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Do not be boring to me. My friends and I can sit around and talk about laundry, and I won't be bored. And there are some people who everyone seems to think fascinating, and are by objective measures, but who I can't wait to get away from. So who knows why some people are interesting to me and others aren't? But be one of those I find interesting.
Do not be one of those fabulous, performative, look-at-me kinda queers. That shit wears me out. Butches, femmes, and other genders can be like this. It can catch the eye and occasionally warm more southerly regions, but for day-to-day living, no thanks. These are different, but I will lump them into one point. Be capable of empathy, be considerate, and have good manners. Basically, be someone I don't have to train like a stray dog. If you are old, which is likely, and haven't acquired these qualities by now, you are probably an asshole. So, I'll give that a miss. |
1. Abusive - physically or verbally
2. Cheating - lying is part of cheating 3. Arrogance - cockiness or showing swagger is fine. 4. Have a great sense of humor 5. Must be good in the sack Ooops, I've added two more..... oh well 6. Emotionally & financially stable, responsible 7. Minimum 5'8" or taller 8. Being deceptive with full of B.S and drama Ooops, now I've added three more! So spank me!! LOL |
I just basically want honesty, respect and no drama!
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just (3)
-a dedication to your sweetheart, that makes you evaluate every issue's importance in the bigger picture of your life together....I think the realization makes you behave more reasonably and be more open to expansive resolutions to the glitches every deep relationship will have-if this doesn't occur to you early, you probably need to rethink whether you're ready for anything deeper
-to think of your sweetheart's needs as equal in value and importance to your own -realizing goodness, faithfulness, kindness have to be part of what's important to you both |
Three non-negotiable:
1) honesty 2) kindness 3) a good sense of humor |
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3 or more
Honesty...Honesty...Honesty...did I say Honesty?!
and Intelligence/Creativity...glasses a plus...smiling... loves family...Sensual...Multi-lingual...Compassionate...Loyal...Loyal...Loyal... did I say...?...smiling...Passionate about her interests...knows that Love is demonstrated in actions...Loves to move...dance...run...swim...walking... oh yes and loves to...well, you see I could go on, but will stop here...and knows that she finds similar and other qualities in me...including the glasses...smiling... In 2017, may you be embraced by peace of mind, prosperity, and an honest, and loyal, lovingly caring Beloved. (f) Happy New Year! Greco |
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I have indeed found all of these attributes & so many more in my best friend, on our journey to love & LTR. I found her in 2016, so my New Year s already triply blessed! Wish same for you my friend!! |
Ohh loyalty is another good one to have.
That is very hard to find these days. |
i
Indeed, high level of discernment required for sure...actions speak louder than words.
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Communication / Honesty / Fidelity
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1) Independence, for both of us. If I do accept someone into my life, they have to compliment it. So they would have to love their own independence of life as much as I love my own. That's the only way it would work.
2) Similar sense of humour. Still on my bare essentials. If they don't have dark humour and love playful sarcasm/irreverent humour, wit, its probably not going anywhere physical. 3) Good Kinky Sex Life. that they dont smell bad and don't lie is kind of a given. I take that as an unsaid baseline that is so understood by pretty much everyone, it doesn't need saying. however, I don't care about fidelity, nor do I care if they have money or not. I am happy to pay for dates and holidays. I don't care if they like to fool around at parties, or have dates with long term fwbs they reall care about. As long as their feelings for me are sincere, without dramatics, they put some time aside for me especially, and they are honest/loyal. You'd think this was a low bar. Apparently not low enough. |
I'm flexible on the likes, as everyone is individual and that is interesting to me..
But the women I can't stand to be around are the ones with loud mouths, The ones who carry a chip on their shoulder from their past lovers.And the ones who think their own shit don't stink.. Women like Caroline... |
Everything else is negotiable. |
Non negotional desires: the basics
Chemistry creating that feeling of *please* come closer. (The healthy kind)
Devotion, passionately, heart to heart. We *love* our love. Very loving and expressive, prone to impromptu acts of passion. I adore purity of heart, and kind, honest expression. Open-mindedness, free thinker, global spirit, adventurous. Embodies finesse, a grace of spirit. Someone who bothers to live an interesting life, unapologetically interesting.Then comes home and shares. |
For Me;
I have to be attracted to the lady and extremely attracted in what they have to offer from the heart... Be honest, loving, caring, trusting and are really good in the bedroom... turn off- they get jealous , there not a whole person, glass is half empty or half full...when I'm in a relationship I only have eyes for that femme....I don't get jealous, that's me.. If there is no trust in a relationship then there is no relationship.... They can't sit down and talk about what's bothering them...instead they give you the silent treatment or yell for no reason....not ok !! |
I can't stick to only 3 either. If only I knew these things before learning them the hard way.
