Butch Femme Planet - What is on your mind

yes, I would do the sleep clinic again.

yes, ambian could have something to do with it. One of the side affects is hallucinations. But I cant rule out I havent been having these for awhile.

The Dr who sent me to the clinic is a pulmonologist and he is the Dr I think is full of shit so I am going to hunt down a sleep Dr.

I am fascintated by this now. It makes so much sense why I strain not to fall asleep, even tho I desperately want to. And it explains why even tho I have taken sleeping pills (ambian) they havent worked (or so I thought)

when I woke up this morning I thought I had slept thru the night uninterrupted, that they had simply slipped in and put the probes on me while I slept. I guess it was a good two hour struggle with me!

I do get to watch the video on Tuesday ...

On other news, I went to the eyes ears and nose Dr that the stupid Dr sent me to, who said I was anxious and had vocal cord dysfunction. The specialist scoffed and said nothing is wrong with my cords and my cords arent affected by anxiety. He laughed. He asked why the Dr said this. I wanted to say because I have a vagina but I caught myself....I figured I had already raised enough hell in the sleep clinic...

lipstixgal

12-01-2010 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by softness (Post 239326)

I spent the night at a sleep clinic last night because I have had months of problems not being able to fall asleep. Once asleep. I can sleep well, but falling asleep is a problem. I stay awake until 8, 9, 10 AM. So I go there and the dr gives me ambian.I explain I have been prescribed this before but it doesnt work. He says to just take it. I shrug.

Next thing I know I am waking up and the nurses are looking at me warily and asking me if I know where I am and who I am. Puzzled I answer appropriately and wonder why they are backing up as I climb out of bed.

hmmm...seems I hallucinate in my sleep. And what I think of as not falling asleep is me actually hallucinating. I go "elsewhere". Its like a blackout. I didnt know where I was nor why I was there. I pulled all the wires off of me several times. I was not combative nor violent, just difficult but in a playful giggling way. THey said it was like I had been drinking or the life of the party. I was dancing and saying "I bet you never saw anyone dance like THIS before". Trust me..I NEVER dance..I am very very shy about dancing. But there I was, bellydancing around the room! When they got close to put the wires back on I was wide eyed and amazed that the figures on their scrubs were moving and telling a story. I also reached into their pockets and took out their personal possessions. Sighing...so not me. I ran down the hall, skipping sideways. I sang to them, pressed my face against the windows, tried to undress, and did all kinds of similiar uninhibitive kind of things. It took them quite some time to get me to settle down in the bed. Eventually, I left the wires on, got quiet and did do the normal sleep.

funny thing is...my brain wave patterns showed NO difference between those times and the sleep time.

My Dr has to get the report and then I have to go see him. No one has ever told me I behaved like this when I sleep. To be honest, it sounds very similar to who I acted like when I relapsed. If this is what happens to me when I sleep, no wonder I dont want to fall asleep!

I am so unnerved....and wonder how if at all, this plays into my breathing problems...

I had two sleep studies and didn't think that you could pull the wires out but I was on meds so it didn't occur to me. How the hell did you get the wires out? There in there pretty good I think with some goop they put on your scalp. Interesting and would you do it again with out the ambien, maybe try lunesta instead and see if yo have sleep apnea its lifesaving to get the machine I have one and its getting better each night that I use it. It just takes time to get use to the mask that is all. Good luck!!

Soft*Silver

12-01-2010 02:23 PM

Lipstix...I cant answer your questions because I wasnt there...lol. I am only telling you what they told me I did. I feel the goop they put on me in my head. Nasty snotty crap. I am sure they are going to put me thru another round at the sleep clinic. I called there today and when I said my name the person said "oooo we heard about you today!" ooohhh jeeezzz...lol. I am infamous at the sleep clinic! Honestly. I took the pills. Then the next second I woke up and it was morning. Just like that. No memory of any of it. Like an alcoholic black out.

Jet	12-01-2010 02:41 PM

I just had an MRI on my left shoulder. I haven't been able to use it in about 3 months. That means no workouts which mean everything to me. I'll know results this week I think. If I don't get this fixed i'm going to f••king lose it.

