Hugs...Hugs...Hugs
Getting through the pain ain't pretty....but it is pretty great. Keep your optimism... You're on the right track ... You're exactly right you are a survivor and you just need to shake the pain. I don't think you ever forget, but for me it more like just a memory without the emotional (at least for the most part)... evry once in a while it creeps back but it stays for shorter times now... Blessing to you on your journey.

no...they...are not all the same.
and i resent my sufferings being grouped as general experiences.

I think we can say that some of the symptoms of PTSD are the same even if the original trauma is different.

Whether it be abuse, war, bombs, loss, a traumatic event....whatever it is, we end up learning coping skills to get us through, to keep ourselves alive...then, when the actual event (or events) is over, we still have those hyper aware coping mechanisms we had to use to survive which do not necessarily work well in every day life.

Everyone has their own hell, but many of the symptoms of that hell manifest in similar ways. It is our bodies response to abnormal situations.

Symptoms like:

Re-experiencing the traumatic event
Intrusive, upsetting memories of the event
Flashbacks (acting or feeling like the event is happening again)
Nightmares (either of the event or of other frightening things)
Feelings of intense distress when reminded of the trauma
Intense physical reactions to reminders of the event (e.g. pounding heart, rapid breathing, nausea, muscle tension, sweating)
Avoiding activities, places, thoughts, or feelings that remind you of the trauma
Inability to remember important aspects of the trauma
Loss of interest in activities and life in general
Feeling detached from others and emotionally numb
Sense of a limited future (you don’t expect to live a normal life span, get married, have a career)
Difficulty falling or staying asleep
Irritability or outbursts of anger
Difficulty concentrating
Hyper vigilance (on constant “red alert”)
Feeling jumpy and easily startled
Anger and irritability
Guilt, shame, or self-blame
Substance abuse
Depression and hopelessness
Suicidal thoughts and feelings
Feeling alienated and alone
Feelings of mistrust and betrayal
Headaches, stomach problems, chest pain

I have many of these. For example, it never occurred to me I would live to be 46. Never for one second.

I am hyper vigilant and very easily startled. I have had substance issues, depression, thoughts of suicide, anger, stomach, head and chest pain, I relive some of the traumas over and over, guilt, feeling of detachment, sleep problems, muscle tension, breathing issues, nausea, self blame, guilt, guilt, guilt, flashbacks intense physical reactions and more.

The Brain Spotting (in therapy) is intense, but seems to be helping. We started walking after work. I hope I can keep it up. I need to exercise and to get out more other than work.

No ones walk is alike, agreed! But we do have enough in common to understand and be here for each other when we can.

I have been so jumpy.

I know it makes people feel strange around me when every little movement almost makes me scream. I am hoping that getting some exercise will help.

I am kind of worried about this weekend, lot's of social obligations. I so hope everything goes smoothly and I don't get overwhelmed.

I am especially excited that I get to meet Princess4u tomorrow evening!

I was just over on the "Do You Remember" thread.

It's funny how you can be the same age as someone else and they experienced childhood in such a different through rose glasses way. The world was safe, everything was happy and easy and good and bright...

The world has never been safe. There were no good ole days.

I hope that this weekend goes smoothly for you too hun!

You get to meet Princess4u? No fair, I wanna meet her too :(

Its pretty amazing how everyone grows up differently, and how we all have a completely different view of how things were at any given time in life

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
 

WHAT DOES POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER MEAN?

Post is the Latin word for "after".

Trauma is the German word for "nightmare", but in English, it is used for any kind of injury, physical or psychological.

Stress is a force that changes the shape of things (including people).

Disorder refers to things that are a problem in a person's life now.

To understand PTSD, it is necessary to tell two stories.

Once upon a time, several blind men wanted to understand about elephants.

An elephant was brought to them, and they all approached it from different directions.

One felt the tail, and said "an elephant is like a rope"!

Another found a leg, and said, "no, an elephant is like a tree trunk".

A third walked into the side of the elephant, and said, "really, an elephant is like a wall .

Others found the ear, the trunk, a tusk, and each felt his part of the elephant was the real elephant.

Each blind man was right about his part of the elephant, but none of them really understood about elephants.
The story of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is similar.

PTSD was first recognized after the American Civil War. Doctors noticed that some soldiers who had been in heavy combat complained of having attacks of fast heartbeat, chest pain, difficulty breathing, and fear that they were dying or going crazy.

The symptoms were similar to heart attacks. Not having the scientific equipment to investigate further, they assumed the attacks were a form of heart disease. They called it "soldiers' heart".

We now know the attacks are not heart disease. They result from rushes of adrenalin, triggered by bad memories or nightmares.

A few years after the war, most people forgot about the problem, but the part of the elephant they had found was real.

World War I was the first time very large numbers of explosive shells were used in battle.

It was noticed that some combat veterans, afterward, had trouble with feeling somewhat dazed or confused, and with poor concentration and memory.

This seemed similar to what happened in many brain injuries. It was thought that the concussions of the shells caused tiny spots of bleeding in the brain. They called it "shell shock".

Eventually, a lot of autopsies were done on soldiers who had died of other causes, and no such bleeding was found. It was recognized that the symptoms resulted from extreme stress, not brain damage.

It should be remembered that many people with PTSD, especially from child abuse and domestic violence, have had damage from blows to the head. Both symptoms of brain injury and effects of overwhelming stress may be present in the same person.

