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There is a huge amount of change I am going to have to absorb in the next few weeks. Just the latest in a long line of change I have had to deal with at my job in the last two years, especially the last year. I am not on the winning side of this change, and that really saddens me and worries me. I just hope I can ride it out and find something new soon. I used to love my job. I have spent the last 9 years as a media relations professional. A media spokesperson. A mouthpiece, as they call it in my field. But now that is changing. I keep trying to tell myself it's a blessing. It is not the change that freaks me out. I am a highly trained crisis communicator. I usually handle change quite well. It's just the feeling I get of being robbed of something I truly love. But this the career path I chose. And I have to deal with it. Sorry if this is obtuse. Just still finding it hard to discuss.
Jake |
Did I mention that I had to drive back to my job at around 1am and am still here working? :|
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whats on my mind is ... cool whatever
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on my mind...
My son started his first day of middle school today...and part of me wanted to snatch him off the school bus and run away with him. Gotta keep telling myself "Let go momma bear, he's growing up". Sigh...I don't have to LIKE it though, right? |
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Now 4th grade she busts out with stuff im like ...where did she pick that up at :O |
I lived poly for a decade.
Monogamy might be killing my sex drive. She'll positively freak-the-fuck-out if I say this out loud. :seesaw: |
Today two people who I do not know invited me to a "tent revival" going on all weekend. I'm wondering if I have that look about me that I need to be saved.
I may go check it out, despite not being religious, to see what all the hub-bub is about. |
bed. I'm tired!
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Starting from this day forward these are the changes I am making.
Standing up for myself no matter who I piss off (no one on this site) become independent again since I am moving I can get confidence in myself let people know I am an adult treat me as one get my ass back in school and finish my degree make amends with my parents grief the death of my grandma and for once do something for myself instead of everyone else |
I hope the a-hole that tried to run me off the road and actually collided with my truck this morning gets a nice ticket in the mail for leaving the scene of an accident. Yes I got his tag after chasing him down and shouting at him to pull over. Dumb ass refused to share insurance info...doubt he has any anyway. Anyway, I called 911, told them it was a non emergency call but that I'd been in a hit and run accident. In less than five minutes a female officer came to take my statement, and wow she looked good in that uniform! Now see I have a Sheriff's tag on the back of my truck and she was a city cop (cops and their families stick together) so I'm guessing there will be a ticket sent to the bung hole that run me off the road. Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whacha gonna do when they come for you? LOL...
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How far i have come ..
a low esteemed girl, who hid and stuffed everything inside and didn't take the time to deal with any of it, to a girl who now not only works on the issues and forgiveness with strength AND confidence, but a girl who no longer hides and truly lives a life of love & happiness ... with building self esteem, an abundance of self worth and gratitude for all the blessings in her life.. ♥ |
I am so tired I can hardly breath. I am wearing myself down again. Doing too much, getting ready for the new season, worrying myself over some things, dealing with a re-occurance of my shoulder injury,trying to get into a program that will help me go back to work...
for most of you, you could do all this on your lunch break and work your 50 hour week. For me, and my limited energy, I am trying to get things done as well as I can. but no complaints. I can still do it, even if it takes alot out of me. I am still DOING... |
Portland.... .... .......
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Little Rock!!.... ...... .......
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My Abuelita and Reunion...Sad and Happy...
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What if.......
*deep sigh* |
Not understanding makes me....frustrated.
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why the hell cant I do better on Mahjong?
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Whats next ?????????????
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A million things! My mind is racing :|
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So very many things that are overwhelming me right now:
How to find a job faster so I can be with him NOW Once I get an interview, how am I going to arrange that? My vacation time is starting to dwindle Once I get the job, how am I going to get rid of all my stuff to make the move faster and quicker? And what do I really want to take with me? Why have my friends already started to distance themselves bc they know I'm eventually moving? Don't they know I could really use the support right now? On a lighter note...whether I have the right outifts packed for this next trip, bc he loves my clothes and always tells me I'm beautiful. :) Will Takota EVER GROW UP?! |
a person and things that shouldnt be
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BOXING!!!!!!!!! I am going to be sparring with an up and coming female fighter on sunday!!!! Can you say friggin EXCITED!
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I must beat Weatherboi in FF this weekend. Damn, he's 3-0.
:koolaid: |
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MLB play-offs. Well, I cannot tell a lie. Oh, and I have felt desirable lately, even flattered. Hey, that is a big deal! I'm getting up there... Issshhhh...
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It's amazing how far behind the times are in places that are so close to advanced areas. I am talking FAR behind, like decades and even further back. We have smartphones and hybrid cars yet in my county there are people with no electricity or running water in their homes, and it's not because they didn't pay their bills. They just don't have it...not hooked up to the grid and no water lines, and not by their choice.
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How much Cheetos always seems to "hit the spot".
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How much I really miss him today...
and a whole lot of other stuff that seems to be piling up |
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R U being a naughty boi :| |
Watching man v food and wondering how come Adam hasn't gotten really sick yet.
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What an AWESOME experience! I got to spar tonight with the up and coming female fighter. It got moved to tonight and I jumped at the opportunity. I did well, even managed to land a few good shots. I did however feel like a moose on ice skates.... damn she was fast! Took and accidental elbow to my nose, nothing like a little blood to brighten your day. It was an amazing night!!!!!!!
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Currently~
Ice Ice baby.... Recuperating.... Bubble Baths... Cuban Cigar.... That is all :) |
Convos from last night
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HOW in the world can people make a forever commitment to someone they just started dating? Two weeks and you are getting married? 5 days later you are moving in together?
Whatever... |
Sitting at the airport, waiting for my plane to start boarding...what's on my mind? In 3 hours, I will be in his arms, in paradise :)
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What's on my mind at 0320 am? Well, I should be in bed, but here I sit wishing I could sleep. I wish I were in her arms.
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The idiocity of paying consultants 3x what you pay your employees... so that they can gather information from said employees and then give it to you via powerpoint.
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