LipstickLola

12-01-2010 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by softness (Post 239388)

Lipstix...I cant answer your questions because I wasnt there...lol. I am only telling you what they told me I did. I feel the goop they put on me in my head. Nasty snotty crap. I am sure they are going to put me thru another round at the sleep clinic. I called there today and when I said my name the person said "oooo we heard about you today!" ooohhh jeeezzz...lol. I am infamous at the sleep clinic! Honestly. I took the pills. Then the next second I woke up and it was morning. Just like that. No memory of any of it. Like an alcoholic black out.

That's very unprofessional, I'm sorry that happened to you.

Leigh

12-01-2010 02:48 PM

Reading this story, and wanting to cry ~ how could someone do this to a helpless child, and for no apparent reason?

http://beta.ca.news.yahoo.com/grandm...death-off.html

lipstixgal

12-01-2010 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by softness (Post 239388)

Oh wow that is too bad I wish you luck and yes it is unprofessional that they said anything about your status as a patient in a sleep clinic. They are definitely going to test you again!! There must be something going on there...good luck

Leigh

12-01-2010 04:06 PM

Looking ahead to a new year, the chance to move forward and starting to live My life as I see fit

katsarecool

12-01-2010 04:23 PM

Am missing a certain someone who only posts on weekends. A nice new special kind of friend!!! :)

lipstixgal

12-01-2010 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katsarecool (Post 239455)

Am missing a certain someone who only posts on weekends. A nice new special kind of friend!!! :)

Oh how nice for you kats!!

miss entycing

12-01-2010 05:19 PM

I was thinking that if I weren't as sick as I am,
that I would steal the gorgeous SD-
and run away from home for some girl time.
:vigil:

bright_arrow

12-01-2010 07:23 PM

What the future may or may not hold.

I know what I want, but it's not only my decision. So.

katsarecool

12-01-2010 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lipstixgal (Post 239482)

Oh how nice for you kats!!

Ssshhh It's a secret!!! LOL Thank you!

Billy

12-01-2010 07:45 PM

I forgot , it slipped My mind and I don't remember :)

JustJo

12-01-2010 07:52 PM

http://flyinureye.files.wordpress.co...delusional.jpg

Julien

12-01-2010 08:00 PM

I just wish the various doctors taking care of my dad would talk with each other and give the family consistent information. So many doctors, so many conflicting messages. It is difficult to know who to listen to and what to do.

Gemme

12-02-2010 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matthew (Post 239408)

Reading this story, and wanting to cry ~ how could someone do this to a helpless child, and for no apparent reason?

http://beta.ca.news.yahoo.com/grandm...death-off.html

This is disgusting. Absolutely heartbreakingly disgusting. :(

I was reading an article about Libby, Montana today and the asbestos poisoning that's been going on for generations there. So sad. So very sad that no one, not the plant in charge (Grace), not the medical community (except for 3 (THREE!) EPA agents) and not the government has helped them willingly until just recently.

http://www.hcn.org/issues/292/15302

http://earthfirst.com/americas-top-1...tal-disasters/

http://www.aolnews.com/killer-in-the...Clink2%7C28821

Ebon	12-02-2010 01:10 AM

You think you can trust people, the ones that smile in your face but then you find out you have to "be careful" what you tell them. I think that's lame.

Miss Scarlett

12-02-2010 05:23 AM

Am completely stressed out this morning - likely a product of my own imagination.

Why am I stressed? Next week I will be on vacation. This is my first actual vacation from work in about 5 years. My last 2 vacations were tied in with losing my job either immediately before or shortly after my return. Both times my job was being eliminated - because one firm was closing and the other decided to move away from my area of expertise.

My current boss has gone through many assistants over the last few years. I have been there for 1 1/2 years and can do far more than past assistants. But I am far from perfect. No major screw ups but minor errors and mistakes - some from ignorance or lack of clairvoyant abilities, and others from my lack of diligence. But my work is not behind and I have been double and triple checking everything to make sure nothing that she needs next week is left undone.

My boss is not much of a communicator and I am not much of a mind reader. I hope to talk with her today, confirm my time off next week and see if there is anything else she needs me to do before the end of this week.

I'm fighting this stress and trying to keep it from having a negative effect on my job performance, but it is very distracting.

I wish I could talk with my Mom about it - this is adding to my stress too.