1) Consistency - continue being the person portrayed while getting to know each other. Some things will change after the "honeymoon" period, but the person shouldn't. I don't understand this because I, myself, don't know how to be anything other than what I really am, always ... not just while falling in love. Example ... I don't stop wanting to express my love or feelings. I don't stop pursuing common interests or passions. 2) Honesty 3) Core values and beliefs must be in sync. Not everything about two people will be the same, but I can't survive major clashing differences such as how we view life, in general, relationships, health and how we want to live. Our major differences either have to be complimentary or able to co-exist peacefully. Or else. 4) Common interests - Just a few ordinary ones won't cut it. I am passionate and contemplative about too many things that I need to have in my life that I get along best with someone who actively shares at least some of the major interests I have. Last year I discovered a very enlightening project that helped me narrow everything down to four core things I cannot live without. 5) Be humble. I am humble and old-fashioned, and I can't get along with chaos, arrogance, obsession with material things, total selfishness and anything else that goes against being humble and in tune with what I believe life should be about. 6) Sense of humor - laughter is one simple thing that keeps me going. 7) Love - know the difference between real, mature love and selfish, unhealthy "love" where you mostly love the person because of some one-sided void they fill and what they give you ... instead of for who they are and how well you go together. |
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I would like to apply for this position ;) |
Non-negotiables
Mine are always the same,
No cheating No lies No drugs I actually have more but it said three. |
1. Integrity
2. Honesty 3. Good communication skills 4. Self supporting and employed 5. Compassion for others 6. Must love cats! OK, I went above 3 too...but they are very important to me and if I ever date anyone again these things must be true of that person. |
Kind
Positive outlook on life (negative people are a soul sucker) Smart/Good sense of humor (hey you can't be funny if you're not smart, lol) |
Honesty....
Self independence.... Wit & adventurous.... No alcoholics.... Loves life & wants to be part of it, not out of it... Couldn't stick to just 3 either lol I tried... |
Miss Guided...
As strange or even counter-intuitive as this may sound, at this point I've ditched the "list of requirements." My own tastes and preferences can be so diverse it seems a shame to saddle someone else with a list of do and do nots. IDK, more opting in, less opting out? This is coming from someone who if I had won the lottery this weekend would have funded both the first chair cello at the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra annnnnd my own NASCAR team.
Katniss~~ |
1.Smoking
2.Smoking 3.Smoking Did I mention smoking? :| |
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I am on a roll tonight and did not follow the rules for the thread. Bear with me, please.
Love me, love me dearly, with all of your heart and soul: for better or worse. If, by some (very) strange reason, there are some slightly harder to love "things"; communicate them to and with me, openly, honestly and with kindness. I promise I will do my best to hear you. Honesty always as a tool of self-sustaining love. It is never to be used as a bludgeon of deliberate harm or pain. Commitment to the long-haul. The forever love. I seem to develop that kind of love fairly easily once I stop being afraid but I then chose to bestow it on those that are not exactly interested in same. Don't be easily angered. I do also have a propensity for easily angered people. When I was young, I always fell in love with bad boys. Then when I fell for girls; the bad girls. The ones with anger close to the surface of their skin and that one wrong word could make them blow. I spent lots of time walking on egg shells to keep it contained but I always made a wrong move and thar she would blow... Believe that sex is not only to show love and caring but that it is fun and playful. Please love oral sex; both giving and receiving or know I am not the one for you. I was happily in a relationship for the first 10 years with my long-term stone butch but then she wanted a reciprocal sexual relationship and I fell in love with the giving of oral sex, during our last 9 years together. It is hard to put that genie back in the bottle once it is out and I am too old now to want to. It gives me joy. Really honor the words "in sickness and health". My recent ex did not like the first part, only the second. It was when I knew I needed to leave her, when she said in a fit of anger one day: "I don't want to have to push you around in a wheelchair when we get old". I keep thinking that the irony will be if it is her that will require pushing by someone and perhaps, with a stroke of good fortune, I won't. We just don't know do we? Must love music. I love it all from rock to classic to hip hop to opera. Eclectic, I guess. I would respect and honor a long-term, maintained recovery that is nurtured. I would not be able to handle someone actively practicing their disease of addiction. That is in my daily place of employment. Home needs to be a sanctuary. I think that about covers it |
(in every context)kind
foresight passionate |
True to Heart (physical a non-issue)
Open minded, hearted Experimental in all things |
Just found this while perusing this thread! Well spoken, Anya! I second all of it!
Great list, Anya! I concur on all your points!!
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Yes! Yes! |
HONESTY
Meets obligations made Experimentalism |
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