A few years after the war, the matter was again dropped, but they had found another part of the elephant.

When World War II came, it took until June of 1944 to redevelop the treatment methods used in 1918.

In that war, they learned two important things. The severity of a person's symptoms was directly related to how much stress he or she had undergone, over how much time.

It was calculated that of 100 men in continuous combat, every single one would break down within 189 days. They called it "combat fatigue", or "combat exhaustion".

It also became clear that there is no such thing as a stress-proof person. Certainly some people break before others, but with enough stress and enough time, everybody breaks. They had another part of the elephant.

After World War II, it was assumed (never investigated, just assumed) that symptoms of traumatic stress went away in 6 months or a year, after the war was over. They were greatly mystified at the large number of alcoholics who came out of that war.

Only after the Vietnam War did it become clear that PTSD symptoms could appear at any time, during or after the war. The symptoms could go on, better or worse from time-to-time, all of a person's life.

The severity of the symptoms is influenced by how much emotional support a person has available during and after trauma.

Veterans of an unpopular war, such as Vietnam, were clearly affected by the fact that nobody wanted to talk about it later.

Survivors of child abuse and domestic violence are more severely affected because family or friends, who normally would provide support, are the perpetrators of the violence.

In the late 1970's feminist writers began publicizing the fact that far more child abuse, sexual abuse, and domestic violence were occurring than previously admitted.

Studies began to reveal that domestic violence is a problem in about 25% of all families, regardless of race, religion, income or education. About 16% of all girls and 8% of all boys are sexually abused before the age of 18 years. Rapes reported to the authorities may represent less than 10% of those that actually occur. About 10% of the adult population is alcoholic. Inclusion of other abusable substances may raise the figure to double that.

Very few people are directly involved in wars, but most people have a family.

Unlike in times past, the feminists and Vietnam veterans have not shut up and gone away. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is now an official diagnosis in the diagnostic and statistical manual.

Consciously or unconsciously, the brain remembers everything. Trauma really happens, and it changes who you are. You cannot seriously hurt human beings and expect them to forget it and be alright afterwards.

People who have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder often worry about whether they are "crazy".

The word "psychotic" (or crazy) usually means experiencing or believing things that are not real: being "out of touch with reality".

People with PTSD's have essentially the opposite problem. They are in too much contact with reality, and in contact with realities that most people have the privilege of not knowing about.

It is just as possible to be sick from too much contact with reality, as from not enough.


This is a great article on PTSD from the Lola Greene Baldwin Foundation. If you want to read the entire article, then go to:

http://www.prostitutionrecovery.org/ptsd.html

I have done a lot of research on PTSD and this is a good one! It does a lot of comparison to war veterans and survivors of domestic violence, child abuse, etc. as examples of some of the ways that people can have traumatic experiences, resulting in PTSD.
:aslIloveyou:

I'm not posting much having been traveling through my trauma. It's not over. I don't have much of an appetite or desire to do much, but I've just showered and eaten something and I wanted to touch base. I have the feeling I won't be around much; I can't say for sure how I'll feel in the coming days.

I'm going to change. I don't know how, but I feel it—as though my personality or person is going to change. I fear it more than anything and all i know, as I write this, is that I'm in the hands of God.

Take care everyone. Say prayers, for me and for all of us and I will too.


(sharing my favorite prayer)

Memorare
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone
who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence,I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come,
before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

I love you Blessed Mother. No matter what happens, remember me.

Let nothing afright me —St. Theresa of Liseux

The weekend was so much fun, I did get overwhelmed a bit with noise, but we went home when I was ready, so all is well.

I not only got to meet Princess4u, but also Spirit Dancer!!! It was so cool. I think they had little time to talk to anyone else cause I monopolized them. :)

Jason, thank you so much for that post! Very informative. Some people even have both, childhood trauma and being around a war as children. Can you imagine the pain kids in Haiti, Iraq and Afghanistan will face.

Jet, sending you healing vibes!

Lil Shug, we miss you! so great to hear from you!

Glad to see your post Shug, glad all is well and hopefully you had a peaceful weekend :)

I'm still so jealous that you got to meet Princess (and Spirit for that matter) but I am so glad that things went well and that you all had such a good time :gossip:

Yes, although I am glad that some ppl are blessed to not know the type of pain many of us here have had to endured. I kept looking at that thread and wanting to post...unable to find anything to say positive. I have to say that I think everyone has to endure hardships of some sort...and they affect us all in different ways. We are left with emotional scars and open wounds which may never heal. Let's hope that those folks never have to endure this type of life long pain and torture...I for one find a happiness in that possibly someone didnt have to endure the type of life I have. But I sure would like to be able to post something positive in that thread. Love ya sista!!!!

I keep posting the truth in there.

There has always been crime, drugs, sad hurt people, pain, PTSD, mental illness.

If they keep it up someone hold me back from posting photos of people like us getting lobotomies.

Having a badddddd loooow day, so sorry.

On a lite note, you are adorable and I hope we can hang out some more real soon :rrose:

Hi All
 

So glad you had fun my friend!

I so agree about abusers. When my little nephew was 4, he would not let my father come to his little lemonade stand, he said he did nto like him. That gave me such peace, that if a 4 year old can see he is not a good person, then I am not as crazy as I though.

TU! BTW, my nephews name is Andrew too. :)

Hey there! xoxox

Who says that and in what context?

Not knowing details all I can come up with is that it is often easier for people to discount that which they do not understand.