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I would imagine that if you understood Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy!
https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2792/4...04d2fdc9cf.jpg |
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
. . . . . . . . . Of course not, it hasn't come out yet |
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While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!"
Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?" |
What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?
(Dino-mite!) What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? (Her shadow!) |
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What do you give a sick bird?
(Tweet-ment) What do you give a sick pig? (Oink-ment) Why did the banana go to the doctor? (Because it wasn't peeling well!) |
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went
then it dawned on me.
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6.05 thus far since 6/1/14...
When does it rain money? When there is "change" in the weather.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud What's worse than raining buckets? Hailing taxis! Can Bees fly in the rain? Not without their yellow jackets How do lightning bolts flirt? They electrocute each other |
Did you know James Bond once slept through an earthquake?
He was shaken, not stirred. http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l1...ps000707c1.jpg |
How Much Does A Hipster Weigh?
An instagram.
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Did you hear about the guy who got run over by a steam train? He was chuffed to bits.
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A little musican humor for the World Cup
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Why should you never date a tennis player?
Because love means nothing to them. http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l1...psb94954af.png |
What happened when the cheese factory exploded?
De brie flew everywhere. https://drawception.com/pub/panels/2...LNYeLdHq-4.png |
a hamburger walks into a bar and orders a beer.
barkeep looks at him and says "sorry mate, we don't serve food. |
What do you call a lying frog?
An AmFIBian.
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"I have a leak in my boat!" Tommy cried balefully.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mdFhuoyB7M...at_sinking.gif |
Why are there band-aids in the refrigerator?
They're for the cold cuts.
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Darn kids! I had to take one to the hospital because somehow he got 6 plastic horses stuck up his ass. Doctors described his condition as stable.
http://www.easyvectors.com/assets/im...e-clip-art.jpg |
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A white horse walks into a bar, he goes up to the counter and the bartender turns and says " Hey we have a whiskey named after you!" The horse replies " What? Kevin?"
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A twin came home from a late date and told her sister, "We're not identical any more." :|
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l1...g?t=1403484247 |
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Happy_Go_Lucky, enjoy these shoes.... OMG SHOES!
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A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No", he replies,"I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What"s so special about it?" The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically." The lady says, "What"s it telling you now?" Well, it says you"re not wearing any panties." The woman giggles and replies "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!" The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing"s an hour fast." |
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