they know I love the show "The Sopranos". I feel like if anyone here even thought of joining the chat who wasn't invited, those who were already in the chat, they conspired against me who stood in their way because of posting about getting into the chat. Hmmmmm, I wonder if it has to do with the rummors that went around about me, or the photographs that someone posted.

I just wonder about the time when my father held a knife to my throat, or when he beat me up, or when he beat me and locked me in a closet, or when xyz and I made the phone calls if my so called friends here would even pick up the phone. The same now as it was then. Nobody wants to get involved because I am not in the click. I am not worthy. I am stupid. I am this or that. I am just not...

The silence is deafening.

Seems healthier. :)

Planning trips trying to avoid as much opportunity for stress as possible can be challenging, but I think either way it is far healthier than sitting at home looking at casket brochures.

I have had some traumatic flight related experiences, but my travel for work the past 5 years has forced me to get back out there and to learn what kinds of things to avoid and what helps make it OK.

I'm here. :)

I also agree that someone with PTSD is the moderator it could be problematic...because I (for example) never know what space I will be in. What if I am too flipped out to be on line when it's time for chat group. I totally get what you are saying on that subject.


Try and step back, take a deep breath and go back to posting here and on the threads where you feel welcome ..like this one or the neurodiversity one. Maybe you could start a grilling thread.

If anyone is making you feel unwelcome, the problem is theirs, not yours.

Do you really want to be in a group that excludes anyone? You seem too cool for that. :)

Also, not sure what was said, but according to the admins thread yesterday, they were still facilitator searching.

Just saying Hi to everyone. And wishing that today is a good one for you and that ... you all RAWK!

[FONT="Century Gothic"]Been thinking a lot about how so many people in our community just have guts! These types of sites are not always very user friendly and I appreciate that the speaking out about what it is like to live with PTSD. Thank you....[/FONT

alieninjar: We all know what it is like to feel like[I] an alien in a jar![/I]

Alien in a Jar describes it well!

Hope your day is great At Last!

LS, what a wonderful and sweet answer!

Stop it! Andrew. What's done is done. Let's move on...you can't progress when you constantly keep yourself with crap in the past that really has nothing to do with this thread. THIS THREAD is about people who are debilitated by trauma—emotionally, physically, mentally.
How about sharing what you are doing about yours perhaps, or supporting someone who's really hurting from an episode, right now, or sharing something you've learned. I love you, bro. But please stop with the behind the scenes issues that have nothing to do with people who trying to survive their lives and are looking for like-minded connections in here...me included.

Sorry everyone, but enough with the chat thing. my .02

This is for everyone who needs it...I love this poem!
 

Thank you Shug! Powerful poem I needed to read today.

I struggle with the first 2 stanzas of the poem. Who am I?

Who am I to have an opinion?
Who am I to set boundaries?
Who am I to need boundaries?
Who am I to tell someone else how I expect to be treated?
Who am I to expect anything?
Who am I to have human reactions?
Who am I to hurt?
Who am I to have feelings?
Who am I to feel afraid?
Who am I to be horrified?
Who am I to take up space?
Who am I to scream?
Who am I to defend myself?
Who am I to have nightmares?
Who am I?

Being brought up in a full on trauma situation I was taught that to think I am brilliant, beautiful, funny, smart or talented is tooting my own horn and thinking too much of myself.

I like the last part of the poem especially where it says that if we let our light shine it gives other people permission to do the same. That is so powerful.

We are here, we are alive, we are deserving, we are stronger than we ever thought was possible. Let's shine!

I was talking to Cynthia (my G/F) about how bad things that have happened to me as an adult are kind of blips for me...yeah, it sucked but I got through it. I think those of us who have faced the worst things imaginable happening to us and survived have a different way of being. Our coping mechanisms (twisted as some of them may be) are in place to deal with crisis and we deal well.

It's the every day stuff....the noises, the knock on the door, the ring of the phone, a look, a lie.....that mess me up.

I'm rambling.....:)

I know!! I know!!! I hear from here mostly..how I am not alone...but it wasnt until I read both of these posts from Shug and "A"...that it now is starting to hit home.....omg....it was like you read my thoughts, but yet they are your own thoughts....could it be....could it really be that we all share that common thread of unworthiness and invisiblness....you are so right....i always looked and the pretty girls and never thought I could be like them...and still do to this very day.....I joke w my friends about just living vicariously thru them....bc I know i will never be worthy enough, pretty enough. good enough, "clean" enough...for anything else..or for anyone to want me....they laugh....and then i ask them...."what's it like to know________?" thank you for your posts....i know now that you really do know where I am at....and I know where you are at and/or have been....much love and peace....

Dear Andrew.

I will not go into detail about that impromtu meeting in the PTSD chat last week......but I will tell this to you and to the other thread members.....you are all better for not having been there.....and I mean this in all kindness.....I am still suffering flashbacks and panic attacks from the events of that evening....so please my dear friends......feel blessed....you were spared and when I came and posted my message that night....I was very upset and felt violated all over again.....and I continue to have to suffer the price of being manipulated into a place I shouldnt have gone.....I would hate for any of you to have to endure anymore pain and suffering than you have already......hugs and love......Princess.

Andrew, I want you to know that I want to get involved. We frequent many of the same threads, I do not find you to be stupid, quite the opposite I find you to be an intelligent, kind and compassionate person.

I hear you.