Sigh…. Not pneumonia. Being checked for pulmonary embolism.

Feeling?
 

In the last days I have left in my chat room I was speaking to a woman for a little while and heard nothing for about a week so I emailed and enquired if she did not wish to keep communication going and she answered me by saying I was RUDE.. first time in over 60 yrs I have been called rude and NEEDY. OMG, I am feeling sick to think someone things I am rude and needy, wanting attention. I told her to have a nice Xmas and a good week. End of story. TY for listening.

I’ve been, I guess, suffering from heartbreak in my life. I’ve come down super sick today and cancelled my doctor visits and my class at the gym… I’m staying home and taking care of me. I’ve got some leftover roasted turkey and some vegetables, so home made soup will simmer on the stove today.

*achoooo*

(I need Puffs tissues with lotion, please and thank you)

* cough cough*

Puffs with lotion are the best for frequent blowers. I order them by the case from Amazon.

I'm sorry you're feeling poorly. Hopefully the turkey veg soup will help. Take care.

How are you Feeling.
 

Besame* ty for your kind words. I try to be upright and honest and I certainly never intend to hurt anyone. True, I am Stone but not my heart. I find walking away and biting your tongue is the best way to handle people like that and not give them the satisfaction of an ongoing nonsensical disagreement. Not in my forte. I ty again and appreciate your input. Will you be my girl friend? LOL Oh no, I was rude, sorry. Kidding here, forgive me for needing a chuckle. NOW I am feeling much better.

I've talked to rude and needy people before and they certainly would not have waited a week before checking in if I had gone silent. I'm sorry you had this experience. It doesn't seem she's a good read of character, so, yup. Hope she has a good week.

Sore, exhausted but thankful

How are You Feeling?
 

Well, I went to see Santa today and he asked me "ho ho ho what do you want for Xmas" so, quietly I whispered in his ear. Santa said "ho ho ho, well you aren't gonna get it"!

This is how I feel.

Oh No, Stone,
Cut by Santa, the deepest cut of all.
Whatever it is you want, I hope you get, whether Santa comes through or not.
Bad Santa!
Smooches,
Keri

Like I'm forgetting something important, but I can't think what it is. I have consulted my calendar to no avail.

Bummed out. I was supposed to go to our local LGBTQ group meet and greet today, and I completely forgot it. I slept in and woke up at 3pm, the time when it was supposed to start. I had my whole outfit planned, including a new shirt I bought just for the occasion: it says "LIVE LIFE LIKE A BOOK FLORIDA WOULD BAN" in rainbow Pride colors. I guess I will just have to wear it to our local LGBTQ coffee shop. Hopefully, the local group will meet again soon. I really want to get to know these people.

I'm not feeling great. Definitely coming down with something. Bah. I really don't want to go in to work. Alas, I'm looking for something comfortable to wear and gearing up for the tasks ahead. I have a two hour mandatory training on how to conduct performance evaluations on staff. On zoom. Cameras on. Please everyone, send me your best "stay awake" vibes.

How does my best friend say it?... Happy as a puppy with two tails.

I’m feeling better since last week when I came down with some viral illness, for which I am grateful. But I have lingering sadness and that’s okay, really. When certain people in your family or life pass on (death) or you lose someone you thought you’d never lose (death of a relationship), it’s a challenging task to not cave into feelings of despair and lose hope or sight of better things that might come and help you to feel better. ❤️‍🩹

I’m keeping it simple: one day at a time. Moment by moment, if necessary.

I am feeling ecstatic! I went to my eye surgeon today, and he said that my eye has healed perfectly! I have the same surgery on the other eye two years ago, and I have scarring in it that I will never be able to get rid of. So I was extremely worried That this eye would end up with scarring as well. But not to worry because there is none!
And by pneumonia is going away! They thought I had blood clots, but then they determined it was pneumonia. And the new stronger medication is working!
I can breathe a sigh of relief! I can actually go back to work again! And Christmas will not be ruined!

They don’t think my spouse, my husbutch,the love of my life is going to make it till Christmas. I’m dying inside. This is the absolute hardest thing I have ever done, watching her fade away like this.

