Truly, my own heartaches for all the heartache I read of here. I went no contact with my own mother for the last year of her life {not that I knew it would be her last at the time} after a lifetime of narcissistic abuse it was the best decision I ever made. I should of done it years before. That said she has been dead 10 years now and as a middle aged woman who has survived more than my fair share of lifes troubles I am still scared of her.....still. Such are the long lasting effects of an abusive childhood. They say the best revenge {if thats what is needed} is to live a good life and thrive, I try, some days are harder and than others. Let your inner voice speak to yourself with kindness, you deserve it. :bunchflowers:

Caregivers
 

I am struggling to find balance these days.

My dad raised me to be a provider and handyman. Work ethic was rule number one in my dad's eyes. I can fix mom's car, fix her home, take care of her yard work but caregiver is not easy for me.

I will do the best that I can with my limited experience and ask for help when needed. Asking for help is hard but it will become necessary somtimes.

My goal is to keep mom healthy and happy.

Crazy it is dee, it always amazes me how we manage to be so manipulated and made to feel such guilt for the slightest thing by someone who feels not an ounce of guilt for the endless distress they inflict on us.

My mom and I spoke and at the time isn't think she heard me but she did.

She spoke with both my brothers and told them that once a month one of them would be coming to stay with her so I could have some time. She also agreed that when my gf is in town we get at least one day to ourselves.

Now let's see how it pans out

Oh this could be good!

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


O both brothers showed up today to help me move my stuff out of my apartment and back to storage.

My baby brothers car broke down( how convenient). My middle brother, his wife and Momma took him home. I was left alone at home. Seems the family meeting we were going to have just evaporated, however I made sure to have a talk with each bother and momma was there. Seems she has told them when I wasn't there that I only needed 2-3 hours once a month. I made sure they were told that wasn't true. My baby brother has a chip on his shoulder about having to come down and spend a weekend every other month.

Funny how my mom was complaining about the drive from here to Atlanta and back here however she got really ticked when it was suggested that she stay home to take M back home. So everyone agreed to let her go.

She has called me 3 times since they have left been gone about 3 hours. I asked her are yall going to dinner her answer not yet. I said ok but are you. She just couldn't tell me without making a big deal out of it. I told her I just wanted to know so I could go get something to eat. She finally said yes they were.

I can see now that if things don't change I wont be here long. I am starting to feel like this was everyones plan without letting me know All that does is make me feel used.

Caregivers
 

Today's lunch with mom has me concerned. She was an hour early for lunch, she keeps getting time mixed up and missing doctor appointments, and today she created alternate facts about a trip that we took.

I am concerned.

:sigh:

I can relate Chad ...It's so hard to watch parents as they age. We tend to remember them from our child's eye.

My brothers are having this problem. I cant get them to understand she isn't the Mom we had 10 years ago hell even 2 years ago.

I am hoping that they see it

That is a worry. When I was in a similar situation I found the challenge was to work out of it was par for the course as my Father aged or if it was the first signs of dementia. All I could really do was watch and wait and offer support when needed. It always amazes me how the years can take their toll on some and others stay bright as a button to the very end. Life is a lottery.

Thank you, I need to plan for a better situation with mom.
She lives alone and that will become an issue soon.

I see, that must be a constant worry for you. I hope you find a solution that keeps her safe and you both happy.

Thank you, it is hard but I am strong.

UPDATE!

My mom hasn't even slept in the new place yet. Has decided she hates it there. She is settled in to my Aunt's house, who has told my sister she needs to go to her apartment. (We warned her!)

Todays call was that she is lonely and depressed, and misses her friends. All the things i told her would happen if she moved there.

i think she wants me to *fix it*.... i can't fix this.

Thank you Dee, I am pondering all this.

[quote=girl_dee;1153136][COLOR="Navy"]This cannot be much fun for you. So sorry!

Pardon me, I made a mistake.