I have always been uncomfortable, with the typical seventeen inches most folks are comfortable with. I am comfortable hugging only those I know very well. I am extremely uncomfortable in large crowds and rarely subject myself to them.

Thanks for reviving this thread. I've been wanting it lately. I heard some things about ADHD and wanted to share - for others who have it and for those who deal with us regularly.

I heard an interview recently where it was mentioned that people without ADHD have brains that function in beta waves during alert activity and work, but that the front of the ADHD brain tends to function in theta waves (the waves usually found as a person is falling asleep). This helps explain our function impairment but also our abilities to free-associate heavily - which is often something non-adhd people end up doing as they try to fall asleep. Anyway, I hadn't heard this before, but I found it on the Conversations with Mensa podcast show "Taking Control of ADD."

We ADHD folks have trouble with "executive function": categorizing, prioritizing and initiating action. We also have social deficits. We have poor inhibition control / high impulsivity. We don't always understand the *rules* of social interaction or business life. About 50% of us have some OCD symtoms and about 30% of OCD folks have some ADHD symptoms. About 50% of us will struggle with substance abuse issues at some point in our lives. As kids, we're often told that we are not performing to our potential, that we need to apply ourselves more, that we are lazy. The truth is that we are applying ourselves probably twice as hard and our results are half as successful.

I found a diagram once regarding problem-solving and comparing ADHD to Aspergers. Both are neuro-biological and they have both similarities and differences. I would say our similarities are - that we don't always understand the social cues and unwritten rules of conversation and social behavior and often we will be attracted to and collect unusual sets of knowledge. This problem-solving diagram showed something interesting though about our differences. If an ADHD person is presented with a problem, we are very quick to say, "screw this" and abandon whatever it is we are working on. Then, we will work it out in the back of our minds and sometimes we will come back and actually have a greater attention span for fixing the problem to the end. Aspies have a much longer time - longer than non-aspie folks - before they hit the "screw this" stage. That stamina among aspies is extremely effective for Aspies though it may cause them to focus on something counterproductive at some points.

I have a very difficult time with personal space, even sometimes from people I am close to or intimate with. If I am concentrating, overstimulated in any way (visually, emotionally, or auditory etc.) too hot, too cold or pretty much anything other than comfortable and relaxed physical touch is too much for me, it almost hurts and it disrupts my ability to think. I have learned to tolerate the accidental invasions of the people around me (it feels like an invasion often) I try not to get snippy or pull violently away but sometimes I still flinch. (So irritating when trying to appear typical) Even more difficult for me is that from people I love I need to be touched to feel connected. What a shitty conundrum.

Most large crowds are too much for me, I can make myself deal with them (although I usually avoid them) afterword I am very quiet and withdrawn and NEED to be alone for awhile.

Strangely enough I can totally handle a large crowd when I am dancing, there instead of feeling like an invasion or like pain, the touch and movement feel welcome, like I am a part a great writhing joyful unified transcendence. Perhaps because the strong beat unifies everything, or perhaps because when I am dancing I feel completely free and loose like I am in the hot center of being, or perhaps because I have a special relationship with music that over rides everything else.

so much like us-
 

http://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.or...sheldrick.html

this woman amazes me. she developed a formula, after twenty-eight years for these precious babies, which is coconut milk-based.

I'm ADD, my brother is an aspie. I'd love to read this thread but it's too long..

I want to see this!

I have a question...
 

[QUOTE=Andrew, Jr.;331850]
I know I am different. But does anyone else feel _________ when other people in public/private, make obvious remarks or comments that are not so nice about you? I know people will say things that go right over my head. I don't even know that I am to respond or have no clue as to what to say. Sometimes I don't even realize that they are insulting me. I struggle with this.

Does anyone else?


in school, i probably did not notice being bullied so much. there was one time, i was asked to meet some 'friends' at a specific location; right before i left my house, the phone rang with a warning from a trusted friend who found out the intentions of the people were to pick a fight with me. i had totally missed everything related to their plans, and would have shown up at the spot.

that's human though, and not necessarily spectrum related. i do believe i'm not looking for mean spirited people around every corner, and being on-guard 24/7 would totally wear me out. what i can share with you, andrew, about 'not knowing how to respond' is this, please: processing information can take time- sometimes much longer depending upon wiring, the scenario, health, and many other variables. if i am upset and/or very confused- i will not be able to put into words my feelings- i just feel [and the feeling is enough to know things are not right for me]. later on, i can articulate better the circumstances and how i was effected/affected.

it's like when i used to get lost- maybe pass my own house- and would wonder, what was 'wrong' with me? usually, i was having an anxiety/panic attack and it made sense that i was terribly confused. people who are intentionally unkind may use this in their arsenal- someone may bank on their 'target' feeling too confused to respond immediately - if at all. on one hand, it's a good thing :) on the other hand, finding the words- the ones 'perceived' to be the 'right words' can be frustrating if you are needing to be yourself- and just get the words out as an expression of self- in your own way. especially, if you are responding to someone who was unkind [set you up to fail] in the first place!

I am tired today. Tired of the neurotypical with their loud voices, shrieking vocalizations, bright lights, clanging banging hubbub. Tired of their secret code of subtext that is different from what they say and that they penalize you for not understanding that they don't say what they mean, you're just supposed to read their minds. Tired of people standing too close, touching without invitation. Tired of strangers or rather non-intimates prying for emotion. I am tired of people today. I want solitude with my dogs. I want to not talk for a week. Today I am tired.