I am basking in the glow of another family holiday over, and well done. Everyone was in a good mood and talkative. The toddler and tween behaved well. The white elephant gift exchange was enjoyed by all, and people understood my jokes. The food was not great (I will be leaving a Yelp review) but it was okay. The drinks were flowing and they were reasonably priced and tasty. I've always thought if my family drank, the holidays would go down more easily, and I was proven right. (The older generation were teetotalers, my generation was cautious, but the younger generation drinks openly, so now my generation does too.)

My drink was called a Vampire Barbie - it was bright pink and had edible glitter with fruit. It was also delicious.

I'm so glad it's over! for another year. So in addition to glowing, I'm relieved.

Trepidatious AF

So I did a thing…..

I saw a dog in dire need of rescue. He was set to be euthanized on Monday. I saw him late Saturday, started making calls Sunday. Long story short, no one wanted him because of his medical conditions ( severe dermatitis, alopecia, HW +, malnourished etc) He didn’t have a chance in hell of rescue. And he was not adoptable. He had to be pulled by a rescue. So I made calls and found a rescue.

Cliff notes version: he’s out (yay!!) but now he’s having breathing issues and is spending the night at the vet in Houston.

I feel soooo helpless just waiting for news. He’s getting an X-ray tonight. Hopefully the HW isn’t so progressed that it’s causing CHF. Time will tell.

I almost bought him toys at the store tonight. But I don’t even dare to name him.

Sad. Tired. Disengaged. Hungry. I don't know why. I suspect my antidepressants aren't working any more.

I’ve been trying to not let my feelings have the ‘upper hand’ in my daily life life. Sometimes I feel outrage for those who elected to choose a felon and his uncouth billionaire buddies to occupy offices better equipped with professionals who know how to run the ‘show’. Then I’m also super concerned and fucking scared for those of us who aren’t billionaires. Truly a WTFH moment, if ever there was one before, which I’m sure there has been before. Ages ago, the last time a megalomaniac was elected to power.

I won’t be long before the apocalypse ruins the world as we used to know it.

But I feel like a made a good choice to buy certain things before the punishing tactics of the insane takes over the world and brings it all crashing down.

At least, there is that.

Pretty well. I had two caffeinated drinks today, and that always makes a difference in my mood. Hopefully, I won't have any trouble getting to sleep tonight.

Also, I got a sweet Christmas card from a friend today. It really made my day.

Pupdate!

His X-ray was not great; it showed an enlarged heart and fluid in his lungs. The vet couldn’t tell if it was a bad cold, advanced HW or cancer.
He did say he thought Bowser ( his shelter name) is younger than his intake states. He says he remains in good spirits despite his obvious discomfort.

Two days post iv antibiotics, various topicals and oral steroids, his foster has reported that he is breathing better, walking easily and even wags his tail and plays with her other dogs. He also appears to be cat friendly.

Nothing is 100% certain. It will take months before we know the extent of the HW damage. But he seems to have a lot of fight. And a huge appreciation for
The love he is now showered with.

I’m thinking of calling him Sam…

I woke up really early this morning and crying. I had been dreaming and was missing my Mom.

I was also mad at my sister. I gave her a very simple list of things I wanted from our Mom's house. It has been over a year and she has still not delivered. It's not like I asked for a lot of expensive stuff. I asked for some sentimental stuff, and a few practical things, and I told her exactly where to find most of it. My sister has brought me some of it, but also some stuff I didn't even ask for and surely did not want. (I'm looking at you, painting of an Amish couple with "Welcome to the (last name) home" on it, currently in a trash box.)

I couldn't stop crying, so I got up and ordered an All Star special from the Waffle House that delivers. As I suspected, a pecan waffle made me feel better.

I will have to think of a way to light a fire under my sister. All she thinks about these days is her grandbaby and the next one on the way.

Cinn, I'm rooting for Bowser/Sam! I knew a Bowser (he passed a few years ago) he was a Basset Hound and was the sweetest.

I'm feeling calm. Two days off of work and not an overloaded agenda.

