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this thread has been too quiet!
I have been moving the store around and decorating with autumn ideas. I will get photos in my gallery soon. I had a woman come in and tell me she couldnt wait for winter so she could use clothes to cover up her fat. The tone of self loathing was evident. I smiled at her and said, "but I love you just the way you are and you are lovely and beautiful"...and her eyes welled up. She stayed for about thirty minutes and told me her story...our story...being bullied as a child, tormented for being fat, grabbing the first man who came along, he of course was looking for someone he could control, having kids, gaining more weight, hating her marriage, hating herself... need I go on? I listened. I listen. I hear so many stories. Our stories. I really would love to make a book or a play out of this whole experience. I have a small short vingette I am working on and I think this might grow into the bigger Story... Clothes dont cover up our fat. It feeds our need to deny our Selves and our Bodies. To disconnect and betray. When they come into my store, I help them connect and accept. Lil steps. Like, wearing shirts with short sleeves instead of long ones. Shorts instead of capris. Colors. Prints. Even jewelry becomes an issue. Some women wont wear jewelry. Not because they dont love it. But because they dont want to waste the money on themselves. Someone else should have it. I about near imploded the first time I heard that! Yet, it wasnt the last time sadly. |
Came across this thread and think it's wonderful :D I've always been a biggish girl but the last couple of years I've lost about 3 and a half stone, mainly to feel fitter really. Although now a 'healthy' weight, ever since, I've had troubles with my stomach and digestion, I've had my gallbladder removed as well. Basically it seems the smaller I've become and the healthier I eat, the less well I seem to be most of the time. I'm not suggesting the two are necessarily connected but it does seem coincidental... My twin on the other hand is a curvy size 18 (not sure what that relates to in other countries) and she is much more radiant to look at, laid back, happy and not plagued with health problems :) Big and curvy is definately beautiful ladies :D :D
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my store is being featured in our local town's newspaper with a nice big article with photos!
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I'm SO very excited for you Tia ~ you deserve it darlin :)
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Came across this today
Hey Beautiful Fat Girl --by Rebecca hey beautiful fat girl let's talk of is and isn't i know they call you mother earth earth mother mother but it isn't fecundity i see in the swells of you and your curves are sweet hot sex but i don't call you my fetish don't back-bus you or give you labels to hide my shame i don't love you for your thunderous dancing even as i love the dancing and you and the you of the dancing because you are more than your thighs your size though all the while, they are parts of you too and the shaking inside of me is not subtle when i see you for you move my earth and rattle the stars down around me like a gift like the gift you are |
I found this on the My Fitness Pal forums, and just had to share. Hey, Fat Girl. Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe. You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you. You are awesome. If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others. You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible. You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again. You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration. I bow to you. |
I've had some random thoughts that I think go here :)
First, I'll be right up front: I hate exercise. If I'm trying to lose weight, reshape something or rearrange my body, it ain't happening. With that said, I do enjoy movement. Alone at home, I like putting music on and shaking it all over my living room. I like to walk in the evenings. I actually enjoy hard housework and that feeling of accomplishment in my muscles afterwards. I belong to an inexpensive gym near my home. Last night I thought, "What if you go and do some weight work, but just focus on the feelings in your body?" So I did! I enjoy the little pings in my legs after walking on the treadmills. I like that burn at full extension with a weight, and the release after I return to the start. I like the feel of sweat and stepping outside in the cool air ;). I am such a sensualist. Maybe this is the approach I have to take, and hopefully the benefits will come anyway. Then a little later I was in Wal-Mart, looking for a screwdriver or something totally unsexy. I found myself over in the sleepwear, and went straight to a silky pair of pj pants and a lacy black camisole with flowers all over it. Darn the voices in my head: "That's way too sexy; you're too fat for that". I bought it anyway, wore it last night, and felt like the sex queen of the Universe. But it's hard not looking in the mirror and telling yourself, "Oh well, I'm still fat, not the SQOTU". Why do we do that to ourselves? On another note, has anyone noticed how women's magazines almost always have clothing articles like "Minimize your ass, make yourself look taller (it would take me standing on stilts to do that), flatten your tummy"? Especially around bathing suit season, and whenever jeans articles come out. I'm all for flattering ourselves and feeling good, but sometimes I think it's worth checking out who were really camoflaging ourselves for. I had a thought; what if at Reunion next year, say at the Prom, we tried just a little to wear something that called attention to some part that we have condemned ourselves for? For example, if you don't like your calves, wear something with a slit. If you don't like your bust, find something with ruffles or wear a eye-catching locket. You get the idea. So often I think we imagine we're giant walking tummies or calves or whatever, not realizing that everyone else is self-conscious about something, and the very "flaw" we think we have, someone else finds hotter than hell. I will attest to that. And finally, I LOVE the theme for next year. The pinups of the '30's and 40's were by no means thin by our standards-Marilyn Monroe was a size 16. Betty Grable was not thin, but took the most famous poster of all that time in a bathing suit. How many of us would pose as she did, right now? Jane Russell in a little tied-up shirt, or Rita Hayworth in that nightgown on the bed-erm, okay ;). Makes me wonder why, with all our diets and gyms and fancy workout things, we're so hard on ourselves and actually getting more unhealthy as a country? Those pinups didn't have all that, and all seemed pretty darn happy with their "assets". Interesting that all lived to ripe old age, too. Worth a thought. <3 |
Hi Everyone!