Jeez!:seeingstars:

Miss Scarlett

12-02-2010 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Organicbutch (Post 239750)

You think you can trust people, the ones that smile in your face but then you find out you have to "be careful" what you tell them. I think that's lame.

Totally agree with you. I learned this lesson may years ago and have the occasional "refresher course"; often after letting my guard down.

Tommi

12-02-2010 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett (Post 239771)

Good morning Miss S
Glad you were at least able to write about it here.

Is it that fear of the unknown grabbing you by the throat due to being shot at in the past? Is a zinger going to hit me when I am not looking, if I don't have my radar on?

Being a past survivor of many wars, battles, and just misunderstandings I say two things to myself.

1. I am only in control of Myself, and my thinking. I cannot control what others think or do (They). What can I do is be the best I can and undo this garbage thinking.

2. This is the moment of a new day. It is not the day and time that something horrible happened in the past. I can breathe in and out on my own, and stop thinking about what THEY may be or do. :bunchflowers:

I miss my Mom too, so come here to chat with ya'll.

RIP Mickey Mom

katsarecool

12-02-2010 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett (Post 239771)

Am completely stressed out this morning - likely a product of my own imagination.

Why am I stressed? Next week I will be on vacation. This is my first actual vacation from work in about 5 years. My last 2 vacations were tied in with losing my job either immediately before or shortly after my return. Both times my job was being eliminated - because one firm was closing and the other decided to move away from my area of expertise.

My current boss has gone through many assistants over the last few years. I have been there for 1 1/2 years and can do far more than past assistants. But I am far from perfect. No major screw ups but minor errors and mistakes - some from ignorance or lack of clairvoyant abilities, and others from my lack of diligence. But my work is not behind and I have been double and triple checking everything to make sure nothing that she needs next week is left undone.

My boss is not much of a communicator and I am not much of a mind reader. I hope to talk with her today, confirm my time off next week and see if there is anything else she needs me to do before the end of this week.

I'm fighting this stress and trying to keep it from having a negative effect on my job performance, but it is very distracting.

I wish I could talk with my Mom about it - this is adding to my stress too.

Jeez!:seeingstars:

Sorry that you are still having to deal with this Boss From Hell!!! I bolded a part of your note here and it is very telling. It tells me something about a person I do not even know. It tells me she can't keep employees. Probably has trouble keeping friends too.

No one is perfect!!!! Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. I strongly feel the problem is not your or your performance. I feel she is the one with the major problem. I hand it to you for sticking around this long.

I think if she was thinking about firing you she would have done it a long time ago. So don't worry!!!!! And Tommi is so right!!! Have a great vacation. You deserve it. Most certainly you EARNED it working with her!!! Hang in there sweetie!!!

WolfyOne

12-02-2010 01:36 PM

No matter what kind of day I have....I always know, life is good :)

Find that happy place and sink right into it

bright_arrow

12-02-2010 05:34 PM

My sister telling me she is going to move to TX to be with a boy. A boy who has been in jail once already. She's looking at going to a college down there that isn't near enough to walk to (she has no vehicle and it's 22 miles away), and she has no job or money right now.

I don't like this idea, but it's her life, and if she's like me, she's stubborn and won't let anyone change her mind.

katsarecool

12-02-2010 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desdansmoncoeur (Post 240053)

My sister telling me she is going to move to TX to be with a boy. A boy who has been in jail once already. She's looking at going to a college down there that isn't near enough to walk to (she has no bike and it's 22 miles away), and she has no job or money right now.

I don't like this idea, but it's her life, and if she's like me, she's stubborn and won't let anyone change her mind.

Ah oh!!!! Not a good move on her part!!!! Perhaps you could sit her down and get her to make a Pro Con List and discuss it? How will she live with no job and no money? And the guy doesn't sound too reliable. I hope she changes her mind.

My sister did the same thing; moved from NC to Chicago with a man she had not actually met face to face and took her twelve year old daughter with her. I begged her not to do this. I even offered to pay for a plane ticket back for them both when it started going south. She stayed there with him for two years until he was caught peeking in her then 14 yr old daughter's bedroom window. That did it.