Completely drained. Been a whirlwind.

The move. Seeing the post Helene devastation first hand. Just trying to find some normalcy and homeostasis.

And now I must drive to Houston…that will actually feel relaxing by comparison!

Calm and rested. I had some things to do today, but nothing onerous. Everything is ready for tomorrow. I will get to bed early and am looking forward to a delicious Christmas stollen for breakfast that a friend made for me. I'm looking forward to opening presents, and more importantly to me, watching the boy open his presents. I'm looking forward to eating cookies from my grandmother's recipe - they are traditional every Christmas with us. And I will eat as many as I want and not care one little bit. :)

I'm feeling good. The November/December holiday run, for my primary circle, has completed. Tonight was cooking dinner for my parents with my kiddo and their partner, while listening to good dance music from the 50s and dancing while cooking. There was makeshift swing dancing, while cooking salmon, roasting broccoli, and mashing potatoes. Everyone ate well and then we played a few hands of cards. Now, almost 7pm, My father is safe back at assisted living, mom has a drink and is watching her shows, the kids are home, and I'm getting ready to get back to work early tomorrow morning. Win win win.

Happy and full. The day was full of presents, food, naps and TV. We watched Miracle on 34th Street (the one with Maureen O'Hara, who people used to say I looked like when I was younger and my hair was red) while we ate dinner. I forgot to make the cherry cobbler, but after dinner we were so stuffed we didn't care. There are plenty of sweets around here anyway. I also forgot to open the wine, but since I'm the only one who drinks it, and I'm plenty happy now anyway, it doesn't matter. Life is good. Merry Christmas to everyone!

Awake. It's 3:30 am and I can't sleep. This is supposed to happen on Christmas Eve, not Christmas night! Maybe I should have opened that bottle of wine after all . . .

Tired but happy….

I've been feeling a little down since Christmas. I was feeling kind of guilty about it too, since I had such a good Christmas with friends and family around.

But then I heard a story on NPR about how it is not unusual for some people to get depressed between Christmas and New Year's. People have been running around (sometimes for months), busy, eating treats, seeing friends, and celebrating in general. Now that it's okay to rest, because everything is more or less done, it's hard to change into "relax mode".

This made me feel a little better. And now I'm up for New Year's Eve and the Rose Parade tomorrow and the UGA/Notre Dame game. Tomorrow afternoon I will take a long nap.

Feeling ?
 

I feel like saying HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL in this fine butchfemmeplanet !!!!

Not so great. The crazy terrorists in New Orleans and Las Vegas have really got me down - those poor dead people and their families and friends. My sister has friends who were planning to go to the French Quarter that night, but decided at the last minute to stay in Meridien and go to the Sugar Bowl the next day. Last I heard they were still trying to decide whether to wait an extra day and go to the game, or just safely head back home. Either way, they are fine. But it could so easily have gone a different way. My sister and her husband could easily have decided to go with them. It's too close, just too close.

Not too good physically. I'm losing weight and on the most part it's going well, but it's been rough these last couple days. The crazy fatique started when I reduced my water intake. Guess I shouldn't have done that. I'm hoping some electrolytes will help out to get me back into the swing. If not, I'll call my doctor and see what they recommend.

On the good side, I'm thrilled that the former First Lady, Michelle Obama, has delined her invitation to President-elect Trump's inauguration without explantion. I love that she's not showing up for her man, her President, nor her country. I'm here for this.

I'm excited! My family has a new member - a baby boy. My niece delivered him today at about 12:30 pm. She was showing signs of pre-eclampsia, so they induced her about a month early. But the baby is totally fine, his lungs are fully developed, he doesn't even have to spend any time in NICU. My niece is also totally fine. No pics yet (why doesn't somebody just snap a pic of the kid? it's been hours!) but hopefully soon.

I'm wiped out.

• Work has been very high-stress.
• I'm in the stretch of home buying that is very stressful.
• We got the results of my father's MRI yesterday and it showed signs of a stroke and moderate shrinkage of the brain. He hardly talks anymore. It's so hard to know what he's thinking.
• I'm not sleeping well at all.