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How did the thread get to school?
The spool bus! |
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What's green & fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree onto you?
.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ..........................................A pool table! Hey, the OP did ask for corny! |
Cute but corny
ONLY TWO BABIES ARE IN THE NURSERY AND WHEN THE NURSE GOES OUT THE ONE BABY LIFTS UP HIS HEAD AND IN BABY TALK SAYS HELLO NICE TO SEE YOU I AM A LITTLE BOY BABY. THE OTHER BABY LIFTS UP, LOOKS OVER AND SAYS, HEY, NICE TO MEET YOU TOO, I'M A LITTLE GIRL BABY. FIRST BABY SAYS EHY HOW DO I KNOW FOR SURE YOU ARE A LITTLE GIRL BABY. THE BABY LOOKS AROUND , PULLS DOWN HER BLANKET, PULLS UP HER NIGHTIE AND SAYS SEE......................... PINK BOOTIES
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How do trees get on the internet?......................they log in!
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I love popsicle stick jokes!
Where does the catcher sit for dinner?
Behind the plate! |
Cows is Kansas...
What do you call a grumpy cow? Moo-dy!
What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? Laughing stock! What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument? A Moo-sician! Ks- |
Cows in Kansas...
There are these two country farmers milking their cows.
While the one farmer is milking, a fly zooms into the cows ear. The cow starts jumping around, shaking its head and mooing. He tries to steady the cow and suddenly it settles down. He looks down and sees the fly swimming in the milk pail. He turns to his friend and asks “Golly, how’d that fly get down there so fast?” His friend replies… “IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE UDDER!” Ks- |
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1. What do you call an out of control photographer? A loose Canon
2. You can tell if your gold jewelry is fake by leaving the room and listening to see if talks crap about you to the other jewelry. 3. Taking things literally can lead to confusion, but at the end of the day, 11:59. |
corny enoug ?
here is one I made up after reading a biography about Louis XVI...
what did king Louis XVI say on busy days ? a: "YOU JUST CAN'T GET AHEAD ( a head ) around here ! " original corny goofy silliness from FAS |
Straight from the stick
Why did the fish have a bad report card?
Because all his grades were under "C" What kind of medicine did the bed take? Pill-Os (Pillows) |
Quote:
Hahahahahahaha@number 2. Ahhh; reminds me of when I was a 15 year old, blinging, gold and diamond-encrusted tiara. It was a crazy time for all of us. lol, wow; some of these jokes are really weird in here. I like that. |
Puzzled...
On a shopping trip to the city, a backwoods farmer bought a 24-piece
jigsaw puzzle. He worked on it every night for two weeks. Finally, the puzzle was finished. “Look what I’ve done, Jess,” he said proudly to a visiting neighbor. “That’s surely somethin’, Willard. How long it take you?” “Only two weeks.” “Never done a puzzle myself,” Jess said. “Is two weeks fast?” “Darn tootin’,” Willard said. “Look at the box. It says, ‘From two to four years.'” |
What does a nosey pepper do?
Get jalapeno business! |
Quote:
Hahahaaaaa |
*What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't know and I don't care. *Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common. *How do you make Holy water? Boil the hell out of it. *I wrote a song about a tortilla, actually it was more of a wrap. |
What's a dogs favorite kind of pizza?
Pupperoni |
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer. How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? With a cow-culator. |
Guy: Why ride a rollercoaster when you can ride me?
Girl: Because rollercoasters actually make me scream. A friend has good news for you..... So what's the news? I'm not your friend. That is good news. |
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The illustrator had a sketchy past.
The cab had a checkered past. |
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."
The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?" The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot." |
I tried to catch fog once.
Mist. Why did the scarecrow get a raise? He was outstanding in his field. |
why didnt the skeleton go to the halloween party?
he did not have the guts! |
What do you say when you're comforting a grammar nazi?
There, Their, They're |
Two guys walk into a bar and one yells for the bar tender "Hey jackass get us two beers" They finished, and again- same guy yells out at the bar tender "hey jackass! Get us two more beers"
He downed his beer and left, but the other guy was perplexed as to why the bartender didn't get enraged at someone calling him a jackass..So he asked him..Don't that piss you off when people call you names? The bartender spoke up and said.."Hee Haw, hee haways talk to me that way..:) |
corny jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road? For foul reasons.
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corny jokes
How do you stop a bull from charging? Take away his credit card.
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Why did the elf go to school?
To learn the Elfabet.. |
Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out. :giggle:
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When I was a kid, my English teacher looked my way and asked, "name two pronouns."
I said, "who, me?" |
What disease do you get when you put up the Christmas decorations?
Tinselitus. |
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He checks his calen-deer |
What did the Gingerbread man put on his bed?
Cookie sheets! |
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