Davenport (couch)

You can't get blood from a turnip.

Which leads into....

I didn't just fall off the turnip truck.

I heard 'beat my mug' more.

:)

....til the cows come home.

Nice one!!!

Time to Red the table

(means clear off the table after supper,people in my fam still say it.....)

I don't know how "old-fashioned" this is but it is disturbingly hilarious!

This 1 isn't really old fashion but it made me laugh out loud when I thought of it.
" I'm rubber you're glue, anything you say bounces off me and sticks to you." ;-)

My grandmother called the sofa a davenport. We would mock her and call it a diving board and take off running and dive onto it. When she wasn't watching of course. Which reminds me, don't ever dive face first onto a sofa with those clear plastic covers on them. Always hit shirt or socks first. When you hit face (skin)first you tend to stop way faster than you were expecting to. Don't ask me how I know.;-)

I forgot what I was going to say; must've been a lie.

It's colder than a well diggers ass crack, out here.

"mickey mouse around"

"Up yonder"

"Out on the back 40"
(Riding the property line)

"Keeping company"
(Courting)

"Oh, my stars!"

Or...

"Goodness, Gracious"

Colder than a witch's tit in a brass brassiere. (My grandma felt the more colorful a saying, the better.)

Birdgit! (My grandma's most succinct saying.)

Icebox

Peddle-pushers

Smitten

Rouge

Pancake Makeup

Dungarees

galoshes

"... please, allow me. If you don't mind, I really would prefer not to go "dutch" ..."