Well, since you're eating crackers made of poor little goldfish then you're obviously not a vegetarian, which rules out the possibility of your being a lesbian, (because everyone knows that lesbians only eat hummus and tabouleh), so...I have to wonder....

Do you only eat goldfish crackers or do you sometimes eat other types of crackers as well (in which case, you must be bi-sexual because everyone knows that bisexuals are indecisive and lack the ability to choose one type of cracker and stick with it)?

Well?

Words

i'll eat them all *weg* ...

not because i'm indecisive ... but because i love them all!!

(you're use of stereotypes is cracking me up!)

so, you're saying you're an omnivore?

ahhahahahahaha lmfao that is hilarious the ones i know can blow louder than i can lol

Big love hate relationship with labels...
 

...on one hand it's is useful to have something to say "in a nutshell this is what I am". Still I don't like the confining feel that comes with them, because whether you like it or not, people are going to use their lens and paint you with their interpretation of your label.

It use to bug the crap out of me... at this point in my life I really don't care as much... I am who I am and those who truly care will take the time to get to know me.

and then some, Mister! ;)

although i do have my faves ...

back to serious again ... i have lately had a lot of folk attempt to slap the "bi-sexual" label on me ... i will fight that tooth and nail!

for some reason, for a lot of people, who you are all comes down to who you fuck.

as we know, this is crap.

damn...i'm nothing? does that mean i have special invisibility powers?

oh no, my friend ... you are amazing! :)

as i said, we all know this is crap!

maybe i should have said "for a lot of people, who you are all comes down to who you want to fuck.

whew! i am kinda bummed about no special powers, though. ;)

I agree that in many cases, it's for our own benefit that we want/expect others to ID one way or another. I have to say though that one of the reasons I prefer to know how someone IDs is that I don't want to offend them by referring to them in a way that makes them uncomfortable and I would imagine that that's fairly common. So, in a way, it can be a no win situation. Ask them how they ID and make them feel pressured into IDing one way or another, or not ask them, and possibly insult them by assuming?

Make sense?

perhaps best to ask for pronoun preference?

yes, it does make sense ... i can see what that might look like.

but i do think that the discomfort that may be caused by asking is likely to be less than the discomfort caused by labeling without asking.

ah, but there are SOOOO many other gender/orientation/sexuality/identity assumptions that are made besides that!

i try always to spell and pronounce someone's name correctly. i try to use proper pronouns. after that, i don't much care. i'm not going to refer to someone's other stuff unless i know them well. i guess i really don't care about all that too much....in so far as speaking with someone goes. if a friendship develops, then there will be opportunity for those conversations to be had.

I think it goes even further than that. I would say, for a lot of people, who you are all comes down to not only who you fuck, but how you fuck.

For example, I'm a femme submissive. The assumption being - as far as many are concerned - that I'm some kind of pillow princess unable to adopt anything but a totally passive role in bed. Which of course, is absolute bullshit because as a submissive, my desire is to please, not to be pleased, including sexually. So although my Top definitely calls the shots, if you will, in bed, as elsewhere, if pleasing Hym requires my pretending to be a big, bad leather daddy and fucking Hym senseless until Hy begs for mercy (which it doesn't, but hey, it could), then that is what I will do.

Pillow princess? I don't think so. Not that I have anything against those who do ID that way but do you see where I'm coming from?

Words

I love gender threads.....

it seems one thing that might be tweaked out here...is the similarity between defining oneself and not defining oneself...

I have known butches who feel the word "butch" very much captures their gender, because their definition of "butch" is either:
1) a person who is both male and female,
OR
2) a person who is neither male or female; but a third gender, that combines elements of both male and female

I also have friends who use the word "genderqueer" and to them it means either #1 or #2 above.

On the other hand, I think I hear some people, on this thread, saying they do not want to use a label or word for their gender precisely because they think of themselves similarly to numbers 1 or 2 above. They think of themselves as between or combined, and do not feel a word or label adequately expresses this for them.

I very much love when people do different things for the same reason, or do the same things for different reasons, or arrive at the same place using various paths, or use the same path to arrive at different places or......well, this is crystal clear, right?:p

i think this is my sticking point, right here. i just don't think it's any of my business. perhaps it's because i tend to be a private person, that i use privacy as a default for others.

unless you and i decide to engage in some sort of intimacy, what's it to me? nothing, really. i am eternally curious about most everything, but don't always inquire or feel that someone is obligated to let me know these things.

I feel similarly. I appreciate labels for a couple reasons. One, they give me a starting point. They don't map out the whole entity but I've got something to start with. Secondly, my identity allowed myself to find a community, to realize there is a name for someone like me. Butch doesn't box me in - it allows me to be free to be me.