It's a damned bloody awful feeling and I'm sorry you're living it.

The memorial service of someone very close and dear to me is planned for tomorrow. Some part of me doesn't want to go - as if not going means she isn't gone, or that I don't have to finally cross over that bridge of acceptance - even though I know she is gone, whether there is a memorial service to attend or not. The day of her death I cried all day off and on, at the hospital, and after leaving there. These last few days I've shed a few tears. Tomorrow I know I'm going to fall apart, and I don't want to. It's as if tomorrow marks reality, and I don't want to go there.

My sunshine shadow Miss Maddie has the flu. And she is just a sad little lump on the sofa, covered up with a blanket. My sister said she isn't even talking, she just lays there with a sad little look on her face . Awww.

:( :(

My roommate's big german sheppard is down. He's flipped his stomach. I should have known something was wrong when he didn't bark his big dog bark when we got home last night. His big brown eyes are telling us it's time. Big dog gentle giant, you're breaking my heart.

I miss my Momma D really bad...24+ beautiful loving years with the best Momma anyone could ask for somehow doesn't take away the loneliness of the past year without her.What an amazing woman.

friendships should be easy ~ not taken for granted ~ treasure a friend, they will always be there ~ until pushed away ~

My son had a huge meltdown at the therapist today... tried to hide under the chairs and in a cabnet, banged the chair against a wall, then started throwing things, he tried to run out of the office and when I blocked him he started kicking me repeatedly... its the worst meltdown we have had in a really really long time... and it has made me SO sad.

Severely missing my friends and family, and then just finding out that one of my old mentors died. I'm at a loss for words

OUCH
 

an acquaintance of 20+ years was admitted to the hospital on thursday...she was given 4-6 months to live...pancreatic cancer...long story short she is an alcoholic and the symptoms were missed completely...my daughter is taking it very hard as she was very close to the eldest and middle child of this acquaintance...i pray for peace for her 3 children and peace for her...i am trying not to think about 6 months from now :(

It's been on my mind a lot lately ...especially in the evenings and at bed time when I'm really hurting...
I'm not asking for pitty...

I'm just looking to vent ...

recently my health/mobility issues have gotten much worse...to the point where I fear within a year or less, I will be walker/wheelchair bound...this is an awful dark mental space it's sending me to.

I don't know how to process this fear or how to cope.
What happened to the strength I once prided myself about?

my daughter let me ex into the garage to get some yard tools...as she was gathering things, she told my daughter that one of the cats got outside and was attacked...the vet shaved her belly and she was cut up from head to toe...the vet stitched her up and sent her home hoping for the best...she chewed her stitches and the vet had to sew her up again, then it got infected...that little cat is a survivor because she is fine now :)

this is the second time something close to her was almost taken away...

Tell the ASpCA that she is yours and the neighbor had no right to surrender her

Just found out that I was cheated on by an ex...... Although the "feelings" aren't there, the anger is....

Hearing more bad news about my dad who wont be doing treatments and going through more testing.... knowing that time is short and having to take over for him..... knowing that i have some damn big shoes to fill

I'm sad because...
 

I'm thinking about my mom's next surgery. I'm glad she made a decision, but waiting and worrying will suck. One day at a time.

This did. I really hate people sometimes.
 

One Of Kenya's Legendary 'Tuskers' Is Killed By Poachers
by EYDER PERALTA
June 14, 201411:55 AM ET

http://i1306.photobucket.com/albums/...pse34febde.jpg
Satao was a rare elephant with tusks so big they almost touched the ground.


Kenya is mourning the death of one of its legendary elephants.

Satao was known as a tusker, one of the few remaining elephants whose tusks are so big they almost touch the ground. Unfortunately, Satao faced an end many others have faced before: He was killed by poachers, who mutilated his head to remove his ivory.

The Tsavo Trust, a conservation group in Kenya, says that they spotted a large carcass in early June and while they feared it was Satao, they waited until they could collect more evidence to determine that the carcass was, indeed, Satao.

"Satao was shot dead by poisoned arrow on 30th May 2014," the trust reports. "The arrow had entered his left flank and he stood no chance of survival."

As The Guardian reports, however, Satao had survived an attack once before. In March, Mike Chase, the director of Elephants Without Borders, reported seeing "two seeping wounds on Satao's flank." They were arrow wounds, but despite pain, Satao survived.

Mark Deeble, a wildlife fimmaker, wrote about his encounter with Satao around that period on his blog. He writes that Satao was a rare creature, maybe one of a dozen left in Kenya.

Deeble sat in a metal box for weeks to try to film Satao. When he finally showed up, it was a breathtaking and sad experience. Deeble wrote:

"Initially I thought the sun had reflected off the windscreen of a distant vehicle, but there were no tracks close by. Whatever it was disappeared, then glinted once more. Alert now, it was several minutes before I saw it again. I came to the slow realization that what I was looking at was sunlight reflecting off an elephant's tusks. Gradually, like in the opening scene from 'Lawrence of Arabia', their owner materialized through the shimmering haze. A mirage from the Taru desert — a magnificent, dusty behemoth.
"Other elephants stood sleeping, clustered in the shade of acacias, apparently unaware of the bull's approach. He didn't walk straight to water. It took him almost an hour to cover the final kilometer as he slowly zig-zagged from one bush to another. The glint I'd seen, came whenever he turned his head and appeared to bury it in a bush. Each time he did, he'd wait a few minutes, partially hidden, then continue zig-zagging upwind, scenting the air, to check there wasn't a poacher hidden at the waterhole.
"I was mystified at the bull's poor attempt to hide — until it dawned on me that he wasn't trying to hide his body, he was hiding his tusks. At once, I was incredibly impressed, and incredibly sad — impressed that he should have the understanding that his tusks could put him in danger, but so sad at what that meant."
In the comments of the post, Deeble explains that he initially left Satao's name off his post, to try to protect him from poachers. With Satao's death, he has added it to the headline.

"He was very special," Deeble writes. "If his death can focus the world's attention on the terrible trade in ivory and help end it, then it won't have been in vain."

Link.

made me sad
 

just found out my friend has to battle cancer again .
then my other friend who has worked so hard in the past few years to get her life back together finally got a new car only to have some jerk steal it .

I am missing my parents. My dad was an ass but I still miss him.

sad about the following
 

Casey Kasim
both my dad's watching over me from above on this day for them
not being able to see my kids since Sept

This past friday would have been my little sisters 30th birthday. She has been gone almost 18 years now and I still miss her every day... Happy birthday Amber Beth!

An unpleasant reminder that my painful past will pop up from time to time. I don't want to re-live it.

~ knowing that I was right about a very sensitive situation and then accepting what u once thought to be a very good friendship isn't ! ~

my appointment had to be rescheduled for July... *sighs*

The father that left his 13 month old daughter in the car for 7 hours in 90* heat. I can't get that poor child out of my mind. :(

Too many things- shhh.

My thoughts and love are with you, Wings! I am so sorry you have to go through this. Know I am here if you need anything, just a phone call away...

A longtime friend is moving cross country in the next day or two.

what made you sad today?
 

well after a very long fight with cancer ...my friend finally said goodbye this morning ..a long night of us laughing and opening our hearts to make sure we told each other everything.then cuddling in a hospital bed we fell asleep ..i woke up to watch her sleep she took one huge breathe and a big sign..she passed away in my arms ...may she finally have peace ..xoxo

losing a piece of trust and faith in others......

what made me sad today
 

Well I would have to say it was myself that made me sad since
It was my thoughts
My memories
My damn flashbacks
So yep I was my own worst enemy again today
But hey there is always tomorrow right