Well as some of you know, struggling with weight a lot in my life and time required resting for health reasons, I have gotten fairly overweight, yes, I think the word "fat" applies. And when I first came in here, my self-loathing over it was pretty severe. No, I am not over it all yet, but I am learning to love myself the way I am, not waiting for some mystical day when I may or may not weigh less. It isn't easy and is foreign to me, in my youth I was more able to get most excess weight off. I didn't mind it on others actually. Just me. I have dated butches who were heavy and thought they looked great. I have had femme friends who were heavy and I thought they looked sexy. Just me, I didn't like it on myself. You have all been so wonderful and such a help. I got some new pants and shirts and may even get a dress. I am going to let myself look good now, not wait. Hey thrift store clothes don't cost that much, no reason to delay. Thanks again, still on my journey. Blessings to you all! |
YA'll make me smile...even when you don't post a whole lot...I know that every day you are out there being You and being awesome!
I had to work 9 then went back to see the folks then worked again, so haven't posted much, but I try to read every day...I try to stay connected with the positive side of my world all the time. Just wanted to say hi tonight... & ya'll are great! |
I just found this thread and I am wondering just why I have missed it before! Wow! I must take the time to go back and re-read as many posts as possible.
I, personally, have been on both sides of the fence when it comes to being "overweight" and "average." What ever that means...lol...I used to NEVER let my pant size dictate how I felt about myself. I actually modeled for JustMySize and Fashion Bug before and rawked the runway, Baybee! Then given the opportunity to adopt a newborn and welcome a son, I stopped being a single, available femme and became "Jacob's Mommy" 24/7. I still watched everything and tried to remain the same size I was year after year. Things changed when I found out I would have to go through chemo, then rounds of steroids took their toll. Now, I have gained some weight and I guess my pant size aint what it used to be and I am definitely feeling the pressure to lose the extra I gained and try to get back to being as healthy as I used to be. I actually want to be healthier than I ever was! I have a 5 year old now...and he is active...I miss not being able to roll around the floor with him and doing the things I used to. Thank you all for remaining "fat positive" cuz deep down inside, I know I am still the beautiful blue-eyed-blond I used to be and I will regain *my* positivism again. |
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I now have three teens volunteering in my store. One has Aspbergers. One is a teen mom from a rape. And one is an extremely overweight gal. (All are very open about themselves and what I just expressed so not disclosing anything they dont openly state themselves.) I have become a magnet for such kids. I have a waiting list of kids who want to volunteer. So, my plans of opening a teen store have been pushed forward.
All these kids know what its like to be singled out and hated. called names. bullied. two are now homeschooled because of all of that. Just like Pretty & Plus is just a front for my real business, which is helping and supporting people and helping them become happy about themselves, the teen store will have the same mission. Everything will be under ten dollars so that all teens can afford something. To work in the store, they will have to work in P&P first, to get the skills under my tutelage and then get promoted to work in the teen store. There will be a steering committee of teens who will develop the store. And the profits will all go to the non profit I support and helped start, the Diva Donations, which loans out homecoming and prom dresses to kids who cant afford to go to proms. They also have a few suits and tuxes too for the teens who wont wear dresses. Call that cool?? I never expected this but its been handed to me by the deity I worship and I have embraced it... |
Miss.Tia Let me say that I am very proud of what you are doing,the benefits of your store are many and so possitive for all who come in contact with you.I do wish we had something like it hear in my town as it is very needed in many plaeces.Congratulations on you successes now and in the furture..Happy autum.
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Today I want to let go of the guilt that I hold for NOT losing the baby fat, the fat that went beyond baby fat, the fat that came back after the diets, the fat that stayed while dieting.
I want to let go not with the intention that if I could somehow then be guiltfree I could then be thin... I want to let go just because it serves me no positive purpose, and weighs more than the fat does, on my soul. |
nycfembbw.....
:rrose:....The inner calm & peace....the pure beauty of everyone in here...of all the threads on the Planet, THIS.is.my.fave. I am proud to grace this place regularly with my "perving".....in.here.resides.the.most.beautiful.s ouls.on.the.planet...this "house" rocks!!
I heart all you truly beautiful souls here!! ALL of you...no gender lines here..we are all embraced! |
How is everyone? Surely we cant be THAT quiet?
I posted new photos of my store in my gallery. Just in case you want to see it in the fall season. So, its a HUGE holiday season coming up. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve. Time to be buying outfits. What are you going to be for Halloween? Does holiday outfit buying unsettle you? What can I do to make it more comfortable for the gals who come to my shop? |
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Oh I love the idea of hot chocolate!! Thank you!!!!
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