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What NOT to do in a relationship....
Don't lose who YOU are in who you are together. Have separate interests and activities and SOMEONE who understands, appreciates, and RESPECTS this.
Don't CHANGE who you are for that person. Don't be someone you are not or cannot be/become. We all strive to be the best versions of ourselves, but stay the natural course of your life. Row your own boat and hope they are on the same route and not prone to seasickness. ... But be willing to hold her hair out of the way and rub her back if she is. |
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...to get in one when your not ready!
I've been patient...waited...looked at me! My time is coming. |
Don't forget to listen with your heart.
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Don't forget your own worth!
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Because without trust, you've got nothing ...
Never use sensitive issues, thoughts or ideas that have been shared in an intimate and trusting venue, against the sharer. It's awful, and will surely make one party feel emotionally unsafe. And, if that happens, all bets are off (the relationship too).
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Don't be a dick! :fastdraq:
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Quote:
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Not
1) blame someone for your behavior 2) assume 3)fail to listen to what they need 4) play the victim 5) get others involved 6) intentionally hurt them 7) try to get them angry
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Don't assume. Give the other person the opportunity to show you who they are.
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Folks -
We are getting reports about some of the language being used in here. Can we please dispense with the "douchebags" and "dicks"? Here is the thing about language on this website: Cursing is fine, but we need folks to be a lot more thoughtful about using gendered language. This thread has HUGE potential to be used for negativity so folks need to be super careful about what they post. I dont want to see this thread shut down. Thanks |
Do not.....take them for granted or treat them as "less than".
Do not......miss an opportunity to tell them how you feel, or even give them a compliment or a positive affirmation. |
Remember to use your best manners... it shows respect to others...
to be helpful ... it shows a caring nature ... to be forgiving... it shows you know how to spend your time together.... together |
Never text serious conversations.
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Don't ignore your intuition.
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Don't stop saying "I love you"
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don't forget to say you are sorry ~
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Use your words.
Never use the phrase "I'm fine".
When you say it, you're rarely 'fine'. So, why not speak the truth. Tell your lover exactly what you're feeling. They're (most likely) not a mind reader. And, when you use 'fine', in my estimation, you're simply saying go to hell or something a bit more unsavory ... |
Don't lose yourself. If your partner can't appreciate who you are, keep it moving.:)
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Don't lose sight of your limits. Don't be unclear when expressing them. Do not fault someone for pushing them too firmly if they've not been clearly delineated. (All of this presumes you know your limits and does not speak to those limits that sometimes spring up and punch us in the neck sans warning.)
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Don't include your partner in major purchases to show a sign of togetherness, like buying a house, unless they are creditworthy and your relationship is solid. :blink:
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Don't be anybody's secret side thing. Don't let your fellow brothers and sisters get played. Be fair. Don't make them do anything you would'nt want done to you. We should be looking out for each other in such a nasty world. Don't ever let cheating be an option. Make sure you've moved on first from your lasr relationship, before you even think about starting to date. If they cheat, they're done. Absolutely no exceptions.
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Eric Clapton once said, "I wish I could love my wife as unconditionally as I love my children."
That quote amazed me. Don't love with conditions. |
Don't put the burden of finances, coming up with cool ideas to keep things fresh, initiating sex, etc... on one person.
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Don't ever talk to, text, call ... me and definitely never show an interest in my life or who's in it
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... disappear.....
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Don't just say you are sorry, explain WHY you are sorry.
Just saying you are sorry does not explain your understanding of what went wrong. Be clear Why you are sorry. "I'm sorry" just does not do it. |
Folks-
I am making the executive decision to close this thread while I review it and create some guidelines about what can and cannot be posted here. This thread has been a headache since the beginning for the Mod team because we have way too many people on this site who have dated other members here who want to talk about what did not work for them in the relationship in ways that are and have been problematic. Look, I want adults to be able to talk about relationships and what we can do better. I actually find it helpful knowing that some of my own triggers are shared by other members here. What I don't want is for folks who break up on this site to use this thread to swipe at one another or make each other feel shitty. And let's face, there are some folks here who have crappy boundaries. I'm not calling out anyone specific here because this isn't about one person, this is about the need to make sure this thread is used in ways that can help better us as individuals and as a community and NOT used in ways that are unhealthy or negative. In the meantime, please do not start another thread with this same theme. My Dad is having surgery tomorrow and I will be out of the loop with him for several days. Please allow me those days to be with him and I will come back with some guidelines for using this thread. Appreciate those of you contributing and let's please all work together to keep this community a healthy and positive one! Thanks, Angie |
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