I have a panic attack if my vacuum is hurt or not working right:overreaction:

I may have around forty bottles of shampoo and conditioner in my shower.

when I was 21 I had a dream I was peeing and when I woke up from the dream I was actually peeing right in my bed.

I rolled over to the dry spot and cleaned it up when I was more awake.

I may have stored jelly beans in my vajayjay at the age of three.

In kindergarten the toilet was broken and we had to shake the handle so it wouldnt flood. My ADD was so bad I forgot about it. I pooped and flooded the classroom.
The next day I was told I had to go to private school because the teacher was so upset about her poop room.

I love you. :)

When I moved to Vancouver I had to live in my car temporarily while I looked for a job an an apartment. My car was parked in a parkinglot by Jericho Beach. There were actually several cars and vans in that parkinglot full of people doing what I was doing.

Anyway. I was lucky in that most of my bowel-urges happened when I had handy access to the public toilet. Each time but once, in fact. So it's 2am and I have to crap...so I wander into the woods and hug a tree and do what I have to do. Then I wipe with my sock (!!! I forgot to bring tp to the woods, okay?) and tossed my sock aside and went back to the car.

Later that morning I was woken up by some loud hollering and swearing out in the woods. It seems one of the other people who were also car-living....um....stepped in my shit. Barefooted.

I prayed and prayed that he wouldn't recognise my sock.

:mountie:

When I was 20, I got so drunk out at the "power lines" with a bunch of my friends that went and laid down in the bed of someone's truck to try to sleep it off.

When I woke up, I was still in the bed of the truck only now it was daylight, I was burnt to a crisp, and I was in a city 80 miles away. :|

So I dated this person that loved it when I would use a dildo and fuck myself on hys chest. One time we were really going at it hot and heavy and I heard some screaming. I stop only to find out I had slipped forward and was fucking hys eye as well

AWESOME! I love drinking-TMI.

So NYE many many moons ago, I was a very classy lady and double fisting a bottle of vodka and a bottle of creme de cacao. Cuz actually mixing the drinks would have been -way- to complicated at that juncture, if you get my meaning.

Anyway. My friends and I left the house we were partying at and headed for a bar. We hadn't been at the bar 10 minutes when I felt the need to throw up. Instead of going to the bathroom to do it like a good girl, I picked up an empty pintglass off of someones table, filled it with vomit, placed it back on the table, and kept walking like nothing had happened.

Keep it classy, Potty.

I love pee stories!


Im still ashamed of this but I think I should get some points for being creative.

I was 9 and I was spending the night with a friend. I wasn't normally a bedwetter but we had drank so much Mountain Dew before going to bed that I totally pissed the bed that I was sharing with my friend.
I was so embarrassed that I snuck to the kitchen and filled her dogs bowl with warm water and brought it back to bed and poured it on her while she was sleeping.

In the morning I woke her up and told her she had peed the bed and all over me in her sleep.

I may have almost pissed my pants....

:chasingzombie:

One night while going home from karaoke I was so drunk that when the DD flipped around in front of my house to drop me off. Another drunk in the back seat claimed I was going to puke. She opened the door and I fell out under the car.
The next day while sitting on the toilet I wondered why I was naked, and had road rash on my knees, and puke in my hair. Figured I just crawled in the house.
Then I noticed the road rash on my arms. Man I really crawled in the house.
Next, I noticed that my face was road rash, my glasses were still on my face and broken AND My ear was bent the wrong way. What the fuck happened?

I asked said DD what happened? She stated that I tried to die on the ground when I fell out, prayed that the police would find me and shoot me. And they had to carry me in, get the puke off and dumped me in the bed naked.

Not something I was surprised at.

P.s. It was the weekend and I couldn't get into the eye doc. So I had to tape up my glasses.

Has anyone besides me ever driven off with the gas pump handle and destroyed not only the fender of their car but part of the gas pump?

No. You are the only person who has ever done that. /walksawaywhistling

no but i backed into a palm tree--the same tree has been in the same spot for probably 40 years--and i've been acquainted with said tree for almost 3 years with never even a close-call. one day i'm running late and so i punched the gas in reverse--that tree didn't move an inch but my bumper was hanging by a thread.

Has anyone noticed that Medusa's stories are mostly about bodily functions? :blink: