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"Waiter! There's a dead fly in my soup!"
....."Yes, Sir. It's the heat that kills them." http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l1...g?t=1398102101 |
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I told my girlfriend I think she's a virgin because we've never had sex. She was so shocked she had to pause Call of Duty.
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l1...g?t=1398126163 |
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking." |
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I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice....well, it really chilled her mood.
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l1...g?t=1398189066 |
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A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer.
A husband, "Put 'MYP*NIS' " and the wife fell on the ground laughing cause on screen was error, "Error. Not long enough." |
Dolly Parton and Princess Diana die both goto heaven God says I have room for just one of you at this time and best hand will win! Dolly shows hers she has the best pair of boobs ever he thought Princess mad and jealous Douches and hands it to God and says Royal Flush beats a pair any day !:hangloose:
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What is the main ingredient in shepherd's pie?
A little bit of ewe.:) |
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What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside. http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l1...psc77d3236.jpg |
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Home repair...
What did the painter say to the wall? "One more crack and I'll plaster you!"
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You can have brains or you can have beauty, but you can't have all three. ;p
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l1...psbfbbaec9.png |
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