Would like to read how you accomplish this order.

Relationships
 

Hi,

I have not been that successful in relationships but I have a couple ideas that I believe in.

Be respectful toward your partner, be honest, be intimate, communicate, and have fun. There is something about laughing together that makes me feel connected to her.

Chad
My two cents :)

So very true. Actually, I read something about this in a magazine recently. Love this idea. It works.

That's sweet. I love that. I used to argue a lot with my ex husband. One day when we were both really mad with each other I just slapped him on the backside and he slapped me back on mine. It's impossible to stay angry with someone when you have smacked each other on the bum. It's too ridiculous. Plus it releases the pent up frustration. Don't think that would be for everyone but it worked for us.

We're both quite hot headed and often when we argue now and it gets heated and shouting we just stop and hug and say sorry. Years ago it might be 2 days before it would get to making up hug but now it's usually within about a minute. That's something that has come with knowing each other a long time and knowing we're as bad as each other and that we care about each other regardless of emotional outbursts.

WHEN SHE COMES TO VISIT......
Have flowers in the bedroom .......
Have some of her favorite foods and wine in the fridge, in the cupboard......
Have fresh sheets on the bed.......


When you kiss her, kiss her like she is meant to be kissed......
Love her as she is meant to be loved........
Remind her how beautiful she is, especially on those days that she is having a rough day....

I know I want to hold her all the time and not let her go but make sure you hold her first thing in the morning and last thing at night.....

Alright enough for now, *sigh* missing my girl (f) even more so now.....but hope to see her in a couple of weeks ....... I love you SS (f) xo

Be this ...
 

honest
honest
honest

And by the way, omitting things/parts is a form of deception. I call it exactly what it is ... which is lying.

Totally agree.

responding to Nic's post
 

Must add, I love Nic's post also. It is great.

Thanks for sharing it!

Call me, ask me what I would do, then do the opposite. :)

How many times can I rep the above post? Seriously. None of this "I lied out of love or to spare your feelings" cr@p either. What that usually means is you are justifying your own misbehavior. At the very least you don't respect me enough to think I can handle my own emotions and make my own decisions based on the truth. Liars are just manipulators who haven't grown up enough to be in adult relationships. Give me hard truth any day because we can build something solid on that.

Katniss~~

You took the words right out of my mouth !!! AMEN !!!

Be willing to make her coffee and bring it to her in bed...the rewards for this are countless :D

CIJS here ... bull crap, bull crap, bull crap.

Look into her eyes everyday. Its the little things that lead to the big things

At the end of of this month is my 5th wedding anniversary. What makes it work with us is being able to tell one another everything and I do mean everything. You have to have trust in your other half. If you don't then it isn't going to last.

I agree, Brock.
 

Seems too often I'm disappointed by the lack of honesty.

First be honest with yourself.
Then be honest with the other person.

It's like what they tell you when you fly; put your own oxygen mask on first.

Pay attention when she speaks to you, look at her, into her eyes.

Do YOUR work!

Heal yourself.
Know how to give *yourself* everything that you need.
Be accountable for your patterns, your progress and your fuck-ups.
Love yourself, be proud of how far you've come.
Strive to be the strongest, healthiest, best version of yourself.

NEVER stop doing YOUR work.

Talk things out, don't hold them in. I am getting better at this :)

I am not sure if there is a "What NOT to do in a relationship" but NEVER, EVER, call her a derogatory name, no matter how angry you get. If I were to come to disrespect my lady like that, then the relationship is not meant to be. In my mind, if it happens once, good chance it will happen again. Thankfully it has never happened :) And I do not ever see it happening.

Yes there is a what not to do thread- thats what spawned this one!

Want to second this. Call a woman a derogatory name and she hears it in her heads for the rest of her lives. No matter how much time has passed or how stupid she knows it was that you did it or how many "reasonable explanations" you offer. (IMO, there isn't one.)

Not fair of me to limit it to women so how about just don't call anyone you "love" a derogatory name.

Accept that sometimes no matter what you do, you have no control over the outcome.

In 56 years I have yet to meet or know a person who is "honest". So don't even start the "be honest" parade. Instead of focusing on others focus on your own actions attitudes expectations beliefs etc. I have learned that people will only expose themselves when they have reached THEIR OWN level of trust and safety with another person. Not when YOU DECIDE they should open themselves up to your scrutiny.

YOU (the collective you) are not judge and jury of the other parties level of comfort safety integrity nor in charge of how they experience their lives or deal with their personal issues.

The only person you have a right to examine for flaws is yourself.

The battle cry for "honesty" is moot in the face of lies we tell and believe about ourselves.

Our only option is to decide whether to believe what we are told.

Ask yourself - Is that a story that could be true?

That's what I was saying.

And I think being self-honest takes lifelong effort, or at least for me it does. "Know yourself," is another way to say it.

Ten years with Red has worked because we love for the past, the now and the future. We have been through a lot and learned a lot. Relationships are not easy, but when you find the right person every ounce of sweat and tears is worth it.

do things together. plan, plan, plan. picnics. walks after dark. wake up to see the sunrise on the weekend. do projects together. like build a treehouse (or just a "loft", no tree) without a roof. better to see the stars. the moon. the moon behind the clouds. inspire each other with plans.

Make her laugh, and not just AT you...

I no longer have any idea. I know what I like and need. I know what I enjoy doing and what I can't do.

but other than that, I'm kind of at "fuck it."
I sincerely no longer know anything.
And I'm kind of ok with it.

Don't have so many expectations of what a significant other or relationship should be that you forget to enjoy each other and all those wonderful moments that really matter :)