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What do you call a cow laying down?
ground beef |
What do you call a bird that just flew into a fan?
Shredded tweet |
Q: What did the magician say to the fisherman??? :giggle:
A: Pick a Cod, Pick a Cod!!! :hk28: |
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Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell Station... Why did the turtle go to the Shell Station? to get some Turtle Wax :cracked: |
why does a chicken coupe have 2 doors?
if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan! |
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It's supposed to say: Q: What do black cats drink in the afternoon? A: Kit-tea! |
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Don't say I didn't warn you, the following jokes may make you go "uggggh"
BUT, come on! admit it! you smiled. :) A jumper cable walks into a bar, the bartender says "Hey! Don't start anything!" A dyslexic man walks into a bra. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car." I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel. |
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/49/1a/cb/4...ey-cartoon.jpg
Q: What happened when the turkey got into a fight? A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him! |
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Why didn’t the pilgrim want to make bread? Because it’s a crummy job.
What kind of music did the pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock Why did the girls let the sweet potato join the band? So they could have a yam session. |
TDay...
Q: Why do pilgrims’ pants keep falling down? A: Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band? A: Because he had the drumsticks Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? A: The outside Ks- |
Tday 2..
Q: Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A: A turkey because it is always stuffed.
Q: Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring? A: Because April showers bring Mayflowers! Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn? A: Where’s popcorn? Ks- |
Tday final....
Do These Turkeys Get Any Bigger?
Just before Thanksgiving, a lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re not alive any more.” Ks- |
What did Santa say to Mrs. Clause when she asked “how’s the weather?”
Rain, dear. |
What do snowmen have for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes |
Knock knock
Who's there? Yule Yule who? Yule never know! |
What do you call an old snowman?
Water ____________________________ How does a Snowman get to work? By icicle ____________________________ |
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter! ks-:) |
What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson! What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments! Why do mummies like Christmas so much? Because of all the wrapping! What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet! What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters? They are always dropping their needles. What does Santa put on his toast? “Jingle Jam” May we all find a bit of humor! Ks- |
Overdue Corny Pick-up Lines. Singles! Try these lines and if the person you are courting laughs .....is a keeper!
* I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way. * Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem Wright, for me. * Even if there wasn't gravity on this Earth, I'd still fall for you. * Is you nickname Chapstick? Because you're the balm! * Do you like Nintendo? Because Wii would look good together. Okay, Okay maybe not laugh out loud laugh, but a smile. Maybe? |
Why does Santa always go down the chimney?
Because it soots him! Where does Santa stay when he’s on holidays? At a Ho-ho-tel! How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house! What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck? A Christmas Quacker! What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ? Santapplause. ks- :clap: |
Cheesy Mouses'
Three mice are sitting around drinking and boasting about their strengths.
The first mouse says, “Mouse traps, Ha! I do push ups with the bar!” The second mouse pulls a pill from his pocket, swallows it, and says with a grin, “D-Con Rat Poison.” The third mouse finishes his drink, slams his glass on the table and starts to leave. The first mouse says, “Where do you think you’re going?” The third mouse replies, “Time to go home and chase the cat.” ks- |
Why did the blanket get arrested?
because it looked quilty 😎 |
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Beef! Its what for dinner..
What happened to the lost cattle?
Nobody’s herd! What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cow? Roost beef! What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk? An udder failure https://www.hayspost.com/2018/01/19/...ts-for-dinner/ Ks- |
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Friday Funnies!
Why did the man tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills. Joe never wanted to believe that his dad was stealing from his job as a road worker, but when he got home, all the signs were there. Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Guitar! Guitar who? Guitar coats, it’s cold outside! TGIF folks :) ks- |
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What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don't look! I'm going to change. |
What did the janitor say when they jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!!! |
What do you call a pig who practices karate?
Pork Chop :flyingpig: |
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