Good luck to her!

bright_arrow

12-02-2010 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katsarecool (Post 240055)

My sister has met him - he lived here for awhile. When they were 15 he stole a gun from his grandparents and pulled it out on some guys that had teased him, while my sister was with him! He was in jail beginning of this year for stealing and she told him no more.

I think she intends to move in with him and work down there and get her dental assistant diploma via financial aid. I know she wants out of our parents house and that's part of the reason why she doesn't want to stay living with them (aside from the fact that they are moving into the country and about an hour North of where they live already). I moved out when I was 18 with the person I was dating to get away from my family as well. I'd hoped it'd changed, but I guess not.

I can try and get her to think about this more but we'll see. She's only 17 :( If nothing else, she should of learned from my multiple mistakes when I was that age.

katsarecool

12-02-2010 06:18 PM

Wow 17 is so young. If she only knew that living with your parents isn't so bad especially when living away from home under doubtful circumstances. I left home too at the age of 17; marrying to get away from home. I ended up jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I survived but it took years to make up for lost time. Time I could have used living at home and getting an education. I hope she makes the right decision! And she is lucky to have a older sister who cares so much!

Cirrus

12-02-2010 06:41 PM

Today wasn't the greatest of days. I hope tomorrow is better.

JustLovelyJenn

12-02-2010 08:10 PM

I don't think she thinks I'm serious.

Blade

12-02-2010 08:21 PM

If I'm not mistaken tomorrow is Friday, and I'm glad about that. I'm not going to be very happy if I am mistaken though.

Ebon	12-03-2010 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blade (Post 240164)

If I'm not mistaken tomorrow is Friday, and I'm glad about that. I'm not going to be very happy if I am mistaken though.

Yep today is Friday!

Pixie

12-03-2010 01:50 PM

How much I really despise the holidays....I can't even reference the grinch or mr.scrooge because well....they ended up turning into christmas lovers anyways. Lol.

Ready for the cheery music, inflated prices, and red/green/white to go away...

bah hum bug
:blink:
:seeingstars:

katsarecool

12-03-2010 01:54 PM

Pixie, I do not care for the holidays either! I got burned out many years ago; worrying about making sure my kids had enough presents that they loved under the tree. I drove myself nuts from Sept. to Dec. 25th!!! Now I am watching my kids do the same thing. It is crazy I tell ya!!!

If it were me I would like to have a holiday mean once a month for the family with a present or two for the little kids. And birthdays of course. I think that is why I love Thanksgiving so much family dinners and quiet time after. Time to play games with the little ones while some of the grown ups watch football...

Just_G

12-03-2010 02:07 PM

Have you ever just let shit build up in your head for like a week or two at a time....and you just want to grab someone by the arms, look them dead in the eye and telling them exactly how you feel....no holds barred?!

Yeah, I am in THAT kind of mood today! I am in a fantastic mood....but a fightin' mood because someone makes me feel like crap! Shit might just hit the fan tonight! :blink:

Pixie

12-03-2010 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katsarecool (Post 240646)

Right!
That is my goal when I have a family of my own. To make once a month events so appreciated that thanksgiving/christmas are just any other time, and our time together doing what we can, when we can is more sought out and desired.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just_G (Post 240656)

Oh ya been there! Good luck!:rrose:

WolfyOne

12-03-2010 02:46 PM

Believe it or not the mix up with my online application in this corporate world actually turned into a phone call yesterday with the store I was at the other day. I went for an interview today, but the process is more than just one interview. So, if they liked me today, they will call me in another week for a second interview. Once again, staying ever so hopeful. This job is for a lead position in an area of sales I know nothing about, but willing to learn.

LipstickLola

12-03-2010 02:55 PM

I'm still sick, don't wanna really do the holiday thing this evening, BUT my kidlets are counting on me (their dad with his other family) and so I'll fake it.......again. At least there are cupcakes :)
I feel guilty saying this, but hurry on January 2.

"Big deep breath Lola....you can do it!!" :praying:

moonfemme

12-03-2010 03:05 PM

Sending Healing Vibes

Feel better soon LipstickLola :~)

moonfemme

12-03-2010 03:06 PM

Threads

I want to start a thread... can someone help me out ???

WolfyOne

12-03-2010 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by moonfemme (Post 240689)