Emotionally worn out. Emotionally drained. Mentally scattered. Thanks to my mother.

I feel like a walking Tsunami. Our family is working hard to establish our new normal without my brother and it is very painful. I'm just putting everything I've got into my nephews and trying to make it through every work day. I'm pretty sure I've ended my marriage at the same time. Everything is a mess.

I'm so sorry for all of you. That is so sad and physically traumatic.

great news, Besame - glad it worked out well
 

I have some good stuff to report. I had a terrific day with sciatic leg and buttcheek pain until after lunch. I am appreciative of anything.

I was around the back of the building walking on concrete without my rollator and practicing trying to walk normal. I was hobbling a tiny bit but so what ... it thrilled me! I have not walked so well in over a year. I know the back surgery is not avoidable but still to get a half day away from bad pain was great.

Oh ... and I fantasized all morning if I could just hold her, kiss and cuddle her just one time. Of course it will not happen but it gave my spirits a huge lift.

So I had 2 good things going on this morning. :)

I have to report this. It is 3:30 in the afternoon and only a tiny bit limpy-gimpy! Sciatic pain is not worth mentioning.

I am so amazed and so happy! Very humble and thankful too. I am thinking I will not have to stay in bed all weekend. :)

Feeling on top of the world!
(somersaulting on my way out of this thread)

Happy Friday to All!!

I'm feeling committed and shattered.

Four years ago today I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Usually on this day I take the day off of work and live life to the fullest. I will do that again today. I just have to push myself harder to do so. I took the day off. I will leave shortly for a bike ride, even though it is cold and raining. Then I will go see my daughter because she has her convocation to the honors program at her college tonight and I am so proud of her. I am committing to training well for an upcoming 250 mile fundraiser bike ride for young women facing breast cancer. I am putting one foot in front of the other.

Happy. The roofers are done for the day, Monte no longer on high alert is napping peacefully giving me a much needed break. The weather is as close to perfect as nature can get. Just two more days till direct deposit hits the bank and one of those days is already partially over. Since there's a bit of a slight breeze today the place is cool enough for me to warm dinner in the oven, so no real cooking involved. :) It's a really good day.

Me too, FSF, I had a pretty good day. The weather here is so beautiful, too.

I'm feeling pretty cheerful tonight. Which is so nice. :balloon:

Spent three hours today, and similar time yesterday writing in my submissive journal in attempt to chill from techno-domination. My primary email address company thought it had been hacked simply because I logged on from a different device. Also, forgot my FB pw as it's memorized on the primary email site. FB had instructions to resolve the issue, but none of them worked for me. Main obstacle is not having a smart phone or any cell service to receive a text code.

End story is that I now have a second new main email address, and a brand new, squeaky clean FB acct without all my friend and group contacts. Starting over from scratch replacing three years of activity. All of my friends are online. Haven't seen many of them in decades. We, nonetheless, stay in contact based on similar interests or proclivities.

So, I lost contact with all of the support system, save my Dom. TG for Her!
Also, should add those of you who know me here.
It'll get patched up, but for a few hours it was touch and go through a rare panic and crying jag.

Gemme
 

Gemme with your spot-on sense of humor, and your incredible
work ethic...I take my hat off to you, much respect (f).

Greco

...OUCH :toothache:

Fantastic! I've been watching Unforgettable Golden Buzzer Moments On America's Got Talent. Sometimes it's so nice, refreshing in the middle of this shit storm thing called life, to just sit back, watch people doing their all out level best and then being so happy to see the reaction they're getting from others. I need to watch more of this sort of thing and less of the news, addictively as I do.

Tired. Will work this weekend and the next. Am glad to have a job I like, but am tired of this conversion project. We have a new internet platform and are moving EVERYTHING to it. Been working on this since early March. Our initial deadline was for March 29 (Har!) and that's been stretched out till May 7, but my work won't be complete till later in May.

I need a few days off for some doctor appts I need to make for mammos and other things old folks need.

Happy that I have not gained any weight during this conversion project, but I'm gonna go to In and Out today for a burger. I might get a protein burger, but I might get the buns.

That's how I'm feeling. Could be better, but could be a lot worse.

:pursebee:

Really, really good!

Feeling good today since the nuclear stress test is over. Will get an MRI tomorrow on both lumbar region and the region above it.

On Friday, I will meet doctor at Cardiovascular place. He will discuss results of electricardiogram, ECHO test and the one today (nuclear stress test.) There was a little twitch or something on the heart test in new doctors office mid April and she had to go all out. I don't think it is anything at all. Really!


All I have left is 2 appts with Kidney specialist is June, one for tests, the other one for discussing tests plus a chest parts squisher. Oh please! I am really so tired of my parts being handled by so many people!! I dodged it for 12 years but did go on and do that damn colonoscopy. I lost a body part in round one of the gatorade drinking. Yea, blew my poor butthole right off. It is still circling the moon. That is hella violent medical test. :( The doctor said everything is fine and I will not need it done again for 10 years.

Knocking them out. I guess it is good to get everything ready for back surgery. Course I have blown my leave down pretty low. Maybe surgery in NOV or DEC?? HA!

Soon as the MRI is done, I send it to my back surgeon. In 3 weeks, he will give me appt to come see him for first time. He is a 2 hour drive out of town. He runs in category of top U.S. surgeons so I feel good about my doctor selection. :)

Rock n Roll, let's do it!!! ;)

F A N T A S T I C..........:hangloose:

Very conflicted!

My heart is saying one thing, my brain says another.

Met with doctor at cardiology center ... he said all tests were fine and could schedule back surgery whenever I wanted ... all that leave I used ... I am down to about 10 or 15 hours leave I think (afraid to look right now) ... don't get me wrong, very happy test results said my heart is okay ... did talk to the nurse who helped me before I saw the doctor ... mentioned my back surgeon's name and the nurse said he fixed her sister's bulging discs several years ago ... the surgery was a success and her sister has not experienced any problems ... I liked hearing that info! :)

whoooo hoooo
Happy Weekend to Everyone!

like crap. :crap: that is all.

taking Pete and becoming a hermit
:deepthoughts:

:ohm:

:vigil:

I am sore. I am sore all over my body. I am sore from staying in one place for too long: we move to a higher elevation in 2 weeks, and being here for 8 months has made me lazy!

After “spreading out” for 8 months, I have to get us repacked for the move while my Kasey works.

:fastdraq: damn I hate a whiner!

Relieved. I couldn't remember which video recommend which cream for feet post chemical bake, blindly tried the one I had most of and lucky guess – it worked! The tops of my feet are still scalded however no more pain and no need to ditch non-prescription route/go for something stronger. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday so if it's not resolved by then I'll be in good hands, seen by someone who will know what to do.

Feeling good today .... slowly mowing lawns ...

(trying to ignore heat and humidity)

Still very tired!

Guilty, how stupid. At my age I should be able to stay up past midnight without feeling like I've done something bad. It's not like I've been out drinking like a fish, stumbled home drunk at three in the morning/have to be to work by five and small children's lives are depending on me. Well, I guess fish don't actually drink, but still.

Accomplished and hungry.

Aggravated.

Harris County needs to stop sending me jury summons. And they need to keep records as well, I'm a caregiver, I am exempt from going to jury summons, you dumbasses in office. Also it's a waste of paper and other resources.