You sound so full of compassion and understanding of her pain.

As you say, they are together again now.

I must acknowledge also that this must of been a harrowing experience to discover her the way you did......

And when you met her and embarked on this relationship, moving in together you must of been full of hope for all the love and happiness that this union would bring.....seems it was to bring very different things.

Sending you love and support and wishing you gentle, healing days.

DC

from number 6of10
 

Well Ma, 7 years ago. As I look at that number (1-2-3-4-5-6-)...7...seven....days, weeks, months, years...I understand the time that has gone by. I feel my heart break.....7....seven.....years could still be just seconds ago....7. The loss of you was a whirlwind for 13 days from beginning to end. Tho that time we had with you was truly a blessing, none of it prepared us for when you were gone. Just like that, the family rock, our Gibraltar. To say thank you cannot conceivably cover what I mean to say, what I want to say. So I say it here, where I know my words will be read, my heartbreak will be felt and others will understand. Sometimes, siblings just don't understand in that your love for me, and the relationships with women I have brought to you, the support and encouragement you openly gave me paved way for the family to accept and embrace me and my relationships. My siblings don't understand how complicated this is for many others who never had this support.

So all I can do is say what I feel, as I always have done. I feel as if I could never thank you enough for loving me no differently, for the life I do have and my happiness all had to do with how you expressed openly your unconditional love. I feel as if I need you here, not there. I feel you have done really well in raising me. I feel a need to hug you and sit with you and talk. I feel as if I need to see your smile.........I feel as if I am being selfish by wanting you here. I feel blessed to have had you for my Ma.
I feel grateful for a space to share this visually, thank you BFP

that unexpected phone call came.
 

A lovely woman I was in a relationship with lost one of her daughters yesterday. She has two and this one she lost, the younger one, was a free spirit. Hiking, photography, a wiz at mathematics and went to a university in Utah for her Masters, eventually moving to Colorado, an adventurer in every aspect of her life. Loved her family, and sparkled from the inside and out. Never to be held back she has accomplished/experienced more in her 31 years of life than most people do in a lifetime. She was a sweet girl, gentle to all life.

My heart breaks for my ex, she flew across the US to be with her daughter who was in a very bad car accident. Her daughter and a friend were in a car hit from the rear. Both needed critical life sustaining measures, so far one of them has died (my ex's daughter) and the other is still fighting for her life.

I cannot reach out to her personally, it didn't end well between us. I have family members who will and I am comfortable with that. I can't even imagine. She herself is somewhat emotionally fragile normally. I can only pray for her broken heart to have strength to get through this and learn how to live life all over again. I pray for the family and that they have strength to endure this time of such sorrow. I pray for the soul of her daughter that has started a new life and home in a journey I believe we all will one day make. I continue to be at a loss emotionally, in shock and can express that here.

God , please help this family. There is so much heartbreak, pain and loss. Give them the strength needed, assurance and comfort that they are not alone in the loss of their loved one.
Amen

loss
 

I lost my father in 2000 and my mother in 2005 and its like only yesterday we shared so many happy days. I miss you both so much, think of you often and love you as much as I did then. Just to hear your voices one more time but it is done and I am very sad.

May is a difficult month for me. My mom's birthday is May 5th. I lost her when I was 21. My dad pass 3 years before my mom on May 20th.

I don't know if you ever get over the loss of a parent. I was extremely close to my dad and not really close to my mom in the end. Still, I dislike May a bit.

My sister died when she was 7 - I was 18. My dad lost his mind. My mom retreated. I compartmentalized. My brother - I don't know. So it went on. It was always hard to know whether to include her in family things. We didn't speak of her for a long time because it hurt too much. It still does.

Mother's Day is always rough, because my ex lost his mother when she was 48, my butch lost her mother a few years ago, and celebrating my mother always seems to mean remembering my lost sister.

My thoughts to all of you who are having a hard time this time of year. Prayers if you want them, wishes if you don't. I'm sorry for all your pain.

I was looking deep in the linen closet for old towels today, when a stack fell off and wound up on the floor. On top was a towel embroidered with the word "Sis". Omg, I felt my heart squeeze, and it was all I could do to catch my breath. The towel was one of a set given to my mother over 30 years ago by my Aunt...I didn't know I still had it!

I have been very sad this past week missing my daughter and my Mom...it was kind of like (sappy I know) a sign from her letting me know she is still around. Then, out of the blue my daughter called to complain about her job, and I was able to get my Amy fix.:hangloose:

I miss them both so much, and in such different ways.(f)

10 yrs ago...
 

I was at the hospital today for physical therapy-I ventured over to room 215. 215 is the room I said goodbye to my Dad. I sure miss him-

Ks-

Today I had another one of those "Oh, I need to ask Dixon . . ." thoughts. Then I remembered, I can't. When will these stop? It hits me in the heart every time.

I'm also learning how much David did emotionally for my boy. The boy is trying to lean on me more and more for different emotional needs, and I just can't fulfill all of them. One reason I think we (were/are) all poly is because we're the kind of people who need more than one person to fill our needs. The boy has needs I will never be able to fill, not because I don't want to, but because I'm just not that person for him, emotionally or physically.